GUTFELD FULL EPISODES BREAKING AUGUST 28, 2024 GREG GUTFELD SHOW TODAY

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] yeah I know y it's going to be it's going to be your hump day tonight happy Wednesday everyone so KLA Harris will give her first major interview on Thursday but not without bringing her running mate Tim Walls but we get it as a former football coach walls will know when to take her out at the first sign of traumatic brain injury plus walls will be there in case she needs to use the lady's room and she'll be there in case he also needs to use the lady's room meanwhile according to a report Comm team demanded she be allowed to sit during the presidential debate but Trump has to be on a pelaton engulfed in a swarm of bees but believe it or not her team did request that she be allowed to have notes which was denied although she will be allowed to bring this that's real McDonald's is introducing its biggest burger ever called the big art March and it's being rolled out first in Canada if we leave now we can be there in 8 hours said one man he's a friend man California Democrats are pushing a bill that would give illegal aliens up to $150,000 to buy homes foreigners w at this rate we'll be mowing their lawns thank you thank you the view is starting a new season next week and it's promising a hot news studio and we're pleased to show it to you here for the first [Applause] time meanwhile scientists are saying it's a mistake to take advice from the world's oldest people well unless it's stock advice finally a sexually frustrated dolphin is accused of rubbing its genitals on beachgoers near Tokyo Japan in other news Jesse Waters has booked the next flight to Tokyo so if you ever want to know if you're on the right side of things take a look at the adts on the other side according to a recent report from USA Today 238 Republican staffers signed a letter endorsing kamla Harris the letter claims that another Trump presidency would irreparably damage our beloved democracy and although they disagree with the Dems the alternative is simply untenable the staffers worked for McCain George W bush Mitt Romney meaning the same people who were also once deemed a threat to democracy by the Dems how quickly the stupid forget so how is it that 238 genuine conservatives are so offended they're fleeing the GOP to glom onto the most liberal presidential candidate of our lifetimes a lady unburdened by the weight of brain cells a woman so left she's left reality I mean this is a this is a crackpot who bailed out violent felons wants the tax money you haven't made yet while also demanding that you pay for inmat sex changes if she got any nuttier you could feed her to an elephant but the answer as ever is one word Trump and it trumps everything it's never policy because they never mention it instead they prattle on about nebulous fears while catering to a party that Imports killers and rapists cuz apparently ours aren't up to the job and they wrote a similar letter in 20120 so how'd that work out we know it's like being circumcised with a spork for the past last four years we could go through the list of disasters from the border to Afghanistan crime inflation not to mention the odd Staffing decisions so shouldn't these truth tellers at least admit their endorsement came at a cost or could it be it didn't cost them at all they got a payoff the media's strange new respect invitations to cocktail parties previously off limits a guest spot on CNN sniffing Jim acosta's farts [Music] and so after four years of leftwing lunacy they went and did it again as if nothing happened in between and you know it's not about policy hell even Harris is stealing Trump's positions instead it's that he refused to do it their way so in a way it's like suing the doctor who saved your life because he shaved your head to cut the tumor out so now they're on the war path like Liz Warren at a Columbus Day Parade you know it's no question these Republicans took similar abuse from the left that Trump takes now every day George W Bush was called a war criminal they deemed Romney a bigot a cracker who' put blacks back in Chains and there's McCain who was loved by the media until he ran against Obama then he became the old reactionary bigot who bom ran and caus World War III it's obvious these Republicans are more full of than a hotel toilet at an IBS convention they're really just swamp rats terrified of the orange monster cuz he flipped the script when Trump came along nothing went according to plan Republican or Democrat there's an approved way of doing these things approved pipelines to produce candidates and Trump unclogged that Pipeline with a fire hose filled with xlx no wonder they act like they got their prostates punched by Mike Tyson but remember the Dems may be able to capture 23 8 drones but Trump got a Tulsi and an RFK Jr and that's a trade that I will take any day cuz those cuz those two aren't just signing letters they're putting themselves out there offering ideas and discussing Solutions people who are like Trump willing to break the mold so if you're truly radical a rebel in the purest sense how can you not do the same you know they sued Trump they tried to arrest him they tried to kill him they changed laws and the ways we voted to prevent him from winning they shamed targeted and hoax not just him but also his supporters what does that tell you he's scary scarier than a court-ordered orgy with a view so this is the moment when you ask do you want to join a petition of or a pirate ship full of scary people the great thing about being on a pirate ship you've already decided that you don't give a what people think you're free Freer than those petition signing pansies unlike them you aren't desperate for acceptance you are your own person you don't need to belong you just need to be honest especially on November 5th woke up tonight's guest every morning coffee has a hot cup of her co-host of outnumbered Emily cabano he looks like the kind of guy who broke your uncle's legs over a gambling debt comedian Rich Voss she's got a kid in her belly and her office is smelly New York Times bestselling author of and he keeps the actual Statue of Liberty on his dashboard New York Times bestselling author comedian and former Emily are you ever influenced by petitions by a group of people signing on to one cause to influence you to change your mind never no never and no one is and that's exactly the point that all of these guys signed it because their currency was them signing it with each other it's a really insular Community there and that ensured to your point earlier that they're still in the game whatever game it is whatever organizations committees cockta parties invitations the the leak lines you know the trusted reporters they clearly are coming to each other and say hey time for this again or you're you're going to sign this right but at the end of the day it was based on such fallacy so the call to action they said was to conservative Independence and those moderate Republicans that they claimed swayed the 2020 election they went on to say that a trump presidency as you said was untenable right but the whole point the whole movement of conservatism of any type of common sense or rationale was everything that he stands for so even if you remove if they don't like what he said about McCain or have certain issues with his personality how can you claim with a straight face that limited government and secure borders and the the rights for people to actually have their freedoms the First Amendment maybe not law fair maybe maybe just simple economics lower inflation the value of your savings actually holding the the list goes on of things that America is actually untenable is right now under Harris and Biden and the Democratic watch so for them to try to Gaslight Americans and say no no no all of these would be untenable what planet are they on the point is their own and it's really tiny M well said she has great points and also great arms I don't know what to say to that I can say that on TV because that's not harassment You Know Rich if if a group 200 people signed a letter that says we hate Rich Voss would that influence or persuade you well was probably the club I was working at that night uh first of all first of all after your monologue and what she just said I really realized how stupid I am it's just I'm going wait a second these people really prepare uh we don't expect you to prepare no here's thing you know they they they do these polls you know they don't talk you know 200 former they don't and talk about the 300 that are on his side they always you know it's like look when I'm at a club and I'll go to the club want to look okay so 90 people walked out but those 10 that stayed they really liked me you see what I'm saying J cat you know if you wanted to I bet you could find 200 people at Fox who would want to fire me or sign a petition to have me fired and that would just be on the 18th floor I'm not going to say anything um I I I really don't understand this cuz it's just like you don't have to like either one of them guys yeah you know if you don't want to vote for Trump that's fine I don't understand if or if you don't want to vote for comma you do want to vote for kamla why do you need to endorse Comm you don't have to endorse comma How could could you endorse somebody if you're a capitalist for example just one of the things if you're a capitalist how could you say yes I'm putting my name on this just because for obviously a lot of people think I'm crazy for this but I just have an independent thought where I don't have to sign up for one side or the other put my name on for one side or the other um and I just I mean you will have people from both sides yelling at you if you do that but I don't let people yelling at me about what not to do stop me from doing what I want to do cuz I'm not a baby in the park yes yeah one guy agrees with me if I if I would have said I get it if I would have said something different if I would have said something different everybody would have clap for me and that's okay don't blame them cat no no no it's no because it can be really tough to not have a side it can be really tough to have a especially in an election year literally everybody hates you and it can be tough but that's the only reason why I can even fathom something like these people can't possibly actually support comma or their policies or they don't really have principles at all all right you know you see it this one hand you know the media got all excited about this petition and on the other side you have RFK and Tulsi gabard wouldn't you be happier to have two kind of basically freethinking independent Minds than 200 clones well yeah well they're they're independent minds too Greg but here's the thing there's no money for them with the Trump Administration they've been fired moved on from the party shifted from them so they're not getting $250,000 for speaking engagements anymore and they're not able to show up influences and and get get the little inside perks when they were in the thing and they had control they don't so what do you do you go to the other side and you make a big deal about endorsing them for what hopefully the other side will start asking you to do speaking events and maybe there's a cabinet position for you where or maybe you could go out on the campaign Trail it's basically 200 people who ask for a job because there's no job for with Trump that's all this is about that's their LinkedIn that's it yeah that's all it is yes they're like that you know when you're walking down the city and you see a flyer on a telephone pole and it says we'll help you move and you tear off a little thing and it turns out they come to your house and they abuse you that's what these people are right they're like they put it up there it says hey we're not going to vote for Trump would you please hire me yep interesting Rich uh do you where are you politically I never well you know where am I well one thing I heard and this is what I heard so don't quote me on this yes but Camala used to go out with Montel Williams yes I heard she gave him Ms that's I heard now I don't know of all the things all hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on before you before you start the love him was so good he got MS from it she's got my vote where you want me to tell you yes I tell you I had now have to hear this whole story no where I where I am politically uh who's ever well this is who I stand with here and here I who's ever more uh on the side of Israel who's ever going to help Israel or uh May put the stop the anti-Semitism in this country and move forward uh I'm on that team okay I'm I not there we go I never saw that coming okay up next says Harris need notes to generate quotes a story in five words [Music] kamla wanted notes for debate so rich this is interesting a senior Trump adviser says kamla's team wanted to to be able to use like a cheat sheet for the upcoming news debate the Harris campaign Source says that's not true but given the other things they asked for it sounds like they're not too confident in her do you use cheat sheats when you're on stage you know I think that is so ridiculous that uh no I don't use even if I'm doing new material I just work it out but you know these debates are unbalanced you know when when the moderator is basically her campaign manager you know throwing softball questions uh you know uh should children go hungry you know and then to Trump what were your legal fees uh you know so uh I I I don't think and whenever they go for a big interview they're giving the qu they're not taking hor ball questions I heard Biden on a major radio show and I didn't care ask him what's going on Ukraine Israel Detroit whatever you know what I'm saying which is a nice place if you're a bullet but anyhow that's that's where I stand and I stand corrected cat uh if she's also um bringing a plus one to her interview on Thursday Walt she's bringing basically her sugar daddy politically not literally you sick people I also don't understand how he would be her political sugar daddy either I don't either good making sure I mean the fact it to me the fact that it's taken the I'm still hung up I'm sorry on the phrase first interview yes this is that's true November's not that far away I mean there was a lot of signs many of us pointed out that Joe didn't seem to be able to probably go the distance of four more years uh we were all called horrible names for pointing that out then all of a sudden he drops out and whatever and then she's and then she's still still she's a media manufactured thing at this point and I think that the fact that this is already this is the first one this should be the first of that's what I'm more concerned about than the little details I want to see more of her but I think that her team sadly was smarter than that cuz she's not the best at talking it would be good if she showed up with Montel Williams that would be an ms3 um a lot of questions would be there here look the the cheat is on okay they did this for Hillary they gave her the questions they have so much lack of respect for her long-term memory that they they want her to have notes cuz they're afraid even giving her the questions in the back and going over it on the dry race board five or six times that she'll go out there and forget or get them mixed up wouldn't it be hilarious if she was answering the questions for the other question when they asked her the first question but she answers the second question like what is your foreign policy well as far as the Green New Deal goes what needs to happen is oh no no no wait okay what will be unburdened yes but we know why you did that and we we took the Quaaludes away from you and you've been great ever since that was for you but yeah she's they they're trying to do everything they can because they know what's going to happen when they can't do anything for her now the next thing to tell us that overnight there was a sonic boom and she lost Hearing in her right ear so she's got to have a earpiece in so she can hear that'll be next with somebody in the back going saying for her word for word and even that she'll like what I'm sorry I can't what would you say so they are terrified of this of this debate it's and if they can't get Trump to get off script and her and him get into an argument which I think she probably will do better women tend to argue a lot better than we do because we're facts and their feelings so if they can get her feelings then she's got a shot yeah she wants one Brave man oh one one honest woman I'll take that lying ass women yeah she she wants that moment where she can say I'm talking you know that one moment you know I'm always impressed I know Montel Williams and you're no Monto you know Emily I'm always impressed like in the a block you just rattled off off that stuff I you're not even sitting here with notes and you just what do you have a photographic memory for things that men probably get annoyed by I will say this that I do do that mean like like you know when you're you're like and I remember on and June 5th when you said this like that kind of thing it was a bad joke this is why I'm not the funny one um okay here's here's what I wanted to say that the travesty of this she is not just a candidate guys she is our current vice president and she likes to remind us how prior to that she was Senator and attorney general in da my point is shouldn't the vice president already have command of all of that information the debate should be the easy part after you prepare for the five all day let's say and then you do your show and let's say you're walking offset and someone like oh quick question about X you could rattle off everything cuz you spent all day preparing for that hard hour right that's funny you think that what you say what you saying as an as an example right like you right as an example so so the fact that our vice president who told us that she was the one more suited to meet with all of the foreign leaders during that G7 Summit in Europe that she remembered declined meeting with the spouses of the leaders cuz she said no no no I'm vice president I don't meet with spouses so she wants us to trust her representing the us but she can't even trust herself to do it solo she can't even trust herself to have a conversation without walls holding her hand how in the hell am I supposed to trust her in the white house or with anyone else if she can't even be trusted on a stage for five minutes yeah y see no notes wow no notes I would just like to point out that both of us do have notes yes it's fine to have notes No in fact in fact I it's not that I don't know this stuff it's that like it's like my emotional support notes honestly I just like to know that they're here exct like numbers and stuff I need them I never know what I'm saying I don't really look at I don't look at my notes but I always keep anxiety medicine in my pocket there you go another approach yeah yeah all right up next dams think it's best to Nick rfk's request [Applause] we seeing right in front of our face names and playing games the race sad be we got to ask you get oh what a pleasant surprise Jean was working extra hard today I knew that shock train would work all right welcome to can you get more obvious tonight Dems Force RFK onto ballots cat this is really interesting uh he wanted his name off so it wouldn't screw Trump out of votes but the Democrat Secretary of State in Michigan your state and Wisconsin elections commission are denying his request to be removed so basically he wants his right not to run for president to be respected and they deny it yeah first of all I am from Michigan yes you this is all my fault no it is yeah I live there 18 years ago and and then this happened cause and effect make no mistake they're directly related uh yeah the whole thing it's just look it's you can't get off and then you can't get on the ballot when you want to get on the ballot they make it tough because then maybe they but it's it's just politics is dirty it's just dirty because at first they thought maybe that he would take votes from them but now when they realize that actually people might be more likely to vote for Trump and I think people started realizing that maybe even before he Endor Trump because a lot of his support came from people that were pissed off particularly about covid which a lot of people made mistakes but Democrats handled in a particularly I would say deranged uh horrible corrupt oppressive tyrannical way so then it's you know all of a sudden there's this change I think who I don't know that make that much of a difference cuz if you're like maybe if you're that much of an RFK dude you probably would write him in anyway or something like that so I'm not really sure but yeah politics is a dirty dirty game it's a dirty dirty game Tyrus you know what's funny though is the the Democrats tried to get Cornell West off the ballot in Michigan but the Jo I think the Judge uh said they yeah put him on but so they wanted Cornell off and RFK on there's some slaming because of his stance on Palestine that's what I can't imagine imagine it but it just goes to show you and you say it's dirty but there's there's levels to dirt and they couldn't they they wouldn't give him security they they brought his family in to go after him they they did everything they could to to and then they finally can get rid of them but they can't afford it because they're so afraid because the wheels are falling off they they don't even care if they lose votes to him in Michigan as long as it they hope it hurts Trump that so they're on a hope campaign you know is this part of the joy through strength manifest that they're because they they continue to do these things they go after this guy they finally get rid of him but he didn't go away like they wanted him to he he did he gave them every opportunity to include him right he went to and all he was like listen he he was eating crow all he wanted to do was to really be in charge of fixing food in this country for our kids and our future it doesn't matter whether you're a donkey or an elephant we all got to eat yeah I would think we' all would like to eat healthier together so I don't understand why they would be like hell no yeah and then they let him go and Trump says hell yeah scoop and score will'll take him yeah and now they're after him to the point where they're now and he has no security so you worry you worry like with the with what we saw with other people get influenced by what you say you're toxic accounts by other politicians that your political enemies or whatever we unfortunately have citizens in this country who take it to the next level so they continue to go at them and you start to worry about what the results are me because the Democrats clearly don't care they are so focused on keeping this election their way that there are no breaks there are no hey hey you know what this is too much and that's that's really scary yeah they don't know when to stop Emily no yes so let me get this straight if you're a Democrat you can just step aside all of the the votes that the nominate that made you the nomination and just say hey guys instead of me it's going to be comma yes but if you're an independent you can't say I no longer want to be the one running I withdraw and to your point wasn't it oh Carrie Kennedy Progressive Catholic and all the rest of the Kennedy clan that fought so hard to have him removed that fought so hard to say everyone he is not deserving of this he's not worthy of this and yet here he is being put back on the ballot they say oh it's only death that will make him be removed to your point well what ises that signal then so only if you vote blue are you able to totally rearrange Civics 101 but if you are an independent or dare to support Trump in any way and if they think it's going to benefit them in any way then God help you you cannot even be the master of your own life you know you bring up a great point you can clap go ahead I'll let you clap all right that's enough but you not too much not too much you know you talk about how they got Joe Biden off the ballot well Ben Shapiro had this great idea if you leave RFK on the ballot they should be forced to keep Joe Biden on the ballot right cuz he's not running either totally y yeah that little that little Jewish fella he's pretty [Laughter] smart couple of us are yeah Rich so what's your feeling on this incredibly substantive topic here's the deal I I came out too strong so it's hard to follow myself it's like if you get a a new job yes never show up the first day cuz then they expect that out of you you see what I'm saying and then go in and ask for your vacation time yes uh my opinion on this is I did no research I thought the opposite I read it wrong I thought they took I Hey listen good for him go you know what you're a Kennedy you could do whatever you want you know what I mean so I listen I've already done well enough to Coast the rest of the [Applause] show they agree apparently all right we got easier topics coming up rich coming up should you think twice about Grandpa's advice five more [Music] words don't listen to old people so Tyrus scientists advise against taking health tips from centenarians those are people with multiple legs because their longevity may be due to luck or genetic factors rather than specific lifestyle choices which makes no sense because you can't interview the alternative they're dead because they're dead why do scientists suck I you know I was this an English scientist I believe it was British yes it was we need to stop treating British people as they're smart yes I'm sick of this amen I'm so tired of watching a movie in the scientist comes in it's good evening like no hell no give me somebody with a Southern accent I don't want this yeah the worst thing you could get is wisdom like oh no someone's 110 years old I want to know what was the what was the secret and if they tell me tobacco beer and fast women I'm in yes you know I never understood that fast woman thing CU I would assume slow move on move on someone married okay or or just any woman yes you know I heard Emily this is the best advice Health advice I ever got from an old person he says uh uh the key to being healthy is to get through each decade first so if you make it to 60 you're more likely to make it to 70 and if you make it to 70 you're more likely to get to 80 this is fabulous well yeah yeah if you don't make it to 60 you can't make it to 70 exactly or 61 that's just how numbers and counting work exactly no that's my point counting anybody claps I will beat you up I swear to go you were clapping that he can count it's a fact that makes sense it it does make sense that if you want to be 61 you have to be 60 first yes so if you get to 61 Emily not cat Emily okay 62 and get okay in order to get to 70 you have to get to 60 first yes totally so concentrate on the 60 and you'll get to 70 yes wait I just have to say how cute is your little um Count Dracula your count muet he just did the impersonation that was totally cute I feel like everyone missed it whatever okay listen you guys here's what we need to know about this study number one the scientists studied metadone worms that was their subject and from that they extrapolated this whole human thing number two they were making the point that governments haven't supported Healthy Lifestyles cuz we like to you know suppress RK junr so their point was like whoever did make it to longevity they are the ones that are like I smoke a pack a day I eat a platter full of bacon all that stuff so they were like don't ask them because they all have these nefarious habits but their point was so we should have the government step in and encourage everyone to be healthier because then more people will live to be centenarian and then we'll have a better control group ah I don't get that but it made sense no let's just stick with get to 60 you get to 60 and you'll get to 7 Rich you already look like you're 100 what do you ascribe this current Fitness that you have well here I in the last maybe seven eight months have not eaten like carbs not keto I'm not gay but uh like no like no pasta no no pizza no no cookie I'm not lying it was easier for me to quit crack than it is carbs although I never gave anybody a hand job for a kaiser roll but what I'm saying what I'm saying is I work out and I try to eat healthy and I'm sober 38 years ni that that's a guaranteed Applause wherever I go even in a bar 38 years how old are you how old am I yes listen I'll tell you in the morning when we get up how old am I he's 59 Greg 67 that's pretty good and look wow well that's a that's a happy happy story isn't it cat yeah he's getting close to 70 yeah he has to get to 68 first then he'll get to say it with me 69 we'll be back after [Applause] this up next a McDonald's meal with big appeal it's time for do we need it do we want it welcome to do we need it do we want it tonight the biggest McDonald's burger yet Emily they've rolled out its biggest burger the big arch they call it it's now first in Canada in a place called Portugal which I think is in Texas three slices of cheese two4 PB patties crispy onions pickles lettuce a Tangy sauce and if you look at the bottom in there you can see some french fries sticking out isn't this what the world needs yes it's so it's like a pranes with the fries inside but you guys here's what I have to say about this besides obviously we're all craving a burger now is that they their whole thing was like oh this is in response to all of our customers saying may we please have a bigger Burger that's affordable right and that's why they have it in Canada because under kalalan Biden's watch this not affordable here yes whoa well I guess we'll just have to run to the Border a little fast food humor cat just I just get diarrhea looking at it yeah I just don't really know like who it's for I mean I do Canadians eat like that I don't know they have something called what's that weird they the yeah the fries with the gravy on them so I guess I guess they should put gravy on it for the Canadian yes I I I I I mean McDonald's is supposed to be disgusting though that's what makes it so special mhm it is people say that about me yeah that is true that is true and also your nickname is a big arch I don't know what that means it's in her foot she walks on her to yeah she walks on her toes You Know Rich uh did do you do you eat McDonald's at all well my wife is from Canada so I eat nothing from Canada uh SE SE bedrooms uh I don't eat I haven't had I haven't had red meat in 35 years I just don't eat you know what once in a while I'll sneak off to Popeyes yeah and get that that sandwich yeah but I don't you know I look at enough of me already I'm done you can't get mad at someone for being real with you man yeah yeah I I'm bored by this topic I know who gives a about Canada they have Army on horses all right we're being attacked by the Renaissance Festival they stink not in a bad way in the bad way the bad way think you're covered yeah Tyrus I think the upside here is we can get our criminals fatter and that'll make them slower yeah but they also didn't tell you it comes with a free side of type two diabetes that's always nice I think it's going to call they're going to call it the fat tacular keep the the last thing we need is more cheap fattening food with horrible preservatives and the rumor is that's beef and if those are french fries they they look like cracked out onions so I mean keep it where it keep it in Canada the last thing we need in this country is another giant 4,000 calorie burger for our kids to be eating like we just keep that keep that keep it over there but did you know did you know that if you wanted to eat two of these you have to eat one first what if I want [Applause] three then you got to eat two one Burger uhhh it's two burgers uh uh uh see it you're absolutely right I think we learned something tonight about counting yes don't go away we'll be right back Emily Capo Rich boss Tim Tyrus studio audience fo I love you America