Trump Claims He's More Popular Than Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce Inspires Haircuts Across Nation

-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show." You're here, everybody. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here. [ Cheers and applause ] You guys, everyone is getting excited for the Super Bowl, and I actually saw that people are actually betting on how many times the cameras will show Taylor Swift. Of course, the cameras will show Taylor. The question is, will they show the game? That's what... Speaking of the Super Bowl, according to barbers, a lot of people have been asking for the Travis Kelce cut. Here's what it looks like. Yeah, it looks good. There are actually some other NFL-inspired haircuts that are taking off, too. For example, this first one is inspired by Greg Dulcich. It's called the Kenny G. Um, next one. This one's inspired by Roy Lopez. This is called... Here's one that's by Alex Anzalone. It's called... This next one's inspired by Jack Stoll. It's called... [Gravelly voice] "Call me Dad. You can call me Dad if you want to." [ Imitates engine revving ] Do donuts in the front yard. Finally, here's one inspired by Raiders owner Mark Davis. Yeah. This one's called... There you have it, everybody. That's great options. We should have him on the show. I like Mark Davis. Well, people are talking about this. Former President Trump has been telling people that he's more popular than Taylor Swift and has more committed fans. I'm not sure Trump has more committed fans, but he definitely has more fans who have been committed. -Oh-ayy! [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Yeah, Trump has apparently claimed that he's more popular than Taylor Swift, has more committed fans. It sounds ridiculous, but if you look closely, it turns out Taylor and Trump actually have a lot in common. -Really? -Yeah. For instance, Taylor is the most streamed artist on Spotify, passing Bad Bunny... while Trump passed a cognitive test where he said he knew which animal was the bunny. [ Laughter ] [As Trump] "Uh...that...this one!" [ Applause ] Next up, Taylor is great at hiding Easter eggs in her songs, while Trump is terrible at hiding classified documents in his homes. [As Trump] "Don't look in the bathroom!" Up next, Taylor is famous for her pouty red lips... while Trump is famous for his pouting orange face. [ Applause ] Next up, Taylor puts her name on friendship bracelets... while Trump has monogrammed handcuffs. Oh, that's -- Wow. And finally, Taylor is affectionately known as "Mother"... while Trump is often known as "Defendant." There you have it. Very similar. I'm just saying. They have a lot in common. Speaking of Trump, after just being ordered to pay $83 million in his defamation case, the judge in his civil-fraud trial could soon rule that he has to pay another $370 million. -Ooh. -Trump could lose almost half a billion dollars in less than a week. Instead of Taylor Swift, he should be comparing himself to Elon Musk. [ Laughter ] Hey, I saw that a new survey found 40% of people have ended a relationship over a poor financial decision. It's sad when the last words in a relationship are... "You bought a mechanical bull?" [ Laughter ] Well, this is going viral. A Pizza Hut in Canada put up a sign to notify customers that they were closing their dining room due to unforeseen circumstances, but they made a slight spelling error and said due to unforeseen "circumcisions." -Oh. [ Cymbal crashes ] -Ohh! [ Sad tuba plays ] I don't think that's what most people have in mind when they say, "You want to go for a slice?" [ Laughter ] And finally, you guys, today is the last day of January. -Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] -So I thought it'd be nice to give a little recap of the entire month. Thank you very much. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪ January has gone by ♪ ♪ A lot of people did it dry ♪ ♪ Tomorrow, no more being healthy ♪ ♪ We'll all drink like ♪ -A shirtless Jason Kelce. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -♪ Trump says he's mentally fit ♪ ♪ Cognitive test is legit ♪ ♪ But wait a second, here's the thing ♪ ♪ All his answers were... ♪ -Ding ding, ding ding ding ding. ♪♪ -♪ Ron DeSantis came up short ♪ ♪ Pun intended, little sport ♪ ♪ Bad numbers in every poll ♪ ♪ People care more about ♪ -The Chicago rat hole. ♪♪ -♪ Boeing had a few close calls ♪ ♪ Doors fell off and fireball ♪ ♪ But the biggest threat I heard today is the... ♪ -Foot-long chocolate-chip cookie at Subway. ♪♪ -♪ Record rallies for the stocks ♪ ♪ Mob-wife style on TikTok ♪ ♪ Stanley cups may lead to fights ♪ ♪ Better bulk up like... ♪ -Jeremy Allen White. ♪♪ -♪ All the awards went to "The Bear" ♪ ♪ Fun to watch, but do not work there ♪ ♪ "Oppenheimer" left me shaken ♪ ♪ At least I'm not... ♪ -A man in Alabama facing charges after diving into a Bass Pro Shops aquarium completely naked. ♪♪ -♪ January, say goodbye ♪ ♪ Now it's February's time ♪ ♪ We all got a common goal ♪ ♪ Get Taylor to the Super Bowl ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] We have a great show! Give it up for the The Roots, everybody! ♪♪ ♪♪ Come on. Thank you, guys. [ Imitates percussion ] We have a great show for you tonight. He's one of the biggest stars in the world and one of the nicest guys in the world, too. We love him. He's here with us tonight. Arnold Schwarzenegger is here tonight! The one and only! [ Cheers and applause ] Plus, you can see her in the new movie "Lisa Frankenstein," in theaters February 9th. Kathryn Newton is joining us! [ Cheers and applause ] And we got great music from The Lemon Twigs! -Oh! [ Cheers and applause ] -Yo! Uh, happy days, everybody. Happy days. You know what I've been I've been obsessed with lately? -What? -I'm playing this online game. Have you guys played Connections? -Oh, yeah. -Know what I'm talking about? It is -- It's my jam right now. And -- But the day got away from me. I didn't play it today. I thought maybe it'd be kind of fun if we played it together. [ Cheers and applause ] Want to do it? It's time for "Tonight Show" Connections. Here we go. -♪ "Tonight Show" Connections ♪ ♪ La la la la... ♪ -Okay, so, the way it works is there are 16 random words or phrases, and our goal is to find four groups of four words that share a common theme, alright? Once we have one, I click "submit" and see if we're right. So look at these words. See if you see any -- Do you any of them look f-- Higgins, you see anything? -I think I do. I think I see, like, commercial mascots. Burger King, Mr. Peanut, Tony the Tiger, and Kool-Aid Man. -Commercial-- Yeah. Alright. Let me try that. [ Ding ] Yeah. Oh, they're Trump's top picks for his VP. -Oh. -But that's good. It's still good. Still works. -Still a win, right? -Still works. That's still a match. Yeah. Quest, you got one? I hear you... -Yeah. Um... Let's see. We got luxury items. I see Rolex, diamond necklace, yacht, and Rolls-Royce. -Alright. Let me check those ones out. Let's see. Here we go. Diamond necklace... Yeah. Rolls-Royce. But those are things less expensive than a Super Bowl ticket. Again, not what I was expecting, but it's a match. -Yeah. They are correct. -Mark, do you want to try one? -Yeah, sure. Uh, encouraging or positive words. There's great, awesome, fun, and cool. -That's interesting. Great, awesome, fun, and cool. Yeah, that's sarcastic response when someone pulls out an acoustic guitar. -Oh. -Hey, I just did that. -That was great. -It was great? -That was great. It was awesome. -You think it was cool? -So cool, so cool. -Uh... -Fun, too. -So I guess it just leaves us with gauze, latex glove, N95 mask, Band-Aid. So that's things in a hospital, I'm assuming, right? Let me see if I can select these. Items found in a Carnival Cruise hot tub. Oh, interesting. Well, we did it, guys. That's all the time we have for "Tonight Show" connections.

Share your thoughts