Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "The Tonight Show." You're here. You made it. Thank you for watching at home. From the new movie
"Beetlejuice Beetlejuice," Justin Theroux is here tonight! [ Cheers and applause ] Also, she's one of the greatest
Olympians of all time. Simone Biles is here
this evening! [ Cheers and applause ] Simone is incredible. Between the two of us,
we have 11 Olympic medals and one
pickleball participation trophy between the two of us. -Beautiful. -I sprained my ankle
halfway through, but I still got the trophy. Uh, guys, Election Day
is just two months away, and a new poll shows that
only a third of Gen Z voters support former President Trump. That makes sense.
Trump thinks Gen Z is the rapper
married to Beyoncé. [ Laughter ] -[as Trump]
"I've also got 99 problems." [ Laughter ] That's right. Only a third
of Gen Z supports Trump, while the rest plan
to vote skibidi toilet. -Oh.
-Speaking of Trump, tonight in Pennsylvania,
the former president participated in
a town-hall event on Fox News moderated by Sean Hannity. Yeah, it was just like
the "Bachelorette" finale, but with a couple
who are actually in love. -Oh.
-Yeah. Did you guys see this? During a recent
podcast appearance, Trump was asked where he writes
his Truth Social posts from. Check this out.
-What are you doing usually when you're composing a truth? Like, are you chilling back
on a couch? -Couches, beds. -Okay.
-A lot of different things. [ Laughter ] -Just say toilet.
Just say -- Just say -- Asked how often
he posts from bed, Melania said,
"How the hell would I know?" Switching gears,
I saw that temperatures in Phoenix, Arizona,
just hit 100 degrees for the 100th day in a row. It is really hot. -Audience: How hot is it?! -It's so hot,
I saw a bird catching a worm with a potholder. -Audience: But how
is that relevant to us? -What? -Audience:
We're in New York City... 75 degrees. -Right, but this show airs
all across the country. -Audience:
We only care about New York! 'Cause that's where we are! -Guys, you should care about
other people in other places. -Audience: You're right... Our therapist says it's
something we need to work on. -You all have
the same therapist? -Audience: Yeah!
-That's weird. -Audience: Almost as weird
as seeing a bird catch a worm with a potholder!
Ha ha ha ha ha! -Okay. Fair enough. Alright. Moving on.
Fair enough. I got you. I understand. [ Applause ] They're right. Some business news. Uh, McDonald's just announced that they're going to
start serving McFlurries in a new cardboard cup that has
four flaps to cover the top. Every Chinese takeout
restaurant was like, "Wow. Where'd you
come up with that idea?" Can we see a photo
of the new cardboard cups? Yeah. It looked like a Ronald McDonald
gender reveal. [ Laughter ] Well, as I mentioned earlier, last night was the season finale
of "The Bachelorette." We love "The Bachelorette"
on our show, and there was a lot of drama between Jenn
and her ex-fiancé, Devin. Now, if you missed it,
don't worry because here to re-enact
that scene with actual lines from the show are The Roots' own
Tariq and Questlove. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Thanks, Jimmy.
Tonight I'll be playing the role of Jenn,
this season's Bachelorette, a 26-year-old
physician's assistant student from Miami, Florida,
who was confronting their ex for the first time
since their breakup. -And I'll be playing Devin,
a 28-year-old freight-company owner
from Houston, Texas, who's being confronted
by their ex for the first time
since their breakup. -Okay, well, whenever
you're ready, take it away. [ Dramatic music plays ] -I can try to understand somebody changing
their mind about the way they feel about somebody. What I can't understand is ending the engagement
on a phone call. The next day,
I wake up to you following girls on Instagram? Not just any girl, but Maria?! Did our relationship
even mean anything to you? -U-Um, yeah, a-absolut-- -It was so hard... that you went and
followed Maria on Instagram. You were going through
such a tough time that you followed Maria... on Instagram! Next thing I know, you're in
New York clubbing with Jeremy! [ Laughter ] -I-I think this is a little
different than the conversation I was hoping to have with you. I-I went there for a work trip. I met a client and -- -[ Laughs ]
Uh-huh. In the club? -Uh, am I not allowed
to have a life? -No! You -- You can live a life! You can go clubbing
as much as you want! But -- But don't --
don't even feel anything? Like, while my heart is broken
every Monday night watching --
watching the lies that -- that you said to me on TV? -Uh, you can say they're -- -Are they not?! But I hope you had fun
in the club. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Questlove and Tariq,
everyone. Questlove and Tariq. Alright. Yeah, yeah. Very nice. Thank you very much.
Good to see you. Bye. Bye. Goodbye.
Bye. Bye. Goodbye. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Goodbye. Very good. [ Cheers and applause ] "Maria on Instagram?!" [ Laughs ]
Guys, listen to this. Apparently, new images reveal that the railings on
the "Titanic" have fallen off. Okay, I know this is gonna
ruffle a few feathers. I'm just gonna
come out and say it. The "Titanic"
does not seem safe to me. [ Laughter ] And, finally,
health authorities in Sweden said children
should not be exposed to any TV screens or devices
until the age of 2. Then, after spending
a day with toddlers, they were like, "You know what? Maybe a little screen time
during dinner won't hurt." We have a great show, everybody.
Give it up for The Roots! -♪ Get up ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Whoo ♪ -Yes! What a show! What a show we have
for you tonight. He's an Emmy-winning actor,
writer, and producer who stars in the big new movie
"Beetlejuice Beetlejuice," which is in theaters
and IMAX this Friday. Justin Theroux is here tonight! [ Cheers and applause ] Plus, she won four medals
at this summer's Paris Olympics, bringing her total
medal count to 11. Wow. This fall, she's starring
in the Gold Over America Tour along with
America's greatest gymnasts. Simone Biles
is joining us this evening! [ Cheers and applause ] And we got great music
from Cage the Elephant! "Neon Pill." Look at -- Oh. Studs. Look at these guys.
Come on. The best. Um, guys, I'm sorry
if I seem a little out of it. I didn't get much sleep
last night. -Really?
-Yeah, I had a nightmare. No. I had a...Tonightmare. [ Thunder crashes ] [ Woman screams ] I was all alone... standing outside
a ranger station in the middle of nowhere. A park ranger ran out of
the woods, covered in blood. He said,
"Jimmy, you're not safe here! The only escape
is through the forest!" So I booked it
and I ran to the woods. I ran and I ran and I ran,
and that's when I saw it. It was an alien! It slowly approached me, wrapped its claw around
my throat, and it said... I-It said -- It said,
"Tickets for Tonightmares, our immersive
haunted maze experience
at Rockefeller Center, are available now at
JimmyFallonsTonightmares.com. It opens September 20th
through Halloween.
It's gonna be fun." Now stick around.
We'll be right back with more [ Screams ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Muzak playing ] -[Gravelly voice] We'll be
right back with Justin Theroux. ♪♪