Ep. 21- Father Of The Bride Pt. 3: Talking (& CRYING) Through The Wedding With The Women In My Life

hey friends I want to tell you about the just different podcast with Jordan and Darren Starks um these are conversations coming from Two Brothers Darren and Jordan that have the perfect combination of personal experience real life issues truth and comedy let me tell you these brothers are hilarious okay uh they're passionate about helping their generation get closer to God and assisting them in their own Journey of Faith what I love about these guys is they are the real deal super authentic and if you love The Carlos wher podcast just imagine me a little younger with a little less white hair on my face uh and a little funnier and you're going to have them if it was like two of me me and my brother that's what it would be you guys would love and will love this podcast episodes come out every Wednesday and Friday and you guys can just follow the link in the show notes to listen to the just different podcast hey hey welcome to Idaho where the Father of the Bride is about to do Father of the Bride episode three one question y'all ready for this come on come on okay friends and Familia welcome to uh Carlos W podcast episode 21 series number episode three of the Father of the Bride series um I am in Victor and just got done emoting with my daughter SOA my daughter seana and my wife Heather and her best friend just here on the sofa um outside in in our Airbnb and today's episode um we we are just days away four days away from the wedding we're all here uh in Jackson Hall Wyoming will not we over the past but uh and we're we're just we decided to feel all the things with you um and to have the conversation as to what it feels like as the Father of the Bride the mother of the bride the bride herself the Sister Sister of the bride and the best friend of the mother of the bride um and so that's what today's episode is it's it's it's just Raw it's authentic and there's actually nuggets that come out of this that I think are applicable to every season in life but to hear them come for my daughters because they're they're the wise ones in this not me or Heather we're asking them the questions um and sa welcome to the podcast she told me that this is the first time she's ever been on the podcast I don't believe that um but maybe she's right so she also doesn't have a voice so forgive her if she sounds like she's been smoking for 60 years um so without further Ado let's hop into uh what I believe is going to be one of the most memorable memorable conversations I've had with my daughter SOA uh and my the other girls in my life so here you guys go no way okay it's popup podcast K we're gonna pass the mic around how's everybody doing this morning reading my Bible and and tell me sis you are uh 5 days away from getting married 5 days away from getting married new 5 days away what what what are you feeling today today specifically I'm excited today okay we're going to need to pass the mic go ahead okay just hold it you can hold it I'm going hold hello I'm excited today you especially I feel like yesterday was a really good day too the days before were kind of like I was still processing that I was here and processing that it was still happening but I feel like the festivities actually are starting today so what's what's that what's the festivities all of my very best friends are getting here and that's just going to be so surreal the fact that literally my bridesmaids in Brady groomsman are all going to be they're all coming here today hi yeah you're you're po you're a popup podcast guest I I do pop podcast now we were two seconds ago before he shoved a mic and then he ran up dang it I wanted to Dr yeah okay so so all your best friends are coming all my best friends are coming today some arrived yesterday but all of them are getting here today and I'm really excited about it it's a special day Heather Pastor Mike mother of the bride how are you feeling um I feel great I have a few things that I have I have a lot of things that I have to get done today but um I'm excited that my best friend got here last night and other best friends are coming in today and you other best friends besides just sending I have lots of best friends and then um yeah I'm it's just I'm ready sorry we've been here for a week we have been here for a week I could have I could be here for forever yeah K with all of the planning that you've done I mean you've legitimately planned for months and months do you feel like all of that planning was successful yeah I feel what is happening you're crying but hold on hold on pass pass the mic this out before the well oh this is goingon to go out to today so she get okay don't talk about it so ha's crying about something so H's crying about something that's very nice that somebody did um no I feel like I worked very hard and I I think when I left Nashville I let go of the things like the projects that like I wanted to do that didn't get done and then once I got here there it was even more of that like I had a couple projects I was like oh we can get some of that wood and paint it and put that up you know but then I'm like no it's not even happening like I don't care so so that's helpful cuz all that's done and then just it was a smart decision to get here because like at home I'm doing a wedding and I'm cleaning my house and I'm tending to all the things and I'm doing you know so like here I mean I'm cleaning the house with you but oh right right you're definitely helping cleaning the house definitely not a solo Endeavor uhhuh um and so it was just nice to get here and not have to do that and have actually a couple days of not stressing but now it's kind of go time again right so so we we spent a couple days like we were fishing and went to the see the Bears and you know all the things and now it's game time again it's game time but all my friends are here and all my friends are such helpers so like yeah you do have a lot of helper friends so like it is game time but I also am not doing it alone where I've done it alone this the whole pre yeah that's great my time okay making my podcast debut so there's so much more you came in last so everybody knows this is not a 57y old man that is talking right now this is my 20-year-old daughter um you don't have to hold her that close to your mother okay so you said you cried all the way in yesterday yeah why because I was like it's oh my voice you're fine because I was like it's actually happening oh so it wasn't I saw the mountains and I was like but what are the tears um my sister getting married so is that sad or happy yeah sad I was pretty sad having a hard time finding joy in it everyone's going to want you on the podcast more if you keep going like this um no I'm kidding I am very happy what's going to be different it's the end of our childhood oh jeez give me the mic no just kiding it is true though our childhood ends on Sunday then it's just me and lasah then you you get to still be children yeah L and I can so's not anymore what are things that SOA is not going to be able to do as a child anymore that you can do like like you're going to be able to be a child she can't be a child like well I'm still financially dependent on you guys she won't be able to be anymore that's true and then Brady will just be there everywhere everywhere it's not just going to be so so no how you feeling about Brady I'm very excited I told SOA that I wrote my ma of honor speech and I've been practicing it and the only part I cry at is when I talk about Brady oh really yeah why I don't know you'll just have to wait we'll put a little snip no it comes out tonight yeah just have to wait to see my speech later oh you don't think he's going to listen to the podcast I'm not going to read my speech yeah she's not gonna no she's just saying she she'll put a little snippet of the of the speech in this podcast way comes out yeah let's not do that let's not do that um oh now you're talking to Brad and telling the editor what to cut this is great I've met him before Oh you have oh that's right yeah you on tour typical children's vitamins are just candy in disguise right they're filled with two teaspoons of sugar unhealthy chemicals and other gummy junk that our kids just do not need inside of their body that is why Haya was created haa fills the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste I love the word yummy it is exactly what the kids want they want yummy tastes that they love okay formulator with the help of nutritional experts haa is pressed with the blend of get this 12 organic fruits and veggies and then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals I love receiving ha in our mailbox every single month and that's the cool thing for you is you can receive it in your mailbox every single month you don't have to remember to go to the store to get it and we've worked out a special deal with haa for their bestselling children's vitamins receive 50% off your first order to claim this deal you got to go to haah health.com sluman hope this deal is not available on the regular website go to hi y a.com human hope and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults yeah know I'm how do I feel yeah d how are you feeling um I go I go through phases where I um um here babe well you're you asked me the question so you may have another question oh look at that I go through phases like like again like I'm not like super emotional and then all of a sudden I'm really emotional yeah it's it's like I'm like just totally fine and then all of a sudden I'm not and so what is it that you usually are thinking about when you're not like you know if SOA just looks at me like that then I'll just start crying like I don't want her to look at me like that you know yeah literally don't make eye contact with me and I'm fine but but like like like I think I think it's it's the you know um oh man now I'm getting emotional again but but it's like I was riding in the Suburban with Jack in in White Fish Montana um and I was just um typing out the post to so let just you know and just all the things that have been healed in her that that have brought her to this this point and also as a dad like being part of that healing and knowing that you know it's not that I can't be part of her healing anymore but Brady is going to be the man that needs to be looked at and looked towards for for for that you know and and like no we're all crying here nobody has microphones but we're all crying and so and so like I I just was when I was writing like you know her mind was healed of all that stuff her lungs were healed and I had a front row seat like front row like in the bedroom on her bed holding her as she cried um and all of that is is passed to Brady and so like I just feel like I'm losing you know that so um this is terrible is the wor best before all this starts and then Dam like no but but I think the again the the beauty is and oh and then I also cried yes yesterday so that was two days ago and then I cried yesterday cuz Phil called me and just out the blue and he's just like Carlos how are you doing you know and um I'm just I just start crying like right away and he goes he goes just remember you're not losing her you're losing her you're gaining a son [Music] um this is the worst podcast ever sorry no but I'm just letting people like like you asked me we were all we were all just being generic and like giving surface level answers but no that as a as her dad you know knowing but also knowing that there are just things that like the other day when when br's like you need to call your dad um there there's things that I'm still going to be necessary for her heart well and she's also um I would say of all our children um more needy yeah and not a bad way but like in in in an emotional in a physical she's just very she's just she's not as independent as the one on the couch over there not that she's not needy but she is in a different way um and so I do see her coming in like different parts coming and you know but oh I I think I bald too like that that is definitely the and it's not even like that we don't want to lose her like that this is this is what we have done our whole life to try to do it feels right it is right and and as a parent that is your goal right your goal is for them and it may not be marriage but it to have them be independent and and be on their own like that is the goal but it is also just a a change of season and so that's where the the tears and the the loss does come from like she is and I think with her different than saana like she literally has lived with us since day one saana had to go be independent but guess who's coming home [Laughter] um actually yeah it really is gonna be so Queen um yeah jinda is sitting next to me and um just for those of you not watching on YouTube and um you're watching Heather do this while you have I mean you got a 20-year-old and a you know and so just watching your best friend do this how's it feel well I haven't talked to my best friend all year we joke because we I mean we'll be best friends whether we talk or not and we have five minute talk about this for 90 seconds conversations but um and but that's what's fun about our friendship because we always know when the seasons are there that we just pick up where we left off what's the question question is like watching Heather I'm a step before you yeah you've been a step before me always cuz so Halo is our first baby so um well I just think you guys are doing a great job first of all I just really it's been fun to watch you guys um it's been helpful have you guys done everything perfect along the way would I do everything the same no but but it's just sweet like it's been fun as your best friend to see you walk through the growing pains because as there's growth there there is pain there are things that are just really hard as parents and we really none of us really know what we're doing um I mean I just think the other day I was like God I don't I actually I actually just was crying I'm like I actually don't know what I'm doing I don't know how to do this God this isn't I have no clue he's like good I know let me let me let me this is actually where I want you because I don't want you to do it in your own ability and your own knowing how to do it I actually am wanting I'm inviting you to to come into the unknowing with me because I know all of it um and you guys have been such a great picture of that um and you do live a life of Faith you walk in faith you walk with Jesus and so that's the that is I guess captivating and um I don't know it just gets me excited for the seasons that I will come into because I just yeah I see God catch you I see God lead you and being what you said about you thinking the other day and you're crying you're like I don't know what I'm doing I I think for a lot of you know people that listen to me talk or my podcast or things then look at our family they think you know they're like when are you guys going to do a parenting course when are you guys going to do a you know and I'm like we're not going to do one of those because we don't know what we're doing and and I think that that everyone needs to realize that the Lord will give you the capacity and the Lord will give you the answers and the Lord like if you draw near to him he knows what he's doing yeah so if as long as he knows what he's doing I me I just think of all the seasons we've been through with SOA and every single one we didn't know what we're doing yeah every single time we're like What do we do it's new what do we do what do we do and for you that's watching or listening like there's there's no answers I mean sure you can watch other people and you can see how they but trust me when your child hits something there is not another family on planet Earth that's going to have to pull it off the way that you're going to have to pull it off um and so I just love that you said that that you're crying saying I don't know what I'm doing because it just kind of never ends like this week I'm like I don't I don't know how to get my daughter away what am I going to say to her in in when we're by ourselves before I walk down the aisle like like like like what what what what's I like everyone's like that that was the most special 10 minutes I had my dad that day it was just me and him no one else everyone's gone and I'm just like oh my so I feel all this pressure and I feel all this um I don't know what I'm doing you know like and and but the Lord knows what he's doing you know period oh man I feel like we need a little humor back in in involved in the in the thing the Lord knows what he's doing the Lord knows what he's doing Santa what what you you not I don't have you ever been on the podcast before no what what what the only kid who's never been on the podcast not POS well no no let me tell you why because if you ask sayana can you do something she's like well from 800 to 9:30 I've got this and then from 9:30 to 9:27 in the next morning I've got this and I've got two minutes so it's hard what's the Lord teaching you through all this um to be very still in that even though this week is super fast like on the airplane I was thinking I was like oh my gosh like there's so much fun things this week's going to go by in the blink of an eye but I felt like he just reminded me that like no he actually wants it to go by so slow yes like take every single moment and good on in Wonder of his goodness oh okay you going to you going to preach a little bit right now period period so back to you for the last word hey what's the Lord teaching you right now everything um I mean as you watch everybody cry about you it's all I do is cry I feel like I can't even think about God without crying oh it's okay baby I know cuz I just hugged for those of you listening on the podcast cuz I can't cuz he still lives with me so you can't even think about God without crying no she's the best you like I thought it was funny how Justa was talking about like not knowing what they're doing with parenting but I mean it's the same with marriage right like I don't know how to be married yet um the only thing that I can constantly rely on or look at is the word of God cuz it's like you can read and listen to podcast or read books about marriage but nothing really sticks to your heart the way the word does and so I just feel like in the last really 2 weeks I've been really desperate for this the word CU there's no other like I can just depend like there's so much unknown and so much like you know we we don't know how to do it and we we were laughing about at me and Brady yesterday cuz we were like you know in like four days we're going to be like husband and wife what the heck's that GNA look like like cuz I enjoyed this like we're just being together and like communing with each other but then I like think about everything God has put in front of us and put in and he knows all the things that we don't know so it's like we can't he's just depending like I'm just depending on him um in a whole new facet this season cuz it's like it's not about me anym anymore it's it's we're we're one now it's not going to be like just SOA and just Brady but like that another like the the next level is going to be really special and I'm just he's just raising my expectations when it comes to hiring let me tell you don't go just looking on all those job websites you need to use indeed don't just search you want to get matched and indeed does that for you if you need to hire you need indeed indeed is your matching and hiring platform with over 350 million Global monthly visitors that's incredible so you can ditch all the busy work stop stressing out yourself stop trying to figure out all these websites just go to indeed and they will do it for you here's the thing they don't just help you hire faster okay 93 of employers agree indeed delivered the highest quality matches over all other job websites one of the things I love about indeed is their user interface is so easy so you don't have to be a rocket scientist to just figure out how to hire somebody to be a rocket scientist for you and listeners of the show will get a this is really cool $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at indeed.com sluman Hope just go to indeed.com human hope right now and support our show by saying you heard about indeed on my podcast indeed.com sluman hope terms and conditions apply you need to hire you need indeed um talk to me I think you and Brady have been in the last couple years um brought up in an environment um where words matter mhm where um um your outlook and and the things that maybe are projected on marriage um sometimes can be um negative or oh that first year is this or oh we're this so um just talk about in general like obviously talk about your your wedding and your marriage and the first years and stuff but talk about also just how you guys are approaching this and how that can be applied to anybody does that make sense mhm yeah and in any season yeah just like I do I do um yeah I think like you were saying in any season people are going to project their own opinion Their Own Story onto your story and I've gone through a lot to know that people have their own stories and their own um you know opinion on how to do things and how to you know all those things and I just learned in the end it's not about other people and it's about well like what can me and Brady do to honor God and to honor each other that's the ultimate like that's my focus and that's my focus in in this next season cuz it's like yeah of course marriage is going to be hard like yeah duh but it doesn't to be the first year doesn't have to be yeah the first year is the hardest so I know I'm like well it doesn't have to be like God has our own story in mind and it's not going to be like the first Year's the best and then that means there's never going to be a better year like and that doesn't mean the first year is the worse it doesn't mean there's going to be a worse year like it's just life it's just knowing how to be dependent on the one that knows when it's hard the one that knows it's fun and he can Rejoice with us like it's not about it's not about bad or good it's about our walk in our story together that's great and I think um you know I think sometimes we come out of um our the filter that we come through is like oh this was so hard yes of course it's going to be hard because like jenda said earlier anything like if we're building new muscle that's what you're doing right you're building a new muscle something you've never done before so there are going to be some aches and pains as you grow but you're growing you're growing and you're getting stronger and it's actually for the better when you do it with God right there with you and guiding you versus trying to do it your own way and like yeah and I just think you guys have worked really hard at your own personal that's okay because like I think something that now I'm one of my favorite things about Brady is that he actually does like to work hard and he's a good worker and that I mean I am too especially when there's something in the way like we're both really want endurance and we really want and you're not talking about like physical work work um just because we've seen fruit from it not that he's not hard worker hard but yeah know like he loves to grind coffee yeah he loves to grind coffee no but he um yeah we we know what it is to see fruit on the other side of hard work spiritually and hard work mentally and um physically at times too but I just think like it's so cool cuz now just seeing God's timing and just seeing the way he's actually worked everything together goes back to like the good and the bad like it's just all like we've we've done a lot of work the last 2 years on ourselves so now like I've never felt actually more confident not knowing I've never felt more confident not fully being you know like if I was in this place a year ago like even the idea of going into marriage and not knowing would freak me out but now like obviously marriage is so unknown but I feel so confident still because I know we've done and what we've worked through and what we've depended on and so like I just think like being with someone that you can grow and change and adapt with in being in those steps and Seasons with them like now I've I'm like yeah we we've got this like I've see the way we work like when it's hard and when it's good so it's like we're going to change we're going to grow we're going to do um we're going to be completely different people right in 20 years but knowing like already in six years where we've gone like I'm really really excited to see now like it's not just like H like I hate who we've become I'm like so pumped about who we've become so it's like just think about 20 years who are we going to be so I'm really yeah that's a great Point say period period period I love you I love you Daddy next time the Carlos podcast comes out you'll be a married woman that's crazy you won't be a virgin anymore and we're out well told you that was a lot um thanks for letting me invite you in this is the last father of the B episode because um she'll be married next Thursday and we've got other things to talk about besides uh my emotions with my daughter getting married hopefully you guys enjoyed this conversation and uh we will see you next time on another episode of the Carlos Whitaker podcast