Just Friends #11 - Live from the Hamptons w/ Molly Kearney

I have been like this is the most and I think the only time I've ever seen you shirtless and like you have funny nipples yeah I they're likey I get that a lot I get the lot that I have large I have larger than average nipples and I waddle when I walk and these things are things I've been getting all my life but uh Tucker hanging out with three women and and a non-binary all weekend has been quite an experience I think for his self I will say there's nothing wrong with the waddle it you got a little poopy between your legs and you're just like don't get it on my white pants no I don't think your nipples are large I think they're puffy are not dinner plates they remind me of little piglets they remind me of like a newborn pig that just had a baby what and like that's the nipple that they're suckling on out of birth [Music] ladies and gentlemen we are back with another episode of the Just Friends Podcast I'm your host Tucker and I'm your host Lindsay and Lindsay who the hell are we joined with today and today we are joined by the one the only Molly Carney good to be here guys Saturday add a sound of Applause yeah we'll put some studio on thank you for coming on the Pod Molly how are you I'm good I'm good I um I'm great I'm happy to be in the Hamptons yeah we're in the [ __ ] Hamptons um absolutely living yet another incredible life yeah we're in the Hamptons yeah I love it out here what a what a town I know Lindsay this is where where we at tell the people where we're at we're in South Hampton born and raised no I'm kidding I'm not but I I summer here and I've decided to do myth charity and bring my guest Lindsay continues to support my uh my my lifestyle for the entire year of 2024 bringing Tucker to The Hamptons it has been quite a fun experience watching him eat a lobster roll for the first time and my C get did get declined trying to buy a lobster roll I was not ready for it oh you know classic I really need a beer get a beer Molly um how how are things going for you things are going good I feel like I haven't gotten any sunburn we'll see you're kind of you have a glow you have a Hampton's glow going I've been really lotioning and lathering incredible taking my shade breaks I finished a book at the pool I've never done that in my life and what book are you reading in in the dream housee it's sad book very good Molly what's going on in life talk to us about what's going on in your life and um how are things going how are you feeling about you know I don't know your life okay my life my life my life I'm trying to interview the guest I didn't okay the guest is worried about this entire production but who's that guy who got you that watermelon oh that's our PA we get in the shot here gety come say hi let our producer get in the shot this is our PA we love him May I order a May I order a beer yeah we haven't really seen the news in four days because we've been in the back uh tanning I have no clue what's going on in the world I literally haven't even looked at the internet outside of my own feed I'm putting together a nice little hinge profile out here yeah it is quite comical hanging so closely with this straight male friend yeah single straight male friend it's been a minute and it's interesting to see your techniques isn't it pae play the land of um and endless women let's not act like you weren't on hinge this entire week so there's nothing wrong with that I know I want to hear about the the demographic out here what kind of match yeah what is the demographic I have to be honest I mean the Hing out here is unbelievable these women are so beautiful it's like you you run out of likes in four to 5 minutes I haven't even been on it that much you run out of likes now well cuz I don't pay for the premium I refus oh yeah that would be sad that would be incredibly embarrassing yeah that would be sad I do find myself when we were walking through town every time I saw a white couple wearing white instead of saying excuse us I said pardon me so that was interesting yeah the wealth the wealth really comes out here you do feel different out here I Bud thank you bu oh actually yeah you feel your I know this is where I belong this is my aesthetic this is who I am through and through been coming here since before I even had sex so like forever right yeah I'm not certain the big cities for me in the summer that's a great pivot because I officially don't want to be in New York anymore and I'm going to start taking some missions for anyone who wants to start a farm commune and we can live this life every day with fresh chicken eggs and petting goats and having such serotonin would we have a pool we would build one Molly pools are very expensive in ground specifically well I know and I'd have some I'd have some um design ideas as well what do you want to do a pool I want um you know I want like outdoor grill area a little bit of a shade yeah Ser nobody needs hot meat sitting in in the S no fans yeah maybe a good apron that says meet your meat meet your meat brick meet your meat brick meet your meat brick and then you'd be like but I'm vegan and I'd be like eat it just kidding I'd ask chickp vegans are good vegan eaters vegan people are just as good as um meat brick eaters meat meat people where did meat brick come from honey honey honey honey Isn't meat brick another word for vagina no meat brick is a a meat brick is a St is like a big strong dense block of Love Oh I thought meat brick was a term people use for vaginas and I thought you were coined it cuz you were getting so much honey honey honey honey honey that's a hell of a leap honey your imagination is UN it's just like unbelievable and I'm I love it but meat brick was like a nickname growing up okay okay I do kind of like the name meat brick for [ __ ] though that's actually kind of fun I don't like that in terms of me I like it more than beef curtain certainly yeah beef curtain's up there I hate the term beef curtain like but why are I am meat brick right but I thought that I genuinely thought your name was meat brick because you got so much of it no Molly just starts throwing on a nickname for for how my cousin call like yeah that's what I thought but I don't I guess I that up yeah I think you got to get your little meat brick out of the oven or out of the gutter Out the Oven whoa yeah hot meat that sounds anti-semitic oh honey that does that does I think we might be the first podcast ever in a pool we're actually kind of breaking definitely not yeah I don't know but I love your I love your en I feel like I am 30 seconds away from getting electrocuted and I genuinely don't feel here you can't get electrocuted by a battery unless you eat it B it chew it swallow it went to Boxing class this morning he was like one two do the combo and I my brain could simply cannot compute like a one two three combo it was actually soarr can you do dance moves no I'm actually one of the most uncoordinated um say the about me I have not an ounce of Rhythm in my body and that's not something I'm proud of like I wish I was like one of those really cool dancers but I'm not not I mean you kind of have a lot of good assets so ma thank you I wasn't fishing well we are in pool there are no fish so we won't be doing that I wasn't fishing but I appreciate you by all means yeah and dancing your dancing just might suck I actually think it does not suck I'm I find dancing to be kind of unimpressive like if like a really cool dance like you you're either incredibly good those hip-hop girls on the internet that's impressive even impressive but I'm kind of just like like I don't know is the avocado gone too too sour the the avocado like you know it's just like I don't know if I can if I like it oh I love it I don't know yeah it's like I don't know what's the difference between good and bad like people be like OMG she slayed this and I'm watching I'm like I feel like I did that at like my high school dance I would love to pay to watch you dance I feel like I did that when I fell to the shower are you a good dancer no I'm actually a terrible dancer dancing is like one of the things I'm really afraid of dancing is one of my biggest fears um dancing in groups that I don't know everyone at if we're at a club like that is my biggest fear yeah really yeah cuz I go me too and I'm like God I'm stuck stiff as a boy I just go oh I just suck I went out with this choreographer and we went to this uh we went to these like one of these like New York City dance competitions but it was in like the base so they were doing like a cipher in the basement of this bar where all these dancers would get in a circle and like and like break dance and do all this wild [ __ ] and then she pushed me in and I had to like do a dance in front of all these professional dancers and they were all making fun of me after and like I looked like such a huge loser it was really um really a low point for me I actually was so insecure about my dancing that I took an intro to dance class um in Midtown it was like some dance agency and I went with my friend not in school just like in life no like four years ago I just like signed up it was like $30 and it was like an intro to dance class but it was hip-hop which I don't remember reading in the fine print so I walked in and I was definitely a minority and I don't think it was an intro class despite it saying intro 101 because the way this teacher was moving and dancing and moving on so quickly with the numbers and the cues was genuinely so worrisome and then we had to break off in groups and put the whole combo together in like four people groups and there was 50 people in the class and then we had to perform it in front of the whole class and then when I watched how absolutely talented and incredible everyone was popping their hips and shaking their ass I snuck out the back before my performance because I was so moried the Runa away break dancer and it was in that moment that I realized that I'll never be a dancer and I'm okay with that I actually really respect the leaving uh and not sing that's perfect that's if you don't want to do it you don't have to do it you know I I literally asked the teacher where's the bathroom and didn't come back yeah you know what I can do the moonwalk let's see really yeah but I worry about doing it here what if I fall in you know what I can do could you on the grass I mean do it later no I can do it I'll do it in a little bit Yeah mentally bra I can do a front flip yeah do it right now do it I did a front flip yesterday and I genuinely thought I broke my B it actually was incredible I couldn't believe you you should do it right I'll do it at the end do you guys hear something PA is getting a little our PA is insulting can I be honest you said that yesterday I can't dive either I just didn't want to say it at the time cuz you were getting you were getting [ __ ] on for it and I was like damn if I say I can dive I believe one look at you and I know you can't di I cannot dive I've been I was on swim team for many years I could never figure out the dive wow being on the swim team being on the swim team and still not being able to dive is actually actually more embarrassing I mean I could it was just not you know some of these guys can dive and really get under the water and hit a a boost I could I don't understand how people dive into murky water water you don't know what it looks like like in the in Lake e there's a bunch of these Cliffs you can jump off of and stuff stuff and my friends they're hopping in they don't know what's going on what's underneath coming out with bloody legs they're just and I'm sitting on the boat I go I'll hold on to the boat and then they're getting paralyzed you can get paralyzed and never move again or get lost in the water yeah never be seen again I have been getting burned out here you haven't at all on my back I have been like this is the most and I think the only time I've ever seen you shirtless and like you have funny nipples yeah I they're like puy I get that a lot I get the lot that I have large I have larger than average nipples and I waddle when I walk and these things are things I've been getting all my life but uh taker hanging out with three women and and a non-binary all weekend has been quite an experience I think for his self I will say there's nothing wrong with the waddle it you got a little poopy between your leg and you're just like don't get it on my white pants no I don't think your nipples are large I think they're puffy ples they remind me of little piglets they remind me of like a newborn pig that just had a baby what and like that's the nipple that they're suckling on out of birth you know many years ago this would have been my worst nightmare but I've really come to terms with my nipples over the past couple years you know you got to embrace yeah I've been coined hardest nipples in New York your body y y your whole life so your body your body might as well just embrace your body I love my belly I love my abdominals amen I you know I got a bad knee sometimes cuz I fell off a golf cart but that's okay you got to love your body yeah I simply refuse to put my down ever again you know some people have little nipples some people have sharp nipples I have big uh pizza roll nipples some people have the hardest nipples in New York City some people have the hardest nipples in New York City some people we won't name names Lindsay's nipples are always out on the Pod whenever I'm lost I don't look for the North Star look for the pointy nipples that belong to this woman oh God it has been nice I do enjoy being in the company of women I hate to admit it uh women are a wonderful time and they thems make absolutely no mistake well we do you know we coddle you but also we make fun of you just enough but we do coddle you it's nice and you're not going to be getting that from the male species yeah it's it's a nice change of pace not me doing this like you women are women are a fun group to hang out with cuz it's like they'll insult you and humble you but then in 30 seconds they'll be like but you look so beautiful yeah so it's like it's kind of like an interesting Dynamic where it's like we're making punches and we're doing Jabs but then we're going to give you the best compliments 30 seconds after to like really keep like a well balanced vibe to the weekend yeah yeah which men like I just like we asked Tucker what would like if this was just all men like what they would be talking about and all he said was [ __ ] but also you also said in the last pod that you would wouldn't mention and say that word I'm like y'all the straightness of this podcast is showing sorry I'm kid we not get Sports it's like sports Our Lives [ __ ] you know I mean I feel like that's really all we all talk about and the [ __ ] you don't get yeah yeah yeah and the [ __ ] you had and the [ __ ] you never forget and the [ __ ] you uh would like to get in the future I'm bored I'm like I kind fall asleep over here and that's about what it's been like but I have been enjoying myself and um yeah you guys think you're going to get depressed on Monday back in the city I think I'll get depressed in about four hours on the car right home oh okay but I don't want to kill the vibe we're still having a great time yeah The Vibes are not I will say I know what I've been doing this summer I've been making a healthy ranch dip cuz I am Midwest it was good I'm Midwestern I love ranch and I go I got to stop eating my calories in this soupy white deliciousness and you put in Greek yogurt which is healthy Greek yogurt it's not you know it's it's been done a thousand times over but I haven't cooked or made anything ever in my life and I chopped some things and I pickled some onions the fresh dill was a nice touch I didn't think you were going to do the the dehydrated herb I always do the fresh dill and by mean always I've done it twice and honestly you perfected it and I did pickled onions and I did the pear goat cheese arugula you haven't done that yet walnut salad yes I did it for me and my honey oh you did yeah my honey and I had it the other tonight for dinner and it was good of course when when did you sneak a walnut arugula salad in oh we're having it tonight i' say barbecue Monday night I did it wow incredible yeah so you know I'm just trying to make some Basics so when I go to cookouts and stuff I have a staple because my mom always says don't go somewhere empty-handed you should always have some party tricks lately I've been seeing a lot of come empty-handed I brought my y you know what we also brought on this trip guys we brought a yo-yo everybody's been yo-yoing but nobody's as good as my ass walking the dog I wanted to clown you for the yo-yo so hard it's awesome yeah he clowned me for the yo-yo for a minute and then I see in the corner my eye him trying to and I'm like flick Theus flick the if you can see anything in life folks it should be Molly yoyoing after a night of drinking incredible walk in the dog walk in the dog cat's cradle I forgot how awesome [ __ ] like that is the inner child those little I'm such a big fan of pool games like forcing you to play Marco Polo in categories in the pool despite your like but then you say one of my defining traits is I'm a childish person no I don't say that you did to you literally said that word for word I think they like too cool to like have fun know plenty of people I hope to be childlike when I'm old yeah like you were so apprehensive to play Marco Polo and youed you were so apprehensive wait can we rewind Lindsay was told by the PA that she's got to hold her microphone you were so apprehensive to have fun and let your hair down and you know find your inner child and the pool game you playing Marco pool I I think was one of the highlights for you I have I have been letting my hair down out here I've been surfing I learned how to surf you learned how to surf I wouldn't sayar I don't I don't need it that's too that's dangerous okay never mind I do love surfing now I'm going to become a surfer guy put on my little outfits I have a couple outfits planned already for when I get back maybe word for that you know it is funny to see Hampton sucker yeah called poser I'm going to put sea salt spray in my hair I I will I will straight up pretend I'll surfing once and then making that the lead photo of your hinge profile is the definition of a poser yeah so what yeah it might help your stats but when they find out that that was simply for the grham that's going to I them out I'll be a goofball about it I'll be like never surf before goofball yeah my my leading charact I know so many ladies that are like I'm looking for a goofball okay okay I can't wait to meet a so your first your first hinge profile picture is you with a surfboard not yet be he's doing the reboot on the ride home and he's depressed the reboot in my car you're going to be you're going to be doing that in my car yeah I'm going be putting got a little dump in the car all right and the caption is okay oh what's the cap I forgot I said it last time it was um oh something about ladies girls guide parenthesis I am not gay no it was girls weekend parentheses I'm not gay well another parentheses well yeah well I will say I don't think an Instagram dump should ever the comment should never be thought about for more than I don't know a minute 30 seconds even because then you're just like well maybe it's like to do or not to do jump in the pool is the answer yeah it is it does get a little embarrassing just run in front of a bu in the Hampton well you know what I did last night at like 2:00 in the morning when I couldn't fall asleep I went on all the photos and I went through all the live photos and found the best ones yeah cuz I I didn't know you were so like um vain a v he's one of the most vain men I've ever met you really are V I won't even allow mirrors in my like room in house cuz I can't stop looking it's really sad funny to see such an average man Be So Vain with big puffy nipples at least he's honest and open about and I respect and appreciate it and honestly getting close to the guy in this way has just been such an insightful moment for me cuz it's like wow you guys are really that like well I'm a bit different I mean I'm a little out of my mind make absolutely no mistake yeah yeah yeah but who isn't but I'm also incredibly confident sometimes you have to be uh just the lack of complexity really is what does it for me I mean he's been reading the same book for four days I've been reading the same book for four years Lind would you like to tell Lind read 11 pages of her book in about uh four and a half days six hours a day I've read 140 Pages you're not at 150 yet we have a lindsy got here on page 111 we've been here 4 days and I'm on page 140 but you know what that's symbolic of having a really fun time and being so present that you're not even reading a book you're playing games in the pool you're making food like you're having so many giggles and laughs and to me I don't need pages in my bell I just need memories maybe that's the IG caption yeah and then a photo of your book gun Steals and I will sneak a couple I'll put some book photos in there just so they know I'm reading yeah Molly's really good at an inside scoop into my sociopathy it's really embarrassing so the posting with the book is on your actual page I'm not actually going to do the book post that's just for a bit but I would love one you what like of me reading the surf book oh yeah no I would have to jump I would run into that F yeah that was I would like do one of these runs cartoon run through a wall if I if you're like hey M can I buy you can you take a picture with me on the pool holding my surf book well you weren't here earlier when we literally had a photo shoot with him in a I was I was right over there and I was watching an Agony but for fun that was just for funsies but yeah I mean no I have to say if I had a dating profile I feel like it would be really hard for me to curate like how and who I am and my best photos for like just the the male gay is like I find it easy I had to have me on a floaty in an above ground pool picture number two it' have me fishing no fish picture number three a picture with my grandma we'd be laughing mouth open red teeth from the wine red teeth from the wine laughing that's picture number three picture number four would probably be me with my boys you know just like oh they're right there it's them with their boys one of the bo let them know you have friends I would do another the last picture would be me with my girls and I'd be like having like a little apron on and I'd be serving them my pickled onions my hemade r that you made a week ago for the first time and um luckily I don't need to be making a profile I am taken sorry but sorry people it's easy from afar to be like what a what a what would your prompt what was your best prompt what what does that mean it's like a question that you have to like answer or ask oh um you have to give me a question I don't know I don't know I thought you I thought you were I think I'd leave a voice memo of me it's like one thing you should know about me is dot dot dot dot one thing you should know about me is Carney is my last name is my first I take B Vans it quenches my thirst my pants are tight I drink Miller Light and if you get too close I just might wake you up in your sleep make you so scared that you can't eat slap you in the F with raw meat little lady you better stop sharing at me cuz I got skinny ankles go Browns [ __ ] the Bangles cuz I'm Cleveland boneing bread and I listen to Bone Thug before bed wait I like chicken patties my little brother's a golf caddy and LeBron James may have left Cleveland but he's still our daddy second that was incredible on the spot wow it was not on the spot I've been doing that I think that was like my first standup joke oh wow you know what I can't stop thinking about this summer what people jumping off cruise ships is that happening a lot it's been going on maybe it's just my algorithm cuz I went down a not a wormhole a rabbit's hole rabbit hole Rabbit Hole I've been going down a rabbit's hole I went down a rabbit's hole oh get gra why did you say rabbit Soul Rabbit Hole wait what are they trying to kill themselves or they just doing it for fun drunk and like daring each other there was a really tragic one where they dared a kid and he was drunk was sad and then did you go so deep in that rabbit's hole that it was there was a shark that yeah they zoom in again and like play it back and right after the kid jumps like a huge fin WS by he got eaten by a shark minutes after he jumped in like the most condens populated shark area in the Bahamas and then another guy jump B Rouge I remember this yeah another guy jumped in and uh he just was like kind of jumped in in sort of in a bay and they got him and then they interviewed him and they're like tell the kids tell people not to jump he's like don't jump um scary don't jump I thought everyone knew not to do that I have something to say it's like one of those like intrusive thoughts where you're like I'm going to jump off this boat I don't have like the intrusive thought things like too much I think that cruise ships are the bane of America and I hate them it really is it I cannot have you been on one yeah I know you like them I only like them when I was like when I was I haven't been on one since high school I liked when going on them with like my family and stuff like all my cousins I hate them love them they're one of the worst things for the entire planet and like they are kind of absolutely disgusting and the size of the room that you live in is actually kind of [ __ ] up but it is kind of American culture just wrapped into one thing it is kind of nice for that reason alone I hate it yeah it was scary there was a Tik Tok that showed like all these cruise ships that are dead like are they like done being used and they're just like in this like barged area it's really freaky they look like old old pairs of shoes oh yeah I guess they just can't you can't just get rid of a cruise ship you just have to leave it there I don't know like think they should take why don't they repurpose them into like housing the homeless how cool would that be that's a great idea that's actually BR you to live on a cruise ship you heard it here first ban all cruise ships and make them homes for the homeless they has everything they need and they'll be off the streets so like the people who hate them can [ __ ] have their way they'll probably be docked in in the Caribbean snorking with all the extra goggles left aboard like amazing also you have to think about the great jobs that every pip supplies to people and they can stay those people can stay employed great yeah and the government can pay for it yeah it's actually brilliant and then like you know you can give I think I need to write a tariff or something yeah that's actually genius what is a tariff an it's not bad I need to write a tariff that actually went over my head I didn't know what a tariff was either for a minute isn't a tariff like a I think a tff is like a I need to write a bill a bill you have to write I need to call Joe and write a bill Jo be like what I can't hear you I found a new strategy of housing the homeless ban cruise ships and put them all on them and honestly they could stay at Sea they'd have so much fun yeah that'd be great learn how to swim stay at Sea Christopher Walkin that's actually such a brilliant idea someone know I like I guess the only thing that's stopping would be the profit margins into the deep end hand me the watermelon I'm so this is like the most bootle [ __ ] thing so what who's going to who's going to see it anyways we're just enjoying ourselves you know what I mean I think we should do a musical right now wait I want to see you moonwalk I feel like we were set up for a music video Oh my legs are get Molly to moonwalk don't get this cut this part cut this part cut this part they're back points Molly it better be good why wouldn't it be good I don't know I've never seen it whoa wait but I've never done it on like a balancing beam who a balancing whoa who yes sir yeah I sent it yes it's just a little hard to do that was incredible what's going on well done thank you so much for coming on the podcast it was such a pleasure to have you another another incredible episode of the Pod everybody what the hell did we just do who cares we're in the Hamptons we'll be back York we'll be back in the studio next week and then we'll never be back in the studio again cuz we will lose the space etc etc but until I don't know I mean I'm just kind of I'm just kind of he's down huge until we're we're absolutely down huge until uh until then folks what another absolutely amazing episode