welcome to after midnight tonight panelists you'll be competing for a handful of almonds this broken rolly chair these ketchup packets I've been keeping in my fridge this sixpack of sock yes an extreme closeup during the end credits that's right your face real big hope you've been exfoliating comedians you'll be competing for the grand prize of my father's approval a dental boie bag $65 American doar yeah what was that I'm actually being told that legally we cannot give away money because that would make us an actual game show this dipping bird this doll that my brother actually got me it is haunted and I'm sorry but I need to get rid of it nobody look it directly in the eye a coupon for a massage from my ex-boyfriend there's no expiration date so he must honor it not stolen jeans yes the electronic anti- theft device is still on it but I promise we did not steal them today you're all playing for my job that's not a prank whoever wins will legally become the host of this show this is the contract wow this I voted sticker that you can wear whenever you want there doesn't even need to be an election this Newton's Cradle okay I thought those were anal beads I'm very upset these 5B dumbbells for AAA batteries my best tooth I ripped it out of my head last night because a man only I can see told me to this haunted doll my brother gave me as a gift yeah as you can see I tried to give it away as a prize last week oh no and let's just say it made its way back to me these night vision goggles oh no but seriously if you win you have to promise not to anybody the name Jennifer if you win the very idea of the name Jennifer belongs to you yeah a wet lock of my hair yes oh my God a custom craft from me Taylor Tomlinson the host of after midnight this bag of loose ranch dressing this jar of coins New Year's Eve sunglasses from the year 2009 this was the last year where it made sense to have the two little eye circles every year since then it's been shoehorned in these boxers that are signed by Tom Brady yeah these are legit and probably worth actual money do not ask me how we acquired them a foul ball yeah I caught it at a Dodgers game the crowd wanted me to give it to a child and I refused a rotisserie chicken this catalytic converter I think that you sold that for me no we got this from a man who said don't ask where it came from so this haunted doll I have tried to give it away as a prize twice now each time it was returned to me please help ever since it showed up my kitchen knives keep disappearing this coupon to an all you can eat shrimp Buffet because who doesn't love shrimp besides me and many others tonight panelists you'll be competing for an extra year on your life CBS gave me that power a slice of pie one page from my diary this pamphlet about UTI this pet rock we gave him eyes but no mouth so he can't talk back to you tonight you'll all be playing for an honorary bachelor's degree it is from after midnight University we are not an accredited institution but you will owe us 60 Grand