Hannah Berner (We Ride at Dawn) on TYSO - #267

[Music] I'll take my shoes off here yeah and then let me give you socks before you drink it's you're so cute what kind of dog is he like a little Chihuahua Chihuahua pug a Chihuahua pug oh my gosh I'm obsessed with you can you travel with you uh we're traveling soon for the first time hi baby water and if so room temper cold not cold water please Space Jam or Dumb and Dumber what space Jammer Dumber Space Jam Space Jam is actually the greatest movie of all time really yeah is that where you learn to keep the bathroom light on I got it I got it oh my God you know you're cutest cut just in case like Alvin wanted to go in I didn't know right look at him um that's distracting um so I'm gonna Focus you up um oh my gosh it's a baby wait you got lucky how did you know that he was going to be good like this I've been looking at dogs for 2 years I'm not joking it's like dating yeah and then I'm like oh he's the guy so like when you met him he just had the right energy yeah I actually have a kind of an interesting story about it but I told it on a podcast and not that you can't repeat stories but I feel like for what you could just change the story and spice it up it's already so spicy I'm going to have to give you an an answerd before I tell it Scot all right um BL blue scoop oh yeah I did um a a pod called pretty basic with the girlies talking about girl [ __ ] you want to get it You' actually would be surprised how much I would get it name name you sisters no I have black girlfriends I'm actually wearing my Lauren Hill pants is that what you mean my sisters what's the best flavored tampon trick question the problem with tampons is that the government hasn't regulated giving them to women for free I'll tell you something if men were bleeding from their dicks I bet you we could get free tampons I hate the way that women are treated does that get you [ __ ] when you say that I don't know what gets me [ __ ] cuz I don't get [ __ ] I get connection I meet you know intimacy yeah I'm in a relationship with a woman who sure I I suck and [ __ ] but like it's really just so we could connect yeah well can I get you ice to make your nipples a little harder sorry my nipples hard it's cuz I your dog is turning me on oh my God I told myself I wasn't going to be too crazy on this pug cuz I know you like to go crazy but we're 1 minute in and we've already broken every rule well there's only one rule that you broke that's coming in sockless but we took care of that why don't ever wink at me again I have autism that doesn't mean you have to wink unrelated I was just changing the subject oh thank um could I actually and maybe we'll do it in post could we just bring her shrill down so you no no no no um I only say that cuz you making a joke that I wouldn't understand women and I know women don't like to be called Trill I actually don't even know what Trill means so it didn't even affect me uh it's means like um high pitch I think I think high pitched when it's not supped that's why your dog likes me cuz he can't even hear it it's so high pitch you know I have noticed that he doesn't really respond to his name yet but if you say it in a higher voice he does oh watch he won't Alvin oh but maybe it'll he'll respond better Al little alv baby that apparently animals know when you speak and baby voices that it's for them cuz they're babies that makes sense no matter how old they are I met a woman who um am I allowed to say deaf no um hearing impaired okay and very hearing impaired and her support doggy I meet I I've met a lot of support doggies I'm and I just a lot of them are not real support doggies I've I've met a lot of support doggies okay like that have jobs and this one had learns that when you say its person's name like if I said Hannah and we're talking to each other the dog would know not to do anything but if you aren't looking at me and I say Hannah the dog the dog then comes over and goes between her legs and points to where it's like wow I mean I watched a documentary about self what do you call it self-help doggies self doggies help doggies what is it called service animals service animals so but people have to talk about these service animals quotations that people just want to bring on their trip to Aruba which I'm fine with see I'm not I'm not because your dog doesn't get along with other dogs but that's so that I that I agree with yeah that's I just wanted to you know put safety out there but some people don't get along with other people if your dog could go on a plane and just be calm and chill but it doesn't know how to get you medication when you're you know you're having a panic attack then I'm fine with it yeah I agree I 100% agree I do think point for me I do you think though that I get jealous of dogs cuz they'll be like this dog's amazing but it doesn't get along with other dogs and like that should be the same for humans and be as acceptable like tons of dogs get adopted that don't get along with other dogs they're like that's just him and we don't try to change him well the the the difference is those dogs go into households with no other dog but humans are going into places with other humans all the time some the incels are a thing yeah but are we are you talking about incels I just brought it up are incels guys that don't leave and don't have sex leave where like their home exactly yeah I don't know that that you just got so happy exactly incels and [ __ ] boys are terms that I've heard uh lots of different definitions from and so some [ __ ] boys are are more similar than different damn is this what you guys talked about on what was the name of that podcast pretty basic pretty basic that's probably a big podcast right I just don't know about it cuz I'm not in the know you wouldn't understand the shrillness of it it just goes past your ear your ears hear tell tell me some things that I wouldn't understand because my audience is mostly women my audience is mostly 35 to 50y old women okay so the Smart Ones yeah and are you sure about that I haven't looked at anything I'm just how would I know and no one knows who listens to the Pod you just talking to the mic and then pray like go like God is what I like to say oh interesting Pray For What pray that someone receives our message that will connect with them and then change their perspective on life forever is that why you do your podcasts obviously that's why I when I'm pretty basic huh what types of things do you hope are heard that only women will understand that would be beneficial for the few men that listen to mine that hey you should know about this I am very about men one sec we'll be right back with a word from DraftKings you guys thank thank you so much my name is Rick [Applause] Glassman we come come down for a second thanks man hey did you guys have a good time and if you want to have a good time what did you check out one of my other shows listed right here Los Angeles at the Hollywood improv August 18th Seattle Washington August 23rd and 24th at LS Comedy Club Dallas November 6th Houston November 7th Austin November 8th at the creek in the cave guys thank you so much good night I'll shut up yeah right that's one thing you do not know how to do I will I promise you do not know how to shut up yeah I do look watch okay this ad is sponsored by Better Health if you're anything like me and you have parents that are kind of insane constantly stoned then never skip a therapy day with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com tyo to get 10% off your first month that's better help h e l ptys o. okay here I'll do it go to better help go to go to better help Ty wait a minute I know I can do it betterhelp tyso slash something or other supp something conf better.com I need help I need you this episode is sponsored by Blue mom finds it difficult to do a lot of things would you agree I mean I I yeah I forget how to do certain things well a lot of things are hard but luckily for our audience we have even more things that are hard we're talking about your Co now if you're like me and your penis is sometimes so big that it's hard to completely fill with blood because then your face will get white I suggest blue here's why well Mom you tell them well I'm not really that interested in in in in him no I don't mean with me I just me read the thing oh what am I reading blue Chu wants the entire country rock hard they told me that's the mission they will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house oh yeah till every tent till every lent tent is pitched till every Rod is raised discover your options at Blue doom and we've got a special deal for our listeners try blue free when you use our promo code tyo a checkout just pay $5 shipping that's blue.com promo code tyo to receive your first month free visit blue.com for more details and important safety information we thank Blu for sponsoring the podcast hold on a second let me interrupt you no but I actually there is the whole like you know [ __ ] men it's very trendy to be like [ __ ] men right now but I'm actually fascinated with like understanding men more and them understanding us more right we're just this is what's happening right here we're opening communication cuz I would never let's say at a on the street feel comfortable talking to you cuz you're intimidated by My Success yes yes and I don't know when the last time you showered is interesting but the fact that we've organized this we've done research on each other for years kind of like you adopting a dog I I've been watching your Clips making sure I felt like this was a safe space for me yeah I canel a couple times just to see if you still cared I don't remember us ever having something that you canceled I remember you saying that I'll be available at this time and then I reached out at that time and then you didn't respond to me for a year is that what happened a couple of times yeah cuz my girlfriend lives on the East Coast so whenever I go over there I podcast with New York people so I would tell you hey I'm going to go there at this time and you're like that would be great and I reached out and you didn't respond fine after happened three times I I I don't remember the last time I've asked but I made a decision I'm not asking you any anymore did you really I did and can I tell you something wait we were in a fight I I had I had no no you just were like I'm not going to waste my time it the last time I asked you it didn't feel good oh wait that makes me upset that makes me upset because I want men to feel good around me well let me get you some ice cubes I but I mean it didn't feel good it's like do you book guests you know booking guests is a pain in the butthole M and I had a podcast called burning in Hell six years ago that I started and then I started going on the road too much and I just couldn't the admin of it all was too much so now I have two pods that are with my best friend and my husband cuz I have to talk to them anyway so I might as well monetize it the the booking aspect of it feels very uh uh High School not being invited to places you know more so I think when like I'm trying to promote my Netflix special right now and I want to go on I don't know okay it's called we write at dawn it's called Rite at dawn shill Edition we Rite it Dawn does it come out July 9th oh so it's out now it's out now it's out now which is pretty exciting mle tough congratulations no thank you so much but I do think when you're trying to go on people's you feel like cuz I act I don't like doing something to like like I'm clearly I'm just doing this cuz I want to promote my pod but if when you're not promoting something you're like I actually just want have a good conversation with you the great thing about guests is it's like a coffee date you get to meet a lot of people it is it's my social life I met so many people when I had guests on my pod and this is what this is and it lets you get closer with people that you that are just acquaintances and you could ask the weirdest [ __ ] questions and you're like it's for Content where if you asked it over coffee they'd be like okay it's Tuesday that's an interesting take from you because like a lot of your videos are that on the street with strangers true so you also kind of get that but you you could walk away whenever you want but you know the one thing about my videos I don't know if everyone knows it not that I'm like cheating but they're all comedians so it's cuz I would just be hanging out at the stand all night oh I've seen a lot of people on there that I'm like oh I've seen them and of them a lot of them I don't every one of them is somebody they're all standup comedian I actually at First wanted to just interview men cuz I want to learn about men and kind of you know that's my purpose to understand the male species and the I would get like a finance bro who's like smoking a Sig he's drunk next day be like like hey take me out of the video I want people to want to be in the videos but I told the standups I was like don't try to be funny like I really want to have these the question is going to be funny regardless and let's be like Earnest about it don't like block the bit and they were like let's do it and then I've just it's just I hang out at the stand and I do my spots and in between you're hanging out with all these fun funny people and it kind of worked um if we remember and there's time um I would like to after you say that swipe to you doing on the street and then revealing you talking to different people doing Earnest Impressions will that work for you does that make sense kind of okay um you know it said you say your mission is to understand men can I tell you something that's going to make you like I I don't know I don't know what it's going to make you it but people want to understand men and people want to understand women the truth is it's very simple we just want to be seen same with women mhm and when we keep talking about men versus women I think not good I think we're the same we should all become her maites that's when you have sex with both yes are you I could be I like that thank you congratulations on your special thank you and I want to make sure that I'm clear when I say that when it didn't feel good that isn't has nothing to do with you it has to do with uh I don't like that part of this yes and I don't want to talk about it too much but I don't like it and then you reach out to people and we're in a situation that I'm in with a lot of people where we follow each other but we've never met we don't have a it's by definition a superficial relationship so like and it didn't take a lot of effort to follow each other so we don't know if we're really in it for the long haul it didn't take a lot of effort but I think you're really funny so like it could have been an unfollow thank you I think you're very funny too thank you thank you so much um but like when somebody asks me I say I I no or yes what I have learned so you'll straight up be like no thank you yeah it it won't be just no thank you I'll give a reason see I'll be like let me know a time and then when they tell me the time I don't say anything so when that stuff happens I don't know how to read oh are you just busy and you didn't get to it or are you make an excuse and I the benefit of the doubt is oh she just didn't get to it yes but after it happens a few times then it gets to the point where I'm like I also feel like I don't want to keep ask like then I'm putting you in a position so valid because I realize now I do that with the people I do and don't want to go in the pods I do the same thing and I do think that ultimately when things are meant to work out let go and let God as I said which is the theme of the podcast that's my mom said about this dog I almost got a different dog and I was so upset that I couldn't and the same day I found him great story very spicy and in it's funny because in my head I have a list of people who I'm like I really want to do their pods so I wasn't thinking much of it I just was like I know when I'm available I will go on his pod so you didn't know that God was rooting for us are you religious or is this a fun thing you do I'm atheist that means you have sex with both yes Dead Alive yes gotcha the a the before the aftermath um put up a a picture um I'm talking just the the Eminem um slim Shany do you uh wait why did you bring up Space Jam in the beginning cuz asking what kind of cup you wanted Oh I thought you were just saying kind of movie I liked you thought I was asking I thought you just were like what's your movie Vibe and I was like let's get into it I get it cuz you know when people ask your movie type everyone's like sha Shank Redemption and everyone's like okay you're you're important I say Space Jam I understand your point of view on making fun of people who think they're important while also understanding why Shank Redemption is one of the best where does that put me just a self-work king AK I'm a sack M can't get mad at that what about that boy oh he's your little prince he's your little prince so you're here doing a little press run yeah I'm only here for like three days just for pods pods shooting one random thing who knows I'm you know I'm a New York City rat I don't really understand this town everyone's so phony here so I try to come for short amounts of time because everyone's like fake and nice to me and I don't stay long enough for to see the real now you now you don't like fake nice like if somebody says to you hey do you want to meet up you wouldn't like say yes let's do it and then ignore them that's very La in New York they'll just tell it how it is yes let me pull up our DMS yes yes but I was honest I was honest that I was going to meet up with you um there are people that I really want on my podcasts that have reached out to me numerous times uh and I say here's where I'm available and then they they couldn't I couldn't and then there's some time where I could and then we have times and then they don't they just didn't show up no excuse me it wasn't like I'm sitting here but then like then like a week before two people I could think of the day of yeah and that makes me it's like you asked me I know and also like the thing with comedians I feel like it's a very comedian thing to do where it's like oh I like I just slept in I'm sorry let's do it next time and you're like it's okay I didn't plan my whole week around this one interview it's fine because I'm I'm chill cuz we're we have a silly job doesn't matter it's like some Comics I think could have such big careers if they responded to emails you know what I say when somebody says something like that to me I go uh I understand uh I did block the day for this so that's a bummer I don't give him an easy out I like that because you you do set boundaries for yourself which I definitely could see Burning Bridges potentially but also keeping your energy um correct around you do you have examples of boundaries Burning Bridges which by the way great name for a special have you are committed to it yet or maybe you don't even talk about that stuff that would make sense you know what's so funny coming up with a a name for a special was the hardest part for me I think you either know it immediately or you'll never know it so then I've every day I've just been thinking of like idioms or like two words that have like a a rhymey fun feeling to it and I just write it down yep I have a I have 150 special names in my phone right now this for the one that's already filmed yeah and then I chose it and I still will put down special names if I ever do a special again I feel like I people who aren't comedians I could have them relate to this very quickly coming up with a screen name yes yes cuz it's it represents your whole [ __ ] life everyone's going to judge you by that moment and you're like is this me I'm sorry I don't remember cuz I know you made a sh like a j by sh what's the real name of the title it's we ride at dawn is that is that a punch line in the special so there was a there's like a meme going around and it's from a movie yeah before my time where they're like we write a DA yes with a zero 220 years old you look incredible no I know you know what you don't even need the ice we ride a d zoom in and I still move my face like Nob dogs 220 oh I would meant zoom in oh so we ride it Dawn we ride it dawn it's a it's like we ride at dawn like it's very exciting I have a a joke about how I think if we want better gun safety the only people that should be allowed to have guns are the girls and I joke how like we'd lose our guns in the Uber and like all this stuff and then I I yell we ride at dawn I kind of added that in to make it come together not to show you guys how the sausage was made but it worked I think it worked you're get making me think of uh of I would like an idea of doing uh uh naming it something that you close a special with but it doesn't have to do with you do your special blah blah blah and then like if I want the name to be you know uh goblins are a diamond's best friend or whatever uh where I do my special and then I go thank you um but before I say good night let me just say goblins are a diamond's best friend I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry buddy I was yelling for the audio only um and then just go I think I just want to make that my special name and that's how it closes that could be fun you just like make a side note just murmur it under your breath after like a big joke but let people know that that's the name of the special yeah um I didn't know how I wanted this to be the my special name I didn't know to put in here was like just but it's there cuz I feel like when people when there's name I can't hear you one sec go ahead when there's a name of the special and then people see the comic say the name they get so happy they're like that was it yeah that was that was originally a Family Guy joke and then it's been memeified with uh with Leonardo from uh here I come here I come oh uh Once Upon a Time in Highwood have you SE like where he's pointing the screen Family Guy made a joke where uh Peter I think Peter liked he goes I love when you could hear the name of the movie in the and then they go it does suck though I feel like some movies are so good and they could be ruined by a bad title or some titles I think make the movie all right I I get what you're saying and I have a great movie title in mind and I'm curious if you think it makes it or could have done better I think this is the best example ever mhm we'll hear about it right when we get back no we'll say right here that is the movie Prometheus huh hard to spell I free thinks hard to spell true do you know do you know how to how far how far let's see who can get further protheus oh Pro Smart I already I'll look it up after let's see who can get closer Prometheus yeah I feel like one of those little children whose parents are like don't [ __ ] this up um but it's okay if you do p r o m t h e o u s admittingly I'm probably St take from you a little bit M um Prometheus Pro p r o m e e t h i s is that what you said oh you said I I Prometheus it's probably I us there's so many things that I type in and I can't even get it close enough by typing in that I'm dictating diarrhea diarrhea all the time Prometheus p r o m e t h u s we both are wrong I added know God I'm [ __ ] embarrassed do you do you talk do you get embarrassed no never rarely that's my that's my only superpower is never or rarely I think um cuz I've disappointed myself so much in my life that that like little things do not embarrass me a great title I am so disappointed in myself so does that mean you you still get disappointed but you're not sh ashamed of it I think people being afraid of being embarrassed is like the number one thing that prevents people from living their dreams I talk about it all the time I think I talk about on here how I um uh being uncomfortable mhm uh has uh uh and being selfish like I have the worst PR like why is it so bad to be thinking about me yeah and why is it so bad for me to be uncomfortable yeah or they'll be like don't be afraid to be cringey be afraid to cringe that's like a thing going around in girl world right now but I do think embarrassment is something that you feel that you assume other people are feeling and if you put it out there enough they will feel embarrassed I guess for you like I just it's not an emotion I get I think I had a very I have a very funny dad who would always try to embarrass me in front of my friends and we would just be like that's [ __ ] hilarious like like no no one embarrasses everyone's just being themselves I really think my only success is comedy is in comedy is cuz I for some reason don't feel embarrassment I get embarrassed sometimes what makes you embarrassed um I have to think about I'm sure I could come up with an example in a moment but before we even get to that I wanted like say that the the reason I brought that up is is um it doesn't happen much and when I do it the feeling is like I don't I don't know if I've developed the tools to deal with it because I haven't had it enough or is it really this bad and this is what people feel all the time and I'm just grateful I don't but the reason I don't feel embarrassed often is from what you said like this is what it is yeah so why and isn't that comedy like whenever anything weird happens on stage because everyone's like oh I'm so afraid to say a joke that doesn't work I'm like that's the funniest thing is when it doesn't work and then you state the the obvious like oh the priest joke made everyone upset that's valid I was there we're there we all experienced that together and that's funny sure you're talking about just the acknowledgement the acknowledgement or like when something embarrassing happens to you you know someone else would have been embarrassed by that and then once you raise awareness of that we actually all closer because of it and that's Humanity deep um comedians talking about what they do is a definition of humanity I like that it's relatable I don't get embarrassed from telling a joke that doesn't do well it's not as as uh uh as zoomed in as that when I feel it it's it's it's um feeling a shame if it is embarrassment in this it's maybe more shame than embarrassment shame is a [ __ ] up emotion I deal shame yeah yeah cuz shame is like you it's inflicted on yourself like embarrassment is like other people think I'm stupid where shame is like you piece of [ __ ] you should you're I'm not happy with you um I thought that uh uh like the the felt thought about like the difference between being laughed at and laughing with is is uh I mean it's it's not a blanketed statement of course pardon me but like there are there are people that like if you're in on it and okay with it right like if if somebody trips and falls and people go hahaa or Nelson would you know haha it's like oh no they're making fun of me but if you think it's funny too then we're all laughing at the same thing yes where that where that where that break is is when I see why you think it's funny because you happen to be somebody who thinks it's funny when people are hurt mhm I see your point of view and I disagree age with it so it's not that like it's an ego issue it's just that I don't share in that sensibility now if I fall and I didn't get hurt or I didn't breu in something like so be it but like if you hurt yourself and people are still so that difference is like you're wrong perspective yeah but but but if you're laughing at me I'm not embarr I'm not embarrassed you're just an [ __ ] yes the shame is when when like in this hypothetical you're somebody that keeps falling and like I hate that I'm this person and I'm embarrassed not that they're you fall one more time yeah and and then you're in your head about it so oh and that's anxiety and then you're afraid of falling you're thinking of your past of falling and you're like why can't I just be present when I'm not oh I fell that's what they say in for Al and for alcoholics it like have the courage to uh know when you could stop yourself from falling and the acceptance of like God something about God and fault and like you know like oh my God I do have to say not to make this turn in a weird Direction but what about the people who those emotions like embarrassment and shame is the only way they can come yeah um then I'm glad that that they found a way of of controlling that otherwise negative feeling and I do think that you know you got to see a sex therap you don't have to but it might benefit you because coming is awesome um why have to because also why do you have to be embarrassed so much because don't want you lose sensitivity to that yeah but like what happens that made that your Kink I guess it was a coping mechanism like you know what maybe this is kind of hot that she's laughing at me I don't maybe this is my actually I like it I I hate it so much that whoa I like it if I'm not mistaken I feel like that kind of stuff is is that's where they learned what love is they were shamed from from growing up of like the people that were supposed to be their support system like oh my blah blah blah would shame me like so like you're seeking that feeling and it's like miswired um or miswired whatever you're intoh and uh but the the embarr the the the embarrassment of like these people think this about me if I don't think that way about me I'm not embarrassed I just we're on the on the same page yeah sometimes I feel like I could be like am I supposed to be embarrassed and I'll ask someone about a situation they'll be like yeah those people are [ __ ] [ __ ] then I'm like yeah yeah but I could have gone the way of being like I'm a loser do you ever ask those [ __ ] um no no no I'm going to solicit a a a tool for you it's not necessary you seem to be doing fantastic with your with your uh self Lov here strong word but I'm sorry you seem to be doing well enough yeah but like if I'm someplace uh and a barista is rude to me I will ask am I I I feel am I miss like I the way you just said this am I missing something did I say something that made you feel a certain way and I also I I I say like you could tell me like I sometimes I lack awareness with things I don't it what what just happened yeah I'll do that yeah I mean that's good I'll if someone's really being a dick then I become really nice and I'll be like I got this I'll be like thank you so like I'll be like obnoxious ly nice that's the only way I deal with it sure um because it's like they're just projecting their own [ __ ] onto you so then you try to kind of confuse them a little it's like dealing with a Heckler exactly but what about those moments where you're like I'm not sure was I in the wrong or what am I missing like when you ask your friends they're going to come from a bias oh yeah they're going to going support their Queen yes yes hail yes that's a people say that with the word Queen royalty uh Ace flush but it's true group mentality is a thing you have to be it's dangerous where you know you're just gossiping with your friends next thing you know you're like make a very bad plan because everyone thinks it's good because we all are just trying to have a good time together that's why you got to ask the Barista which is the name of my new special out on Netflix July 9th ask the Barista July 9th yes that's my grandpa my well he's still my grandpa right if he passed he wasn't it's not like that was my grandpa it is my grandpa but it's not your grandpa's birthday anymore because he cannot celebrate it anymore but can it still be it's still his birthday even if he doesn't celebrate it like don't don't uh Jehovah Jehovah's Witnesses still have birth dates whoa yeah that's good merch oh that's my next special to Jehovah's at birthdays there's a difference between celebrating and acknowledging its existence for example a lot of Jews believe that Jesus was born just not that he was the Savior mhm perspective yes do you think Jesus just felt embarrassment yeah I know he did how I had him on the Pod oh cut to it I don't know we'll figure something out it's bber um he was human so so he felt human yeah was wasn't that the thing I he Flesh and Blood I have I honestly have not caught up on the I'm behind on the Bible behind on it meaning like you haven't finished it I haven't finished what have you I haven't started oh that's misleading to say behind I lied do you watch Game of Thrones I'm a little behind on it you know I had drama with Game of Thrones because I was seeing some guy and Game of Thrones was about to air like season whatever four or five he's in it he's like let's watch I'm like yeah I'm like let's watch yeah oh I will bleep the name if you don't want to say who who is it it was it was a guy I met on Craigslist hey all right which one am I we doing two different ones one that says blue chw wants the entire country rock hard yeah this episode is sponsored by Blue I don't know which one to read start over Okay I got to make it bigger well if you want to make it bigger too blue Chu wants the entire country rock hard they told me that's the mission blue no no blue Chu wants the entire country rock hard I did all of that already oh which one am I supposed to read you're so you're not present mom blue Chu wants the entire country I know I read that part now we're going to start all over again all right don't yeah but where's the part that I'm supposed to start at right where you just said freaking just said that though I'm just a little right now well if you want to be a little right now they will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house till every tent is pitched till every Rod is raised discover your options at blue.com luchu wants the entire country I just read all of that but he he told me to start at the the beginning the beginning of the year start at the beginning blue true wants blue true wants the entire country rock hard rock hard we should have done this before she had the edible they told me that's the mission they will you just got to read it for B you can't start over you've started over so many times can't see my eyes are tearing I'm sorry that little thatal you gave me k kick in and we've got a special deal for our listeners try blueo free free when you use our promo code t t Ys so at checkout just pay $5 shipping that's blu.com promo code tyso to receive your first free month visit blue.com for more details and important safety information and we thank blue for sponsoring the podcast this show is sponsored by better help Mom sometimes you get a little bit anxious I'm just a little confused how knowing I took an edible you want me to explain anything logically but I'll try you have a little food on your lip do I a little food a little pretzel yeah sorry I need a little help um when you take an edible no forget the edible but when you have better help and you can talk to somebody then you pour it all out it cleanses your soul you feel so much better sounds like you're comparing therapy to taking a dump no I'm not you were saying it clears you out it clears you out it cleanses you it cleanses your soul bow movement does not cleanse my soul excuse me that all right therapy is important not just because you have somebody to talk to but you also have somebody who could listen and offer non-bias information some people don't want to go to therapy because oh I'm a big strong man dad what do you have to say to big strong man little pigs get petted big pigs get slaughtered that's right mom do you have anything else and I have to be honest with you it took me 68 years to decide that I needed a little help and yes and we thank therapy for done for her now I never skip therapy day with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com tyo to get 10% off your first month that's betterhelp.com H lp.com it was it was a guy I met on Craigslist that was in Game of Thrones no not in it we were that that was very La of you I asked was he in it you said yes oh no like he in it like he was into it that was yeah yeah yeah sure two people from two different worlds colliding no he was into watching Game of Thrones right that was his Kink yeah and you used to date off Craigslist well there was a time you didn't no no no judgment I didn't know that I mean I I don't even wouldn't even get a I don't even know if I'd get a table off of Craigslist well Craigs List was a good place out of college in New York where people find rooms so it's like hey there's people living here we have like two rooms we work in finance or we work in this I'm just remembering I did back then I did get my f my first spot when I was moving to La I drove here and I I found on Craigslist in the belly room uh it was a bringer show oh my God and that's where I got my and I'm like I'm doing a show at The Comedy Store yeah if Craig Craig got you the spot he's the booker huh who would have thought I think it was Vargas Mason to be honest shout out Vargas cut him then I have to call him oh sorry so anyway we're watching season 4 he's all pumped up he's in maybe the best season of of them all and I'm watching it and then I mentioned to him like is this a spoiler alert so you got to tell them no no spoiler I was just like you know I I haven't seen the other Seasons lost his [ __ ] mind he was like you need to during the week start from season 1 to catch up because it'll ruin so then I got really confused because I was like watching season 1 while also watching I got very confused and there was a lot of blood sex but I appreciate it it was a red wedding a lot of blood a lot of blood so then he was basically like you can't know which people are still alive and but I was just supporting like a man in the Arts huh like I supported his passion and then he it's one of those things where you show someone a YouTube video and you're like not happy that they're not like losing their mind over it that was his whole thing with me in Game of Thrones there's a big there's a big psychological thing with with that and like expectations you have with people that's it's really actually dark you can't enjoy the movie when you're watching it through someone else's lens unless you can unless you can unless you can but if you can't you can't if you can't it's it's two types of people I think some people you can't care too much cuz they'll never like I'll really rewind and be like you definitely missed what just happened cuz that was insane also with Game of Thrones I never saw the last episode well you haven't seen the first three seasons well I I watched it all and actually really enjoyed it but then the last episode I heard was [ __ ] so I'm not going to put myself through that oh okay are you mad are you confused um uh are you shaming me I'm feeling are you shaming me I'm being honest with you I'm I'm feeling judgmental and maybe that's not fair but also we both have strong points of view and we're able to share and receive I think pretty easily but yeah I think that that's uh if you watched every episode and then somebody or some people said this is no good and then you said [ __ ] it that's that same mentality of like that that mob mentality you were talking about watch the thing is you watch eight seasons less one episode I don't like being forced to finish anything you're seeing it as being forced I'm receiving this as you stubbornly not doing something not because you don't want to do it but because of external factors well and for that you might be a redneck I what did you just call me it's um there's a a joke that I came up with do you call people white trash on the road cuz I started doing it no and and then I'll be like I'm white trash I think some I've said it sometimes I think because it made me laugh in when in um in uh Wedding Crashers I throw white trash around a lot it's let me have one slur oh I use tons of them yeah what were we talking about there was just some Cuts in there what what were we talking about I'm not I I did not watch the end of Game of Thrones oh white trash no redneck is this this joke I came up with where I talk about like there's two types of people you're either this or you might be a redneck and sometimes I like to deliver it like this you might be a redneck and that's genus where'd you come up with it I was on the road I was doing this thing and there was some guy that was like uh you know and I'm like what are you a redneck people lost it and I have shirts that say you might be a redneck cuz I do I was like making a joke a pretty high level joke about Mountain do and real quick highle joke explain this to me like it was nuanced there was a lot there was layers there was comparisons um you've never once laughed at one of my jokes that's not true I laugh at your jokes all the time okay what about when I said Mountain do more like Mountain don't more like Mountain don't so do mountain de mountain and whenever I feel like it's not working I all I have to do is because I'll be like who drinks Mountain Dew and I'll joke like it's liquid Chernobyl whatever and then I'll be like white trash [ __ ] and I get the pop every now and then if it's too white trash is that a pun on on the soda popd yeah it was you're saying there's a line if you do too much white trash now you've become a bully not too much white trash if they're actually all white trash who's white trash is it locations or is a people is it more demographic or more Geographic Geographic where is white trash it's in towns that aren't the main city but they think they're a city people that don't live in LA New York hearing this they're not in the main city no like as in like there's a main city in each state and then there's like a you're talking about white trash like it's a WNBA like you know it's like if it's if it's not like one of the NBA this is the thing I support white trash we all have white trash in us I said to somebody earlier today cuz my doggy is a a Chihuahua and a Pug and uh and she said oh my I have Chihuahua too but there's no pug in there I said we all have some pug in there I didn't that didn't make sense but she goes true all had we've all had white trash in us at one point I've never been yep yep yep so you'll block it but it'll come back Game of Thrones you don't want to be told what to do you were like oh group mentality no I don't care if people liked or not I was done oh well that's different done yeah I you said you heard it was bad so you didn't want to watch it I heard it was bad but it was also just like you know when people are like this show gets so good you got to just go through seven seasons and the a season will [ __ ] blow your mind I'm like no yeah and obviously Game of Thrones is not one of those shows but it got to the point where I was just like I feel too many nights I was forced to do this and I want to put my foot down okay and it's it's my own thing that I I did myself and then I like to bring it up sometimes just to see how people react cuz it really pisses people off sometimes if you don't want to watch it so be it if you don't want to watch it cuz people said it was bad cuz I'll tell you something I've watched it four times the series four times and different experience each time so the first time I was I was disappointed with season 8 not like other people I mean it's hard to make stuff and the show is is almost perfect so like if it's it is what it is you need to end it um and then when I watched it the second time and thereafter like this isn't that big of a deal okay cuz my my husband his mom died not to bring up death but she loved Game of Thrones do she still have a birthday I have to check Al so I'm sorry sorry I'll I'll call later so he um I'll call her in heaven so she died before the finale and he said he's so happy she died before seeing that crap finale and then you said I'll never watch it I'll never watch it for her that's actually Ro romantic yeah it's actually there's a great that part of the the last episode is that thing oh it's something happening to some so they wouldn't it's actually you'll never watch it I'm also jugging that's not I just trying to get you to be like am I petting your dog like a villain the whole time I noticed that earlier when you were doing this cuz I I have a cat so that's how you pet cats but we also Foster pimples cuz we're better than most people you say that because uh it's it's cool it's it's kind to care about P because they're they're like the Jews of today like everyone's like also I said it because people be like oh you're a cat person but then you go but I do [ __ ] with pimples and they're like yeah yeah she's a she's good she's a good one yeah I like all animals it's kind of like uh there's probably people out there it's like I like a woman who's not afraid to foster a pull you know like a real woman but the thing is it's basically my husband does it I support it I'm not taking him for a walk at three this dog I will take any he's perfect is I want a little Chihuahua to take on the road with me my husband's not letting me so divorce is inevitable I thought you don't like being told what you can and cannot do I know and you know what I'm going to do it I'll tell you that I'm probably going to do it but I have a cat that's the thing I have a cat who doesn't get along with other animals so he so lucky if this cat liked other animals I'd have a [ __ ] I'd have a giraffe I would have a rhinoceros I would have ferrets business must be good big plays I mean no to go from giraffe and rhinoceros to ferrets instead of the other way around well I don't discriminate what pet do you think is white trash I don't look at people the way you look at people that kind of I don't I I think white trash is just a mentality white trash is a thing white trash is a thing and I don't think of it from a as a place standpoint I look at white trash is a religion more um and then everybody has a different definition of white trash so like to me the white trash isn't living in a trailer park no that's too on the nose that's you know s back to after or put up an aftermath picture I white trash is this white trash is a stigmatizing term and I do look at it is a way of like a type of person that but like calling it white trash I I don't I more call it trash and I'm not even talk about the color of skin cuz there are people that are trash I actually came with this idea I might want to do a podcast about it like like there are two types of people are you trash or are you not trash are you garbage that would be a good now I would call it trash or not okay are you are you garbage trash trash or not are you garbage would never work no no yeah too many syllables but uh yeah there are people that are trash there's people that are trash you know who's trash the person that laughs at somebody who hurt themsel mhm trash is the person who like oh God not to bring up the airport but just the person who's thinks they first up to go into the plane regardless of what their group is you know there's going to be a sticking point here with you and me uhoh um I'm going to want to do whatever I want always and the plain one I don't do because the people that are supposed to go in front of me they need to go in front of me for something so you're not going to block them uh no um but then I'm next so I'm fine yes I just talked about this on a podcast I don't remember which one but I I was at a play okay humble brag um you think you're cultured cuz you went to one [ __ ] play and it had nothing to do with the story you just brought it up I go to plays all the time and you brought it you brought it up [Music] again yeah yeah so [Applause] good great opening night right okay well um I went to a play and Phantom of the Opera I do love going to shows and plays but I go to like I usually I I not that kind of stuff somebody had tickets I never get defensive don't get defensive I want to play with you but I'm also being serious I'm not being defensive I was judging Phantom of the Opera um have you seen it of course you have no the guy's a rapist and it's crazy that that's a popular thing it's crazy I thought fan of the Opera was a guy that was scarred and it's like oh there's a beauty on the inside the guy was manipulating you should do a bit about that it's very funny thank you so much something about plays um so I'm there and uh uh and I was going to the bathroom and uh picture a wall here right the bathroom is here and the line goes behind the wall so if you're on this side of the line you can't see this side of the line right and so I really have to go pee and there's a whole bunch of urinals but it's I don't know making this number up 115 people oh so I am on this side looking and I see oh here's the line and it goes that way so so these people can't see me I talk to this person but can you start over are you being serious cuz I can just like like speed it I love that you said I love it so much I love that you zoned out and you told me and you were still like instead of tending honestly my eyes are getting a little watery totally get what you're saying and yes I can I I lost you and then I was having trouble getting it back I get it and I could do it very quick I wanted to cut in line thank you once the geographical stuff happen and the people that I were cutting the people that I'm cutting wouldn't be able to even see it you could have gone away with it yeah imagine around there you can't see it and the line is going like this I'm talking to the people right there Y and I go to up to a guy and I go no of course I shouldn't this is I'm thinking of the plane of course no but I go hey man I got to can I just go in front of you and he goes absolutely not and I go as if as if I asked my brother if I could borrow $5 I went okay I could self entitled believe it if somebody comes up to me though yeah and I was like hey man and not like this I'm going in front your good deed of the day that will get you to heaven you go yeah go in front I got you yeah sure sure but I just know what it's like just hook me just give me a free thing just give me a let me something good will happen to you next I don't do it for that reason I do it for karma I'm very karmic I don't do anything just like cuz it's good I do it so that good things happen to me in the future cuz I have anxiety I don't know you yet how much of that is real all so you do good things okay like I used to try to like if I had like I played tennis I had a tennis match coming up and someone put trash on the ground I would like go and pick it up CU I'm like I need to win my match tonight not the worst reason to do nice things what at the end of the day nice things are happening um I don't care particularly about the environment that much that I would you know run to the trash but I was trying to manipulate my future um I want to go back to the line thing but I say that out loud so I remember how do you feel about when you see somebody litter oh trash uhhuh trash I almost broke up with a now X not because of that um she threw gum out the window oh and I I I I I what are you what are you doing was it in like a forest we were driving through the forest was it a jungle we were driving through the forest and yeah yeah cuz a squirrel could choke on that you know I I grew up in that New York City where if someone litters there's always someone like the [ __ ] neighborhood's gone people don't [ __ ] care about this neighbor they used to 20 years ago they used to care about this neighborhood no one would ever th look at this they don't care about the place they live I love this character so much I'm Jing you're good it's me it's who I am I'm basically an old retired man um from the Bronx I I didn't grow up in New York I have a lot of family from there you give there New York Vibes thank you people say it all the time thank you if you were like had less Street Smart New York people are not Street Smart no they are you're a New Yorker if they weren't Street Smart oh you're saying you're saying I but if uh uh but less street smart not very un street smart of you to mess that up street smart people don't necessarily know books right I think we're agreeing uhhuh you don't think I'm Street Smart I don't think you're not street smart I think you're you're sensitive C very I think you're too sensitive that's what I mean too interesting how not not as a human but maybe dealing with New York [ __ ] all the time I'm the one that tells a barista I'm sorry are we having a problem yeah we don't have time for that in New York no one has time you would get cursed out by the person behind you you're out of your mind that's that's what I do the person behind me is loving it actually true I like when someone speaks for the group and is like what's your [ __ ] problem so you could be a hero actually in New York you could be a hero this is what I do I am a street smart hero my special can I guess where you're from sure Maryland no what but what made you guess that cuz it's like still East Coast but like a little more peacefulness right I'm from Cleveland OH and boy are my arms tired why oh I didn't see that for you isn't it interesting that even you could be wrong sometimes wrong is like a frame of mind yeah the guy saying no to me cutting him right or wrong the guy saying oh wait can you start that story let's say let's say you're in line the bath in line right and a girl comes up anyone cut me and a girl comes up to you and not cuz I want them to like me I want to be the I'm going to be that parent like I'm the cool parent I'm the cool babysitter but like I'm not good at it but like the kid now knows the f word cuz I let him watch that is cool yeah Shank Redemption yes I feel like you and I have a lot of things in common but the intentions are coming from very different places yes is that good or bad good for me okay it doesn't matter what the intention is as long as we meet in the middle could disagree more huh it doesn't matter what the intention is okay what's your intention let me ask you this do you drive no I'm a New Yorker well oh I thought cuz you're a woman so it is say thank you for service is actually cuz I'm a woman too could you imagine this then you're driving and somebody cuts in front of you and you're like like the entitlement but if this person Cuts in front of you and then realizes that they did it and just gives a little bit of a wave when somebody gives you a wave it changes everything it's and even though it's the same action it's different intention you're right usually am that's what she said it's but is that intention or is that just you like being a little more socially acceptable with what you tried to pull out like what if you had the same intention I'm gonna [ __ ] this guy over but I'm put my hand up so he doesn't get mad and he's a great actor because I don't know that if somebody is trying to take advantage of me yeah if somebody cuts in front of me and doesn't say anything I'm going to be like good for you for trying but it I caught you do you know what happens though when people ask stuff for like you know they come up to you and they're like hey do you have directions or hey and I SL the line I always think what made them look at everyone here and think that's the one that's the one I'm going to get I think that there are so many things about you that are approachable oh my God is that good or bad I could I could I if I were to debate what makes you approachable and they were to say do it in the flattering side I could win the debate if they say do it in the in the in the busting her ball side I could win that one as well I would like both I don't know you well enough but you I am the person everyone goes to for directions I have zero sense of direction I feel so bad I go you know if you pull out your phone I could help you read your GPS there it is maybe they don't know how to do that sometimes that happens but it's like I almost feel bad I'm like if I was good at directions so many people would have been to their destination faster and but I know what all I think maybe is I think I have a decently resting face it's not drf yeah it's not too [ __ ] right I think some of my friends like never get approached and they're great at directions I got some friends that are great at directions nobody goes up to them no one goes up to them they I mean I I got a buddy who is so good at and who wants to tell him he he didn't grow up intuitively knowing stuff he literally studies maps and he's like one day they go up to me and I'm [ __ ] stupid and I'm just like hi um I do think I'm an easy laugher easy Smiler MH so they'll like they maybe see me laugh with a friends you also give off energy of saying repeat what you said I wasn't listening so like they could trust you oh cuz I if I ask somebody directions I'm not assuming they know but I do want them to say I don't know or here's what you're going to do CU there's some [ __ ] out here they'll just be like yeah four blocks that way figure it out and they're lying wow trash trash garbage mhm are they garbage so I go up are you garbage actually that does make sense maybe I'll use that yeah so tell them I I gave it to you though the name tell who just like the podcast people you heard it okay just want credit where credit to do sure it was my idea to do a podcast by deciding what type of people are trash or not and you help punch up the name making it are you garbage yes yeah I tagged it so then anyway that's the story so when you're like oh people like want to like cut in front of s like if I'm stealing something from somebody that's different to me if if there's nine urinals and I am slipping in it's like it's like uh if you were to Rob if you were to steal uh uh go into a bank and steal $100,000 from somebody that's not okay but if it's FDIC and it's coming out of the taxes and everybody paid a penny of this like just give me the thing yep I'm get give me the money and it's easy nobody's gonna see this nobody's gonna know you're done sorry it's easy it's easy to be like oh don't skip but then I feel like whenever it's you and like you know you're running late you got to pee you become that [ __ ] so easily so accept it when other people so I try to accept it cuz there will be a time when I'm that [ __ ] I try to think about that like yeah like at the airport but I don't think you're being an [ __ ] it's just it's hard to police that but sometimes my pee right now the amount that I have to pee is more valuable than everybody else waiting 4 seconds but this is the thing I don't want that person if I give you the spot in front of me we're not friends then like I don't talk to me the entire line oh I wanted to be like I helped you true like if they're a little Charming or we have a little banter that's fine anybody that's asking if I could cut news flash they're going to be Charming they're going to be Charming 100% 100 no say can I cut and then it's just like you're ugly do people talk to you um on the plane when you sit down like what's the percentage cuz I have a [ __ ] high percentage and it's becoming a problem EV two out of two out of four flights right not just say half two out of four I thought about it two 9 out of 18 people come up to me two out of six a lot of people and not just talk like be like we are bonding and I I I'll go into full podcast mode I'll tell my whole life I don't care but like I don't like it here's where that situation like when you tell it's that's the same thing of you telling people that you do who you do want to podcast with they don't you got to just you got to be I I look at myself like Batman and oh wow that's how I see you you're going to think that oh he's a vigilante [ __ ] but it's like it needs to be done and that's the boundaries that I talked about earlier in the Pod when you got confused but I saw the bat in your eye you when people are talking you don't have to be mean and say shut up you you you do whatever is do you just pretend you're asleep no cuz I've I've really but but wait wait wait once they start talking to you let me let me try to do that talk to me we're on a plane I'm going to try and fall asleep my kid [Music] Deborah Deborah has a new job and she I'm sorry I'm sorry are you talking to me but I think for people to get to that point where they're showing you pictures of their kids already don't have the self-awareness to care what your face looks like let me show you how to do it okay I know how to do this okay so start talking to me so Deborah has a new boyfriend and the family does s really quick are you talking to me I don't know who Deborah is I've been talking about Deborah for the last 20 minutes let me show you photo down on a plane we're start we're starting let me because I wouldn't have gotten to 20 minutes of being an okay so let me start from the beginning yeah so I'm I'm I'm sitting down I'm probably there early okay oh um you know the weather's been bad in Cleveland lately so the weather in Cleveland are you are you are you a little high no but do you want some I'm okay yeah the weather is the weather is bad yeah what are you going to Cleveland for visiting family yeah me too I have a a daughter named Deborah oh really would you see you're Ked in do you want to see let me show you Deborah where does she live in where in Cleveland you know Ohio she lives see like I would be wanting to talk to you now I know because you're a crazy person no I no the conversations I have are insane my daughter wear in Cleveland in Ohio she's a crazy person no no no I've had a guy fully started crying once about how much he loved his daughter and then told me about how he he his daughter's really liberal so she likes that he started dating trans women this is all this is the conversation I get into like they are valid but it's like I'm tired then if you don't want to have it then I wanted to show you how to get out content it's good content okay let's say you said see see but let's say it gets juicy how do you get out of it so you know I before I'm interested I want to hear what you're about to say but I just want to let you know I also I have an anal bead inside me right now well not at that point if you're going to interrupt me with that I'm going to be like listen I got to stop I don't need the bedside manner anymore I would just be like oh so you and then you have to sit with me for the whole rest of the flight gives a [ __ ] first of all I don't want to be mean I want I don't want to shut you down so the example of not shutting you down would be hey that um I want to see this picture of your daughter but I also want to say I'm trying to like get in a head space I'm just trying to relax maybe even fall asleep head space for what what kind of job do you have just for me for traveling I don't want to get anxious oh you get anxious when you travel yes you know so do I what do you do to I don't think we're on the same page I'm what I'm saying is I don't want to have to get into this too much more oh so I'm sorry if I'm being rude I'm put my headphones in more anxious yeah I'm I'm I'm feeling I'm feeling more anxious with you do you want some like a downer I have one sitting next to me can I have one just what are you talking about if I can have some of your Downer no I'm saying you are a downer I'm asking you to leave me alone and I still why would you say that to me yeah see now I'm in now I'm I would love it now then I'll would be like I'm sorry I would why would you call me a name at 9 a.m. in the morning I just wanted to have a conversation with someone do you want do you want me to answer or do you just want to keep talking because I've already told you and I'll tell you again you remind me of my dad yeah when's his [Music] birthday I don't even remember his birthday yeah it's probably because you're not paying attention to people like you're not paying attention to me I want to be left alone and I was trying to say show me a picture of your daughter which by the way I'll still take a look then it's done let me show you Deborah isn't she beautiful she is cute yeah do you want to have a daughter one day I do look these people are skilled professionals no that has never happened to you no cuz you know there's no way you said people who like my dad wherever he goes he makes a friend there's people who professionally all they do is get off on talking to stranger I'm one of them I love it when I'm in the mood yeah so the I once went on a plane and the guy behind me pokes me which is already weird don't touch me yeah this isn't Facebook then then he pulls out his ticket which is already weird why'd you print your ticket and then he goes I'm sorry I don't have my glasses what seed am I in so that but again it's already too much like you're too comfortable with me a troan horse he he he he doesn't you're saying this is his thing so I look 3B where class next to me behind you next to me okay I misunderstood I'm 3A when you said behind you while you're walking on yes we're walking on so I go oh you're next to me great sit down it's go time like he's he was talking to me from before I even sat down he was ready to go you got to just say what you want always I would like okay can I practice so I'm the talker yeah yeah um oh that's so sweet that you're traveling with a dog I really want to get a dog too yeah what's his name Alvin were you trying to remember it what were you trying to remember his name oh no I feel like I'm maybe I'm bothering you no see that's where that's there have been moments where they're like do you want to talk and I always be like no cuz I don't want them to feel bad we're making the same point why you saying no I feel like I'm bothering you're not bothering me but I am wanting to be by myself and not really chat yeah dude it's so easy to tell people how you feel just pretend everybody is me telling you about a bathroom line story you know what's also bad I don't like to lie about what I do cuz I get myself in fish holes I know this so like when you're ubering and you don't want to say I'm a comedian yeah so I'll I've done it before where I'm like oh yeah I'm like visiting the college and they're like how old are you and I'm like 32 they're like who are you visiting I'm like my sister's friend like I'll get I don't know how to lie like that and then next thing you know I'm creepy I'm being I say something weird or I'll say like oh yeah I'm in accounting and then he'll he'll somehow bring up something about comedy and then I'll start being like okay I kind of want to talk about it so like I don't I'm not one of those cool comics are like yeah I'm in business don't [ __ ] talk to me is that a cool comic yeah they're like just tell me you're in business and then when they ask you about it you go n exactly what business Ian I feel like if I tell you you're going to think I'm making a joke no really tell me what business I mean no disrespect it seriously it's my job and I don't want to get into it too much I'll tell you once but then please don't ask me too many questions yeah I'm interested what's what what business Na and then they call the police yeah I have somebody in the the back of my Uber who said none your business come on look at this dog no this dog I love this dog so much he's just like throwing his whole weight of his head into my hand he loves when his chin is on or neck is on something he'll just stay right there and I will carry him forever I feel like I have a purpose in life right now I haven't felt this kind of purpose in a long time I'm sorry taking care of this little child I mean he's you know it's interesting that you say this you haven't felt purpose in a very long time you're feeling purpose caring for a little child why don't you just care for yours I'm not calling my kids no no no no no Hannah you're inner child the child that wants to be left alone on a plane the child that is so worried about hurting other people the child that just doesn't know directions why would you bring her up why would you do that that's what we do on this podcast I think I have to go okay I'm going to do a little bit more just so people get more time out of the Pod is there anything you want to [Music] plug we actually have to fit in some ads better help how long have we I mean if you have to go you get it no I don't have to go but um no healing or inner child is important and I'm sorry if I'm vicariously doing that by petting Alvin no I think it's wonderful I think sometimes we need distractions from ourselves even if that distraction is from our thoughts yes I mean that is the only thing I need to be distracted from most of the time also we don't realize how much we obsess over ourselves it takes one second of obsessing over something else not me no no I do it the perfect amount why did you want to I didn't want or even think about any I they were just I did I just do stuff and they do you know you don't know much about me I'm because people think I'm a comedian and I'm I mean I am I didn't think you were a comedian so you know I'm a dramatic actor yeah yeah and I love it I love telling stories and I love being able to be in a position where I could help distract people from their stories through a character that you really connect with yeah yeah yeah do you speak Mandarin yeah Shay isn't that a rapper Shay oh no that's a podcast that um Cat Williams went on oh sh Shay from Shannon Sharps gotcha no or should I say niq do you know my husband speaks Mandarin we should do he and I should do a mandarin episode do you speak Mandarin [Laughter] [Music] yeah la do you know what laai is uh that's when when uh like somebody's like like when I take my glasses off I blow ey so stupid I'm not stupid I have a learning disability do you think that do you think when people have like two Awards like two anything it's like why all the time I see people with two Awards I'm like why I was even thinking like I have a Netflix special coming out and people like but I have more than two yeah yeah yeah I okay so I was like why would I do another Netflix special like how greedy am I like you did one huh why why try to get these people have like 10 Netflix specials it's like we got the point do you disagree huh actually I lasted so long I lasted so much longer than I thought I was going to no do what you want to do how many Netflix specials do you have like three quarters uh so this is going to be your first when it's out yeah well it's it's like 50 minutes great why is the hour so holy I feel this way about I feel this way about started about pants [Music] too how uh Native American so I like these are elastic okay like for if you get pregnant yes and I typically like to wear sweatpants or shorts um I have some sensitivities to feelings and textures and such oh same like an itchy tag lose my mind you don't like an itchy tag I ripping out itchy tags is my number one hobby I'll rip out every itchy tag ever I I don't mean to poke F I was more making a joke who likes an itchy tag oh I missed it well know Street smarts or I thought you were so crazy that you liked an ity tag would you say that I was crazy or that I was believable thought I had to sneeze pardon me what are we talking about you you're sensitive to um oh the pants things so when I go places including when I went to fan of the Opera um I I was somebody else's guest and I I have sweatpants that there's not ice cream stains on them okay I'm going to look fine MH and like he I said can I wear cuz I'm can I just wear the pants and he said no I've told this story before too but I literally not just watery eyes I cried in my closet CU there sometimes why did you go in the closet um I'm just ashamed of my sexuality yeah but also that's where I keep my pants so uh I had to go because he didn't accept you for who you are he wanted he he felt well that's what I'm saying some people feel like it's disrespectful you have to wear P do you do you ever wear shorts on stage that's like a big no no when you act like you're a comedian act like you're a comedian well you're an actor I'm a comedian and an actor I'm not just a comedian who told you that it's my my profession okay like I I the the the the money I make comes from uh drama acting comedy acting and stand up on stage and podcasting selling and collecting cards so me too people will say we put on pants please and then and then there's levels to that too where it's like okay I'll put on blue jeans and like you can wear jeans but not blue jeans what the blue jean do yeah the blue jean is also who decided blue jeans should even be a thing who's like let's take the most uncomfortable fabric put it on Britney Spears and then see how much it sells did Britney Spears wear blue jeans a lot she wore blue jeans with Justin Timberlake that was a traveling pant I don't I I'm not going to I don't know throw it up I don't know what she what that means the she was in a movie with something about the sister of the traveling par not all women are the same Britney Spears wasn't in that movie no how do you spell [Laughter] Prometheus Justin wore Jorts no not jords The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Britney Spears in that no are you sure one thing I do know is Britney Spears was not a part of that okay are you going to say sorry for what for interrupting my story and then calling me a [ __ ] liar yeah I didn't remember I did that I'm so sorry I called you a liar I'll have to look back at this where I called you a liar I didn't realize I did that if I called you a liar I'm so sorry I called you a liar I'm sorry I called you a name thank you I thought I was questioning uh something that I wasure questioning if I was telling the truth uhhuh therefore insinuating I was a [ __ ] liar so when you're on the plane with somebody and you don't want to talk to them are you going to tell them the truth no okay what are you drinking water why was it like orangey was it you so scared was my water orange it had like a um copper could it be that you were seeing like I would be worried if I were you [ __ ] I'm calling you liars I'm drinking orange copper what am I a redneck respectfully I'm going to interview you now for a second so what got you into comedy like what's your relationship like with your parents and how many people have you slept with um it's the answer to all those is kind of right it's [ __ ] up my relationship with my parents is 94 I feel like getting your number is difficult though cuz as a girl you get a lot of half seies or like quarters like a lot of people lost their virginity like halfway at first a lot of people lost their virginity halfway do you consider sex only if you come no then what's Halfway halfway is just like in the beginning it's hard to go in like it just gets difficult and you're like just like he didn't nothing H nothing Happ was penetration like it went in a little but like we'll put up a clip we'll put up a [ __ ] so if he went inside of you that's sex right well that's the thing is it if he goes in for a second and then comes out M it's you had sex for one second I I think you eat a potato chip if you only have what I think [ __ ] body counts I think we should just do the cumulative hours the yeah the amount of pumps how many pumps if you had cuz some people will be like oh this girl's such a [ __ ] she had sex with six six guys in three years cuz she's single and then there's one girl who's getting railed every day by her boyfriend who's looser um that doesn't get you that's not how it works and you know that you don't get loose from the amount of times that you [ __ ] that's what boys told me well I'd like to get boys on the podcast and talk about it that's what the patriarchy taught me you you think that people would think that having sex with six people in three years makes you a [ __ ] that's I feel like that would make them that's right do rednecks have a lot of sex I don't know probably right have you met a redneck before probably I don't ask are there rednecks in Ohio sure isn't that where you're from yeah I'm from Northeast Ohio though oh see think you're better than other areas of Ohio why do so many and I'm I'm going to say something that's going to be your dos his his eyes are rolling behind his head his eyes are what rolling behind his head he's so happy he's such a cuddle baby he's like this is the greatest day he's a big fan does he do this to most people um so I have if you're going to hold him he'll he'll stay with you yeah yeah but like anyone not as you especially okay good yeah you especially cuz I like yeah I want to feel special excuse me you're talking about how you think parts of Ohio are less than other parts uh there are some parts that are like I live like 20 minutes west of me is downtown Cleveland 20 minutes 30 minutes east of me is Amish Country cows oh uh so like it's kind of like California other states are this way too but like Orange County to Sacramento it's like they're not world yeah to the outside oh they all live in California but like you don't go there you know so there's so many different Northeast Ohio like I grew up with a lot of Jewish people black people and Asian people and I went then to college at a place that was an hour away that there were some people there that never met a Jew before yep and like so how did you like tell them oh I didn't they knew uh they knew cuz when we got coffee I said to the Brie star I'm sorry what's the problem what are we what am I missing here are you mad at me yeah it seems like you're being it seems like you're upset what happened I mean this so nicely cuz I I'm half I'm like 40% Jewish cuz I'm from New York which is like 7 70% of what your specialist yes yes it's called Jew I'm sorry I was more making a joke that you have 80% go on keep it in but it was a big Miss in the that's my fault I didn't even do the math right go on I was going with it and I appreciate you yes and um yes and um oh yeah so I thought all the Jewish people went to Brooklyn how did you guys end up in Ohio my mom's from Long Island originally then Manhattan never Brooklyn so the vicinity um my mom moved to California when she was 11 uh my grandfather uh for my my grandfather's work and then my mom moved to San Francisco and my dad is from Cleveland went to San Francisco for work the way my mom tells this my M my my parents met on a Friday I won't tell you we did on Saturday and he proposed to me on Sunday that's how they did it back then my parents did the same thing blind date and they like got engaged right away yeah we have a lot in common just different intention yeah or maybe some intention where did your parents meet in in Manhattan and what's the story blind date and and what made them get engaged so quickly they got on a blind date and he they had Chinese food I think and his dumpling fell and got soy sauce on her it sounds like you were saying he teabag beg her than I even met her exactly exactly let's just say his dumpling fell and splattered soy sauce everywhere is the is it getting it is is that camera getting this oh [ __ ] do it again yeah okay ha's shy so yeah then my dad on the date was like oh we're going to my parents out in Long Island for Memorial Day weekend I'm sorry what were you saying my dad was like we're celebrating Memorial Day weekend at my parents in Long Island do you want to come to the family party and she was like yeah and then hopped in a car with him they went out she met the parents and that was pretty much that how long until later were you were born you have any siblings do you think I have siblings yes how many four three siblings no we're not Irish four siblings no my person of a guy who guesses wrong like he doesn't pick up on the context cles okay hold on seven siblings you're the youngest of and you have seven older brothers who only says the opposite I have let me guess well I you have three well you're one of three no you're I'm saying there's your mom your dad and then there's you uh one of those three and then you have now remind you brother wait can you do a full bit of you being a psychic who sucks but isn't acknowledging that they're sucking like like I don't realize that you realize that I'm bad yeah great but then you have to be like not call me out for it yeah um so you strike me as some you know I first I don't know why I assume to be an only child but you have siblings right yes you have you have a brother yes yes now correct me if I'm wrong older no you're I'm saying you're older yeah yes yes you're the oldest yeah yeah and one younger brother yeah no sisters no it's interesting being an old an older child now your parents are together yes yes yes and your relationship with your father you would say is AR you supposed to well I I'm not able to see that oh it's good good I would think it would like you seem like is my grandpa coming through oh interesting that you bring up your grandfather because we were talking about your father but I correct me if I'm wrong you're asking about your mother's father who has passed no then who am I seeing who somebody on your mother's side does she have a brother someone on my mother's side does have a brother that is that is no longer with us yeah that's who I'm seeing is this an uncle of yours my UNC uncle's alive right now yeah um whoever it is who who is that that on your mother's side that's passed I mean a lot of people is there somebody in particular yeah I'm seeing I'm seeing he has a decent head of hair who might that be I mean there's a lot of people had hair do you want to be here right now because I'm asking for a little help I'm not quite I don't know I just I don't want to give you too much information to skew your process I'm asking I there's a there's a man there's a man on your mother's side who has since passed an older man I'm not sure who he is but he has a nice head of hair and he is telling you that it's okay I need to hear that need to hear that yeah he said it's okay and he says he's even saying it now it's okay to cry that's him that's so him that's so him who is this it's a guy that is on my mom's side who has hair who passed I forgot his name but like she told me he was in the family I never met him but like I saw a photo once of him yeah that makes total sense yeah what does that what does that mean what what's okay what is he talking about what are what are you connecting with I see you getting emotional right now I don't want to talk about it if you and I were an improv troop and this is the way you handle it I would I would I would lose it I would in in scene i' would go like this well I I do I do want need to hear something I do need you to to not just yes but and something I go I actually don't want to I don't have anything else to say to you okay well then unfortunately there's not much more I could do with your suggestion but it is crazy how you trying to [ __ ] up you actually were getting a lot right it's making me question a lot of things well the truth is we all fill in the blanks it's just do we know that we're doing it and when we realize that we're filling in the blanks and even though we're writing our own we're writing stories about other people if we don't know that we're writing it we forget where we remember this and we assume it as fact right so if you just fill in the blanks consciously mhm it's amazing how much we could discover not just about ourselves but about our relationships can I give you an example mhm um who is it on your mother's side the past I actually don't know you just know somebody has passed I mean her yeah are you close with your family on your mother's side they're all still alive and are you close with them yes closer than your father's side well my father's side passed and I was very close to my grandpa on my father's side Jerry did he come through how did your grandpa die um old age but he didn't want to die of old age he was like if I'm ever in a wheelchair just kill me then he was in a wheelchair but he was up till like 94 well like we don't say it like I wouldn't say it publicly but like I did what had to be done uh-huh and that's how you fill in a blank where was that I was saying earlier well I didn't want to like tell everyone I wanted it to be like just between us when did you die this morning you're doing unbelievably right now was that a question mhm did your husband's um mom ever meet I never met my husband's family oh that's got to that sucks some people say it's great because we never argue about where to go in the holidays that's a really optimistic way of looking at things does your husband like that well every now and then we'll get into a fight cuz I'll be like do you think your mom would have liked me he's like I don't know oh how does that make you feel I get competitive I'm like I'm really [ __ ] good with moms well you know if you want to beat his mom you know you have to do right you have to watch the last episode of Game of Thrones something she can never do but don't but don't rub it in his face let him know that you did it but not compare it Toom you know I just watched the last episode of Game of Thrones and it's not as bad as I thought I'm glad I watched it it would suck if somebody couldn't watch it anyway what should we do for dinner but like I don't want to compete with his mom I think what happened with me is I would get close with the moms and like we'd break up the guy I'm seeing and the mom would still like text me and that's power when like the mom loves you more than her own son and I think that's where my mom has relationships with a couple of my exes cuz sometimes you Bond you're like he's [ __ ] annoying and she's like I know if I could break up with him I could but unfortunately I have to see him every Thanksgiving oh there we are we similarities but different intentions again yep I think my mom is obsessed with me but just like the girls I dated my mom would pick me in a second maybe you you're filling in a blank here should we get on the phone [Music] yeah wow you've been waiting for this moment Eminem lyric will you capture it or let it slip let it [ __ ] is that what you do when girls come on the Pod you just say as many clip references as possible we just did it before so I was call call back okay speaking a call back is [Laughter] this hi Honey hi ma Hi D um Mom I'm on a podcast uh with a with a should I call you a girl or a woman girly with a girl 32y old girlly named Hannah hi Hannah hi babe could you hear her okay Ma I could hear little Hannah perfectly clear perfect now um Hannah said that uh uh her mom was it your mom or his mom who was friends with the ex's I would be friends with a lot of my ex's moms right so so uh did hear that Mama yep okay and she said that gives power because like the moms would be like oh I you know they love her more than the son and I'm saying like I don't know her truth um I don't even know if she does but I said that that my mom is friends with a few of my exes but my mom thinks I'm the best well no I think Rick's the best and I think they're the best and I love them there's a few I'd like to run over with a car but the other ones um they're there are ones I would love forever like they're mine because you just don't fall in love with somebody and then now that your son doesn't love them anymore she they don't love your son you stop caring about them they were wonderful women and and I connected with them the same with my other son you know but the thing is is that I knowing how good my son is I didn't love the girls more than my son I just loved them as women that I respected Hannah she has something to say ma would you ever bond with them over like little things about Rick that would annoy you yeah you mean when we were da when he was dating them or after the fact I have OCD and I can be really difficult with some of my rules and my mom picks up cat [ __ ] with her hands without a tissue so they bond over stuff do you do you or do you not hey guys thank you so much for coming to the show was really fun um I'm going to bring up the headliner you guys please put your hands together a local from Cleveland who Visiting San Francisco and you might know our best as my mom I know her best as my best friend put your hands together for Debbie [ __ ] Glassman [Applause] well this is really nice um I don't know what to say but I can tell you I swear to God I use soap and wash my hands one one time he saw that there was the cat had you know had you know the cat the cat truly you know how they have like hair balls that come up from their mouth and one mom into the microphone a dried up oh it was a dried up hair ball oh you've been drinking oh was a parable and I pick it up and he went insane he goes you're picking up cat [ __ ] I said it's not it's a hair ball and it's a dried up hair ball okay and all you was thr okay so first of all didn't think you were going to really be doing standup I was just doing thinking you come up say no but also also this is what I'm talking about this is what I'm talking about uh hold no hold on a second hold on you know I love that but not earn it here's the thing because first of all this isn't something that happened that I remember this is something that happens that you do so if it was once a hairball sue me but that's not what it was and that's the thing that's the stuff really think I go into the cat box and pick up dog not in the cat box when there was there was poop maybe you remember this one when the cat poops the cat you know what cats beat cats sometimes and they don't always poop in the cat box and when there's poop that is just on the floor you pick it up there that's what I'm talking about I don't think you go into the cat okay I'll admit never time go ahead maom oh my God I was going to say I don't I never talk about behind the my son's back if I ever talked about them you I would talk to about them superficial things like you know the for when they wanted to talk to me about things we would just talk about life and people and relationships and stuff but I would never say anything my son didn't know I was going to say I think that's beautiful because you you have a relation multiple different kinds of relationships with people in your life and the mom of the guy you loved is one of them sometimes if it's one of them mhm a lot of times I love the guy cuz I loved his mom I'm like oh this makes sense interesting hey you want to know something there have been I've had boyfriends where I thought if I could just get rid of the boyfriend and keep the mother wait I thought you were born and Daddy was your husband well yes um that's true I've never had another boyfriend only only dad and I was only kidding with that story what you saying she was kidding well what I'm saying is that that if I only had your dad's mom uh I that's a different story yeah but we love everyone loves each other now right oh no no no more than anything in the world but at the time I mean at the time I'm lucky I stayed with my husband because of his mother do you have any questions Pretend This was Pretend This is giggly Squad what would and you have a guest and as my mom what would you ask her after that um sorry uhhuh I love how she's like yep I'm in it with you we can go doing this well by the way Mom correct me if I'm wrong but are you right now in the basement hot gluing pearls into a crown no I'm actually in the living room eating my Factor dinner and um watching Adam 12 from from uh am I watching Adam 12 oh oh I'm watching closer oh oh yeah we're watching closer and Adam we're switching love you have a fun back meals are great daddy wants to know daddy wants to know if you know what he's eating right now uh it sounded like he was eating some jelly beans no no he's eating crackers he's finished the jelly beans Hey listen Hannah Banana it's really nice to meet you nice to meet you too I just want to ask are you at his are you at Ricky's place or RI I'm at Ricky's place and I'm cuddling with his new angel of a dog oh come on Alvin is incredible he's been cuddling with me for over three hours that I I've been kidnapped to be here but because Alvin's here it's so much better you can't get up we're having a good time okay love you bye bye well anything you want to plug uh Marshall Carpet a greyhound bar and grill a code is there a code uh uh factor I would I would plug Factor oh by the way tell factor that they they U macaroni and chili with with corn and uh whatever the other green vegetable is is unbelievably delish actually I agree shout out I know factory.com tyo to get something off of a box I think 50% they're losing money on this deal they're that confident that you're going to come back for more all right Mama I love you wait wait wait Ricky want daddy wants to say something what oh Helix helix.com yeah yeah yeah Helix sleep.com two free pillows I love you bye that's the greatest thing ever did you notice immediately my like I need the mom to like me took over and I was like she's going to think I'm awesome it's a weird um you you have a mom's who will like you energy that's what I was trying to tell my husband that's why people ask you for directions it's the same thing you can approach a woman whose mom will like her do you know how difficult it would be to go up to a girl that I was interested if I just knew my mom wouldn't like her what constitutes as a girl your mom would not like I I can't imagine liking a girl that my mom doesn't like yeah so that that was kind of just like a a fake thing but like like there's there's really only one person I could think of my mom said a couple but I think she's maybe talking about my brother and me together and rx's but I there's there's my mom has liked everybody except for M yeah I don't even want to get into it what's your name oh are you out of your mind I don't talk about other people on here I'll give you a hint was it rhyme with admit it's PR it's funny yeah I don't I I've broken up with many people cuz my mom is just like no you trust her opinion she knows better than I do I believe that cuz I'm rosecolor glasses especially in the beginning beginning that's just dopamine you need it someone who can see clearly you know that's where you get the name you're being a dope is when you let the dopamine make your decisions for you I didn't know that I thought cracki oh oh I'm sorry did I step on something no just I think you should be more aware that some people have problems with crack before you I know it you know those people um T typically don't drink enough water I don't drink enough water did you even have a sip no it's time to slam now are you said that I haven't drank your water no but I I do you want some of my water have you not drank any of it yet I haven't even touched it I love the stuff remember where that came from does this look orange you know it might have been against your yellow shirt so are we friends what are we doing I'm trying to work on my boundaries you know Jordan are you friends with Jordan Jensen yes and what about it I was just seeing giving you an opportunity yes and me uh when she first came out she's talked about how like uh she didn't really ever know about boundaries before and now she's trying to put them like use them all over the place yeah we talk about boundaries a bit on the Pod can we get her on talk about boundaries with you I would love that man women are are the best aren't they wait you're like how do we connect with Hannah let's bring another girl voice in she does not have a shrill voice though she has a strong true so like I think your dog's dead hi Rick you're on speaker phone on Brendan sag's podcast feel free to hang up if you don't want to comply well I have you not on speaker phone because I have technology and I care about audio mixing but I have you on my podcast with Hannah burner right now oh my God you doing two podcasts right this has never been done dude we're doing an Inception podcast let's not let our excitement get in the way of what we're actually trying to accomplish I just did a sick freestyle and thought of you let me let me do another one yeah I can't I'm too nervous now she's good at it I don't care about Brendan's perception but I do care about yours so I'll choke why is that will you let Hannah know why you care about mine so much CU maybe then she'll understand that I'm not just a dramatic actor but I'm also a comedian it's so funny we're having the same podcast oh I it's more it's more just your height for me are you a rick are you a short guy he's so tall I don't think about height he's a tall that's what tall guys say yeah I don't think about penis privilege okay is your big it's so big have you seen his penis no but I see it yeah I get what she said Sayes you saying you see it based on like my confidence yeah I Got Confidence anybody that's in the background that says I Got Confidence little dick I do have a little penis Brendon what's your hair right now because I feel like you can judge by what you're doing with your hair my hair Brendan you know how he always does weird stuff with his hair when he's going through something his hair is good right now which means tomorrow he's going to buzz it and dye it pain like what what happens what do you do with your hair he'll bleach it sometimes when he's going through something I know and I'm not going through something my life is great so hey do either of you know was Britney Spears ever in a movie that involved Traveling Pants yeah The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants she wasn't in that no oh the car one the blue it like Crossroads holy [ __ ] I think you're right did that involveed Traveling Pants of some kind Blue Crush Blue Crush no no no Crossroads it's Crossroads Crossroads are there Traveling Pants and Crossroads no this is not like a crossover but you know what there is a consignment shop called Crossroads where you could sell your pants really yes put up a picture hey world is crazy isn't it all right anything you guys want to plug what are you guys doing you're in La yeah she was Hannah was talking to me about boundaries uh and I'm like uh uh uh she's wants to work on our boundaries and I brought up how that you say that she doesn't need boundaries she already has a husband in a good life she doesn't need to set boundaries anymore I need boundaries I have a sad I'm a sad clown husbands don't equate to happiness Jordan good merch yeah that's the name of my special don't tell me that because I'll kill myself because that's the only thing I'm in pursuit of you know you know Pursuit of Happiness isn't about finding somebody to make you happy but it's about making yourself happy it's within I hate how different our worlds are right now you're in LA I'm in a cat stinky Brendan Sago eczema covered [ __ ] you but that's your energy you're like tattooed and like raspy voice and I'm like you know use a coaster he got mad that I left the light on in the bathroom it's a different vibe over here I would say I got mad I just noticed it I noticed it I noticed it I noticed it hey if either of you were to go on a podcast called take your shoes off and you never met the host would you come over sockless hey h how about we ditch these zeros and get out of here yeah let's get out of here B all right bye guys Jordan you want to finish this podcast with we we podcast swap Wipe Swap what are you guys wearing anything you want to plug or what are we doing here let me guess let me guess Rick do the do the gold things do the any gold oh okay wait Rick can I ask you can I ask you something before we hang up yes um okay really quick for the the Pod because that's the theme of this pod can you tell the people no bits all all all serious really serious all [ __ ] aside can you tell us exactly what it is like goals and your and what you want out of life the one thing that you want out of life I don't that's respectfully that's that's uh neither yours nor the nor the Public's business but you zoom out enough I'll tell you this health happiness and connection anything you want to plug all right take care Oh anyway all right well this is fun this was fun yeah this is fun anything else oh so anyway I asked if I could cut that guy in the bathroom can I plug my special no I already plugged it I have an idea what plug it again but you know what plug it in a way to where I could now cut this part out and I could put it in an earlier episode so earlier part of the episode or just someone else another episode so when when your special comes out the week or the week after it comes out we could do a little commercial for special oh yeah and a little teaser yeah um do you want to give me like a motive 20 seconds or so within there a motive yeah should I look at the camera you mean an intention thought I sneeze again sorry look to yeah look the camera we'll put a little music in and um um if you could do Hi and then hair flip okay say your name okay and then I got good news for you and then the special hi sorry I have a bad memory sometimes hi hi hair flip FP which direction hair flip does matter okay you might want to take your headphones off for this I want to keep them on okay cuz I have like a little strand whatever this whole thing okay hi hi then hair flip sorry go ahead hi what's next your name can you cut it up because I don't want to do it straight July 9th what's the name of your special we ride at dawn right we ride at dawn make sure you check it out on Netflix yeah that's fun do you want a a shot of whiskey no thank you trick question why because if you said yes I would have [ __ ] relapsed sure water I would have been like that's crazy do you drink I do but not really I'm like tired everybody has a whiskey now so I just keep people's books and whiskies over there oh yeah supporting small business large businesses so July 9th uh we ride at dawn we ride it Dawn uh we just for people in case they're still unsure could you do your whatever your opening joke is for them now oh yeah um I have sh voice and I'm a girl and show us your tits yeah and then I show my tits really yeah on Netflix Netflix you could do anything so you're telling me all people have to do to see your tits is to go to Netflix and it's probably going to be selected it's going to be recommended I do show my tits but I do make I make some jokes about like how like gaslighting and men don't like that stuff they don't like gaslighting or jokes about it jokes about gaslighting you know because earlier in the episode um I noticed that you were gaslighting me I'm allowed to I'm allowed to but we took care of that why don't ever wink at me again I have [Music] autism that doesn't mean you have to wink oh I don't mind uh jokes about uh anything as long as two things are true one you show your tits and two it's on Netflix on July 9th that's we ride it Dawn we're very exced and by we it's my tits get it get it get it I like that you know there was a time that I would go to Target every day in the morning for like three weeks looking to see if they got any new Wiis so I could sell them on eBay or after fees I would probably make about a $20 profit and it was so much work in time but I never realized like you grow up kids weed and then adults like we too all right thee music yeah this was the best podcast I've ever done this was the most interesting the most engaging alligator pretending it's an alligator and uh uh all right thank you so much for coming over and title card blue we nailed it oh yeah [Music]