Fiancé Disowned Me, Was I Wrong to Leave For Last Week Tonight

aita for leaving home after my fiance said I'm not his son's real mom original post September 15th 2023 sorry about any mistakes English is not my first language and I'm emotional I a 29f met my fiance Kevin 32m 6 years ago when Joe was two I wasn't planning on dating a single parent as I felt I was too young to be a parent in any capacity but I fell in love with Kevin and when I eventually got to meet Joe I fell in love with him too Joe's biom mom was not in the picture from at the time she wanted absolutely nothing to do with Joe when I met them she hadn't seen Joe for a year and a half for the past 6 years she hasn't been in touch with Joe or Kevin at all I've helped raise Joe all these years I see him as my own I love him as my own he calls me Mom in every way except for biologically he's my son and I'm his mom in February this year we even made it legally official with adoption it was honestly the best moment of my life in the beginning of Summer Joe's biom mom contacted Kevin and asked if she could see Joe we discussed it and decided that we would give her a chance maybe she had needed some time to grow up Kevin and Joe met her and it was fine all was good at first I even met her and she was perfectly nice and lovely but the last few weeks something has changed Joe and Kevin has spent more in more time with her at Kevin's insistence I have not been there Joe had started acting out more than he ever has before and I've been suspecting it's because of biom Mom's influence I feel like this was confirmed on Tuesday when Joe said he didn't have to listen to me because CU I'm not his real mom it hurt a lot but he's a child so I can't be too angry with him I talked to my fiance about it later and that I felt like maybe they should cut down a little on the time spent with biom Mom and have me be there in the future we got into an argument and when I repeated what Joe had said he responded with well technically you aren't his real mom it felt like a punch I couldn't believe and still can't believe he said that I was so hurt that I just left to stay at my parents place and have been here ever since I've tried talking to Kevin and he's apologized over and over again but I just can't get over that he sees me like that I have talked to Joe and said that I just need some time away but that I love him very much he's so sad and there's nothing I want more than hold him but every time I think about going home and seeing Kevin knowing what he said it makes me SB am I awful for needing some space I feel like a terrible mother but I don't know what to do update June 29th 2024 9 months later hello it's been a while but I have been thinking more about the post I made recently I never really stopped thinking about it to be honest but I wanted to focus on real life and not what to write to strangers online I really want to thank everyone that commented and shared their opinions even the more outlandish ones I won't bore you with all the details of the past year and try to keep this short but I wanted to give an update because so many have reached out and asked how I'm doing which is so nice the night I made the post I went back home to Kevin and Joe it was emotional but I needed to do it Joe was already asleep but Kevin was up he was so apologetic and cried a lot I told him we needed to talk but not that night because we were both exhausted we were going to have a few normal days for Joe's sake and then send him on a sleepover at his grandparents so we could talk I also told him I needed a motherson date with Joe the next day me and Joe went to the zoo together and spent the day having a blast I did explain to him in a kid-friendly way that his comment had hurt me a lot he was very sorry and confirmed what I thought which was that his biom mom had made comments like that we talked for a long time you know for a 8-year-old and I asked him if he wanted to keep seeing his bioom and he gave a shrug and said she had been fun at first but he didn't like when she told him off SL yelled didn't love that she was doing that I won't try to explain the whole conversation here but I think it was a good one he's such a sweet sensitive little guy and nothing makes me prouder than being his mom me and Kevin did have a long emotional conversation the night we Joe went to my parents Joe's biom mom was and is a very manipulative I'm not equipped to diagnose her but narcissistic isn't far off he was not sleeping with her as many of you thought Kevin and her relationship was not good abusive I want to say and the way it ended with her giving up all custody SLP parental rights of Joe was difficult for Kevin and he struggled a lot as a single father he admitted he never quite healed properly from her but didn't really notice it until she came back she manipulated him again and it all brought back so much baggage he thought he left behind him he said he knew there was no excuse for what he said and he wishes he never said it but everything was too much and confusing I said I wasn't ready to forgive him but I wanted to work with him I know this will disappoint some of you who wanted me to leave him but I cannot give up on this man who has been so wonderful for years over this I felt like we deserved a chance at fighting through this together the next day Kevin contacted Joe's biom mom and said we needed some boundaries with her he said he felt she had manipulated him and his emotions and he couldn't allow her in Joe's life with the way she was acting we decided that going non- contact with her for the time being was best for us and Joe we talked to Joe about this first thing is she disappeared without an answer to this literally nothing changed her number and everything I'm not sure what happened but we do have a plan if she ever decides to come back again we are a team through and through we contacted a couple's counselor slamily therapist and working with her has been great we have done it just me and Kevin as well as with Joe Kevin has apologized profusely more times than I can count Kevin has also been to individual therapy which he says has been good for him it's been a pretty intense couple of months with a lot of personal growth from both of us but I believe we're on the other side now I have forgiven Kevin and we are moving on together and better also the reason I decided to update today is I just found out I'm pregnant I literally have told no one because I want to tell Kevin and Joe first well second now in a cute way but haven't figured it out yet I'll think of something but life is pretty damn good right now so I hope you all have a wonderful day/ night/ morning Story 2 aita 4 hiding money from my husband update 4 years later original post July 2nd 2020 tldr at the bottom I can't use my main account for obvious reasons my husband is out of work he does odd jobs around town to bring in a few hundred a month I am employed but the job doesn't pay well saving money is hard a few months ago we had a BC failure and now we are expecting saving money became an even bigger priority for me my husband seemed to want to spend more because he said my pregnancy was causing him stress and activating his anxiety and depression and partying help he says all of that will be over when the baby comes husband received a really generous job offer recently he decided to use the money I had been saving he figured he could replace it with the first several paychecks he never contributed a penny to that savings fund husband claims that since we're married it was far money and he had every right to it the job offer fell through husband then admitted he took my money it took me months to scrape that together and he blew through it in 2 weeks his friends have been telling me that I'm not allowed to be upset because we're married so that money was marital property I have also been told that husband needed the money more than I did because it helped him cope and I should just be glad he partied instead of worse husband said that he will not touch any future savings for the sake of the baby it all came to a head last weekend when husband ran out of six I ended up scrounging together change to buy his packs so he could make it until I got paid husband did not believe that I was broke while I was at work on Monday he went through our apartment to look for any money I may have hidden he found $20 in a winter coat I had in storage that I had forgotten about he also logged into my online banking and saw that I had money in my account but that money was earmarked for a bill he called my work twice to yell at me and then chewed me out when I got home he told me that I am a liar and that I withheld something that he needed I tried to explain that I had no clue that there was any money in my winter clothing and that the money in my bank account was for a bill he didn't care at least two of his friends have told me that I could have paid the bill a few days late if it meant supporting my husband while he's going through so much this morning husband told me that since I am a liar and willing to hide things from him that he doesn't feel like he needs to pay back the money that he took until I stopped being such an to him I really wasn't lying as far as I am concerned bill money is non-negotiable aita for not telling him about the bill money tldr version husband wanted something to help him cope with all of the things he's going through I told him that we were broke I did have some money but it was to pay a bill husband says omitting that money makes me a liar and the ITA relevant comments commenter info is your husband literally 8 years old o3s he thinks I was punishing him because he had an affair when he first found out I was pregnant I have been told by friends and family that a lot of guys stray when they first find out I'm not happy but that's not why I wouldn't let him have the money I was just taught by my grandma that bills come before anything else commenter NTA obviously what the foo asteris K is wrong with your husband if money is so tight how can he possibly justify even buying smokes his friends are making this situation much worse and he's probably blowing up his side of the story to them to make you seem like you're not giving him any money make him get a job and make him pay for his own oop I have been told that one of his friends is spreading the idea that the baby is not his and I don't know if this guy came up with it on his own the same guy is telling people that I am financially abusive towards my husband it's not helping things more info on husband SL their relationship he's from a southern background and his family is very a boys will be boys my family is fundamental and thinks divorce is a sin he is constantly telling our mutual friends that he would be lost without me and he doesn't know how he got so lucky to have someone who takes such good care of him he told someone just yesterday that he would have died years ago without me that it's proof of what a wonderful mom I'll make the only person in my circle who has been actively telling me to leave him is my best friend she likes to point out how he's talking out of both sides of his mouth he says she's just trying to start she wanted to start a GoFundMe for me to replace the money he took so I can leave I told it's his responsibility not hers the bank account we share a phone so he has access to my banking app the account is in my name only I Chann the password once but he said that was proof that I was lying and hiding things commenter WTF why are you still with him Are you seriously bringing a child into this mess Ash him for obvious reasons and you for allowing his behavior by being a doormat please let my harsh words be reality check you need to see that this relationship is not right it's borderline toxic o op well according to my mother no one will ever love me but my family and that's because they have to I'm lucky I found anyone who can stand me at all abortion that was considered but I live in a state where that option is very hard to access comment July 3rd 2020 next day is one of you a witch is there an aita curse SL blessing that I was previously unaware of my husband partied a little too hard and got himself arrested this morning due to previous Behavior he's going to have to sit in jail for a few weeks while they sort things out you've all given me things to think about and the universe gave me time to mle them over update post June 29th 2024 4 years later I made a post on this account four years ago when things were really bad in my life unbeknownst to me my husband was addicted to drugs his friends who were all on his side were also doing drugs with him here's my update to that situation my now ex husband was contemplating getting rid of us both him getting arrested that weekend in 2020 saved my life I've gone low contact with my family my best friend friend helped me get a new job I met some people who helped me get a better place my ex is still wallowing down in the gutter but at least he didn't take us with him my daughter was born safe happy and Lov life isn't perfect but it's so much better than it used to be comment commenter a few questions why did he get arrested when you say he was planning to get rid of you you mean as in leaving you right o o one I didn't want to admit this 4 years ago but I'm okay to talk about it now he came home high and drunk and beat the Daylights out of me I'm lucky to be alive I suffered a permanent injury and he still only got a 6-month sentence two no he wasn't planning on leaving me he was planning on shuffling us off of the Mortal coil again only 6 months for all of this his probation officer called him one of the scariest people that she has ever had to deal with