Reddit Stories | Cousin demands I pay for her IVF treatment because I'm rich now but I can't ...

so about a month ago during quarantine I decided out of sheer boredom to play the European Lottery Believe It or Not For the first time in my life I had won something and not just the little win but the whole jackpot was mine I was literally shaking at first and just wanted to scream and tell everyone but I decided to just calm down and plan out what I'm going to do with it the money I received is immense like I never have to work a day in my life neither will my children if I decide to have them and I still had enough left over to give to my brother and parents so they if they act responsibly will never have to worry about money again either on to the point the females on my mother's side of the family have all pretty much crappy genetics when it comes to hair we're all mostly losing hair and have visible bald spots on our heads mine started at the age of 15 which was a huge blow to my self-confidence it's not horrendous but it is something that I've always said I'd fix for all of us if I had the chance and now I intend to keep my word and said anyone who wants hair implants is welcome to join and I am paying forever everything it ended up being only me my mom and my aunt mother sister as I am arranging all of this I get a call from my mom apparently my cousin mother's brother's daughter would like to have me pay for her fertility treatment instead of the hair transplant which was never even considered for because luckily she has really nice hair I was kind of weirded out by the request especially since she didn't reach out to me in person her mom called my mom and because she has some issue with me and avoids me at all times but now all of a sudden I'm supposed to be friendly and pay for her treatments I flat out refused mainly because we have a history where she really wasn't nice to me and she used to pick on me and partly because well it's my money and I don't want to spend it on someone who wasn't my friend and kind of always hated me a little another thing is well I've not quite looked it up but I think these treatments are far more expensive than just a hair transplant and I think she just saw a nice opportunity to milk me a little with the added pressure from our families so now my mom and aunt are saying I have enough money to pay for her as well that I'm an a-hole if I don't because it's such a life-changing thing to be a mom and if I don't do it she can never be a mom and that they'd rather ice spend the money I was going to spend on them on my cousin I'm thinking of just getting some hair for myself and thinking duck them all but would I be the a-hole then not the a-hole all kinds of people come out when someone suddenly has money your jerk cousin wants to play nice now that someone can pay for her treatment but she won't even contact you or your mom herself she had her mommy contact your mommy you not have to spend your money on people who were not there for you when you had nothing that's not being greedy it's being realistic your real friends were there 2 months ago before you had the cash anyone who pops their head up now is just about the money and unfortunately anyone new who shows up you have to be careful about are they trying to be your friend because you have money or are they just a cool person not the a-hole it's your money so you choose what to use it on if she has never been nice to you before the money it's clear she is now trying to use you for her own benefit benefit I suggest you keep the money a secret as it is possible more people like her will try to use you not the a-hole your money spend it however you want also put your foot down now about what you will and won't pay for when people find out you have money they'll start to try and take Mega advantage of you people coming out of the woodwork friends you haven't talked to in years contacting you family members with all sorts of emergencies learn how to say no and learn it quickly update okay since a bunch of people are pming me about the and some about how a baby is the most important thing I can tell you my parents brother and Aunt are the only ones who received money from me it was because they were always there for me and I felt loved with them I got around 80 million EUR after tax parents brother and Aunt all received around 5 million individually before tax which is 25% so if they want they can ducking pay for her baby treatments nobody wants to ducking pay for it because they say these things can cost up to hundreds of thousands of Euros for a sing single try and not even work the first time and everyone wants a big house vacation home new car Etc first I'm the one with the majority of the money still I was also the worst for not giving everyone in the family an equal share my mom has two sisters and a brother and I only gave money to one Aunt because if I had given cousin side of the family the same amount of money nobody would be upset and they'd pay for it themselves with my money but okay she and I have had a history where I was really young and thought she was my best friend and I was really loyal to to her but she accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend and made fun of me behind my back whenever I left the room she told everyone I was still a virgin at 16 and her and some guys made fun of me which now I'm kind of proud I wasn't an S I cut ties with her around that time because I had felt betrayed so many times up to that point from then on we've never really got along anymore and she has never showed any interest in me up until now when I am suddenly rich now I should be a good cousin and pay for her to have a baby or maybe a few eh well after read all of these responses and having some time to think I've decided to not go ahead with the procedure for anyone but myself everyone just seems so entitled and I feel like I'm a new toy for everyone to use and abuse until I'm not interesting anymore and have given them all they can get I am sad and disappointed but like they say money can't buy you happiness but it hurts less when you cry in your Mansion I don't have a mansion just trying to be funny a couple of years ago I married into a large family my husband has two brothers and six cousins boys who all grew up as one family and literally call each other brothers we tend to meet up at least once a month my issue isn't with the boys it's that six of them are married and there is a weird dynamic within the wives the main issue is that my husband used to date his cousin's wife's sister before he met me weird I know they broke up 6 years ago and even though I didn't even know him when he was in the relationship it's clear she thinks I have something to do with it she pretty much doesn't acknowledge Him and is very frosty with me with caddy comments thrown in I'll call this sister-in-law Charlotte everyone knows she was like this too but no one makes a big deal of it including us I understand that she has a reason for her behavior even though sometimes I find it frustrating the guys generally make light of the situation example there were lots of jokes when I got her for Secret Santa so it's out in the open that she dislikes me as I'm the newest wife and also feel like I'm in a somewhat hostile situation I used to get quite anxious when I was around them I discussed this with a different sister-in-law let's call her Miranda last year I actually ended up breaking down and crying about how hated I felt when I hadn't actually done anything wrong Miranda was understanding and basically said she knew Charlotte should get over it and hopefully she would soon so the most recent thing that happened was that I mentioned to Miranda a group activity we could do with all the wives it was basically a paid activity and something you can only really go to once she said it was a great idea and I said I'd bring it up next time we were together to arrange a date a couple of weeks later she messaged the rest of the wives in our WhatsApp group suggesting this activity and asking for dates we are free Charlotte throws out a date she can do as her schedule is the most packed and I say I can't do that date but suggest alternate dates without even responding to me Miranda says as the majority can go on Charlotte's datee we'll go with that date so they basically planned and went to the event I told them about without me bearing in mind everyone else could have gone on several other dates but that would have meant no Charlotte I got really upset by this and my husband basically thinks I'm being unreasonable I think it's the issue for me one I feel like the least important one of the group anyway two there was no acknowledgement of me when they made their plans or that I came up with the Activity three Miranda knows how Charlotte treats me and how she makes me feel she doesn't care I've basically told my husband I won't be meeting up with him separately anymore without him and the boys as I don't feel valued but he thinks that's a really Petty move and will lead to issues in the future I'm also reluctant to bring this up to the wives as I don't want to make this into a huge awkward thing it's already bad enough when we meet up having to deal with Charlotte you aren't being petty and you don't have to be friends with them it's okay you have to be civil at holiday functions but don't have to see them otherwise anyone would have her feelings and your husband is not exactly being supportive of you and your feelings your feelings are valid and you should insulate yourself from future psychological harm try to make your own friend group if you don't have one maybe take up new hobbies and the Like These people aren't your friends and clearly don't want to I understand that sucks but you're giving them a lot of power that they don't deserve no one is obligated to be another person's friend for any reason stop trying you need to sit your husband down and explain to him how important it is that he get on your side of course he is allowed to exercise his own judgment and call you out when you were wrong but in this case you not it was your idea you weren't given credit for it and you were cut out if he doesn't understand how crappy that is then you've got more than sister-in-law issues you should talk to Miranda directly tell her exactly how what happened made you feel she either takes that information and tries to make it up to you or she proves herself not to be your friend the last secret I going to impart stop worrying about making people upset if you are making an honorable effort to be reasonable find compromises and avoid cruelty then duck the people who get upset it's on them the key here is being thoughtful and reasonable which it sounds like you are at this point your goal is not peace because no one cares about your needs at this point your goal is boundaries again wellth thought out reasonable ones unfortunately you have to start with your husband he has to have your back edit a couple of things to mention my husband's Brothers cousins are his best friends he has other groups of friends that we see but there is an obvious difference in the closeness that's why we meet up with them so much and are all so interl I actually enjoy hanging out with the guys and we get on great I also have good friends though many have moved out of town but it's true that I need to make an effort to make sure my life is full outside of this group I don't want to paint my husband into bad light I agree that I need to spill this out to him more clearly and provide more context his response was more that if I act off the back of this and withdraw from the group now I will feel more isolated and awkward around them and then regret it I actually think I need some space from these girls so I can feel like myself again and hopefully he will understand that the way he handles things is different example he thinks it's Charlotte's loss that she doesn't speak to us as we are great and she's missing out obviously it affects me more deeply and I need to communicate that I'm also taking on board the advice of meeting up with my sister-in-laws one or two at a time I think this would work really well and to be honest my main issues are with Charlotte and Miranda so hopefully I can make some stronger connections so I don't feel as isolated in the group I'm a classic people pleaser that wants to be unanimously liked this is not an appealing quality and it's refreshing to remember that not everyone will like me and that's okay my husband is the youngest of two boys and my my mother-in-law favors his older brother my brother-in-law to give an example my husband does her weekly shopping and drops it off as she's vulnerable and shielding due to virus he's done this every week since March she has shown little appreciation and expects him to do it twice my brother-in-law's dropped by with bulk bought tea bags or bottles of water and she will go on and on to anyone who will listen about how he goes out of his way for her his kind heart he looks after her there are also many times that my husband and brother-in-law have given her a joint present and she will hug brother-in-law only and say I know brother-in-law really gave me this I know she loves my husband and I think the reason for this is that brother-in-law took on a lot of responsibility when they were young and my husband was shielded from things my husband stepped up in the last 10 years or so and brother-in-law has stepped back due to his own family responsibilities but my mother-in-law hasn't changed her mindset so at the weekend we went to drop shopping off at her house and stopped for a chat we were talking about my pregnancy and she turned to me and said you you do know I will never love any grandchild as much as I love brother-in-law's son because he is brother-in-law's child and my first grandchild I have no idea why she said this to me and maybe it's common for grandparents to favor their first grandchild but she knows I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I already had it in the back of my mind that we would be treated differently my sister-in-law already gets special treatment for being mother of this grandchild and I thought having a baby may change this but it looks like it will just highlight the favoritism more my husband thinks I'm jumping the gun and getting being upset before anything has happened but I feel so down about this unnecessary interaction and having to deal with this once the baby is born mother-in-law thank you for letting me know that you will never love my child as much as you love my nephew you do understand that since you have promised to teach my child that they are less than you have guaranteed yourself a very limited place in their life if and when you can prove to me that you are capable of keeping your prejudicial favoritism to yourself we can revisit what if any relationship you will have with my family I would have immediately responded with oh good I knew my mom would be the favorite and most loved grandmother I'm glad you see I'm glad you see it too thanks for ducking out every future Christmas with number one grandma is fantastic and sit back and watch your stroke out while backpedaling I 28 female paint broken unsalvageable antique and vintage furniture my brothers 25 ex fiance 32 used to bug me about selling him one of my vanities and I told him I'd give him a $200 disc account on the one she wanted that was 8 months ago and I never heard anything back so I started doing it how I wanted it done just recently I recently finished my own vanity I recently finished my own vanity that has always been mine to keep I had time between custom orders and for sale pieces to finally finish it after owning it for 3 years I posted the photo and my brother comments for me to let him buy it and I told him it was mine well she comments under our thread I picked out the color scheme this piece was supposed to be mine but it don't surprise me one bit one more thing gone of mine enjoy it not only did I point out hey this isn't your piece but I also told her I don't know where a damn thing she started messaging me back and forth about how I promised her I did not and that it was her vanity it wasn't so I sent her the pictures of each to compare and I told her nothing was hers until it was paid for and it wasn't she is no longer with my brother she treated him like dirt and was cruel to him and now won't allow him to see their daughter so she gets absolutely nothing from me and I blocked her a few days later she texts me through what I can only assume is an app and asks if she can still buy it she didn't once apologize for commenting that disrespectful crap on my business page I haven't replied and I refuse to am I the a-hole she is telling some mutual friends that I stole it from her when that couldn't be further from the truth I want it at an auction for a quarter I'm going to continue to ignore her and when I am finished with it in the style I want to do I'm going to sell it not the a-hole but please tell us your brother is pursuing his parental rights through the family court system not the a-hole you can't steal what she never owned I would suggest blocking her and not engaging with her further you can't argue logic with crazy any further interaction won't help the situation [Music]