Borderlands Movie the Total Train wreck: What Went Wrong?

so ladies and gentlemen Borderlands the game that gives us endless gun violence quirky humor and a world so chaotic it makes Mad Max look like a family picnic today we're not talking about the game no no no no no we are diving head first into absolute train wreck that is the Borderlands movie buckle up because it's going to be a bumpy ride uhoh God I hate this planet so let's start with the number shall we the Borderlands movie which reportedly had a bigger budget than a vault Hunters loot stash managed to scrape together a whopping wait for it a measly 8.8 million on its opening weekend we're broke I've seen indie films with no budget and a GoPro do better than that and why you asked did this cinematic Masterpiece flop harder than clap trap on stairs what you look at that a ladder unfortunately my design doesn't facilitate this type of you'd think with a franchise as popular as Borderlands that the marketed team would go all out right party over here party over here Billboards commercials clap trap doing a worm on late night TV but instead we got nothing it's like they spent the entire marketing Budget on one sad little tweet um why I mean I didn't even know it was out till the day it came out it's ridiculous honestly it felt like they were trying to keep it a secret it's a secret shut up maybe they thought the less we knew the better spoiler alert it wasn't and then there's the acting oh God the acting if that's what you can call it oh my days we've got some big names on the roster but instead of bringing the air game they well let's say they brought C minus game it's not saying it's the worst acting I've ever seen but I've seen better performances in a high school play about vegetables ability to act is extraordinary I mean what happened did they forget that this was a Borderland movie and not just another another paycheck it's like they left it all in Pandora and couldn't be bothered to bring it to set have I Hur you don't be silly acting brilli thank thank now and let's not forget the real crime here clat trap hello traveler The Lovable annoying one world robot we all adore he is not voiced by the original actor I mean come on that's like making Star Wars movie without lightsabers it's just wrong I mean Rogue one did it really well but this this is the worst instead they went with Jack Black I mean he's a great actor but for this role I just feel he's not the right person definitely not the right person for the job in this one I threw up in my lap honestly whoever made these decisions needs to be sent to Pandora without a fast travel station I mean God Almighty oh God and let's not forget the budget oh yes they have plenty of cash to throw around we're talking over 10 10 million but where did it go certainly not on the script or the CGI all you know the qu maybe they spent it all on catering or perhaps they hired a bunch of Vault Hunters to find the rest of the movie cuz it's sure as hell isn't on screen where where where Dwight seems like you already know where and just when you think it couldn't get any worse they decided to release it the same window as the Deadpool and Wolverine movie good one yeah that was a good one it's like deciding to host your kids birthday party at the same time as the World Cup final who thought this was a good idea it's almost like they were setting it up to fail I mean what's next releasing the sequel directly Against The Avengers movie actually on second thought let's hope there's no sequel let let's say a little prayer for peace in conclusion the Borderlands movie is a complete and utter disaster a flaming pil Scag dong that makes you wonder if they even tried weak marketing and poor performances and the unforgivable sin of not casting the original collap trap is a master class in how not to make a video game movie congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations ation congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations congratulations but hey at least we still have the games right and as long as we avoid the theaters we can pretend that this never happened thanks for tuning in and if you somehow enjoyed this rant don't forget to like subscribe and maybe share your own Borderlands movie horror stories in the comments till next time [Music]

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