your takeaway is just kind of off yeah I mean I that screwed us from the jump obviously three runs in the first it can kind of suck the energy out of of the building and um you know it's hard the first inning has been a weird thing for me this year and um you know it's it's a lot to ask of of the rest of our guys to to dig me out of a hole every game you often talk about just with each outing especially last two them being building blocks do you look at this one as that or is this uh were there parts that were step forward I guess were a step backwards for you no I mean it performance- wise obviously you know a pretty big step backwards from from the past two um The only positive thing I guess is is kind of long first and and get into the six obviously I would like to to keep that going I had pitch count kind of in check going into the six and and then give up two hits so um you know put our bullpen in kind of a bad spot coming out first and third or whatever it was so um yeah just just shitty do you think they're a jump on your ear what you say why do you think they were able to jump on you early today um yeah I made a couple bad pitches obviously the o to belly we're kind of trying to let a ball go and and he Clips it you he's had a lot of home runs but uh you know it's not where I'm trying to go with the ball and and he kind of made me pay for it and um you they put good swings on on a couple decent pitches obviously sa a ton of hits and uh just it wasn't good enough were the Home Run balls just more elevated than you were intending to both to belly and to Bush yeah I don't think that's a super surprising thing they're both at the top of the Zone before the game we're talking with Dave and he acknowledged that the the injuries and rotation have kind of opened up a lane for you to pitch your way into a PO season roll mhm do you think in those terms every time you go out there now uh no I mean at some point like given the way this season's going I'm kind of just trying to survive at some point and you know the past two of past t or three have given me a little bit of confidence and feeling more like myself but you know at some point I'm just kind of waiting on that six onone and feel good and you know punch more more than Innings I throw and things like that so um you at the end of the day I've got to perform and I've kind of said that for a long time so um you know I got to perform for for myself but more for our team you know we're we're kind of getting to the end of a a race here and um whether I pitch in the playoffs or not or or whatever like we need to make the playoffs and and be in a good spot and and let the guys that have carried us all year kind of carry us wherever we're going to go so um you know at this point I'm trying to go and and US win the game when I start thanks