Loren Gray SPILLS on working with Taylor Swift, fame, & mental health: Lilahbility | EP 6

hi lla hi stsy hi guys hi Lauren hi Lauren welcome back to the liability podcast today we have a very very special guest one of our dear friends Lauren icon a legend the it girl I mean invented Tik Tok basically oh my God invented social media at this point welcome how are you great it's like 300 p.m. guys honestly let us drink our wine and live it's great it is it is not even it is 12 I know I think it's literally 12:30 I was just get you know what I mean the party has started but it's you can't say it's morning anymore so therefore if it's not 11:30 like work I the clocks went back it's 5 o'cl somewhere La time and they continue to go back yeah exactly thank you God so we have so much to talk about this episode I'm literally so excited cuz I personally like I feel like I've known you like closely like for the last few years but you've been on social media what since you were what uh 13 girl which is crazy cuz you're girl how are you still alive at this honestly it's been Survivor yes I survived I'm like 5 six years and I don't know what's harder transitioning or just like being online yeah or just like yeah surviving especially in this well it's crazy cuz you're from like uh where like potown yeah Pennsylvania Pennsylvania I grew up in New Jersey yes we discovered this the other night we we like have a very similar upbringing I feel like from like that side of the world um what can you remember your life was like before you were like famous before you were an icon you were an icon correct just wanted to clarify U no it was very normal I don't know I I have great parents and I I was doing you know normal things Sports um cheerleading I definitely had like a little uh stint with like bullying and you know in fifth grade I left school learned how to do my makeup went back stunt and that so you transition is what you're saying basically like she put on that Lily lash she said hi and that's exactly what happened you two days exactly I was like um yeah I was I was bullied cuz everyone was afraid of me cuz I was so blonde it's always the tall hot [ __ ] that get bullied see this is what I hate about the damn East Coast they glorify the short little little Italian girls but the tall stallion model model baddies they [ __ ] on I was [ __ ] on so [ __ ] much for being tall and skinny like when was that a crime yeah it and I was so jealous of like I was so jealous of the short girls cuz also like guys don't grow right away and I just felt so awkward I did I always did you had big dick energy to everybody else just could not relate always did you have a boyfriend like when you were in your teenage years um I'm like in middle school I guess you didn't have like a normal high school boyfriend huh no no I had like I mean I had like Elementary School boyfriends like multiple always so this is crazy like thaning about cuz I'm almost relating it to the fact that like so do you feel like you were living a double life um at certain points because you were doing social media kind of not really because like I I grew up in social media so that just became like my normal cuz I never went to high school I left school in eighth grade I graduated out I like got my gud graduated out and then like this became my like it was never shocking to me because it was always my social okay Circle when was and what was it like the first video that ever you were like oh oh there wasn't there wasn't one that did that I I guess I was like I was uploading to musically before it was Tik Tok and I never got into musically either like was that before Vine I didn't mean to yeah it was right after Vine in between Vine and Tik Tok it was because Tik Tok got bought by a Chinese company then they became Tik Tok right right right okay more you know before that it was musically and I think it was owned by I think he was German yeah you know the owner loves you he was a really he was a really nice guy but he um he's a really nice guy I spoke on a panel with him once and he was great but oh geez um but uh yeah I was just uploading videos to musically but I didn't know I was uploading them because I was saving them to my camera roll to post on my Instagram right and they were being uploaded and going viral and you had no idea I didn't know it was a platform like I was not into social media I didn't know about YouTubers or anything like that I think I watched PewDiePie maybe but like I didn't know it was a career for these people I just thought they were having fun you became an overnight sensation by accident is what you're saying well I started getting all these follow requests on my like private Middle School Instagram and I didn't know where they were coming from and then I was at a sleepover and my friend was like you have 30,000 followers on musically and I had no idea and that's when I was like know they were all so gag I [ __ ] hate you [ __ ] are you kidding you're like yeah just my bad but I was I was embarrassed also because it wasn't cool like it took a long time for Tik Tok like making your quirky little like is that the slow motion fasting yes I got even wearing makeup back in the day was like not I was a meme it was like 13-year-olds then versus 13year olds now and it was like a viral meme of me cuz I wore makeup like there was I don't understand that that's what people were like from my understanding that's what they were interested in the girls were vicious back in the day and the boys I think even were worse because they would gang up with the [ __ ] and it would just be able whm yeah I feel like we have like a soul connection of like past life trauma like honestly for being too hot for everybody being too hot in Middle School it was it was just cuz I went I was homeschooled and then when I went back to school yeah it was right around the time that like the videos started going viral but I left school would get all my school workor done and we would watch like makeup videos and would practice my makeup in front of the mirror cuz I was so incredibly insecure and then once I learned how to put a lash on I was like oh I'm going back game I got to go back for one last year just to show them what's about to happen we ran baby and I told my mom I was like I probably came down with like the thickest Wing eyeliner and lashes and I was like put me back in school put me back I feel like your mom just popped you out and she was like oh this one you're like that Debbie Ryan meme where she's like I went to the head of Disney and I said I'm going to make history yes and it was Radio Rebel but I also was like I was so insecure and it was all coming from a place of just being so so like lonely and I felt like okay I'm finally good enough and then I went back to school and all the musically stuff happened and then I was getting clowned for the complete opposite reason right so it was just like you were too popping it was back and forth but my mom did say to me like a couple I would say a couple months before the musically stuff happened we were driving in the car we I remember exactly where we were coming down the hill from our house and my mom was like you're going to be famous and I was like absolutely not I wanted to be a scientist I was like absolutely not I don't want people in my business I love science and I love science I love science she always tells men that she's like I love her science I so much I failed it I love a Grande Frappuccino with light ice and oat milk that's science [ __ ] that is science are you kidding fair enough okay your mom knew she said that and then I was like no I never want people in my business like that is not what I want and um she I think she was like she must have been like manifesting she like intuitive she was like aligning her chakras and like manifesting cuz like that oh yeah oh I love that wait you have a hippie mom yes but you wouldn't know by looking at her okay like she her mom's very like that to my mom is such a hippie she like will if there's anything wrong in my life it's like she busts out the stage like it's around the house um if I have a nightmare there's salt and you know perimeter in the yard like all that I kind of love that though she's like protecting you at all cost yeah she's very protective but yeah she she must have been doing something cuz and she would go to like T readings and stuff um ask about me um my cards we'll like literally be on vacation and St will disappear I'll text be like where did you guys she like I just had to see someone I had to see someone and she'll go like get like a full like talk to her psychic or something I'm like okay fair enough sometimes you got to do it so you were on musically and if I remember correctly which I don't know how I do cuz my brain cells are like gone and won but like that was very much like baby and like Mario Salman like everyone was on musically right Mario yeah I remember like the young little Mario like he was so cute I just want to pinch him he loved his little like fast motion videos oh he's so cute and what was like your first moment where you were like wait I have fans like in person like in public me and were talking about that like as a child just like going through all that like is insane to even process yeah I mean people would come up to me but in the beginning it was very intimidating for me because sometimes people would come up and they wouldn't be so nice but I had to be nice you know what I mean because what do you mean it's like etiquette it's like celebrity people don't have that also like by looking at me I think people definitely have a certain expectation of what I should be like so I always try to I think I overcompensate a little bit by like taking too much but people would come up to me and like put their phones right in my face and take pictures of me like it did not matter there was no hi I'm not a robot yeah and the more I got but no like laughing like crazy just like so but it was a different time but now people are a lot nicer but at the time but that didn't feel like oh I have fans that felt like oh people know me and they definitely like are clowning me um but I would say the first time where I was like oh my God I went to the UK and I posted that I was doing a Meetup um and I was like 16 15 or 16 and I posted I was like oh I'm going to do a Meetup in Lester square whatever and there was like a thousand people that showed up and it they shut down Lester Square I got pushed into a bar my mom got lost my coat got stolen people were falling people were getting hurt and I was you literally started a riot from existing I was in this bar and the police came and like had to escort us out um they wanted to ban you from the country at that point I felt so terrible cuz I was like I didn't know that many people were going to show up I didn't know people were going to get hurt and TR just you and your mom like was there a manager security anything yeah there was but not enough okay not for a thousand people no so it was yeah and um I think that's when I was like okay a this needs to be safer next time B this is much bigger than I thought it was cuz you go to another country and you don't expect that that's crazy mentally how did you deal with that cuz you go from like this is fun to like this is real like oh people are watching my every move type thing yeah I mean for me it was still fun because I was even that situation was not because I felt terrible um I couldn't have known but I did feel really awful um but aside from that I was so lonely I was homeschooled I was like doing my makeup in my room and I'd just gone through a lot and I was just I would sit in my room every night um and I would live stream and I would talk to people and then that sort of filled that void for me because these people know nothing about me yeah I can be whoever I want to be and it's like restarting in a away from you know a lot of things that I've been through and I just Lally a new life I started over so when people ask me about my life before I remember things like I remember cheerleading I remember track I remember but that wasn't your life that I don't remember a lot also there was just you know I was deeply traumatized during that time so like everything before that doesn't really register it's like from here on is what I remember I honestly say that a lot like to people like someone will say something about like my high school my like anything from when I was like obviously it's different with her but like me being as like a boy like I'll like remember oh like Christmas was fun blah blah blah but like I literally don't remember you don't remember how you felt you don't remember like how you like you know what I mean I don't remember what I was thinking or feeling and I feel like that's the case for a lot of people but like especially when you go through something major that like changes the trajectory of your life you your mind sort of shuts off certain things and I vaguely remember you know but like like it's there but like you weren't I've never related to anything more cuz honestly like I when I was in high school I was transitioning so like I had to hide that from so many people so by the time I I left High School like I'd realized like I'd gone through all of high school but like with like a chip on my shoulder like I I didn't like I always had to like watch like my guard like be on a different type time like I didn't actually enjoy it so like I honestly relate to that so fully like once I moved out to LA that's when I was like okay wait this is my life this is my memories like and also like growing up in La like as like a like teenager like that [ __ ] will change you so hard yeah [ __ ] you have to grow up so fast especially on the internet so like what time or at what age did you like like really like okay we're packing up shop from gungho Pennsylvania and like coming to Los Angeles like that's literally crazy so my mom my mom is she works very hard and she's always worked she's one of those people like come on Mama when I talk about like being so fiercely independent sometimes to a fault but so fiercely independent she had my sister when she was 18 she raised my sister I was to say are you an only child oh my God U no I have a sister she's 30 shout out big S it's just her birthday but we're very different like if you looked at my sister and I you would not know we were like related um but same I'm an only child you and Taylor really close and I was like well and we're not my sister and I aren't super close because we they're such a large a age Gap we didn't really get along growing up you live a like life that she like doesn't yeah and even before that I mean like we just didn't have much in common I wanted so badly to be her friend and she was a teenager and wanted nothing to do with me you we coexisted is um at but she's apologized to me she's like hey I know I probably didn't treat you the best and and I appreciated that but like my mom is just like what's her sign she's a Leo a St is a Leo and she's so independent I mean she like you know they're the most independent people ever was on her own with my sister and she takes care of business and like my dad works full-time but my mom like you know she'll always have a job and like she didn't go to college because she was married but she like she's always hustling hustled obsessed and so I but she was never I feel like when I talk about my mom people want to assume like the stage mom sort of vibe but she was never that I always had the reins and she was guiding me and I was so fortunate to be in that position that's like beautiful it was it was and of course we clashed we're very similar but AR Leo so scary yeah of course we C but I I admire that a lot about her um and yeah I don't even remember where I was going with this but she's badass it was just you and your mom like she she quit her job um well we came up we were coming out to LA quite a bit I was going uh yeah I was coming out here a lot I was cuz all my friends were here I didn't have any friends left at school because everyone you know it was like pitchforks you know everyone hated me and then I'm sure once you started Gam of following the people that were oh they come back and they always come back I'm so sorry obsessed obsessed with you God you look so amazing course I haven't seen you since the senior like school I haven't seen you since the Dead Sea [ __ ] exactly um but my mom we kept coming out and we looked at one apartment and she was like you know we can look at apartments we looked at one I was like I love it here she was like cool then we're here she quit her job we moved to California we didn't even bring anything really we just bought you know I bought new stuff I bought furniture I had new clothes you know it was like all tiger Mist cuz they were sending me like a million PR packages they were fueling my closet um but yeah we just started we just started over and my dad stayed in Pennsylvania and worked that's crazy is that like so sad like bye yeah and then it was weird because for a little while when he would come and visit I it was like we didn't know each other cuz you know yeah like such a different life type thing and I was changing so much and he had missed so much and I'm very close with my dad so it was the weirdest thing cuz he would come to visit and I I like kind of didn't really know how to interact with him at first obviously now it's different I see him a lot more but at the time I remember being like wow this is really weird cuz it was just always my mom and I um so yeah that was there was safic yeah I love that it's beautiful yeah they're still together they they've been through a lot together but they that they're they're very strong [ __ ] cheers to them to cheers to them I feel like they did such a good job at raising like oh St to sober now bless her heart um okay so you packed up and moved yes what was your life like like you it's like a regular day at what what year was it this was 20 I'm not going with timelines I was you still do school like how does that work I graduated out yeah got G she so in school I was two grades ahead in my work so then by the time I was able to test out I tested out I was such a waste of time honestly likeon I got my associates degree and it's good for nothing oh I have like two I'm two semesters away from getting my sister she's like I have my I have my master I my PhD no when did you go to college what do you have a degree in Li liberal arts I like sometimes showed up looked cun put on my ly lash after worked at Panera I love that like rode my bike to class wait do you have an Associates I I don't I barely have a license I don't have a license I don't have anything there's a lot of things that like you know different people I don't even have a cosmetology license and I have like my own business so yeah but you slay you're so right so obviously like the brand deals the money like everything was thriving at such a young age yeah and like how is that like how did that affect your relationship like with people with your family like was that confusing even yourself what did you look at yourself like you were the bread winner of your family unit at that like what pressure did that have on even now I'm like the [ __ ] owns two houses y'all respectfully like come on boss I mean I never I don't know I feel like I never really registered a lot of it because when you're you know you're working you have your coug and you put it away I was paying rent um and I was just like r at 14 like girl but I was ready for it La I was going through the motions my mom like we went to Ikea and HomeGoods and she would find all the deals like we were not balling and my parents weren't relying on me for anything it was all money that I was saving I did have a lot of really shitty managers um one of which pretty much took all of my money in order to get out of a with him was that like before any like music everything just like social media I was right around the same time um I basically got my um when I signed to Capital I got my which I got my advance and then he basically I did not want to be with him and he basically took it like immediately cuz I didn't want to be in contract with him and can you say how much it was it was all of the money I had yeah so there's always that one story like that you're just like what how how is that even allowed to happen so things were going well you thought you got like the best deal of your entire life and it changed everything just took it and like blocked your number type thing like I don't get it no it was it was to get out of the deal so to get out of my contract with him I had to pay him and it was pretty much everything that I had but I continued working obviously and then it picked back up again and I got you know I got very lucky um so are you still with capital no oh okay okay I left Capital no ma'am I left Capitol when I was I want to say 19 um is that like up the street yeah it's like right there right there um yeah I left them when I was 19 it just wasn't what I wanted wasn't your path it was too many cooks in the kitchen too many opinions and not what I wanted do you feel grateful for that now knowing that like the bad people are burnt out and like the good people are like surrounding you now absolutely my whole team is is women um that's like the only way I've been able to manage because they understand like you know whatever but you're such an anomaly to me like everything like every aspect of your life it's just like I've never heard anybody still be so down to earth after that so I give you a lot of credit cuz I after that I would have been like okay I'm done with the internet I don't want to do this but like you found a way to move on from that but it was the only thing that made me happy it was like the interacting with people and having this is going to sound really like but having people that cared about me unconditionally was something that I really needed and I was just telling her about Contin to need because I I became like dependent on having that relationship because it it brought me out of such a place right um and even like you know people notice when I was wasn't doing well and would say things and like put me in check and I needed that and my mom was of course there but she didn't know everything how could she know everything you do move through like every single situation in life like it's cute cuz like knowing you you are like so shy kind of lowkey but like you move through everything so confidently and like graciously like it's literally conspiring you're I want to be you when I grow up but you're literally four years younger than me I mean I I don't know I I've I've seen a lot of [ __ ] and I there's just a reason like the universe like literally has given you everything that you have and everything that you're I got told that apparently I was very helpful in my past lives I like that and this life is my reward ooh la and I don't know if that's true or not but I choose to believe it because I cashing in y'all cashing in those were wordss I mean it's so weird that you say that though cuz the other day and I was just telling her on our last episode that it stuck with me she was like lla it's so obvious that like you're setting up boundaries for like other people and yourself and like the universe is rewarding you yes and I think that really is so true like once for once once you put yourself first it's like it's going to be hard for a second but then everything just like comes to you following your intuition is like so she's so good at it that's why I've always done like I I've been on a lot of I've done spoken at a lot of tech uh conferences lately about so what can't she do I I love a Tech conference because they ask me they ask me interesting questions but a lot of them ask me about like how like career longevity and things like that and my answer is always like I just listen to my gut because it's never steered me wrong if something feels uncomfortable to me I'm not going to do it no matter what it is and I'm always right that's crazy you say that cuz I just saw someone's Tik Tok about with all this Tik Tok stuff happening like longevity like social media careers and it's like being here five years like I've seen so many people that I'm like H iconic whatever and then they just like disappear yeah like where they now where are they now like someone can literally have 100,000 followers 5 million followers but like if they don't like play their cards right kind of like they genuinely it's like back to their Hometown well and you kind of have to like fly under the radar a little bit in a weird way yeah because I've always I've always just trusted my gut and of course like everyone has moment in their career that are really big but I feel like a lot of times people rely on controversy and U negative things because it does bring attention but in the long run what is where does that get you that's that's all that people know you for I definitely went through that phase girl oh rapper so and so but now I'm in my like okay but you've always been funny a and you've always been cute and like liar and no you have you years later she's still cute no when I I actually found a photo of me and Lauren when we first met and I think it was probably like I moved Alle in 2018 I was working the night shift at McDonald's and I lowkey think it was like 2018 or 2019 it was at the Glendale Galleria and I was in my stolen Goodwill outfit and I saw her [ __ ] blonde perfect tall [ __ ] self and I literally was like [ __ ] I just love you and then literally like I went and like got something for $5 spent my last paycheck kept working at McDonald's really yeah and it's like I wasn't cute [ __ ] my wig was is not glued on but but you've always been so sweet you you you were always authentic and I that's a big theme in like no matter what you're doing that I think we've been talking about a lot is like just never lose sight of who you are and I honestly think it's amazing that you've gotten to that point being who you are she always tells me with any Scandal any friendship anything she it's like so rentree in my brain like I can hear you say it you're like girl you know your heart you know your morals and that's all that like you can't like make anyone espe especially like it's crazy that you grew up with like so much like big social media like musically like Tik Tok everything is so massive like the hate gets so crazy the Reddit the Tik Tok like people love to jump on bandwagons always and it's like a lot of times you genuinely just have to be like bye cuz they're the ones like literally supporting your lifestyle yeah I I don't read that I don't I Reddit is a scary place like it's like so addicting but so just like you have to just not I can't but speaking of you had like you got to the height of your career after like just so much [ __ ] [ __ ] getting your way which I'm honestly sorry about that but it it Get Lonely at the Top so tell me about like the ctin tell me about the [ __ ] times you were headlighting digit tour like you were doing all did you literally get a Teen Choice word yeah you I've been nominated I've never I'm a nominee girl I've never won never W too I've been nominated did you say never won a what what was yours that you said a te CH award oh did you get one no you were nominated so that's iconic I'm like always nominated never winning that's still amazing but I I'll show up every time I'll be like yes yes were there any moments where you were just like what you know what's so funny about that I was nominated for a teen chice award you're absolutely right and I showed up and I went to the carpet I had my little nominee bracelet on I walked up to the carpet this woman looks at me right in front of the [ __ ] Dolan twins yes imagine how 14-year-old me was felt this big and she goes this is not the place for you what and it was the carpet like I was a nominee I was supposed to be there and I was so embarrassed Ethan grce and Dolan standing right there I was like and I over I just walked away and then they ended up having to like sneak me on the carpet even though I was but that makes no sense they were just she just decided to be a [ __ ] that day but it was I was mortified damn in front of the Dolan twins how dare you you always like take your mom to those types of things no my mom my mom hates being on camera she she's like she'll go and like stand in the background if she has to but I always take like Brook my something about you that I love that you still do like I remember like I feel like 5 years ago or even maybe like when I was living in Iowa and like you were like on timelines and stuff you always always always have so many like cute little like fans like making all their edits and you always reply and you always repost them and you always like so sweet I love somebody who does that cuz other people like who just don't acknowledge anyone I'm like girl you would not be like does it doesn't register to me because it's that's what I've always done and that's why I did it in the first place like the when I started social media I was not making money I was sitting in my room homeschooled sad lonely and there were these kids that were you know my age CRA and I just had like this like community and then when we got older I they transitioned with me and transitioned with me and transitioned with me we're all transitioning these days everyone's transitioning I love that though cuz they like watched you grow but then like you also like grew up with them do you do you have the fans that you're like oh I know this username or like like I know you do when I went to I just went to Europe and when I was in Lisbon there was like uh three girls that I've known for the past seven years that we like went out to dinner we went out to the clubs and we were like hanging out when I went to France that is like so special there was like these two girls that I've known again for like seven years they're older now like they're you know it's so weird College like cuz they grow up and they have like boyfriends and lives and jobs and college they're not 13 anymore and but they like show up and we're like we go up in the Eiffel Tower and we're like hanging out so it's very fun it's very fun and I like I cried when I was leaving them because I was on the trip with Brook and Giani who you know right do you know Brook and G no they're my best friends maybe she's Matt but they've been dating for like seven years they're like you know they're going to get married and have so many babies yeah um I'm so obsessed right now right we what we so obsessed with like babies and like getting married like I made lla last night I made lla and we we're we're doing this thing where we have to cook because if we don't cook we we're never going to find love so and we're both infertile so you know we got to be good at something right we both have vaginas but they can't have babies or just like get really good at um H what else [ __ ] yes there you go easy started doing Ed transplants so who knows we might end up like in India getting no we're obsessed I've been hearing about so many advancements in science that are like blowing my mind crazy it's actually insane like I'll think about something I'm like no they can't do that but like St for born men and now we both have China like science is insane yeah my friend was telling my friend who's gay like is is dating or like going to get married or I don't even know was telling me about like how you can take two sperm together and with one egg and have a baby with both of it's crazy that's one of our like close friends Franchesca farago do you know who that is yes she's dating a trans guy yes and they're like doing all this IV and like our like Gigi and her husband like they're doing IVF and it's like crazy I going be the rise of the I have a kid myself and neither can she but I know I should have but I feel like they're going to be able to use like my hair Str or like bone barrel yeah I we'll be able to do like a touchcreen multiple choice in like five years I want my baby to have like a b Diva bow I wouldn't I wouldn't put it P cuz every time I hear it there's always something new it's like who is in science these days so she's been nominated for Teen Choice words you've pretty much done everything nominated for team Choice word lost yes no you're still a winner at heart you're a winner baby you're always a winner and you've also I like lowkey just found this out but also I think I knew it like you've been in music videos you were in Tor video vixon oh yes you were in taylorist video music video you were the man she had she was on the tennis court with the brunette little pigtails I just saw it last night that's insane it was it was like a highlight of my life like the highlight of my life no that's no that's iconic and every time anyone brings it up I get like I can't lie my stomach just got like butterflies I also got Butz Swizzle is a gangster I I feel like she's like the like like hardest like best woman in the industry cuz I feel like she just puts everybody else to [ __ ] how did that even like work did she just know you were like the girl and did he call you did you call T oh my god did Kanye call you who called you somebody record damn he did not call me um but no I I my team was like hey we have a music video opportunity you're going to want to do it and I was like okay so I got there I didn't know until I was there like I got there I was getting all my tattoos covered like sitting there like what and then there was a stunt like a stunt double who was in there and he was talking to me and I was like okay who like how cuz this is this stunt double is a man so I'm like trying to think of who looks like him right cuz I know he's a stunt devil and they're like covering my tattoos I got my hair makeup done and then I was informed that it was Taylor and I was like okay I would like lose my mind I put on like the little outfit and I walked on to the court and I was standing there I was you know whatever and then there was a bunch of people in this crowd and along with the stunt double guy that I had seen and he looked just like Taylor now I need to rewat like was she in your scene yes she was the man so it was me her and then her dad was like the referee I don't know tennis term I think he was a referee so you oh and I saw her parents in the hallway and they were like thank you so much for doing this and I was kind of imp passing I was like oh like of course and then when I was walking away I was like that person looks very familiar mom is Iconic the first time you met Taylor Swift she was a man yes so she came up to me that's not real how everyone feels about me like from Iowa back home what the first time I met she came to me and I had no idea cuz I've been talking to this stunt double all day and she came to me and she was like in her voice thank you so much for doing this and I and I just I was like of course anytime and you just have to keep your Co anytime is crazy and she did her research she was like oh you're from Pennsylvania I'm from here I went to school here you're from potown I went to school there cuz she went to school in potown that's crazy and I was like yeah she went to like a private school in my town oh my God know that and oh yeah it's like one of our claims to fame okay like Ariana and Boon exactly yeah well but she was there very briefly but we still cling to it you know cling month really did it exactly but yeah she was so nice and she talked to me for way longer than she needed to in between only heard amazing things about her like yes and you only ever will hear amazing things about her love her so much she can do no wrong in my eyesle her in that red lip that should glued to her I've had such like with my favorite like female artists I've only had good like wow Lana Del followed me out of the blue that gagged me like I almost threw up sitting on my couch I cuz it's when she changed her username you and I didn't know it was Lana Del now it's honeymoon this was like she started a new account did she yeah I think so so she followed me and like one other person that I was mutuals with that I like know and it was very random and I didn't follow that account cuz I didn't know she switched or whatever and I've the only thing I can think of yeah the only thing I can think of as to why is cuz I was using her songs in all of my reels I'm obsessed with her ands I'm the biggest Lana fan there is like I messaged her and I was like I finally worked up the courage one day I follow her back of course once I figured out that it was her account and cuz the account still had like 600k or something it was when it was she's restarted yeah and then it I was asking people I was like is this actually I don't want to look a damn fool like Ming some account so then she posted something on her story and I S I was like wow you're so beautiful and she replied and she replied both times I've dm' her and it's so nice wait I love that so I've I picked the right people to be fans of who are like you're like top three like oh my God I would like die for these people like fan girl mine for sure is Lana Lana is one Taylor's one emm and then a lot of my faves are like a lot of my faves are dead unfortunately like that's the worst part like peep I have a lot of tat Mac like yeah it's literally so sad yeah I don't know what song I was listening to the other day but it was like I think it was like juice World X and someone else and literally and then like P&B and all three of them were dead and I was like this feels really bad vibes forever huh was it bad vibes forever I love that song it's no it wasn't that one it was something else but oh my God and I just saw Lil Tracy like in concert like a year ago or something you did yeah and he played like a lot of egg songs and he's like I don't even like performing anymore cuz you know he's like Peep's best friend yeah and that's why he doesn't like it cuz they used to tour together so he was like I hate touring cuz I don't have it and I was like that is so dark and sad like this tattoo is a peep tattoo this tattoo I have like so the documentary both have like a lot of hand tattoos wa let me see your hand period is this for S that's for Taylor Swift this is a zodiac sunry that's from peep that was on his forehead random little squiggles at one point L for lla huh that's of course I know that's right is it for you laen it's a seven it's for Taylor Swift also it's a seeven okay I wore my L necklace for you today really oh you know s of course for slay yes slay exactly um okay so Lauren I really want to know what are your like toxic traits babe what are my toxic traits oh he's not going to say like personally mine are like scheduling like I'll schedule nine things at one time and then I just won't respond to people I have really bad ADHD okay so I can't focus on anything sometimes when like Mark is talking to me I just like get distracted and then I have to like I blacked out yeah and I do cuz my mind just goes somewhere else and it's not because I'm not interested in what he's saying it's just because like I just get lost and I have to like find something else I can also be I think I can be a little mean I discovered this last night yeah you you just like get overwhelmed and S I do I get overwhelmed like nothing I was he told me I he's like I was like am I mean and he was like I mean sometimes and I was like well I don't I actually try really really really hard to be nice to him It's just sometimes I get sometimes I get really overwhelmed and then I get snippy and then you're snippy with like the person you don't mean to be S but do you know do you know what I mean it's like oh girl I've lived it you know if like someone is like classic fire sign it's like shut up and you don't mean it like that but you know someone's like I mean scratching too long in one spot and then it gets overwhelmed you're just like get off you literally just like smack them like be like my my thing is like when when I'm already pissed off I hate when people try to calm me down cuz I'm like I'm already mad just shut up and get away from she like overwhelmed man don't hug her don't ask her I'm a big dis associator like I that's like my co mechanism so you brought up your best friend Brooke I want to ask how you were able to like navigate Fame good friendship family but like keeping like cuz you guys are still friends yes and you've been friends literally since like you started social media right which is I was like 16 like that's unheard of in LA in the social media world like what advice honestly would you give to the people being like Oh my I hate everybody shitty friends like how do you like navigate I had a lot of shitty friends but you learn like I I've had I had a friend who like I let her borrow my phone because her phone was broken and she leaked my fena like things like that where you trust people and then it's the biggest smack it comes back but something that I've like been saying a lot lately is a lot of people I feel like automatically don't would rather not trust anyone one than try and be wrong and I'd rather try and be wrong and be sad about it and mourn that relationship then never try it all and have never known like broe and I met at a mutual friend's birthday party um she was the only other tall [ __ ] and I looked at her it's always the tall [ __ ] tall [ __ ] and a full be and I was like I there was not a single other girl like that at the table and I looked at her we were sitting next to each other I said I like your makeup and I was like is that kitten Karma on your eyelids and she was like yeah and I was like and then we started talking I was so obsessed with her and she didn't post with me for a while I I could tell she would she wanted to like prove that she was not there for that cuz I had another that's like even a thing I had another girl one time that I met at the same party same birthday same birthday that birthday open a lot of doors and it also closed a lot of and they were quickly closed there was this one girl who came to my house she came to my apartment and I was trying to make friends she came over and she started immediately like put her phone in my room exactly where I put it to like film my videos at the time and started filming and I was like what are we filming right now and she's like oh I'm just like whatever I was like what are we recording which I was fine with like I didn't care but I was like as soon as she walked in the door so weird she like ate all of my boyfriend's M&M's that were sitting on the tableit okay first of all don't touch the [ __ ] chocolate he was he was not happy about that and then she like put her phone in the thing so that wasn't even the worst part I was like okay we can forgive we were going to get our nails done uh we get there and she's filming me do everything she's filming me put my shoes on she's filming me tying my shoes she's and that's one of those things where you can't be like why are you filming me cuz then you kind of like sound like like you sound like yeah and I was uncomfortable but like also uncomfortable cuz I was just doing very mundane things and like she's putting on her SN like haha Lauren's tying her shoes right now to people that she was hanging out with you that is so weird it's invasive we get to the nail salon she's like hey can I cuz I told her I had a Pinterest board for nails she's like hey can I can I look at your Pinterest board I was like of course I handed her my phone my boyfriend and my mom both call me and they're like did you post that and I'm like what girl so my boyfriend sends me a screenshot and she posted on my story and said hey Angels follow at da da da herself herself and I was sitting in the nail chair next to her and I looked at my story sure enough it was there I was like there's no [ __ ] way so I called my mom my mom picked me up and I left her ass that I was like I cannot be wrong I was like sorry I have to go emergency and I left and I delet obviously deleted it but I was like so I want to know who it is I'll show you later but I was so offended cuz I was like how how do you do that how do you just take someone's phone lie about while you're using it and then post something to people to look at my Pinterest board for nail inspo e does she not have a [ __ ] phone is my question but I and I understood at the in the moment cuz I had made I had a bunch of really cool ideas so I was like happy to share she needs to take her ass down a Metro PCS and get her a new [ __ ] phone because Lauren Gray's phone is not the one where you have to Cricket Cricket Wireless where you pay for the minutes it's I love that one when I was close giv Cricket or ticket ticket for being literally insane ew I'm sorry that you went through that it just it was a lot of that but like cuz then you have to like kind of have a guard up and like your heart you obviously I was super vulnerable at that time also I was just like Peak eating disorder like so insecure so like I don't know lost and susceptible to things like that and like I said that circles back too you don't know I know you we only met like a couple days ago but I love you no you guys have met multile times we met at Playlist Live honestly those don't count that me and yeah you're me you're actually meeting me now not like whatever version of me is like wasted about trigger warning but like eating sorder stuff like when I was doing my Lauren 101 on Tik Tok last night do you think like that stemmed from like being so young growing up and like having the pressure to be perfect look perfect feel perfect and like comparing yourself to everybody or like what and what got you out of that like Darkness I think it was a there was a lot of things one being I went on tour when I was 14 you know music or social media for social media and I was I was singing like one song I sang Rip Tide every single night because I just I wanted because I love singing and I I'd never been on stage so I wanted to love that song so and I wasn't good like I was I was not a good singer but I was I just wanted to try and I ended up like vocal Essence and learning because I loved writing music and I loved like writing poetry and I just wanted to try that's aside the point oh no I love that but yeah it was very cute um but I on tour you know I I just turned 14 and I started getting a lot of weight cuz I was not you know your body changes and your metabolism isn't the same as it was your body changes period and it it does and this is back to everyone is transitioning you are a 14-year-old girl you have the right to not be the same as you were when you were [ __ ] like boring yeah and it was but it threw me off cuz I got home from tour and like none of my pants fit and I just like had a really hard time so anyway I moved to LA and I didn't care too much I had a hard time in the moment and then I didn't care too much and then I moved to LA and the culture here is so so backwards backwards and I started dating someone who cared a lot about my appearance I was very much like um like Barbie to dress up and like makeup and you have to look perfect and look at this girl look how much better she is you need to be that he was projecting his insecurities onto you yeah so there was a lot of that and just like I I felt terrible about myself so I and I also have a very addictive personality so it doesn't take much so I started hyper fixated on and when you do something you go like hard and it's so easy in LA because there's you're surrounded by so many like perfect people so I started going to the gym and it happened quickly but also pretty gradually because I had a gym in my apartment building I had a gym you know that I would go to like a MERS yeah like a training class and it started I would just run and then go to the training class and then it was I would run a little bit more and then go to the training class class and then I would run more and then go to two training classes and then go do something after so my whole day was spent like all I did was workout and all I did was cardio obsessed it and then I would eat the tiniest amount of food to like carry me into the next workout to then sleep to then wake up and work out for another long period of time eat tiniest bit of food work out the nine pistachios just to make sure you didn't pass out and that's all I did and of course I lost a lot of weight but I feel like the things that people don't talk about like your hair falls out your breath stinks like there's so many things that people don't realize come like peach fuzz on your face yeah there's just so many things that like that are like not glamorous that are really gross most of them aren't and I always try and like I'm always going to be open with everything but that's like is something I always try to talk about cuz it's literally I like no matter how much I hated somebody like I would never ever ever ever wish like personally like the relationship like I have with like food and like my body on the worst person alive cuz like the eight hospital visits the potassium IV is like like you set like the teeth bleeding the enamel like just every part of anything with like body image eating sorder like it like is horrible and it like can [ __ ] with your personality and then you eat and then you start acting [ __ ] cuz you're like in a bad mood and like how did you feel like someone was telling you like you look amazing but then how what what were you feeling well like weirdly that's when I didn't care if someone told me I looked amazing when people told me I looked unhealthy that's what I was thriving off of because I was like that is what I was going for like you look sick it's like than you're like like and that's the most backwards way to think and I don't support that but like it started very early for me my when I was 12 or maybe I was 11 a little little younger before I started social media I really really wanted to model CU I was tall and I felt like that's the only thing I had going for me other than like my brain which I was very smart but I didn't care about that I just I wanted to do something that would make me feel good I signed to this mother agency and I had it was this guy and all he would call me like three times a day what have you eaten what have you been drinking and I was only eating rice cakes and Jello-O and like obviously things with no nutritional value that are disgusting and like not you're malnourished like not good by the way not good at all and and yeah like nourish your body people yeah Jello and rice cakes like again Eating Disorders there's so many terrible things that people do not talk about they glamorize it but they don't talk about the things so many levels to it so what I will say is I was getting all these phone calls my parents were not aware and I drank a glass of milk and he went off on me about this glass of milk that I had drank and it was like do you know how much of this is and this and whatever anyway it got to the point where I ended up like passing out in the shower and hitting my head on like the knob that turned on the shower and my mom was like I told her and she was like why did that happen and she like kind of grilled me on it got to the point where she was like okay that's enough of that like yeah I she didn't know now I'm passing out in showers like not good cuz at that time like in her brain and like as any 14-year-old like you're just a teenage girl like you're just a kid like in a lot of parents brains they're not thinking like and both my parents worked full- time like there's no way they could have been oh she didn't they've dealt with that in the past like a lot of parents don't have that knowledge of what's going on right so exactly and I just like it started there and then I went away came back and then when it came back and once I moved here it was like full force and every time someone was like you look so unhealthy D I like fed off of that yeah and crazy like obviously getting over it was hard but I would say when I actually started getting over it was during Co okay and and I also then then like when you're older and you're in La alcohol gets introduced right and for me drinking I can't eat when I drink so it was like one or the other and I was it was always drinking it was and it was always drinking so I definitely then had that not like an issue with alcohol but an issue with eating yeah because I was preoccupied over over consumption right and and deflecting for sure yeah and I mean Co there was like nothing to do so at all yeah and then I don't know I think I just so like right now are you good are you happy I'm good right now I think like I love you too I love like seeing someone overcome that cuz it is like well you always have those thoughts like you always you always think about some people like don't and I'm like wait you've never had like a bad relationship with food you can just like eat a cheeseburger and move on like yeah well cuz you think like you there's thoughts that people don't realize that you have like if I cuz you make all these rules for yourself and then those rules are ingrained in you so even when I'm like it's 8:00 p.m. and I'm hungry and I don't eat I'm like that's good I didn't eat but like really I should have [ __ ] ate because my body's hungry exactly and it's like you you never really get over those thoughts that pop into your head and you feel like kind of proud um but at the same time I'm proud of you thank you I'm so proud of I try I try like it is and the fact that you're even talking about it so openly like just proves how strong you are and and you have to be careful what you say because I don't want people taking this and then like running within the opposite direction and that's why I always say like there are so many gross terrible things that happen to your body and most people when you say that I have to think what would I have thought if someone was saying this when I thought a certain way yes you lose weight yes you're skinny but the way your body falls apart the way that you're miserable every day it's never worth the way that you look it doesn't just like mess with the way you look it literally affects like the way your brain works the way you act towards people the way your like literal liver inside's heart are like is pumping blood to your like brain nothing is worth your health no and I feel like you are your you are your toughest critic no one is ever looking at you and judging you as hard as you judge you when you look in the mirror and that's something that you kind of have to accept engrave in your brain yes so what is one way that you feel like in your recovery process that like you self soothe like what's one way like you're having a really bad mental day what's one way you self sooe um I feel like sometimes like turning my brain off is very hard so I think for me like doing something that's mindless that's simple that I know I can do that's not going to overwhelm me especially with like the whole ADHD thing and never being able to focus I can imagine I feel like you guys are so similar in that aspect I can't like I cannot focus on anything I I can't imagine what your brains are like I'm just glad there's two of you in front of me cuz one I'd be like yeah cuz your mind starts to like your mind starts to wander and then I stay up some nights my mind just races and I can't I can't like and I lose track of where I'm supposed to be and like even doing something as simple as like playing a video game or like reading a book social media is the worst thing for turning your off oh my gosh at night lady I've been I don't know honestly like this one like rapper Guy taught me it at night try it you'll wake up like feeling better turn your phone on airplane mode when you sleep cuz like something with like the energy and the signals like literally interrupts a certain part of your you're unach and I yeah every time I leave anywhere every time I walk in that front door I literally just always turn on airplane mode cuz I'm like even for a little bit if you just really just want to disconnect and like still obviously like do whatever on your phone like I a big person about access so I don't want like even like I limit my own access and I don't want people having access to me like I'll be overwhelm sauce will be like lla we're changing your phone number fair enough you're going into witness protection for sure full Selena Gomez style as you should I mean it's very hard to like lock in and yeah it's it's tough especially when there's so much going on and like I think something that's been very comforting to me is realizing that everyone is having having the same thoughts everyone is for every single person that I look at and I'm like wow they have it together and wow they're so perfect they're a mess and they're they they have their own demons yeah they're all dealing with everything they're all dealing with their own [ __ ] so the most you can do is be like okay this is where I'm at in this moment and [ __ ] everybody else and what can I focus on right now yeah that's that's going to turn my brain off because like I'll stay up until 6:00 in the morning just thinking about every possible thing that could ever go wrong I'm like well I hope my mom's okay and what is what is Brooke doing and does Mark like me and I'm just thinking all these things even though I know the answers your mind just goes all over the place and you can't focus on sleeping so I think doing things that are Mindless and you know I agree that's great advice self love always the the late night mind thoughts are seriously so intense it's a little intense even like I'll I'll tell stas that sometimes she she'll be like talking me through it like what were you thinking and I'll just start talking she'll be like holy [ __ ] are you okay and you also don't realize how many things you keep to yourself because until you're alone until you're by yourself because then you then you realize and even the things there's so many things that we think that are uncomfortable that you don't really want to talk with anyone about so those are the things that come up and then it's overwhelming so I think I don't know it's communication is very important well I just love seeing you in your happy era heal you're boot up era amazing thank you what's next for Lauren Gray I don't know I can't with you do you have a book no you should have one everyone has a book though I will eventually but I want it to be juicy like I need to add more I need to build a yeah but also like what reflecting can I really do I feel like in maybe 10 years I'll have more reflecting to do okay like full circle yeah I think I'll actually understand but right now I'm like H I probably don't even have't even digested what happened three years ago you know what I mean same even last night like literally at all no idea okay I have to ask cuz somebody on Instagram I like posted and I was like all right you guys new guest alert ask us questions and somebody said something about Mr Clean eraser what is that did you have a scandle with literally like Mr tidy with Brooke scoffield wait tell me about and tana okay so Brook and tana this is funny this is not anything bad it's not a scandal okay Brook and tana posted uh an episode of canceled when they first started okay and I didn't know Brooke yet I became friends with Brooke but I didn't know Brooke yet and Brooke had said on cancelled that she uses Mr Clean Magic Eraser to remove her spray tan okay oh she did do that I think right and I was so excited cuz I hate like exfoli like my hand's so bad right now like I hate waiting for it to fade I want to do it right now it she like a 15 Step Moment full like seaweed body scrub like the whole night I just used my l once and then I literally look deranged but like I I needed something so she was like yeah I used Mr Clean Magic Eraser to remove my spray tan so what did I do first thing I did was go to my go into my kitchen opened the cabinet I was like boom Mr Clean went up to my bathroom started scrubbing I used it on my leg a little bit I was like okay it's fine it was like okay it's coming off then I went directly on my neck which is like the thinnest skin Mr Clean Magic raser is bleach it is bleach and chemicals it is a it's for household bathroom cleaning I got a third degree burn um on your neck so I did it on my neck and I was like oh it like didn't hurt at first and I was like oh F this Burns I was like oh like this really Burns so it I left it it went away a it didn't went away the pain went away I left it for a little bit then it started turning black like my whole neck turned like black and was peeling and I was like oh this is not good oh was like 24 hours over the span of like a couple days at Face Time my DED my dad was like you need to go to the hospital for that because that could leave to permanent scarring and I was like only you my sweet sweet girl so I went to the hospital I went to the ER and like they I went to the Urgent Care they're like we don't have the stuff to help you I went to the ER they gave me like a cream and they asked me what happened I sat there for like 4 hours and they finally let me in and then they brought me in and she was like what happened and I was like well you can't laugh and she was like what happened she like well I watched a video Life Hack and it did not go to plan I used to blames b i I did not mention names and I was like I used to M that was my bad I knew there was bleach in that and I still went I would have done this I when you said that before you told me the story I was about to do it right now like no like yeah and when you hear like okay yeah like people don't realize how important the Tana is but like the removal process is such a pain in the ass yeah and the [ __ ] out of me they use bleach on your neck I was like of course someone on the internet said it was good um and then I told broe that when I met her and or I told I posted about it and bro was like I'm so sorry whatever she didn't know you know what I mean like that's insan it was an honest mistake but I was a sheep I fell for it wait so it just went away well I I had burn cream that I had to put on it every night oh from a [ __ ] she's a real survival is insane and I was but honestly I lived and I learned and then my friends got me for Christmas that year Mr Clan magic Racers as a joke cuz it was like how ridiculous are you but you're not going to use them like Flinch every time you look at one now well I like think I definitely brings up memories and it was working I can't lie but it also left like the craziest third degree burn do not do it I cannot with that that's actually Beyond and I feel like it's always that one thing where you're like I'm about to be so clever that just leads to like yeah and I didn't I knew there was chemicals in it but I wasn't think cuz I used it on my leg a little bit I was like okay and then I used and I was the most sensitive skin so yeah for life and then I do want to ask you what's your favorite thing about your life my favorite thing about my life things about my life I love that like I get to have so many connections with so many people that I would have never known um I love that I have the ability to do things that I never never thought I would have been able to do and I also think that having I I know it's harder to find friends and relationships and stuff when you have something to offer people and it's very easy to take advantage of um but I think that knowing that and having the people in my life that I have makes all of those relationships even more special because like when you when you know you know and you know you know when someone truly cares about you versus what you can offer to walk in Le and suck the life out yeah and there's been a there's been a lot of that but I'm grateful for those experiences too so I think that like having all of those things um has made me the person that I am and they're down to earth beautiful sexy bad [ __ ] you are confident amazing hardworking the scientist she is y'all oh yes she beat the algorithm okay what do you see happening like in 5 years from now like Lauren Gray 28 years old like what what's like your dream like what's your like for me are you going to be in La do you want to like like are you going to start at music again it changes every year I mean I think that or not every year it changes all the time and every year I guess every day it changes every day CU I like I said when you live your life sort of based off of intuition it's hard to predict because I don't know where who I'm going to be next year I feel you I feel you so hard I don't even I don't like to predict I do this thing where I'm like just so delusional like I told lla I'm like we're going to London hey UK we've never been to Europe we've never been you never left the country I've never left the country oh you have to you have to okay I just got my passport so go to Italy Italy go to Italy maybe we'll start there go to Italy we want to do like London and Paris so we want to do like kind of all of it like I'm sure like just the full Europe I just like saying things in like somehow some way they always happen weird thing about us and we leuren we can never watch reality TV ever again because every time we watch reality TV we're like wait I like that guy he's hot [ __ ] him [ __ ] him what shows do you watch a lot of like the cringey Netflix like d me too which ones okay which ones are you like loving right now you love The Bachelor we love binging too H to handle even though everyone's annoying I just finished Love is Blind oh love on the Spectrum I love love on the Spectrum I love we love the challenge have you seen the challenge I've seen the challenge here and there but like Love is Blind I was need have you watched nday fiance Bey love the Spectrum though is like a show that just brings me so much love and like hotat because it's it's just like it's pure girl with the glasses the the brown hair the curls a what's her name I love her I love her too I Abby and David I lowkey want to meet like I want to love when they're like in Africa and they're just on the Safari I was like this is what life and they're singing the circle of life like why do I want to do that really yeah have you not seen that episode no you have to watch cute okay Africa I just finished love is blind and I like I have so many like the the tell all didn't do what I wanted it to do is in the rooms also everybody's [ __ ] on the one girl cuz she said she was um Megan Fox and then every the whole internet is [ __ ] on her but I know I personally think she actually I see it I feel like she looks like Megan Fox like from a very far distance yeah she looks like Meg Fox if you s it and tell your head like you know what I mean like I could see it it's like the eyes are similar get I get the facial structure you guys are giving her too many flowers I know people are [ __ ] on her online though I feel really bad I know cuz she didn't ask for it but she knew she knew when she said that like it was going to but also this is what I don't like the way she phrased it was she said is there anyone you get compared to obviously she wanted him to ask her clearly you wanted the compliment but she did say I don't see it at all [ __ ] pick me but people say Megan Fox but I don't see it and and but also when you're in a room for that long you yeah like what do you say for what haly Bieber and tape McCrae Haley Bieber tape McCrae and um there was one more that was recent like H H Barry no I don't know what H berry looks like the mom in that kidnapping movie it's no I think I know what you're talking about I different Haley or hie something to be honest from St have gotten Megan Fox before you look like Megan Fox I with her long darker hair with my long hair the she gives like Jennifer's Body for sure the one girl shaa from like Vander P rules or something but I've never seen Shea Shea sh I get Alison dentes from Pretty Little yes or Alison from America's Next Top Model I don't know what wait no no no the pretty low Liars reference I'm actually gagged fil like in Pennsylvania or something probably you really look like her really I've never thought about that yeah I get that a lot I'm sure especially when I curl my hair you're gonna die when you see this right now this is literally like wait what are you showing this girl she was on America star next time all St I know that's like a that's like a horrible photo but like why is that kind of like I'm laughing your reaction why does that kind of look like her well the big eyes you do have big eyes a perfect honestly perfect tiny symmetrical forehead and like you know it's also so weird my best friend growing up used to be obsessed with you and I'm not going to lie I I didn't know who you were cuz I wasn't on musically and she honestly she always said oh I kind of look like her she honestly kind of looks like you which is crazy yeah but she's a rat C oh she's a we do not look like I'll show you I'll show you after well at the end of every episode we always like to give like a compiled thoughts on everything going on how you feel advice for anybody watching a word a thought a word a drink p g whatever you would like she likes white white wine y'all yeah I think the moral of the story is there is a lot going on in the world all of the time and there's not much we can control so for the things that are out of your control you just kind of got to let it go let it go you just kind of got to let it go bless love and release it's true I feel like so many people stress over things that they cannot control if it's out of your control then it's not worth stressing that can't control or understand about it is always like it's I'm not meant to like if someone's like trying to like start anything with her she's like I'm not meant to understand that I love that not me I'm not meant to understand and I simply will not and I simply will never be meant to and I'm also I'm blacking out and you're I can't the only thing we can control is filling up your glass with more Peno GRE show ex and that is that is something we can control so we're not looking at the glass half empty we're looking at the glass half full baby also I've like slowly sunk into this couch until a little too comfortable I'm like asleep we're all going to like get under the we're going to literally I just want to apologize to everyone for the podcast I've had this glass like in my ass for a lot of this part was killing me you were like and I've also like pulled the glass out of my ass several times to drink it it was under my leg someone's going to clip this like we look like um Drew ber more like you start Str oh my God I always isn't she like get on the floor and like hold people she's always like holding people's hands like playing with people Austin Butler but there's a crowd of people like it's not even a podcast it was like a weird episode cuz it was like Austin Butler and she was like playing with his hair and I'm like you are old and he is married what is going on he married no not to Vanessa H so I don't care like him oh okay like they're like they're married okay I didn't know that well you guys that was our newest episode of liability Our Guest our icon our friend Miss Lauren thank you so [ __ ] much for being here I love this episode so much I hope you guys enjoyed we're personally so comfortable and we're going to continue to get comfortable I love you guys if you do not already follow Lauren which honestly I doubt it make sure you're following Lauren on all of her socials I will link them below as well with me and St and I hope you guys enjoyed this episode of liability love you guys so much bye guys [Music]