come here you drooled on me hang on medical emergency oh okay I gotta go Nicole Kidman tried to Blink and tore her forehead open again out of my way I am a doctor I'm a doctor out of my way all right [ __ ] off thank you this has been fun I have to set the record straight so uh for the record I do have a tight [ __ ] right Tommy right any anyway doesn't matter okay first of all I want to thank Jimmy Kimmel for hosting he's been great yes he's been so great but but then again as a member of PETA I love anything with BD that can be trained as [ __ ] in a box as you can imagine it's been very uncomfortable up here for me at least these last 90 minutes because this is actually the longest I've ever been in clothes there's been a lot of talk about all the guys I've had sex with a lot of whom couldn't be here tonight because the Staple Center wasn't [Laughter] available I want to thank Jimmy Adam Greg Nick Andy and everyone else in the room that Sarah Silverman has [ __ ] Eddie Griffin I would love to have thanked you too but I'm told Sarah only blew you I guess that last commercial break was shorter than she expected funny stuff okay lady bunny I always knew you were crazy but in that skirt I can clearly see your nuts wow I can't believe my friend Courtney Love is here doing standup comedy this is great I mean I know she could do comedy I just didn't know she could stand up I mean she and I have been friends for years she remembers one of them actually Nick chipalo came up to me backstage and told me he was a huge whole fan so I introduced him to Lisa [Laughter] Lampanelli you go girl yeah yeah you go girl okay Andy I want to thank you for her Larry's doctor sketch I know how nauseous it makes you to touch a woman oh oh you know what I forgot Greg Geraldo but so of the rest of you is this my shirt seethrough darn it oh oh damn not again underdressed again okay if I just do this okay no one tell oh boy B I want to thank you for reading my book my publist was right it does sound much sexier in a man's voice oh my boobs are so out there sorry thank God this is Comedy Central yeah that's yeah it's all right it's okay yeah it's all right yeah and yes okay we've all okay yes we have all heard all night how Tommy's well endowed but he's also very Charming yes Tommy I remember when we met you had the best pickup line you said I'm very well endowed and Charming I remember the first time I saw Tommy's penis I was speechless until my throat healed Tommy you and I were together for three years and through it all I can honestly say those were the happiest years of your [Applause] life okay I've had a great time tonight but I have to say the reason I went through this was to benefit the P organization I want to thank them for all their incredible work and I want to thank everyone here tonight and none of this would have been possible without my two dear friends Poncho and Lefty good night everybody thanks Jesus Christ let's um let's jump down come [Applause] here I like want to thank everyone for coming tonight PA the police thanks tonight bye