Greg Gutfeld is NOT the Weird One

not Gutfeld he's what what do you mean chat he's getting to the bottom of why Tim Walls is the real weird one OB actually I'm taking back my advice to Republicans keep defending yourselves it's working guys it's it's going to work hey so you know what that means let's welcome tonight's guest she's so pure Hunter Biden tried to snort her H new Sunday shed and Bre [Music] [Applause] [Music] creepy jump scare stick buug censored it he's as cheerful as an orphan with tuberculosis comedian and founder of Western Razor Company everyone's here to just plug some stupid sh or they're like dumbass bug as a former Miss Citrus everything she touches is freshly squeezed oh of the Morgan Orga show with serious FM Morgan Ortega and he see your house from up there New York Times bestselling author comedian in pwa world champion T Greg is the least funny guy he's the least funny guy in the world I think right yeah you know before we get to some news stories let's do this yeah open leftovers Bridge yeah it's leftovers where I read the jokes we didn't use this week and I read the jokes we didn't use this week maybe just don't use them always it's my first time reading them so if they suck we'll tie Joe Macky to the Slender trunk of a sapling and then as it slowly grows to a large tall tree he hangs himself wow that was it'll take 80 90 years but so worth it so the Iraqi Parliament May lower the legal marriage age for girls to 9 years old so guess who's now condo hunting in [Music] Baghdad in a resurfaced interview from 2020 vice president Harris was asked hang on Fox news by the way child marriage is more common in the southern states Oklahoma Texas is actually the number one oh I'm sorry what number two West Virginia is number one Joe Biden's favorite state 5.8 in Oklahoma 5.9 in Nevada God 5.6 in Arkansas 5.5 in Tennessee 5.4 in North Carolina and that's per thousand that's not even per 100,000 that's nuts it's gross but you know Iraq is uh you know crazy I'm not even going to say what they're actually implying it's just remember this whenever Republicans or even liberals really talk about how uh Muslims like to marry children so do Texans bro you think it's all the Muslims in Texas that are doing that and this is 15 to 17 I don't know why they stopped it at 15 cuz there are plenty of states with no minimum age in Texas it's 15 California no minimum age Arizona no minimum age or I'm sorry is that New Mexico or Arizona I always get them confused it's New Mexico Oklahoma just the you know two states bordering the rural parts of Texas Texas the highest state dude and just it happens to be that these two have no age minimum just a simple simple hop and Skip I'm Texas it's gross the south is gross as who her favorite rapper was and it's not just the South either it's like American it's an extremely American thing early America was nasty with that [ __ ] no the South isn't even the problem in the circumstance it's disproportionate in the South but I mean it's disproportionate in California too and also West Virginia ain't the south I mean if you ask people but you know what I mean like it's an a very American problem why is pedophilia so prevalent in the world history European history American history it's Gross alive and she said Tupac who's dead Tupac and when asked who her favorite President was she said Joe Biden who's t as for KLA of avoiding questions from the Press she says she wants to get to an interview scheduled before the end of the month she'd do it sooner but she needs to learn words what is Trump doing man he's on Aiden Ross's stream and doing safe rallies for his own comfort in Montana Fox News is hammering home non-stop this narrative like KLA is not doing an interview KLA is not talking to the Press KLA is not doing an interview and it's like dude Trump isn't doing anything at least she's campaigning Nancy Pelosi admits they forced President Biden to drop out of the race not because he was unfit for office but because he would lose to Trump so she stabbed Biden in the this makeup is crazy dude it does not match his hand and it like ends so harshly it looks like he's wearing a mask back which is weird cuz she usually bites people in the neck Olympic swimmers are getting sick from having to swim in the sane River you could tell something was wrong because they went in looking like this and they came out looking like [Applause] this all right get President Biden openly expressed confusion as he greeted the world this picture is crazy who why does Joe Biden look so small he looks so slow so this is just as like bizarre as the Jimmy Carter picture like the guys in the back look gigant is this with a basketball team like what the guys in the back look gigantic they're fanned in like a tri bual Joe Biden is incognizant you don't know where he is the two guys next to him are also Giants there's too many people in this picture there's too many just too many series winning Texas Rangers at the White House evidently kept asking oh maybe he is photoshopped into this picture that would make a lot of sense maybe Greg gutfield put him into this picture where is Chuck Norris [Applause] an Olympic women's boxing XY chromosom boxers Amani khif and Lyn uing Advanced to their weight class finals I think I speak for everyone everyone when I say God May the best man win I think I speak for everyone when I'm a disgusting Pig Yeah man normal guys normal guys by the way they're so normal they're so normal they're looking at women's boxers that have trained their entire lives gold medal winning now in the case of the girl on the left Iman khif also from a country where it's illegal to be trans so how Greg Gutfeld how oh no it's just a joke though but it's just a joke I'm glad we're circling back completely into like 200 2007 style uh you know just it just boils down to misogyny it's just like these women are too man man women athletes are manly cool man no that's good tell Donald Trump to say that it'll make him look awesome in a comics for comma event Ben Stiller said quote like every white Jewish guy I wish I was black well there's always a chance he could become black later in life said one woman oh my God oh my God he's just mimicking what Trump said he's just parting Trump's oh my God she became a black person yeah you're going with that cool why this girl look like a troll he really does man he's rough he's looking R Joy Reed says Democrat Mark Kelly would have been a better pick for commas VP because I like how they always have to choose these stupid frames it's like H gotcha you made a silly face it's like bro Gutfeld is literally a living nightmare like bro looks like he was he has seen a ghost like what are we doing every frame of him looks ridiculous there's no joke otherwise yeah quote super white like a mayonnaise sandwich on Wonderbread that must be why she's copying his hairstyle doesn't make sense doesn't make any sense this is just a famous case of conservatives being like I don't I can't tell the difference between two different things many such cases conservatives holding up to a different completely different fundamentally different things I mean like I it looks the same to me she literally has hair she has hair that is bleached hair that she has consciously like made a choice to change the color of hair that is trimmed with a sh a certain style doesn't work man if she actually shaved her head you'd have like a mean joke and even still making the choice to shave her head which she hasn't done here is different than this which is a consequence of jeans and nature he's returning to Monkey hairless monkey the British government is now threatening to arrest Twitter users and they warned think before you post or what asked one man no one man is that one man stick bug did you guys guessed that it was going to be [ __ ] George Washington she George my Washington little historical humor there I see him I clap finally massive amounts of flooding is set to hit New York City this weekend as hurricane Debbie approaches and to save stranded New Yorkers mayor Adams will Implement five massive flotation devices can't go wrong all right so lazy if you ever want to know what the Dems are up to just listen to what they accuse you of doing take it's just he always it's his classic thing he loves just hammering home guy the ladies on The View are bad they're stupid and ugly so word dude it's the worst whatever man sure Joy bear this guy's got nothing to say it was first uttered by a guy named Tim wals directed at another guy called JD Vance but turns out there's one normal guy here and it's definitely the one wearing eyeliner says Greg Gutfeld who looks like an actual Harry Potter house elf right now he looks like Dobby oh Tim Walls is weird this guy thinks CIS women are men this guy don't know his gender good the Horseshoe Theory exists conservatives have fully circled around to sounding like the leftists that they make up in their head where they're like they can't even tell the difference between a man and a woman Ronda santis said it at the Republican convention he was like they can't even tell what a woman is he said that in that exact tone and as usual it's a preemptive projection for the Dems always call you on stuff that they're about to do or have already done they accuse you of election interference before they do it they accuse you of racism before they do it they accuse you of censorship before they try to shut you up I like the the pictures that they choose yeah voting you guys know that they're not showing like evidence or examples they're they're just showing they're just showing things it's like a picture book they accuse you of racism before they do it they accuse you of censorship word censored Free Speech We the People triple combo it's everything you need to know about the Democrats you just need a big donkey over all of it and then there you go right before they try to shut you up and when they accuse you of being weird you just know the party of drag queen Story Hour fat activists and feminist supporting Hamas have really something freaky up their sleeves he's so mad dude fat activist bro it's not weird to just throw that out there that alone is just so weird it's just like baffling like your average voter can't even interface with that dude Greg Gutfeld is sitting next to Tyrus he's fat what do you mean fat activist Tyrus is a fat activist he just is an activist for right-wing values that happens to be fat many such cases such as Donald Trump what are we talking about there are famously no fat conservatives and none of them watch Greg Gutfeld I'm pretty sure they mean body positivity people no I know but that's not like a Democratic party policy no one's voting for anything related to that that's not politics that's like advertising and marketing that he has a problem with it's like seeing fat people in a Nike commercial that makes him mad you know what I mean it's has nothing to do with politics it's just weird it's literally weird now Waltz is weird but he disguises it under the costume of phony compassion a fake politician who masks destructive ideas under the guise of empathy at a 2017 Town Hall he implied 10-year-old boys should be able to invade girls bathrooms because it's all about safety quote as a teacher my number one responsibility in the classroom is the safety security and belongingness of you notice they already have to go to like 2017 like he's been in power for so long in so many different forms from Congress to Governor to National Guard he was in and then he was a teacher like there's so he's been doing he's he's 60 years old every single child in that room these are children my son's age a fourth grader a 10-year-old who just wants to go to the bathroom and their identity is they are male or female and they just go in that bathroom and use it end quote why are you talking about this he's like yeah let the kid just go where they want to go and Greg gutfeld's like yeah I have something to say about this one yes I do it's the most normal statement ever they just go in that bathroom and use it Greg upell like no no no no it does not end there I need to watch them I'm so folksy you know belongingness yeah they'll be belonging in therapy with this guy at the helm but who's okay but like no actually he's been at the helm of an entire State and it's actually doing really well like right now like currently it's one of the most successful and happiest states he's so mad bro did they forget unisex bathrooms exist no they don't actually no no no bathrooms are the honor System every bathroom is gendered it's the honor System but Greg Gutfeld has to verify it and if they don't believe you even though you are know better than they do they can still question you regardless and the only way to answer them is to show them your genitalia but you know they're going to ask everything except that question it's awesome it's an awesome it's an awesome way to do discourse it's really normal and popular and people are going to vote really hard for this yep does he rely upon for his Midwestern takes here's Minnesota State Rep lefy who wants to train more Children's doctors on sex change surgery and puberty blockers he sponsored the trans Refuge bill which Walt signed which makes Minnesota a sanctuary state for such Butchery based if you promise trans Refuge then we need to increase the number of people who are offering gender affirming care so we have some money hopefully okay the Republican curve or the Republican spin on stuff like this is no matter what gender affirming care equals surgery we're not talking about that this person's not talking about that Tim Walls is not talking about that when it comes to minors gender affirming care can range from literally anything from therapy to medication to specific counseling to like so many different things so many so many so many so many different things that do not include surgery social transitioning puberty blockers hormones therapy specifically therapy we can pass to help entice people to move from those States who also practice gender affirming care we want to do yeah like medical practitioners and fellowship programs to to with children's Minnesota and other places where people can learn gender affirming care this is the most normal stuff ever by the way this is the most normal stuff ever and Greg Gutfeld is having a tantrum about stuff he doesn't understand and he's like gender affirming care yeah right how about I hit him when I was a kid you used to punch children until they stopped misbehaving why can't we do that again he's now available for babysitting don't be rude what and that's the perfect person to give advice for impressionable kids I don't know strangers that want to take in runaways with perfectly good parents who don't want them sterilized that's weird I wouldn't send my son to St sterilized bro being like they're they're sterilizing the children that's [ __ ] weird man cuz guess what they're not doing that and if they are it's entirely voluntary and an informed decision it's not a [ __ ] surprise that a trans can't carry [ __ ] babies in her womb like what the [ __ ] sterilized yeah I think it's I think a trans woman understands that you know getting bottom surgery means that they won't carry babies getting their testicles removed means that they won't have sperm anymore like that's sterilization yeah bro really wants these kids to have kids cuz we're not talking about sterilization of kids by the way I'm talking about St ation of adults none of this happens and even then they can save sperm yeah you can save sperm you can save eggs except you know Republicans want to make IVF illegal which I'm sure Greg Gutfeld would have no problem with as a you know childless unmarried douchebag as a transwoman this is a surprise to me slj very normal to worry about the fertility of random children the [ __ ] man Paul he may come back as St Paula there are other weird things about Waltz of course he fibs about his military service he set up a snitch line to Nar on citizens for not wearing masks outside no one cares idiot no one gives an f about that literally no one cares do you know your tattoos were permanent [ __ ] you mean they're on my skin that's crazy set up a snitch line like no no context he just like that I'm sure that is such a such a dishonest take of what it actually was and like bro who cares no one was like wearing masks as bad no no one who's voting is really like that who's not just voting for Trump immediately he's super weird on Free Speech I think we need to push back on this he's I think he's lost weight since this or maybe he's just older now but uh he used to be a rotund rotund Tweedle D looking [ __ ] I love a big big Midwest boy no guaranteed to free speech on misinformation or or hate speech and especially around our democracy there's no guar what I guess his class didn't cover the First Amendment but if misinformation isn't free speech then shouldn't he arrest himself for lying about his service so yeah okay so there's this stupid unbelievable narrative yes yes he should arrest himself first of all of course if you disagree you're literally uh you're literally Hitler I mean that's what Republicans think you're gay Hitler cuz Hitler was of course a leftist and actually gay all along yeah they're claiming Stolen Valor of an E9 which is nuts he actually did serve for like 20 it was like 23 years he never lied it's like it's crazy to me 24 Ser basically a quarter century and they're like mad he didn't die in Iraq or something he didn't step down because of the Iraq War he stepped down so he could run for office but he also was in opposition to the Iraq War anyway no one should have gone and fight fought in that that war so conservatives being like he didn't go and fight in Iraq is crazy for the same reasons I criticize people for liking for example Pete Buddha judge who served in Afghanistan you shouldn't like someone who's proud of serving in a [ __ ] Ganan or Iraq like nuts crazy I think more than ever there's a an actual political opportunity to change the narrative on America's [ __ ] post 911 destruction and revenge campaign like Trump ran for office on like Hillary was pro-iraq war and we never should have been there and he was [ __ ] right but now his VP pick it was pro-iraq war so what the [ __ ] are we doing I think uh JD V was in Afghanistan too right or was he in Iraq I don't remember he was in one or the other but still he's Pro both of those Wars rare Trump W it was just a grift he's just as proar because proar is being pro-american economy and he he understands that probably better than most at least on a more like objective level Trump was woke he weaponized people's frustration and understandable disillusionment with the [ __ ] foreign policy of America and it was a smart electoral thing to do but I mean Tim Walls being VP and having been anti-iraq war is so good Trump used to be protrans yeah he's more protrans than most Republicans right now he usually is just like shut up about it like do whatever it should be left up to the states I don't know whatever the States should decide which he knows means you know Republican Party platform across the board unless it's a specific blue state which there's only a handful of you know here's the deal yeah he lied about his service and he should arrest himself that was Greg gutfeld's point my main point Walt made himself self fair game since his only attack was that the other guy was weird because everyone is weird the more you get to know them it's why marriage is a commitment over time both spouses realize we're all back crazy okay um we're all weird is not the defense that I expected and not a good one I'm going to be honest but there's weird and there's dangerously insane and that's thinking children can decide to have themselves castrated and that's Tim Waltz his sin among many is that he smeared Vance for being H very normal very normal point to make about a guy who's never said that normal his accusation assumes that he's not and once you make that claim all bets are off you think Vance is weird and you want to operate on healthy kids if saying this picture you think Vance is weird look at this he looks funny so Ladi is weird what if you want to turn someone's son into one so congrats W you're a weirdo but so are we okay this doesn't make any sense but so are we but at least we don't lie about it unlike you but maybe that's because you're way weirder than we can even imagine all right period [Applause] perod you said it Greg you got him Shannon it's common knowledge around the building that you're a very weird person I mean no I'm serious she's she's a freak did you hear that frantic leading class but didn't make a mistake by breaking the weird seal like there's no non weird person so it's like once he said that it's like okay we're coming after you well and they have nothing they have nothing we're coming after you you should arrest yourself for uh not saying that you didn't go to Iraq we're all weird yeah embracing it is not going to work it's gutfeld's only angle cuz he's weird as [ __ ] anyway and he can't hide it he's creepy and the word you use folks so this this is a lot of the headlines we're seeing he's lovable he's like your dad next door your grandpa your coach I mean so he's supposed to be the Normie we're told that's those are the words the kids use now yes as you know uh but when you talk about things like free speech and because nine of the weirdos I like to hang out with most are at the Supreme Court and they have decided 8 to one in some really controversial cases that the most hateful weird stuff that you would say is protected by the First Amendment because it's not rainbows and puppies and all that that we have to protect it's the most hateful stuff but the court recognizes the Constitution protects your ability to say these things out loud and then people can judge you based on that but here's the deal we got to get past all of the Love Fest at some point that's any new candidate gets that but you have to get to where he is on his policy position she said oh yeah you called me weird well I have free speech and I can be as weird as I want because the first amendment and you can't arrest me because the first amendment protects the most horrible things you could ever say and we have to protect that and it's like whoa what have you said yeah her hair is stiff like plastic it's Fox News man every woman's an amalgamation of a 1980s teachers section of a yearbook blown out bleach blonde blue-eyed high functioning alcoholic it's an archetype very specifically targeted by Fox News and Donald Trump by the way a lot of his assistants meet this archetype almost all of his press secretaries that were women did didn't he have like two or three different women that all look do look like this Kaye ma is only one of them you outlined some of them now some people may love that but they need know what they are so they can decide how to vote exactly now you did Cover the Supreme Court and they are all perverts I how do you tell that they're alcoholic um it's an educated guess in a lot of cases sometimes you can kind of just tell that they're drunk um but it's an educated guess based on the personality the kind of people that I've met that match this personality that absolutely were high functioning alcoholics and were really sneaky about hiding it and like a coping mechan mechanism for the kind of person that you have to be to get in front of the camera and do [ __ ] right-wing propaganda on Fox News like you have to be a very angry very resentful reactionary person and in all likelihood you don't have a lot of friends and you're not very enjoyable to be around but you have a lot of money and I'm not like psychoanalyzing these people this is just like What Becomes of you it's an inevitability with like being a right-wing influencer on some Universal level these people understand that they're like [ __ ] up whether it's like karmic or like I don't know it's like like you lose a piece of your soul being a right-winger and it genuinely affects you we see it all the time and it could be just like genuine disenfranchisement from being as wealthy as you get to be being a Fox News talking head because it is yeah it's moral bankruptcy it's all in exchange for money it's all for the bag but in a lot of cases the the people on these panels are paid very well that bag is [ __ ] productive and right-wing media has continued to reward more and more reactionary language as time goes on I think as a product of right-wingers discovering social media like Twitter is a great example Twitter amplifies right-wing messaging and if you get a lot of Impressions on your account they give you some money the equation is there you don't have to think a lot you don't even have to have that you know strong of a moral compass to put those two things together and then you could be like you know Google Hassan streamer copy paste into Twitter on your blue check account and just type in this is the most hypocrite streamer of all time and then you post and then you know you can pay your rent that month that is a genuine way to get interaction on social media just to be like a right-wing grifter and if you can make money doing that the more right-wing you are the more you appeal to like this Fringe of like hyper online people the more money you coincidentally make on top of the way you know it's institutionally funded on like the level of Fox News but what I'm saying is like the blue check mark like weirdo bozos just grifting for money saying whatever they can for impressions are in a large part dominating Twitter as a platform which is increasingly becoming used by right wiers in the media and so that is what they're consuming and I think in their heads America has shifted so far right it's like 2016 like liberals on MSNBC thought that the world was a lot like Twitter and everyone wanted a sweet epic girl boss Hillary Clinton own right-wingers are having that exact moment right now and being like why do everyone doesn't want like orange boss fascism this is awesome we're celebrating and you guys are ruining our fun so we're now you know we're going to attack you and call you slurs and a big thing that's weighing them down is a lot of the you know impression Farm blue check mark freaks think that like harassing people online in general I mean look at Libs of Tik Tok they think that is practice limbs of Tik Tok has doxed people random people working hourly wages at [ __ ] Home Depot she goes and finds their name finds their where they work and gets them [ __ ] fired if they post stuff she doesn't like they think that's [ __ ] prais man they think that's like activism attacking and harassing and swarming people who have no real means to defend themselves and people are [ __ ] tired of it is infuriating me she hasn't been punished by the law yeah Libs of Tik Tok is a [ __ ] criminal but Twitter is not [ __ ] real life and Twitter and and its consequences of Shifting so far to the right I think will Ripple into reality because these guys have an actual effect and their [ __ ] narratives spinning out of control as they are huffing their own farts on social media 24/7 that's why they have no defense for being weird they are weird they're kind of way too online at least Greg Gutfeld at least the [ __ ] writers you can smell it Laura Ingram has that [ __ ] vibe too they have no defense for being [ __ ] weird cuz they are right-wing high-profile politicians are using Twitter and for chance speech now it's actually crazy yeah I mean the mass deportation [ __ ] is like that's a 4chan wet dream crazy it's insane that it's even like acceptable dialogue I hope kamla says something at the DNC about it when she does her acceptance speech I really hope she actually talks about the contrast between the Republican convention waving signs that said Mass Deport ation act like actually advocating for forcible relocation of if not American citizens American citizens families loved ones workers like brave people that have made a journey and built a life here will be uprooted by a violent police state one that we know is already out of control and unaccountable that is a bloody future like not even as a joke an actual like violent future and she has to hammer home that contrast St fers no come on they wear robes we know they're not wearing anything underneath the robes I can neither I can neither confirm nor deny that no I I think that's a I think that we've got an exclusive I'll get back to you on that how about that yes you know uh Angelo good to see you as always um I assume that you have a closet full of skeletons and I mean literally not like metaphorically you have the body of dead people in your little house probably underneath the floorboards that's wrong Greg I moved out of that apartment a few weeks ago I will say Jesus what does he do before this show is it poppers is it is it Coke is It meth what does he knew like how what are you huffing to make you react like this cood makes sense with the way he's like scrunching his face like it's like he can't feel his own muscles or some [ __ ] slanderous accusation I'm in a two-bedroom [Laughter] now yeah evil spirits trying to escape his body as a comedian and the owner of get out the largest americanmade Razor Company available Western razer.com thanks man for the [ __ ] ad thanks for the ad for your shitty [ __ ] American made razors I don't care [ __ ] this guy gives Matt Walsh Vibes they all do because they're all the same they're all elitist [ __ ] college educated liberal creeps with I think uh you know narcissistic tendencies in a lot of cases that want to like dominate politics for their own personal grievances relationship with the word weird you know comes at me often yes yes um but it is interesting see the pivot in the messaging cuz don't be rude know Democrats liberals in general it used to be it's okay to be weird it's hey everyone's different it's kind of like they did this with um yeah now they're now they're boted yeah it was like don't do body shaming don't do body shaming and then as soon as Trump got into office they're like look at his orange face yeah look at this look he's the president also they said that way before he was president they said that as he was running for president as if Trump looks normal I know no this is like the same [ __ ] you this is see that's what's annoying that this is what annoying 14-year-old you know wannabe Twitter leftists say like oh it's like it's fat shaming when you say Trump is rotund and and a big orb that eats nothing but McDonald's and Well Done stake with catchup it's fat shaming and it's like man yes technically it is it's woke scolding but like Republicans do that as a joke cuz they're like yeah that's basically what liberals do and it's like no man no actual liberal who's not a hyper online Loser Like Me who's actually a leftist but like you know no actual liberal especially not a voter has any understanding of that kind of attitude this is like a hypothetical madeup fictional dream world this guy does look like logic I view it as an extens the social contract you deserve respect and stuff when you operate within those bounds that's just so like I'm sorry it is Vibes based it's hard to quantify that kind of stuff but he's in he's in a position of ultimate power as the United States President so like you know body shame within certain boundaries especially when he's as embarrassing as he is and as evil as he is it's context the starting point is a point of power and a point of privilege that no one is above only God how many women has he called fat that's another part of it he engages in fat shaming non-stop he supports fat shaming he's the fat shamer he loves calling women fat that's his favorite thing get Jeff sessions he's a Keebler Elf yeah they get off it is they got to stick to their message yeah it's true because the message only works when they can point it at somebody else and we got to remember what the message is Western razer.com for americanmade razor so important so important he's a fever dream yeah I guess uh the transitioning of uh girls to boys helps your company because you get more Shavers we have razors for everybody yes you know every wait girls to boys wait are is he saying women don't use razors girls to boys help yeah I guess uh the transitioning of uh girls to boys helps your company cuz you get more Shavers yeah women don't use razors what a good joke women never shave they're naturally hairless like like a sphinx cat or whatever that's right Greg gfell knows we have razors for everybody yes you know every everybody everybody Morgan are you find interesting it's like sounds like Dei to me bro everybody yeah sounds like inclusion that's what the I stands for in Dei inclusion so shut up you're woke now cancelled everyone cancel this razor company now and then they get harassed and called pedophiles on Twitter and they have to close their sh shaving company that's how right-wingers operate bro that's literally how they work this almost just happened he dodged a bullet the dams are doing by what they accuse you of it's always that way well it's also like a obvious skating from what we should really be talking about this election which is actually the price of goods for people to go to the grocery store the price of gasoline whether you're safe in your community or whether we're safe around the world we just took two aircraft carriers out of the Pacific region put them in sycom uh because oh our US Navy ships are getting shot at troops are getting killed in Jordan from The Iranians like we are in war in almost every theater in this country but instead it's actually really smart what the Democrats have done she while breaking news on gutfeld's show we're already at war with Iran holy [ __ ] she said our American soldiers or our Navy soldiers are being killed by the Iranians we're at War at every theater in this country all fronts every front like yes we we did move aircraft carriers to uh surround the Middle Eastern Peninsula it's very bad that we're doing this by the way it's very very bad but it is for the you know supposed it's to threaten other countries not to attack Israel and to help intercept countries attacking Israel supposedly or attempting to but it's warmonger [ __ ] it's very bad but yeah she's like you know we're already at war with Iran so we have to we have to actually I guess invade now boots on the ground every theater sorry New Zealand your next expect tactical strikes on civilian locations they're not talking about war around the world they're talking about who's weird and who's not weird I happen to think what's really weird is getting married on tanaman square with the excuse that you want to remember remember your anniversary cuz you always want to remember the anniversary of your wedding through a massacre yes what you know it's ironic that he got married in China and goes there a lot and he's not really a great wall I you know he stole my joke he stole my joke I said this yesterday build the walls Great Walls China Tim that's next man Trump is watching Fox News all month instead of uh doing rallies that's what he'll come back with China he went to China 30 times he loves China even though Trump says he loves China Trump says he all the time that he loves [Applause] China I love that they applauded that I I didn't know Tim wals got married in tenan square no no he got married on the anniversary cuz heed on the anniversary I went to I went to tan Square what he happened to get married on the anniversary of tianan square and she's like yeah he did that on purpose cuz he wanted to remember squ they they want yeah they well the tour guide do you want to see tianan square and I said no TKS you know I just thought it was you know I Tyrus no no no hold on this is your fault you need to write a letter to the millions and millions of people watching at home they're like what were they clapping your fault all of it's your fault the great not so great not so great [Music] yeah weird tyus you're weirdo no no no you know what we're all weird yeah you're you look weird it's you okay you flip the dictionary it's Greg like hi so he's not weird at all he's a creep yeah Trump is famously not a creep guy who was friends with Epstein and you know allegedly raped two 12-year-olds on Epstein's Island not a creep according to Tyrus Tim Walls is a creep according to Tyrus did he flick his hung like a snake did he Greg like hi I didn't like that at all PR looks like sh like a snake he's not weird at all he's a creep yeah there's a difference between being weird and creepy and you can be weird all day long everyone wants say hey it even sounds good hey let's get weird this weekend so hey let's get creepy this weekend you don't get the same oh no cheer weird [Applause] [Laughter] puppets pure puppets but yeah what's going on what bothers me the most is the stuff that were like the fake Valor is bad enough but yeah fake Valor he can't they can't even say Stolen Valor cuz it's not it's not at all he earned all the ranks that he got so it's fake Valor when you have fake butter churning sculpting Valor where do you go from there yeah they got to fix the gas leak in the Gutfeld Studio do they have mold on their walls behind all this fake paneling like JK ring turns out he never did that he didn't he was just buy it in like an Iowa thing so there's I got people from the Midwest because I've actually been there yeah uh I went to school there and I got people going this dude ain't legit butter he's not legit butter so he's not really a butter Carver there's no evidence I cannot believe it's not butter no it's when you have fake butter churning sculpting valure where do you go from there yeah turns out he never did that wait he's saying fake butter churn butter churning sculpting butter he said butter churning sculpting valure fake butter churning sculpting valure where do you go from there yeah turns out he never did that he didn't he was just byy it in like an Iowa thing so there's I got people from the Midwest because I've actually been there yeah uh I went to school there and I got people going this dude ain't legit butter he's not legit butter so he's not really a butter Carver there's no evidence I cannot believe it's not butter no it's not they got to turn off Greg's mic when he laughs it's the loudest thing in the room the gas league has [ __ ] derailed the entire the entire show but we brought it back home is that your joke every one of you that asked for a piter after the show oh oh we got to move on that was fun though I have to say it was regular Sharp As a Razor over there bro Shar Tyrus is mad cuz he [ __ ] up everything he said and then he he [ __ ] made a terrible joke and Shane took the old spotlight stole his thunder made the audience Clap by going I Can't Believe It's Not Butter what the [ __ ] does that have to do with anything he was saying Tim Walls actually didn't carve a butter statue not that it was fake butter he just couldn't get his sentence out good oh God white demons man this whole gut fill episode was a [ __ ] train wreck what happened they stole his Val be great if he really didn't sell razors at all it was all he just sells hats that say that up next Nancy finally explains why she took Joe's Reign Greg Gutfeld loves a good rhyme he loves rhyming if you rhyme it's funny not the valure the the Fox News and the right-wing media machine is just like melting down at trying to comprehend Tim Walls in general so they're really just flailing it's kind of embarrassing it's very embarrassing actually it's not just Tim Walls though but it was it started with kamla Harris they couldn't combat anything from her but but right- Wingers have a hard time proving that they're normal in general and I think they're getting really they're getting really weird with it on purpose to like push their not weird agenda Gutfeld says this is indefensible I'm sure it's something I'm sure it's something actually really normal I'm sure it's going to be normal everything will be normal more butt [Applause] Feld I'm so excited for him to be normal rock rock I don't I don't know what you're expecting oh boy happy Thursday everyone it's now been 18 days since kamla Harris became the Democrat nominee but she still hasn't held a press conference why is she ducking the media staffers blame some of the delay is that other narrative I was talking about acting like she's ducking interviews or something like why isn't she talking to the media Hawk to it to the media come on she can't answer questions it's like they're all going to look so stupid and they're going to have another like Back Against The Wall moment run out of talking points when she actually does a sit down interview which I think is soon probably before the end of the month if not before the debate for sure it's just a matter of time before this talking point just expires it's just it's stalling for time talking the fact that English is her second language oh Jesus okay meanwhile comm's VP Tim Waltz is being accused of lying about his rank which is called Stolen Valor but wal defense this is all they have in Minneapolis stealing is legal yeah dude four years ago do you remember that four years ago this happened do you remember but misrepresenting your past for political gain I don't see that as a problem said one woman what but even CNN a reporter delivered a devastating fact check on waltz's claims notice how that picture was not a real picture and instead a photoshopped image military service and you know what they say when you've lost CNN thank your cable provider meanwhile Harris has added Waltz to her website but still hasn't added a single policy in her defense she thinks a website is where spiders meet for sex but she did at least post her new campaign slogan yeah man KLA Harris doesn't know what website is she doesn't actually know oh I thought my audio had a problem but it was actually just how silent the audience was as a result of Greg gutfeld's failed joke that was crazy but she did at least post her new campaign slogan you're flicked oh only real sexers will get that one you're I spent 24 years in the National Guard some of that fulltime I was an artilleryman i deployed in support of Operation uring Freedom my Battalion provided um base security throughout the European theater from Turkey to England um in the early stages of the war in Afghanistan and that same Battalion is now in Iraq at this time now it sounds like he was a lot closer to the battlefield then he actually might be he wasn't Well yeah if you don't listen to it well it sounds like you're closer than uh you actually were but that's not what he [ __ ] said that's insane in fact deployed to a base in Italy he wasn't taking live fire and operation enduring Freedom it was more like operation enduring pasta he said from Turkey to England and he's like well that he didn't say Italy yeah what the [ __ ] is in the middle of those two things you idiot enduring pasta enjoying freedom and in 2009 a local veteran went to his Minnesota office and asked the staff for if it's possible to mistakenly assume that he served in Afghanistan based on his website bio and the staffer said perhaps so the V suggest hey maybe you should change it the staffer said perhaps this is a definitely real story to say that Waltz served in Italy instead but waltz's office did nothing though they did offer the vet a case of military gr tampons wow then there's the two fellow National Guardsman who said in 2022 that Waltz reached the rank of command sergeant major but didn't complete the coursework to maintain that rank before he retired at a lower rank which the Minnesota National Guard confirmed yet even on his own website he still calls himself command sergeant major apparently his resume has more padding than Joy Bear's toilet seat his Ros has more padding it's one word bro no one cares so did he lie about his rank to F political aspirations just as he managed to avoid a war does it matter when your job is to lead young men in battle but your desire to dine with Barack and Michelle matters more you probably had no business leading anyone to be he was the chairman of the veteran affairs Committee in Congress that's such [ __ ] that's ridiculous you can't be like well he just wanted to have a uh dinner with Barack and Michelle like every Congress person gets to do like what the [ __ ] he's St in the House of Representatives not the Senate and yet the Harris campaign just posted this video of Walt talking about how the weapons he carried shouldn't be allowed anywhere but the battlefield I spent 25 years in the Army and I hunt and I gave the money back and I'll tell you what I have been doing I've been voting for common sense legislation that protects the Second Amendment but we can do background checks we can do CDC research we can make sure we don't have reciprocal carry among states and we can make sure that those weapons of war that I carried in war is the only place where those weapons are at M next still tell us he used his bayonet to do butter carving but if Tim wal said we yeah dude oh my God how he's so unfunny he get turned down by every woman on The View he hates them in unsettling him out I think it's because he doesn't have like a real job so all he does during the day is what like have daytime TV on and he always sees joy bayar and [ __ ] we should ban the very weapons he carried in this bad on your I know dude it's like it's it's like a bit in and of itself so bad car any weapons they just don't get it doesn't that mean we can keep all of our weapons great I wanted Abrams tank I don't think Greg Gutfeld owns any weapons personally and he shouldn't he should not have in an ideal world he would be denied his application for a license to purchase and own a firearm and if he had one his yearly exam that he has to take to maintain that firearm in this Ideal World would prove him eventually incapable of owning a weapon that's my dream world due to mental instability again he's never been to a war zone unless you count his State during the George Floyd riots in reality when his unit got called for deployment to Iraq after he'd been appointed to acting senior enlisted leader he bailed to run for Congress but now even CNN is calling him out Walts did make a comment speaking to a group he's done it a couple of times where he has used language that has suggested that he carried weapons in a fighting situation there is a difference between being in a combat area being involved at a time of war and actually being in a position where people are shooting at you there is no evidence that at any time Governor Waltz was in a position of being shot at and some of his language could easily be seen to suggest that he was so that is absolutely false holy that's [Applause] CNN I know wow who who did Waltz piss off did he steal one of Jake tappers copies of Jug's magazine I remember those meanwhile listen to you what Minnesota senator Tina Smith comparing Waltz to JD Vance well here is Tim wals who enlisted when he was 177 years old he served in the National Guard for 24 years and I'm not aware of any military service that JD Vance has ever uh served so let's just make the comparison there let's not Tina yeah he was in Afghanistan yeah he hit the waltz leaving out the main point no one is accusing Vance of lying and it's kind of hard to believe you're not aware of any military service V served what else are you not aware of that you stole John Denver's [Applause] haircut crazy fact is lies like this got Brian Williams demoted and the closest he came to combat was being near Matt Low's office Trump literally just lied recently about like going down in a helicopter which is similar to what Brian Williams was fired for lying about but whatever we don't have to talk about anything he said cuz he's [ __ ] hiding from the media right now ironically he did one [ __ ] presser and then he's like K's hiding from the media and then he's like I'm not doing any rallies for a month I'm sleepy I'm tired maybe he'll do some they ain't scheduled but apparently the new tactic here is to muddy the waters right Nance JD Vance has criticized him as never having been in combat and has he and has he well has J vanice been in combat well I he was over in Iraq I think I think wow these are just some journalists now n JD never said he was in watch this for real yeah man a lot of people watch Gutfeld he's like the number one he more so than Laura Ingram definitely filled in Tucker's spot but doesn't have the same reach for obvious reasons comat unlike Waltz which you would have clearly heard if your last facelift hadn't blocked your ears the the oddest take though comes from mayor Pete who who wrote quote denigrating a soldier's service based on whether he deployed to a war zone is kind of like denigrating a woman's citizenship based on whether she happens to have children which is what JD Vance did I guess he's just going to pretend like he doesn't know about that two months of paternity leave makes him an expert on child birth I this the worst the worst analogy ever a non-deployed soldier is like a childless woman maybe if the childless woman tells no it's about the denigration it's not he's so dishonest he's like well all you're comparing you're saying they're the same kind of person it's like no no it's the attitude of the whatever tells people she has kids to get benefits [Applause] boom mayor Pete manages to derail train he looks like he would play like like an evil guy in a movie and conversations so it seems that them's only fight when it's political then they circle the wagons the problem is what they're defending for many Americans is indefensible you can lie about Stolen Valor but you can't make veterans forget about it let's look out tonight's gu yeah gutfield does air kind of late because it's considered like a late night show and there are definitely a lot of people that just leave it on after watching their Fox News for the day gets cold feet Fox tributor Johnny Joey Jo sh he was the cute one on oh my god dude I hate The Hunger Games comparisons when they talk about like the Met Gala and [ __ ] cuz Republicans dress like The Hunger Games every [ __ ] regular day it's the [ __ ] clashing colors and the insane patterns and the nonsensical makeup Kennedy Saves the World podcast Kennedy he's destroyed more snowflakes than rock salt comedian LZ and his ear canal is bigger than the Eerie Canal you just like didn't say anything you just gibberish Joey help guide this conversation in the right place because I know that a lot like when if you if people aren't aware of Stolen Valor they're not in the military they can be e they could be understandably ambivalent about these details because the the thing that I hear is soul and Valor is the worst [ __ ] story dude it's such a non story it's crazy four years National Guard I mean you didn't do that isn't that good enough but that isn't the point because people who who do Stolen Valor are in the military for the most part yeah so here's what's funny about this nobody's denigrating him for not going to combat yeah they didn't just say one day you know what you were in the military but you didn't go to combat so it doesn't count he said he went to combat they're mad at him or pointing out that he denigrated his own service by by in his own words serving 2 years in National Guard wasn't enough he had to go it's not a story and it's not real it's so dumb critics accuse walls of embellishing military career wow lie and say the weapon I carried in war or to leave it just leave it just open enough that somebody can infer that his his deployment and support of operation during Freedom would have been in Afghanistan where most people who deployed in support of operation enduring Freedom went and so he's done this he's used this as a as an opportunity to get folks to support him to get veterans to believe he went to combat and served in war it doesn't work it doesn't it's a weak angle it's a really weak angle of attack no one cares they're not talking about policy right now they're spending all this time talking about like specific military rank and Military jargon that is literally quite literally more confusing than pronouns I'm not even joking it is way more confusing people know more about pronouns your average guy knows more about pronouns than he does military ranks so this is stupid and needless but it is filler because they don't have anything else they don't member of a VFW right you didn't go all the straws that they're grasping on eventually they'll hit something they think works as and they'll use that as a branch to the next you know next point in the media cycle that they can like carry over all the Talking Points too but you know until then we're just waiting for them to move on but they just really like they really like The Stolen Valor story and tampons that's it that's all they have on Tim Walls uh he may can but you get what I'm saying and so the idea here is that he has chosen to Define his service based on whether or not he went to war by making it a point to lie about going to war I don't want any veteran to go to war I appreciate my buddies that didn't have to there are only a few of them because if you serve for 24 years for for him for half a dozen while we were at War you almost you have to work work hard not to go to war so that's a different subject um and then the rest of this about he left his unit before uh they deployed listen I don't know if he had fear of death or fear of Miss out but he chose uh to go run for Congress good on him his unit will never forget it there's half a dozen of them that are talking about it when you're in a position of leadership when the word command is in your title you have an added responsibility to not just do the right things but show others what the right things are and the right things are not pulling up chalks and leaving mhm all right you know Kennedy I I did some research on you turns out that you have been to an Army Navy G that's right that's right Greg uh do do you think it was fair of you to to extrapolate that into telling people you were a Navy SEAL you know it felt like it Greg because it was raining yes and so there were Waterworks uh there was a lot of circum navigation of the parking lot um you know I I had to use my powers of deductive reasoning to figure out where to get a white claw within the stadium and um you know frankly every they got to turn off Greg's microphone why did they just leave his microphone on it's nasty he's like choking and dying in the background nober 11th uh I is it the seventh or 11th I I throw I throw myself a little bit of a party because thank you the love because I frankly deserve it yes and uh I'm more Brave than Tim wson and I'm surprised that K Harris didn't pick me yeah do you um do you think um can you get angry about this I can get angry about this I can do whatever you need it I mean like a casting session D Coming Craig there goes is also going to majorly alienate all the rightwing bets that didn't go to war I don't know about that if you're a rightwing bet you're a rightwing bet but it it goes to show that they don't really care about the military and are just like using whatever they can and the collateral damage might be that like some vets start seeing this for like what it is is just like a [ __ ] propaganda moment but I don't know you know it's uh I don't think it like lasts with people it's just a it's filler it's filler their freedom um yes you can because uh I happen to be my domestic partner as a combat veteran and combat sucks and uh it's not like Politico announced that Donald J Trump's political campaign has been hacked earlier this morning representatives from Trump's political campaign confirmed that their internal documents have been compromised and exfiltrated uh the tldr is that Trump's team was a victim of suspected Iranian state sponsored threat actors with the intent of interfering with the United States 2024 election they successfully compromised the Trump campaign staffers by performing in Sp cut off hacked by Iran okay that's the new story all right hell yeah let's go Trump campaign said is it has been hacked that's awesome w w Iran yep that's basically it have a great night everyone I'll see you tomorrow all right thanks [ __ ]