and the national television award goes to Kate gay Derek SAR [Applause] can we just have a round of applause for this woman here please before go come forward come forward all of you don't leave me well as you can see by the general disheveled appearance I really genuinely did not expect this my goodness me um okay um this is a Bittersweet one isn't it because it's very bitter to be here with the gorgeous Darcy and Billy come forward I promise them they don't have to say anything but uh we're halfway through the first year of uh a first really first easers and first birthdays without Derek and it's so strange to be here for the first television Awards without him um but this one's for you Derek absolutely and isn't it but I think the reason why I'm standing here is because it wasn't really about Derek's story this last piece we didn't think we'd made in fact all three we never wanted to be in a POS position of making but nobody does do they and I think the reason why we're here is because thanks to the incredible work of flicker the production team Lucy who's in floods of Tears because come forward Lucy because she's lived and breathed there and also dog who is the editor who's just made beautiful beautiful bills met Billy for the first time tonight Lucy's obviously R Us all but he's been in an edit Suite living Our Lives you two are incredible the whole of flicker is incredible and you made a beautiful film that touched the hearts of all of you cuz we've all been vulnerable we've all struggle we've all lost someone or grieving someone and it's okay to feel those things and it's okay to need care and support and this one really is for all those people who care doctors nurses professional carers and people do it for their for their youngsters for their children for their love L ones we need a system that catches us when we fall not tries to catch us out and I really hope Derek we're going to keep the fight on for all of you thank you so much