Pushing to Ride - Winter on the Highland Trail 550

[Music] I've been very fortunate to stand on podiums and win gold medals and listen to national anthems I guess Society deems that as a great success the journey is always more valuable to me than the outcome those gold medals that I have aren't special because it's a gold medal it's the journey that I've been on to get [Music] them if you're going into this thing trying to learn about yourself and understand what you're capable of then hell I've succeeded 10 times over this morning I've tried to think and uh 30ks of pushing across the tops words that describe how brutal this is am I disappointed that I stopped am I angry that I stopped well all that gets canceled out when safety's involved I've been told carrying on for another 6 hours I would have lost all the toes on all my feet it became pretty apparent on day two that I was going to get my ass kicked that it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done I was up for it all I have to do is ride the miles a day that's it I got to ride that 100 miles a day and I don't stop until I [Music] do that second day I think it was loud and clear that you know the environment was wasn't going to allow me to do that sort of had to let go of that daily mileage and just do all I could with all the EXP experience I have in the Scottish mountains I've never seen snow like it it's way harder than I thought it was going to be I knew it was going to be hard but it's so much [Music] harder I probably pushed too hard when it was clear my objective was not attainable I needed more time but I didn't have it so the only way to try and manage that was to keep pushing and keep pushing and keep pushing something amazing about the Highland TR is the variety of terrain that you cover you can read books you can watch films but when you immerse yourself in that stuff that's that's the essence of it that's where the beauty is the freedom I felt being able to ride you know in the mountains and and on on that terrain was was ecstasy you know it was amazing um but those periods were relatively shortlived as hard as it was that's the whole purpose of me doing Adventures like this to to go really deep to question yourself to find out who you really are pushing up the top of Glenn golly I think this is trying to get to the beac horn got to say there it's a bit of a [Music] killer going around the beac hor was uh 17 km section and it took me 18 hours I signed on to going through the night I knew I was going to have to go through the night but the conditions the blizzard the deep snow I mean I knew I was empty I needed to stop but there wasn't anywhere to stop here we go I've uh I've gone about 200 m in an hour I found a boulder and thought oh maybe I can get behind that and the spin drift coming over the top of it was so fast as quickly as I cleared a platform for my tent and it just filled back in behind me and I knew at that point that I was I was in this with a long haul my arms were cramping my legs were naked you know everything was frozen I hadn't drunk anything for a while I knew the thing to do was keep [Music] going too many hours pushing I didn't waver I didn't lose my cool I never got upset during that battle and I signed up for that at 9:00 when I left Glen golly and I knew it was going to be hard that never got to me Descent of the beac horn um there you go the biggest shock was when I got down to the lock on the other side after you know pushing through the night having a really hard day and it was the probably the emotion it's funny rocks all over the [Music] hill that my [Music] mess just got down and seen the [Music] sages it was the release I think of all the things over that night that I just didn't allow myself to think about that that raar emotion just came out it's really easy to unravel in those situations when you feel that emotion bottle up you can just let it go you're free when you get that in life Let It Go with what 6 hours a daylight during the ride I was going to spend the majority of time in the dark and I've got to deal with that you I live with that dayto day all the time with my vision in daylight or or in the dark with the head torure on so I kind of feel like that's a little playing field then you know that I do this stuff even though I'm disabled it's just it's just who I am I don't want people to look at what I do and think it's incredible because I can't see I hope it it's starts to it starts think in people's mind well if he can do that what can I [Music] do I'm pretty fortunate in the way that I look at success as an athlete I've been fortunate enough to realize failures made success you know I fail on a daily basis with what I do for training and racing but that's when you learn the most that journey is was for me was massively successful because I discovered and learned so much about myself I grew as a person I found things out about myself I didn't know that's success you know records will be broken success for me is going Beyond yourself and learning about yourself um I've got a problem I'm getting Cross by my feet I need to try and find some uh try find some tow warmers or hand warmers or something or else they're start they're starting to go waxy and there's a couple of dark blue spots and they're completely [Music] num there was no going on that was clear you know that was absolutely clear I need I needed medical help ASAP I think what I massively underestimated was the damage that had already been done like I wasn't that aware of frostbite I guess the images I've always seen the past of people with like solid black fingers and toes and you know like jet black and I knew I was a long way from that what I massively underestimated was how far into that process I was uh I've had to stop I've got frostbite on my toes so starting to go black yeah yeah the biggest shock was like 10 days after I stopped and the state my feet had gotten where the black started appearing the blisters were there and um they was they were still pretty much numb then all of a sudden you start to realize I thought I'd got away with it where in fact I was probably three stages into it and after the rewarming baths and and in vanesse I I was shocked when I you know when all of a sudden these blisters were appearing on my feet how they evolved in the next kind of two weeks was was frightening and it became very clear how close to losing all my toes I was I'd like to say when I go back cuz I think I will because the draw and the excitement of being in that position again where you think you're completely on your knees and empty and you carry on you break through that ceiling is too much to let [Music] go