holy [ __ ] poop turd bro DJ ukabi they're giving this guy a hard [ __ ] time man I feel bad for him DJ ulele grew up in Hawaii Sally sold seashells down by the seashore and uh his little sister real [ __ ] skank she grew up to be a skank instead of seashells she [ __ ] uh sea cells uh turned into white sand in a little [ __ ] Saran Wrap baggie didn't it Sally huh what he selling now crack rock um poor kid should have stayed at Oregon State I feel bad um that he has to try to come to America and blend in as a black person and um and that I wish again I wish they would cut these [ __ ] nil deal players just like the NFL fire them and [ __ ] send him to send him out to Dearborn Michigan and he could pretend to be from Baghdad and he can play [ __ ] uh with jonath Jonathan Smith Michigan State he knew what to do with them put him in the [ __ ] ey formation uh the [ __ ] the shotgun [ __ ] pistol punt formation if he's in the eye formation you take the snap Chris winky play action pass and all you do is throw a post to Snoop Menace if he's in the pistol you just basically ride the back drop back and throw a [ __ ] poster Peter war or you just put him in the punt formation and have him throw uh [ __ ] uh comebacks to lus kls I just gave you three Florida State receivers there um he's he's not doing as uh I mean him and and Dylan Gabriel they'll both have day jobs Hawai and Mark Brunell um up at Oregon who went 40 of 46 um Dylan Gabriel um look at this [ __ ] guy malnourished neonatal care um premature baby face um playing decent um but all he does is go to your school and sing your fight song and then he [ __ ] leaves and he uh he [ __ ] off and then he goes to another school memorizes lyrics to their fight song and uh stays healthy enough just to [ __ ] uh break his leg in the middle of the Season or twist his ankle or uh every stop has had some some random [ __ ] collar bone injury um but he's accurate if you can get a left-handed quarterback that can [ __ ] spin it um then you're in it to win it uh started at UCF um and they brought in Gus Malon and Gus Malon he basically uh um he makes every [ __ ] quarterback watch that M Mustang documentary on [ __ ] Netflix Mitch Mustang documentary Netflix I'm going to go fix my washer but it's the stupidest [ __ ] documentary I've ever seen what's [ __ ] Mitch Mustang doing [ __ ] nothing um he [ __ ] might as well have the same career as Chris Beno uh at least he'll go down as a a celebrity wrestler his wife got too mad at him one day look at Chris benoa M his wife was micromanaging uh how to make the kids lunch and he [ __ ] lunched at her um this is them right after he brought her to a pizza buffet um and she and and uh she started she picked up one of his slices off the plate and started eating it and he said what the [ __ ] do you think you're doing [ __ ] and she [ __ ] punched him in the face and got a black eye and he started wrestling his wife in the middle of the restaurant and he got up on the table and he [ __ ] uh and he he took a pizza box because he was famous for the chair slam he took a pizza box and he smashed it over her [ __ ] skull um and then he took the little pizza Circle um pizza box Circle he took that little pizza box Circle and he's [ __ ] He's pushing in your [ __ ] ey [ __ ] the [ __ ] pizza box plastic thing he [ __ ] he [ __ ] bushing it her [ __ ] I'm going to remove your [ __ ] eyeball your eyes you [ __ ] [ __ ] turn your [ __ ] eye into a [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] um I uh I actually Lose My Breath there actually um we're freezing here for a second so we'll see we'll see if we bring it back here um a lot of people Tik Tok took my dog Mur video down um just fake she's sleeping on the couch uh right now love you Ursula um Chris Beno testosterone straight to the [ __ ] Temple just injected right into his face just coarsed through his veins down into his body um and uh he just had the he [ __ ] um he squeeze his nuts as hard as he could and and [ __ ] uh little Seamon would come out under a spoon and and he would he would drink his own [ __ ] semen it was like he it was a protein bomb from his penis he was just all about hardboiled eggs he'd pop them in his mouth like a snake um crush him down with his teeth that's how he lost one right there from crunching eggshells um the world lost the great husband to a wife I mean it you know when she came home she saw him crying uh left she as soon as she pulled the car in and uh she should have called before she entered the house and and heard that he was crying and and uh and just you know um and left and she would still be here she'd still be alive the the problem that we have is uh and I think I tweeted this nobody follows me on Twitter I don't know why I'm the best am the best tweeter of all time I forgive Chris Ben humans or animals the whole eaty family thing happens all the time in the jungle he just had a bad day and his wife tried to micromanage him on the kids lunchbox now they're not alive happens all the time folks um so Chris benoa uh look at him right there he uh he he just to prove his point he pressed his thumb here in this pitcher into his throat as hard as he could and he poked a hole in it and he [ __ ] uh and Chris walked around with a cigarette boy he thought it made him give them better mic skills made him sound tougher look at him right here God that's sad I hope he didn't [ __ ] hug him to death um poor kids uh I mean this is just a straight up 1990s [ __ ] domestic violence I mean this is this should be the cover of an album I mean this is this is the the picture of a this is error right here you know like Taylor Swift would say like I'm in my this is in the um I could used to be able to punch my face and people wouldn't call the police [ __ ] eror right here in the 90s leather jacket um look at this right here just just pet trying to she goes and gets a cold pack of peas and and puts it on his ey socket was this is this just does he just constantly have pictures of him with black ey is standing next to women um that he got in fights with I I don't know I just know it's a hard life to be a wrestler and so I it looks like he was a winner um before he killed his wife um right before he died he slid this belt around his waist and uh and he kind of and he and he laid on top of his wife like he pinned her so he actually before he before he uh went to go burn in hell he Mak sure that he won the belt he wanted to go to hell with his World Wrestling Federation belt on so when he got down there all the ghosts and the ghouls and the goblins and all the girls that went to H knew you know um Papa's Got a Brand New Bag he's gonna [ __ ] beat their ass he's going to be the World Wrestling Federation championship of of uh the Intercontinental Champion of uh the EC which is what hell is is the ECW I don't know if you've ever seen that wrestlers when they die people when they get when they die they go to different their own different versions of hell and this is basically where the wrestlers go to burn in hell they go to the [ __ ] ECW nobody watches them they uh it's like uh it's they basically have to beat each other up in the same places that they put on Broadway shows and and uh and the fans are right on top of them and they throw soda cans at them and and uh [ __ ] knives and they and they [ __ ] can shoot air guns and stuff and they just have to [ __ ] take it it's just a no holds bar uh [ __ ] brawl and beat down um I don't know if you've ever watched this but it's like it's like the it's it's [ __ ] sick I mean you're getting slammed on the thumb tacks just getting your [ __ ] ass beat um it's rough and uh this is where wrestlers when they die they go to live forever uh ECW Chris benois is in there right now and every single day he has to fight a new woman he's fighting alien waros tomorrow I don't know if you guys know that um the female Ser serial killer a alien waros he's got a big match against her he's gonna beat the [ __ ] out of that [ __ ] who else are like uh women serial killers um he's gonna he's gonna whoop uh not Casey Anthony she's still here I think she works at a CVS or something now she's got a she's got a nice uh she's got a career going as an admin assistant of a um let's see here John Cena he doesn't want children he should get with Casey Anthony and they can talk about how much they hate kids together um Chris benah he um he he whooped Carla hok's uh ass the other day it was a uh it was a cage match right here um he crushed her uh through the announcer table um and he said your stupid [ __ ] boyfriend used to kill [ __ ] with isn't here to help you is he and she started [ __ ] crying um and she's like I'm still alive and Chris benw he's actually the Freddy cougar of of dead wrestlers and she is still alive and she lives in Canada somewhere and I think she's actually is that she had a prison Carla Carla um Carla Hoka I think she yeah she's still alive yeah she lives in the Quebec area she [ __ ] uh literally not kidding you they would like [ __ ] film VHS smut tapes of of her husband having sex and they would slit women's throats and now she's just like [ __ ] living in Quebec you know questioning her her decision because now every time she goes to get a job they Google search her name and they they're like wow you used to do murderous gang bangs that's [ __ ] crazy I don't think you're gonna get this job um so she just lives off welfare now um but anyway she was sleeping in the bed and and the water bed started punching and it was Chris bened ju and he's like [ __ ] I can't wait for you to get down here I'm gonna beat your ass and so any woman who does something bad on earth when they get to hell when they go to burn in hell they have to [ __ ] fight Chris benois and he's just waiting down there like the [ __ ] he's just waiting down there in hell to just beat the [ __ ] out of women who do bad [ __ ] that's [ __ ] hilarious um but anyways uh who else um let's see uh Ryan tanel he's not doing anything he didn't get signed he didn't get picked up on any [ __ ] team he's just a he's a free agent look at this face um just the face of someone who forgets things a lot because he just doesn't care um let's see here Ryan tanah Helen is white Ryan tanah Hill's dog let's see Ryan tanah Hill's dog yeah there's a picture of him with old with old spot there um he actually has a dog charity he goes to he goes to local SPCA and he dresses up like a doctor for a day and he does um neuterings and he removes the uteruses of dogs and then whatever dog he removes their uterus he he um takes a picture of their face and he wears it at a press conference um let me see here fun we'll come back to Ryan Tano my wife asked me what the name of her fantasy football team should be fantasy football team name let's see here um we are never ever getting dacked together she might like that because of Taylor Swift ever getting deck together um just the twoa US I'm just U um my boyfriend's I this is hook yeah um the sweet Dell of success I got the um did you see Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift their fake love contract Travis Kelce Taylor Swift fake love contract um supposedly they're breaking up on September 28th the day that that Tua goes to prison I mean Trump um DJ ugab bedoui is playing so bad that FEMA might start rounding up Hawaiian people pretending to be blacks in this country just like ice with the Hispanic people they might they might send they might have to go into he might have to go into a football FEMA camp DJ I told you they're going to scan his face and they're going to match it to someone else's face that didn't do good in football and they're going to start to synchronize the souls and the [ __ ] uh and the skin color and all the schematics of the of the of the human skin and they're gonna and they're gonna uh kind of codify by color and by career and then they're going to start to create these um kind of clones of the people who had successful careers and then they're going to download the souls into those clones and then the people that struggled um they're not going to get a clone and then they're just going to die from their day job getting mesophila from exposure to Expos and they're going to uh just go to your traditional morg and become a cadaver and get turned into Wendy's hamburger meat and fed to the clones and the people who live forever civilization see part of our uh part of the restaurant industry and the fast food industry and the inventory of of filling you know McDonald's saying like a million a billion Burger served every day is is the expectation that people will uh die and they'll go away and and some of them are going to stay here forever and they're getting scared um how are we going to stuff you know how are we going to make suffer for all these um you know for all these people who are going to live forever because of uh their souls being turned into Wi-Fi and downloaded into mannequin dummies from the mall um and then do mannequin dummies even eat are the people made of plastic what do what do plastic people eat um and kind of what you um would expect um let's see here algae eats plastic did you see this algae in the ocean eating plastic micro algae contribute to the biodegration of plastic weight with its enzymes that weaken the chemical bonds of the plastic polymers so um instead of wasting land with funeral homes and the old school way of burying people on the ground we're just going to start throwing dead bodies into the and all the PE all the women that have plastic surgeries they have um boob implants and Botox and bbls and all the people that are you know we talk a lot about trans people right we talk a lot about like uh um you know men turning into women but what's happening is people are slowly transitioning into plastic into into kind of moms that have the same bodies as M mannequins and so if they're going to [ __ ] die they can't put that plastic into the Earth for the you know and then because the trees they're going to [ __ ] get cancer and stuff from eating all the plastic because when you die the plants eat you and so the plants are going to get sick from the plastic and then the plants aren't going to grow and then they're not going to be able to release oxygen and then people aren't going to be able to breathe and and so basically they're going to have to start throwing these plastic people into the ocean um and you're going to just see dead bodies floating around in the ocean they're plastic so they might float FL but eventually they'll break down because the microalgae um actually contributes to the biodegration of the plastic um BBL waste and the Botox and the boobs and so you uh you know the hot sun of the ocean might be the next Holocaust um and you could you might be now hopefully these bodies don't wash up on the beach they're going to have to put a buoy out there with a big net to hopefully uh keep the like when the body gets close to the it stops them and then the bodies just kind of float and smack against the wall and then obviously sharks and um we'll start eating uh the plastic and and getting uh what you know when I was a kid tiger sharks they just had license plates and stuff in their belly and now they're going to have uh silicone bags and and uh who I who knows what Botox is going to do to a [ __ ] shark body um uh and they start eating it and they just start developing tougher and tougher skin until the Sharks uh skin turns into into metal and they swim around the ocean like missiles and then we can't [ __ ] kill sharks because they they've been uh suffering on so much [ __ ] uh plastic waste that they're like super sharks now they're like nuclear [ __ ] power plant sharks and the [ __ ] and the the mommy mannequin bodies that we threw in the ocean are just [ __ ] all next thing you know we have megalodons um they've never had so much [ __ ] food in their life we made the ocean a FEMA camp they're just eating people left and right and they just have a taste for human blood and they sharks are just getting bigger and fatter because they they barely eat right now a shark I I learned this about alligators is that they eat like one time a year I don't know if you guys know this alligators eat um once a year um they receive most of their food once a year through a huge wild beast migration like they don't eat every day like you think like an alligator every day wakes up um in fact the average oh never mind they eat 50 full meals a year that's what they say the crocodiles okay so they eat [ __ ] 50 days out of 300 65 days so 315 days they don't [ __ ] have to eat um and large crocodiles can go over a year without eating because they just shut down and live off their own tissue they and they actually die because they stop eating and they basically eat themselves um but that's but you know that's what I'm saying here is we're not going to have to worry about it I you know it's um we don't have to dig ditches or anything I one day you'll see on the news Colonials American Colonials from our country someone's going over to Africa and they're just going to start throwing people on rivers and they're just gonna and down the waterways and and they're GNA [ __ ] uh it's going to get bad and and that's how they're going to take over the country is they're going to feed all their people to Crocs um that's what the Americans are doing now with the Rio Grande they're just filling it with Crocs and they're just having them eat people so animals are nature's natural garbage disposal um that's you know Ted Bundy serial killer you leave a dead body in the woods their bodies would break down and into and the animals and the squirrels and would eat the women um and the cops really can't find anything um except for you know a necklace or even a pair of panties or something well they would be like H Let's test these I'm sure Ted put them in his mouth um let's see here uh let's go back to Ryan tanel um this guy right here [ __ ] Ryan tanel um huge huge Christian he owns uh several Church franchises and he doesn't go to church on Sunday he just drives around and checks on them and makes sure people are going and donating um and he and he [ __ ] couple of you know he's screams at the CEO CEO he has of the church franchises why isn't there more cash in here I don't want credit I don't want cash app I want more [ __ ] cash in here you [ __ ] [ __ ] and he's yelling at her fill this basket with [ __ ] cash you [ __ ] [ __ ] and he throws it at her and he's like either that or next time I come fill it with [ __ ] popcorn somebody's got to [ __ ] feed me and my [ __ ] family I'm not in football anymore and the and the ladies just God damn it and uh and he just [ __ ] uh Ryan tanah um sweet kid um completely ruined uh what's his name who's the wide receiver from Atlanta I [ __ ] ruined his whole life he went to go play with Ryan Tan he couldn't [ __ ] get your [ __ ] pass who's the famous Atlanta Falcons yeah this [ __ ] um Julio Jones Julio Jones and Ryan DaNell um when Julio Jones came to the Titans he said come here real quick I want to taste and Ryan gave him a hug and popped this little finger in Julio's butt and put it in his mouth and he's like uh I don't know kind of smells like you're going to have a bad season um didn't do good there because Ryan tanah Hill he was he's he's one of the first uh reverse race uh white kids that played wide receiver that went and tried to play quarterback um but he's really just a wide receiver he's the OG uh Matt Jones from Arkansas if he actually would have went and tried to play quarterback in the NFL um this guy was a beast you don't know about him he's 6' s uh he used to play in water shoes um he would he played football in sandals he would wear rainbow sandals and run he'd be in the pocket running around with rainbow sandals on he could run full speed um I think they caught him doing yeah here they caught him I think doing coke or something in his car which I love cocaine so I'm not I'm not mad at you it's it you know people are like oh you're not sober you're on cocaine it's like no I'm super sober actually I'm like super focused and sober I'm actually like out of all the drugs I could do this is probably the smartest one I could do because I'm super sober and serious and I want to have serious conversations and do serious stuff in this [ __ ] world and they're like whoa whoa calm down you're on coke and he's like how do you want me to [ __ ] be drunk and they're like yeah do that you'll fit in better um and I don't want diarrhea that's all being drunk does you just wake up and you just splatter [ __ ] turds on the toilet um look at this [ __ ] right here holy [ __ ] talk about [ __ ] uh blood spots on a [ __ ] shag rug I mean what he look I mean this guy this is I guess he this is Gardener minu this is where he got he stole his [ __ ] idea um his character a lot of people don't don't don't realize that like in wrestling you got to be careful because they're always stealing characters from each other um that's all Gardener menu is doing is he's he's playing a [ __ ] character it's not real he just [ __ ] look at this face right here girl up grow up buddy what you Ricky Bobby's [ __ ] dad I mean grow the [ __ ] up look at this [ __ ] face this is why this is why he kind of you know is not fulfilling his potential is because he's got this mustache on it it makes him feel weird he got this got the Johnny Depp disorder where they kind of have they weird their the weird pirate face hair and uh like this is It's you can't wear this mustache I mean you can I get it but you always have to like you're always the butt of a joke if you have this mustache on and then you're playing bad and somebody a coach or something says just say shave the stupid mustache off your face it's [ __ ] your soul up it's it's hurting your soul um sure um um I mean this was him I mean look at this look at this walk-on quarterback at East Carolina he's got the [ __ ] uh mouthpiece on that wraps around the helmet I mean this this right here screams like uh you know I need a new Avatar as an athlete I mean right here you're just looking at them you're like uh what did your parents raise you to be an [ __ ] I mean I can't can't even comprehend this [ __ ] dog [ __ ] [ __ ] uh look at these mechanics I mean this is this is a below average high school quarterback I wouldn't be surprised if he ran like a wang t or something um but he went to East Carolina and somehow he's just here faking his way through football with fake characters and he's doing the if I smile a lot I'll stay it's a good lesson for people out there if you smile a lot you'll stay in your job you won't have to [ __ ] uh you won't get fired if you don't have a a frown on your face if you smile you'll stay a while if you frown you're gonna go down um I mean but he doesn't have kids he doesn't have a wife um he can act kind of you know frumpy and fun all he [ __ ] wants he's not a father is a [ __ ] that's the way I look at it um this is rough I mean Jesus Christ I mean Adam and Eve did not intend to [ __ ] have a baby that grew up to be this [ __ ] basic I mean [ __ ] me bro I mean uh if it was the Bible the little snake the serpent would have just bit him and then tried to [ __ ] and then swallowed his body and got him out of the story I mean that's rough man um you know DJ ugab boui is a lot like Joe flacko you just that's what he did with the Ravens they put him in the punt form and they told him to throw the pass far um all he does is throw deep Joe Flaco can't throw any other route he can't throw a stop or a slant or anything short he can literally only go deep um and that's what you have to do with with DJ ulele he can't be under Center he can't be [ __ ] uh doing all these reverse takes and then throwing to a slow white tight end he's got to [ __ ] um I mean they should they should just put him put him in tight you know I played with a guy Marcus Stone and he struggled uh kind of he would look sharp in practice I mean he'd look like a killer he'd throw [ __ ] great pacct passes in practice and he just [ __ ] uh couldn't couldn't do it in a game and they put him at tight end he ended up being a beast I mean go to the Redskins and play tight end like the [ __ ] Logan Thomas from Virginia Tech um uh or put him at defensive end see if he can play defense but I I would laugh if he got [ __ ] ran over on the first [ __ ] snap if he tried to tackle somebody and they just destroyed him at defensive end I don't think it would get any worse than that I don't know how how much more downhill it could get Dr Pepper actually is wants to do a deal where he deletes his social media accounts and pretends they didn't pay him um but this is the downfall of Clemson this is where it started with Trevor Lawrence he started losing I don't know if you remember this I think it was to Joe burrow and LSU he started losing with Trevor Lawrence he won that fake national title and then he started losing and left right before people found out he's the reason the foot Clemson football program sucks then they brought in DJ on a down team and they thought he was going to be like DeShawn Watson or Taj boy who was really created Clemson Trevor Lawrence turned Clemson into a [ __ ] Chick-fil-A and uh with it with dbo and then they brought DJ in and he it's not a and he should be working at wack Arnolds um you know um he's too he's too diverse he can't comprehend the Caucasian that's a big problem in our country as foreign people and a lot of people don't talk about it is they come into our country and they can't communicate they can't they they're too foreign they can't comprehend Caucasians who are just cocky and ignorant and basically just [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] human beings like we just don't care we don't we compartmentalize we don't have compassion or empathy or any of that [ __ ] and they come in here and they're they're foreign and they're used to [ __ ] um they're used to using their like uh they have to trans translate everything twice so you say something it has to go in their head they have to translate it before they can say it back a lot of people don't realize that when you talk to a foreign person um you have to you're telling them and talking to them twice and then they can talk back um and he didn't know what to do I mean he came over here to America it's no different than coming to from Africa coming from Hawaii and he he I mean he he might as well be like a [ __ ] how are you I don't even know how you're born in Hawaii could you he's born like isolated on an island I mean it's it's crazy to me um and he didn't get any of that Caribbean Russell Wilson Luck um that you know what I'm saying um he's the only quarterback in the end racism movement where they they literally want to end uh like it ends with him like they're like okay we can be racist to him I he uh you know poor kid got that tattoo on his throwing arm tital X wants it back and they're hoping it's a henna um yeah Carson Palmer when he was at USC they put couldn't read the field got to get to your fifth read and uh they put him in the I formation play action pass or a comeback um he just that's what they need to do I mean he's big he's strong but he's you know dumb and slow he's body dysmorphia probably 63 in elementary school and uh [ __ ] uh you know all the kids who call him fat and laugh at them it's there's no student section in Little League so they they couldn't see him play or anything just had to hear about it from the [ __ ] parents and stuff and but all the kids probably thought he was fat and slow and saw him eating pineapple pizza and like it's disgusting DJ eats pineapple pizza for dinner and um so he had to deal with that his whole life when they're big like this there's not enough water to fill the body so he's his brain is half filled with [ __ ] water and that's why and a lot of air up there there left um he's got a bird flying around there's a whole beach scene in the top of his head and to [ __ ] pack a bunch of sand in there and put his skull back on um and he's got I mean how many what would Jesus do bracelets that does he have to have on to realize Jesus wouldn't do what he's doing I um poor kid I see a lot of people on the internet [ __ ] saying that Zach Wilson is my he's third string so I I don't know why they're saying he's doing better um he's not um he'll be out of the league within a season or two he'll go in for the Broncos this year bone necks will get hurt because they come out of college and they're silly and they have osteoporosis and holes in their bones and they and they get hit and uh they they basically pour cement into the mouth of rookie quarterbacks and they're like you know fill enamel and cavities and uh and they [ __ ] uh what time is and they try to fill up the poorest bones in their body um and that at at 340 okay um and they try to fill up the porest bones in the body and so that way they can kind of you know they got to reset the foundation of the house um so he doesn't [ __ ] die and so he's going to get hurt or something halfway through the season um Zach Wilson will come in and he'll throw like a couple picks or and [ __ ] ruin it and that'll be the [ __ ] uh that'll be the final and then they'll just take him back back into the locker room and they'll stab him in the heart with a [ __ ] Stak and his body will set on fire and he'll [ __ ] uh turn into Ash and then the janitor will vacuum him up um he's kind of always been a fake quarterback um I mean it's not bad I mean look he's got the right idea you know the throwing motion isn't the worst um I don't like this off hand right here it's kind of goofy um but you know you play a BYU you're probably not that good to be honest with you um so brain dead pick I mean don't you you want to win don't go to [ __ ] Utah even uh which uh could be wrong who's the old mess kid um yeah this [ __ ] kid Jackson Dart um uh he looks like you know he looks like a Vibe um got that [ __ ] little Sandy [ __ ] beach stash I mean right there look at that he looks like a [ __ ] quarterback from a [ __ ] uh Teen Movie um and I guess he scored six touchdowns not doing that bad um Jackson Dart uh I actually uh Jackson dart at USC I remember seeing him when he first came in for USC and he came in and [ __ ] kind of tore it up I mean USC should be kind of upset that he that he left they did get Caleb but Caleb didn't do anything he didn't win him a championship and and uh I mean what is Caleb gonna claim he's from USC and he's better than Matt leinard or Carson Palmer he didn't [ __ ] do anything there um but he came in uh yeah for this [ __ ] [ __ ] kadon slovis and he came in and he threw four touchdowns and I think uh Keon got benched and he had to go to pit and then he went to BYU and I think he's um [ __ ] back at his mom's house or something and he's digging a hole underneath the [ __ ] house and he's and he's trying to build himself a basement and he's gonna [ __ ] uh live in a bomb shelter for the rest of his life away from society so he doesn't have to see what their people on social media saying how bad he sucks [ __ ] um but yeah I mean he look he's got this he's got like a thing he's got like a thing going you know the American bandana look at him with the sword you should have took this sword right here and just stabbed it through a [ __ ] USC fan right through its body and then his body turns to [ __ ] concrete and he [ __ ] and the only and then they leave them there next quarterback to win a championship is the only way he can pull the sword out and release the fan soul and turn them back into saliva and and [ __ ] human meat again and as soon as he does that um his body just Decay is struggling to breathe the California air that gives you cancer and it just wilts away like a [ __ ] like a a dried out plant and the person passes on to Heaven um that could be a whole Tick Tock um look at this [ __ ] guy's got a [ __ ] Puka shell neck I mean look at this [ __ ] guy Jesus [ __ ] Christ on the [ __ ] cross no doubt Boogie border I mean this [ __ ] guy uh [ __ ] just just don't get in the fent in all please don't [ __ ] get into [ __ ] uh I mean look at this you gotta go down Brody I mean this [ __ ] Point Break with the [ __ ] pass right here I mean I'm not I I don't mind it we'll see what he does I mean he definitely has the [ __ ] look he kind of looks like Matt Stafford he kind of looks you know what I'm saying he's kind of got like a Matt Stafford vibe to him and he slings The Rock he's a little crazy keep an eye on him he could end up being a first round pick he's got a little body on him he's got to beat somebody though he's got to beat Alabama or LSU or something he's got you can't just [ __ ] uh can't just win and expect to wander on but he could be uh I don't know maybe he'll take advantage of his opportunities and I mean look at him yeah he could be cast in a movie he's got celebrity qualities he's got a little star power in his in his smile um so hopefully he doesn't have to hang himself like jebin Sneed in the sixth round go to the Bucks and then blame it on CTE I hope that doesn't [ __ ] happen to him but oh [ __ ] Russell Wilson um he's going down got his first start and we'll see how he does 26 and eight I let's let's look at his stats I'm telling you right now um you guys are acting like little [ __ ] about Russell um but he might be what the Steelers need let's look at these stats real quick 330 touchdown 43,000 yards let's look at the stats of the Broncos I mean look at him bro he's never technically Had a Bad season in 11 years I mean every single season he has double or triple or quadruple touchdowns compared to interceptions except for maybe 2022 but even last year 26 and 8 98% rate ing 3,000 yards passing that's a that's just a straight up Pro statline I mean that's just a pro stat line so you they might go to the playoffs with him if the if the social media Scouts would just leave him alone I me he's a black kid aren't you supposed to [ __ ] like him [ __ ] Jesus Christ um I mean that's a that's not bad Kurt Cousins stats you know a lot of people are down on him uh he did get his Achilles Last year but it's kind of uh you know he started out slow here when he was when he was trying to end racism with RG3 and and uh the NFL was like finally a [ __ ] decent black guy and they [ __ ] were doing everything they can there was so much white oppression and [ __ ] white is whack and uh and we won black and just all this stuff and then he fought through it a little bit and then now I mean he's just been on a tear I mean you look at every season is every season is [ __ ] uh 30 touchdowns 10 picks I mean every season is 30 touchdowns 10 picks they expect that with the with the with the Falcons and they might have a decent um they might have a decent football team here um I don't mind M Kur cousins the [ __ ] uh I mean he's he's here to finish what he is he is himler I mean he is here to finish with Hitler if somebody the sound on this [ __ ] I'm trying to shut my [ __ ] phone off um God damn it it's it's [ __ ] annoying I'm gonna turn these [ __ ] sounds off this [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] sound off [ __ ] [ __ ] um I mean Kurt Cousins I mean his wife's boobies um does she have any boobies on her um I don't know she kind of I don't know I bet she has a bald butt I bet he comes home and that his wife's all waxed up and he [ __ ] gets a sniff of it and it smells like sugar I could totally see that um I mean she got a big mouth right got a Julia Roberts face perfect Julia Roberts face to jizz on I thought I just turned [ __ ] sound Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Jesus [ __ ] I'm gonna hide alerts [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] don't Crisp And while your family okay if your career's not doing good he he's installing Church franchises too just like Ryan Tan they go around town they sit up [ __ ] churches and they get people to give them cash um look at this [ __ ] goofball [ __ ] Hey Arnold back here used to [ __ ] bully and belittle him at NC State [ __ ] uh Breeze [ __ ] 100 miles his breath sounds like a [ __ ] wind tunnel he got mad at his wife and um picked this dog up and he just threw it over the [ __ ] patio and it landed and a car hit it I I don't know if that happened but um Justin Fields look how let's see how sad Justin Fields is I gotta piss bro I'll be right back I gotta piss look at just look at his resting [ __ ] face damn it's raining outside I just [ __ ] love pissing in the backyard bro I like peeing outside like a [ __ ] dog I pee on trees and [ __ ] then my dogs go pee on the trees after me um and we kind of try to just set the tone on each other using our urine um but he's not starting and so uh but he he's [ __ ] taking pictures of his skinny body and he wonders why he's not starting it's because you [ __ ] uh you're selfish and you have abs you're spending too much time on your stomach that's why you're not starting you [ __ ] F [ __ ] you got to be a big boy big old fat boy big old belly somebody had commented on my poster like imagine having hyper two [ __ ] attention or attention or whatever I'm like imagine not you [ __ ] [ __ ] you just sound like a [ __ ] skinny person with a [ __ ] small dick what do you think the fat does it just [ __ ] makes your [ __ ] wider and thicker and fatter and juicier and it's just like uh it's like shoving a fist in a [ __ ] [ __ ] a fat [ __ ] penis fist um but yeah I mean little doooo butt here um yeah I mean look at this [ __ ] look at him he looks like a he looks like a Dennis dickon doing bad I mean he's done I mean when you start wearing the number two and you're the number two for the Steelers and I mean he's just cash this is just I'm a cash quarterback outfit right here um you know this they're trying to like all these black quarterbacks they're trying to make the [ __ ] uh they're trying to dress like they're [ __ ] starting the arena league or something um let me show you what a real quarterback looks like okay let me show you what a real quarterback looks like Chris Chandler on his [ __ ] knees all right you ever seen Chris Chandler this is what a real quarterback looks like I'm not I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm [ __ ] done I'm [ __ ] done Jesus Christ geez okay I'm [ __ ] done I'm hiding alerts I'm [ __ ] hi hide alerts I'm done [ __ ] [ __ ] um look at them that's what a real quarterback looks like I mean [ __ ] uh I mean just look [ __ ] big and [ __ ] hairy and balding at the same time how do you have hair and balding at the same time you could just see the callede saac just right like through his hair you know see the through the trees you can [ __ ] see the scalp right through his [ __ ] hair he's got like a [ __ ] Bush on top of his head I mean you can see the scalp right through his hair dude The Sun Shines on it you can see the skin and his so like you already know 100% it's [ __ ] going away um Chris Chandler I mean I look at this [ __ ] guy I [ __ ] love this guy there's a great picture of um Chris Chandler herd there's a a great picture of him just on his [ __ ] knee hold on Chris Chandler quarterback um on his I want this picture on his knees I better [ __ ] find it dude there's a picture of him just on his knees just [ __ ] screaming and he's just ring in [ __ ] pain UM quarterback [Music] poster anyways look at him right there look at this guy and I [ __ ] got milk he led the [ __ ] uh Falcons to the Super Bowl and he lost to John Elway um and he played like [ __ ] um but he I think he beat Randall Cunningham and the Vikings and the Vikings had the best kicker in the league and they [ __ ] missed the game winning field goal uh you know but the these are what I mean these are these are what real quarterbacks look like they're just big and lky and uh Steve deberg a real quarterback looks like just a blue collar look at this guy dude he just smells like [ __ ] Listerine I mean look at his [ __ ] face there you can just see this guy likes a [ __ ] cocktail he's got the red [ __ ] the red neck um just you can just see the [ __ ] the whiskey just [ __ ] burned his face a little bit um the brown whiskey burned his face I mean look at this right here look at this is him in shape dude just [ __ ] super tan um look at him that's what a [ __ ] quarterback looks like right there win or lose Stevie mus booze then you get a little bit older look at that look at that you got the [ __ ] cuaac coming in uh holding on to it for dear life win or lose he backed up every Joe on an Dan Marino I mean anybody that you that you know is a Hall of Fame quarterback he [ __ ] backed up and he says he would teach them footwork and [ __ ] and he said the the job of the backup quarterback is actually to be the coach of the starting quarterback and to be their best friends and help them reset and get their feet back and get their ball placement back and that he would do that with Montana and he would do that with Dan Marino and Chris Chandler had his best season with him see when he was with the when he was with the [ __ ] Falcons he went to the Super Bowl and and and he's a coach to this day he sits at home on his couch and he breaks down film he says winter loose Ste he L booze he poured a my mom would pay him $300 a [ __ ] day to [ __ ] and he would just tell me crazy [ __ ] like run five miles every single day bouncing a basketball and you just get your elbow [ __ ] jacked um and yeah I mean [ __ ] Steve de BG I mean let's go look at pro football talk had a Hooter's wife that was Hooter's waitress calendar girl big tits uh [ __ ] beautiful uh he uh he got stuck in his boat one time he had to swim in alligator infested waters back to the shore um Aaron Rogers is the Jet's only [ __ ] Captain Jesus Christ oh [ __ ] Aaron Rodgers is [ __ ] clown dude this guy just taking the team hostage he's just a trans guy taking the team hostage man just a closet gay just [ __ ] taking the game hostage um just a total [ __ ] the biggest narcissist in the NFL I mean the Steve Nash of starting quarterbacks just small he just the [ __ ] John stocked into the javelin he just [ __ ] he thinks it uh he thinks he's back in Green Bay and the game still the same and and uh I don't know I don't know how he'll play I personally think he's going to get hurt again I think he's going to sometimes when you're ginger on your Achilles you're going to tear your ACL um because you're not you don't want to put pressure on the ankle so you take a lot of pressure in the middle load on the knee so and he's done an MCL before um he's also skinny um so you could look for a shoulder injury a clavicle a collar bone um maybe even breaks his neck and turns into Christopher Reeves from Superman and he [ __ ] dies um and his in his funeral as they take him to the top of the [ __ ] Empire State Building and they just throw their favorite player off the edge like a penny and he just hits the and he [ __ ] lands on whoever whatever person is the biggest Jets fan the [ __ ] uh who's the biggest the biggest Jets football fan and his job is to stand down but yeah this guy fireman Ed who caught all the dead bodies floating from the World Trade Center he stands there with his open arms or any Jets fan can play and they can catch Aaron Rogers body from the top of the Empire State Building like a player that they just they that just passed away if they catch his body they can keep him um and it just crushes Fire Marshall Ed and the [ __ ] and then all of a sudden the building starts to shake and and bombs go off and it explodes and it just covers Rogers and rubble and he's the new 911 which is going to be the score of a lot of their games um when they have to put Tyrod Taylor and um you know Rogers talks a lot of [ __ ] well I'm not saying to do this but you know I hope he doesn't tell the pilot that he knows how to fly the team plane and then [ __ ] uh like a kid high on acutane um crashes it on the path to the championship we'll see I I I don't know what to tell you um it's just not going to be a good season uh for a lot of people um Lamar Jackson he's supposed to supposed to play the Kansas City Chiefs but uh [ __ ] and and they're saying it's like oh it's an avenge or Revenge game he doesn't [ __ ] care their race does they don't [ __ ] care bro he doesn't care he's getting paid he's just happy he's not having to live back in [ __ ] uh Miami or wherever he [ __ ] came from he's just every day for him is a blessing um and he's just gonna go out there ball and that's why they really can't win Super Bowls because these people they don't they they take things personal but white people do something about it they kind of just are passive aggressive and they just take things personal and then they project like you know like uh like they're super like they got too much swag and stuff to deal with this [ __ ] and uh and and they they can't they can't hear me they can't hear what I'm saying and they just say all this like retroactive reactive kind of Behavioral stuff and white people are crazy they turn Ted Bundy you know these people the danam Marino they turn into serial killers and they kill prostitutes and they break their Nets with their bare hands and do blow off their [ __ ] face before they bury them and uh and that's what Patrick Mahomes started doing is Patrick Mahomes he [ __ ] uh Patrick Mahomes you know I don't know if he got a pill addiction or something but he started [ __ ] uh he kind of he you know who he turned into turned into um God damn it who is the [ __ ] crazy uh the comedian who looks like Patrick Mahomes um yeah he turn right here yeah he turned into Eric Andre is what he did and just went [ __ ] ape [ __ ] and just started punching through his [ __ ] desk and and I don't again I don't know if he started taking testosterone or what he started doing but Texas Tech he was he would he would lose I mean he'd launch it but he would lose but now he's just a parent see what I told you trust people have parents he has kids he's butt [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of [ __ ] Britney giving babies as soon as she's not pregnant he's like [ __ ] get back in that bed and then he [ __ ] her and he [ __ ] pounds her [ __ ] and gives her a [ __ ] baby pill and then he's like grow that [ __ ] baby all football season it'll keep you busy um and he basically uh and he's like what I'mma do at my day job you better be running a [ __ ] daycare and uh and he just and he just [ __ ] get he just keeps that [ __ ] paring and and that's why he gets to play ball because she's busy taking care of the babies and and uh tweeting her support for Trump and and that's why he's going to beat Lamar Jackson because Lamar Jackson doesn't have a little black baby running around he doesn't have a little boy or a little girl or whatever um he needs to he needs to get that [ __ ] and then he'll start to play better right now he's Steve McNair he's single I mean he's gonna fall asleep at a [ __ ] uh at a DAV Buster's waitress house and wake up with his dick in his mouth if he's not careful and I don't want that to happen to him he's got ear little bow syndrome he's got a poop in his butt [ __ ] juice running down his legs um literally running scared shitless and uh and he's just got it doesn't matter it's he uh he just he doesn't he has that dog in him but it's like a it's it's it's not like a it's not one that would win in a Michael Vic [ __ ] dog fighting ring it's like a he's like Lamar's like a lap dog of the league or something he's just a that happy dog that's well fed and has made some money and and you know as long as he gets his yards and and uh makes a few electric plays and he goes viral then he it leads him to a few victories um his most valuable player to him is um me my victory is being paid that's what most most valuable player is to him he he doesn't care about a Super Bowl it does nothing for his salary um he gave up $760,000 not to go a training camp because um that's what a person whose entire DNA bloodline has been broke for hundreds and thousands of years would do um to to the DNA to make sure that it survives Darwinism is they would give some of those dollars back um [ __ ] I'm I'm literally a [ __ ] Legend I'm not kidding you I'm literally I'm [ __ ] cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs Lamar Jackson um Eternal loser uh Josh Allen uh [ __ ] this guy [ __ ] uh um you know grow growing growing up on a family farm [ __ ] him up it made him uh it just you know look at him he's got like dyslexic eyes um I think he's too much of a nice guy parents they raise them too nice uh you got to raise them tough you gotta cuss at them a little bit you gotta scream at them you got to tell them they can do better if if you if as a parent if you meet another person pretend like you meet another kid and he's doing good at a practice you have to kind of pull your son aside after the practice and say Hey you see so and so over there that people think is good he [ __ ] sucks and he's nothing compared to you and he's [ __ ] garbage and you should go punch him in the face in front of everyone and and the kid will cry and be like I'm not going to do that Dad and all this [ __ ] but it's like all right we do what you want to do but you better [ __ ] set tone right now before he sets the stage and if he does you better [ __ ] dance on it way better than him and you [ __ ] and you you just bully and belittle his friends so he learns how to bully and belittle his friends because friends are garbage at the end of the day they're all [ __ ] they're all fakes and and you don't [ __ ] need them and a lot of them are just losers and Clinger on watch any Johnny Manzel documentary about his friends um if uh I mean look look ask look at this guy right here if you have a friend like the if you're the famous one and you have a friend who's not famous who thinks he's famous because he's your friend he's a [ __ ] and you should [ __ ] get rid of him I mean look what he turned into a [ __ ] uh Doug from Instagram who who does solar Turf and walks around and [ __ ] says he's on Turf and and uh and today is a bad day to be a door look at look how dumy looks I mean he I mean he might as well die he's not going to do anything in this world not don't die but if you did don't care you're not going to do anything I mean look and here he is he's like oh we're famous and uh I Got Friends in Low Places and I mean he's in a really low place look at him oh we're in a basketball game together we're gonna be best friends forever and and secretly it's like um there's something about the male Bond where it's like it's just gay um and I would just say go away I'm not gay I don't I'm not I don't have guy friends because I'm not gay if guy friends is you're basically saying like you're a [ __ ] that I just don't [ __ ] that's what a guy friend is you're just a [ __ ] that I don't [ __ ] that's what a guy friend is I mean oh yeah look at this picture of us with money and okay I would make him dance I would make Doug here dance and I'd be like here give me that cash real quick you can do a dance for me and and uh and I would [ __ ] uh and I would make him do do all kinds of dumb stuff I I would [ __ ] uh you want to stay here and be my friend well you can [ __ ] uh you can start doing chores and you can be my [ __ ] employee and you can clean this [ __ ] house up and vacuum these carpets and clean these [ __ ] toilet bowls [Music] um and [ __ ] it I mean you're a [ __ ] anyway since you're my guy friend why don't you [ __ ] blow me and see if you like it or not and see if you still want to be friends and after you blow me if you still want to be friends after blowing my load in your mouth and you can [ __ ] uh you can blow me again sometime and just kind of be real upfront and Frank with them you know if you're G to be my friend you're be sticking around maybe I'll [ __ ] you and uh and just kind of you know see it's like oh now we're not friends or now we're not good friends now that I'm gay right that's exactly what I [ __ ] said you [ __ ] [ __ ] and then you just [ __ ] uh and then he holds you when your family hostage which is what this guy secretly wants to do that's what your guy friends secretly want to do if you're famous they want to hold you when your family hostage forever um yeah so we'll see see what we got going have a great day