so now before the show uh I ask you guys to write down your own first world problems and uh I've got them here uh obviously I can't read them all out I've had to forward to them and onto the police uh there some proper Nutters in this room okay let's have a little look through some of these if you hear your name do give yourself uh a cheer that's always that's always good um some people are just horrible as well that's what I like Richard old people being allowed to go to the Super Market on a weekend nasty get horrible when my boyfriend has a poo and doesn't clean the toilet he claims I'll come back and piss it off [Applause] later this is a sweet one when I share chocolate or sweets and people accept inside it makes me hate them [Laughter] uh Adam corner on row H seat 21 Adam says when people squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top yes Adam finally someone dealing with the issues my friend good lad uh walking into a spiders web and turn it into a ninja is that you what's your name my love what's your name Stacy Stacy right you're wandering along just cuz some people don't get it that's all walking along Stace and you walk into a spider's web Stace and then you turn into a ninja let's have a look one yes Stacy I love it love it love it that play oh this made me laugh breastfeeding your child in public and forgetting to put your tit back [Applause] in I love it who wrote that where are you you on the end there God bless you right stand up what no it's a 15 it's a 15 certificate we don't want any of that this is a classy one waking up with a random and can't find your knickers ugly [Applause] lovely I love Liverpool I really do I it who roll that one you sir love it that was him in the blue shirt there saying me give him his moment cuz that was good timing look at me and say me again good L that's how it works losing a joke just cuz he wasn't there inside foot LS we all know what happened that's the main thing Helen G5 Helen I love this this is brilliant only having 20 minutes to get over to Lime Street to buy some wine at Marx Spencers is that what you did in the interval well not paying these prices out I love it well played that's legendary is it uh this is Mikey Ferguson on d47 where are you Mikey he's over there he's over there that's Mikey in the in the in the red tie there Mikey says I look a bit like Michael McIntyre people get disappointed when it's not him it's just me just stand up and come out here my friend I love it come right up here I want you to come right up Mikey just cut right across there come right through we're going to do we'll do a macing look he's got for it he's got for it I love it I'm back again Mikey this is your [Applause] moment W Legend 2 and a half thousand people not bothered love it good L have a sit down [Applause] M oh that was funny I've done this before Jen on seat 19 no row Jen's just cat9 Jen says when you're on your phone and you start looking for your phone but then you realize you're on your phone I can't find my phone what it is I like that one this person thinks I'm an idiot that's I've left this one in when people don't indicate and then in brackets they put when driving I know I know thanks so thanks oh dear Shor this is quite a female specific one this will leave every boat going I don't know what's happened there the awkward moments when it's silent in the toilets in the girl toilets and you're wondering who is going to we first what you why what are you doing that was literally a female only laugh there every bloat was going oh brilliant just add something else I don't know about them nice one what are you doing just sat there just like crossing your legs like that tinkle tinkle we will never get to the Box about that we really Dave this made me laugh Dave said this this is the most boring one I've ever had by the way Dave it's so boring I nearly didn't put it in but then at the end it made me laugh so much I don't know how you've done it but Dave's gone through boring and then found fun just at the bottom amazing I've lived in the house for 10 years and I still don't know which switches for what lights on the double switch why is that for me I don't know but boring but brilliant we got some Posh people in give us a cheer for the Posh people few people in here of Posh this is the poshest one I've ever had in 70 shows this is the bossest one we've had in fact if you've had a similar upbringing to me this first couple of words will be the bossest thing you've ever heard wait for this the Tupperware draw who do you think you are Tupperware drawer the Tupperware drawer is full of 30 Lids but only three Ruddy tubs it's a bloody nightmare isn't it what I like is the difference in the people in this room we've got a proper poso up aware and then we sink right to this when you need a [ __ ] just after you've had a a shower like how are those two people at the same show unbelievable when the dog farts and it burns your eyes and this one is the worst one I've ever had this is horrendous if you're with your parents I can only apologize right this just says the letter T in a kiss there's no seat number on this and rightly so okay okay here we go this is horrible you ready well let's do it democratically who wants to hear this even though I think personally it's the most offensive one I've ever had do you want to hear it okay that's how democracy works and who doesn't want to hear it okay just one no I don't okay here we go how to take the batteries out of the kidss toys for your vibrator is she in is that her what that is horrendous I showed it to me allour manager G there on the way out right he actually did this like a cartoon he went I said is that the worst one we've ever had he went it is yeah but at least it's not the other way around I was like how you made that worse now a lot of you wrote this similar one right and you'll think when I'm reading it you think oh that's me but this person added something extra on the end that nobody else did sitting on the toilet having a boo then you notice there's no toilet roll and you've got no socks on that's that is right there's people from the world going I know what this shows become this is not what I signed up for when you wake up and you think your partner's pissed a bed but he's just a sweaty bastard please tell me who who wrote that there'll be a woman sat like that dead smug like I wonder who that could be Martin hey when your wax strip runs out and you still got another bollock to do oh horrible God that's Mary from runor hey I might have haded that b Andy from Liverpool just on a rant no commas full stops all in capitals just nothing he's just happy someone's talking to him I love it well winds me up his War's bread that won't fit in the toaster she got to turn around halfway through just to get a decent piece of toast an angry Andy that place you Andy Joan my first little problem is people who pick up dog poo in a bag and then hang it up on a tree like a Christmas decoration for