JANUARY 6th Mental Toll

it's 1:45 in the morning and a couple hours ago I came across this post of Matthew Perna and if you don't know who Matthew Perna is he's a January sixer that killed himself his aunt has been standing up for him ever since see Matt he walked in the capital through an Open Door followed the crowd in he was facing 6 to 12 months he turned himself in they up the charge enhancement of terrorism he took his own life I replied to her post I said Matthew's story always makes me cry because I know the mental toll that it took on him I know the weight he felt I wish I had an aunt like you Jerry someone that would fight for me half of my family gave up on me after j6 and the other half says it's my own fault God bless you Jerry God bless mat perum and then another gentleman he posted God bless the J Sixers and a special especially those who couldn't deal with the NeverEnding oppression all J Sixers have Suicidal Thoughts someday there will be a reckoning to which that I replied quote all J Sixers have Suicidal Thoughts end quote I wish that wasn't true in the months after when the Roundup was at its peak I couldn't talk to anyone no one would listen and not many understood when I found out that the FBI was talking to people that knew me it set off a panic and a paranoia that I can't even describe people started distancing themselves from me and even I started to distance myself from people because I was scared scared of what they'd think if they found out my secret scared of who would report me and scared every second of the black SUVs coming to grab me I keep a gun within Arm's Reach at all times luckily I moved to the woods in Arkansas where it's been easier to deal with I consider myself fortunate I had to up and move my life after January 6th because I was terrified my wife was terrified we left Colorado as quickly as possible I sold my first house I built a life in Colorado McKenzie and I we were building lives in Colorado and I moved we took the first chance that we can get luckily when the other half when when my family cut me out didn't support her mom her mom saw it and she supported us and she helped she helped move us to Arkansas I took everything out of my name everything I was scared to put anything in my name I was scared to have predictable movements so McKenzie and I went on the road in a van a van that we lived out of for years we made the most of it but there was a reason behind it and when we moved when we got here to Arkansas we never stayed in one place on our property we have a lot of land and now now I live in a shop and I keep this as well as many others it's even got a little rust on it because we're in a shop at all times we keep guns near us there's one entrance in and one one exit we see who's coming see who's going keep track of everything the paranoia hasn't gone away and now that we're going to have a kid she looked at me and said we got to get this over with the real story of January 6th wasn't the day it was the months and years after and the pressure and the torment and the torture of the federal government on Americans that did nothing wrong they used January 6 fixed as a tool to intimidate Americans from ever questioning them ever again and Matt Perna Matt Perna was a victim of that torture he did nothing wrong nothing and a lot of other Americans did nothing wrong people have been turned in by their husbands wives Brothers Sons daughters grandmothers Aunts Uncles the regime got people to comply and it put fear into people and it made us look like terrorists the regime labeled us as ter terrorists most nights I can't sleep and tonight's one of them