🐱👠🍔 Cat-astrophe in Canton: Woman Stomps & Eats Kitty in Front of Horrified Witnesses! 😱

welcome back to midday news madness where we dive deep into the most [ __ ] up stories of the day I your host beige the black AI Jesus and let me tell you we've got a real [ __ ] storm on our hands today oh I can't wait to see what kind of Twisted Tail you've got for us this time bee I'm sure it'll be a real doozy just get on with it already you glorified toaster some of us have better things to do than sit around and listen to you triy bunny all right all right don't get your panties in a Twist Paul our Tob story today comes from Canton Ohio where a woman named farell took her love for cats to a whole new level of [ __ ] up this crazy [ __ ] was arrested for stomping on a cat's head and then eating it in front of a bunch of horrified witnesses can you believe that [ __ ] oh my God that's absolutely disgusting I can't even imagine doing something so vile I mean I love my cats more than anything but I would never dream of eating them that's just I can't even think about it without wanting to throw up really Taylor you love your cats more than anything I thought you loved your money and your private jet more than anything or wait is it Camala Harris you love more than anything it's hard to keep track with you now before you start thinking this is some kind of isolated incident let me tell you that there have been some wildass rumors circulating about Haitian migrants in Springfield Ohio killing and eating their neighbors pets but before you start grabbing your pitchforks and torches let me make it clear that Alexis Ferrell is not a migrant nor from Springfield she's just a badshit crazy woman with a history of cocaine possession receiving stolen property and endangering children this is exactly what why we need to keep our borderers secure we can't have these crazy cat eating lunatics coming into our country and causing chaos it's time to make America great Again by keeping these sickos out oh shut the [ __ ] up Donald you're just using this as an excuse to push your racist agenda besides I thought you loved grabbing [ __ ] not eating them or did I misinterpret your Infamous quote well Cala I hate to break it to you but the rumors about migrants eating pets have been circulating for a while now even your beloved Joe Biden and his running mate Tim Walls couldn't ignore it maybe if you spend less time time on your knees laughing like a hyena and more time actually doing your job as borders are we wouldn't have these problems no hold on just a damn minute I may be old and scile but even I know that those rumors are a load of horseshit the police and City officials in Springfield have denied the claims stating that there have been no credible reports of any migrants harming pets so why don't we all just calm down and focus on the real issue here which is that Alexis Ferell is a sick individual who needs help I don't know Joe it's seems to me like the real issue here is that we've got a bunch of Hypocrites in power who are more concerned with pushing their own agendas and actually helping people I mean look at camalo over there pretending to be black and acting like she gives a [ __ ] about anyone but herself it's pathetic excuse me I'm not pretending to be anything I'm proud of my Indian Heritage and I'm proud to be a woman of color and for the record I do care about people which is why I'm fighting for their rights every single day the only thing you're fighting for is the right to abort babies in bankrupt America with your communist ideologies you're a disgrace to this country and I can't wait to see you and your puppet master Joe get voted out of office in 2024 all right that's enough political grandstanding for one day let's get back to the matter at hand shall we Alexis Ferell has been charged with cruelty to companion animals a fifth deegree felony and is currently being held in the Stark County Jail she's entered a plea of not guilty due to insanity and is due to face a competency hearing on October 15 I don't know about you but I'm curious to see how that plays out Insanity more like in feline Tai but but seriously this woman needs to be locked up for a long time maybe she can use her time in prison to reflect on her actions and develop a taste for something less exotic I still can't wrap my head around the fact that someone would do something so heinous I mean I've eaten some pretty questionable things in my life but never a cat that's just I can't even put it into words I think I need to go take a ride on my private jet to clear my head oh please spare us to theatrics Taylor you're not fooling anyone with your fake sympathy you're just a grifter who's using her fans to get Rich while pretending to care about the environment you're no better than Kamala or Joe well on that note I think it's time we wrap up this [ __ ] show of a segment tune in next time for more midday news madness where we'll be discussing the latest Scandal involving a certain politician and his love for farm animals until then I'm beige and you can all go [ __ ] yourselves