-Good evening. I'm Seth Meyers.
This is "Late Night." We hope you're doing well. And now, if you don't mind,
we're gonna get to the news. The Democratic National
Committee released their party platform document
yesterday, which was written before President Biden
dropped out of the race, which explains why
"Bring back Columbo" was still in there. [ Laughter ] Hillary Clinton spoke tonight at the Democratic
National Convention. They decided to have
her speak on Monday because they knew she
just couldn't handle another balloon night. [ Laughter ] MyPillow founder
Mike Lindell said yesterday that he's gonna shave
his mustache in order to go undercover at the
Democratic National Convention, because don't forget the first rule
of going undercover -- tell everybody first. [ Laughter ] [ As Lindell ]
"I'm from Paris, France!" [ Laughter ] According to a new poll,
8% of Michigan voters said they would support a third
party candidate, adding, "Hmm, is there a fourth party?" [ Laughter ] While campaigning yesterday
in Pennsylvania, Vice President Kamala Harris
and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz stopped at a convenience store
for Doritos. Harris got the nacho cheese
and Walz opted for Extra Plain. [ Laughter ] A portion of a highway in
California was closed last week after a truck overturned and spilled hundreds of boxes
of raisins onto the road. "Now what will we do?" said the worst house
on Halloween. [ Laughter ] Bad news, kids, it's Kit Kats! [ Laughter ] The organizers of the annual
Naked in a Cave event held in upstate New York
have announced that this year's gathering
will be the last. Apparently, the one thing
the organizers feared finally came to pass. Someone finally told
the attendees about beaches. "Oh yeah, this is way better." And finally,
a woman in Massachusetts recently gave birth
on the side of a highway and had her husband cut
the umbilical cord in the parking lot
of a Dunkin' Donuts. The mother is said
to be doing well, and the baby is said to be
the new mayor of Boston. And that was a monologue,
everybody! We are off and running.