Gutfeld! 9/4/24 Greg Gutfeld FULL END SHOW | ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS Tᖇᑌᗰᑭ September 4, 2024

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] I know I know I feel the same way about me happy Wednesday everyone oh boy Brian stelter returning to CNN the network also announced their office cafeteria will be open 24 hours a day CNN claims that stelter's hiring is a bold move to increase their workplace diversity by adding a potato and who better to cover Joe Biden's last days than a vegetable you know Brian claimed that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to him even better than getting married having kids or when Wendy's created the Baconator it's good sandwich fun fact after being fired stelter said he had moved to a horse farm but now that he's finished eating he's ready to return to [Laughter] work CNN staffers expressed little pleasure in stelter's return but many were hopeful that this time around he gets his own bathroom stelter will once again publish a reliable sources newsletter but also get his own streaming service CNN plus size never over but CNN and briyan Selter are perfect match one is a bloated lying irrelevant disgusting unwatchable mess and the other is Brian shelter he could have gone either way he reports that his job as Chief media analyst requires him to sit and watch a ton of TV which does play to his skill set of sitting but it is strange that CNN would rehire somebody two years after firing him for a job that anyone could do why stelter he had terrible ratings no one liked him he was wrong on every major story seriously the only person who benefits from this is [Laughter] me thank you thank you CNN and finally in other news uh scientists have discovered a doughnut-shaped region of the Earth's core where seismic waves travel more slowly than in the rest of the core did someone say donut all right we're going to have more on him later God knows there's a lot you can put on him so Donald Trump gave an interview to scientist Lex fredman yesterday now it may not be the biggest news but it does tell you that Trump's not only willing to talk about his policies but he'll talk to anyone everyone at any time he'll put everything out there answer any questions so you know who he really is now compare that to Harris imagine if they were real estate agents Trump would take you on multiple House tours show you every nook and Cran the shower heads the basement the utility room he'll show you the servants entrance which isn't a euphemism and the mud room which is he might never shut up as he points out the wood work in the crawl space as you get more than ever you ever wanted to know before making an offer now compare that to Harris if she were the agent all you'd have is a single picture on the website and it might look like this but when you go to see it it looks like this see Trump not only has nothing to hide it wouldn't matter to him if he did he he'll tell tell you where he stands on anything even when bullets are flying he still has to get the last word in the Trump Vance ticket has done about 37 interviews last since last month compared to only one for Harrison Waltz so wherever you stand politically the fact that Trump will tell us what he intends to do in office makes him right now the far superior candidate well that and he didn't bang Willie Brown but truth is kamla is quite burdened by her past whether it was helping to destroy San Francisco her bang up job with our Southern border or that she fakes phone calls like when kilme calls me asking for money meanwhile with Lex and Trump Donald show showed his usual flare for nuance like is kamla a Marxist well she's a Marxist her her father's a Marxist and she's advoca a little unusual you know whenever we use terms like communism for her and I don't know if you know this but some people call you a fascist yeah they do so I figure it's all right to call them a communist yeah they call me a lot worse than I call them there you go then fredman bragged that he had a lot of friends I have a lot of friends who independent many of whom like your policies but they are troubled by what happened in the 2020 election and um statements about widespread fraud what can you say to those uh independent voters to help them decide who to vote for right I think the fraud was on the other side I think the election was a fraud and many people felt it was that and they wanted answers and when you can't challenge an election you have to be able to challenge it now Trump trump makes a good point just because they don't let you prove something doesn't mean it isn't true that's why until you come to measure my height I still assert I'm 5 fo7 but what about UFOs of course A lot of people are very interested in footage of UFOs a lot of people are very interested in footage of UFOs the the Pentagon is released a few uh videos and uh there's been anecdotal reports from fighter pilots so a lot of people want to know will you help push the Pentagon to release more footage which a lot of people claim is available oh yeah sure I'll do that I would do that I'd love to do that I have to do that see now it's not clear if Trump really believes in UFOs but he sees it's an apolitical issue we're just being curious is it sure win cuz we all want to know for example are anal probes all they're cracked up to be I'm still not convinced aliens prove me wrong Trump also suggested he'd release Jeffrey Epstein's entire Client List it's just very strange for a lot of people that uh the list of clients that went to the island has not been made public yeah it's it's very interesting isn't it probably will be by the way probably so if you are able to you'll be yeah certainly take a look at it yeah maybe finally all those famous Libs who claim they'll leave the country if Trump wins actually will he also pondered God I wonder if he thinks our country is missing a lot of religion I think our country is missing a lot of religion I think it really was a much better place with religion it it was some it was almost a guide you know to a certain extent it was a guide you want to be good to people without religion there's no real there are no guard rails I'd love to see us get back to religion more religion in this country you know he's right praising God sure beats worshiping a golden cow now I had to get out of there somewhere Lex also asked Trump if he thought much about death I wonder if it is what it is it is what it is say that to my urologist every month but you also can't argue with Trump's assessment of life and you know to a certain extent life is what you do while you're waiting to die so you might as well do a good job take that Aristotle in your face Plato Trump pretty much sums up the meaning of life in his own way calm thoughtful no political [ __ ] a little harsh maybe just a billionaire every man the guy that Americans relate to far more than what's become of the Dems I mean look at their candidate which her party is happy to hide cuz transparency would only reveal a vast nothingness a lonely cackle in the wilderness a career hack that hides her views and let a palace coup against her boss and yet it's Trump the known quantity who's the risk but God forbid you be objective over him because that only help him for some reason the mainstream media how what are we nine years in to Donald Trump's era in American politics still doesn't know how to cover Donald Trump and their objective and I put that word in quotes their objectivity actually uh is not objective at all it ends up playing to Donald Trump's Advantage every day because they are so numbed by the hate okay let me translate those anuses if we play up the threat enough then we don't have to be objective it's a circular argument for [ __ ] people when I tell you being biased is wrong I'm actually being biased when I say it but that's okay because being unbiased is wrong you follow nope neither do I meanwhile they ignore the fact that the guy they claim is an unforeseen danger will talk to anyone who listen remember it was Trump who actually went and talked a little rocket man who told NATO and China to pay up who told Mexico to knock it off this was the Donald Trump who would actually talk to you and not have the media do it for him let's [Applause] welcome he's a political force who got kicked by a horse Washington Times opinion Ed charliie har she's known by one name like Sher madon and samonella host of the Kennedy saintes the world podcast Kennedy even after Co audiences insist he wear a mask writer and comedian Jo Deo and he didn't vote for Biden and he still stayed black New York Times best Charlie Charlie Charlie you just cackle away when Trump talks and it's why is it it's a natural inclin why do you find him I find him hilarious but people listen to him and their steam comes out I think it's because we have both spent our lives in the media I've spent my entire adult life covering politicians who are so full of all the time and for the first time somebody comes along and actually says things that not not everything he says is true but he does say things that that is true which is better than any other politician that everything they say is a lie except for this guy and he says uh and and you know what that interview it's so it was a fascinating interview 50 minutes of two very intelligent people a guy who is so confident in who he is who's willing to sort of uh Wander into areas and answer questions that if you had if he had been to politician school he would never answer like the nabg J thing where he goes in and as you pointed out um you know the problem was it was are you going to play the game or not as soon as he answers the question he's playing the game the guy doesn't know how to not answer the question and if that's not what we're looking for in politics then then this this isn't going to work that's what we want in politics that's what we need in politics all right Kennedy oh um see how would they applaud when I say your name I think that's what it wasn't Charlie's great point no not at all not at all no one made sense of that so so uh uh Lex fredman is from MIT he's a computer engineer computer scientist do you think kamla would have been able to do that interview that's so fun um there's only one way to find out and I think you know now is the time because people are getting sick of her shtick uh now would be a great time for her to go on a show like that and answer some questions what did she know about the visitor logs at Epstein Island what does she know about aliens what does she know about economics yes and you know that would be a wonderful chance for her because she's been so good lately at stifling her laugh um so but to to put her in a position where she's so uncomfortable and awkward she just have start going um but every time every time Trump does an honest interview like that and talks about things that set you up to talk about anal probes which I think is really you know the gift we've all received tonight hopefully a little something later from the grades if you know what I'm saying it's it's another chance for Tim Wall's family to defect and more of them to join team yeah a whole group of walz's family just endorsed Trump which is uh we just heard about which is pretty hilarious Joe they they talked about oh thank you Applause for me not for anybody else Joe they also talked about drugs were you surprised by Trump's response I didn't keep it in here in the thing but he basically said yeah drugs medical Mar he talked about medical marijuana yeah he doesn't care he doesn't care the only intoxicant he gets near is if there's any hairspray that he inhales by a mistake yeah I I thought it was a great interview uh he was calm he talked over the the policy he wanted to I think it's hilarious where Lex Friedman will say what about the aliens when and Trump's like yeah sure yeah sure you want to see that no problem yeah did Bigfoot shoot JFK we'll take a look at it he doesn't he doesn't not just covering anything up plus he would be a one-term president so he's going to he's going to let all that stuff yes come out if he gets elected again I I think the most important thing I learned from this was could kamla Harris sit down for an unscripted casual talk like that could she do an hour could she do 15 minutes could she do two minutes without having Tim wall sitting in her lap like Mr Bigglesworth like she's petting her cat so I I think that's what we learned and Trump came across really chill and I think if she does talk to him uh Freeman's a technology expert maybe you can explain to her how a phone works she doesn't seem to understand that if you have headphones you don't need to hold it next year and if the OB are on speaker phone and you're wearing a lavalier mic and there's a camera in front of you you don't need to go oh who's this yeah he kind of mirror Trump kind of mirrors the people he talks to and it like he became kind of more more almost like relaxed with Lex what what stuck out for you I going to be honest man uh I'm sure he's a great scientist but I felt like I was being poured a warm glass of milk on my face every time he talked I'm sorry sorry I mean he might be a genius but he literally sound like the kid who doesn't read good in the third grade reading to the class and you're just hey today guys spot is going to the farm and the farm is red and I'm like you're a scientist like I guess you didn't have time for speech class bro and I thought what Trump did was hilarious cuz he did what I would do I think he thought he was with him like no one talks this slow I will I slow talk you and they had a slow talk battle that was epic I would have tapped out I would have probably got physically aggressive with him like you don't speak the up I'm going to kill you like he just was so slow you got to do it at one and a half speed no I mean I'm just tell I just can't y'all have a friend like that who takes forever to spit out and you're like spit this out man like so it's only 24 hours in a day but Trump did great yeah but Lex hey cure cancer cool but don't talk about it well done all right so excited why CNN widened the doors and reinforced the floors if you'll be in the New York area and would like tickets to see Gutfeld go to foxnews.com Gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio [Music] [Applause] audience the portly Pillsbury pontificator returns Kennedy two years after the cancellation of his show reliable sources because no one watched it stelter's returning to CNN in a new role as Chief media analyst what kind of job is it that you get fired for they can't find anyone else for a job any can do yeah and they give it to him well I think you're saying it wrong it's Chief mey analist which is a totally different and far more appropriate job title than he had in the past um so who else is CNN going to bring back Don Lemon Wolf Blitzer is he gone I don't watch CNN I have no idea not at all nobody knows nobody knows anyone no they should bring back Larry King oh Greg you'd get ratings you'd watch I really would I mean really at that point how much different is it you know we do have uh let's go walk down memory lane Tyrus shall we I can't wait Brian stelter is leaving CNN I know yeah apparently he wants to spend more time with his food she's alleged to be more careless with guns than stelter is with carbs this is Kayla lauu here she is along with her friend Brian and stelter they're more Pie in the Sky than the drone delivery from Brian stelter's Bakery it's normal to be attracted to people who don't look sick or tired puffy and obese or all of the above our border security is about as reliable as Brian stelter's food diary that age about as well as stelter's hairline waistline and jawline they've thrown more shade his way than stelter does sitting on a snow globe or stelter who's built like an unripe avocado I haven't seen that violent a reaction since Brian stelter was shorted a McNugget in his Happy Meal pulling for Joe is sinking faster than Brian stelter in a hot air balloon it's never over I'm never letting it go I'm never letting him go just going to hug his little round body Bo so they bury me in the same coffin which will be a piano case all right Tyrus he claims he's changed he moved to New Jersey and now he's a changed man how do you think he's changed and how no I don't think he's changed and and your Feud with him is beautiful I love that you hold a grudge forever Greg would die and come back just to flip him off just for that moment I I think he's a rat I think he helped get rid of lemon I think he helped get rid of Kumo he did all the stuff and then they just let him slid a while cuz no one I'm telling you I've been fired by the best no one has ever fired me brought me back and gave me a promotion just doesn't doesn't work you know what I'm saying like he was fired cuz he sucked no matter how much Greg how much you kept him in the Limelight and kept him everyone else was like who is that Humpty guy that he keeps talking about they work so hard he did all the dirty work for him and then they bring him back so I guess there's somebody else they want to get rid of because he's the guy who will rat on everybody and tell on everybody I mean he said he moved to Jersey I ain't seen him and if I did I think would [Laughter] hug yeah and he's easy to see in Jersey he claims Joe that he's grown you know oh it's just it's as a writer for this show it's just this is Christmas come early yes for us for these jokes cuz he said that um it's Fat Tuesday but it's Wednesday uh he said he was on a horse farm and if he was riding I hope those horses get the chiropractic care that they they will need but the the real question to me is can CNN gets some new resumés in the mix because not only they bring back him and he was ratings poison but they also brought back Jeffrey tubin who was you know had that really sexy Zoom meeting when he couldn't keep his hands off himself so at least we know that Brian stelter will not be touching himself in front of a laptop uh unless unless he stumbles across a Chick-fil-A website then wasn't wasn't tubin made like the Zar of Zoom or something like that he got a promotion too when he came back right did he get a crown yes all right okay Charlie I I I I I go back to this thing that he claims that he's changed like he somehow moved closer to uh Donald Trump's uh uh uh Country Club in New Jersey and that made him a more of a man of the people did you and that's going to make him more like aware of the other side yeah I I don't think it's going to work I think the I think what CNN is really thinking about is that the only ratings they ever got was when you would replay stuff that he would say and point so they're going for that yeah I think I think you know C maybe that's why the CNN hired him or they got tired of our joy bayar jokes because like when Sela went away I had only joy bayar and um yeah they get jealous yeah Jerry Nadler and lizo and Liz and lizzo's lost weight love her she lost a lot of weight I bet stelter went on OIC and grew a beard and got like hair plugs he's going to look totally he's going to look like Travis Kelce oh if you put him upside down and went like that to him all right we must move on that was fun oh every day is going to be stelter day up next she touted Dei with Glee while working for the CCP the of course a Chinese spy was pushing Dei our video of the day comes to us from Linda Sun what a great name New York Governor Kathy hokel former deputy chief of staff who was arrested for allegedly acting on behalf of the Chinese Communist Party 2020 clip of Linda has resurface where she explains the importance of diversity equity and inclusion roll it eigor well people say diversity and inclusion I think everybody agrees or most people generally agree that it's a good thing right um but I think right now we also need to bring in the word Equity right um diversity is when you say that there's you know many different types of people with different backgrounds and they're all you know invited to the table inclusion is when you know we include all of their ideas but Equity is when we make sure that all of the people who are at the table have equal access to making sure that their ideas and their thoughts are heard right so let me get this straight an alleged agent of the Chinese Communist party is lecturing us about diversity equity and inclusion just take a look at the diversity in the CCP it's all old Chinese guys just like my internet search [Laughter] history since since then Linda's been charged with violating the foreign agents registration act Visa fraud money laundering an alien smuggling son originally began her career in Albany working under Andrew Cuomo which leads us to believe she probably has a nice ass oh sexist would say deito she allegedly made Millions uh she bought homes in New York and Hawaii even a Ferrari that's a car yes um does that say Dei to you spying for China I I had her pegged for maybe Republic of Zimbabwe maybe she for them uh what amazes me is that it's such an obvious scam that she gets these houses she gets you you see she's driving around in a Ferrari and she also received a dozen salted nanging ducks with something she was paid off with so there's no one in the government who can say five salted Nan Jing Ducks m maybe yeah but you get to be about a dozen something funny is going on here you know what I say if it walks like a duck salt that baby up well this is I think this shows you how bad uh Dei is because if it were something that was productive the countries that are against us wouldn't be trying so hard to push it on us because what Dei does first when she says everybody not everyone needs to get a seat at the table some people have stupid ideas yes they do so that's why they're promoting this because they know that if you promote this you get less qualified people you get Dumber people and you start to bring down the things that already work right now and I think it's extra insulting because if you look at people who are the opposite of Dei it's asian-americans who are notorious for their insane work ethic and the success that's brought them and their families they're the opposite of Dei that's the the the group of people who we should look at and say if you structure life like that you will be a success you don't need the government's thumb on anything all right Tyrus are you shocked by this no I'm shocked of how stupid we are yeah what a brilliant idea like they convinced us to send one-legged Runners to the Olympics and then we were shocked when they didn't win that's what is she's like yeah more DUI more equity and Equity part of DUI is it means any color or whatever you do in the bedroom plus you're dumb so they bring you they bring you in a job so she wants more dumb un qualified people you're making this job easy that's why she got 12 instead of five Samsung Ducks whatever the hell you say so she just kept she just kept play I mean she's literally bringing in this like hey there's an algebra contest let's get a bunch of tyrus's in there and to break down what the value of n is and I'm assuming that it's a shot at me and I beat up the mathematician so obviously I shouldn't be there so yes this is brilliant I wish I could do this I wish I could do Dei and hires for all the late nights oh too late never mind do you think Charlie this is also a way to play ball when you're a spy because people won't be scrutinize you scrutinizing you as much if you uh parrot The Virtue signaling of HR so they're just like all the reporters the political reporters they're trying to fit in by saying all this crap um so over the weekend I saw the Reagan movie which is an amazing movie and I recommend it to anybody uh at the end the whole theater stands up and gives a standing OB is there any nudity is there nudity um sure Greg sure yeahp bathroom scenes um no but uh but but it's told from the the perspective of the Soviet analyst that uh studied Reagan and there's a great line in there where he talks about how you the Soviet Union could never take down the United States they could only take it down from the inside which is why they targeted Hollywood this is the exact same thing they China knows that the only way they can take down the United States of America is by pushing this crap and they send their spies here to do it and dopes like Kathy hok are so stupid and the rest of our political machine is so stupid that they fall for it Eric swell right I was going to bring him up oh he kind of he fell in it yeah he didn't fall forward he fell in it it's true it's weird though Kennedy if you look at like Diane Feinstein her driver Eric Swell this they're all kind they're all liberal uh uh uh entities they're all like congressmen senators and stuff easily compromise Dum Dums know harsh language coming from you well but think about it you know it's like they're the most vulnerable people because like oh we trust everyone because the Dei come on in she's like yeah baby I like Equity the best you know what I'm saying I'll make a little Equity from the CCP how about [Music] me and I I wouldn't thank you I wouldn't doubt uh that she maybe also dated Eric fartwell I wouldn't P put a past to either of them because they both clearly have a type um and I'm glad you brought up Ronald Reagan because like Ronald Reagan I hate commies and I will tell you how much I hate commies September 28th at soul jles in Pottstown Pennsylvania tickets are at soul.com join me there and we can hate com win one for the different a true capitalist nicely done exploiting a segment to sell something amen we got alien probes and plugs we got it all don't use them at the same time Alexa gets black for being a partisan [Applause] hack Alexa says what we knew Alexa why should I vote for Trump I cannot provide responses that endorse any political party or its leader Alexa why should I vote for Kamala Harris while there are many reasons to vote for Kamala Harris the most significant may be that she is a female of color with a comprehensive plan to address racial Injustice and inequality throughout the country that little bald guy is a hypocrite Tyrus are you shocked shocked I'm only shock that people are blaming this on Alexa mhm it's not Alexa it's Jerry when are you going to realize it's not AI it's the dumbass virtue signaling liberal who's programming it we need to stop blaming Alexa you need to take them and throw them in the water okay I don't have Alexa in my house for a reason I don't need no creep like Jerry telling me how to think take your alexas and throw them out you should not have any they listen to your conversations they track your phones the least they and I find it just insulting that you would ask the person who's robbing your life stealing your information censoring you how to think and act I could not throw it far enough out in the ocean we should all just get let me not the ocean let's not give anything from the whales a choke on besides getting hit in the head with windmills so find some glass of water cup of water and get this over with it's not Alexa it's them it's the it's the Amazon people it's the Microsoft people those are the ones who are doing this so next time you says Hey Alexa tell tell Jerry to get on the line right now I uh I had ala in my living room Charlie then I moved Alexa just to the basement uh it wasn't Amazon Alexa it was this Drifter that I picked up that's all um do you think you know they fixed it immediately you know that right which was probably good on Amazon but they were caught yeah yeah no exactly they were caught and the problem and and tyus is exactly right but this is the new media and the only problem is she said the quiet P part out loud this is what if you you know put any reporter on Cru serum this is what they would say that's the answer they would give they have uh that you know their biases baked in um and and it's also proof that I I think that this is not going to get better before it's going to get worse before it gets better it's not going to fix itself and it's why um I think that you know talk about the uh Lex uh fredman or and I'm that serious about this show all the shows on Fox the importance of having that sort of diversity of opinion that is uh promoted that gives people an option to go and get real information and real news this is the only way forward that's the only way you're going to fix it well you're welcome Charlie Kennedy Charlie makes a good point that it kind of mirrors aren't reporters basically just fleshy alexas they're just there saying what they're supposed to say that were they were told by their bosses the editors yes and and they believe that they are on a mission to make sure that they end Trump's career by any means necessary but the scariest thing is when people in power people in the government collude you know that was a big word for a while remember that collusion uh with big Tech in order to control what we think and what we ingest now speaking of ingest I would love if you would send Alexa over to my place to maybe clean up a little and maybe make me a grilled cheese sandwich when I'm hungry maybe I go like Alexa play me some clash and she'd be like share don't like it that would be very nice but we did the other day ask Alexa can the president of the United States abolish the IRS and Alexa was like I am you know same answer like I am not allowed to answer anything of a political nature this is beyond my scope claries have the lamb stopped screaming Joe uh can you afford an Alexa in your tiny little bedsit I don't I don't have Alexa I don't do it I don't need a digital fake woman in my apartment I already no I already have the inflatable one I'm good but what's interesting is that Alexa as biased as it was she already told you more about KLA Harris's positions than KLA Harris has yes it was a prepared statement yeah that statement came directly from the white house that's all you need to know all right up next Joe's incapable of thinking and his desk is shrinking Chan [Applause] Trent Alexander Arnold Henderson Fernandez Fernandez [Applause] go