Real Estate Power Couple Tells All | (ft. Ben & Connie Daniels)

guys welcome to the podcast I'm really excited to have you here Ben and Connie um we've lived parallel lives for over 10 years yeah known who you are Ben you've been crushing it in real estate and you guys have a really cool story and I'm thankful to have you on the podcast thankful to have my co-host Betty Joe here and I'm really excited to talk to you guys welcome to the podcast oh appreciate thank you for having than for having us we' never actually formally told our story other than just to people that we've met or that have wanted to um hear it to maybe help them go through similar things yeah well thank you in advance and for our listeners this is going to be a treat this is a really cool story and you know I'm rebranding my podcast the podcast was Recession Proof real estate investing how do I not lose money how do I buy multif family I did that forever and I realized over the couple three years of doing that that talking to people like you with a unique story or who have been through a a trauma a trial in life and who could tell that story was extremely motivating and inspiring for others and for my listeners and it wasn't until I started doing a little bit more of that that I realized that was way more fun than talking about real estate yeah and then I started getting text messages of people saying hey that really inspired me thank you so much and I was like oh wow and and just me selfishly the interviews have been so much better and and it's just fun doing them you know so um I've Leed it probably helped you in real estate too CU isn't I mean I always feel like the key to sales in real estate is you if you can real like if you can relate to anyone and anything they've been through and they feel comfortable with you you can sell anyone it's all about relationships relationship and so all the the more things you've been through or people you've met and our friend group is I don't think there's a more diverse friend group you could imagine we have friends I mean if if you categorize people in boxes which we do not um we all the boxes and it's been a blessing for us and our kids to see and meet all kinds of different people that live different lives and uh so we still all come together and have a good time and everyone's got a story everyone I mean and I know the type of people you hang out with you hang out with positive people you don't have to be a multi-millionaire to be a friend with you guys but you have to be going somewhere when I say going somewhere um improving your situation right a positive happy person and the person we had on here um before you guys got in here um meth addict in her teenage years to Rockstar real estate agent mom crushing it in life yeah and so amazing yeah there's some really cool stories now you guys have a unique story you were married got divorced and then remarried and you have two beautiful children one of which just got signed on to modeling agency so congrats to her I'm sure you guys are very proud parents yes and your boys thinking about moving to Europe mhm and um so let's backtrack a little bit you guys met when you were 19 20 I was 20 yeah this is 1999 were you 19 it was in July I was 20 when you got married yeah when we got married it was one month before I turned 21 okay holy C I wasn't even old enough for a drink not that I would have cuz I was really warming at the time yeah yeah and I had moved to Utah just I'd came down from my mom's wedding and after the wedding was here for the weekend and ended up um answering an ad for extra work on a film set um and I showed up and I was like this will be cool I was always fascinated with movies and inws John Goodman and Courtney Cox and I was like I'm not leaving Utah this is was this Sund dads or where were you no this is just downtown just downtown um Marty Fresca from the fresa family was a casting agent and he's like he's like you should come do this and I was just you in background you know but like seeing the behind the scenes of filming was amazing and that's kind of how we originally met was through a Talon agency what which one was it it's called Urban Urban Willamina Urban was Willamina Ur well at the time it was just Urban but yeah it was a part-time job for me I just worked downtown in between moving up from suu going to the U and I needed a job during the summer and my friend knew the owner so she's like hey maybe you could fill in at the front desk until she finds somebody permanent and then in walks this guy no actually we met Play It's kind of our Cinderella Story okay so I was we got to tell this part it's just too cute not to to um I was invited to the play um by the girl playing Cinderella okay and I would have never thought as a singer I'm just going to go to play by myself but I was like okay I'll go and so she was invited I was invi invited by the casting director of yeah of the whole agency she's like hey it's our last night here's a couple tickets come see Cinderella so I brought my mom summer day yeah Cinderella I met him she thought the prince was cute and I just remember seeing her walk in and I was like Wow but Utah was very different for me as far as dating cuz I grew up in Montana and in Montana if you meet someone just go back to the same bar next week and then they'll be there yeah in Utah if you meet somebody you may never find him again um got it I mean a lot bigger here it's a little bit yeah a little bit harder so I was like boy I'm going to have to but so I just kept noticing her and at the end of the um play uh they had the the queen who was the casting director and Cinderella and some of the main casts were all standing and meeting people and they were all lining up mhm and uh I knew them so well I kind of came up snuck up behind him and put my arms around him right as Connie walked up I think he did that on purpose he saw me at the same time he's like hey this is my chance um but uh so she's like who's this guy you know and and kind of got to got her name and found out had heard just that she was working the front desk at the talent agency and I was working construction at the time Roofing the Grand America Hotel nice what were you doing for the agency I was just taking classes and and wanting to be an actor okay so I was bartending at night and wanting to be an actor and then doing construction as well and um so I would always try to find ways to pop into the agency and see if she was there so it really was like coincidence you guys were both there cuz you were just looking but it gets the coincidence gets even better so then the same girl invited me to she goes come to an acting class you know you have to take acting classes if you're going to be an act I was like all right so I show up and they have this like round circle and you just kind of grab a seat well Connie walks in with her sister well and I'm no actress and I I didn't even want to take acting classes but the same woman who got me to go to her play that was over the acting Department she's like hey you should come take an acting class well my little sister thought that would be fun and I'm like well it's like 30 bucks we have to pay to go do you want to do it and she was like yeah yeah let's do it and we were young and you know I don't know she probably had some babysitting money and so we bought our tickets and go to this acting class I just went to support her and I'm like maybe it'll be fun so yeah he walks in and my sister and I are sitting there and he sits next to my sister and then they ended up pairing us up every other person to do a scene together so him and I got paired up to do a scene together and it was so interesting too cuz the premise the premise of the scene was everybody had the same dialogue and there was like 10 groups 10 couples or and the premise was um you had these lines like good morning how you doing you know hi how you sleep how was your night how did you sleep but everybody had a different scenario like ours was we had just spent the night together and I just found out that she was a transvestite oh wow so we had to act out these normal like this normal dialogue like this is awkward like oh and so but everyone was different and we went outside to practice our lines and just ch cha CH just didn't talked yeah and didn't so then we had to just kind of go wing it and uh and then at the end of the class her sister was just kind of lingling there lingering talking and I was like I got to ask this girl out I'm never going to see her again so I was like all right like can I have your number and I remember calling her and this is back when was it her parents phone yeah yeah yeah okay call I had no cell phone 1999 I love that like she's actually at Lake Powell I'm like okay and so then I finally got a hold of her on the phone she called me back and I was like all right and I was kind of you know old school and I was like well come over and I'll cook you dinner and so I made like this salmon with the sauce made this whole dinner and I was like all right and head her over went picked her up had her over I was like what do you want to drink do you want like a zema Z or a beer or a wine cooler or some wine actually I wasn't into wine at the time and she was like no no I'm good I was like okay not understand 19 yeah well she didn't drink yeah and since I moved to Utah I kept hearing about LDS this and you know the there were all the radio ads LDS standards and I'm like what is this you know LDS standards thing so she was like kind of bummed out that I wasn't Mormon but decided it well because I had a a non-mormon boyfriend all through high school who I thought for sure I was going to marry so when he decided not to take missionary discussions I'm like oh I can't marry this guy so then I meet this guy who I'm like he's so cute but ah another one he's not Mormon so I can't marry him because it has to be forever at the time you know I really believe that and the family pressure yeah so I was just like bummer he's so cute but why do I have to think I have to marry every cute guy we can just date and have a good time and be friends yeah that was my mindset I was like it's fine but she gave me her we all had head shots she gave me her head shot and I was like well and I was going through a time too when I moved to Utah it was weird I had grown up Lutheran mhm and when I moved to Utah I just felt I was like I need religion I don't know why I felt like I needed a religion this afterm Marine Corps uhhuh after military and the military you have to pick a church to go to every Sunday so I went to like Southern Baptist Churches I picked a different one every every weekend and uh I remember going to Barnes & nobl and saying I need the Bible and they go which one and I was like the Holy Bible and there was aisles and aisles of I was like I don't I don't know and I was kind of dating this born again Christian girl who and my roommate was born again Christian and then given me a book on Cults and Mormonism was in it yeah so I remember telling my parents like I met this girl and she's Mormon and my mom's like Oh no I had that same conversation no really yes my dad who was an Outlaw Biker um was had a little different when I told him well later on when I told him I was getting baptized because we were getting engaged after three months oh um nice y he goes welcome to the family and he sent me this entire genealogy book my whole dad side of the family was LDS and I had no idea oh wow so I have this whole book on genealogy so it was just your great grandpa that stopped going to church yeah so it was his great grandpa and his grandpa but like almost all his family before that were all Mormons so of course my mom was like this is like the missing week now you can join your family back together well and she was over one night and found the book on Colts and she's like Mormons are in here like what well because you know you'd already I'd always heard like oh Mormon's a cult and I'm like no it's not and they tell you not to read them read it in an actual book then it just was so weird for me to go oh my gosh people actually believe it's a Cole and I mean I have different views on it now than I did then but but still but I did but and she asked me to do the missionary discussions and those are trip well a trip to me for me going going to church with her it felt very much like like going to church with my born again Christian friend was like a production guitars and the lights like people were like rock band and I was a little bit more like shut up be quiet like pay attention you know like you know like this is where a church that's my favorite part the singing and uh so they'd get all kind of hysterical and so when I went with her it felt like growing up Lutheran it felt the same so I was like okay I'm good with this I'm comfortable with this and uh we went for a year and and her mom moved up our marriage because she was worried that we were and did get in trouble before we got married tell the TRU worried about making babies kidding we we and I'm like Mom is it going to make a difference she's like we almost went to the courthouse to like just get married and be like so now we you get in your head about it it's like okay so at this point we need paperwork that says it's okay for us to have sex and so I was just like this is so stupid but there's so much Social and family pressure on that so much but I was so confused by so we were going to secretly do that so we felt okay with it and then we're like then we thought about it we're like well and so much I don't know if that's the answer either well that's what was crazy me is I had moved out from my home when I was 17 wow and my parents didn't call me they didn't worry about me and so when I was 24 dating her her mom would call my apartment after midnight nothing good happens after midnight what's going on what are you doing and she would be like we can't do this we can't do that I'm like and I always joke that like she was the first girl to tell me no so I was like I better I being a very good Mormon girl at the time did they tell you um that my favorite quote from my by you Bishop was back rubs in the front leave the front R rubs in the back leave the front rubs like in the back room like you weren't allowed to take people to your back to your bedroom at BYU they could only stay in the front front room of your apartment yeah yeah yeah and you definitely shouldn't give him back rub because that would lead to oh my I haven't heard that of all the things God back rubs in the front leave the front rubs in I'm like are you kidding me well and my parents were so kind of like my dad it didn't matter if I got straight A's what I did in business or not I didn't do a whole lot of business when I was young but like what made him proud of me was that I got girls but I was like hyper shy in high school I didn't date really I was so shy I I just shy yeah I mean speaking in public would have I mean I remember being horrified right uh how I was do it and uh I would turn red if a girl talked to me my ear they would do it just to embarrass me in high school it wasn't until the military that all a sudden I was like had this kind of like bad boy image and like would go off base and girls just showed up so it was It was kind of easy like the unifor but also but mentally for that to be what made dad proud of me kind of was like kind of messed me up a little bit and I didn't love I didn't I was always like the nice guy I was like I would meet these girls and be like this is the one and then two weeks later be like I got I get her to go away in a nice way and I was like what's wrong with me I do not want to be like you know not to speak ill of my dad but he was married married seven times it just wasn't his you know he just wasn't a marriage person and I knew that's something I didn't want I wanted to find that one woman that I could like have a life with and have a history with yeah so I met her and it was like this game changer and so uh then but then her she had so much guilt she would tell me all this stuff she's like yeah I've been with two guys and I was like like ever or last weekend like ever or last weekend like and she and then so guilty about it yeah I was like if I tell him everything and he still likes me then I'm okay but like if he finds out later you know just how you're like have so much guilt around church it's like you're tainted you're chewed up bubblegum at this point you gum de said the same thing when she met John once you like wrinkle up a paper even if you undo it it's still wrinkled it's still wrinkled if it was yesterday when we were dating okay something we need to talk about but but but like before I knew you like I don't care what you did you're like two okay uh can we not talk about my body count yeah exactly then I dug into it I'm like wait a minute how many people have you been with you're really like oh let's not talk about that I've been single since I was 17 I didn't have my values handed to me like I had to be a certain way so no social pressure to be a virgin yeah in fact encouraged not to be yeah I felt like I was disappointing by being not more yeah you know promiscuous very very but it kind of like it's kind of like the truth you hear like the the joke about The Bishop's daughters the wildest one but also the parents that are very wild like I kind of impose these very structured boundaries for myself and and was kind of you know like I wanted to make her a dinner and date and like get to know her and like yeah you know it was kind of the old school so it worked yeah it worked and he got married and so so your mom moved up the wedding so yeah cuz because she had an idea you guys were well I broke down get trouble yeah cuz I felt so bad no so Ben took missionary discussions and then he got baptized like two weeks later like really fast he was just like yeah sounds good sounds good let's do it the discussions were fine the only part that was weird for me was when they were like do you believe but like they would make they get real seriously make you commit will you commit to the word of wisdom and I was like do I need to sign something like is a hard cloth what it's a punishment very hard clo Betty got baptized for marriage as well really relationship I was I was pregnant oh and I was taking to discussions in Hawaii and I straight up told my Bishop I was like Hey like I've read this book twice cover to cover wow there's stuff in here that I'm super confused about he's like don't pay attention to that don't pay attention you believe in this Hawaiian Mormons are awesome my Bishop had tattoos from head to toe if if I wasn't in Hawaii I don't think I would have followed through cuz I'd taken the the discussions a few times and now just's like this shit's whack yeah but being different in Hawaii yeah and you were pregnant their family so the bishop was cool but the State president was like you are you sleeping together and I was like well we like cuddle it's like that's got to change so we literally separated bedrooms oh you were living together we Liv yeah we were we separated our bedrooms I mean you're like I'm pregnant does that answer your I was I was I was abtin no I was straight up abent everything but we had to separate our rooms he had his own room I had my own room and I was like yep I'm not drinking cuz I'm pregnant I'm not having sex uh I'm following everything I I don't I think pregnant ladies are kind of hot just me just gonna say I was hot throw that out there we actually had I remember going to church and we had we had I felt really we had some great experiences at church like there were times where people like we'd walk in and this I remember someone said there's just a light around this couple and we just kind of felt special and yeah there was sometimes we go away from it like wow that I really needed to hear that discussion today so there was a lot of good things about it we live we lived in the within the church for like six years MH but I remember when we so we when we first it was right when we were dating uh I don't know how early on a couple months my sister was getting married in Vegas and I was supposed to bring this other girl and then I was like well I want to take Connie so I canceled her flight and rebooked it with Connie and we're walking through a casino and I used to drink captain coax all the time that was my drink and I ordered the drink and she kind of was like I could tell she kind of was like I was judging him and I was like I was like but I didn't say anything cuz I was like you can do what you want cuz she never was like I need you to be this way or anything she never told me anything like that um but she's just like well I just probably want marry someone that drinks oh and I remember I sat I I sat it down on the bar and I didn't drink for 5 years wow he didn't pick up another drink until I started drinking like five years later oh I guess we're drinking now well that's that's love it well it wasn't it was easy like you know just it's not easy for everyone to do that though no and so you know yeah the commitment to someone is like cool all right like that that's easy kind of like our Buddy's um Dad who his wife was like you know I'm they've been married forever they're in their 60s and she's like I think I'm going to leave the Baptist Church and he's literally the administrator of a Baptist College wow and he goes okay uh if you're leaving I got to leave too wow now they're in Vegas nicest guy ever he was actually our driver to EDC oh nice my gosh great the one that I was like rolling up the window contact with he must be a pretty cool guy but for him yeah it was kind of he kind of said the same thing wasn't that hard of a decision yeah if we're going to be partners in this in this life but not everyone's like that though I that's that takes a special if your partner in life has made a decision you are at that fork of like do I support them or do I not support them right it's a simple yes or no the key to I think you know they always talk about like the success of the man is based on the woman you marry and there's so many things I wouldn't have done in my life had it not been for her like she had this very specific plan like get married have kids you know like we're going to do these and right away it was like we need to have kids and I was like we're broke are you crazy like we live in your mom's basement right now why do you think we need to have kids it was it was the only argument we ever had and I'm like this shouldn't be something we should argue about this should be something celebrated and excited about so I was kind of bummed out and then we magically just got pregnant somay wow the Rhythm the Rhythm method which I never heard about or knew about yeah it worked out interesting yeah so you stopped taking the pill or I was on the pill at the time okay yeah that's like a big secret do you want me to tell it no I knew she was on the pill but she didn't tell me till after that she decided Well I got so mad and I was so young and so I don't know naive I was like you know what I'm just not going to take it and then I got a whole month of not taking it and then at the end I'm like oh my gosh if I get pregnant and I didn't tell him this is not how children should come into the world I should not be sneaking this yeah so then I started my period I was like okay I'm taking every single pill that's not who I am that's so deceitful I'm not doing that to my husband I don't know what I was thinking and by the end of the next month I didn't start I was pregnant and then I was like oh my gosh it got out of my system just enough probably yeah and so I was so worried to tell him oh my gosh we're pregnant because he was the was the only thing we argued about this is Juicy how did he handle it you know I actually so we went she took me to my favorite restaurant Wingers well we went we went to one of our wi Wingers Wingers we a bunch of our friends were getting married at the time so we went to a wedding reception and then I had I went over to Target and I got these cute little baby booties and like a little onesie that said daddy's boy or dad I don't Daddy's Baby or something and I'm like came make this little cute gift basket and I wrote him this card and I was like well well I mean there's only one way to I I can't turn this thing around nowes me my gift so we go to Wingers they bring us the popcorn and I just slid this little gift over to him he's like what is this and I'm just like I don't know how this is going to go so he opens it up and he sees these baby items and he opens up a card and it was the sweetest thing because he looked at me and he goes everything always ends up working out for people who have children it's going to be okay and I was like just sobbing I'm like like oh my gosh it's going to be okay even though I had no idea how it was going to be okay at this point and everything did work out and like better than ever but it's not like you didn't want kids you were just like scared cuz you're like we're broke we're living in the basement yeah like it's not the right time like I knew I wanted to get married but I don't I don't think if I hadn't moved to Utah I wouldn't have yeah it just wasn't like the culture in Montana like people just didn't I don't know it wasn't really a big deal just like college wasn't a big deal like it was just like you get out of high school and they're like Army Navy Air Force Marines which one are you doing where did you live in Montana Missoula okay yeah so you taught to me was like this Fantasy Place of like there's kids driving BMWs this is insane where am I Beverly Hills Missoula is pretty B dunk it is it's changed now I think but it for sure I was just like there's so much opportunity here and I was like you know then you start to meet people and and so yeah we had we had Josh and then a a year later we got sealed than the temple mhm so we did that with him which was got baptized yeah you got get baptized yeah cuz you have to wait a year yep be married for a year uh and then you can because I did I did that too yeah and we actually waited two years because we were so broke when apparently we didn't have enough Faith to pay our tithing during our broke years yeah you have to pay your tithing right I'm like we can if we pay our tithing we have to get we have to move out so anyway it took us another year to pay our tithing get right with everything and so we were married 2 years and took our little three-month-old through the temple it's awesome yeah and then uh yeah then we had jenica 2 years later yeah exactly almost two years later on her on his birthday she was doing that's a great story so he said I'm not going to I don't think I can marry someone that drinks so he sets the drink down doesn't drink for 5 years then you decide think I'm going to stop taking birth control oh [ __ ] what have I done I better start taking it again but it was too late at that point point here we are but jenica wasn't planned at all it just happened yeah I mean have you guys heard of the Rhythm method yeah yeah this yeah where you kind of like watch the like days you ovulate and then see you something few days before a few days after yeah we were doing that like how it was told and then somehow I just got I must have been super fertile in my 20s or something I feel like it I got pregnant on birth control did you three times Liam's a birth control baby yeah and when they're meant to come they're just going to come anyway three of my kids I want kids and Pregnant times on birth control wow yeah I see I always knew I wanted to have kids and be a dad but I don't think I would have ever said let's do it now's the day I think that's hard for young kids nowadays especially like talking to my kids and their friends and stuff they're like everyone's looking for the perfect time and it's like there's never going to be a perfect time it's like oh when we buy our first house or when we do this it'll be the right time but it's like no there'll be something else something else will come up there's no good time to have kids no yeah no good times no there's you just do it and you live your life and you figure it out a lot of our friends are some of our oldest friends have the youngest kids and then we have older kids and what's kind of cool is for our younger friends that are like in their mid 20s we're kind of the example of like oh life doesn't end when you have kids you could still party and have fun and go to festivals and like live a life you guys are wait late 30 no you're 40 I'm 49 I would have that just kidding nice good for 49 45 oh you're 45 my math is I would have thought you guys were like you a 22y old and 20-y old y yeah awesome yeah so um you can either have kids late and enjoy your 20s 30s and 40s but I feel like you're kind of dumb in your 20s like just like you don't you don't understand life yet you might as well have kids and and you usually don't make as much money in your 20s either to do too many things yeah you're not going to travel you're not going to have fun in the lucky ones might but yeah yeah so you might as well have kids get that over with so good job I think the older it gets the harder it gets to make the decision to actually Happ I think so I think you kind of get set in your ways a little bit and it gets easier to like I don't know I think we blindly did it in a way like I always knew that's what I wanted for sure the only thing I knew for sure I wanted was I wanted to meet the man in my dreams and then I wanted to have children with him that's the only thing I knew for sure that's still the only thing I know for sure yeah you know aw but then they grow up and then you're like wait now what now what am I going to do like I those are the only things I knew for sure now I get and I kind of mentioned this but you know before we started like I get I get to be a little creative with my life now and decide where you know what do I want to do with my life what's going to make me happy or what's going to make me some money if that's what I want to do or what you know plenty of time to do whatever you want which I think is cool you're still really young I mean you got another 45 50 years to do what want I mean my grandpa's going to be 99 my on my dad's side or my mom's side and my grandma turns 96 on my uh on my well other side so I think I'm going to live like forever well here's a question for you go go ahead B so obviously like your initial purpose in life was I want to get married I want to be a mom and you did that and you found you know like partner and you fulfilled that when you know that that was 10 years of your first life where was the beginning of that end of that first life well that beginning of the end it started with so that's why I was going to say question I kind of lead to that because she pushed me well first of all I always tell people like she requires that I'm a good man like she it's like I I have this blessing that she requires me to be a I need to be the best version of myself for her yeah which is great because for you well and for me because that's the kind of person I want to be with I want to be with that person that like you know believes in himself and also makes it okay like I was working construction I was estimating I was topped out at my job they told me I couldn't go any further because I didn't have a degree even though I was managing people that were making far more than me because they had a degree yeah and uh we were building a house we met and actually were refinancing our house and one of our friends who was doing the loan said you should really just build one yeah and because at the time you could do anything you wanted it was stated income this is what year 200 2005 five yeah it's the wild west out there for 500 B yeah he worked for uh he was the preferred lender for Desert Point Builders which and uh so we're like okay let's do it so Ryan pool listed her house we built a home at Desert point and during the process she was like this is so fun I want to sell houses cuz I was like stay at home mom at the time and I'm like I kind of want to do something and I was watching the process of building a home and I'm like that looks so fun I can totally do that how do I do that so then found out like you know you just you need a real estate license you need a little bit of training you can do it and I'm like I can totally do this yeah so that's what I did they hired pretty much a team of her women that look like her that was women that look like they were kind of the party Builder yeah so that being that and I remember the owner was like well if you work with us you're going to party with us and they went to Lake havu and they had went on the big the big boo Cruise in Mexico but they like invited everyone the subcontractors came everyone came it was a family it was really fun and so uh those were the days we had gone to a jazz game and that's when I started drinking and that's when the ship started to tip I swear real estate and alcohol go hand in hand I never drink champagne until I went to real estate go to a board of real event at 10:00 a.m. they bar flying to the bar I was so confused I was like you want me to drink champagne no yeah that's funny you're right they do go hand in hand so she took her garments off I remember and I was like huh that's way sexier well and also you know the Builder led to a lot of partying and and that and so I was like cool I've this was my previous life I can just sort of Fall by right back into that and uh we were with some friends at all work for the build well she told me after sorry I skipped that part she told me after about a month she goes you know you're really the salesperson you should do this so I took like I can sell a house but I mean the market was awesome back then I'm like I'm crushing it you're an actual sales guy you would totally like you'd kill it you got to get out of roofing you have to do this I I've done enough I've sold enough now that we can take a break from your income just come do it so cool that you believed in him and told him that I've never had that from a partner yeah you know Betty and I have that for each other now but um that's actually rare and so for our listeners to kind of just recap what what you just said you said hey Ben I love you and I believe in you and you would be amazing at this you should go do this m that's actually really cool I took a two we vacation and just crushed through the real estate licensing got my license and was like I'm out if you guys aren't going to pay me what I'm worth I'm out w it was it was fun to work together and at the time it was just like you said 2006 was just it was a blast and we were living like that money was never going to go away like We Were Young this is the first time we made we went to we went to veg We Were Young luckily this happened when we were a little younger so that we could realize how old were you at the time that 2005 would have been I was probably years I was 27 when I started in real estate okay and I did it for about four or five years and then until he became the sales manager of the company and I'm like you know what our kids are little I'm gonna take a little bit of a break and hang out with the kids yeah that's awesome well and the market tanked we were on a vacation my house in 2007 yeah when it was crushing we were on a trip in Vegas and I remember going to XS when it was EXs first opened mhm and we were just Utah needs a club like this and we're going to be the ones to bring it to Utah that's cool and so our friend Johnny Richie he used to be the MC for for the um Mike stams was it UFC fights it wasn't UFC it was Mike stams ultimate combat challenge I think it was called okay he was thec before UFC before well yeah it might have been yeah um and he's like we there's I know this building that's available 14,000 F foot Mega Club you guys should I can hook you up any anyone from Utah that's listening that remembers back in the day the bay or the vortex this was Club the but ours was called Club Bliss the hotel was down the street but same era yeah we were we were Club Bliss so three married couples decided to mortgage our houses uh well second second mortgage our houses and open a nightclub cuz we were going to crush it I remember running a performing going if we just get 300 people and everybody buys one drink we're going to be killing it yeah and uh we actually did most the build out ourselves we would go there after work bring the kids we had the kids there little kids yes in the in the front room old are they three four or five at this point and all of all three couples had little kids so we'd like make a little space for them to play while we were like painting and tearing stuff out and that's awesome we worked our butts off on this massive building it was like a three-month remodel yeah 15 years too soon yeah exactly and then we did a 15,000 feet too big yeah well that was a hard part it's like how do you make a 14,000 ft Mega Club it was three levels yeah so we would have to to like fill the main floor and then allow the second floor to open which was the Mega part with the twostory with the glass booth and it was at the time though when Realtors were Crush so they would come spend money and we' had the fights on Saturday night we had the Jazz you know the Utah Jazz used to come hang out it was going off for a minute it was it was it was fun that we were like the club Owners and we could she had an open Bart tab for three years I pretty much stressed out anded ran around everything and with my other two partners and uh and then I remember we it was it was just we couldn't believe how much money we were spending on overhead and what we didn't realize was the legality of trying to operate in iclub in Utah with the dabc and their rules and so freaking they do not want like they're looking for well they didn't reason to shut you down that building was always a problem the protocol could get they could do anything having a liquor license in Utah is extremely difficult that's why you see the rebranding of clubs all the time because they get like one Age kid in there or something stupid and they're like you're done well we got a we got a violation one time for two people that appeared to be intoxicated that were sitting down drinking water what and they like you appeared to be intoxicated in a club they wanted to pull our liquor license for a month and we're like so we're just going to send our staff home for a month and say chill till we're ready to open back up yeah so we had booked um Tommy Lee and DJ Arrow MH that was like our big last hurah and uh I remember that night just like this is it we may as well have fun so we just had a blast with Tommy Lee and DJ arrow and that was the end of our club and then we kind of were friends with the owners of the B of uh Hotel the hotel and and lumpies and we sort of decided to partner up and kind of let them take over and they created the peer pound Group which was going to be all those clubs open The Sandbar so I kind of helped with that but right around that time is when we got divorced right after the nightclubs so you guys ran a nightclub actually do you guys know um oh jeez I just forgot his name he ran the nightclub in Atlanta where um the Baltimore Ravens linebacker who I'm spacing on his name stabbed a guy and that's why they got shut down um Lee what's his I'm not anyways there's an influencer who's a big influencer in real estate training right now um he owned the nightclub I actually met him in Vegas and he Ray Lewis uh back like what it 15 years ago was um basically in a murder we don't no one knows but it happened at his night clip so he's making huge amount of money had all the stars all the Hollywood stars football stars at his nightclub and um all a sudden this murder happens and he loses it D like just goes dead no one comes to his nightclub anymore so it's just like that fast all of a sudden your nightclubs we almost had a murder on our opening night was oh Us in um downtown at Bliss they the previous owners threatened us on the street they hired somebody who we won't mention now but who's actually a friend of ours now who didn't know us back then was hired to go he had a bag of guns across the street from us they were trying to get some some stuff Italian leather chairs that were up in our office they wanted them they just really wanted to mess up art it was a soft opening with DJ scribble they just kind of wanted to throw it off but luckily one of our um good friends who is a realtor who's a broker and we were young in the business right back then he knew who that guy was and he went across the street and had a conversation with him and was like hey these are my kids basically yeah take your take your stuff get out of here we'll handle this not tonight not like this and he he's like I had no idea what was going on outside this is downtown Salt Lake City I was like oh my God standing right in front of the in that intersection just like oh this is this is going to get badz Cafe m is there now Cafe m m is yeah anyway it was wild so hold on someone paid someone to what shoot up the building or just threaten us scare that they going to cause they basically said listen you're going to shut down and give us what we want we can do this the easy way or the hard way is what was said wow and so I was like what what does that mean yeah you feel like Salt Lake City was kind of like the Wild Wild West for a while now now we're actually turning into like a real we're growing up I think so yeah I think so really growing up with all the people that are moving here with all the new restaurants the new bar like you know all of the real estate downtown every downtown's a whole different place than it was back then it was like a monopoly back then yep and if you didn't box you're going to get run out of town yeah we were so naive we had no idea we didn't realize the cost in legal fees to run a nightclub and it just put us under oh wow and so yep then we that yeah then we got divorced yeah so let's jump into that and this is kind of an really unique story because you guys are married again yeah so you got married again now 11 years the first time we made it 11 yep so you made it 11 years you got into real estate had had two kids open a nightclub and then what tell our listeners a little bit about well imagine what div really quick well I mean there's a lot of things but 2007 we shut our nightclub down the Builder went out of business so we both worked for the Builder we owned the nightclub every all of our income professional life just stopped geez so on top of that there was you know other stress it was just the stress of that but that isn't why we got divorced I mean we can make it through being broke we you know we started out broke it wasn't that yeah no no basically and I um this part is kind of interesting because so um ultimately living like a 20-year-old life that never really lived and then I owned a night club I got caught up into I'm making money now I'm getting attention and I ended up cheating on him oh wow and it was so crazy because um it's the hardest feeling once you like realize what you did like I had everything and the only reason I it's gone and it's ruined is because of me yeah and then you know I did a lot of therapy and stuff to figure out why cuz I'm like I'm not a cheater that's not who I am but why did I do the things that I did um because I was broken I was broken hearted I broke his heart and um so anyway not to make like any excuses or anything for it but like just kind of make it just understanding it you know my dad he he raised us Mormon and um he ends up cheating on my mom when I was in high school and I think it was a sub I mean through the therapy and thinking this out I think part of it was a big subconscious act out I guess because I thought I watched how hurt my mom got you know from going through that and my mom didn't do anything to deserve that yeah and I just looked at her and I went through it with her and I moved away to college because I was like I'm going to move down to suu I can't be around this this is so sad it's heartbreaking you know I love my dad he just made some bad decisions whatever but um I can't watch my mom hurt like this so I move out and um anyway I think that subconsciously I really thought like if my dad could do that any man could do that to me any any man so then I meet Ben and not thinking that he's for sure going to do that to me like he's a great guy obviously marry him but I think you know seeing his dad this like you know uh this biker guy tattooed head to toe this bad boy I'm like that's who raised you you would probably be the type of guy that CU he would probably be the type of guy that he obviously has he's been married seven times like you might do that to me too so if that ever happens to me at least if I did something to deserve it I'm not going to hurt hurt like my mom hurt oh wow like it'll hurt but it's not going to hurt the same way cuz I kind of deserve it well but there was also stuff that we got out through therapy where she didn't feel deserving of how I treated yeah I didn't feel like I ever deserved him interesting can I ask personal question so I've seen this a lot with Mormons who either didn't have sex before marriage or maybe just very little you know very little dating very little sex um and I've actually been appro I actually got hit on and and some girl tried to have me cheat with her have an affair with her and we didn't and I freaked out I just it kind of blew my mind but she got very pretty and started getting a ton of attention in her 30s her early 30s and she didn't know how to handle it and she loved it and I still remember it was really interesting I I thought we were going on a real estate appointment and all of a sudden she her on my leg and I'm like oh [ __ ] like oblivious Sam just thinks we're like buddies yeah and she I'm like where's your husband she's like did you say where's your husband she yeah I go where are your kids she's like oh had my mom come get them I'm like oh cool where's your husband oh he's a nurse he's working the night shift and I'm like so we're here alone and then her hands on my leg and I'm like oh [ __ ] this is you're at a house her house I thought we were talking about investment properties he comes in with his like iPad I'm like trying to talk Investments like some nerd and she's like you idiot trying to have sex with you and so I left actually it was funny I didn't know what to do I'm like Oh my back and I like laid down on my stomach and I'm like so here's the [ __ ] that I was trying to tell you on the iPad and like and okay I gotta go by but um and I watched her and and I've seen it with a few different ladies in the different real estate offices I've been in they kind of glow uph and either they handle the attention really well um or maybe they don't so I'm I'm just curious and you don't have to answer this but was that part of it at all cuz you're very pretty lady thank you um I no absolutely I through some of the therapy I did in fact part of it was part of the stuff that this particular therapist worked with was sex addiction so I'm like am I a sex addict and she's like they did these um they did these things on your brain like test on your brain like 400 questions of all this stuff and cuz I'm like I literally need to know this about myself because whatever relationship I get into and at the time I think we were working on getting back together right I I needed to make sure I knew why I did it so I didn't ever repeat it yeah cuz I'm like I don't really get why I did it he never did anything to make me like want to do that other than life gets a little boring and that seemed exciting but that's life if you own a nightclub it can get a little boring well after the nightclub it was a little boring well that's kind of my point all of a sudden you're this L life yeah like things are crazy you got the nightclub and then it was in from from my view watching because then what happened is I managed Park City live for a friend yeah while I was selling radio when Real Estate went bad and all the time I'd be security be like your ex-wife's here with you know and she'd show up with with guys she was best friends with the owner yeah and I'd be like okay cool and we were we were great divorced we were like we loved each other still it wasn't like a toxic right before she didn't want to get divorced she was like just let me get this out of my system we'll be fine and I was like nah like this marriage has to be over for me like this part has to be over yeah you were like if we ever get married again it has to be fresh and new but like to get back to your question really quick um the therapist did tell me she goes you're not a sex addict but you are addicted to the attention and she was so right like I would like I I thrived off the attention I was like middle of six kids growing up kind of got lost in the mess and like so when um I remember I kind of had my first little glow up between eth and Ninth Grade like yeah lost the glasses straighten my hair like got attention from boys and then I realized oh I can get attention and it was from men yeah and so I think it started then that I realized and then it just kind of progressed after that as I got older and I'm like well this is where I can get attention and it just it became like almost like addictive it's addictive to people yeah my one girl I dated after I got divorced was absolutely addicted to it to the attention absolutely and it was to the point where like I was the Instagram boyfriend taking 15 pictures a day because the and the the messages she would get and she'd complain about them but I'm like watching her like she [ __ ] loves it loved the attention yeah or thirst trap trap trap trap we learn all these things from our kids now we started going through therapy because but also during divorce we were still loved each other we were great friends like she had um her brother go through through some really difficult things and she would call me at 3: in the morning and I would show up you know like you know just like we were very close we great we go shopping for the kids for Christmas and we honestly hooked up the whole time that we were the worst like you know but until I got a boyfriend and then I was like okay I got to prove to myself I'm a loyal person he was like what the [ __ ] are you [ __ ] kidding me right now you're not like I had a boyfriend for 3 months and he was like oh we can't hook up anymore I'm like no I have a boyfriend he's like what the [ __ ] but she was also like in the very beginning just just almost like living out that I'm not that pre-programmed I'm not worthy PE like being so self-destructive there something it was probably missing in your life that you're like this is why you were seeking ABS seeking something that you were missing absolutely and I remember the day I I remember it so clearly I was 33 years old we had just barely started talking about getting back together and I remember thinking I'm not the bad choices I've made I'm a good person and I know this and I deserve somebody good I hope it's him but if it's not him it's going to be somebody good that comes into my life because that's what I deserve that's great cuz she was dating guys I always put her here like yeah you know I I married my dream woman I woke up I I felt bad for guys that were married that would be like look at that girl look at that cuz I'm like I wake up every day and I'm like damn I still have this one yeah nice and so I always put her on this level and I was like these guys you're talking to are dating they don't even it they don't even deserve to have the conversation with you but it was this self-destructive thing and so for her to get to a place where she's like it almost was so necessary and I had someone we had some a couple over one time some a few friends over one time this girl she kind of asked me she goes hey how could you ever forgive her and I was like you don't understand it's like it's easy for people to say like if you cheated on me I would never right I would never like that's the worst thing you know whatever but also she we talk about it sometimes and she's like I don't even know who that person was and I don't either because she's a different person and and I told this girl I said you know what if I could go back in time and take all that away I wouldn't because now we are so much stronger and so much a better place than we would had we not had the that if you go through hell together and you make it out of hell together yeah you can do anything I love that you know Betty and I met I wouldn't wish it on anyone but in Hell met we broken up three times actually a trauma bun yeah we said that in our therapist was like it's not a trauma Bond a trauma Bond lot of trauma so you're on the right track yeah but she corrected us she's like trauma bond is when like you're so damaged that like you Bond just because of the drama but you're damaging each other but you can't get away from it she's like you guys are more like relationship makesense you were in a shitty low place she wasn't ready to date me I really liked her and then it flip-flopped and then we just have so many bad habits from previous relationships where broke up three times and then EDC we're probably going to break up again but but we didn't at EDC I actually I actually told my friend this I was like is a great guy he's got some [ __ ] to work through but I'm done so I I'm going to go to EC I'm going to see it out he's he's got some things that he needs to figure out but I'm done so and I was just angry with her and it's because he was holding on to this angry and resentment and I was like which I I didn't I wasn't mad at him for but it was like that's his his journey to work through I know who I am some people bring the shitty relationship from their prior relationship from that like actions of that person into the new one not some most people do I think without recognizing it's not like like if I'd been with someone else other than her I'd probably think be like you're going to cheat on me yeah and I wouldn't trust them with no reason not to trust them just because it happened before and there's that Trauma from it I was unapologetically like mean I was like I don't have time for you sorry to want to date yeah yeah but then wanted me there so bad and said that she loved me and wanted me to be with her if that's not a woman I don't know what would fly home from Dallas I need my space I also want you he I'd cut business trip short fly home from Dallas to go to divorce court with her to support her and she'd be like I didn't need you here and I'm like [ __ ] like like that type of roller coaster you know and then vice versa even though she appreciated it she just still wanted to be like no don't come don't I really don't need you to be here and he would just do it anyway and I was like who the freak is this guy that just keeps showing up because my whole life I was alone yeah so he showed up for me and i' and then he'd get upset because I was like didn't want him there and then she didn't know what to do with it she's like like we actually so we actually were broken up and then she went to court with her ex and I like he showed up this guy this guy like the stuff he said to Betty like I want wanted to beat the [ __ ] out of him but I wasn't going to let her go to court with this guy alone even though we had just broken up I was messing around with other girls I would have been great going by myself but then on the way there she's like yeah I had I had a nightmare that he strangled me in court I'm like that's why I'm [ __ ] here wow because I I know even even though you're saying you don't need it Betty I love you we're not together but I still love you and I there's no no one's going to stop me from going to court with you and I sat behind that dude and made him feel as intimidated as possible that he was trying to take money and custody away from this sweet little girl who's crushing it like this guy like wow anyways like I was going to be there whether she had she like there's nothing she could have done and she hadn't done much I broke up with her like you know I broke up with her and I was still going to be there for her yeah so it's interesting but that's awesome yeah there's there's um it's very interesting relationships are tough and we've gotten back together three times and and we moved in together in August cool and now we have six kids together four and two and it's crazy it's a lot it's still hard it's always hard there's a lot to figure out so what helped you guys get back together CU we had some heart tohe hearts we've been in therapy for two years now almost with a great therapist and it's still [ __ ] hard well with having I'll I'll let you tell the get together story with having kids I mean obviously we had our kids together so we were co-parenting and we were close and we loved each other and we were good good friends and and tried to be as good to each other as we could through all of it in spite of running into people that we were dating and mainly it was me running into the guys you were night club yeah but um for me it was I loved those three years because I had the best three years with my kids I had it was like Dad time yeah and I didn't know how to date in the New World like I had never used Tinder yeah this is right when the we're really aging ourselves there but right when all the dating apps came out what year was this gosh uh n n 9 10 the worst actually it's probably 201 we were on Plenty of Fish and I would always search outside her age so I didn't have to see her um he knew I'd be on there yeah no we both were yeah but we both never really dated well she she she kind of had a couple boyfriends but I was terribly dating like I had found that to me it felt like women I mean I worked I managed night Park City live and I had 22 beautiful cocktails that worked with me and were always like come party and I was like no I'm like your boss like we were both doing the Plenty of Fish thing but um I felt like there was a role reversal in men and women and maybe it was just me but like I was still stuck in like the era of when I met her of like you date someone you Court them you make them dinner and you date one Mormon at a time and when I was single that made you a serial killer like women thought and I am a little bit love a relationship person Sky old school like I would be anxious to be in a relationship let say like I meet you and be like can you just come over every day and like watch The Notebook and hang out and all these new girls are like um you're crazy you try let's bang and maybe I'll exactly most guys are dating they have their Monday girl Tuesday girl Wednesday I I couldn't do it I just couldn't do it I hated dating I hated being single neither one of us found anyone that we were like felt a future with so then it's like we always knew we just loved each other we just had this huge roadblock obviously like how do you get over somebody cheating on you that is like the and how do you build that back up because even if you build it back up like we have over the years like a lot of trust so yeah trust is the one thing if you blindly have like true trust with each other and then someone breaks it I don't believe you'll ever have 100% there'll always be like a a like a fracture in it maybe you'll get 100% of it but you'll always see that fracture like a like like you cut yourself and you have a scar but maybe it if if it heals that part is always going to be tougher than the rest of it yeah but you always know it's there it's going to be there and I think that's kind of what luckily for us you know when we got remarried in my vows I I knew my words could only mean so much so I told him I if I have to show you I will show you every single day I might not tell you every day cuz words are words but I will show you every day for the rest of my life that I am a loyal loving person who wants you in my life and I love that but but what made you guys really what was the deciding factor of okay it was just one let's do it let's get married again it was just one night I was moving out of a house and we had the had a suspended slab under the garage and I had all the bins of [ __ ] like all my 10 years of all our storage he carried around was moving it all around and I called her up and I was like halfway moved out we didn't have a couch and I was like listen I've got like your high school yearbooks I've got all your cheer [ __ ] like why don't you come go through your stuff you take your stuff so we ordered like Delta go and the kids were there and put on a movie and we had a picnic sitting on the living room floor and then we just sat out in the back patio and we talked until the sun came up and we told each other everything that we like guys that she dated that made her like like just all these we felt very vulnerable with each other in a way that like we were both hurting but we both loved each other and it was like we have these beautiful children we know we love each other is this something that is possible to get through together are we in this together or not and I'll tell you like in those moments we decided yes this is something I want to try this is something he wanted to try it took a few months to really like there was some back and forth on it cuz obviously like you get nervous you're like I don't know like in that moment that felt right but the traa I'm scared like yeah she always jokes we both we got together both times when we were broke because I was just kind of recovering from I I'd been done with a nightclub just couldn't do it anymore yeah and I was I was working mortgage lending okay at the time and uh was started doing really well again and and that's when we started dating and I got my I had roommates up until then and I got my own town home and I was like I remember going and buying a TV and being like hell yeah this is where it's at myi TV by myself flat screen or was it like no it was it was the Triangle thing flat screen the flat screen yeah we're we're up we're moving on time times cellones now we nice and uh um then we started dating and I kind of slowly started moving stuff in moved in and then I mean you guys never stopped hooking up so only the three months they had the boyfriend here which was actually like super fun cuz I'd call her and be like do you want to come over to my place and she's like yeah yeah it actually made it so hot after being married for 11 years being in the church like having kids all the mundane like life stuff and then to like divorced and have it be like naughty again but yet it was with somebody I was married to it was so hot who knows you and can it was so hot probably the hottest sex we ever had sorry kids if you ever listened to this now so after we had dinner and everything we were talking about like is this possible we still love each other so much and um we got in the car and we were driving with the kids and they were like I don't know like 9 and 11 years old or something they were young and I remember this moment we just had music on we were driving down the street and I looked at him and I looked in the back seat at my two kids and I had this thought I don't care what it takes I'm putting my family back together this is all I want what's in this little Honda C or whever we were driving at the time all I want in this life is this and I don't care what it takes I love that I heard a comedian say something similar and this is why I never cheated he was sitting on the bed with his wife and his kids and he was like I will never [ __ ] this up it was a very clear moment almost like one of those defining moments in life where I can recall it like I can see every detail and I just knew I'm like I know this isn't going to be easy but I know this is the only thing that matters I remember we actually said we're going to have to clean house and make those phone calls to like Hey we're not going to be able to hang out you know cuz we each had people that we yeah I mean up random yeah I didn't have to make that phone call but but there were others you know that was like listen like we may have been starting something that's that's not going to happen yeah and then and it wasn't long after she moved into that town home and we were just we dated again and it and for a second time then we went we went out one night to a um Jazz game and I I just was in while we were divorced I just never felt like I was in a good enough place to even be able to be with someone I just didn't feel good about me yeah so being back together with her and then we go to this Jazz game and we were leaving and I saw a billboard for EDG homes but first we had a conversation right before we see this billboard and he was like I don't really like working for radio I mean I'm pretty good at it and I'm like well what do you want to do what would make you happy and he what and he said you know the one thing I loved doing was Selling Houses I loved it I was good at it like I I loved it and I go well why don't you go back and sell houses then like you have the rest of your life do whatever you want with it like if that makes you happy do that and no joke we walk out and there's we walk out of the Jazz game there's this massive billboard of EDG homes never heard of him at the time yeah and one of the biggest builders in Utah and um and I looked at it and I go look at there there's a home builder call them so on Monday he calls up Edge homes turns out he was like one of like 400 applicants to well and it was specifically new construction I love that's all I've ever done is new construction I love the building process I love building up taking a lot and seeing a a dirt Hill turn into a community and then a year later there's homes with Christmas trees I just love that and I love working with people and she building their dreams she gave me like not permission but the motivation and the confidence you I can go do that again and go start knowing that I'm not probably going to get a paycheck for six months months and go do it again and I called them as if when I was still in radio I called like hey you know like I seen your Billboards a lot of times people that have Billboards want radio and blah blah blah and the girl's like not interested I said but I also saw your hiring and she goes yeah so I went down met with Jed Stewart we had an interview for about 45 minutes he goes what day can you start and I started there and that was that was and then it was how long after that that we got married in Mexico our second marriage was in Mexico 2011 11 what part of Mexico no it wasn't it was 2014 okay my brother passed away it was 11-11 2014 the year before yeah yeah got it yeah yep so yeah so we built our house again again an edge house and I spent 10 years with Edge loved it it was great Builder just it was we had some of the best years of our life doing that and she stayed home with the kids again no I didn't I did hair for 10 years well yeah I didn't stay home he said something I did in the beginning though that kind of so you basically pushed him to go accept his dream like hey I love to twice I love I want to build homes this is what I love and you're like okay we're not going to have a paycheck for six months because it takes a long time to build a house right and you were like okay yeah it's your passion right right like so you I knew that happiness matters more than anything and it's like you know we can struggle through 68 months as long as you're happy doing what you love I love that then it's like that I don't know maybe it's cliche but like you'll never work a day in your life if you're doing what you love right no I love that is true well I was with a company and the sales team motto that I did not come up with was you can put up with a lot of [ __ ] for a million dollars a year yeah and my ex when I finally stopped working with that group she was really happy for me cuz it was like killing me inside there was a lot of greed a lot of dishonesty yeah and it just felt gross like I hated it I was constantly put in a spot between my clients and people I worked for yeah and um what's interesting about your story Ben is I didn't know you Connie but I knew knew who Ben was because I actually approached Steve Maddox at the gym I had heard he was the owner of edge owner of edge homes yeah and I was a newer agent and I was working out every day at 5:30 and I went up to him I said hey I cold call A lot can I bring you a land deal can you like tell me like so I don't waste your time what you're looking for and he's like hey come start working out with me for the next six years I worked out every day with Steve MX wow and buo and you know met all his sons and um he gave me opportunities I would have never had and so I heard who Ben Daniels was from the get-go like oh number one agent number one agent every single year number one so hats off to you for taking an opportunity and hats off to you for empowering your husband to be able to do that because there's not a lot of people and and I try to find a theme in in my podcast every time I I do something with Deb it was love more judge less yeah with Betty's podcast a couple days ago is be like Grandpa Bob who was her adopted Grandpa who gave selflessly to her and her mom and and her brothers and um you know I jealous of the empowerment that you got from your wife well she supported me and everything I did even when I left Edge which you know it just I just that was a big move to leave Ed after being number one for 10 like 10 years most of those years you were number one yeah I remember it was yeah but then he's like I'm going to go do this crypto thing and I was like oh [ __ ] here we go but also like I just believe in him he's like he whatever you do you put everything into it you put your heart and soul into it and I just I trust it and um and I I also know that like even if things don't work out we're going to be fine I always know that like we can live without money for some point in time you know what the one of the number one reasons for divorces yeah well 70% of divorces are filed by women MH just over 70 and one of the number one reason they give is financial hardship cuz that's hard that's ton of stress hard it's cuz women want security and that that's one of the number one needs of of women especially stay at home moms stability stability and security safety safy and don't get me wrong that is my number one too but yeah but it also takes a different confident uh person who has vision and love for the other person to empower them and say hey if we fall on hard times I got your back yeah and again jealous congratulations hats off to you guys for having I remember telling her like I'm going to go be a crypto investor now instead of sticking with something that's been working for 10 years yeah because I burned out burned out just burned out I was ready for a change and you know and when I started there was eight agents and when you know there was 38 it just you know it just it got chaotic it just got chaotic it didn't didn't still I still would say I just the best builder in the state aside from the one I work for now they're a great Builder they're amazing I love I love they're like my family you know what's interesting is their quality suffered they grew so damn fast that's the my ex-mother-in-law um built with them in Heber yeah and I was like so I'm working out every day with Steve and I'm hearing about these problem clients it's my [ __ ] mother-in-law and I'm not even telling him and it was Edge's fault and so I'm watching this unfold and guess what Edge said we're going to double down on quality we're going to go fix that [ __ ] and meanwhile other builders who I cannot stand I won't mention their name Salisbury and ivory and um no but there's for real there's other builders that Lit like I built a million-dollar house with a builder my final walkth through they were just like tough [ __ ] yeah that doesn't look right Edge Edge from the start was always about and what I loved about Steve because Steve and I were really close he would come in to the sales meetings and he would talk to us as if we were part of the corporate team and he would tell us some of the challenges so we would understand like oh this is why you made this decision that we hate or this is why you did this and when you're a builder that's Building 250 to 300 homes a year you can have one framer you can have one excavator when you're building 2200 homes a year now you've got to somehow manage serious five painters and maintain that same quality through five painters it's an incredible challenge I remember how hard the growing pains were and for them to they spent a lot of time um not just bringing on new subcontractors but help helping the current contractors and subcontractors that they had grow with them because they were like we need to motivate you to grow with us because we want to take you with us and that was huge and I think Edge was one of the only Majors to be able to maintain that I mean it slipped for a minute but it didn't take long for them exactly they doubled down and it got way better so do you remember the how the final walkthrough process changed it went from Blue tape everywhere to there's actually nothing to fix I dare you to find something perfect yeah yep I feel like that's the Builder that we have that we work for now Hillwood well let's talk about that a little bit Hillwood homes is like with both of us working for multiple Builders I'd have to say like this is this is definitely one of my favorite people and the same way it kind of came around I was you know I'd made this change into like I'm going to be this investor and I'm going to invest in crypto which is so volatile and so crazy yeah and it would be great and then it'd be terrible and it'd be great and it' be terrible and so I is having lunch again with Justin basso and he goes man I really wish you'd just get back into real estate and I was like you know what I actually want to he goes are you interested in running a home Builder building a sales team running sales and marketing for this home builder have this great company they're they've actually been in construct you know building for four years but they don't have a big sales presence they've been they've been focusing four years on build the building process and quality and they build they weren't just a small time Builder they're building three three4 million homes up in Heber they're building at Red Ledges they're building in Park City they're building in um in Highland and Spanish Fork so they've got five communities and two sales two sales people with no sales manager and and that's just what they needed and I was like that's exact I would love to do that they had one agent that worked for him at the time and it was just some guy in his Ward and he has all this like um all of this like Supply with like nobody nobody to sell it you know ex this one guy they were right in the middle of just really opening up going from two communities to six and it just like how do you go from there to there without somebody that and it just happened that I have the network of people that I could just come right in and bring in my processes that have worked for me for for 20 years in real estate and so I met I was like okay what's this guy going to be like and I met the owner and he the team is just he is just the nicest most genuine like to work for someone that you know cares so much about their one their clients and their employees um I remember him calling me a month one month in so I I had I had six names of people that I wanted to hire and bring on the team every one of them said yes that's awesome I was like oh yeah one of them was my wife yeah Sabrina Martinez who you probably know my brother-in-law Troy Noble Adam clavo who was um her partner at Red Ledges no red sage in Sandy we sold the project red sage um Amber sales who was a broker she's the broker for community and then the owner son Braxton Turner who just knows everything about the company in construction so everybody came on everyone brought a different talent and like a different like Vision to it and like all together as a team like it's a small team but like it's been awesome and to work for somebody who values your opinion and your vision and they put those things into play into their company like they're just like they're small enough that like it matters but big enough that like we can sell for the next like who knows how many years and they'll keep growing we've got and he and he wants they want to stay at that size they're not looking to build 2,000 homes a year they want to stay at that size where they can maintain quality and not have that challenge of 200 three four 500 a year yep three4 what's nice though is that you watched Edge growing pains and you can probably help them avoid lot of the pitfalls that you learned at Edge and and again I want to I kind of told a little bit of negative story about Edge like my mother-in-law built with them and was a rough situation but Steve stepped up and he fixed everything yeah and they double down on quality and and it's become and I've sold I was actually the number two outside sales agent for Edge like three years in a row wow that's awesome and it's because I watched that and I had a lot of confidence and I said you know what I will push Edge over every other builder in the state of Utah because quality well and I called so you know we're having this discussion now about what's happening with Buyer Agents and the real commission changes and so I called Edge and one of my contacts there my old friends and maybe I won't name who just just keep just in case but uh and said hey we're having this discussion and and I know my view as the director of sales for Hillwood what I want to do and I don't want to change anything yeah I want to I want to support the Realtors I want to support Buyer Agents I want to we're going to pay full 3% we're not going to change what is it Edge is going to do and they said that's exactly what we're going to do and so I think the builders that do that are going to thrive just like they during 2020 during Co we were crushing it from our basement having yeah less than 10 people over House Ed had the opportunity yeah there's other builders that did when it was going crazy they cut back buyer agent commissions to save money and the Agents don't forget they don't forget that when you didn't need us you threw us away and and the problem is is as a buyer agent as a realtor a nothing's guaranteed your commission your your your income is not guaranteed you work your ass off for months and months and months for clients who don't end up buying a home then you do sell a home to someone and it's months and months of work with them and so I think what Edge understands and what you understand and Hillwood understands is a really good buyer agent is vital to the process absolutely for sure a really good listing agent uh Builder agent is vital to the process the bad yeah they need to not be so I'm excited for the changes the industry is seeing well and I've always looked at it like you're paid for procuring costs you bring the buyer to us that's essentially what you're paid for yeah and it can be a little bit weird for agents that do both types of business because you feel a little bit left out sometimes when you sell to a builder it's almost like I brought you my buyer then you just took over and are doing everything yeah you know Edge allowed the the buyer agent to be involved at whatever level they want to Hillwood we're doing the same thing but also at those times times when something goes wrong because it's new construction and something is going to go wrong and I always tell people I said something's going to go wrong yeah something's going to break something's not going to be done right something's going to be missed but just know we're going to take care of it yeah the buyer agent is so a good one will help that situation not make it worse exactly and and I've had Buyer Agents save deals that would have completely blown up because they would have been like oh my gosh this is the end of the world and make it into a bigger deal make it a bigger deal than it is half of our job is talking people off the ledge remember this yeah this is your dream let's not throw away your dream because the paint was wrong let's fix the paint and you can still move into your dream home that's right how do you think I talked him into remarrying me talked him right off the ledge talked him off the ledge so I'm really excited for Hillwood Holmes and um excited for you guys and this opportunity the market is crazy right now interest rates are High um bety and I toured your guys's uh model in Highland beautiful model and you know I've been a realtor since 2011 I do not push a lot of Builders I've seen stuff from every Builder and there's like three builders that I'll actually promote you know if my clients choose a random Builder that I think is decent okay that's fine but if it's my choice you know it's Edge it's a couple other homes it's Hillwood homes um so I'm excited for you guys to have put together what You' put together um I know Betty and I will be pushing to our clients Betty you really like liked the model a lot and actually Betty was talking about going back she's like we didn't get enough content we didn't get enough good shots we were talking to you the whole time so come up to Park City see Park City I like to see the product I like to like yeah I don't know I'm weird I'm like the the black lights the matte black the the quartz countertops the details like the details there's quite a few black homes up in Silver Creek Village up in Park City that's just a little bit different one one really cool thing about um Park City too Silver Creek Village is it is approved for nightly rentals so if you have any investors I know there's not a ton of I mean there's little areas that you can rent nightly but you can in Silver Creek Village I always get clients every year that want a second home in Utah yep that just want to offset that payment with nightly rentals or R you know renting it out when they're not there and I kind of think I don't know I mean tell me your thoughts on this as this if it happens you know because in July everything's supposed to change where Buyer Agents have to get listing agreements up front and appreciate their commissions do you feel that a lot of Buyer Agents are going to push gravitate towards Builders because they know they're the ones that are going to take care of them yeah where they don't have to worry about that so much I think they will follow the money that's why we do what we do essentially process so if I have a buyer absolutely I'm going to take him to Hillwood and Edge because I know right off the bat first of all they're going to respect me as a human being as a buyer agent and not just try to get rid of me yeah and also I know they're going to have a good my clients are going to have a good process with you guys and so absolutely I think agents that know they're going to get paid if they bring you a buyer I mean there's Builders out there that actually knowingly break the law and they say unless you accompany your buyer the first visit we do not pay you a commission which is illegal I don't know how they get away with it it's illegal to say that and do that but they do it because they know we're why why they they're trying to saving money money so I think you guys will do great which doesn't make sense because most companies you know as a listing agent you already like you've you've already contract like you've already discussed that commission they already know they're paying it yeah so it's it's just all about verbiage like I think the issue is not necessarily oh as a buyer's agent I'm not going to make money it's it's how we talk about it commiss breath there's a lot of people that there's probably agents that misrepresented how they were going to get paid and that's why we're having this huge crisis in like commission but like the people that are going to be fine are like commission commission is always discussed up front it's like hey how do you get paid well here's the process and the more honest and open you are about it you're going to be fine I have thrived as a buyer agent I've never had an issue but that commission is talked about like right at the front like hey I don't get paid until you close on your home this is how that's factored in and for a long time I think people have gotten away with like saying oh you don't have to pay me like not you don't there's a lot of newer agents and also less skilled or or honest agents that are going to be in trouble yeah I know a sales trainer I just talked to he has 70s something agents and he's freaking out he's like Sam a lot of these guys cannot articulate why they should be paid a commission by their buyer and they're going to be in trouble or they were the discount agent that was like I'll sell your home for free if you let me do this yeah it's like homie the billboard you know save the commission's done right they I mean they they were bleeding money I don't even know are they done I heard that they were not just just I someone had said something that they were maybe shutting it down they they were struggling for a long time I mean there's been a million discount brokerages though you pay what get what you pay you go back to my you ever go to Ser the service department at Porsche yeah it's not like going to Honda no well and it goes back to like you know I have multiple examples like I just sold a house where their previous agent told them to file for bankruptcy cuz they had leans they couldn't sell it I called them they were't expired can you imagine telling someone to go file for bankruptcy they were they were signing the papers that week and I met with them and I was like wait I can sell your house I promise do not file cuz I mean that's Financial life over they they're in their 60s bankruptcy in your 60s that's rough yeah and and anyways I sold their house I worked my ass up I got their leans reduced to the point where instead of they were negative like 40,000 at the closing table wow they would have had to write a check for 40 Grand instead they walked away with 10 grand didn't file bankruptcy and that was because the leans I negotiated just the house was it only liability well they had they had 150,000 leens of medical debt solar all this you did all that just as a good agent and but but I did that because I was like and I was prepared to give him my commission because like I can't let these people file bankruptcy yeah over 105 because we got to the point where they were like still at 20,000 like that that we could not get rid of and somehow we got rid of it and they walked away so the difference between the agent that told them go file bankruptcy you're hosed for Life yeah life's over to what them at the closing table getting a $110,000 check gosh that's that's the difference between the agents that are going to be fine in July Y and the Agents that are like well guess I'm finding a new career yeah I love abely and I think a lot of smart agents again that's why is excited to promote Hillwood and what you guys are doing um they need to know about Hillwood because there's builders that I will absolutely not promote because they're going to be trying to cut out the agents Y and we work our asses off for a money and we take care of our clients right it was cool when we reconnected because I I tell my son all the time and um I said you know what I I may not be the smartest person but my network my network is worth so much to me I mean the people you meet you never know who you meet in some situation and if I kind of always had we talk a lot about like we want to go through life and hope that every encounter we have with someone that they leave feeling better about awesome you know what I mean and and and we met years ago and we were when you pulled up in your hell Hellcat like this guy drives a purple Hellcat that's super dope and I'm so in white camaro I had the Matt black Camaro but I had the white trackhawk and so oh White trackhawk and the Camaro so we were we got talking cars and you were you used a different edent age a different Edge agent which is is fine um CU I worked out with them for six years but in the Loy and then we reconnected at a party and I'm like these and then just you know Justin Bassel like I've known him for 20 years and to have these and so our kidss have had such a great go all the things we've gone through in our life they've been through it with us even the divorce and all of it and the going through making money and losing money and getting it back and you know having these struggles it's just I'm glad we had kids young because of that because they got to see us go through so much of Life AES and they realize that no matter what happens in life no matter how hard it gets it can get better you're never stuck you're never stuck in a phase it might feel like it it might feel like it takes forever to get out of it but I think that one thing we've shown our kids is if you fight for something you can have it and you just can't give up I love that I love that guys this has been an amazing podcast and just a recap really quick I've learned so much from you guys today um one of my big takeaways was empowering your partner so Connie great job um my other takeaway was setting your alcohol down and quitting drinking for 5 years for the right person and the right reason um loyalty and and love really does conquer all so congratulations for you guys being remarried and next year is 10 years this year November 1111 November 111 10 years remarried um thank you so much yeah thank you we appreciate you guys this has been awesome and um good luck at Hillwood hommes thank you uh for our listeners I'm sure we'll see you yeah go check out their communities Park City Spanish Fork Highland where else Alpine uh Spanish Fork Highland Park City Heber Midway and then we have West Jordan coming in June West Jordan coming in June West Jordan see that one high six is quarter Acres quarter Acres West great spot and we're looking for new we're always looking for more land so we're we're looking to grow awesome I'll connect you guys with someone I know that's looking at some land deals right now he's in my office