William “Bill” Cohen, CSA USA - 1ST ANNUAL GLOBAL MALE CAREGIVERS SUMMIT 2024

the global caregivers Network presents the first annual Global male caregivers Summit coming your way April 13th 2024 beginning at 900 a.m. to 100 p.m. Eastern Standard Time register on event brigh to hear from the most amazing and powerfully inspiring men as they share caregiving from the male perspective grab your ticket today and we'll see you [Music] there well thank you very much for having me Cheryl it's an honor to be here with you and the uh the other uh speakers today and uh if you had told me about 20 years ago what was going to transpire with my mom what was going to happen with her I'd say you're crazy you couldn't make up the scenario uh I think there's going to be some similar stories to this in my case as Cheryl mentioned uh my mom lost her home in Katrina but before that uh we are seeing some concerning signs uh agitation confusion memory loss paranoia not taking care of the house not taking care of the finances this was my first uh experience with Denial in this journey with my mom that well maybe she's just getting older she's stressed right she's taking she was in the caregiver role for my late stepfather and we thought that if he passed away or went into a care facility himself would she bounce back we never get that opportunity because as you mentioned in August 2005 she lost her home to Hurricane Katrina completely Swept Away down to the foundation needless to say even though she had evacuated and she was safe seeing her home gone the trauma of it ex accelerated whatever was happening with her we found out later it was Alzheimer's uh she went with other family members uh for a couple of years on the East Coast I'll tell a quick story which illustrates the vividness the the devastation that Alzheimer's does to people shortly after the storm she's with step family in North Carolina and she was trying to exit seek she was trying to escape I won't get into the reasons why other than you know her her and fortunately another family member got her on the phone and says Sheila my mom's name if you don't get back in that house you may end up somewhere you don't want to be insinuating in institutionalized I got on the first available plane plane to North Carolina which I was planning on going anyway and she was very glad to see me when I arrived and I said Mom and this is a little bit of uh I like to use the worm not therapeutic lying but compassionate deception said Mom tomorrow we're going to to go see a new doctor we were going to the ER I was going to get her checked in and observed I was in that ER with her for about 10 hours mostly in a conference room my mother's the The Strain interace the the the the anchor the the the fear was just I I barely recognized her it was the hardest emotional night of my life fortunately got her admitted she got on some medication next morning I get off the elevator and she says there you are there's my savior she wasn't mad at me was the disease so after a couple of years I started doing the co cross country travel I do long-distance caregiving collaborating with my family to get get her supported uh in 2008 moved her out here to the Portland Oregon area to a Care Community which I had wanted to be in I had started attending a support group started getting counseling for all the stress started looking at this Care community and she was less than a year as expected in assisted living and then moved into memory care she was there for about four years and she passed away 11 years ago at age 83 so I would just want to mention real quick that and I like what Dr George was talking about environment and things like that it's not just age she was in her early 70s it's not just genetics with Alzheimers and other types of dementia nobody else in our family has it but due to and I'm not going to list them all environmental and lifestyle choices we think that some combination of them is why my mother got Alzheimer's I don't have a risk factors but I'm very aware of them and I proa upon my health so the important thing is that after she passed away at age 83 I kept going to the support group uh I thought I was just going to do more volunteer work as I approached my uh retirement from a completely unrelated state job and I came across the concept of a caregiving support consulant which is what I'm doing today as she mentioned I turned my personal loss into my passion in my mother's honor and memory now men tend to be different kinds of car geears of women and in my case I have no children no grandchildren so I was suddenly thrust into the caregiving role the nurturing role fortunately I think my mother brought out the that strong side of of me and men tend not to uh look for counseling or go therapy I can do it myself it's it's a job it's a task a series of projects to take care of their loved one and I probably wasn't that much different uh but the important thing is whether you're a man or woman and and men more and more are stepping into this Ro we are a microcosm of that here today uh used to be with dementia that about one out of every five Caregivers for dementia was a man now it's like one out of every three and I see into my support groups and my clients but we can take on that role and do it uh like anybody else and maybe in our own special way the important thing is when you're seeing that first diagnosis those first signs don't kick the can down the road don't go into denial don't shove it into the rug talk about it with your family look for seek support don't try to do it alone don't try to do it all by yourself that's a recipe for Burnout for getting sick or worse because many times very often the caregiver pred deases the person they're taking care of because they don't watch out for their own health make sure that they're safe make sure they're getting good care take care of the legal documents like power of attorney and health representative because then you can't be their caregiver you can't be their full Advocate you won't even be able to talk to the doctors these are very important things to take care of but Alzheimer's and other dementia are debilitating Progressive diseases there is still no known cure we are getting closer we're seeing early testing like blood testing to help diagnose earlier so you can get some treatment you can uh take on better lifestyle like good eating good sleep and keeping active physically mentally socially but the important thing is going back to don't try to do it yourself collaborate with your family it doesn't have to fall upon a daughter or a niece or a uh a daughter-in-law uh guys we can do it and we can do it in conjunction with the other family members I have clients and support groups like three four brothers and they're teaming up together to take care of their parent and that's a great example of what we can do so again I've turned my personal loss into my passion and my Encore career in my Mom's honor and memory and today as she mentioned I'm a caregiving support consultant a certified senior advisor trained Elder mediator and try to help as many people as possible raise awareness spread the word know that you don't have to go out alone and on this debilitating disease and the other ones that are similar and just talk about it in your family ask for support and take care of yourself self-care is very important as Dr George talked about uh one of the things I did like I said I went to the support group got counseling went for regular massages it did wasn't a luxury it was a necessity I got away from my desk and that job uh full-time job I had uh had to get away that desk to keep down my stress because every time that phone rang from the Care Community I was worried fortunately they were good they said don't worry your mother's fine but she had a little you know Nick or something like that so they're really good so thank you again Cheryl for having me here thanks for listening to my story it's an honor and uh if you need to reach me Cohen Coen Cohen caregiving support.com thank you for listening the global caregivers Network presents the first annual Global male caregivers Summit coming your way April 13th 2024 beginning at 900 a.m. to 100 p.m. Eastern Standard Time register on event brigh to hear from the most amazing and powerfully inspiring men as they share caregiving from the male perspective grab your ticket today and we'll see you there [Music]