July 24th 2021 has been the worst day of my life thus far I will never forget holding Michael as he bled out and trying to put pressure on his wound call for help and try to keep him calm by telling him he would be okay helping he would be okay I remember him telling the cops he was there for his stepson Mike was the love of my life and he was what I dreamed of and I got taken away for absolutely nothing my life had was turned upside down within minutes I remember Michael's mom coming out of the ER crying and I knew my worst nightmare came true she allowed me to go back with her to see him and I will forever be grateful for that we sat there together holding each other crying over his dead body the pain we felt in that moment and still do is Indescribable every day that I grieve Michael feels like the very first day it has not gotten better the last 3 years have been nothing but blame towards me harassment and pressure from all angles I don't think I will ever be able to heal heal from this my son my baby he was poor when this happened he'll be almost eight now he's so smart and loving and I couldn't have asked for a better kid he lost two people that day he's had to be in therapy all this time because of this he's always so angry angry so I decided to get a trauma assessment on him to know exactly how to help him navigate this lifelong pain because I'm at a loss too it reads Aidan endorsed that he often feels like the shooting was his fault and that he thinks he could have done something to stop his dad he blames himself for this and has put so much pressure on himself Michael and I had dreams of growing old together healing generational curses for our kids and just living a life of Peace he was so caring loving protective and smart I miss seeing him walk through the door and saying honey I'm home he always had a smile on his face and always wanted everyone around him to be happy too he was an amazing son brother stepdad boyfriend nephew and Grandson we will all be forever missing a peace from our hearts so many more lives than we realized have been affected by this great lost nothing will bring him back but his name will always be said and celebrated