yeah that's why I don't know what this is because every time someone talks about ADHD and people want to insist that is an that's an actual pathology that's an actual issue and I'm always like boy I don't know cuz I think it's a superpower so for me I like it's I've just decided to view it like okay I'm not taking this they told me you can take the medication while you're pregnant but we just don't know what it'll what it affect will have I'm like well I'm not com I'm not comfortable with that so I just I I quit I quit it I quit nicotine quit everything but you know I just try to view it as an experiment like I've never been off of these drugs and I'm going to try being off of these drugs doing the most simple task to me feels like I'm doing it through mud it's really hard for me yes it's really hard but one thing that I think I'm going to after I give birth I'm going to go back to it to some extent but I don't want to use it on stage anymore cuz I feel like I've been better on stage without amphetamines well I know people that do I've never done amphetamines I've never done Aderall I've never done Coke I'm scared of them um but a buddy of mine who had done Aderall and then gone on stage said it was terrible so he was never smiling he was all serious where he was up there he said it was awful yeah to me it I guess I feel normal but I've never really been off of it like it was never really my decision it was never my decision to go on it so what makes you think that you're better on stage uh off of it because I one of my root issues is impulse control which is a problem and everywhere but a stage right cuz if you're not thinking too much then you're going to be better on stage I think so I think I don't get as nervous I'm not thinking as much about what if I say this I just I've already said it and on a stage that's the best place for that that's the one place where you can really do that and it's going to be okay right so I I I still the writing is tough doing laundry is tough uh being emotionally stable is tough but my husband is very patient man but I also don't know what of that is the pregnancy I am not sure right is your first one it's my first one yeah so there's lot going on there's a lot going on but it's like I'm so messed up because I've done these the EMP fetamines for so long that let's just say if something doesn't go well I'm like it would have been better if I was on viance so it's like you know what I don't because I don't know but it's you know but I just don't know cuz I've heard from what I've heard if you're pregnant that can make you a little crazy too I'm sure well your hormones are going crazy you got a little person growing inside your body so weird and I know so much going on it's the most normal thing ever I get that like everybody does it that's why we're all here but like I've never done it to me it's wild I don't think it's normal I mean weird it only happens every now and again to people it only happens to one half of the population yes and it's the reason why life is here and it's treated as if it's not that big of a deal yeah it really is it's one of the main focuses in this election is whether or not you can kill the baby it it's yeah I'm sorry to say it that way I mean I'm not I'm not in any way uh trying to take away someone's right to choose I'm not that guy but I'm just saying what what it is it what it it actually is is you're deciding whether or not someone should be able to tell you whether you could terminate the baby that's inside of you that's going to become a person well yeah I think that's obviously I mean I'm pro-choice I just don't think the government should be involved in it at all I don't think so either and I think that there's all these there's so many different levels to it right like my husband and I we froze embryos years ago so I have nine Frozen kids yeah kids just waiting to thought out but those are like those are just a couple cells that are in a freezer whatever who knows what's in there I mean who knows what's in the embryo I so you really so you think I should have all of them I don't know what's in there I don't know I mean what if every embryo is a life and not just a life but a soul and a soul waiting to Emer like once you've done the deed I'm not say I'm not that guy I'm not this I don't think you are I'm not this guy but I'm just let's put it out there like what the [ __ ] is that if that thing can become a person you put it in your body thaws out whatever I don't know the process yeah I don't really either I don't really either I just kind of did it all of a sudden it's a person like you you're storing people in like a lab somewhere and do they have memory of being stored do we we have long-term data about the trauma of being a frozen embryo for 10 years do we have any idea whether or not it has any effect on the human being how long are they've been doing this yeah I have what's the long-term data on what kind of a person comes out of fraud like what like making a bunch of sociopaths I don't I don't I mean it feel like we've done it enough P time IVF right really think they've studied it like looked at the personalities of the people whether or not they have weird dreams about being stuck in a Freez well sociopaths come from sex too I watch it enough sex no like the babies that come from sex turn can grow up to be sociopaths how do the babies come any other way well I mean IVF IVF there's IVF and then there's the sex way so you're saying that all the babies that are sociopaths come from sex no I'm saying that some of them do any baby can be a sociopath which is what I'm which is why I waited so long to have kids and I'm terrified because also what if it's like a few degrees below a sociopath and my kid just sucks I don't think you have to worry about that my kid is the one that shows up and everyone's like ah [ __ ] you know so and so's kids here do your best you're not you don't I don't think you really have to worry about that the reason why they brought I brought that up is because Ted kazinski when he was young was there was something wrong with them some sort of medical condition and they brought him to some Hospital where he received no touch no physical touch for like a long period of time like months and months and his brother who turned him in his brother who read the unibomber manifesto and realized like I know how this guy's talking my brother's a genius and a psych real psycho and this is my brother and so he turned him in and that's how they caught the unibomber but he attributes one of the things that's wrong with his brother with the time where he was a baby where heed no touch and no love and that it just [ __ ] with his head and I wonder those little embryos just sit in a freezer somewhere I don't know either I don't think so I don't know either religion thinks that the soul enters the body on the 48th day right is that what it is I think every religion's different I think there's some people who are really socially conservative religious that are opposed to IVF in general because embryos are discarded or they die and that kind of a thing