Episode 95: Should We Bring Back The 90’s Childhood? - A Conversation with Shay Mooney

[Music] this is unexpected with Hannah Love in This podcast you will gain A New Perspective of how God loves you enough to call you to things that you couldn't have imagined for yourself good morning babe good morning how are you we're back we're back coffee and ready to go well almost I'm going to I'll be drinking mine as we uh have this combo today thanks for coming on you are so welcome how's your day going this morning well you've you've been here it's been wild times but that's our life that's our life uh my favorite episodes are with you I know I'm partial but I feel like we just get to sit down and catch up so it's nice this is like a good excuse to I am going to start scheduling these make make plans to have to talk it's like a date morning date day okay well every everybody um welcome back I am here this morning with my husband sha Mooney and um who even knows what we're going to get into this morning who knows um I actually had some questions written down but then I'm using my phone to record so we'll just have to trust the old Noggin to see if I remember there's only one that I can remember off the top of my head and I'm going to start with it and it might be one that we should have ended with cuz it's like it's pretty deep but I'm just going to go ahead and dive in okay all right take another sip of this coffee yeah take a sip I'm going to lean down and get a sip too if there was one thing that our boys remembered about you I mean not assuming that like we're at your funeral and they're like they're remembering the best things about Dad but just like if there's one thing that they like would always say to other people about their dad what would you wish that that one thing would be just starting off heavy huh man that's a really really good question um when I'm thinking about that question I always think about what I think about my dad and how proud I am of him at this stage of my life you know being a parent now and looking back on you know what it was that I saw in my dad when I was a kid I would say one of the most important things was his Integrity you know I saw what was behind the scenes not a lot of people got to see that of the things that he did you know without when no one was watching but I was watching you know if there was one thing I'm sure there's a million other things that when I answer this question I'm would be like well I should have said that I would probably say Integrity though the person that I am behind closed doors that nobody else gets to see I hope that you know the boys say that I'm a man of of strong integrity and when I say something I do it and I mean it and I don't know I think that that has carried with me yeah by watching my dad it stuck with me so hard and and it it really just it shapes such a it's one of the reasons I have such a strong image of who my dad is and you know the kind of a man he is I guess mhm so I would I mean it's only natural I guess that I would say I hope that my boys see me like I see my dad that's pretty sweet it's pretty you're trying to get me crying first thing I'm going to tear up first thing this morning um haven't even had my coffee that was pretty sweet babe what do you look forward to most in raising our boys oh man I just all of it I know it's that's not the answer you're looking for but it's always just like I mean it's the little things you know it's every moment that we've ever had with them you know and you can only really see those moments when you look back because I feel like you always have this I don't know it's really hard to do in the moment of you know you have these these really big life moments and you don't really realize that they're going to be core memories I guess yeah until way later and it's just like little little things and most of the time it's just like a little snippet in your phone or a little memory you have have and I mean one for me would be Asher you know watching him at our old house in noinville and you know have the mirror fell on him you know it was just like not a big mirror it was like a handheld mirror a handheld mirror uh he had grabbed it and he you know toppled over and it was just like I don't know it just it was such his personality of just being silly and I don't know those those little moments that you don't expect that's why I guess what I look forward to most about raising our boys is just all those little moments and being able to look back and you know say we did our very very best and and really gave them the best opportunity that we possibly could and it's kind of sad because I've been like mentioning birthdays I mentioned to Ames last night that he would be five on his next birthday which like that one like packs A Punch Yeah and Asher just looked at me and he was like Mommy do you always get sad when we have birthdays and he was like do you do you get sad because we're growing up he literally asked me that he's seven yeah and you know he's just always perceptive and I was just like yeah Mommy's mommy's sad that you're growing up but also and I said this I was like it's the privilege of a lifetime that we get to watch you grow up but we just remember you little wow it's too early in the morning be tearing up this is just all we do is like we haven't cried in a while like you want to go talk about this is let's go record an an uh an episode session straight up early in the morning it's it's way too early to cry I have sleep in my eyes I can't cry sleep out of my eyes no I Asher is always one to throw hit you with a question or a comment that you're just like first of all where how your Genius the way that you construct your sentences are insane but man it it really is just like a it happens so fast it happens fast I remember literally yesterday that Asher you know was first getting here to us you know we were making all the announcements and it was just like it was such a crazy Whirlwind yeah and now that little boy's seven yeah I remember being seven seven is you're you're no longer at the age where it's like oh you don't really remember anything like he's remembered things for like the last four years you know what I mean like once you get to kind of three and a half four you start to have memories of your life and it starts to I mean your whole life obviously from the beginning is like everything you do as a parent you want to make sure that you're doing but like until you're 3 years old you don't remember them so a lot of like your values and and things are probably you know constructed earlier than that I I know that like it all matters it all matters but like you start to you remember you might you know act a certain way and be like why do I act that way like well it was something that happened when you were one through three you know but you don't remember it you know what I mean but I I remember like memories from my childhood just like going to work with Dad you know when I was kind of that that age and I remember like I'm just this is crazy that we're crying this early I remember like a huge moment in my life that like I don't remember any other memories really around this but I remember I would I would always stand up my dad's truck he had a bench seat Chevy and I would always stand up and like put my arm around him and I remember like one day I was just like I look down on him and I was like Hey Dad look my head hits the ceiling my dad says like he he'll never forget that and I will never forget that I think I was like right at 7 years old which is tells you how how short I was then until 7 years old the V SE was not there was not a lot of height there yeah like I remember that and like I it was such a big moment in my life because I just it was just me and Dad and it was like the guys hanging out you know and I was an only boy and so like whenever I had you know I would go to work with Dad a lot but I remember driving to baseball practice being like Dad I can touch the ceiling any I was so excited and for me it was like I'm growing up and for my dad it was like he's growing up he's like crying you know and now I get it cuz I can't even talk about our kids without absolutely becoming a mess mess it's embarrassing but I've gotten over it I've gotten over it I don't really that embarrassing yeah I'll cry I don't care we care enough to cry you know yeah exactly gosh literally wiping sleep out of my eyes I know I've got I've got so many questions and I feel like just putting you on the spot this morning feel free to ask me anything too by the way why would you do this me what do what what do you feel like okay let me say it like this we we have a lot of people that like to listen to us because I feel like one of your gifts is that you're very candid and you've been very vulnerable about a lot of stuff that we've gone through in our marriage what is something that you would share with people that are in early years of their marriage what is something that you would share maybe with with the husbands or the men that are listening About That season of life cuz the first few years are can be I'm not saying always but can be pretty rough but I'd be just surprised if they're not I me you know if you go through you know a couple years of Remar and it's and it's super easy and you're in a honeymoon phase like great for you but I think it's important to know that life is Seasons yeah and I think that a big important thing of just like you know that old I think it was I don't remember who it was talking about it on a on a show or something but they were asking like if there was one thing that you could tell your younger self you know what would it be and and his answer was this too shall pass yeah it's just like all of it like the good the bad the ugly like it's all going to you know pass and I think that there's something beautiful about that knowing obviously you ride those highs and lows but trying to find that middle ground I think that's what we're called to do as Christians is you know Jesus is our Rock it's not the rock that's you know paragliding from the mountain you know and it's not like you know you're trying to become more like Jesus which is he's a rock yeah and I think to me it was like it was a lot like when I stopped you know drinking it was when you're drinking all the time it's like highs and lows and like you you know you can kind of fall into that of chasing those highs and lows even like in your own life of you know chasing after award shows or whatever it might be like you're chasing after these like moment yeah whatever it is you know when you when you go sober and you're living this life of trying to be more steady it is a little bit more like it's a shell shock because there's not these jolts of excitement you know there there that will come but it's not as exciting it's not as high but it's also not as low you're kind of right here in the middle it's kind of a boring life in every in in a good way and stable I think is probably the but I like boring I like boring because and I I heard John Mayer talking about this when he was talking about him going sober it is very boring right there and then you have to get to that point where you know your bar is right here rather than going up and down and up and down your bar is right here but over time you learn that your life gets better and it's more enriched and it's more full and your bar starts to be raised up here where it's just like everything is better and now I get to enjoy my life all the time I feel it it's almost like when you're in that place of coping and chasing the high you're missing the in between yeah um and so by that I just mean that you're a little bit blind to those ordinary moments in life that are actually the core memory moments yeah and you're blind to them because you're so busy trying to reach that next thing that you're missing like the kids playing in the sprinklers in the front yard that's like their whole childhood memory yeah you know one little memory to you that like you know kind of flies by but when they're looking back on their life and CU right now if you do it you close your eyes and think about your life when you're a kid it's going to be a series of pictures and like little video clips that your mind plays and that to you is like the biggest moment ever yeah you know what I mean but like if you ask your mom like like what would that be and maybe your mom got to enjoy those moments but like a parent is is going to be different most of the time um but our kids are going to remember those moments like it you know their life depended on it and I think that there's a little bit of there's Beauty but there's also Grace in that like I think back and when I'm thinking about my childhood you know my dad was gone a lot like working and we went to work with him a lot and know your dad was gone a lot I don't necessarily look back on my life and think should have been around more yeah I I've never thought that you know what I'm saying but because to us that was just normal yeah but it's also I think that there's a big lesson to be taken from that and should be like you know Solace for parents of just like you know what they're not going to they don't know hold you accountable for every little thing I think that it's like all right what do you remember about your parents I remember that my dad loved me more than anything and that he would work you know a billion hours a week just to you know make sure we were taken care of I know my mom would you know she loved me and she would do anything me she was always working around the farm and making sure that we you know all these things like they they loved me and they would do it they would die for me and I feel like that's the two things that it's just like I would do that for our kids you would do that for our kids and I think at the end of the day you know you you go back and forth of all these you know discipline methods and whatever it might be that you kind of you know you try to get better at and hopefully evolve over time you know in your parenting uh but it's like at the end of the day we should take a little bit of comfort knowing we look back on our parents knowing they loved me they would do anything for me you know and they would literally give their life for me and that as a kid is just like that's pretty awesome yeah that gives you kind of the comfort and the steadiness that you need you know so I keep seeing on reals you know that I'm too old to be on tick TI tick tick tick you can't be on tick tick tick tick you know that I'm too old to be on the fact that you called it tick tick just proved your own point the coffee is not in my veins yet okay we're we'll start that from the top I don't think we will I think that's going to be the the main clip we play for this okay I've been seen these reals and I'm too old for Tik Tok and so I always just see it on the reals but I've been seeing these reals and and they're talking about how our generation the millennial generation is this weird hybrid generation where we're Bridging the Gap between two like totally different dimensions Dimensions where we have the Boomers who had only an experience with like life and childhood and and no technology in that childhood era and then we've got the Gen X behind us that is only raised only raised with social media with internet I mean we were raised in a time where I mean we both talk about this all the time but we're like we remember the Nokia phones we remember the bag phones my dad had a bag phone in his truck truck cuz he was a truck driver it's pretty cool I remember dialup internet you know and you have to choose between like and your parents are always like you can only be on for one hour cuz someone might call you know you can't get a phone call on the landline if you're on the internet just for you Youngs yeah anyway we remember all of this because it was so new to us like MSN or what is it was the messenger AOL Messenger AO I didn't have AOL I had that one MSN I don't know I don't know I don't know I know what you're talking about yeah anyway we had those and your handle was like always song lyrics I mean just like all these things that like Millennials can reminisce on just like your Facebook status was always song lyrics how embarrassing we crawled so you guys could run I mean we had we foundations for you guys you thought I thought that Smoky Eagle 11 was going to be the coolest email of all time in my head I was like you know and because you you get in the suggestion suggested you know things and I I was like well you know we were the Eagles you know and so I wanted to be sounds pretty cool so I was like I'm running so fast that there's smoke coming out smoke Eagle whoa people are going to stop on the street and say merch smoke was yours I no I was I said I could see us making merch with like an eagle and like smoke behind it and like Freedom you know just there go I like it I thought you were going to say I thought you said that your handle was bacon merch it was not got it um what was your I know it's your your email I like still have it to this day to be honest with you and I was fortunate because my older sister made it for me and she was old enough to be like you're going to want this to not be embarrassing when you're older yeah she made all the emails for all of us and I'm real thankful for that because I still have it and it's like my spam email but I still go back there sometimes so it's not something like you know homegrown honey it's just like my name and numbers that's anyway you got lucky I digress what are your thoughts like do you feel a weit also if yall hear something our life is truly like chaos this is just the sounds of it uh we've got a bunk room Renault going on upstairs he took a lunch when we first started this so was quiet for a second we have lunch that I've ever heard of he walked out of the door like five minutes ago he also just walked by us and he was like what are these two doing yeah this is how we have our morning conversations anyway my question is do you feel like there's a weight yes like do you feel personal responsibility for raising our kids in a way that may be different from the generation right behind us because the generation right behind us is essentially I mean I know we were the guinea pig generation that's what I've heard us called because everything was brand new to us and so then what has happened is we've just like passed it all the technology down and it's just like oh it's a given for the kids but now we see this generation that like doesn't know life apart from it has not had a childhood apart from it do you feel like it is up to our generation to in some way take that back um and reestablish what a healthy childhood should be for the kids that we're raising I think it's absolutely crucial yeah I think if we don't do it it could be not only physically and mentally damaging but I just think that where that pushes our society I think it's you know not to sound dramatic but I think that we're the last line of defense for our kids and this next Generation on which way that Compass points I agree because I think that it's I we've seen the dangers of what social media can do I mean I we kind of experienced it you know very early on when we when Facebook first started and all these things like zanga and whatever else and like we didn't even have Facebook until College you had to have like a college email to have it but we saw like you know online bullying was kind of a thing like if you online bull like what a loser yeah you bully online what what an idiot you know like that was not a thing and now it's like you know it started to become a thing where it was just like you know if you were on Facebook bullying someone when when we were a kid like everyone would like attack like what are you doing like are you insane like that person was not real that it wasn't real life you know what I mean and then it has evolved into this thing where everyone feels like they have a voice and that they need to share and it's normally not something that is kind everyone does have a voice and you everyone needs to stand for something you don't have to go out of your way however and spew hate of like I think you're stupid not only do I not like your product I'm going to go find products that I don't like I just would never go like you would never in our time the the thinking now is so different like I would never go into Walmart and find brands that I didn't care for right and yell at them right and run around telling people like I I don't know what you're looking for cereals I don't know if you've seen what Captain Crunch is doing but I hate them I hate their taste I hate this that's what that's the kind that's how far out of people's way that they go now to spread hate it's no longer giving love to something that you love it's it's also it has to be in that on the other right spec end of the spectrum of that of like I hate this I hate this I hate this this is what I love would you do that if you were in a room full of people in person you know me it's you would walk into this same group of people that's like on a chat and just all of a sudden start pointing fingers and saying hateful things to their faces like if if it was face to face you probably wouldn't do that no nobody would and there's some there that would well yes but I also feel like it's because it's become so commonplace that this generation behind us is so desensitized to it that they might could I'm not saying that they would but it would be easier for them to drop that bomb yeah you know what I mean and I think I mean part of the problem and part of the danger of what social media is it's like social media has become its own entity I guess would be the best way to describe it and everyone like you know these kids are almost coming up with almost a a another sense where it's like you know smelling hearing even like an emotion like it it's a it's a part of them it's a part of their spirit is like their online their online identity I guess is a good way to put it but they don't know who they are outside of that they don't but it's like you know they have this this online identity where it just becomes it's a whole different thing it's a whole different world it's almost a different dimension uh and Aura I guess of just like how people how you're perceived on there how you go about you know your your business and promoting things like it's a whole other dimension that is now opened up and that didn't exist when we were kids and I feel like it's really really important to know that we don't have to have that and you don't have to live in that world right it didn't even exist that long ago but people are living and dying by how people perceive them online and I think this was like a Black Mirror episode I if you heard of that show there was one episode that I've seen kind of INB because it was it was very scary because it was so real life of like kind of how the world works and it was in the future and basically there was no money anymore your currency was how many likes you got oo that's scary and it was really scary because it it kind of is that way and you have a whole generation of people who are not only like starting business which is great like to have a an online presence and to have like a following like it's a whole other you know way people are making a living which is really cool and I think it's there's so many pluses from it I think people are like talking way more openly about stuff like I'm on here crying in the morning about our kids like and I want people to know that's just fine you know but it also has opened up this whole other thing they don't have the benefit of what we had we lived a life before this existed right and so you're I have my feet on the ground and I can also have my head a little I can dip my head in the clouds a little bit up here and have fun you know yeah but for kids it starts when they're very young they fully think that like if they get bullied online which it's bad out there for kids they're brutal I was bullied in person so I'm like do you know how out of your way you had to go to bully someone back in the day like it was a little harder you know you had go there and like you know find them every day physically V nowadays you can just I mean I get bullied every day on on the internet you know it doesn't bother me right but it's because we have the foundation of like we grew up with the privilege of like having a childhood of having friends having community and learning who we are in relation to who made us or maker and we had that Foundation before the World opened up and then but we also worked at it oh we we put so much work I've I've really worked at not getting my feelings hurt sure I mean hurts when someone goes on there and you're you're creating art and you've done you've spent hours and been away from your family making music and doing all these things and then you put it out and then a person that you have never met and that really doesn't have an opinion but thinks it's cool to hate people who's on there saying it to everyone is like this isn't country and you guys suck and I hate you and I hate everything you stand for like hold what in the world like what is going on you know like I'm a pretty nice guy you know and and it hurts and then you have to realize that like I I've really had to get to the place and it and it affects every go talk to any musician people don't talk about it a lot but like a lot of our friends that I you know I won't name names because it's I'm sure they've talked about it but like it really affects them it affects their everyday life and I have really worked at it to like not be affected and it still affects me sometimes it never like you you no one is immune to this stuff it really hurts cuz it's real life stuff but I think it's just it's important to know that those people no one no one that is in a healthy place in their life and if and if you're if you're saying this and you're you're like well I did that and I'm in a healthy place you're not you're not in a healthy place at all you're lying to yourself if you go out of your way to say something negative on somebody's post or you know whatever it is and give your opinion that is like putting someone down that's unnecessary it it is so unnecessary also like something is within you is broken yeah I don't want that to be taken out of context of like you're broken like you're you're we're all broken first of all we're all broken but like I something you've been hurt in a way that you feel like you need to hurt others cuz it's like the old saying hurt people hurt people it is so true because I go and I look at the people who you know are commenting this these things and now I just don't I it just it doesn't affect me I've gotten so far away from it of just like of not being angry but just being like you know what like you're you're clearly going through I'll I'll get i'll take things personally and you're like babe let it go and I'm like mad for you it just doesn't matter because I just know that like at the end of the day the they can only hurt me if I let them hurt me sure and they can say something but I know who I am and I know who who's I am and I also just know like what I'm doing this all for and it's just kind of like and you know who you're coming there's nothing that they could possibly do to me that is going to take away my wife take away my kids and take away my faith and take away my home and take away my family there there's nothing that they can do at the end of the day that can do that and so it's just kind of like I'm not going to live my life in a defensive stance but I'm also not going to be I I just want to be at peace I want to be like that rock you know not be affected by the storms that come along wow wow we' really Trail but I think we've got into something good I know you're right U I've seen it and I've watched the work that you've put in over the years years and and the work that I've done too I want our kids to know too which I think is part of the reason that we're so protective over their use of Technology right now and we're we're not quite to that hard hard hard stage where it's like they're asking for phones and they're asking for this and that um but we have cut way back and by way back I mean like we haven't done the iPad at all in like months yeah I actually just like hit it and like we're we can't find it so so whatever you have to do because there is a time period where they have to you know what's the word like detox from it yeah and we don't turn on the TV first thing in the morning and I tell them to go play in the playroom until like Mommy and Daddy and the baby get up or whatever cuz they're big enough to do that now but the days go so much smoother it's like I ask you I think we do have a responsibility because even even if the generation below us has the best in intentions and I'm sure they do because what person becomes a parent and doesn't have good intentions of being a good parent and raising awesome kids you know like that's just a given but they aren't equipped to do that like we are equipped to do that because they did not have the childhoods that we had necessarily that's like painting with a broad brush but I mean what I'm saying is we didn't have cell phones we didn't have internet until we were at least teenagers late teenagers and it wasn't it wasn't the access that people have now and it's a fully different thing too and I I'll get into this because I know that we you've got to go here soon but I think that you know what you just said like we had examples when we were first getting on the Internet we remember childhood we remember childhood before it but it's also like now this next Generation it is so vital that you know we are the examples also of how to react to things as we've talked about a million times like it's it's your kids you know they see you and how you react to a real life scenario a woman comes in the house you know whatever you have an interaction with her and she does something nasty to you and you react with Grace like our kids see that and that's how they're going to want to respond to hate or whatever it is that might happen in our lives and it's like we're not always going to do it right but it's just like I think that you know this generation we didn't have anybody to be like hey how do we deal with online hate with it was like first time like thing and I think that the kids who had you know a childhood that they kind of were able to look at and be like okay like I know that none of this really matters right but then like kind of the generation after us they were fully immersed in it from like young young ages right you know there was no guideline of like how am I supposed to react to this and it's like you know I watched my dad in real life you know how he handled people I watched him you know get sued by people that he was trying to pay their medical bills and he still like responded with kindness and like that's I shaped my my whole personality with things that I saw and so now I feel like it's really important on the internet that we treat like we tell our kids like hey you know first of all these people if they're saying something bad like they're probably hurting themselves take that at face value like and don't pay attention it doesn't matter like cuz if we put weight into it and we are like being hurt if we're giving them we're they're going to think that well that matters you know what I mean but if like we really make sure that we are putting weight into the things that need to be you know put weight in then that's what our kids are going to start to Value if we devalue the things that don't matter where it's like that stuff and we do this we've done this a good job of this we had recently had our some things stolen out of our cars Y and had like 15 grand worth of stuff that was stolen and it really stuck you know stunk for us we like that's a real big bummer you know it's like personal some jewelry and things right and our first response around the kids was it's just stuff and it we said that early on and like our the whole day we were kind of like eh it is what it is and as's like telling all our neighbors and like anyone that comes in the house which you know if you have little kids they just like any news any news they will tell anyone and so they're just like we got robbed and these people stole this and this and you know people are just looking at us and we're like it's just stuff yeah it's just stuff and I know that that affects them cuz I've heard am say like it's a good thing it's just stuff with this sweet little like thing you know it's like I want that to be our kids attitude of like I want them to know that like all this is just stuff right and I want that to be a a main like a core value that they have of just like money is it is not important and it's not important to Mom and Daddy and I want them to and I feel like they they know that CU I we talk about it all the time of like hey money doesn't mean anything I think there's so many things we've tried to touch on in 30 minutes is kind of hard to like Circle back to it but I think you know to new parents and to new moms and dads it's like for one thing there's going to be Seasons there's going to be highs and lows it's not always going to be easy but it's not always going to be hard either yeah and you learn and I feel like you and I you learn as you go and I feel like you know we've been in some lows and we've been in some highs and we've been it's like you learn how to go through these kind of you know ups and downs but the closer you can stay to Jesus the closer it is to feel like you're steady like right now we're about to go on tour and I'm so tired and I'm so over stimulated and I'm so exhausted and I'm like but I know that it's going to be okay right you know and I and I know that it's going to be fine I know that things are going to steady back out even though like we're in a really busy season what's hilarious about it is that neither of us speak about it like for the week leading up to this like knowing that he's going to be gone for the next three months for like a lot of time we don't even talk about it cuz we're just both mentally like preparing ourselves for the jobs that we're gonna have to do and I think that is part of what makes marriage marriage is that we both recognize that we're teammates that we have our jobs to play that his sacrifice is that he has to be away yes to miss the kids he's missing a lot of first and first school days and like all these things that are coming up and then my job is hold down the fort like make sure that that the kids know that um Daddy's working hard to take care of us and that we are going to be just fine here without him we miss him we'll try not to have too much fun without him um but it's hard it's hard on both ends and I appreciate that the older we've gotten and the more work we've done I feel like our therapist told us it's like merging it's actually the hardest part is when he does come home we call it merging because he's going 60 M an hour or 80 on the interstate and then he's got to exit into home life and you guys are going 15 and we're going 15 cuz there's a lot of us in and kids are slow yes they're slow kids are slow but life is fast and so and it's also unexpected it is unexpected I was going to say I feel like another kind of thought that was going into my head is like you know it's not you know God has obviously when you're you know thinking of the the name of this podcast unexpected and the unexpected ways that God has moved over the years and you know but it is like that kind of is marriage and that is Parenthood is you know being being able to navigate the unexpected moments and also how to prepare for the unexpected good moments in your life it's like good and bad you know you're trying to kind of make sure that we stay as close to each other and as close to God as we can so that whenever these unexpected things come we know how to handle those situations there's going to be a million unexpected things that come into our life and on a daily basis it happens where it's just like oh here's this new problem that I never knew existed here's this new fear that I have for my for my kids here's you know it's just like that's kind of been Parenthood for us it's just like you just scared all the time of something where it's like well now I'm terrified of this like I didn't even know that like this is so scary like pools you know are around water's around like drowning exists you know you four-wheelers and all these things that are just like scary that are always there but then you're you're reminded that you know we have a really big God who is fully prepared to deal with the unexpected because doesn't that's how he moves is in unexpected ways and he is able to calm our fears and we're able to live in a really really scary world but he's able to steady us you know because he is our Rock and we're able to kind of move through life in sometimes a boring way that we think is boring but it was really just it was steadying us to get through that yeah that next and I will say this I hope that one day when our kids look back that they look at our lives and are able to and I know when they're little a lot of times we don't want our kids to to like notice struggles or notice like bad things but part of me hopes that one day when they're older they are able to look back at us and be like whoa like that is intense like when they're married and they have children and they look back at some of our Seasons I hope they can look back and be like Mom and Dad like I never knew because in our house like we just had worship music on and we just gave it into the hands of the Lord like they didn't know because we were we always have made it a point to say it's okay because we're going to take this to to God and God loves us and God has great plans for us and they go to they go to sleep every night hearing us you know praying over them and I think that they're there's something beautiful in that that that's our Legacy that will be passed on and I'm really proud of us for it I'm also hopeful that there are a lot of things that we will do and are doing that we can pass on to our boys um this generation that's coming up and again none of this is to make Generation Z is that it Jin Z I don't I've never known I've never known this none of this is to make I don't know what the Gin are anyone else feel bad I just think that there is a special sense of responsibility that we should have have to give the gift of childhood back to our children because we're the last ones to remember what that was yeah in the sense of living on a farm being outside every day growing up with Cousins being unplugged the Only Rule was you come in when the Sun goes down just not worrying about a schedule and camps and an overly packed like itinerary for the summer just being outside I looked at Shay the other day and I was like I feel guilty because at this point I feel like Asher names play together really well they fight a lot really well too but they play together really well and I'm like I feel kind of bad cuz I'm like I just tell them to go play and I feel like they see each other more than they see me and Shay even though we're here we're at the house and Shay just looked at me and he was like that's how it should be it's 100% how it should be and I think think about like you're it would have been weird when we were kids to see your parents more than you saw your siblings that would have been very weird and I was like oh man you're so right and then I like remember all of these reals of like you know child psychologist or whoever they are and they're like the thing that's missing now and I think Jordan Peterson even was like independent play yeah is just unsupervised independent play that's not to say that you don't check on your kids it's just let them be kids don't hover and worry and let them take healthy risk I know [ __ ] goof talks about that when raising boys and girls is let your kids take healthy risk because there's a generation coming up who have had he parents and they don't even want to learn how to drive yeah because they don't even want to ask kids to go to prom like the boys don't even want to ask the girls they want to ask their moms to like ask the someone like that just is crazy to me but it's because they are so averse to healthy risk because they've been so sheltered from it and I think a part of that too is like it's always been dangerous to do everything always yeah but I think the internet now has created this it's like this it's awareness that we almost shouldn't even have right where it's like a and for a lot of things like I don't want that to be taken out of context but like I think that you know when you're were a kid it's like you know you'd have a new fear unlocked because you'd see something of like even though the odds of that happening to you are very low they were not zero cuz you seen it happen you know but you also like kind of learned a lesson from that I'm going to be I'm going be careful when I do that whatever it was now it's just like on the internet you see these crazy things and you're like oh my gosh you can get locked into an algorithm and see aund new fears 100 new fears well sink holes exist oh my God like you're walking around terrified all time that was an actual fear of my grandmother I mean it's like you know you can you can have that but I think that when we were kids we just didn't have that and I think that that's why it's really important to just protect our kids from the internet and for a million reasons you know for boys you know trying to fight against like online porn or whatever it might be I think it's also just from trying to learn everything and being scared of everything when you're not prepared to know about everything right that's why it's just like it's not healthy to watch the news and to watch all these things and to see all these stories of things you can't change I mean right now it's just like the politics are so heavy with everything and it's like you know you and I stay very up to date on like things and we have like our opinions and values that we you know hold but it's like my goodness everything there's so many things in the world that two things can be true at the same time it's like yes I believe this but also like it doesn't have to be one or the other there's a million different you know things that are in avenues that I think are like ah this is right I feel like this is wrong this I don't really know about but it's just put into two categories of like the left and the right and it's like and when your kid can read it becomes like that becomes an actual issue Asher's gone through a phase where he like loves to find the newspapers at the end of our driveway and he like collects the newspapers and he like wants to save all the newspapers and I'm like I'm telling I'm like we can't he can't have like do you know the things that they put in newspapers insan crazy stuff he can read anything and so I'm like I know that he likes to collect the newspapers but like that's not something that he his little seven-year-old mind needs to be worrying about right now cuz I know that I'm bad about it like I see news and I'm like and it affects I got to I got to learn more about this and it's like what why why do I why is my am I just hungry for you know disaster am I do is my soul like long for that just I hope that's not as loud as it is in real life but does my soul like Am I Longing For That kind of Destruction in my life like does it make me feel better to know that other people are suffering and I you know what I'm saying ex 100% and I and let me just end with this I think it's really crucial that we're aware of that that when we like are self-aware enough to be like man I'm in a cycle of like I can't stop clicking on news articles I can't stop clicking on podcast like news updates because I just want to hear the next thing and the next thing and I'm spiraling and like my stress levels are getting higher I think it's super important to be aware of that and be like what can I do to change this because you do have to be intentional my default for the last three weeks because we've just had so much going on that I am trying to protect my heart I will go straight to worship music in my car no and I love podcasts I'm like I will listen to an audio book or a podcast anytime I get a second to myself in my car that's like my place or when I'm walking and I've just been going to worship music because I don't need anything else to inundate my heart and my soul except to have a place of gratefulness and gratitude and just like worship and thankfulness to God for our family and for what we have and you know for all that he has done for us that's the place I'm choosing to sit in in a season of stress because frankly we can't do anything right this minute about what's going on in our world yeah and I think that when you realize how much the world can change when some people can rally around hope I think that it's like you can't put enough value on that and when I think about just like there's hope you know there's there's joy in people's lives I feel like for me when I think about all the negativity that's in the world it just perpetuates itself and it's this cycle of like hatred and like all these things and I think it's so important that you know we live in that for our kids of just like of hopefulness of like you know what things are not that bad you know why because we get to create our own little world right here and it's up to us if we're going to change it you know it's like if you want to sit around and talk about all the things that are wrong in the world that's your prerogative you can do that but I promise you that that is going to that's going to breed more hate it's going to bring more sadness but if I sit there and I say you know what thank you God for this door thank you for this and I I start being grateful for little things in my life it not only becomes a good attitude but it literally creates an atmosphere of gratitude your pers your perspective will always be the thing you look at yeah like just think about that you I'm going to say that again it's good your perspective will always be the thing you look look at thank you for tuning in unexpected with Hannah love and by that I mean if you're looking at the word if you're listening to the Bible if you're listening to worship that's what your heart and your spirit and your soul is going to be filled up with if you're listening to truth that is what your perspective is going to be and when shaken that's what's going to come out of you and if the only thing that you're looking at is negative and pessimistic and critical the things that are going to come out of you are going to be negative and pessimistic and critical so think about what you're feeding your spirit with because that's what you are going to pour out and that is what you are going to exemplify to your children and that is what they will repeat back to the world because you teach what you know but you reproduce who you are it's my favorite quote and I say it all the time I'm so sorry but I have somewhere to be and I love you yes and maybe I'm actually going to stay here and finish the podcast she's going to leave he could he could I would let him at trust you um she's going to leave I might we might pick this up and do like uh a little little episode for the next week just cuz I love where we're going with this even though I don't know if y'all will love where we're going with this but yeah this is a new series that we're starting called morning Rambles um to where we don't have a direction or uh really or a point or a theme or really a lesson probably but it's just us talking because we don't really do this all the time I'm getting to really get into the weeds it's really mainly us just kind of like sometimes like falling asleep in the chair and like trying to hang on until bedtime and then the two hours that it takes to actually get our boys to bed um that's a whole season but you know what I I know that this to shall pass we're not going to be this tired all the time we could do an episode just purely on like relatable parenting I think we should do that I think we should do that because it would be really it's it's just going to be venting cuz sometimes you know even though you don't want to be negative it is good to talk about the funny things that you go through as parents because you know that you're just like laughing about laughing laugh where we are and laugh right now and like let's you got 5 Seconds till 50 minutes we got to stay keep it under 50 minutes we do yeah well I'm like late I have to be some 50 minutes it's done like 10 minutes ago I love you I love you proud you guys thanks for listening to us um we will catch you back next week on unexpected and then that's when you can thanks babe are you going to charge me for that or no I will yeah that's free put on your T thank you so much for listening today if this episode has encouraged you please feel free to share the show with your family and friends there's a lot of stuff going on in the world today and my hope is that this show is a candle in the dark