LIVE! 🔴 LOL with Hilarious Pairs of Little Britain and Come Fly With Me | Lucas and Walliams

Peter sorry Judith when we boarded the flyow cruise liner we were shown to our quarters in the bowels of the ship only to discover that our cabin was flooded way steep with sea water but we thought oh H let's get on with it it's only our bottom halfes they're going to get wet so we set sail Peter I'm talking it's very rude sorry Judas so we set sail and we only just left the port at Athens when it emerged that all 780 passengers on board the vessel had contracted you had to queue for 14 Peter you and I are going to come to blows in a minute you had to queue for 14 hours to use the L Well we'd been waiting 13 hours and it was very nearly our turn when we heard gunshots and discovered that the boat had been boarded by Pirates they rounded up all the pass pet they rounded up all the passengers on deck and singled out Peter and I and took us hostage which meant we missed the buffet we were then taken to a room and told that one of us was going to have to perform six seual ax upon the Pirates at gunpoint well I put my hand in the air and volunteered Peter but before my husband had a chance to engage in anything other than mile foreplay with three of the men the boat was stormed by the Greek Coast Guard there was a shoot out bodies everywhere and just as I thought surely this Cruise can't get any worse we discovered that the cab that night was John Baran that's when I Boke on want I get in yeah I'll get you in in a minute I just got to find a LIF guard to help you get in you wait there okay I want to get in in a minute um excuse me I wonder if you give me a hand I'm here with a friend who you may have seen is in a wheelchair and I need a little bit of help getting him in and out of the pool now I mean getting him in the pool is not really a good puffle get him out of the pool isn't really a good puffle I mean he relatively kff free but he does have a slight fear of War you know he he likes the water but he's not a strong swimmer is really doggy paddle if anything and really we just need to help him get in and out because I like him to go swimming CU it's good exercise you know what I mean and so really I think it's just a case of me maybe taking the upper body and you maybe taking yeah the leg the the lower body and just lowering him in very gently so s we I'm going to help you in right oh how are we going to do this did you show yeah Simon and Jackie Trent are Britain's first husband and wife pilot team set heading 092 heading 092 set set speed 470 speed 470 I haven't finished setting the speed yet Simon can we just do one thing at time please right the speed is set well I've been flying commercially for 15 years now and Jackie was a dental nurse I was a dental hygienist there is a difference you you know that Simon you do know that he does know that and then Jackie felt she wanted to retrain and become a pilot he had an affair he had an affair with one of the stewardesses it wasn't an affair it was a one night thing well that makes it worse how does that make it worse it just does I did what any woman would do I spent 5 years retraining as a pilot and now I come on all the flights with him we decided it was the best way forward yeah you decided it was the best please don't undermine me all the time Simon yes 5 years later here I am qualified as a first officer and it saved our marriage it's allowed us to trust each other again isn't it yeah where you going Simon I'm just going to the toilet you went to the toilet over Norway that was over an hour ago who you going to be talking to Simon who you going to be screwing in the toilets well it's not always easy uh you know living together working together yeah I mean we have squabbles like any married couple not like any married couple when one of them's had an affair so I'm going to put these here and here okay yeah why so you can do toilet when I'm not here yeah I know so we think one here yes yeah and one here yes yeah cuz I'm going to have to drill into the wo you know yeah I know could you uh pass me the drill I can't is you right I finished do you want to come and have a look right here we go T what' you reckon yeah like what's it for so you can do toilet when I'm not here yeah I know you want to try it out yeah all right I will leave you to [Music] it how you getting on right so prime minister the meeting with the trade and Industry secretary has now been rescheduled for 6:15 fine so the chancellor has been moved to 7 hi yeah oh hello yes um Sebastian this is uh Gregory Merchant he has come to us from the treasury hello Sebastian nice to meet you whatever um sorry prime minister can I have a word well can't it wait it's kind of important prime minister uh Gregory would you you of course who was that Gregory he a new boy at the treasur he's rather good oh is he yeah he's got a double F at Cambridge really knows his stuff I don't like him why is that I see the way he looks at you what about it he was looking at you like he loves you I don't think so it's sad he's obviously got some kind of mad Crush you prime minister I think it's very unlikely it's true he gets our whole kind of nervous when he's around [Applause] you is that everything yes do you want to get up no could you call Gregory back in Gregory I think he's gone so anyway as I was say Gregory come in please Sebastian's just leaving could you show him out [ __ ] sorry about that um where were we oh you're meeting with the chancellor oh yes yes fine oh you smell nice have you seen anything you might like it yeah I want that one on that one yeah well that is priz and Prejudice yeah know well I'm not sure you like that one oh that one well it's all fit in the olden days no I'm not sure you like that you like your Chuck Norris's and your Steven cig girl yeah I know well just to be on the safe side why don't we get a film with guns in it as well just in case you don't like this one I that one you know I'm going to go and see Maria tonight so I can't take it back and get another one if you don't like it yeah I know you sure you want this one yep I don't like it well I'm sorry but you're stuck with it I told you I've got to go and see Maria look I'll be back around [Music] thick yeah monster trucks monster trucks I would like a complaint form please what's the problem well we booked a holiday through your so-call company and we have had the holiday from hell it was our anniversary so we booked to go to Cyprus it all started when we got off the plan yes thank you Peter it all started when we got off the plane and discovered that the flyow hotel complex hadn't been built yet it was just a mound of Earth well that was our first disappointment but we thought ho home let's got on with it and we dug a hole in the ground and stayed there oh we booked for a continental V yes thank you Peter we booked for a continental breakfast meats and cheeses a selection of pastries a choice of tea or coffee but there was no food at all not the sausage yeah you're now complicating matters Peter because In fairness to fly low they never promis sausages sorry j my apology accepted Peter yes there was no food whatsoever but we thought hoam no point feeling sorry for ourselves and we survived on a diet of insects and grubs I'm a vegetarian so I just at soil yes I was coming to that Peter Peter is a vegetarian so he just ate sa now the problem was I don't know if the so hadn't been cooked properly but Peter had a very very bad upset stomach loose stools oh Peter don't be disgusting we don't need to hear about that sorry Jud this Peter had very loose stalls and for the remainder of the trip was lying on the ground clutching his guts with a cork up his anus wasn't the worst holiday we've been on but it's certainly up there can I have please a whie with a flake have you decided what you have in yeah what do you want then just a cone and another whippy plane please no just a cone well just a cone on its own no with pee yeah it's going to be very dry yeah know tell you what why don't you have just a little bit of ice cream in it you like ice cream you said it was a perfect compliment to hot summer's day yeah I know so what's it to be cone and then just a cone on its own thank you I want a whippy Simon and Jackie Trent are Britain's first husband and wife pilot Team 5 years ago Simon had an affair but the couple are Keen to put the incident behind them having retrained as a pilot Jackie now accompanies Simon on all his flights obviously it can be stressful you you live together you work together you I don't find it stressful what I'm saying is you know sometimes there is that danger that you've had a row at home and you bring it into work no not a problem for me swift bird 240° to intercept the ILS 240° to intercept the ILS swift bird swi when established clear to descend on the ILS Runway 27 right report at for Delta clear to descend on the ILS swift bird can I just say you've got a really lovely voice uh thank you yeah You' just got really lovely velvety tones thanks I'm first officer Jackie Trent by the way uh I'm Nigel Stow uh nice to speak to you Jackie out are you on Facebook repeat that over are you on Facebook over Jackie I just really want to see what you look like uh for the record I'm tall I've got black hair and a mustache you sound hot over Jackie we've begun out of scent I need you to concentrate oh excuse me Simon I'm not the one who screwed someone else just to say you're clear for Final Approach thank you did you Sky PL strictly yes right just going to go and pick up Maria is there anything you need me to do before I go yeah I want a chocolate I bought these chocolates when Maria comes around what is choca all right you can have one there which one do you want that one that one yeah well that's dark chocolate yeah I know well you don't like dark chocolate I know you always said dark chocolate has a bitter Edge to it and lacks the oraly of its milky cin hell no well why don't you have the caramel tub then you like the caramel tub it's caramel I want that one well going back on this sh yeah don't like her I did warn you yeah another one just to take the taste away no you can have another one when Maria get here and not before see you later the results of the opinion poll come through Sebastian yeah I've got them right here prime minister what sort of things are people saying well they're very happy with your work on Northern Island um a strong approval on your Health Service reforms um they'd like to see you in shorts shorts yeah Prime just a pair of cycling shorts or something um they like the fact that you're assuming a tough stance on crime and they like it when your hairs of it cuz you look kind of sofy prime minister they like to see you wrestle a man I'm sorry a boser good education could do better wrestling men I've covered can I have a look at them yeah uh just right here um now um rail track oh oh you got an eyelash stay still stay still make a wish darling there's your suit for the treasury dinner now we're running very late so you'll have to get changed here oh thank you darling yes have you seen my earrings I don't know darling which ones oh oh you do know Sebastian don't you oh hello Sebastian Hi how are you fine sorry we're having a meeting here have you tried the bathroom of course now don't be long see you later Dary I'm not going I talking to my wife bye Sebastian whatever so anyway um oh god I've completely forgot what I was going to say thanks for coming in and I I really should get changed now uh yeah yes of course of course and uh you'll have a word with the foreign secretary about Tuesday yeah I I I'll get straight onto it Prim Minister great oh yes can you approve the budget overspend by first thing on Monday because it's quite big yes Sebastian now if you don't mind um quick prime minister get down what's going on I thought there was a sniper prime minister where by the window but there isn't can we get up now give it a minute right now you know it's declan's birthday coming up who Declan your brother yeah I know was his birthday coming up and you got to get him a card now can you see any you like I want that one that one yeah that says with deepest sympathy H well that's what you send someone when somebody died want that one well I'm not sure declan's going to like that it's going to send out the wrong message no Declan likes Sailing Boat why don't we get one with with Sailing Boat on it I want that one this one's got a sailing boat you like sailing boats that one are you sure this is the card you want to send your brother Declan for his birthday yeah yeah yeah she birthday is Not Dead by way of apology for the previous debacle flyo offered us a very good deal on a package holiday to Columbia now as soon as we came out of botar as soon as we came out of bogatar airport Peter was bitten by rabid dog within minutes he was howling and foaming at the mouth my first thought was can I have Peter put down I looked into it but the doctor said it was unethical yes thank you Peter but the doctors said it was unethical Peter became more and more ill I had diarrhea and was projectile vomiting Peter don't be so cruel sorry Judas Peter had diarrhea and was projectile vomiting if you'd spun him round You' have thought it was a Catherine wheel so we decided so I decided that the best course of action was to take the first plane home now while we were waiting at the airport very Charming Man called Carlos approached me and offered me $5,000 to take his briefcase through customs I had reservations Peter had reservations but we were saving up for loft conversion so I said yes and gave the briefcase to Peter to carry well we learned it in English Peter if I could just get a word in edgeway sorry j this I should hope so too Peter when we landed in England Peter was stopped at Customs they searched the briefcase and found 20 kg of cocaine with a street value of half a million Peter was arrested and is looking at a prison sentence of no less than 12 years if I had toate the holiday out of five I'd struggled to give it more than three you sure you don't mind just sitting here for a bit and watching yeah you sure yeah the last time we came here you said it was boring you said that Tov and de's barom routine aside ice skting with aesthetically bankrupt yeah wel all right I'll only be 20 minutes or so oh um which Cris you want I want that one the cheese and the onion right and I want that one right you in a bit then oh wish me luck [Music] [Applause] Catch Me Breath You Can Do Simon and Jackie are Britain's first husband and wife flying team but ever since Simon had an affair 5 years ago the couple have had a stormy relationship need to have your back waxed as well well it's disgusting like going to B the monkey fuel left and right tank 2 and A2 during the preparation for today's flight Jackie has spotted a familiar name on the star froster she's on the plane she's on the plane St is who slept with Simon she's capping crew today there she is over there she doesn't know me but I know her oh yes not as attractive as I thought she must have put on weight probably the guilt look at her I'm dressing those men with their eyes welcome on board welcome on board that's what she said to Simon just before he put it in her holiday in Glasgow April the 27th 2005 it was a Thursday I'm not going to mention it though I've moved on ladies and gentlemen welcome on board this Great British airf flight 287 to Barcelona we'll be taking off in just a few minutes our cabin crew on board today will be happy to help you in any way they can especially Sally Wix who will get down on her knees to help you just don't leave her alone with your husbands ladies because Sally Wix is nothing more than a troll no Simon I'm going to say it Sally Wix is a jezebel she's a home wrecker she's the [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] of the Skies enjoy the flights do you want cream or ice cream with your apple pie tonight ice cream good cuz we've got some in the freezer we for got the most the most no we got plenty of those that H yeah oh no look what some silly ass has done I can't get the van out now oh well you wait here I'll see if I can find someone oh what thck a fuffle going miss my hero you is not a l i can do I'll be as quick as I can my hero go I know I don't think we need you anymore come on what about the broad Chet um The Guardian Go With byelection Disaster for government times prime minister Under Fire Telegraph black day for PM all right Sebastian yeah I've just got something in my eye prime minister that's all independent hold feet puts pm on the ropes want a tissue no I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine what about the Tablo what do the sun say oh no what no no I can't show you oh come on it can't be all that bad I've said your dead is a doo you're not as dead as a doo all right SP you're not as dead as a doo come on you're being very silly as well it it really doesn't matter don't get upset about it I I I'm not upset about it I want you to be prime minister forever well well I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet we're good hello yeah okay thank you I'll be down thank you my C's here Sebastian I have to leave now okay where are we going thank you Sebastian that will be all [Applause] now playing the roots of chesington is really just straight down the a217 so if we get our skates on we'll be on the log FL by lunch time I don't want to go you've been going on nonstop about it for weeks chesington World Adventures this chesington world adventur that yeah I know where do you want to go instead France France yeah but I thought you hated France I thought you said the French could never be forgiven for surrendering to the German war machine and collaborating with their occupi to set up the V government yeah I know tting in it is then I want to go France cross with their years I want to go chesington after Jackie's Outburst on the plane she and Simon have some news yes I decided that the best thing to do was for us to separate well actually I said it first yeah but I thought of it before you said it so technically Simon it was my decision yeah I mean we're still working together obviously uh we're still living together we've only got one bedroom so we're still sharing a bed the only difference really is that we're not physically intimate with each other well we haven't been for 5 Years anyway no so I've just started dogging really yes fance where' you do that in the coldest attack what and other people are there having sex yes all having a gay old time anyone I know I don't know I've any seen them from ways down so have you seen anything you fancy yeah I want that one that one yeah well that is a book on Chinese history yeah know where you know you weren't even looking at it yeah I know it all looks a bit involved really now how about that book I was telling you about in the van about the cave boy who lives in a Rubbish Tip s of the dump I don't want that one that is Chinese language and its Origins again it uh it might be a little bit hard for you I want to all right you got these two now you allow one more or should we see if we can find S of the dump that one that one yeah that is the same one as you've got there well you sure you want these three yeah you're positive yeah all right let's go and get them stamped so are you happy with your choices yeah you're sticking with these three yeah good I can't read so it is with great reluctance that I have decided to accept The Minister's resignation I'll take a few questions a boy Hilton Smash Hits prime minister do you admit that the foreign secretary lied to the house I've answered that question already next Greg Davis Puzzler have you appointed a replacement we'll be making an announcement shortly Angus Thomas Kang who's next to go from your cabinet there will be no more resignations from my cabinet Roy Sloan whizard and chips are you concerned You've Lost Your strongest Ally in the cabinet there is no Rift in the cabinet Andrew jman dinosaur magazine what was your Rea sorry I don't know that one it's new you get a free binder with part one you collect it over 24 weeks it's everything you need to know about dinosaurs oh yeah go ahead uh well I'm sorry I forgotten the question uh Roger wakeley Asian babes um given your support of yet another disgraced Minister don't you think that your all position has become untenable certainly not one more question George Paxton Daily Telegraph yes who's your favorite member of Westlife [Applause]