hey you missing your fix of Disney Star Wars the Acolyte and currently craving even more shows featuring a miserable feminist girl boss determined to avenge her dead relatives and by unknowingly teaming up with the very people who killed him and then lied about it to her for years want to enjoy classic English literature adapted for the screen but thought recent efforts like Dorian Gray Alice in Wonderland and the BBC's Great Expectations weren't quite disrespectful enough or do you just want to enjoy a show with fiend so fearsome they could be taken out by a teenage Philip P boy and his clueless mom it was super easy barely an inconvenience well if I got just a series for you fella I give you the Lord of the Rings a waste of half a billion dollars it you I mean the rings of power a series so thrilling Amazon spent $90 million per episode but still somehow couldn't afford two lead actors with more than one facial expression nor could it pay for competent writers to tell a convincing love story nor cast performers with a single spark of chemistry and at one point even has the small human woman saved the T Immortal elf from a midnight or attack like a right the show Stars more fitty Clark and Ismael K qu in the lead roles as elves gadriel and arand who are on a mission to save the realm from the forces of supposedly long dead dark lord and whilst both looking Marly constipated all the time cuz turns out said dark lord called saaron once did a bunch of bad things and even even tra stamped her brother to DARE a brother who also has the squarest jaw outside of a Pixar movie at that so she totally wants sweet sweet Vengeance bro and to stop the Fulfillment of an ancient prophecy which talks about ruining a once peaceful land and then creating a chaotic realm where evil thrives no not Chicago but some fiery hell Dimension called moral based on the classic works of English writer Jr toi and setting the fictional second age of Middle Earth the fight against evil is soon taken up by a whole range of other colorful characters including a gender flip Frodo and Sam wise Gangi AKA nor and Poppy Haro who can't be called Hobbit here for legal reasons presumably a strange giant bloke what falls out the sky so hard to gives himself Amnesia and also exposes himself to small girls for some reason a new minori in Queen Muriel who's the most stunning and brave minority queen of color on the small screen since Channel 5's andin show a few years back and speaking of minority representation and Dei inclusivity this show truly has it all including a whole underground city of vertically challenged individuals of limited stature like Prince Duran and his wife daa who was the first black female dwarf without beard in all of Lord of the Rings history who's and turns out this Juran F has a passive aggressive soap oper of bromance with an elf Prince called elro who also cursed with having the flattest face in all of elfland and looks like he fell face first between a sandwich Presser he that's [ __ ] up anyway chalk for the star studed cameos including a budget Emma Watson looky likey bird with one hell of a forehead some sort of Aladdin doppelganger who constantly talks in the sea the is always right a giant flaming ball rocket tees who gets pissed off about a bunch of midgets littering in his cave feral dog creatures what look a bit like Steve Bui did the moap for who CLS cos players what love starting forest fires for some reason and even sir Lenny of the Henry's as the leader of the haroot clan who spends most of his days moaning and even fat shaming members of his own tribe and who at one point apparently watches an episode of rings of power projected into the sky G seems to fall asleep and die on the spot out of sheer borom and which to be fair it's probably the most relatable thing in this bloody show yep Lord of the Rings the rings of power is a multi-million dollar epic cringe fantasy like you've never seen it before well unless you've seen similar recent television efforts like the willow series and which of blood origin spin off I suppose and what's another series which features a totally embarrassing ter from Lenny Henry who seems to be trying to convince his audience that he can make him fall asleep with his acting as well as his so-called comedy routines never told you this before but I find you incredibly attractive Perry this is a children's program can take it off the air for a while so we can get to know each other better sounds good to me fanc you Dan ribbit oh I wanted to say that yep the show is a riping ride through highly original drum themes and Dres like they need to always defend what you love and having the 5'4 tiny woman fically smack up a bunch of BLS and armed guards and even a giant [ __ ] off cave troll all on their own because starting a brave feminism bro there is a tempest in me ooh you're hard showing off written by a pair of inexperienced hacks whose credits before this show include absolutely [ __ ] all and just makes you wonder what on Earth they did two or four execs behind the scenes to land sole responsibility to run the most expensive TV show ever made the series was a Smash Hit with fans and critics alive well if by Smash Hit you mean smash a fist against the wall given how law breaking and topic cring this show is give me the meat and give it to me all oh no goes off tra and nobodys alone that's right nobody goes off tra and nobody walks alone [ __ ] you and what's full of such adherance to Scientific reality the volcanic ash makes the queen blind but doesn't seem to affect anyone's lungs or ability to breathe properly at all which is sad because the show does attempt to ask deep philosophical questions about human nature like is Vengeance really worth the toll on our soul and what should we do about the legions of ugly crusty creatures will keep Marching for violence in the street plus mostly peacefully destroying public property and terrorizing innocent civilians and screaming or lives matter ultimately the rings of power is a series that's become a rather guilty pleasure for me over the years given it even represents highly relatable neuro divergencies like when elron has an OCD flare up and has to bump fist against the wall multiple times while singing a little ride Rich Crown kiss the Stone Polish your gems and go and also because of how utterly based it is at times like when how brand hilariously list all of gal's negative character trait straight to her face and I suppose you did having met her for all of a few moments during which you managed to demand a ship insult her people defy her orders none of which quickened her pulse and just makes you wonder why they built the most expensive show ever made around such an insufferable Charisma vacum what even most of the other characters seem to hate I mean cheer up love you're stuck on a small raft with a Calin cly model yeah no wonder everyone gets literal blue balls around this frigid bird [Laughter] wom so what's the verdict can I recommend this series well depends on if you can stomach an ideologically infested Amazon show going full Pro communism by having workers of a labor camp literally throw down their chains and rise up against their soulless fascist Masters the downplaying of disabilities like when Nori tries to bond with budget G Al by saying she fell out of tree Once and kept pronouncing straw bre as Pig bre and thereby casually dismissing dangerous concussions and head trauma for cheap laughs and also if you can bear to suffer such a respectful commitment to law that the supposed 6'4 galadrial of the source material is made to look like a bonified dwarf person by a simple normalized human man what and that's before you even get onto the god awful slow-mo horse riding scenes what looked like they were shot by Zack Snider trying to remake some kind of dodgy feminine hygiene advert from the early '90s and absolutely dire righty such as the half's entire Clan being based around nobody going off Trail and then instantly having the two lead fake Hobbits spending the first two EPS doing exactly that and the Bloody painful lack of confidence in leaving anything to subtext like when Gandalf is inspired by Nori to choose the path of life and they wisely decide to illustrate this by having him stand up to the witches and put out the fires himself but then go on to explicitly make him say he is not here the other the he is I'm good a cringey mistake even repeated from a similar moment from episode 7 when King juring rips off his son's Crest to imply that he's not worthy of it anymore but then turns around and explicitly States it out loud leave it it's not yours anymore cuz I guess the writers think R bra dead madon totally incapable of ever possibly comprehending their genius writing skills anyway at the end of the day I suggest making your own mind up about this one so I guess you just need to ask yourself a few questions have you always wondered what a show would be like if the lead character started off as smug patronizing and arrogant and ended it just as if not more smug patronizing and arrogant and even has the cheat to lecture others about the virtues of humility despite being cursed with permanent resting Beach face and also being a depressive egotistical drain that she can't even must a smile when finding herself on a boat full of hunky guys and when most normal women would think all their Christmases have come at once have you always wanted to watch a lot of the Ring show where the titular rings of power finally turn up 7 hours and 58 minutes into an 8 Hour series or have you always just wanting to enjoy a lazy fantasy program filled with so much plot armor that small human women can survive a brutal Village fight a nasty Arrow wound and even a giant fuckof volcanic eruption all within a single 24-hour period and still all be totally fine well if so then Lord of the Rings the rings of power my friend it's the multi-million dollar series made by cynical corporate e-commerce company what don't pay a single fair share of sing taxes in the UK for you [Music]