hey free comedy show plenty of seats plenty of tickets left guys free show [ __ ] sake so big night look my name is Lauren Michaels I'm the producer Saturday night the whole night yeah the whole night Chevy Chase Gilda rner Dan I how the [ __ ] do you pronounce this aoid you know I was thinking why don't we punt we should run the dress rehearsal and Claw back a win next Saturday we can't dick it's a live show we're just not ready doesn't matter that we're ready it matters that it's 11:30 that's when we go on Lauren all I'm trying to do is give you advice it's in everyone's best interest mainly yours all right was that a threat look around Lauren you haven't locked the script your crew is in open Rebellion [ __ ] F you [ __ ] you I definitely [ __ ] you the writers on the 17th Floor tied a belt around Big Bird's neck and hung him from my dressing room [Applause] door tell me how you fit into this Ensemble oh is this an ensemble hour NBC makes more money playing ruins of The Tonight Show NBC is lucky to have something as relevant as this show they don't even want that's logical dick that's why they're paying us all to be here I mean more 90 minutes of live television by a group of 20-year-olds who've never made anything do you ever stop and wonder why they said yes a counterculture show starring total unknowns with zero narrative and even less structur they want you to fail we just have to make it to air am I still in the show Jesus Christ sorry tripped over my penis