-Enjoy yourselves.
Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome,
welcome to "The Tonight Show." You are here.
Thank you for watching at home. [ Cheers and applause ] Well, guys, everyone's talking
about last night's debate between Vice President Harris
and former president Trump. And it seems like
most people agree it was a tough night for Trump. Yeah. We haven't seen a debate
performance that bad since, well, the last debate. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Afterward, Trump asked how he
did with his undecided voters, and his staff said, "Well,
they're not undecided anymore." [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, it wasn't Trump's
best night. About an hour into the debate,
even Vladimir Putin was like, "Uh, let's see
what's on 'Nyetflix.'" "Nyetflix."
-Yeah. [ Rimshot ]
-Thank you. This morning,
Trump said the debate was rigged and that ABC should be shut down
for fact-checking him, but that he still thought
he did great. [ Laughter ] Then ABC fact-checked him again
and said, "You did not." [ Laughter ] "Sorry to keep doing this.
You did not do great." [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, everyone thought
Harris seemed really prepared, while Trump was like,
"My homework was eaten by a dog that was eaten by people
in Ohio." [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] "That's..." That excuse again? There were so many
wild moments last night, but the craziest was
when Trump pushed a baseless conspiracy theory
about immigrants in Ohio. Take a look at this. -In Springfield,
they're eating the dogs, the people that came in,
they're eating the cats. They're eating -- They're eating the pets
of the people that live there. [ Laughter ] -It looks like Operation:
I'm Not Weird isn't going well. I mean, it was...
What? Of course, last night's
debate was especially important for undecided voters because they could determine
the election. We actually got in a room with
one of those undecided voters and got some real-time feedback, and it was fascinating
to see which issues really hit home for them.
Watch this. -So just turn the dial
to the left as you lose interest
and turn it to the right when you hear an issue
that really matters to you. Got it? -If you can come up with
a plan that's gonna cost less money and be better healthcare
than Obamacare, then I would absolutely do it. -Donald Trump left us
the worst unemployment since the Great Depression. -In Springfield,
they're eating the dogs, they're eating pets.
-[ Barking loudly ] -I mean, he really --
That guy was. "Enough!" [ Cheers and applause ] Big issue. [ Both laugh ] Meanwhile, another moment
people are talking about is when Trump was asked
whether he has a plan to replace Obamacare.
Listen to this. -So just a yes or no --
you still do not have a plan? -I have concepts of a plan. [ Laughter ] -This would be the part
of the "Shark Tank" episode where all the Sharks say,
"And for that reason, I'm out." [ Laughter ] Well, here to offer some insight on what the former president
meant by "concepts of a plan" is Trump policy adviser
Ben Flanagan. Ben, what exactly
did Trump mean? -Look, Trump meant
exactly what he said. He has concepts of a plan
that have emerged from both his pre-plan planning and his post-pre-plan
conceptualization. [ Laughter ] -Okay.
And what are those concepts? -Okay, not so fast, Jimmy. Once he's settled
on a concept of a plan, he'll need to plan out
that concept. And that plan will dovetail
into the ideation of a proposal for an intention. [ Laughter ] -And that intention is...? -To propose a plan concept. -I just feel like
people are gonna want to know what the actual plan is. -And you'll know that as soon as the concept
for the plan has been both devised
and formulated. -But there's still
nothing concrete. -Wrong. It's literally
engraved in concrete at our campaign headquarters. Take a look. "Think about the possibility
of considering the proposition to imagine an outline
for a theoretical suggestion of an aspiration." -Right, right.
But what would the plan be? -Plan B? That's actually a great name
for the plan! -All right.
Well, thanks. That's more than enough.
Thank you. Ben Flanagan, everybody.
I'm confused. Thank you, Ben, thank you.
-Plan B. Plan B! -Oh, and if Kamala Harris's
night wasn't good enough, after the debate ended,
she received an endorsement on Instagram from Taylor Swift.
-Whoa! [ Cheers and applause ]
Here it is. Yeah. Trump was like,
"See? She's eating her cat!" [ Laughter ] "Everyone's..." But everyone's talking about
how she signed it. Look how she signed it -- "Taylor Swift,
Childless Cat Lady." [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] And Taylor -- And Taylor
looked at Travis and said, "Now that's
how you spike the ball." Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Switching gears,
I heard that HBO is making a new
"Harry Potter" TV series, and right now,
they're casting kids to play Harry,
Ron, and Hermione. Yep, a "Harry Potter" TV series. Yeah, it's called "Harry Potter
and the Lack of New Ideas." [ Laughter, audience groans ] Kids? Kids playing Harry,
Ron, and Hermione? What would that be like? [ Laughter ] Been there-ius, done that-icus. [ Laughter ] Did you guys see this?
I read that a Carnival Cruise ship recently had a close call
after it grazed an iceberg. -Ooh.
-The ship is fine, but the iceberg
has chronic diarrhea. [ Laughter ] Well, get this.
I saw that a man in Idaho broke a world record by punching 327 balloons
in one minute. Then Trump broke that record
at his post-debate party. [ Laughter and applause ] Oh, finally, guys,
I want to remind you that my children's book, "Five More Sleeps
Till Halloween" is out now. And it is the heartwarming story of a boy and his dog
who are excited for Halloween that they can't sleep. It's available
wherever books are sold. It's "Five More Sleeps
Till Halloween." It's "Five More Sleeps...
Till Halloween." "Five More Sleeps till..." Give me a mic. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Jayson Tatum! ♪♪ It's Jayson Tatum, everybody.
Jayson Tatum. What are -- What are you, uh... What are --
What are you doing out here? -Yo, did I hear you rapping
about how your book is the best? -Yeah, Jayson, you did.
Why? -Give me a mic. [ Cheers and applause ] Yo, Quest, drop the beat. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Oh, my -- All right. Okay.
All right, all right. Jayson Tatum, everyone!
Jayson Tatum! We have a great show! Give it up for The Roots,
everybody! -♪ Unh, yeah ♪ ♪ Let's see if y'all can feel ♪ ♪ Unh, step up to The Roots,
I show you what's the deal ♪ ♪ Check it, unh ♪ ♪ It's about to be an event ♪ -Jayson Tatum. Guys, what a show we have
for you tonight. She is a talented actress
who stars in the new Marvel TV series,
"Agatha All Along," which premieres
September 18th on Disney+. Kathryn Hahn is here! [ Cheers and applause ] One of my faves. -Plus,
he is a five-time NBA All-Star, a two-time Olympic
gold-medalist, and a member of the
world champion Boston Celtics. His new children's book,
"Baby Dunks-a-Lot," is out now. Jayson Tatum is joining us. [ Cheers and applause ] And we have great stand-up
comedy from Nore Davis! [ Cheers and applause ] Also, just a quick reminder
that, guys, this Friday night, 11:35, on NBC,
sports history will be made. -What?
-I challenged DJ Khaled to a golf match --
four holes -- and the winner
gets a red cardigan sweater. It's the Cardigan Classic. It is family-friendly.
It is exciting. If you like the Super Bowl,
if you like the World Series, if you like the Olympics, then you're gonna love
the Cardigan Classic. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] Friday night, NBC.
People are saying -- -They're saying
it's the same level. -People say it's like
the same level. -I heard it's better.
-People are getting their cardigans out.
-Right. -Even if they don't have them, they're borrowing from
their grandmas, grandpas. They're going out to --
-Going to Lane Bryant, getting a new cardigan.
-They're going to Lane Bryant. They're going everywhere.
They're going to a -- -Pottery Barn?
-No, what's the other "Barn"? Ann Taylor Loft. Sorry.
They're going to Ann -- It's like a barn.
-Yeah, it's not a barn. -It's not a barn.
-Yarn Barn, yeah. -Yarn Barn.
-Yeah, making their own. -And they're making their -- People are out there
making their own sweaters. -Are you serious?
-Yes. Right now. If you go out, if you look
out the window, on the street... -Right.
-...kids walking around, crocheting, making cardigans.
[ Laughter ] Anyways, it's super fun. It's an hour, and it's --
it's -- it's just ridiculous. And, gosh, I love DJ Khaled.
He's unbelievable. But you know what?
Someone's gotta win, someone's gotta lose.
-Oh. -So, yeah, Khaled,
I'm gonna bring the boom! [ Cheers and applause ] Guys, I'm sorry
if I seem a little off. I can't stop thinking about
this nightmare I had last night. Or should I say "tonightmare." [ Thunder crashes,
woman screams ] There I was, walking through
an abandoned subway tunnel. I look both ways, but I couldn't
see the light at either end. The tunnel went on forever. That's when I saw it --
an old, rusty subway car sitting on the tracks. I was afraid to get too close, but the only way out
was through it. I took one step inside, and a creature
that looked like it had been trapped underground
its entire life lunged right at me! It tackled me to the ground
and said -- and it said -- Well, it said, "I can't wait for
Jimmy Fallon's Tonightmares, an immersive
haunted-maze experience at Rockefeller Center. It's open September 20th
through Halloween, and tickets are available now
at JimmyFallonsTonightmares.com. Scary? Very.
Fun? A ton. Now stick around.
We'll be right back with -- Aah! [ Smooth jazz plays ] -Stick around. We're talking to Kathryn Hahn
after the break.