THROWGOD on Aaron Rodgers Achilles, Jason Kelce Wife, Sound of Freedom, Mel Gibson

let's do a TG TV [ __ ] double dose [ __ ] I got my [ __ ] my great white shark [ __ ] t-shirt on Aaron Rogers doesn't work out bro it's as simple as that all that holistic methodical [ __ ] the [ __ ] sleeping in the dark Ness and the [ __ ] oxygen T Chambers and [ __ ] it's for the [ __ ] Birds got a squat got a bench press got of Jack weights bro gotta be a gym rat and he has a body like a little [ __ ] little Steve Nash small little weasel [ __ ] Ice Age rat [ __ ] gen Z kids like that [ __ ] little [ __ ] body little [ __ ] brain little skull look at him he's like a little [ __ ] fret he's a little [ __ ] rat let's see look at him [ __ ] kid he didn't do any calf raises this off seon he didn't [ __ ] uh do lunges he didn't go on the leg extensions or the leg curls or he didn't just [ __ ] uh sometimes I literally just stand there and I just go like this [ __ ] like 500 times in a row you'll blow your [ __ ] calf muscles out he thought science and Innovation and surgeries were going to [ __ ] save him it's all about having the [ __ ] chromosomes I'm telling you it's all about having the blood cells and the body and [ __ ] and just being like [ __ ] Wolverine you ever seen the movie Wolverine he [ __ ] gets stabbed in his [ __ ] wounds heal on his own he doesn't have that [ __ ] he's from Jo he's like a one star out of high school that's the thing you got to ask the little quarterback recruits you got to say like if something ever happens to you are you able to psychologically save yourself can you tell yourself to [ __ ] heal and your body will just start [ __ ] healing are you super human are you a starfish can you regenerate and regrow [ __ ] fingers and feet and can you [ __ ] um can you put your hand on women's heads and say suck my [ __ ] and it and they're that's all they can think about for hours afterwards um your favorite Green Bay Packer he doesn't have the John Travolta phenomenon he's a little buddy a little dude little guy Little Koala bear little pee pee pants look at them oh no I got to retake my killing them my little ankle I'm out here in the park throwing with [ __ ] blood clots I could have a heart attack and [ __ ] die at any moment from a [ __ ] brain aneurysm I don't even give a [ __ ] my heart's [ __ ] pounding I'm like [ __ ] bury me on this [ __ ] field I'll haunt all the [ __ ] children for the rest of their [ __ ] life like Freddy cougar look at him limping around he's not okay he's done he's cashed it Dan Marino came back from an Achilles vny test verie it's not [ __ ] this isn't tearing your ACL this is your [ __ ] your kangaroo your [ __ ] uh it's what let you walk and [ __ ] this has nothing to do with like your acl's like lateral like you can stand up straight with an ACL but when you got that Achilles that should just [ __ ] walk into the fridge in the middle of the night to get a gallon of milk out of the fridge [ __ ] muscle that's just getting out of the bed in the morning your feet hit the floor kind of muscle the [ __ ] Achilles I butt [ __ ] a girl with a [ __ ] uh with a torn meniscus she had my leg in a cast it was just to the side and it was all swollen and stuff but I still had enough energy to [ __ ] pump this girl's ass full to come and then I had a [ __ ] crutch under my other arm and I was just butt [ __ ] her with a broken leg you could still do that when I came to hard I [ __ ] the crutch fell out of my arm and I fell off the side of the bed and was just laying on the ground and I said hurry up come on top of me get on top and ride me this way I was you know I was that's I was [ __ ] not gonna be denied given this dyke dick and look at him he can't even [ __ ] roll out let alone [ __ ] uh beat down some rectum he can't even roll out complete a [Music] pass sad to see Aaron roders and then he has nothing if he if he doesn't have football he is nothing why you think all these players are trying to start podcasts cuz they're not playing anymore anymore no one cares fans are sick of fence like that they're [ __ ] sick they can't put you on their fantasy football team they don't give a [ __ ] about you and he'll lose all his superstardom um if he can't come back from this injury people will stop uh he'll stop being able to hang out with like Ryan Reynolds and [ __ ] they W they they won't let him uh help buy a soccer team with him and uh just said sad it's sad to watch he talks all the [ __ ] all the conspiracy theories Aaron roders [ __ ] uh what's he gonna go be the sheriff of of a small town and he he can't use his Achilles so he has to [ __ ] ride up and down the sidewalks on a [ __ ] horse and he and he's in a sheriff's outfit and he's in a small town and he has a saddle bag with a small shotgun in it and a [ __ ] badge and he [ __ ] uh he gives tickets to bully I don't what's he going to [ __ ] do with his life CU he's about his Achilles is about to turn him into [ __ ] Woody from Toy Story look at him he's small he's like Steve Nash is he gonna uh is he gonna do like Drew lock and [ __ ] uh keep every time he loses his job he posts a video of him dunking a basketball on Instagram I a gay [ __ ] ever let's see Drew lock dunks basketball the the uh the dude can't complete a [ __ ] pass but he can uh he can dunk a [ __ ] B look at this [ __ ] kid I would blow my brains out bro if I had a [ __ ] if my kid ever said he wanted to play basketball I'd literally blow my I'd be like where are you gonna [ __ ] uh be a six foot 10 [ __ ] black guy huh kid you're G to grow up to be Kevin Garnett you're Caucasian you're small look at you look at this [ __ ] kid dribbling is the Down Syndrome of sports that's why when you go to the YMCA you just see like all the kids with no Talent they're there in herds just heing basketballs at the hoop it's literally just like Caucasian uh [ __ ] they herds like [ __ ] cats Cool Cats [ __ ] just hurting uh free throw shots at the [ __ ] hoop and just bricks and rim shots they can't even get one in they're just [ __ ] licking the bottom of their shoes and shooting basketballs for fun look at this [ __ ] whoa bro you're gonna get that ball in the [ __ ] hoop isn't it crazy if you're not like an athletic [ __ ] black guy like you're a 100% MPC at least what he's not the man he gets to go be like a middle manager or something something this guy's gonna be if he's not an athlete he's going to be working at a [ __ ] AT&T store he's goingon to be working at [ __ ] beepers and phones um look ah you're you're gonna turn me trans with your ball skills Drew lock I you know what I would say to a kid who played basketball I would say to him I'd say you want to be a star quarterback or starting quarterback or you you want to [ __ ] be a basketball player like why are you spending any time on anything that isn't quarterbacking is quarterbacking not in your soul is that little basketball in your [ __ ] blood did your [ __ ] pops [ __ ] black girls in college I don't [ __ ] understand why where did that shape of that ball [ __ ] come from because when I looked at the ultrasound I looked at the little a view of a baby were shaped like a football I don't understand Drew lock high school basketball highlights [ __ ] sick Bro whoa look at this fadeaway shot I'm gonna dad I want to go to Duke I'm gonna be the next Greg paus and I'm gonna go to [ __ ] Duke and I'm gonna play college basketball and then as soon as my [ __ ] career is over I'm not gonna get drafted and then I'm gonna go get a [ __ ] corporate job and everyone's going to be like man that was a sick shot you made [ __ ] 17 years ago against North Carolina in the [ __ ] NCAA [ __ ] tournament you were a beast in that [ __ ] bracket and then and then I'm gonna have a bad day who's the [ __ ] uh who's the famous uh Tarheel basketball player I just saw him the other day [ __ ] Tyler hansbo let's go see Tyler H bro remember this [ __ ] goofball he was like super famous bro uh I went and saw will frell do a show in in h Chapel Hill and highe brought Tyler hansboro up on stage it was like a funnier Die videos [ __ ] presents and uh somebody saw him the other day oh yeah dude I would do this the rest of my life dude I'm just gonna [ __ ] be an [ __ ] who's just obsessed with my [ __ ] alumni and like someone sees me and I'm just going to say dude sucks and they're going to scream dude yeah dude do suck dude dude do suck wow holy [ __ ] bro this guy looks like a down andout [ __ ] dentrick convenience store movie on [ __ ] Netflix instead of going to the NBA he's gonna [ __ ] look at this guy dude you [ __ ] work for Duke take your [ __ ] hand off me bro I [ __ ] play for the Tar Heels dude I don't [ __ ] report to you coach coach Chef chefskis remember he's a beast look at him he got a [ __ ] he got a bloody nose 16 years ago today he proved he was built different he got a bloody nose he just he's not like Aaron Rogers he popped his bloody nose off and he put He has white privilege he had a [ __ ] uh he had an AM Amazon package with a with a Mr Potato Head nose in it and he popped his nose off and he and he had a the the uh when he he had a the white privilege of having a box botch plastic surgeon on the sideline and they did uh temporary tooth surgery but for his [ __ ] nose and they put a new [ __ ] white nose on and just with a like sewing machine and they just sewed a new nose on real quick and he kept playing I saw him the other day Tyler hansboro now what does he do now is he a [ __ ] graduate assistant they tried to get me to be a grad assistant I'm like what am I going to teach people who suck at throwing the football I'm gonna [ __ ] have to talk to them and then they're gonna make me [ __ ] suck I'd rather blow my brains out and I think I was high on Blow when I [ __ ] uh I went home and I went to take a nap and I went to sleep until like [ __ ] uh 1 p and then I woke up and I went and bench pressed and got [ __ ] jacked and I did more blow and drank more beer and [ __ ] more [ __ ] and um let's see what's he doing now that's what I want to see is what is Tyler hansboro doing now Tyler hansboro LinkedIn what does Tyler does he live in Chapel Hill he lives in Chapel Hill and he dabbles in sports media with his own podcasts while he figures out what life looks like after basketball he played 16 years ago he still doesn't know what life looks like it's 2023 he he it's so hard to [ __ ] be a D1 athlete and then to [ __ ] do something and how famous he was [ __ ] kissed by Fame and then he's got to go [ __ ] do something else how much did Tyler Harens BR a fouryear $9 million contract with the Pacers all right so we got n million guaranteed that's not bad who is buried in the Chapel Hill Cemetery um lot of famous people uh Dean Smith K Kaiser and [ __ ] Tyler hansboro he goes to the cemetery sometimes with a trouble when he gets sad and he and he spends all day digging a hole and then he just lays down in it and he just stares up at the uh a guy laying in a cemetery this is T this is what Tyler hansboro does because he he got $9 million so he doesn't have a day job he this is Ty this isn't Tyler this is what he does this is this is he digs holes in the cemetery and he just goes lays in them and takes a nap and he says I needed that it's all the motivation I needed to know that I don't want to die I don't want to have a day job but I don't want to die and he just and he gets up and he puts his hat and his work pants back on and he goes back to the workplace and he sits it instead of a cofin he sits in his chair and he just walks past people who um they [ __ ] uh they slipped because this gets slippery when it's raining out and they slipped and they stepped on the marble and he slipped and hit his head and they don't even bury him because they didn't pay to be buried they didn't pay to have their own funeral so they just leave him there if you ever go to a graveyard they're just [ __ ] dead people they just leave them laying on the ground um and uh look at this guy right here he's a one second away from he's just gonna um he's not going to shoot himself uh there should be gambling apps for how people are going to get to heaven and you could put a wager down on when they're going to go and why they're gonna go and I would I don't know I'll put a few bucks down um slitz throat false face Stone and they find them and they leave them let's see let's see a [ __ ] you don't want to do it the stop staring at it and come on do something I got some money on the line the [ __ ] do something pal this is [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm gonna [ __ ] I got my life salary on and you're [ __ ] staring at the [ __ ] uh at the grave site come on get to heaven let's go hypothetically allegedly come on give me [ __ ] um this guy was just a day there and he [ __ ] was pressure spraying and he slipped on the Rock and he just hit his head on the tombstone and now he's dead I [ __ ] welcome to the bonus throw God live um this guy he said uh he's saying Sheila I'm sorry I pushed you down the stairs but you wouldn't shut the [ __ ] up and I thought maybe I get a Netflix series out of it here's some flowers for your um your husband in the future when you get reincarnated as a [ __ ] uh as a [ __ ] in society makes you rich hold on let me see what someone sad at [ __ ] work has to say to me God I don't [ __ ] care are you ready for this [ __ ] are you ready I'm gonna read this [ __ ] are you ready for this [ __ ] [ __ ] this [ __ ] this [ __ ] foreign person at work thank you for being a great worker and teammate I already sent my resignation in take care always oh my God God back to her [ __ ] third world kind I don't know what she's going to do over there I think she's in the Philippines or something [ __ ] more power to you they're going to have her walking back and forth to the [ __ ] Water's Edge with a [ __ ] Jug on her head collecting water and [ __ ] squirting iodine drops in it and [ __ ] trying to clean it up and [ __ ] so that they can drink it that's her next job she's going to be in a canoe um uh canoe uh with a huge net collecting fish she's going to this is this is where my co-workers this is her right here this is her and her husband they started a uh gigantic fish uh grocery store and they just go out in boats and they catch gigantic fish and they and they leave them they don't they don't Fame them or anything like they do in America they just put this huge it's like an aquarium for uh people who [ __ ] are hungry and they just put you know like a the fish a Fish Market at the grocery store you know how they put the fish in there like this okay this they're not going to do this with this fish after she just put her resignation in and reality syncs in and she realizes she's a [ __ ] [ __ ] and you should never resign from your job you should always make people fire you so one you can exhaust it as long as you can the last week of getting fired they don't even email you you're just getting paid to be on a free vacation and then two as soon as they fire you you just make up crazy [ __ ] and get unemployment claims and and get [ __ ] paid so don't ever [ __ ] resign like a [ __ ] idiot like that force them to call you a [ __ ] on the phone and then [ __ ] hang up and call the cops the corporate cops the [ __ ] unemployment people and say yeah [ __ ] they asked me they're like the guy said you quit I said no [ __ ] uh well he's not legit and they said well they said you quit and I said uh well he's a liar and a [ __ ] uh he he made me and and I just fight with him until I [ __ ] win the unemployment claim anyways she now is going to get in a big boat and she's gonna [ __ ] get a gigantic fish and they're gonna lay it down just like this huge fish they're gonna lay it down on the ice and people are just gonna say h i it's $165 for this fish and you can bring it home and fle it and cut it up and feed your whole family for a few days whatever you want to do um this is her she's uh this is her husband in uh uh uh Gupta guad guad Guadalupe and he's a and he he he runs a game fishing grocery store um this is the boat of her dreams she wants a kayak she um she saw this guy fishing out on the lake she said holy [ __ ] look at all those fishing poles he's got a TV he's got a net um and and all we have is a [ __ ] an old basset found that we found that someone abandoned at a Boatyard and that you just spray painted silver it was all rusted and the paints coming off again and it's we're going to sink and and uh and he's like shut up and help me get this fish and she said fine you know I'm getting a [ __ ] divorce from you uh I lost my day job now I'm getting now I'm gonna lose lose the job I have with you as a wife as a [ __ ] wife who has to stay at home and [ __ ] help you catch big fish and now I'm we're getting a divorce and then he said fine go out and find work yourself women these women they always want to work they don't want to just stay home and live off my salary and have to suck and [ __ ] every once in a while they want to [ __ ] go to work and they want to dress up in big suit and act like big men on campus even though they nothing but the bleeding [ __ ] and they leave Blood on the carpet and then they who do they call they call me to come with carpet machine to steam the carpet to clean the carpet and and then uh then she said you're so [ __ ] chauvinistic I'll [ __ ] show you and then she showed up in a huge boat she went and got a great job and she bought a huge boat this [ __ ] was a she turned into a baddy and he looked over down the shore and he's like struggling to get this fish in there by himself now that he doesn't have his piece of [ __ ] wife helping him in a [ __ ] scuba mask down here with the [ __ ] tail he looked up he said holy [ __ ] this [ __ ] [ __ ] and this is how much fish she had when she went and got a [ __ ] job she was so motivated by Harrison Buckner she went and bought a huge boat uh called the called yvon's pelor worm um and she [ __ ] look at all the [ __ ] fish she's got she's gonna fill every supermarket in America [ __ ] how about that [ __ ] and he and he said you go you you're no good you no good give me some of those fish and she said shut up these are my fish and she [ __ ] Dr back out to the Sea I'm going to get more and he and he I'll get you and he started paddling towards her I'm going to get you and your fish and he [ __ ] paddling and and he put the fish down he pulled a big rifle out of this fish's mouth he said pow pow pow he shoot the P Ching Jing Jing and they [ __ ] they got into a fight over fish and he [Laughter] ah and then out of nowhere he said no baby girl this is I tell you no get job get the back here no and and she was dragging all this fish Chum in the water and then all of a sudden a huge megalodon eats a [ __ ] boot a huge Megalodon came and ate her [ __ ] B no baby this is why I told you not to get a job cuz a huge mean Megalodon is going to [ __ ] eat you no [Laughter] and holy [ __ ] no and then he's just over here [ __ ] washing I bet I better get the [ __ ] out of here before Meg done get you too he's yelling to him you better get out of here oh no you got the fish get the fish out of the water oh no oh no get the fish out of the I better get this one it's $165 for the family to buy but I'm GNA I sell it for2 200 I make $40 off huge fish and then no yeah M Kayer ah a no I would be if if I saw this I would be out of my [ __ ] mind if I was on a [ __ ] paddle boat and I saw this big [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] whale I would be out of my [ __ ] mind I don't care if it's a shark I think sharks are in swimming pool so I don't give a [ __ ] every [ __ ] lake has a [ __ ] alligator in this guy is barefoot no shirt on on a boogie board with a paddle next to a [ __ ] school bus siiz fish that eats people like they're Plankton um so I don't I'm I'm just home by myself I want to blow my [ __ ] brains out so we're just gonna you guys just [ __ ] deal with it I don't [ __ ] care he's gonna be home by himself too with this and he's just going to be texting his friends to come over and they're going to be like we have day jobs we can't party any bees at whenever we want I want to read you a book about French poetry come over you like do you want me to you want to start a book club and they're like no we [ __ ] play on our phones and [ __ ] and [ __ ] we don't read reading is for retards where we just gonna learn about history and what people used to do in the past isn't peaked in college a [ __ ] um peaked in high school a thing the same people who say peaked in high school or [ __ ] like their interest is peaked in history how the [ __ ] does that make sense the same people the same gen Z kids say you peaked in high school they like [ __ ] Shane Gillis and they and they [ __ ] their interest is peaked in history so what is it you [ __ ] you're living in the past so are you you're laughing at jokes about the [ __ ] past you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] you see how stupid that is [ __ ] give a [ __ ] about [ __ ] history let's go look at some [ __ ] history Mel Gibson in the [ __ ] Patriot look at this mother this this would be me in [ __ ] history right here Harrison and his [ __ ] Hatchet and I would be the number one serial killer in [ __ ] uh socialist [ __ ] uh America look at this I wouldn't be saving my son or [ __ ] my family or anything this is literally a woman's blood right here and she's running in the [ __ ] woods from me and I'm G to [ __ ] find her because I have nothing to do I don't have a day job I [ __ ] already chopped the lumber it's time to kill some lesbians I live in a wood house with no [ __ ] air conditioning what do you think I'm some kind of [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm just going to sit around and wait to go to the afterlife no I'm gonna go have some fun and I'm G to find people with a hatchet and I'm gonna [ __ ] kill them and this is what you would do back day in the woods this they didn't have murder laws and [ __ ] this guy probably freelance murdered a hundred people just like someone was on his property and he [ __ ] put a hatchet in his [ __ ] head and [ __ ] uh probably hung a few [ __ ] uh people uh back then that [ __ ] weren't Caucasian like him he just is like I don't know you don't [ __ ] we're still this is the American Revolution we're still kind of animals and I [ __ ] and you don't look like me and so I'm gonna [ __ ] uh lent you and he and and he [ __ ] he doesn't like it but he's like [ __ ] uh I have to protect my life in my property he's not a racist or anything he's just a [ __ ] he's still a [ __ ] he doesn't he hasn't read books or anything he's just literally a breathing organism that has no [ __ ] he he literally like didn't go to school there's no college degrees there's no Harvard there's no Yale there's no Skull and Bones there's no [ __ ] uh Corporate America calc t183 calculators or cell phones or anything he literally just wakes up and it's just him in the world and he says what do I want to do and he says I want to kill women and anybody that tries to take this world from me the same way like uh Shiloh Sanders beat up that security guard for taking his phone and what's your phone it's your Mini World your phone is your Mini World someone tries to take your phone from you you he punched him in the face and he's in debt now for $12 million but the the Buffalo are definitely gonna go undefeated this year um they're they're in debt and gonna go undefeated and they and college football is just going to get canceled out and collapse and you know everyone is GNA [ __ ] they're going to close all the churches and we're going to go back to BC before Christ back then when they just had uh themselves and the world and a hatchet and [ __ ] and you would just wake up and you wouldn't shower because there was no bath there's no showers barely any candles you only had so much daylight you couldn't see at night there's no light switches or or [ __ ] uh and no water to drink you had to make your own water and you just [ __ ] wander around all day with a [ __ ] people's blood on your shirt swearing to people that you meet you're like I don't come here I don't have AIDS they say I don't have AIDS I don't have some kind of blood poisoning disorder I don't have anything come here I just want to [ __ ] behead you with my [ __ ] axe um that's all they did back then and he I'm gonna yeah I'm gonna go hunting I'll be right back and he grab his Hatchet and they be like how many [ __ ] women is he going to kill today and they would just hear screams and they would be like oh that [ __ ] was that was that the [ __ ] kind of animal is that I'm shut up and and uh he's saving his son again he says he has to save his son every day and it's just him chopping a [ __ ] up with a [ __ ] axe look at him she knows right there she's horrified but at least she has a home to live in he he saw her he said I don't know I don't think I'm gonna you know you might be a different color than me but let me see do you have a [ __ ] and and he said uh you can [ __ ] stay here at my house and all you have to do is cook me meals and give me head and and uh and I won't kill you with my Hatchet she said deal and he said deal and they said dad and uh we want mom back and he said she died a tuberculosis and uh you didn't even try to save her and he's like with what we don't have ibuprofen we don't have nightquil we have nothing and she just was gargling blood laying in bed all sick and he's like I hate to tell you babies this but it's going to be a real bad day because we're gonna have to burn the bedroom down and and uh and they said uh why because Mom my wife she's in there she's sick and we have to sanitize it and we don't have like soap and [ __ ] yet so we're just going to have to set her body on fire while she's still alive we're going to have to burn the bedroom down with her inside she's going to be kicking and screaming and [ __ ] uh we're going to put a blindfold on her I'm going to tie some leaves around her [ __ ] head with some uh with some Vine and uh see if this [ __ ] fit hello hey yeah okay all right all right I'll I'll get with you in a few minutes okay we'll get it we'll get it uh done thank you for doing that super I'll uh I'll give you a shout here soon okay yeah uhhuh okay okay uh every month or every you know every quarter come out you know rebuff this and that but it sounds like they got okay I'll go with them and then I'll give you a shout here in a few seconds thank you for doing that appreciate it y pleas let me know all right thanks by I don't [Music] care I got a burn mommy alive in her bed she's being bad and she got a [ __ ] botula and I don't know what the [ __ ] botulism I don't know what to [ __ ] do with it I just call her a [ __ ] I'm going to burn her alive she's not going to get to see me in the future when I do movies as a man in the [ __ ] Army all right um I'm still here [ __ ] he he said to heaven where she's at now I'm still here what now um they said people couldn't be immortal look how far I've look how much I've grown up as a [ __ ] uh since the Patriot um I I the when the people from British Britain came they brought penicillin with them I started taking penicillin shots and [ __ ] and then uh and now I [ __ ] look good as [ __ ] look at my body I [ __ ] uh I don't I don't have worms and stuff anymore and I [ __ ] I'm just a [ __ ] uh gonna make uh I'm Terrible Tim Allen in the Santa Claus I'm the [ __ ] tyrannical Santa Claus and I [ __ ] and I scream at children on the sets of child trafficking movies that I make this Mo this [ __ ] movie is about child trafficking I need you to act like child slaves you stupid little pieces of [ __ ] and he's just screaming at the kids of the sound of Freedom he's like this is what Freedom sounds like me yelling at your [ __ ] face godamn it I'm trying to make a [ __ ] good movie about child trafficking that people can watch on their [ __ ] TVs because they keep clicking on that [ __ ] on social media I'm trying to make I'm gonna promote it as a movie for all the parents in our country right now that are scared of child trafficking as a TV program that they could pay for and watch on their TV and and uh and we'll and it'll program on and desensitize them to child trafficking they'll see the movie and they'll say man I thought it was going to be a little more child trafficking than that sound of freedom I thought it was going to be [ __ ] uh about Epstein island or something it's just a stupid bicio deloro [ __ ] CIA movie that sucks what the [ __ ] is this you're not pretending to be sad enough this is between a movie separate say you're not pretending to be sad enough like this doesn't you don't sound like freedom I need you to scream like help or something or [ __ ] uh you know like like you want to be saved you look like you're scared of me where are you from by the way how do we even get you here who signed you up for this by the way did your mom sign you up for this or your parents or like how the [ __ ] are you this young and you got a job in a Hollywood movie for [ __ ] Mel Gibson I'm just I don't understand like they make you in a lab or something or where do you live did you come from the Caribbean were you literally trafficked here to make a TV show I'm [ __ ] so confused about where they get the kids from it's called the sound of freedom but can you too seriously act like brother and sister I'm not even kidding you I got a look at look over there look you guys see where you're looking right now so we're going to send you back to and he's just pointing to the ocean and he's like in a small little canoe boat and you're GNA [ __ ] have to turn into Ellen Gonzalez and you're have to get that canoe all the way back to Cuba safely by yourself if you don't say what the [ __ ] I want you to say on this for for my [ __ ] camera oh now you're acting real sad when I said that I was going to take you guys weren't going to get your Lunchables look at your faces now you're not going to get this this is the sound of a empty Capri Sun you guys what are you saying it sounds like you're slurping in empty Capri Sun I need something more Sinister more sad and and why is Mr steel your girl here about to steal your sister you need to protect her and you two kids start fighting right now I don't care you're obvious you're not from the same family so I don't want I don't want you guys to [ __ ] act like your friends and stuff you never [ __ ] seen him before he comes from a different part of the of the content of what one of the continents that he [ __ ] came here in a boat to make a big movie and you guys should beat each other up that's what that's what child trafficking kids would do they would fight um they wouldn't become friends and family and so they would start fighting and turning on each other and and they can't understand it they you're going to get fired if you don't if you don't you go on Google and search child trafficking all right and how you're supposed to behave in those circumstances all right and then you come back here and you act like that in front of the camera you [ __ ] hear me or I'll delete your uh your imds and all you'll be left with is irritable bowel syndrome from water that hasn't been ionized do you [ __ ] think I'm playing with you that's it cancel the pizza no pizza party um what what are we [ __ ] what what is this I told you I wanted to take a pitcher and you turned into Pocahontas this is the sound of Freedom this is not the [ __ ] John Smith is well he actually is this is John Smith and he's gonna save you I Hey listen to me listen to me you suck at acting I'm dead serious I don't know if we have to get those Google translator headphones so when I say something it'll translate the words into your brain and then you'll be able to spit them out [ __ ] back to me but you need to start transcribing or translating or doing whatever you can do to make sense for the TV show or we're g to take your part out of the script it's okay and we're going to send you back to whatever special ed [ __ ] uh classroom you [ __ ] came from all right I don't care if you have asthma all right your I think your mom's over there or whoever [ __ ] brought you here some one guy brought like 10 of you I don't [ __ ] is your mom even do she even know you're here where you're riding your bike and you got brought to a [ __ ] TV set who brought you here you don't know okay well why are you breathing like that do you need an inhaler who do I get it from who has your inhaler and and so these are the conversations that were behind the scenes in the sa of freedom and then at the end they said we're gonna we're gonna do Bad Boys with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence and we need you to jump into uh Havier bom's hands right I need you to jump into Javier Barton's hands right here and we're going to take a bad boys with Martin Lawrence and Will Smith pitch called the S of Freedom by Angel Studios where they they save children from um [ __ ] cities in South America that nobody that's has any money that is a Caucasian person and middle upper white privileged class America [ __ ] cares about or gives a [ __ ] about I [ __ ] what do I [ __ ] want to watch a show about [ __ ] South America for Jesus Christ cancel Netflix um the sound of boredom that's what that movie is called it's me sleeping on the couch after sipping on 13 drinks in a row trying to get drunk enough to [ __ ] uh find a reason not to [ __ ] die this guy spent this is the funny thing about about this child trafficking [ __ ] is that you spend all day sitting on your cell phones [ __ ] Googling and [ __ ] is that this guy right here he got paid for it so you spent all that time like Googling Epstein Island and [ __ ] and you're like oh [ __ ] that's sad and [ __ ] did Amelia AAR crash her plane on Epstein island is that conspiracy true and she was only [ __ ] a a 10 year-old uh [ __ ] Ellen Page on Accutane and she got upset and she crashed her plane on Epstein Island and then was locked into a cannibal child trafficking ring and all the [ __ ] that you're [ __ ] Google searching this guy spent the same amount of time so he could learn how to play the role and be a method actor of a man who would do that and then he went and got paid like what 75,000 to [ __ ] uh for this role to make this movie and so there is a future in in being a internet conspiracy theorists either that or the conspiracy theorist should say to themselves um um what's worse the actual child trafficking or somebody spending an entire two years of their life as a method actor pretending to be in a child trafficking film which is worse in the world we live in because he didn't have to do that he could have [ __ ] uh he could have been in a baseball movie or uh he could have been in a [ __ ] Yellowstone or something to do with Cowboys and [ __ ] he could have been in the Patriot with Gibson and just been a a [ __ ] uh a colonial person Christopher Columbus and he could have just gave the poor Indian children corn he didn't have to traffic them I'm just saying it goes all the way back to to choices in life and decisions that you make and he chose to be um he chose to to not even be associated with the crime of child trafficking in any way in any way just a Caucasian guy that [ __ ] play play the tuba and Miss baseball Little League baseball game in in elementary school CU he had a [ __ ] tuba show to go to and he got into acting and he was in Peter [Music] Pan and he did high school plays and he's living a perfect life with his white privilege and then one day he's like I want to get paid to be in a movie where I am an actor that pretends to be a a [ __ ] cop that saves children from child trafficking and and he signed up for and now his name is associated with that forever and his and he's always I could type in uh let's see um let's see I don't know if my dog's back there playing the Bongos or what but um child trafficking uh the first thing that comes up sound of Freedom Who's the who who's the [ __ ] what's this what is this hey bro I don't think you can work here anymore because I was a conspiracy theorist and middle manager at my job you shut the [ __ ] up my dog is burping in it sleep um and so I pretend you're a middle manager at your day job and you find out you're like man you know what I think my manager is the Pro god well it's the same thing but they could be like I think the guy who works for me was is involved in child trafficking because I typed in child trafficking sound of freedom and it just showed a bunch of pictures of him talking to children and now he wants to have a career here like what is this please explain this picture to me and then he got fired from his day job for doing this film and now we now he can't have a [ __ ] corporate career because he did a child trafficking film and a lot of people in the community they're like they're like hey man you used to be like kind of cool and you could come to the Crawfish boils and stuff but we don't really think you should uh you should be like coaching anything or or you should be going to the grocery stores and stuff because you spent uh two years of your life pretending to be a cop in a child trafficking movie and that's just weird that you would sign up for that and so a lot of NPCs are like well why would he you know why why would you do a movie about child trafficking his wife wants to divorce him now and his family and friends think he's a [ __ ] and it was the worst decision he ever made and now he has to live in a world where on camera he did a skit where he pretended to be a child trafficker and and now and that's what he sold his soul to the devil for uh to lose his day job because he used to be a Hollywood actor that everyone thinks is an [ __ ] because he decided to do a child trafficking film and then so what so everything I just said is basically what it's like being a social media star um let's see what else we got concerning videos of Aaron Rogers he looked in the mirror and he saw how small he was and he [ __ ] uh he closed his eyes and he said he's he's been dealing a lot with different crystals and minerals and stuff and um and he looked in the mirror Aaron roders and he's and he [ __ ] uh he he's he's he he believes in stretching he's been doing the trans the Tom Brady method so much and he's try he's been drinking so many green shot coffees and espressos and stuff and he's starting to turn green and he's hoping that one day that he can be limber enough that he won't even need an Achilles and that he can actually just turn into [ __ ] liquid and that he can and he he want he he wants he wants to be the he wants to finish his career in the league as human liquid and every time they try to sack him there's it's just like a splash of water and he can do whatever he wants and he [ __ ] uh and he he wins all the games because he has all the leverage because he's Li because he's made of liquid and they can't sack him and they they're [ __ ] um they try to punch the ball out he puts a and and they can't it's just a [ __ ] problem and he he's he's been getting so into conspiracy theories he's been reading all about Spirit cooking and all this [ __ ] and that secret ancient technologies have where they can turn people into [ __ ] liquid and they can live as hydrogen here on Earth and they don't have to deal with oxygen anymore and um and that's what the darkness Retreat is he goes and a [ __ ] um the dark the Kevin bake um in uh what the [ __ ] uh with the The Invisible Man you guys all think that Aaron Rogers is on a Darkness retreat but this is actually him in the darkness retreat with a team of scientists and he's learning how he can make himself disappear because he doesn't want to be here on Earth anymore because of the politics and the communism and the covid and all the protocols and the Civil War that's about to come he he was trying to become the Invisible Man and so you guys think Aaron Rogers is in a Darkness Retreat and him and a few of his closest friends that are all scientists and smart people and all Scholars because Aaron Rogers is not friends with stupid people he doesn't know one stupid person not one stupid person in his life every single person Aaron Rodgers spends time with is the smartest scholarly [ __ ] all ACC academic 4.0 NBA GPA [ __ ] throw God smart [ __ ] person that reads books and memor he doesn't read books he memorizes books and then he can rewrite books did you know that Aaron Rogers he can read a book he memorizes the entire book and then he writes rewrites the book in his own words and how he interpreted it and so he just has books in his house um Aaron roders all these books that you see all these all these books right here like Henry David throws Walden Pond and uh Ralph Waldo Emerson and The Scarlet Letter all these [ __ ] books he's read some all the Brett F biographies are over here he he he's read all all of them he opened the book and the inside the Brett fa biography the first page it just said don't be gay and he [ __ ] closed it and he's like Jesus thanks bread that's real blue collar ofie and um all these books here he reads them he reads the books he pontificates them and thinks about them and then he rewrites them in his own words so if you go to read the book then you're just going to read what Aaron Rodgers thought about the book like the way he interpreted the book and so if for some reason if for some reason the world has been doing this for the last hundred years pretend like uh there was different versions of the Bible like it wasn't the first book that the person wrote in a cave when he was scared and shaking and there was a bear sitting outside that was going to murder him and he was trying to get his last thoughts down his will before he [ __ ] died and left this world and he wrote In the book with a feather in his own blood some guy got that book read what he said and said this guy's a little too suicidal for me maybe I should make it I get what he's saying that he's scared of the bear but we should try to save the Bears and so I'm going toite I'm going to change his words from that he's scared he thinks he should slit his float before the bear sinks his teeth into him and I'm just going to say he's scared of the bear and he's sorry that that this happened and and uh and save the Bears and not me and then and so throughout the history of the world if people have been reading books and then rewriting them in their own words and then new people come along and new generations and they get the same book that somebody else read and rewrote and then they read it and then they rewrite it and then that same book has been Rewritten hundreds and thousands of times by the side it's sold in a Barnes & Noble well then we would be right here where we're at in this world with a bunch of fake [ __ ] books that people are reading and claiming to be smart a bunch of fake [ __ ] French poetry books um if you can make sense of that maybe you're I don't know I'm not smart enough to hang out with Aaron Rogers um this is so whenever you hear he's going in the darkness Retreat you should this is what Aaron Rogers is doing he's he's just tied up to a hospital bed as a skeleton and he's trying to turn invisible he doesn't want the co shot he told him he says do not give me a CO shot but if you need to whatever whatever else I want to turn invisible and they're like well we're goingon to have to put stuff in your body and he's like no I told you don't put anything in my body I don't know if I have to sit in a tanning bed or if I have to [ __ ] uh just if I'm in the darkness and then the the light evaporates from the Cave the dark cave the light is no longer emitted it gets sucked out well what does the darkness do it keeps searching for light to take out of the room right that's why when you open a door you see like the light under the crack of the door so what do you do you stuff attack under the door so the the light that keeps coming into the dark cave the the darkness actually eats the light and that's why you go to church because the devil is constantly trying to eat the light in your life and and he's trying to [ __ ] he's trying to explain that he says oh my God holy [ __ ] I [ __ ] didn't get the covid shot and you guys instead I got turned into a human a condom this is [ __ ] crazy does and and he actually what he that's but he's like this is awesome next time Co comes around in the election he's just gonna wear a human condom skin suit to not get it instead of getting the co shot and he's trying to say to her he's like you could suck on you could suck and [ __ ] any part of my face my body any part and you wouldn't get an STD because I my skin is Salient and covered in sheep skin and and he's like and I'm I swear to God I'm going to go swim in your [ __ ] body you [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm going to swim around in your [ __ ] like it's a [ __ ] pool I'm gonna freestyle swim all around your [ __ ] all up in your ass like a [ __ ] uh a [ __ ] crocodile alligator up in your [ __ ] anus I'm gonna [ __ ] I'm gonna swim around in that [ __ ] liver like it's a [ __ ] Lake and he's just saying sexy [ __ ] to her because he's covered in sheep skin and rubber and then he and then um and then he [ __ ] is saying to the people he's like I'm made out of rubber you're made out of glue whatever you say to me bounces off of me and and sticks to you and they [ __ ] and uh and he's just and he's just he's funny he's oh my god um and they told them they said all right all right you want to know how you go invisible um I'll tell you how you go invisible and we tie you up and we're going to turn you into a skeleton we're going to take all your organs out we're going to take your brain out we're going to cut all your skin off and we're just going to leave the skeleton part and then we're going to go take that skin and we're gonna fill it up with helium like it's a [ __ ] hot air balloon and and uh and and all the air outside you know like the oxygen and the air and stuff because you don't need bones what do bones actually do they're just like they just [ __ ] hold the house up like they're just like 2 by4 they're wood that hold your [ __ ] body up so you can walk and [ __ ] and technically you don't even have to walk you could just you be just fine as a [ __ ] bag of jelly you just have to make sure that oxygen is still circulating through your body and stuff so your organs can [ __ ] survive and so we're just gonna and and he he was he's trying to [ __ ] comprehend it but he didn't read that book um and um he should go as this as Halloween next year when he [ __ ] comes back when he you know like uh he should just start walking in when they do Hard Knocks he should walk into the jet stadium is dressed like this and then take his sunglasses off and he [ __ ] doesn't have eyes anymore and he said that he [ __ ] uh he was hanging out with RFK Jr and he they Soul scalped him and put a worm in his brain he had to get his worm removed and they had to take his eyes out to [ __ ] get to to do the surgery to remove the worm from his brain and he's hoping to get his eyes back soon um [ __ ] Aaron Rodgers what a [ __ ] [ __ ] Jesus Christ this guy see look when you're skeleton like this how are you supposed to have sex you don't even have a dick that's why I told you there's no point to even the human skeleton it takes away your sex Parts where's the deck where's the [ __ ] you see you see what I'm saying like you get you still get your no you don't even have ears you just have holes you still the only ear you get you still have your [ __ ] nose a little bit but you don't have a [ __ ] and so how he's asking him he's like where did my [ __ ] go this sucks I don't want to be a [ __ ] skeleton you stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] and she's like well I want to go to work and get a corporate job and so how am I going to do that if you think you're the [ __ ] of the Walk he's like what the [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] and and she took she [ __ ] had his [ __ ] surgically removed and and uh these are all the men on social media who support women going back to work and they joined her Army of [ __ ] alienating men and you'll never get anal again and he and he's and Aaron Rogers tied up in his Darkness Retreat and give me my dick back and he's screaming um I'm just trying here I'm trying to [ __ ] figure it out uh I'm trying to see what we can do here look at this right here um and they and he that's what Roger said you know said you know why I'm so good at football is because I came from fungi and he pulled this out and he showed some of the black football players a picture of this and he said look here I went back to my natural primordial state before I was a football player and I was just fungi and I literally was just [ __ ] uh um it was just like how you see like Vines growing up off fence and [ __ ] before I became a football player and their [ __ ] minds were blown and he's like yeah I I found out about this from [ __ ] reading books and then I I immediately called up all the top academic institutions and I said do you guys want to practice scientific experiments on an athlete with the Sex and the City Star and they said sure we we only get to experiment on rats and mice and and he said well have that's the thing about science and medicine is they only experiment on sick people so when they that's what he's trying to tell [ __ ] people in the world he said they only experiment on rats and mice and cats and they and they [ __ ] never you never hear like oh scientific experiment for the Co shot was done on somebody with a Hall of Fame NFL career and they just have a they collect a bunch of [ __ ] NFL stars and they just poke them and prod them and they just [ __ ] find uh penicillins and [ __ ] from NFL players no the medicine you're taking is always from the weakest and the saddest men who [ __ ] have died so that way we could make the drug you cancer oh we found out the cure for cancer from a bunch of people who had [ __ ] cancer well what about finding a cure from the the cancer for the people who don't have cancer who never got cancer why did they never get cancer why am I finding the cure for cancer from people who have [ __ ] cancer that that means that they're losers and that they're [ __ ] they do you see what I'm saying like they they suck so bad that their body is trying to commit suicide by [ __ ] uh ending their career their day job corporate career and giving them cancer your body turns on you okay your body's like I'm not going back to work your brain's like I got to go back to work to make money and your body's like I'm not [ __ ] going back how about this how about I give you gallbladder [ __ ] disease how about that and then we'll see if you go do your day job when you have to [ __ ] piss all the time and [ __ ] um you want go ahead get a corporate career I'll give you Crohns [ __ ] I don't want to go sit in a [ __ ] chair so guess what I'm gonna give you Crohns how about that you want to sit in a chair you're gonna sit on a toilet and you're going to [ __ ] and your body will [ __ ] turn on you and so you have to be [ __ ] careful cuz your body and your brain and your balls are three separate brains your balls are brains that are in your ball sack I'm not kidding it's not they say they're testicles but your ball is actually brain matter then you have your [ __ ] brain up here and then you have a brain in your belly and you actually are vertically just made of brains and that's it and so in your brains are pissed and they're [ __ ] they're different than your body that's why your balls will be like you [ __ ] better butt [ __ ] a [ __ ] tonight and then your and then your brain is like but how I I don't I [ __ ] uh nobody likes me and he's like I don't care if somebody [ __ ] likes you you [ __ ] go out to a bar you buy some dumb Dy of drink and you [ __ ] give her dick and he's like I don't know what to do and he's like God and then your belly is like godamn it um come with me [ __ ] and he and your belly you look at your belly in the mirror says go to the gym and your belly starts working on the ABS and your brain's like yeah that's how you're going to get a piece of ass and then your brain's like [ __ ] uh now I can get a bad [ __ ] and so your your body and your brain your balls and your um and your butthole and all that [ __ ] it all work together to [ __ ] get your body to get you to boof a [ __ ] and you don't even [ __ ] realize it you're just along for the [ __ ] ride all right you're not even in control you're you think you're making decisions and you're not at all just a few minutes ago I was working out and I was like dude I have to jack off to Dre Alexa today next thing you know I'm on Twitter jacking off to Dre Alexa I didn't even want to my [ __ ] I had I don't my hand just started my arm started stretching as if it was gonna rip off the skin started separating and my [ __ ] legs started walking I was like I don't want to jack off and my body was like you're going to [ __ ] jack off and next thing you know I'm [ __ ] chising just like that um and you just got to be [ __ ] careful I'm telling you you got to be [ __ ] careful because we really are just Hollow Men we really are just bags of hot air just [ __ ] a helium balloon [ __ ] Hollow Men with small brains um uh trying to clean things up what are we doing here what else can we [ __ ] say here why doesn't Nikki Glazer come out with an only fan see that's the thing I don't understand she talks dirty and she [ __ ] all her sexual escapades and she has that skinny I can squirt Veronica AV love body where her [ __ ] prolapses but it's like okay you're doing a podcast take some penis on it you know what I'm saying it's like you [ __ ] talk a lot about [ __ ] for a [ __ ] comedian it's time to come on camera and so that's what I'm saying with the whole women want to go to work but women don't want to [ __ ] they don't want to have to they don't want fame when it comes to [ __ ] do they no they get scared and they [ __ ] back out that's why I only have respect for female porn stars because at least they [ __ ] they set up a tripod and take a [ __ ] pounding okay it's like she's kind of a dirty girl she's kind of nasty but it's like okay so it's you know I hear the words coming out of your mouth let's [ __ ] see it you know I want to see the I want to see the only fans I want to see the Nikki Glazer only fans where she gets turned into a human candle um you got to be careful with women like this women that don't have children they're sociopaths they're not sane and they're not rational they didn't have to grow something in their belly like you know like a [ __ ] uh a home you know a 4H Garden in their [ __ ] uh in in their belly they didn't have to a a wife who had to grow a [ __ ] watermelon and then give birth to it and then raise it to be a baby that could play baseball so that's why you got to be careful you can't trust people who don't have children because they're not rational they're not sane at all they don't know what they're doing and they shouldn't be part of a civilization there should be a segregation of people who don't have children and they have to go live in a separate part of society until they're mature enough to use the [ __ ] uh their body parts that make babies okay because like she's never had to [ __ ] keep something alive and then let alone keep it alive it's not just about keeping a baby alive it's about making it a star making it a [ __ ] uh you know getting it a gig on a [ __ ] child trafficking movie like the sound of Freedom okay that's a real mom the mom that [ __ ] drove them to the movie set for the kids on the sou of Freedom that's that's a real mom she doesn't have a baby I know I guess she I mean her brain you know she thinks she's Brave and she wants to be famous and she has all this free time and says all that [ __ ] but she needs to [ __ ] have a [ __ ] kid and then she'll be believable and she'll have credibility all right that you cannot trust women that don't have children okay because you get I'm telling you right now men either you see a man that doesn't have a baby he's [ __ ] broke he he doesn't know what the [ __ ] he's talking about he can be buff he can have abs he can talk he can be cute he can [ __ ] be brave he can be anything he [ __ ] wants in the world but if he doesn't have a baby the only thing he's ever gonna be is a [ __ ] uh uh loser that's it until he can [ __ ] create life and give birth to life and use his balls to create something he'll just be a loser until he has a [ __ ] baby because it's the most it's the most instinctual survival Instinct in society literally you're saying I'm going to die I need to spread my seed that thing needs to stay here on Earth and then it's going to spread its seed and I'm literally going to be IM mortal and I'm going to live forever that's how much you have to believe in yourself to have a baby and that should be the only thing that you're [ __ ] focused on is how the [ __ ] am I going to live forever and bring life into this world and instead you're like I'm gonna uh you know it's selfish to think I'm just gonna die and then my DNA is gonna stop and your parents are like holy [ __ ] our [ __ ] ancestors our 23 and me were not proud of you think about how much [ __ ] had to get pounded for you to even be here you [ __ ] selfish [ __ ] and then you're just not going to use your [ __ ] to become a parent and produce a [ __ ] child so we can carry on our [ __ ] DNA strain for the next [ __ ] Century you [ __ ] [ __ ] and and I'm telling you right now you don't think so that's the way it works the only reason to be alive is to have a litter I'm not kidding I thought it was good anyways let's see Elon Musk here talking about space look at him in his [ __ ] Laos shirt he's telling look at look how weird he is like look at his [ __ ] weird arms and hands and stuff and he's this is a guy this is like an OG [ __ ] this is just an O you know before Joe Rogan when people had Google search and [ __ ] he's just Jamie from Joe Rogan that's all he is he's literally just he's just a guy from like the [ __ ] 90s who just started [ __ ] uh he just start before there was Google search he just was like you know what I just [ __ ] uh I'm gonna seek out just weird facts I'm just gonna [ __ ] fund my body with weird facts from [ __ ] uh from the history and from the world and I'm just going to [ __ ] and and now he he's just literally all he did and you could do the same thing is he's just regurgitating everything he ever read That's all this is It's not that someone's super smart or that they're a genius they just literally are regurgitating everything they ever learned and ever read and if you haven't heard it before oh they love it they're like if you haven't if you don't know how to build a spaceship automatically you're going to think he's smarter than you um that's it's as simple that so just find a topic any topic pick any Topic in the world go [ __ ] um uh pick [ __ ] any Topic in the world that you think like all your family and friends go over to your family and friends and start circulating around be like what the [ __ ] does no one here know about no one they could it would it would take them forever to find out about it what does no one [ __ ] know about learn as much as you can about that topic and then when you come back the next time to the next family function you [ __ ] feed all that information to them and they will [ __ ] they'll think you're brilliant they'll think you're so smart they won't know you're broke um and that's basically what conspiracy theorists are doing right now at crawfish boils you [ __ ] [ __ ] uh God damn damn it I [ __ ] love when I just like S I suck you into a story and you just think it's going so well and then I just turn it right on you on your head and you're like why am I even here he doesn't care about me throw God doesn't [ __ ] care about me at all and just respect it all right just respect that I don't [ __ ] care about you see look um I would have I would have played got your nose with Marsha Brady and made her beg for it back that's a caption this is a great man right here do you understand like how [ __ ] glorious this [ __ ] man is look at that throw God as a my logo as my dick let's see here let's [ __ ] look at it let's see here look at that [ __ ] look at that haircut look at that throw look at that [ __ ] body what a [ __ ] beast I said uh look at this caption my fans can go down on me and suck my [ __ ] [ __ ] that amazing what' you say man what' you [ __ ] say bro you know your dad's [ __ ] gay when he wants you to play soccer and two guys thank you absolute machine you're wel good like I like these comments soccer guys are the worst they are good job good job Michael [ __ ] go Gogurt um no no comment that's an amazing video um no no comment 19 likes if if any [ __ ] little if if any little [ __ ] look let's go who's this Spencer kid I don't [ __ ] care I got all the time in the world who's the [ __ ] uh who's the Shane who's the who's the [ __ ] uh the football [ __ ] kid the uh the Shane somebody can what the [ __ ] is the kid he catches [ __ ] in his mouth he's a total [ __ ] NPC [ __ ] uh the social media kid who catches uh stuff in his mouth uh Shane Bole this [ __ ] loser holy [ __ ] can you believe his [ __ ] his mom has to put up with this [ __ ] uh Shane Bo what's his [ __ ] name h n Shane okay whatever [ __ ] in Shane oh my God this is I don't [ __ ] I'm not gonna spend much more time on this oh I could I guess I could just I guess I could just click on this um I don't know let's see let's see this [ __ ] [ __ ] all right 1.3 million followers for for for this [ __ ] [ __ ] look at this [ __ ] guy all right let's see let's watch a [ __ ] video of this [ __ ] him and his friends dude his friends are going to [ __ ] uh either one day he's gonna be like hey you guys want to go film throwing marshmallows in my mouth and they're going be like I don't know bro we got to [ __ ] uh we got to go to work man we don't have much time we got a family and [ __ ] he's like what do you mean bro you don't want to throw marshmallows in my [ __ ] mouth this kind of Fame can't last he's either gonna have to go be a [ __ ] in the Fall Guy with Ryan Gosling and be a stunt man or he's just goingon to get high on heroin and die in a [ __ ] sewer um but I mean this is his friends just bully and belittle him and they're just using him for fame and I [ __ ] I laugh about it all the time he's got some pretty [ __ ] he's got some pretty [ __ ] [ __ ] videos uh let's see here let's see let's see one where his friend just [ __ ] uh what oh [ __ ] I I'm not going to wait uh let's see let's see okay let's this is so funny bro you're so funny this is a funny tutu bro he snaps it it's a funny drop bro he Jed him out God damn it I want to [ __ ] die bro this guy makes me want to kill myself this type of Fame can't last I mean he's got 1.3 million followers what's he going to do with it he's not going to [ __ ] do anything with it he's just going to be he's going to [ __ ] go get a job and they're going to be like dude you're a [ __ ] uh you can't have this [ __ ] at work you know that's why that's why I go as hard as I do because like if you're G to cancel me I mean I just [ __ ] you know [ __ ] set me on fire see his friend doesn't care about him bro his friend just [ __ ] run look at his crosseyed [ __ ] [ __ ] his friend just [ __ ] runs full speed into him then thanks man and probably took a 100 takes he probably did look at this Mom check out my [ __ ] video look at that see that he just let a [ __ ] black kid [ __ ] tackle him like that [ __ ] beat the [ __ ] out of your [ __ ] kid if you ever see look at this [ __ ] what are you a [ __ ] you're just a [ __ ] [ __ ] who just lets people [ __ ] look at that [ __ ] are you [ __ ] kidding me what kind of [ __ ] beta ass NPC ass [ __ ] [ __ ] is that it's not your [ __ ] friend look at this Fu this [ __ ] look at that [ __ ] Bro the [ __ ] out of here this guy [ __ ] is a [ __ ] I can't even watch this [ __ ] [ __ ] it [ __ ] so [ __ ] gay and then I'm just over here like a [ __ ] Champion bro like a [ __ ] monster look at this [ __ ] [ __ ] what a [ __ ] monster blah look at that [ __ ] bomb [ __ ] laser look at this [ __ ] throw that's like a [ __ ] 80 yards on a [ __ ] line Jesus W [ __ ] Legend that's right holy [ __ ] best account I found along thank you God yeah Patrick Mahomes has been real quiet since this video released started smoking blunts in sixth grade showering fully dressed on my clothes on so my mom couldn't smell I used to do that [ __ ] I go smoke blunts and I get hurry up back in the house I get in the shower with my [ __ ] clothes on and I get the smell off my [ __ ] body blah blah blah look at that [ __ ] thing you guys want a [ __ ] big old [ __ ] piece of that don't you don't show that to your girl don't show that to your [ __ ] girl um one last one last thing and then I'll [ __ ] get out of here because I oh my God I don't [ __ ] [ __ ] that [ __ ] Jason Kelsey this [ __ ] guy a woman confronts them on redo date night offers redo date night what the [ __ ] is this the Kelsey's on her date asked for photo when she was turned down she began berating the couple please let this [ __ ] be a real thing oh my god dude you don't realize the zombie apocalypse that we're living in of famous vers non-f famous people you do not realize the zombie apocalypse we're living in it's literally already here Mad Max is already here I'm telling you right now none no one's like like people uh you know people like I talked to my friends are like I don't have [ __ ] social media accounts and I'm like for why you're not going to exist soon it's called like social capital and I'm you're not even going to be a [ __ ] person they're like I don't [ __ ] care about that it's like okay yeah you [ __ ] do that's why you're buying season tickets and playing fantasy football and [ __ ] because you do [ __ ] care and but you're and I'm telling you right now people like this this is a zombie apocalypse [ __ ] that you see in the [ __ ] uh in all the zombie movies uh the confrontation because she's used to just clicking she's used to just liking and then she saw him in person and not on social media and she went [ __ ] crazy her [ __ ] dopamine went [ __ ] nuts she was high as [ __ ] on dopamine like like a [ __ ] person on drugs that takes [ __ ] meth and she starts [ __ ] attacking them um but anyways the one thing I um the mayor apologizes and shut the [ __ ] up this [ __ ] happens all the time by the way but anyways the thing I let's see Jason Kelce and his wife um I made a I made a whole [ __ ] tick Tok on it but I I [ __ ] laugh about it because uh so he basically said like he sent his wife to the kitchen this is the thing is look big offensive linemen have body dysmorphia okay I I don't know if you guys know this offensive lineman they put on a brave face but they're actually really they have problem they have body image issues uh offensive lineman and it's because they have these like they have big nut sacks but they have like little turtle shells on the tip for dicks and stuff they have like they very small little dicks and uh and his wife kind of looks like a [ __ ] Taylor Swift on a [ __ ] who takes testosterone uh like they got married at a [ __ ] men's tea clinic and and so he [ __ ] made the uh he said like you know because of the Harrison Buckner thing he was like riffing on it like hey go make me a sandwich and so she started and he kind of walked in the kitchen and she looked down and he had already closed the bread with his hand in the middle and he said a knuckle sandwich and smacked her as hard as he could in the face allegedly hypothetically and she she's laying on the ground and he and he said how you know that's the thing about women who want to go to work they don't know how to walk tall um like a real man and and he helped her up into the Lugar rack and he was just like you [ __ ] lesbian just giving her the Luger rack and stuff um and then he took her in the in the bedroom he's like you're gonna get a job a [ __ ] [ __ ] and you [ __ ] and then he got off and got off her and she had to go pee the goop out and and to get a shower and she's all gooey and slimy and stuff and he said you still want to [ __ ] go to work you you [ __ ] go can go out back to the above ground pool and you can [ __ ] uh and you can get the net and you can [ __ ] skim it for leaves or you can leave how about that and you know and because um this is all allegedly and hypothetically uh uh but um you know this guy's not built for fame something bad's going to happen soon him and Travis Kelce they're not built for fame cuz Fame is not friendly it's not fun it's actually like really mean and cynical and sad and [ __ ] he's just not built for fame and the more he starts to express his opinion and put himself out there unless he turns himself into Mankind and wrestling or something and he starts walking around with his face and a [ __ ] uh Bane mask and and doing Mr Sako and doing dude love and stuff and and blaming a CTE on having multiple wrestling characters that live inside of his body then he's gonna he's going to start to struggle especially with a wife who looks like she starts on a college softball team um you know he had to tell her he's like you gotta [ __ ] I don't know what you got to do but you got to [ __ ] stop uh freestyle swimming up at the YMCA bab your shoulders are getting too big for that spaghetti strap and I'd also stop eating spaghetti and and so and and you I don't want you to go to work so you can sit in a cubicle and guys can make up excuses to walk back and forth and think about how bad they want to [ __ ] uh you know install a camera in the toilet the women's bathroom and watch you take a [ __ ] and all these things he's trying to tell her he's like that's why you don't want a job and he told her he said why why uh you know why do you why do you want to go to you don't want to go work in the WWF you don't want to go you don't want to go [ __ ] uh work in women's gymnastics you don't want to [ __ ] uh you don't want to do any hard jobs you know all these all these women they're [ __ ] I didn't hear any of them complaining in the social media contents that they wanted to be the air traffic controllers on 911 none of them were saying any of that [ __ ] and you know [ __ ] are you the reason those planes flew in the building is because you have a [ __ ] and you know what I'm saying they have to and they're not gonna they can't and he and he's trying to talk to her about this he's like look you get to pretend to be a [ __ ] good parent because you're living off my paycheck and you got peace and quiet and you can sit on the couch and you can [ __ ] take a Xanax and you can drink mind and you can [ __ ] go get your tongue pierced and and why aren't your titties pierc I'm trying to get a tax break on breast implants I don't understand why I don't you have a BBL or Botox you [ __ ] I make enough money you think you could make yourself a little more Mommy and and he's like I'll send you on a [ __ ] mommy makeover back to your middle class [ __ ] mom in in the Middle America and you can [ __ ] uh you can have a m mommy makeover $15 an hour as a [ __ ] Dental receptionist because you're not going to date a [ __ ] D1 star anymore unless you start giving me more dick [ __ ] and you know the the normal conversations that you have with women at at home all the time and that you you tell your wife all the time you're like oh happy wife happy life how about if I take your life and you know what I'm saying and and she and that just the things that you would just say you know you're like oh take out threaten them you know if you talk to me like that you're G to start taking the trash out and and you know and you [ __ ] uh and she's like well you're well that means I would have to put you in the can because you're garbage and you just grab her what the [ __ ] did you say to me say it say it to my [ __ ] uh friendly face I'm gonna smile at you and I'm gonna walk away unless you say that [ __ ] again and then I'm gonna [ __ ] come back here and I'm gonna [ __ ] uh uh uh start cooking and cleaning and doing chores so I don't have to think about choking you and she and she what did you [ __ ] say and he just gets you your wife just [ __ ] bully and belittles you and plays with your balls not that much and and he [ __ ] I got you an above ground pool and she's and yeah well how are we gonna fit all the people in our family I want a real [ __ ] pool and I just started a [ __ ] podcast you know how hard it is to get paid to live stream you're [ __ ] you said you were going to give me a life on a lake well I have to [ __ ] uh I have to go live again and again and again and again and you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] and and your friends and followers don't [ __ ] care about yes they do they're my fake Internet friends my followers they're my digital friends and you I don't [ __ ] care you're dumb if you f you're [ __ ] dumb and you're like oh yeah why don't you come here and sit down on the couch and deal with my body dysmorphia and I'll grab my guitar and sing you [ __ ] wagon wheel for the rest of your life is my [ __ ] wife and and they and as he's tuning it down to drop D and it [ __ ] and uh and so there's a lot that goes into women going to work you know he told her he said you get to stand on the back porch and and and smoke smoke a cigarette and then you can come inside and pour a drink that's a lot different than you having a day job and you got to get in your [ __ ] dumb car and you got to sit at a red light and breathe in the uh exhaust behind a [ __ ] cement truck uh the garbage truck you're waiting hurry up get the can I got a [ __ ] go clock in and and you want to clock in on some [ __ ] and and and [ __ ] I'll give you I'll pay your salary and he told her he's like you know even even know we're married I'm not afraid to leave some money on the [ __ ] uh I got some money in my clip right now if you sucked me off I'll pay you like a prostitute and we just won't tell people that I have to pay you for [ __ ] I'll do anything please can I just get some [ __ ] and and all the conversations that you have with your wife 247 um and we're talking about them going to work and all he's trying to do is get her to jerk him off and Jack him off and not call him a jackass and there's so many things that go into a a relationship and you know all he wants things to go into is her rectum and I don't know what to do um go get a stupid [ __ ] day job I'll stay home with the dogs and then see how many days you work before you turn into one of the dogs that's what he [ __ ] told her and then I'll put a collar on your neck and and and I'll [ __ ] walk you on a leash for the rest of your [ __ ] life how about that and she's like let me live my life and he's like fine go ahead get out of here go be a sta Farm agent and have a sexy email signature picture I don't [ __ ] care No One's Gonna sign up for stupid insurance it's too expensive everybody's just hoping they don't [ __ ] die and if they do they're just not paying their [ __ ] hospital bills and you're not gonna have any money and you could have just stayed home and got paid to be Mommy and she everything she says he has a [ __ ] answer for and then they just apologize and they're like you want to have a drink yeah I'll have a drink and then they just [ __ ] uh and he's just like can we just do it please and then we he they have sex and She lays there like a dead body and he [ __ ] uh and he comes and he pulls his basketball shorts up and they go back out to the couch and they watch TV and they [ __ ] go to sleep and they wake up and it's just the same day over and over again for the rest of their life and so um God bless you guys and blah blah blah blue blue blue