Slice of PIE with MRS PIE welcomes Jordan Benn

foreign [Music] [Music] so I am so excited let me just turn on the music so I can get it going y'all first of all I'm so excited that that intro worked because I have a running joke that sometimes it does sometimes it don't but I'm really excited to be spending Valentine's with Jordan Ben thank you so much for being here I really honestly really appreciate this thank you for having me I'm happy to be um Matt so listen we realized that um oh I'm supposed to say all the influence and stuff so let me just get that out of the way please smash the like button love it share this tell your friends and especially for those I know a lot of people watch our replays for those of you all who are watching our replay you can still drop comments and we will respond or at least I will respond but everybody else get it together like and share so that way we can get this get this information out to folks who um you know who need it quite frankly so tonight is Valentine's uh so I'm wearing red for the moment um but I thought this was such a good opportunity to bring Jordan on um and we'll get into what he does for those of y'all again you know Valentine's tends to be very very stressful for a lot of people um there's a lot of folks Lonely Hearts broken hearts and all that but this is also a Time Jordan I was thinking about all the folks that are um have gone through job layoffs recently you know coming in coming into this season where they're not sure and they're they're they're they're facing stress in a different way so you know what are some of the things that you could share to help those individuals again you know I'm trying not to make too much light of the fact that it is Valentine's it is the season of Love but there's a lot of people who aren't feeling that right now so we're giving y'all our Valentine's evening so that we could bring some help to you so Jordan can you tell us a little bit more about what you do first of all he isn't in California chilling okay I'm so jealous because you have the best weather but what do you what do you do uh well first I'm in the Bay Area in California the weather is good but it's a little chilly I wish it was like a little warmer to be honest but um what do I do it's such like a deep question kind of but uh meditation is a censor of my career to put it simply and that looks like me teaching Dynamic mindfulness in Middle Schools I also partner with a couple startups to facilitate well-being for their members um and I also teaching the workplace as well so I teach workplace Wellness sessions I lead meditations for teams and also provide one-on-one coaching systems select private clients so it's kind of like a different things but uh to put assembly I'm a meditation guy um yeah I love that and when you when you talk about um meditation I'm thinking about and then you know obviously like correct correct us but for those of us who are um if you're on the job what does Medi what what role does meditation play like how can you use meditation for on-the-job type stress stressfully yeah um I think it's important too for me to kind of Define meditation yeah yeah because I feel like it's such like a kind of like a very like an enigma anywhere in a way perfect like term you know um for me meditation it simply means being able to feel familiar and connected to yourself um connected to your thoughts um connected to your feelings connected to your body I think anytime you can build that awareness of that connection you're practicing meditation um so this could be a meditation in a way if you're kind of building that awareness in the moment um meditation traditionally it can be kind of sitting in a Lotus position like with your eyes closed for however long you want to uh but to me that's just one way that it looks it also includes writing um to me it includes breath work it includes walking mindfully um I really think life is one long meditation but when we practice it can typically look like maybe sitting in a in a like particular pose doing particular breath work um but yeah I think the term largely is just to be familiar with the self well I think you know that is real that's a great place to start because I think for a lot of us we do think of meditation when you're doing yoga or you're taking deep breaths or if you're if you're a mom you're meditating don't go crazy with the kids so um you also talked a little bit about um journaling and then actively moving as modes of meditation um for folks who are and we'll touch on like a different areas you know maybe I know you're coming back by the way he um Jordan is coming back to talk to kids uh later on in February so we'll be able to we'll be able to cover some of um what works for kids and how we can help kids um from a from a a like a a stress relief perspective if you're on the job what are some maybe three tips that you could share for folks who are kind of on the job right now dealing again dealing with a lot of the tension and the stress about what's happening in the in the day jobs yeah I think first thing is before you even get there so I think you have to kind of prepare before you walk in to work or walk to your desk if you're working from home so I think your morning routine is super important and often people tell me it's no way I can meditate I can't get my mind to be still that long and I say just find a place to sit and take five deep breaths like focusing on nothing but your breath and if you want to go past that five reps keep going but that's just your minimum commitment and from there like your practice will build but I think it's important to have some type of stop or like some type of pause um right when you wake up um and that might be your time in prayer that can be your meditation practice that can be your walk uh it can be some time in your Journal but I think you really need to take a time a moment to really just be still are you going to work to build that awareness um then while you're at work uh when I used to work at a corporate office I would it was a meditation room like fortunately like I would stay in there my second office I think it's really important to at some point in the middle of the day um again everybody is not a traditional meditator um just yet like they may not want to sit in a traditional pose they may not want to close their eyes but I think it's important to take a walk to take a moment to Free Ride for a few minutes I think you have to have a 10 minute mindful break in the middle of your day to really just reset and give your your brain a rest and some space to slow down and to think um so first is to pause before even going to the office the second is to take a pause while you're at the office maybe some point around lunch a little bit after lunch then I think at the end of the day it's really powerful I've been doing this practice for a while um I call it a list of positive aspects wow so you can do it like you can call it gratitude I think sometimes when we think of gratitude though we think of stuff we've had to overcome we think of yeah that stuff that's happened that's over like it can be like a really heavy term and it's supposed to be something light and fun so I just say positive aspects and it really takes away the pressure of you listing something that's super like grandiose you know what I mean yeah a positive aspect could be I saw a bird on my walk to work or I talked to my mom today or the food in the cafeteria was hella good or whatever or I I almost let my quota like you know what I mean like so yeah um and just listing that maybe just having a minimum of five and just keep going after that but I think having a moment before you go into work to really kind of ground in Stillness before any stimuli is introduced I didn't think while you're at work kind of taking a moment to slow down and refresh and then after work really kind of grounding yourself in some positivity and looking back on the good that's happened uh throughout the day before you go home I love I love the take you have shifting it from gratitude because you're right I I find that um I I mean I'm grateful for everything but there's some things that you're right there's some things that there's a little bit of a stress to cope with something so grandiose that I'm missing the small things or I'm giving the gratitude to other people but I'm not reflecting it's not like I'm grateful for just breathing you know what I mean yeah I think we just Associated it was just such big things yeah I'm calling it just like positive aspects yeah it just says the bar like at the ground yeah like you just build momentum yeah I love that and especially you know as I'm thinking about um you know those of you all who are watching again you know whether you're alive or wherever or you're on the replay um those of you who've recently been impacted with job loss or maybe it's a health issue a mental health issue or whatever it is um these are really easy things that you can do you're not going out to spend any money y'all you know these are things that you can do um really for free but it's just being more intentional about you know that giving yourself that time and finding uh finding that time and the the thought about taking 10 minutes a mindful break during the day you know for those of y'all who are working y'all you can put that on your calendar and step away for a minute right it's not it's also I feel like I used to do this thing sometimes I still do it it's like oh I'm gonna get up and grab a glass of water after I send this email yeah and like you just you never get to it I think when you have that thought or that impulse to get up and take a break you should really just stop and take a break um like I really challenge to do that like no matter what they're doing like really listen to your body listen see that's how you build your intuition as well as listening the first time not saying oh I'll do it after I get this one task done like if you do it right then and there like you automatic like you just strengthened a muscle you know what I mean like yeah you know what I'm saying so I think yeah it's really powerful too like of course it's good to schedule time but also listening in the moment like when a need in your body comes up wow and that can we talk a lot talk about self-love and what what does that look like because listen all of us after covet quite frankly for the majority of 2020 a lot of us were using the word self-care a lot and self-care went into like you know in 2021 it was Spa trips and then it was vacations and all of a sudden self-care just kind of took on a whole Beast of its own but what I thought and what I what I was seeing uh in a lot of even some of my own friends were there was no self-love all of a sudden folks are even more critical of themselves but they were spending a lot of money at the spa talk a little bit about like what in your space what does that mean for you what does self-love look like and what would someone do I think self-love is really being connected to who you are and what you need and acting on that with compassion so that's as small as the example like we just talked about like yeah if you're thirsty and you're sending emails once you realize you you're thirsty you immediately get up and you get yourself some water like that's self-love and that can seem so small but that that speaks volumes to how much you care about your body and that shows that you're putting your well-being before like a corporate a corporation's bottom line yeah you know what I'm saying yeah so yeah it seemed like super small but like those super small instances they make up our entire day and our days make up our life so if we're putting ourselves first in those like seemingly micro moments then we get to experience um like a greater feeling of self-connection and self-love and I I think self-love is again like really knowing who you are because I think truly like we all love that's really all we are I'm like you know what I mean beautiful yeah like My Philosophy is rooted in is that we are inherently good we are inherently loved and I think when we can really allow ourselves to feel that it's really nothing we have to do there's more so stuff we have to stop doing you know so I think that's love I think self-love is simply being like without resistance wow that's so powerful first of all when you write that book I'm gonna need you to um like speaking all things into Jordan I can't help it as a part of it's a part of me I'm just speaking it out thank you Tina yeah it is absolutely great advice can you talk about intuition so this is another part like when we talk about being connected and being still so you can hear that voice and I don't mean the voice that tells you to go do harm y'all okay um yeah we absolutely must love ourselves first you know otherwise you can't love someone else that's that's a fact can you um touch a little bit about like what what is intuition and for those who might be um trying to understand like what does that sound like what what how do you know what you're into how do you know is your intuition I think intuition is just natural intelligence um so I think we can make it like really sure like it really is simple though I think it's just natural intelligence some people might call it Instinct yeah um you know what I mean from like a nature perspective but I think of it just as natural intelligence like yeah I think it's not and you're saying how do we develop it was that yeah yeah um I think it's about listening to it like the first time because we have it and it comes up every day like and it comes up with little decisions I actually remember being at the store not too long ago and I was going to get some chips like this is how simple it is like I think like you could I'm going to buy some chips and like something told me just try the other bag like try a different flavor today and I got it like I just had that feeling it was just an impulse and I followed it and that's very small but I trusted myself to follow it yeah and then like the chips were good I think it's just a practice like the more you listen the more you'll get confirmation and the more connected to that natural intelligence um it'll feel but yeah I think I think it's really natural everybody has it and I don't think it's really a means of developing it I think it's just becoming more aware of it by listening to it the first time I love that because then I said at least for me um and I'm I'm a very spiritual person so intuition is a little bit different for me but you're right if you don't and listen I've learned the hard way where I didn't listen the first time that it tends to come back in a different way you know it presents whether it's creativity or it's presenting a solution to a problem or you know if I'm just being disobedient I'm not listening to it then I get you know kind of punished quote unquote for not listening um to those to those intuition and and I think the point you made about being still and finding that time where you're actually just centered and you're connecting to yourself that's part of how you end up honing your ears so that you can actually hear that that that still small voice for your Intuition or whatever it is right and after meditation you'll get impulses to do things a lot of times that are natural I can give an example so I was meditating one day and I went on a walk and then I just had this and I was like I should change like my LinkedIn like headline to read like certified meditation teacher yeah where it wasn't reading that like I think I was still working a corporate job that was unrelated to like what I was really passionate about I was like I should put that in my headline like that should be like the first thing people see you know yeah I did it and then like a few days later this company contacted me saying they found me on LinkedIn they want me to record some content versus meditation like I asked how they found me and they said they searched the exact term I put in my headline so it's things like that and like I can look back at that situation yeah and move with even more confidence now like when I get an Impulse because I know that it pays off even if I can't see exactly where the impulse is taking me like that's kind of none of my business you know what I mean yeah you just wait yeah yeah that's awesome thank you uh Tina saying yeah that silent voice can be very powerful and you know that's so true and the other thing um as as you're saying that again it goes back to you know you get this opportunity when you're when you're listening to that voice and then you're taking an action and I'm thinking about um folks who might have or folks who might be um coming out of um abusive or abuse of some kind whether it's emotional or or physical or whatever that looks like and that voice was there and I'm going to tell you for for even for me because I went through some levels of abuse a long time ago but I knew I I was shutting out that voice because it didn't feed the purpose at that time I didn't want to hear it because that would mean that I made the wrong choice and so instead of listening to that intuition and listening to that voice I selected the other route just to ignore it and then I had to pay the consequence of not listening so that's why you know when we're talking about this it is so important so you know whether it's you know related to matters of the heart matters of the finance matters in business you can kind of see you know why it's so important to have professionals like Jordan come on and share with us like you know here's how you need to here is how and here's why you really need to be you need to be centered y'all otherwise we're all over the place oh my gosh so I wanted to find out more about um what are some of the things that you're working on right now because I definitely I know I want people to you can find Jordan on LinkedIn and I'll drop his information but I want to find out more about what are some of the things that you're working on and um if you're an organization a business a school Etc how can we get you know how can we get your service yeah so you can learn all about me at jordanbenn.com okay but right now I work with school systems health and wellness startups as well as workplaces so one of the schools I worked at The naroka Institute which is a really dope non-profit here based out of the East Bay and I go into schools in Antioch as well as schools in Berkeley Middle to teach middle school students Dynamic mindfulness tools so a lot of movement a lot of breath work um a lot of breathing and also just like a lot of conversation around how to be stress resilient how to maintain healthy relationships and also how to manage negative thoughts that may come up during the school day or even outside of school uh through like natural tools that we have like through our bodies through movement through sound through the breath um yeah I also partnered with a startup called Mindy it's really really dope early early stage startup um as a mental fitness trainer and also create meditation content for them and their clients it's kind of personalized training with like highly busy professionals Executives Founders kind of like corporate athletes yeah yeah like really working with them to set mental fitness goals and keeping them accountable on their Journey towards that goal wow that's incredible and again everything that we need y'all ex you know coming out of the pandemic there's a lot of folks who have not um and I'm again I'm just I'm saying it for myself have not fully healed from the pandemic emotionally it was a rough time and so you know please make sure I've dropped the link in the chat there is a question for you um and the question is what advice can you give for sleep meditation for sleep meditation uh a teacher and he was just talking about this today I think when we have trouble going to sleep I think what really can help is allowing our awareness to move out of our head so a lot of times like especially in the west like I feel like our our awareness our attention is all up here but the truth is consciousness um I also called awareness it's not localized in any one place like it's not in the brain it's all throughout the body so when you're having trouble relaxing your awareness might be concentrated heavily in one area likely like up here so practicing a body scan meditation before bed can be really helpful and that just looks like shifting your awareness to different parts of the body so you can start with the souls of your feet you can imagine a light it's kind of traveling up towards your toes you can imagine it's kind of radiating across the tops of your feet and expanding upwards towards your legs you can like allow this light to travel very slowly or it can be water like you can imagine really anything I'm kind of traveling and tracing through your body and by allowing your awareness to flow freely you kind of release maybe any mental resistance that's up here you give your mind something like less resistant to focus on and it'll allow you to relax and hopefully sleep a bit a bit easier wow that and that is you know that is without the you of putting drugs in your body right that is Yoga Nidra but Yoga Nidra is all about that it's it's essentially kind of like body scanning uh for the purpose of relaxation yeah yeah yeah yeah thanks for that question Tina you know um I'm thinking about the you know how do you manage like how do you shut the brain down and I think that's a lot that's what a lot of us are dealing with so before you think like yeah what do we do it's like I think when people say like shut it down or maybe yeah it's not gonna do that you're like meditating teachers they might tell you different but I I don't think like we were designed to come here and to not think you know what I mean yeah anything on our mind I think it's more so about directing it towards something positive or something healthy because we were put here to create we're put here to manifest things we're put here to leave the Earth better then we found it so we are supposed to use our minds I think it's just about not allowing it to use us so like and I use the example like of a baby like think of your mind like a baby like if a baby was crying and like screaming and just wilding out like you would not go up to the bed being shake it and just tell it to like shut up yeah that's true you were saying I think you were like you would hold it you would kind of see what's going on like you would be gentle with it you'll be patient and I think you have to take on the same relationship like yeah with your mind um really treating it like like your child like it doesn't run you but you do have to tend to it and you never really want to shut it down like it's really about soothing it and affirming it to a place where they can feel comfortable relaxing and resting on its own wow that's power that is so powerful especially you know I am I wake up I have a sleep pattern that I actually wake up at certain times of the night and is for sometimes it's like between three and four a.m and I get the most incredible impulses and information and downloads that have download it happen and I'm forced to right in the dark because there's a part of me that's like I'm not getting up but I know this is like information that I need and then and I've allowed that to happen I used to um but then going to sleep like I I try to visualize I almost some sometimes I try to visualize a dream state that I want to go into you know what do I want to be and again because I'm spiritual I always end up with like I don't y'all don't judge me okay but um I I have dreams where I go I want to see the face of Jesus listen doesn't always happen but it puts me in it down and all of a sudden now I'm my mind is focused on that I'm not thinking about work or illness or fam none of that it's just I have this very calm peaceful sense of being and then here comes the dreams that show up between you know three and four in these incredible downloads that I get but I had to you're right I I used to struggle with like how do I make it stop like I want to have like eight nine hours straight you know what I mean like how do I make it stop and then I realized like wait a minute there's some information that I'm supposed to get and I need to get it so I'm gonna I'm gonna shift so I can grab that information and then I'm I'm I'm more rested and sometimes excited when I wake up because I've achieved that that kind of that connection that you were talking about yeah I think what you mentioned writing to I allow you to usually be the start of most of my classes as well because it gives you like space to just release everything that's there like without shame yeah I think it's especially like some things that we're afraid of or that we're fearful wow I think everybody should have a free Writing Practice because like it gives a place for like your negative thoughts or for like your fearful thoughts it gives it a safe place to manifest you know what I mean yes so it can go on the page and sometimes we can be afraid to write certain things now yeah just to get it out on the page then for it to come out you know somewhere else so yeah so that that's a great call out for those of y'all you know who aren't quote unquote into journaling be into journaling be into it you know um yeah get it you can get again but you know not trying to put costs on folks who've been impacted you can you know find a cheap Journal dollar Journal you know notebook whatever it is but the ideas I have my number saved yeah and like I text myself all the time but like I like if I need to journal or get something yes I'll put it there like if I don't have a pen and paper like I can let this go right now you know what I mean yeah even if you don't have pen and paper it's always with technology today it's always a way to release I recommend the pen and paper like if yeah but yeah something else that we have in common is affirmations I'm I'm really big on what I say and it wasn't always like this I mean for the longest time I would say the craziest things about myself and out loud and I'm you know I started pulling a lot of that back over the last year or so because I realized that I was I'm literally creating my reality through what I say about myself and I'm watching it happen and going wait why has that happened because I said it right I've actually created it so um so what are your thoughts about and I also on your side I believe you also have affirmation so people can go on there and please y'all go and see they're amazing I've already checked it out so what are your thoughts around affirmations and um why why is that important to you I think it's so important because it shapes our mind and our mind I don't think a lot of people realize I think a lot of people do that like a lot of people do realize and even more people are realizing that our thoughts like they influence how we experience reality like it directly influences how you feel so it's going to influence your life experience so it's even a Bible verse um I don't know the I don't know the exact scriptures like Southern like Baptist Church is a kid and this verse always stuck with me is as a man thinking like so so is he yeah and when I was younger I was like I don't really get like I was like okay it's kind of come full circle in a way like since I was talking about meditation practice and also being able to look back at the foundation of spirituality that I was introduced to at a really good age it's all the same thing you know it's just so beautiful to see that but when the common thing across all faiths across many Traditions a lot of philosophies I think even Quantum physicists are picking up on it too yeah we've been like traditional science is that our thoughts directly create and shape how we feel and how we feel directly shapes like the type of life that we live so that's what affirmations are important because they can kind of mold the clay of your mind yeah that's powerful that is so powerful yeah and again for y'all who are you know for anyone who's looking for affirmations some free stuff on his site the link is in our chat you know go out there you can even write some for yourself and and there are affirmations that I say um to myself if I'm in my office by myself I say a lot of this on the top of my voice to myself uh you know and and it's incredible how it shifts your mind um it does it does it changes your perspective you know the way that people treat you it's even different because now I don't accept just any Behavior I don't accept this anything because you know because of who I am and so I have a lot of I am statements but I I do live that out so you're right it does manifest you end up you know creating your life just by what you say so y'all be careful what you say yeah is really part of my practice as well um yeah I think saying something directly in your eyes and being able to see yourself um is it really it's really powerful really really powerful you know something I do um I have a I have a lot of mentees um in internal corporate wise and external just folks I mean that's just that's just part of my that's what's up um but one of the things that I I do when I meet someone who is not confident I have yeah thank you Tina I'm sorry about that she said yeah also be careful what you take in yeah you're right you're right don't let just anybody speak into you I'm like you can keep it to yourself what would you watch what would you read or what you watch yeah what you watch what you read you know all of those things they they create a mapping in your mind and you do actually end up living some of that out so so um mentees I usually if you're if you have um um some issues with lower self-esteem the first exercise I give them is go in the mirror and say to yourself I deserve the best I love myself and if you can do that you're gonna you know you're gonna be crying for 30 minutes but if you can't do that then we can't talk you have to get you have to get connected to yourself right you have to under you have to accept that you actually deserve to be here so for those of y'all who are watching us on this wonderful Valentine's and you might be feeling like you're alone and we're on this Trio date with you sharing Valentines with you you know we definitely want to make sure that you feel and know that you are absolutely worth it you're amazing you're incredible you're smart you're beautiful you're handsome you know you deserve to be here for you know a lot of folks again that are having those types of thoughts you absolutely deserve to be here we need you there's a there's a song Jordan This is a gospel song I think it's I need you to survive if I have it right okay that's the song so we need you to survive because we do right so what are um so I want to get your final thoughts um just to close this out give people back their evening again especially for folks who are catching the replay catching it tomorrow sharing loving like in this what are your final thoughts um our final thoughts are you really should you know honor your thoughts I think I think our thoughts are more important than we think so I think it's a perfect question yeah I think I think your thoughts are the most important thing like what you think about you is more important than your circumstances it's more important than what anybody else thinks about you it's more important than how much money is in your bank account yes like who's in your house it's more important than everything like your relationship with your mind and what your mind tells you you know so yeah thank you for that so the um you have an event that you're that's coming up is it this week yeah can you tell us about that this week um it's on Thursday the February 16th okay if you're in the Bay Area I would love to see you there it's at Kim folks Oakland um on Telegraph and it's called to me for you so it's been thrown by an organization called create the space and it's essentially black men uh telling their story so it's really vulnerable storytelling I don't know the topic of the story I'll be telling you they tell me the topic the day of and then it's really an opportunity uh for us to practice vulnerability and for the crowd to hopefully receive us wow really really well I've been to one of the events before and it's really really beautiful uh some of the stories that everybody shares and the environment is just dope I love that well thank you for that and again for those of y'all who are going to be in the area can they find this information on your website or where should they go um they should go to to me for you okay is it like to like the number two yeah I believe this is the link I think it's to me for you.eventbrite.com I think that should be it I'm not hosting it all right I love how he just don't be throwing shade on here yeah I'm gonna try to it's coming up slowly on my uh on my eye here so I'm just gonna drop this is in the chat so that everybody can um okay um again you can write it on it right um and you can install it in the chat here in a few seconds there it goes it's in the chat so y'all please sign up um go to the event it's on February 16th I am so grateful again thank you so much for giving us your Valentine's evening and sharing love basically for all of us you know giving us all these amazing tips I'm so excited to have you come back February 23rd because I think teams need this kids need this I know I needed it so so we'll sell these I'll let you say lastly words and then um and then hang out in the back room and then we'll tell these people so much for having me I really enjoy being here um and you said last few words I'm sorry yeah oh okay oh yeah oh again like I think like your mind is your mind is priceless I don't want to say your mom's worth like more than a million dollars but like you really can't even put a price on it like it's really Priceless um yeah and we have so much power to directly influence how we feel we have a lot a lot of agency over that so I just really encourage people to feel into that to be still with that and really kind of explore how that can show up for them in their own life wow I love that y'all please make sure you check out his site if you're a company if you're a school make sure you hire Jordan and get some help y'all need get some help okay get still get some help so we'll tell everybody Deuces and then we'll hang out in the back room thanks for watching [Music]