-Welcome back to the show, Selena, Marty, Steve. Thank you so much
for coming here. -James Kamala Fallon,
we love you. -Thomas. James Thomas.
Thanks. -Okay, first of all,
we're here because we love you. -Thank you.
-And we're also here because Colbert has gotten
a little pickier. -Okay, right. -But you have
the greatest staff, truthfully. -I do?
-Oh, my God. And they're all --
They're so sweet. They come up to me
and they all use the same conversation starter. "Are you hiring?" [ Laughter ] But really,
this show is remarkable. You have shattered
the glass ceiling for white middle aged guys
in show business. [ Laughter ] -Thank you. Oh! I'm so --
I'm touched. I'm so glad you're here. Look at how great
all of you look. You really all look great.
-Thank you. You know, there's
this constant radiant glow that I get from Steve and Marty. And then one day,
I realized it was just their iPhone lights
still on in their pocket. -It's hard to turn -- You get to a certain -- -We learn things constantly. But, you know,
Marty always looks great. And it's not easy to pull off
a full body compression suit. [ Laughter ] -No, listen, I accept I'm 70.
I've been ravaged by time. I accept that. In fact,
I've got a GoFundMe page just for my neck. [ Laughter ] -Selena, you look fabulous.
You never age. -Oh, well, thank you. [ Cheers and applause ] It... It kind of helps
sitting next to these guys. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -And Jimmy, you know,
really someone told me you're turning 50 next week. -That is true.
-And I thought that... [ Cheers and applause ] Really, and I thought
that can't be right. And then sitting here,
I realized that could be right. [ Laughter ] -When I came out,
I honestly thought, "Wow, did they get Harry Styles
to guest host?" -You thought that?
-Yeah. -You're all absolutely
tremendous on "Only Murders in the Building." What's it been like for the three of you
to all work together? -I mean, I have so much fun
working with these guys. I love it when the director
tells Steve and Marty what to do,
because then I have to repeat it to them about 20% louder. -Yeah.
-But I have learned a lot about tech from Selena. For example,
before I met Selena, I didn't realize --
I thought a selfie was something you did in private. [ Laughter ] -Now I want to talk to you -- I want to talk to you about
your show's Emmy nominations. -Yay!
-But first, congratulations. Congratulations.
-Thank you. -Wait a second,
I'm nominated, too?! -Yes!
-She won 21 Emmy nominations. Selena is nominated
for best actress. -My first one. [ Cheers and applause ] -21 nominations.
-And for her movie "Emelia Perez" in Cannes, got an 11 minute
standing ovation. -Oh!
-Yeah, congratulations. Look at you stunting
on the cover of "Vanity Fair." Sneak peek right here.
-Wow! -Calm down, calm down! Calm down, boy. -Marty and I were on the cover
of "Vanity Fair" once. -No, no, that was the cover
of "Farm Animal." -Right.
[ Laughter ] -Uh, Steve,
I also want to mention the fantastic documentary
about your career,. -Thank you.
-Which is gotten, I think, five nominations,
five Emmy nominations. It's a great documentary.
-Thank you. It's great.
It is called "Steve." It's on Apple.
If you haven't... -We spent three years
working on it and three seconds of naming it.
-Oh, wow. Congratulations. I got to go to the big premiere. I don't know
if you remember this, you ended up sitting
right next to me. -That's right. And all I did
was look at you. "Is he laughing?
Is he laughing? He's smiling, he's crying.
What about tears?" -I loved it so much.
-You sat right beside him? -So I went to the premiere
and I went by myself. And I saw Steve was being
really funny and talking about this thing. And then I sat down, there was an empty chair next
to me, and Steve came over
and... Did you feel bad for me, maybe? -No, Steve probably
didn't know where he's going. -I was surprised
when the show started. -Was it weird? Was it awkward
to sit beside someone who the documentary is about? Did you feel forced to laugh
when nothing was hitting? -No, it was the most
creative, fun documentary. But I didn't want to laugh
too hard 'cause I didn't want to look
like I was faking. But I really was laughing. And I think I was
hitting your knee. -That's before you learned
what a selfie actually was. [ Laughter ] -I got kicked out
of the theater, yeah. But 21 Emmy nominations,
that's got to be exciting. Congratulations.
"Only Murder..." [ Cheers and applause ] That's amazing. I wish you all could win,
obviously. But if you don't win, are you practicing
your losing face? -Yes.
-Oh, yeah. -We work on that.
-Do you want to practice it right now and show everybody?
-Sure, sure. T me up.
-This is if we lose. -Yeah.
-If you cut to us,
you're always on. -Yeah, they always cut you
in the crowd. Okay, here we go.
Practice. All right, here we go. And the Emmy goes to... not Selena Gomez. [ Laughter ] -That's really good.
-All right, Steve. Let's see you.
Let's see yours. [ Laughter ] Okay. That's very nice.
And how about you, Marty? -Yeah,
the Emmy goes to someone else? -Yes.
The Emmy goes to someone else. -Mama, I let you down! -[ Laughs ] Mama! I let you down? -Mama. Mama.
-[ Laughs ] -Mama, I let you down, Mama. -Deuce balls.
-[ Laughs ] What can you tell us
about the season four? -I'll tell you what,
the critics are calling it season four. -Wow!
That's big. Congratulations! -That's what it says
on Rotten Tomatoes. -Congratulations, yeah.
-It says "season four." -But you got to keep reading. -What can we set people
up for this season? -I just think we're
so excited to be back. We have a great show,
a great storyline, and all of our friends
are doing it with us. It's going to be a big one,
-And it is the greatest, happiest set
to visit in New York. It really is.
-Yeah. -And we always love our writers who work so hard
and deliver such a great script. -Everything. Yeah.
I want to show everyone a clip. Here's Steve Martin,
Martin Short, and Selena Gomez in season four of "Only Murders
in the Building" right now on Hulu. -Just hear me out. You get one shot at a biopic. Maybe two,
if you're someone special like Marilyn Monroe or
Jeffrey Dahmer. And the first 24 hours
of character study are the most crucial. I need Zach Galifianakis
to fall in love with this character today. -Okay, well,
you've been outvoted. -Charles, you get it.
You were an actor once. Don't you want Eugene Levy
to learn the real you? -Me? The unlikable guy
that everyone wants to kill? No, thanks. And my ego isn't so delicate that I need random validation from an Emmy Award
winning actor. -Charles. "The History of Wood"? Looks and brains. Eugene, you have big shoes
to fill. -You know, maybe
the actors could be helpful. -Ah-ha-ha! Yes! What? [ Cheers and applause ] "What?" -That music too is so great. The music,
it just works so well. Steve Martin, Martin Short,
Selena Gomez, everybody. My favorites! Season four of
"Only Murders in the Building" is streaming now on Hulu with new episodes on Tuesdays. Lainey Wilson joins us
after the break. Stick around, everybody.