[Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] on a [Music] this is Big Time who is Randy don't bring anyone's mother into this your mama in the [ __ ] stand welcome welcome to your mom's house with tomuro Christina pit welcome to your mom's house [Music] oh boy oh boy how are you folks welcome to another very special episode of behind the jeans is I Josh Potter with you once again as I am every Wednesday live 300 p.m. Pacific 6:00 p.m. Eastern 5:00 p.m. central if you can't do the math and you live in that time zone make sure if you're watching this on replay that maybe you'll join up become a member and then you can join us for the live show and be here in the chat like so many others are oh my goodness we've got Forest Nutter we've got uh Alber Pier chubby blunts fing Bobby little boner all all the usuals and maybe some newbies out there just lurking about behind the scenes behind the chat sublimal is here oh my goodness welcome one welcome all to behind the jeans and if you want to stay in touch and perhaps you are not someone who is uh apt to join us live and you want to stay in the conversation well you can always email behindth jeanshow gmail.com and and uh join the conversation we've got some gu news uh coming up here in a little bit hell we've got lots of news coming up here in a little bit oh my goodness what a Monumental news week it's been for the your mom's house Universe uh by the way I'm going to be live in Southern California Brea California tomorrow night the 12th of September I will be there uh at Brea Improv so get your tickets the Josh potter.com it's also where you can go and sign up for my email list let me know where you want the roach to Scurry into next please and thank you again behind the genow gmail.com is where you can stay in touch with us other than that folks happy 911 boy oh boy I'll never forget that day I bought linkoln Park's Hybrid Theory it's one of those things that just will always stick out to me uh something that happened on that faithful day but uh when it comes to our your mom's house Twin Towers if you catch what I'm getting at uh we've had some new and I'll just let uh Miss Lauren Compton make the announcement here if you haven't already heard I'm glad to be on a second date and um you know although you've changed somehow since I was last year I've noticed something glowing something physically going on with you did do was Dr Drew tipped off here because he's like he's doing his best John Edwards here he's going like I'm sensing there's a an e in the room do we have an e in the room I can just uh in this area you know he's kind of pulling his John Edwards if you will if you recall that television show and uh here lo and behold Miss Lauren Compton about to make a big announcement I didn't think that there would be three of us at this table today but yes here Zolo zoo by the way I'm here cuz Zolo dragged my ass out here thank thank him for getting me here I know it was like a string of people that were all pushing to get you here but you were really pushing poor Zolo and he was like begging begging begging because there is a third person in this room I know and I can't think of any he was tipped off anyone else better to tell than you that I'm pregnant amazing congratulations thank you I'm it was I I was expecting rocket Applause I mean the booth boys were just I don't know if they were as stunned in the moment or if maybe they already gave their Applause off the air but boy oh boy what an announcement oh my Lord my head is spinning positively spinning can we get appuse or something the controll thank you no one's here today so here we are we're going to talk all about it right I can't wait can we get it uplo I mean I thought the same thing there Dr Drew unbelievable and maybe the booth boys were like what does this mean for the future of first state it had that swirling and it was almost like they were the father and they were like well what am I going to do about work all right before we talk about yourself let me talk about my stuff before I get that all out there the wellness company is a group that I work for that really is getting medication and stuff to patients I I've given up on trying to protect the patient doctor relationship I want get up to here we go yeah not that I don't want to hear Dr Drew's uh you know Ventures we tried to get him on this program full disclosure tried to get him on today to sort of recap this whole thing with us catch up with Dr Drew after we had many uh inquiries that we wanted to POs to Dr Drew some involving farts in a jar some involving the uh ills of perhaps not washing your towels I'm looking at you little boner I saw you in the chat talking about the lack of mold on your towels well guess what it's there I guarantee it I guarantee it nevertheless Dr Drew does his live stream at the exact same time that we do this one so I'm trying to figure out a little bit of a a work around for that we were thinking like do we do a very special episode live at a different time do we tape an interview with Dr Drew but then you know the chat wouldn't be able to get involved so I'd love to collaborate with you out there do let us know whether it be in the chat today or whether it's over at behindth jeanshow gmail.com could be a solution for this Dr Drew of course has many many many many many many many many streams and shows and things like that so uh you know it's a difficult thing to try and coordinate with him as he mentioned there with Zolo trying to get him out there for this very special episode so let's hear some of these pregnancy symptoms and it it I think it by the way speaking of pregnancy symptoms I did see one comment and I wish I could give credit to this hilarious comment but it was under the announcement on the your mom's house Studios Instagram page of course that collaborated with the clip announcing this whole thing and someone wrote oh my God they're going to get [Laughter] bigger or mechanically creat something in men where they they if they're not feeling it there's like something wrong where they want to protect they want to help they want to it just happens automatically and at even as even though it's organic in us we still [ __ ] up we still miss it we miss you're experiencing that no well we just we want to talk want to tell me story we we miss we we don't we don't think about it all the time the way you do that you're in this state you know and you're in it well he's done a really good job at um constantly asking me how I'm feeling yeah and he always tells me that I'm beautiful he tells me that like probably five times a day and he's like I love your belly well he probably means it cuz there is there one yet do we have a belly to I mean I mean is he just getting that one out of the way I mean is he getting ready for it I don't know that's pretty funny uh that he's it's like well get you like it now well wait just wait a couple of months there p uh you're going to really like it I'm curious what they saying in the chat I was going to look here somebody said here uh do a crossover episode well Corey Sanchez that is up to Dr Drew of course I would love to do a crossover episode but I think he talks a bit more about some serious topics on there and Dr Drew knows that when he gets the roach on it's scallywag time so I don't know that he wants to um what's the word if you will uh sort of denigrates what's happening on his live stream where he's giving perhaps medical advice to people or talking about something very serious in the political world or what have you but I will pose that I will pose that uh but he obviously wants to very much be a part of the show and come on it at some point but it's just the scheduling the man is a very busy one I'm not as exactly as busy anywh who folks we have another clip involving this I wanted to get to some advice from the Great doctor Dr Drew regarding pregnancy of course Dr Drew I don't know I mean men can be pregnant we know this but I don't know if Dr Drew's ever experienced it firsthand or not but we do know men can get pregnant if there's any men in the chat that have been pregnant please share your experiences some people is there anything else that you want to ask me before we um you know or advice that you want to tell me Manpower that's my advice Manpower and be uh Allie's here allly don't try to be perfect I never do thank God you you don't try to be perfect no I know I'm not okay cuz I you you seem like you were kind of going that dire a perfectionist yeah just be careful with that and then be really cognizant of mood disturbance in that first year huh hey don't be a moody lady all right you know your chemicals are going to be getting all out of whack that's how I talk as a doctor I'd have a cigarette you're going to get a little Moody you know cuz you got that girl gunk in you and it's going to make your brain all wonky and [ __ ] so try to keep an eye on that and uh you know don't be perfect that's a that's the my good doctor advice because a lot of people miss the symptoms of postpartum depression what are the symptoms they can be it's not you can obviously sadness and crying but sleep disturbances random thoughts of aggression and violence this is the voice of not a doctor explaining this this is a voice of a man who has had children and has is a husband even towards the child yeah um can be a sign of yeah postpartum and it's not abnormal yeah it it happens uh obviously there could be postpartum psychosis is obvious when that happens a postpartum depression trying to distinguish between baby blues which is pretty common yeah and actual postpartum depression I I'm I'm pretty Blues like the eyes or baby blues like I got the baby blues liberal with that threshold because um it's so disabling and you it's so subtle it comes on perniciously and it just captures you and you don't really realize what's happening it just feels like the stress of having a baby is what you're dealing with which is what you're dealing with yeah uh which is more than you imagine because here's the other thing the other thing this is the thing that well two things uh one is your husband's best move is just to follow your and listen to and follow your instincts God I'm going to make a great dad I'm such like a a s I'd be like whatever you say baby I'll do I'm already there and we don't even have a kid what's happening and I would curious to see if any of you are parents in the chat do you have any advice for Lauren maybe uh at the early stages maybe you have some advice for down the road if your kids are older and you've encountered a bit of a roadblock something like that I'd love to hear the mommies give some parenting advice that would be yes here's a good one don't drown the babies that is a good one and shout out to queers for getting stoned in Gaza met queers for getting stoned in Gaza out in uh Long Island New York at perhaps the weirdest show the roach has ever done but it was so much fun and I'm happy he was there he drove me all the way back to New Jersey thank you for the ride and thank you for being such a mench but yes don't drown the babies that's a good one don't be a [ __ ] says snarf that's another good piece of advice interesting indeed don't murder the baby yeah that's in so many words I guess that was the advice there Forest Nutter and you know what's funny I uh I watched this show God I can't remember the name of it now it was like servant or nanny or something like that and it was on Apple TV plus and it was like an M Night Shyamalan sort of thing and M shamalan known for his twists and turns and things like that the twist gets out of the way pretty early in this one and what happened you see no spoilers it's really this like a first half of the season so I'm not spoiling the show for you but they hire a nanny who comes in to take care of a baby and it's not a real baby it's a doll because you see the mother went through that psychosis that Dr Drew was talking about and was just like kind of like aloof and left her baby in the car and for days and they really show it I mean they show like the they you hear the cicas and the hot I mean it was a morbid morbid sort of episode of that show when you find out what happened to the baby and uh I thought I go that is insane what who could do that I mean how could you I I barely forget my phone in the you know what I mean I forgot my phone in the car last night and I thought about it I go would I leave a baby in the car oh my Lord it was something that I had to Google how often does this happen turns out it happens quite often it's crazy how often that it happens so that would be my advice you know if you get out of the car just check the back seat make sure the baby with you or not in the car keep the advice coming though in the chat poor foror let's see what else Dr Drew has to say whatever you say instinctively he needs to go I don't know how you know that but okay yeah because that happens happened to me a lot that was that was like mystical to your intuition your mom's intuition CU we don't get it like we're like when you go the child's hungry we're like how do you know that why I it's way he cried whatever I just know he's hungry yeah it's like I needs a diaper change we just needs a diaper change okay I would be nervous if I was a a woman or a mother I would start to be nervous I go what if I don't have that what if I go ah that means he needs a diaper change and you looking it's not and you're like huh whoopsy whoopsy Daisy three kids deep over here says Shan McCarthy that's interesting uh Jorge clavicles Mr clavicles he says ask for permission before changing their diaper yes their diaper meaning uh the pronouns they SL it's would be T hir I'm afraid uh Mr clavicles or is it the or is it or is it that's interesting because we're talking about the plural I don't know now now I'm getting into the grammar weeds when it comes to uh plural G ERS let's see what else we have down here in the chat a yes indeed a uh question for the no voters you risk the free P okay I see what you're saying you're giving you're talking about the poll there I thought that was about something else well let's hear what else Dr Drew has to say he says Don't Kill the baby that's the first one the second one husband trust the the mother of course or father trust the mother excuse me yeah the answer is okay on it so behind and go ahead with it and um oh damn what was the other thing I was going to say those same lines about the the rigors of Raving rais don't leave it in the caring a baby the intuition there's postpartum i l it'll come back to you the Aging brain now things come back to after three minutes watch and then do pay attention to your relationship yeah um you it's you kind of go in survival mode for about a year and everything is about the baby and if it you know needs to be all about the baby the guys will be okay you know what I'm saying we'll be fine but just remind him if he gets whiny about what the priority is right now getting the baby I like that that's good advice Dr Drew what he's saying for the Layman out there if perhaps you're you know you don't speak doctor talk you know sometimes these doctors come in and they float their fancy words out there what he's saying ladies is suck your husband's penis still you got to suck the father you know what I'm saying you got to pay attention to the relationship you got to suck the penis I mean I know you're breastfeeding oh boy the baby it's so overwhelming I'm hardly sleeping slip in a dick suck once in a while I think that's I mean if I can translate for the Layman believe that's what he's getting at here um that's so true he's given her two prescriptions of sucking beans though I think it's still very important cuz you go through some immense hormonal shifts after pregnancy and you might be just shut down for a while and that is got way of especially when you're breastfeeding of making sure you don't have one baby on top of the other yeah right and so you may and he's got to just go okay got it got it I'm here I'm supportive supportive supportive right love that advice Dr Drew and we have some here in the chat here Shan McCarthy says talk [ __ ] to your kids so they don't know what bullying is interesting so you get the bullying out of the way with the parents then they go to school and they go this is nothing this is nothing you should see my parents the way they talk to me interesting okay I don't I don't have any doctor here to say that's not good advice oh you have a a different sort of conclusion from the good doctor's words Forest Nutter he writes I think he's saying tell men tell the man that you love him and give him a free pass oh that's a good one too foris Nutter interesting I didn't translate it that way I wish we had a professional on to tell us one way or another but that could be it as well hey you know I'm a little busy with the baby go [ __ ] some [ __ ] bar trol up out there please have fun enjoy yourself enjoy yourself let's keep it going for a little while longer while the that oriented He he'll get that yeah he's very understanding I I couldn't be in a better relationship to have a kid I was married for a long long time long time I mean I was with him for seven years to me that's a really long time yeah and there was never even one day that I considered having a kid with him interesting and I've been with other guys and I never considered having a child with them but this one from that's what you call a tell yeah I was like man you are daddy Vibes that's what we call a green flag here on first date folks green flags up and down left and right we're so excited congratulations Lauren we can't wait to have a little ymh baby maybe Lauren would be open to allowing the chat to name the baby once uh he she they is born that would be fun we'll come up with some of those think about that for future weeks we've got some months to go we've got some months to go uh but speaking of mommy milkers oh boy Craig uh Greg Fitz Simmons who by the way has a new special out there on YouTube you should go check it out and he's going to be a forthcoming guest for my podcast the Josh Potter show he's coming up uh in October and we're filming out of The Comedy Store now it comes out every Wednesday at 6:00 a.m. on my YouTube channel if you would like to go check it out I'd love for you to go uh revisit visit it if you've left us many moons ago but come on back it's getting good baby oh boy I'm so excited about it but yes Greg Fitz Simmons he was on uh oh boy was it your mom's house I do believe he has a son was born and I've told the story before so stop me if you've heard it but when my son was born my mother-in-law came out and she said all right it's been 6 months you guys go off and get a hotel room just we lived in Venice we got one in Marina del re at the Ritz Carlton because we don't want to waste time driving we just want to sleep yeah and have some sex MH because I don't think we'd had it like in six months and so we go off and uh she was breastfeeding at the time and so we got to the hotel room and we had sex and then we took a walk on the beach had dinner got back to the room and we're like should we have sex again we're like I was like no yeah let's just do it in the morning yeah let's just get a long sleep we have like a brunch sex 2: a.m. I get woken up to her crying and I'm like Jesus CHR I go what do you what do you miss the kid what's going on she's like no my breasts are in gorged I didn't I I need to bre she goes I didn't bring a pump I forgot the pump I was like what do you mean you forgot the pump I go she goes no we got to go home I need to feed or pump I'm like we got this hotel room for nine more hours we're going to oh what a Savage I love it you're right queers for getting ston and guys like Greg is a Savage oh my God he's like call me pump baby and I'll get out I'll be an oil Derek we're going to eat we were going to have sex I go we can't she's like you don't understand I'm dying right now I have to be relieved I go pop him out pop them out so she pops out a breast and I put my mouth on it and I start just sucking you know like and she's like no [ __ ] and she's like adjusting my jaw and pushing up the bottom of it and instructing me and she's a lactation consultant which is the irony of all this oh my wow so she's a lactation consultant she knows exactly the way the jaw has to be positioned in order to provide a manual pump and I and I emphasis on the man part of manual in this regard oh my Lord I wonder what that is you have to have it's like playing clarinet you have to have a certain ambusher in order to uh extract the breast milk from a breast I thought you could just go in there willy-nilly start sucking like it'd suck anything else and lo and behold it's not the case I feel educated and it they should have lactation experts should have a course on this for people like Miss Lauren Compton who are going to be going uh to these types of people they should have an instructional course on how a gentleman could manually pump if need be like the olden days so she's showing me how to do it and then I and I couldn't get and then all of a sudden just this stream this hard hot stream of like sweet it was like a it was like a chai latte going in the back of my throat and so I I unlatched and I spit it out and then I start all over again to get the suction she like no you can't God you think it's like uh when you're trying to siphon gas out of a car you're like you know what I'm saying you're trying to get it pumped up or is it like when like uh your Vapes a little clogged and you got to get that you know it's like a milkshake you're trying to get the you got veins coming out of his [ __ ] ear uh forehead and [ __ ] crazy steams coming out of his ears spit it out so I start swallowing it and I and I suck and I swallow and I suck and I swallow and it and and it I'm starting to kind of get into it and I get to the second tit and I'm where's for getting Stone and Gaza I do believe it is a PornHub category I'm not uh speaking uh from experience it's not something I would search out but I come across some extraordinarily Niche categories in the hub and I do believe that brast feeding would be a part of that I just checked it is says [ __ ] Bobby there we go we have verification in the chat folks verification in the chat snarf says titty milk is sweet tasting well I have not yet been able to taste such a thing that would be a fun experience you know what I mean like an experience that you know I'm not against paying for but that is I mean it wouldn't even be like a sexual experience it'd be like a very rare custard uh you know Frozen Custard Stand or something like that where you get to go and make your own this one you get to go in we've got a row of engorged women you know uh if you'd like you can be right up next and take number three or if uh you're looking for a particular uh lady well then you might have to wait a little extra we have to pencil you in schedule it's like hair stylists you're like I don't know I mean Deborah really screwed my hair up last time I think I'll wait for Stacy when is she open next that kind of thing makes some ice cream says chubby blunts indeed indeed it might uh TI milk might make Josh come I don't know if that would be the case but I would oh I'm always open to figuring that out or trying [ __ ] Bobby what the heck these guys that inject milk into their boobs just so they can suck it out I knew I shouldn't have Googled this wait what there's guys oh my God what [ __ ] I got to put that one back up for a second he says there's guys that inject milk into their boobs just so they can suck it out I mean that has to be a pricey procedure I would imagine that's not just something that you can go down to the local uh you know 7-Eleven and scoop up bre milk injectors I mean that's not something they got at Right Aid I don't imagine you know where do you go to get that done and how much does that cost that's insane we didn't have to know that says Albert that's [ __ ] word wait I don't this one is the one I meant to click Albert we didn't have to know that sometimes my blind eyes blur your chats Juan Martinez welcome to the chat my friend I want to know more about the diar was it like baby Kaka what diarrhea diarrhea is he talking about mine did I have diarrhea I'm confused but please elaborate further later I did want to ring raise that because I was confused by it keep playing the video oh okay well let's see getting pretty into it and then I start and I got my arms around I start kind of rubbing against her and then slowly we we begin making love and by the end of it like we're both orgasming I got milk dripping down my chin I was like an animal I was like yeah and and then we fell asleep in a w what a primal orgasm I'll keep it going in several wet spots there was there was several wet spots in the bed and then came home the next day and she was uh that my son comes up and he's like pulling on her shirt to breastfeed I'm like little late [ __ ] and and then the joke was on me because like humans are not meant adults are not meant to swallow that and I had diarrhea for like three days after that sweet smelling diarrhea you drink a lot of milk Dr probably a few ounces wow damn well that's it right that's I mean I don't know if it counts as dairy necessarily but I think it is if anyone even drinks 3 ounces of a of just like some 2% they're going to have a little bit of diarrhea I'd imagine this is extra rich but I'm not a doctor and I'm sorry Juan Martinez I uh did not think about the I didn't think you were already talking about the forthcoming I thought you were talking about some you never know when diarrhea could be brought up on this program frankly and I thought you were talking about something maybe we discussed already I didn't know you were going into the future sorry for not understanding the context uh space head you [ __ ] I didn't do my homework can I can my brain be operating on a different area than you at the moment Jesus give me a [ __ ] break pal cut your boy some slack it's okay I'm not blaming you Juan Martinez I'm not blaming you one bit not one bit I'm a chef says Albert or says Corey Sanchez he says I'm a chef I got you eight ounces is a cup okay well thank you for the for the math I'm a chef that's how you did it I mean even if you were like I am an uh an astronaut I would have got I would have been okay with that oh yeah wow it tastes pretty good it taste you never tasted it I mean I a shocked a dab not like I'm shocked Tom's like I've tasted it accidentally like most men probably I was not drinking glasses of it 3 o that's nuts yeah just a little not I didn't have any like mouthfuls on yeah yeah that's incredible Greg was talking about getting waterboarded by breast milk for Christ's sake I mean and coming at the same time it's like instead of choke me he's like drown me drown me well it's funny when you're in college like you guzzle beer yeah and then you have a kid and like that's your that's the new party yeah it's crazy yeah that sounds like that was a a very um necessary trip for you guys too at that time yeah yeah we needed it did you ever do those of course yeah yeah just didn't go far just grab a hotel 100% And and the thing is you really do go we're going to have this whole thing and then you're like we just left 11 hours yeah and I think we should just go back yeah right right right I know like you you have your plans of like this is and then you're just like you're so sleep deprived yeah that you're just catching up on this big sleep deficit yeah because sex you realized like once you have your kids your body kind of goes like what do you your dick's like what do you bother me again for I did it yeah it's an interesting thing right there once you have kids your dick goes well we came what uh we did what uh we came here to do no pun intended but my I mean is that why when you become like middle-aged your dick just gets sleepy he's like we didn't make a kid dude this is over my time is up he's like a washed up actor he's like ah my window closed pal I don't know what to do ever experienced that with your penis folks I'm trying to get this I'm not opening too many tabs so we don't have any choppiness I'm sorry if there are is choppiness here somehow my father's internet which is not like I'm not doesn't pay as much as I pay for internet I'll tell you that right now I'll tell you that right now somehow his was crispy clean and mine I come back here again to the roach motel I'm in here in the old uh your mom's house satellite studio and still getting reports of choppiness unbelievable I think the Lord hates me uh well interestingly enough talking about children this was a coincidental sort of instance that occurred on two bears one cave and the two bears back together again here for this episode and uh Tom talks about a little bit of a dream his son had I found it very interesting here we go my six-year-old woke up the other day ear to ear he goes I had the best dream I had the best dream daddy to the B Sor fck want to come to the bot finding trying to make it big for you and I blew it dude my six-year-old woke up the other day ear to ear he goes I had the best dream I had the best dream daddy and I go what' you dream about he goes Zachary Lisa and Marlin and I go who's that he's like they're in my class I go oh what was what what happened in your dream he goes I cut off their heads with a chainsaw golly and I go what he goes yeah I had a chainsaw and I just cut their heads off I go I go he's too young to know you don't share those stories I know I'm like holy [ __ ] I go how did that make you feel and he goes happy he goes it made me feel happy I go to cut their heads off he goes yeah I love it I love chainsaws go okay you want pancakes what do you want to eat right now [ __ ] so he thinks about death too oh God he thinks about it the other way I think about it the one way so wait that's wild I mean I don't know if I heard uh one of my uh nieces or nephews say something to that degree I would be like I think you got to put him in a home or something I don't know it's that's one of those things you hear about on a DAT line you know what I mean where you go you know he was a quiet kid had very vivid dreams scary vivid dreams so there is poor Lauren Compton watching this being like what could come out of me that's concerting says queans for getting Stone and Gaza and if he thinks it's concerning oh boy oh boy oh boy I love Bert's laugh says Mary Lazard that's very nice some people don't Corey Sanchez for one Tom always brings out the baby seal yeah he gets the guy laughing [ __ ] Bobby that's for sure that is for sure indeed uh I thought weed was illegal in the mid East it could be I don't know what that has in a reference to but I think it is as well uh speaking of traveling maybe that's why you're just wanted to bring up traveling Shane Gilla is very funny obviously um exciting that he was on you be tripping I was selling car I got out of college I was selling cars I was I used to be a gay man I thought I was going to say I was selling Coke I used to read books constantly yeah and I got really really into Earnest Hemingway and I was like I should live in Spain really to go hilarious I was really gay and I started reading that's so funny uh space head says I thought we oh I already got that one sorry my bad forgot to take it down oh my God sorry I was coughing myself I was choking from uh my own laughter over here okay he Hemming's gay that's a good one for Nutter oh boy I get I get a little gay once in a while read some books been reading Bukowski and getting drunk and writing flowery text messages to women anywh who that's just me let's keep it going go in his footsteps kind of yeah I didn't know what the [ __ ] I was doing I was like 23 it's here's the problem it does rule but it is also gay it was gay yeah I wish I still had that part of me the Gay Part suck up the gay and go did just like I I used to think I was like smart yeah I wish I still had that what's your favorite having W it was it For Whom the belt TOS yeah was For Whom the love that song just short stories about him pretty much oh okay uh I just tried to read Farewell to Arms Again how was it trash really no it's good until they it becomes it's too much of a love story I like the beginning when he's in the military it's very fun what's the one where he's holding a baby up in a cave and somebody takes a random shot and kills the baby somebody is it crying but they thought it was an animal and somebody like camping was like shut that [ __ ] baby I don't he has he has a lot of like Michigan short stories yeah I don't have I don't know any of those yeah you're nicely shaded here in the [ __ ] yeah oh man you guys hate the shade um I love a well-lit podcast Studio it's very conducive to this is not well lit this is not cuz we turned the spotlight off that was this is not oh boy oh boy dimly lit I like a dim light this is too bright for me when you get to see all the roaches terrible and I have to have people be like oh look at his Co bottle glasses what is wrong with his eyes it's like oh my God every [ __ ] every week every week we got to do this every [ __ ] week oh boy oh boy oh boy space head says I'm more of a cormack McCarthy fan interesting interesting so writers don't read some don't some don't I don't believe I did not picture Shane reading some gay [ __ ] like how many interesting I don't his Hemingway I mean he was a big booze hound sure he wrote some flowery things but pretty big booze hound I thought they were going to get more into uh Hemingway stuff here but you know what I want to get to something else here because we're getting late in the program and this was brought to my attention it was about old G Brooks we all know him we all are suspicious of him but gu Brooks evidently he cougar says he played professional baseball I don't even know if I could pull this up but maybe cougar had to step away for a second but maybe he can pull it up when he comes back if I cannot let us see oh look I can do it perfect perfect where's the sound can we get a sound aha singer made him do it at first he batted like this it was normal and he won a World Series but was essentially a League average hitter but when he was 28 he got traded to the Dodgers and had the worst season of his career he was the fourth worst hitter in baseball in 1999 and followed it up the next season by starting spring training going 0 for 44 all of a sudden his career was in Jeopardy according to him he then smacked a ball into the outfield for his first hit put his head down ran to First felt a mass massive weight off his shoulders when he heard the crowd go crazy apparently gu Brooks a superstar country singer made a diving catch robbing him of a hit yes Dar Brooks was playing for the Mets he's played for three different MLB teams during spring trainings he is a massive baseball fan and in part to raise money for charity convince teams to let him play in actual games take actual at bats and be treated like a real player Brooks went one for 22 in his MLB career meaning at this time he was a more productive hitter than Craig counil the day after Brooks robbed Council of his first hit Council was cut from the team he knew his career was likely over desperate he started messing with his stance got picked up by Arizona and started batting like this the next season he started standing up even straighter and help the Dbacks win a World Series the next season his stance got even stranger then by 2004 when he went to the Brewers he went even further with his stance and had one of the strangest Of All Times Council resurrected his career batting like this and went on to play 16 Seasons all because of G Brooks well I don't I mean this is a wild Story I mean I cannot believe G Brooks just pays enough money to go be like I'm going to be on a Major League baseball roster and playing a game I gave you I mean how much money could he have given him is he paying like Bobby Bon a day for one I mean like this is crazy to me this is crazy I thought for one second there was a moment before I found out he resurrected his career Greg Council that I thought for a moment maybe we have to open these cases up you know maybe gu isn't murdering these people maybe gu isn't hiding the bodies maybe Greg council's trying to frame GTH Brooks but then you know there's the happy ending he makes his stupid strange batting stances and changes his life and he wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for G Brooks I Got Friends in Low Places I'm going to pay $3 million to the Padres and playing that bat that's crazy crazy unbelievable he's just out there playing in the Outfield that was nuts dude what if we find out G Brooks is also a deputy sheriff like Steven s i I don't doubt it at this point I mean the man can do just about anything it seems but that is the true sign of a psychopath at the end of the day oh cougar says Bobby Bonia day is also his birthday well we'll have to have our own Bobby Bonia day when that goes down he's got friends 6 feet under well that could be true maybe the friends he has in Low Places are the bodies under the ground you guys both hit that one at the same time [ __ ] Bobby and Albert hilarious that's a crazy thing right there G Brooks unbelievable I didn't know he I didn't know that was even possible and how many celebrities are doing that why haven't I heard more about that that there's celebrities out there that are just like taking it I mean why hey maybe maybe should we get we got to get Tom to pay for me to play in a Major League baseball game I mean how much money could it be and I think it would be worth the lol's have me take some app bats trying to my one eye trying to swing at a you know 87 mph curve ball oh that would be lol's up and down put me out in the Outfield try to catch a pop fly whizzing at my [ __ ] head that would be wild let's find out how much it costs get Tom Cur on it you know it's probably no more than I don't know I mean how much could it be at the end of the day uh let us keep things moving o I love this question and maybe out there one of you have uh Taken part in something like this I was always curious I have for the record by the way my sister Al uh I didn't even pose the question to you yet but have you hooked up with one of your siblings friends a sister's friends perhaps if you're a man maybe if you're a woman a brother's friend maybe if you're a lesbian woman a sister's friend maybe if you're a gay man a brother's friend let's not forget about their friends or whatever the hell you want to do if you're they and they their friends your your siblings are just gender fluid whatever whatever the case may be did you do it like I said I have my sister's certainly been with some of mine let's hear the story brought up with the great Greg Fitz Simmons on your mom's house yeah yeah not like in high school but in college how'd that go over with your sister they both I slept with uh best friends of both of my sisters oh and they had different reactions oh really yeah my older sister was like that's awesome what was she like and I was like huh and she was like was she good and I'm like this is so strange and then my younger sister was like stop [ __ ] my friends yeah wow yeah like my younger sister was like would you like it if I [ __ ] your friends and I was like I don't know um but yeah she was more upset and then my older mine was more oh my sister is [ __ ] my friends I guess I'll go get one of hers you know I don't know that was kind of my I was second in line sister was like that's cool are you going to see her again I was like what the [ __ ] yeah yeah it was very different reactions yeah I was like this is a cool thing that like my sisters are bringing Talent home yeah I had a younger sister but we had to get much older before I could have sex with her friends cuz she was uh she's 17 years younger than me Golly Golly uh real quick I wanted to just say I wonder I this is an episode that I very much watched and wanted Christina to be there a for the breast Mill conversation and B for this conversation when Tom's like oh yeah they're bringing Talon home I wanted to see her face kind of I think she would had something to add too but she was an only child so I don't know that she knows the uh quandries that come with that sort of predicament but Greg Fitz Simmons a real Gap in age let's find things out last year that's awesome oh God now it's been a long time man but you did wait you did hook up with a sister's friend oh yeah yeah how did she did she know did she learn of it never talked of it she slept with my friends and I slept with her friends and we never talked because we're Irish Irish people don't talk about sex right you know you're Mexican so like you just talk freely eat beans and and just just comes out dance and you dance after you talk about it right it's true yeah and there's a miachi playing it's it's perfect um what a culture I think it was when I got to the second round of their friends that my uh younger sister was like this is is disgusting you need to stop yeah it's a amazing I haven't had the the stop conversation I had to tell her to stop uh yeah tell her you got this mama no for sure I have to text I have to retext her you got this mama again to make sure that she realizes it wait what oh man oh you know I watched Greg Fitz himman special after the PO and he was he has quite the disdain for baseball well that's an interesting uh correlation to our our uh G Brooks news there for sure fun charity idea yes talking about me perhaps joining the baseball I can see G becoming Governor of Oklahoma in the future I could definitely see that happening I could see that for sure happening at the very least he's going to be such a booster for the uh Sooners football team that they'll name the stadium like G Brook stadium and then they start getting everybody to sing and The Thunder Rolls that would be a hell of an atmosphere at a college football game for sure uh no but yes with a girlfriend's sister that's even kind of Wilder Mr clavicles he wasn't tooking up with a sister's friend he hooked up with his girlfriend's sister that's something that's kind of like a little bit of a you know feather in your cap there at the end of the day oh you know the uh the you know the Martinez sisters yeah both that's what that I feel like that's like a guy that would go around wearing his letterman jacket still when he's 30 would brag about but hey I would be doing it as well uh yeah that's a fun story there let finish it off real quick before we get to my next thing because you see Rob iser was banned from hinge what for do you ask was it for having moldy towels well find out that's youel it's a little weird yeah but here's the key this is what I found in college is become friends with the cool girl and then you work you satellite off of her off of her so her you have a platonic relation yeah you have a Harry Met Sally kind of thing happening she respects you and then all the other girls see you as having the ability to form a friendship with a woman and then you exploit them yeah that's true yeah God Greg Fitz Simmons is a genius I mean that has been my strategy my entire life look at Christina she even is her mouth is a gape she can't believe what wise words just came from Greg Fitz Simmons's mouth see this is how this is why I don't understand why incels even exist it's not hard to get laid it's hard to get a woman to spend the rest of her life with you getting laid is easy I mean they wake up the next day they go peace out loser whatever and then that's the end of that that stuff's not hard I found it I was trying to chase that my whole life not build a relationship turns out there there's so much more uh ways pitfalls and things like that to try and do that part that's a really good if you're young and you're listening if you're in college this is exactly what you should do and also do well because they're all going to chat so oral be tireless yeah just do your this is great advice this is I mean this is Sage words coming from on high stretches yep first yeah yep put some ice on your tongue yeah before you get down there really yeah they are going to talk yeah yeah and it's like it was before there was chat rooms on the internet there was like you know dorm rooms where they went Tom will go down yeah that guy eats a lot of everything yeah yeah he gets full by the end of it yeah but that was like cocaine sex in college where you just like oral would just go on it was like crazy it was it like you know that's right another good reason to learn the oral skills is the cocaine sex I mean this man is he just he's a Fountain of Knowledge porn yeah so long and now when you're married it's like what no what do you want for how long I know it's like don't fart come on it's just gross yeah it's like unless we're both showering like that's not happening anymore eating ass eating ass or even just asking her for a [ __ ] it just seems like this is the woman that's like you know we're having dinner together and we're hanging out and all of a sudden I got to put my dick in her mouth like that that feels wrong I can't even ask I mean it happens once in a while but it's never it's never on request and that's true love folks if you're no longer and it and this is going full circle this is going back to what Dr Drew said to Miss Lauren Compton it's going full circle here yes blow your husbands but don't make the mask that's true love if they don't want to ask you to suck their penis any longer it's because they respect you too much and they'll never ask but do they want it yes does it create yearning in some capacity when you go a great deal of time not having that of course volunteer it once in a while a celebration we're not saying do it on taco night just some where down the road throw that one out there and we should do the same got to keep the communication open why am I not a sex doctor huh golly but Sage words wise words from Greg Fitz Simmons go watch the episode in its entirety and I'm sure you will find more and more and more oh my goodness okay so pardon me I'm just going through the chat to see what youall are talking about some speculation about why on Earth could Rob iser have been banned from hinge was it his moldy towels was it some other reason well let's find out here on behind the je here's something else that I think you always tell me you wish as a when I'm dating somebody that I was a more uh hopeless romantic right do I say that yeah cuz you're like you're too logical I wish you would just like give into love blah blah blah right you say that for some time yeah for for like the for like the newly wed pH yeah there's like rational thinking for later right I don't and I was watching 90-day fiance where I get my worldly news I learn a lot about the world watching 90day fiance oh we have an accusation in the chat RJ I Betty ghost women that's what you think the uh Banning was over I don't know can you get banned for ghosting women I think that's your prerogative as a human being to be like well I met this stranger on the internet didn't enjoy it I kind of want to not have this person be up my ass ever again uh in a figurative sense of course let alone aill literal sense therefore I'm going to just cut them out of my life I don't know if that's uh is is ghosting an illegal hinge tactic I'm not on hinge I don't do the apps because look at me and could you imagine just the me being not in context I'm not doing that to myself no thank you but Rob on the hinge got banned let's get into it and they this one's in China this couple and she says she says to the guy she the American guy she goes you know you think about love like my sister and people here in China think it's stupid basically I'm summing it up but like think it's stupid like you guys are like hopeless Romantics and here in China we find that stupid b what they think of like you logical proc procreate family no I just think logical like like he quit his job to move to China to be with her they have no money our sign filter because I don't want to date those people I don't want to date a woman who's put it in your profile who's going no no Leos like you just did cuz that to me is worse than any it's insane word if someone's like no I won't date a guy cuz he was born in October she's she's nuts I don't want her popping up on my feet agree agree I can't believe we didn't bring this up Jame here we go the story oh boy oh boy oh boy I do agree with him by the way about the the Leo thing or whatever the hell it is oh boy I can't date a Sagittarius or whatever the hell it's like that person is a dodo that's all it is it's not that they're insane or anything else they're just a simple-minded Lon this is such a big deal what I can't believe we didn't bring this up what so I've I've been on a should I just say the dating app I guess I'll just say it I've been on a dating app called hinge for would you like the best out of all them I think it's the best because I think it's people who it's called the dating app to designed to be deleted right so it's like we want to actually get you in relation like we're Tinder is just a [ __ ] oh and they do this by the way cuz I was on it for 2 weeks they do this by the way by giving you prompts where you're filling out these surveys about yourself that are so inan and people are such try hards with these things and you I get the I just get cringe Vibes reading some like little piffy thing that's in there I can't even possibly imagine what I would write for myself that I could present to somebody and be like yes this is and I write for a living but the whole point of my comedy and my art is that I [ __ ] on myself I can't possibly write some prompt that would make some smoke show go who's this yeah sure he doesn't look like much but boy oh boy look at these prompts get [ __ ] I'm never doing that and I deleted that thing right away and I'd rather just masturbate for the rest of my lonely life than ever subject myself to prompts and having to do boosts so that some maybe attractive woman or even one worthwhile isn't just saying nonsense in word form in these little survey questions it's just such a cesspool a money grubbing Cesspool and Rob should be thankful that he got kicked off of it frankly here we go and a lot of these other uh dating apps are just a [ __ ] wow so yeah yeah so I'm on hinch yes I have been on hinch for years and I've never received an email from hinge never received an email from hinge as you know I went to uh I had a house with my family for a week in Jersey yeah we're on the beach Robbie's having a great time all of a sudden I get an email from hinge because I wasn't checking my text messages for like five days I don't know I got an email from hinge and it says you've been banned from hinge gasp I get banned from a dating app and I go I go how is this possible I haven't met anyone off of hinge in months and even if I do I don't even like what did I do yeah I'm not some guy who's like maybe I sent a drunk text I drink I don't know I'm like how could you possibly ban me I could have done that part whoops from hinge so now it also doesn't tell you what you did wrong which is insane it should the first it's like when I got banned from Facebook yes the first thing should tell you what you did wrong hey here's why you're banned it doesn't it just says you're banned and it says if you want to um what is cont protest or dispute dispute but there's I think there's even like a better like a lawyer what's the lawyer term if you want appeal that's what that's what they use sorry yours was great too Zolo but it was appeal this episode is sponsored by DraftKings I have not logged into my premium account even if I never go back on the [ __ ] app go use the promo codes go use them but I'm sorry I didn't mean to sub the non-pes to commercials I just didn't log into my YouTube here I got to know what's going on so I asked what's going on they go you've been impersonating a celebrity oh my God hinge I'm barely a celebrity but it's me hilarious that hinge can't fathom that an actual human being who's a I mean I guess there is that like Rya app which I've been rejected from three times I wanted to get on there because it's like holy hell look at who the hell this you know what I mean you have to and I guess you have to have a certain amount of social media followers or just be a certain level of smoke show to be on it because certainly I meet um neither of the requirements but I know some people who have like 8,000 followers but they're on there because they are something do you know what I'm saying so I applied for hinge I got three you have to get recommended by somebody already on there one was a a gentleman who used to be a Vine comedian by the name of Ry Dune yeah I didn't think that one was going to get me very far but then Nikki Glazer uh recommended me and then a lady in the adult industry recommended me still nothing on the Rya not that I would have gone on there and made any hay you understand I would have gone on there they would have been like who the hell let this guy on there he's not rich nor goodlooking oh because he's a in Show Business on the fringes of it that's how he got it so I understand at the end of the day but boy oh boy hinge is nonsense and it's crazy again like people would probably try to catfish being a celebrity but if you're going through the uh rigma rooll if you will of trying to create a catfish account on a dating app I think you would just use anonymous hot people pictures at this point no one's going like I'm going to pretend I'm a celebrity think that it's not going to raise Flags that's awfully silly um but here's what's crazy how do you prove it for two years never a peep you go to Jersey guess what and you got hit up so much we're like the Beatles in Jersey still everywhere else people don't give a [ __ ] about us we go to Jersey and they're like there's no way the guy who played the son on Sopranos is in Jersey this must be an impersonator so somebody reported you oh no it can't just be one report you have to get multiple reports wild and meanwhile the irony of it is like he said he's like a he's like a god in in Jersey he's probably like my hinge was probably blowing up and they're like there's no way there's this much action on here and they were like this is a a false thing you know and that's what raised its ire I mean down in like a different part of the world is Rob not matching enough for them to go is this guy pretending to be Rob is then he goes to Jersey and it's like women are proverbially throwing their panties at him via hinge golly that's just a a cruel cruel instance Rob I'm so sorry that that happened to you oh boy oh boy I had a a thing to end on oh yes here it is a great thing uh to end on here one of my favorite compilations that's been created it's very new we'll end with some burps shall we see what's going going on in the chat speaking of burps oh my Lord we have super chats happening holy hell don't trip says in the Super Chat for Potter to get the ad free videos I have I have them I have them I just have not uh logged in and I apologize I'm not logged in right now oh snarf for the month after thank you I do appreciate the super chats and they will go towards my YouTube uh premium [Laughter] account oh boy oh boy thank you everyone for being here space said RJ little boner uh oh Lauren had the same issue on Rya I believe kept getting banned for impersonating Laura Lauren Compton on Ria of all places boy oh boy I mean what a world that is I would love very much to experience that I wish I could put my brain into another vehicle if you catch my drift and then I would get to know what it's like to be on hot people internet oh my God what a world that would be but yeah I want to end with a compilation of burps I appreciate you all being here do hope you join us once again next Wednesday 300 p.m. Pacific 6:00 p.m. Eastern uh right here on the your mom's house YouTube channel and if you're watching this for free come on join us be a part of the fun Alberts here Corey Sanchez I mean so many come on over be a part of it and let us leave with some burps oh boy I almost blew it here we go good for you kid where your life I heard it don't worry sometimes when you burp and I don't react right away you kind of look at me yeah like the way Thief does like are you gonna are you going to acknowledge what I did yeah I do mommy cuz I want you to acknowledge [Music] me oh my God anyways God that felt good you guys are [ __ ] [Laughter] sick you look just like him all right you're under the weather today you're sick otherwise yeah I'd make you come they sold millions and millions of Records yeah not that expensive yeah what you're back back nice belch to get us back you got it uh I'm good on this guy I tried not giving a [ __ ] with your family yesterday and I was penalized and peer pressured nobody is deciding to do that it's just how it is no we're [ __ ] all night she would do that yeah see it happens so many sounds but the horking is sexy chicks get wet it's just how it goes I've never felt that way before look there's other stuff we didn't get to but I think we got to wrap up this show man yeah there's uh too much okay don't bring anyone's mother into this welcome welcome to your mom's house with Tom Christina pit welcome to your mom's house p [Music]