[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Taylor: HELLO EVERYONE, I'M TAYLOR TOMLINSON AND WELCOME
TO "AFTER MIDNIGHT!" NOW, IF I CAN BE CANDID WITH YOU
FOR A MOMENT, HAVING FAME IS NOT EASY.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE YOUR SIBLINGS THAT YOU
DO IN FACT HAVE IT. EVERY TIME I REMIND MY SIBLINGS
THAT I'M A PUBLIC FIGURE, THEY'RE LIKE, "BUT WOULD A
ARE YOU STILL TAKING YOUR MEDS? THEY'RE LIKE, "BUT WOULD A
PUBLIC FIGURE HAVE SNEEZED AND FARTED AT THE SAME TIME THAT ONE
DAY AT CAMP?" AND TO THEM I SAY, "THAT WAS
LIKE 20 YEARS AGO! AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW CLOSE
OF A CALL THAT WAS." LOTS OF CHALLENGES COME FROM
FAME. HERE'S A CLIP OF MY FAVORITE POP
STAR CHAPPELL ROAN EXPLAINING --
YES, ABSOLUTELY. EXPLAINING HER STRUGGLES WITH
FAME, ON FRIEND-OF-THE-SHOW DREW AF-WALO'S PODCAST.
>> WHAT SOMETHING YOU MISSED FOR THIS HAPPEN.
>> DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS IN PUBLIC OR MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE.
>> I MISS FROLICKING OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE NOW I'M TO
SELF-CONSCIOUS TO FROLIC HERE TO SPEAK OF YOUR BEING PERCEIVED
WHILE YOU FROLIC. >> I REALLY MISS BEING IN FOREVER 21 WITHOU.
>> Taylor: DRUGS, MAKING OUT WITH PEOPLE IN PUBLIC, AND
FROLICKING. THOSE ARE THE THINGS I ALSO
MISS, AND HAVE DONE BEFORE. DON'T FACT CHECK ME.
DON'T FACT CHECK ME. I'M A FREE SPIRIT.
A CHAPPELL, YOU CAN STILL DO DRUGS
IN PUBLIC. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO WAY MORE
DRUGS. THEN NO ONE WILL BOTHER YOU.
THEY'LL BE LIKE, "I THINK THAT'S CHAPPELL ROAN, SHOULD WE GO ASK
FOR A SELFIE?" "WELL, SHE'S CLIMBED A LAMPPOST
TO FIGHT AN INVISIBLE DRAGON WITH A POOL NOODLE, SO MAYBE
NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME." ALSO, RESPECTFULLY, OF COURSE
PEOPLE RECOGNIZE YOU WHEN YOU'RE OUT.
YOU'RE EVERYONE'S FAVORITE ARTIST RIGHT NOW.
YEAH. AND YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON AT
CVS DRESSED AS MARIE ANTOINETTE. [LAUGHTER]
NOBODY SHOULD HAVE EVER HAVE TO CONSTANTLY WORRY ABOUT CAMERAS.
IT'S TRUE, EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT FAMOUS, IT'S HARD TO BE FULLY
UNINHIBITED IN PUBLIC. EVERYONE HAS VIDEO CAMERAS IN
THEIR HANDS ALWAYS AT THE READY. >> JUST IMAGINE YOUR TEEN
DRIVING AND PLAYING MUSIC WHILE YOU'RE GOING DOWN T THE ROAD.
YEAH, SHE A MUSICIAN AROUND THIS [BLEEP].
>> Taylor: OF COURSE, OF OURSE I WANT TO CAPTURE A
MOMENT LIKE THAT. WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE PLAYING A
FLUTE IN THAT ENVIRONMENT? DOES YOUR DAD HAVE ROAD RAGE AND
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO CALM THEM DOWN?
DO YOU PLAY A HEART WHILE YOU FIGHT WITH YOUR MOM?
I WANT TO RECORD, OBVIOUSLY, BUT I DO THE RESPONSIBLE THING AND
PUT THE PHONE AWAY LIKE THE OTHER DAY A GROUP OF DUCKLINGS
CROSSED THE ROAD AND I RESPECTED THEIR PRIVACY.
THEY ARE MINORS AND, YES, I MEAN I POSTED IT TO CLOSE FRIENDS.
SOME DAYS, YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO BE PERCEIVED -- LIKE IF
YOU'RE HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY, OR IF YOU'RE STEALING [BLEEP].
IF YOU SEE ME AT SEPHORA WITH A TOTE BAG, NO YOU DIDN'T.
YOU KNOW WHO'S NOT HAVING TROUBLE BEING FAMOUS?
GLEN POWELL. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED AT GLEN POWELL AND THOUGHT, WHY AM I SO
ATTRACTED TO HIM? WELL, HERE'S A GIRL BREAKING
DOWN WHY HE IS SUCH A PERFECT HEARTTHROB.
>> I FEEL LIKE GLEN POWELL IS IN HIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW WHO'S GOING
FROM SOMEONE WHO'S JUST IN MOVIES TO SOMEONE WHO'S A HEART
HEARTTHROB. LIKE SYDNEY SWEENEY, THEY HAD
THE FUN PRESS TOUR WITH A PRETENDED WHERE THEY WERE DATING
AND THEN HE DID ANOTHER ROM-COM RECENTLY WITH ADRIA FOR HIT MAN
AND THEY HAD INSANE CHEMISTRY ON SCREEN.
BUT THEN ALSO LIKE THIS VERY FORTHRIGHT FRIENDSHIP OFF SCREEN
WHERE IT SEEMS LIKE WOMEN JUST FEEL LIKE SAFE WITH HIM.
>> Taylor: GLENN POWELL HAS CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE!
HE'S THE CAPYBARA OF HUNKS. FRIENDS WITH THE WHOLE ANIMAL
KINGDOM. YEAH.
I COMPLETELY GET WHY PEOPLE FEEL SAFE WITH GLEN POWELL.
YOU SEE THOSE EYES? YEAH, THERE'S NO DARKNESS BEHIND
THOSE EYES. SEE THESE?
YEAH, THESE ARE REAL "CHECK IN LONG" EYES.
GLEN POWELL LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF MAN THEY SEND OUT TO SOOTHE A
SPOOKED HORSE. LIKE IF I WERE FREAKED OUT, I
JUST KNOW HE WOULD GENTLY HOLD MY HEAD, PET MY HAIR AND GO "SHH
SHH, EASY GIRL." IF HE FED ME BABY CARROTS FROM
HIS HANDS I WOULDN'T EVEN BITE HIS FINGERS, AND THE INTERNS ON
THIS SHOW KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT.
GLEN POWELL IS HOT, BUT IN A SAFE, APPROACHABLE WAY.
YEAH, HE'S NOT A MODEL FOR LOUIS VUITTON OR ZARA -- HE'S IN THE
LL BEAN CATALOG, PUTTING AWAY HIS PADDLEBOARD.
I HAVE 35 MORE ANALOGIES ABOUT HOW MUCH I LIKE GLEN POWELL BUT
WE DO HAVE A SHOW TO DO SO THAT'S THE UPDATE FOR NOW.
USUALLY WE JUST EXPLAIN INTERNET TRENDS.
BUT TODAY, I'M GOING TO START ONE.
I'M CALLING IT THE "CHAPPEL ROAN PLEASE DO OUR SHOW CHALLENGE"!
PLEASE COME HERE, YOU CAN DO DRUGS AND FROLIC!
WELCOME TO "AFTER MIDNIGHT," LET'S START THE SHOW!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪
LET'S MEET TONIGHT'S PANELISTS! YOU KNOW HIM FROM "PLATONIC" ON
APPLE TV AND CAN SEE HIM IN THE UPCOMING AMAZON FILM "YOU'RE
CORDIALLY INVITED," IT'S ACTOR AND COMEDIAN, VINNY THOMAS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] SHE'S A COMEDIAN, ACTOR, AND
BEST-SELLING AUTHOR YOU KNOW FROM "LADY DYNAMITE," AND CAN
SEE LIVE AT THE AMERICAN COMEDY CO THIS WEEKEND, IT'S
MARIA BAMFORD! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HE'S A COMEDIAN, WRITER, AND ACTOR YOU CAN SEE LIVE AT COMEDY
ON STATE IN MADISON, WISCONSIN ON AUGUST 1, IT'S PETE HOLMES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> I STOLE MARIA'S BIT!
>> Taylor: THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS.
HAVE YOU GUYS SEE IN THE ROAN VIDEO BEFORE?
I MEAN, YOU'RE ALL FAMOUS, WHAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT
BEING FAMOUS IN YOUR OPINION? PETE, HOW ABOUT YOU?
>> ? >> HONESTLY, PEOPLE THINK
SOMETIMES I'M SOMEONE ELSE. >> Taylor: WHO DO PEOPLE THINK
YOU ARE? >> IKE BARINHOLTZ.
OR A LESBIAN VAL KILMER. IT ALWAYS HURTS WHEN THAT GETS A
LAUGH EVERY SINGLE TIME. LIKE WOLVERINE'S CLAWS.
>> Taylor: VINNIE, WHAT'S THE WORST PART FOR YOU?
>> YOU LEARN SO MANY WEIRD FREAKY DETAILS ABOUT CELEBRITIES
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH THEM VERY CLOSELY.
>> IS IT ABOUT PETE? >> Taylor: IS IT ME?
>> I CAN'T SAY AND I SHOULDN'T. >> Taylor: MARIA, WHAT'S THE
HARDEST PART? >> THE HARDEST PART IS THAT
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW YOUR FAMOUS. AND IT'S LIKE, I HAVE TO EXPLAIN
TO THEM. I HAVE TO GO HOME I GOT HAVE
BEEN IN THIS AND THIS AND THEY'RE LIKE I'VE NEVER HEARD OF
THOSE THINGS. >> Taylor: [LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, YOU KNOW WE
USUALLY GIVE AWAY A LOT OF RANDOM PRIZES, WE'VE GIVEN AWAY
BONGO DRUMS, NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES, THE HAUNTED DOLL THAT
WILL LIKELY KILL ME SOMEDAY. BUT THAT'S ALL OVER, BECAUSE WE
SPENT ALL OF OUR SEASON'S LEFTOVER BUDGET ON THE BIGGEST,
MOST EXPENSIVE PRIZE WE'VE EVER GIVEN AWAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THAT'S RIGHT.
TONIGHT, YOU'LL BE PLAYING FOR...
SPONGEBOB'S HOUSE! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I BOUGHT IT ON ZILLOW FOR $3 MILLION DOLLARS!
>> SORRY, I WAS RIGHT NOW YEARS OLD WHEN I REALIZED HOW TINY
SPONGEBOB IS. HE LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER
THE SEA BUT HE MUST BE LIKE A PIECE OF A SPONGE AND THOSE
PANTS ARE MINUSCULE. >> ARE WE GOING TO GLAZE OVER
THE FACT YOU KICKED HIS ASS OUT INTO THE STREETS.
>> HE'S SLEEPING IN THE BURGER RESTAURANT.
>> Taylor: NO, HE SOLD IT TO US FOR $3 MILLION.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET INTO IT. NATURE FACT: DID YOU KNOW,
SHARKS AREN'T JUST RICH ENTREPRENEURS ON ABC, THEY ALSO
HAPPEN TO BE AQUATIC ANIMALS. AND LIKE A LOT OF ENTREPRENEURS,
THEY'RE ALSO ON COCAINE! ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS IN
ANOTHER ARTICLE: "SHARKS OFF THE COAST OF BRAZIL HAVE COCAINE IN
THEM AND SCIENTISTS BELIEVE THE DRUG MAY BE ALTERING THEIR
BEHAVIOR." [LAUGHTER]
SO PANELIST, AS IT COKED UP SHARK, MARIA.
>> THIS IS A GOOD IDEA ABOUT KRILL, BUT IT'S A BIG GRILLED
BUT GRILLED THAT'S BIG BUT THEN IT'S LIKE BIGGER THAN REGULAR
KRILL. THE BIGGEST KRILL.
SUPER BIG KRILL. I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SEEING IT
RIGHT BUT KRILL. >> 900!
>> Taylor: IT'S THE LAST EPISODE OF SEASON ONE, I'M
GIVING OUT STUPID POINTS! PETE.
>> YEAH, YOU WANT TO DO SOME GREAT WHITE?
[LAUGHS] WRITTEN WITHOUT ChatGPT,
THANK YOU! HUMAN WRITTEN!
>> Taylor: VINNY? >> WANT TO COME TO THE BATHROOM
AND DO A BUMP OFF MY GILLS? >> I'M SORRY, TAYLOR, CAN WE
WALK IT BACK, "THE NEW YORK TIMES" HEADLINES
IS ARE YOU NOT AFRAID OF SHARKS NOW THAT THEY'RE ON COCAINE?
>> Taylor: LET'S GO BACK, LET'S MAKE SURE.
>> THIS IS -- THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW MEDIA IS HAVING A HARD TI
TIME. THIS IS "THE NEW YORK TIMES,"
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF SHARKS? WELL, NOW THEY'RE ON COCAINE,
OKAY? WHAT DOES "THE NEW YORK POST"
SAY? BLOWHOLE!
WHAT DO THEY SAY? IF THIS IS THE PRESTIGIOUS
"TIMES." "THE NEW YORK TIMES" IS DOING
"ONION" HEADLINES. [LAUGHTER AND CHEERING]
>> I WANT TO SAY IT'S MY THIRD TIME ON THE SHOW, I NEVER KNEW I
HAD TO GO BACK A SLIDE BEFORE. AND IT FEELS GREAT, IT FEELS
GREAT. IT FEELS GREAT.
>> Taylor: OH, MY GOD, WAS THIS A RECENT HEADLINE?
WOW, YEAH, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED LAST WEEK.
OKAY, EVERYONE, DON'T BE MAD, BUT OUR SHOW IS GOING ON THE
LITTLE SUMMER BREAK. YOU GUYS!
YOU GUYS, IT'S NOT MY DECISION. OKAY?
I'VE NEVER MADE A DECISION HERE EVER.
OKAY, IT'S NOT MY DECISION. WE NEED TO RECHARGE THIS BIG
SCREEN, IT'S DOWN TO LIKE 3% AND I REFUSE TO BE THAT GIRL!
ALL RIGHT? BUT THAT MEANS WE WON'T BE
TOGETHER FOR THE FINALE OF HBO'S INCEST DRAGON DEATH VARIETY
HOUR, ALSO KNOWN AS "HOUSE OF THE DRAGON."
AND WITHOUT OUR PANEL'S TAKES, THERE WON'T BE A CULTURAL
CONSENSUS ON THAT FINALE! WE CAN'T HAVE THAT, SO EVEN
THOUGH IT HASN'T AIRED YET, I WANT YOU TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENS
IN THE "HOUSE OF THE DRAGON" FINALE.
PETE. >> WHO CARES?
SHUT UP. STOP MIXING SHAKESPEARE WITH
YOUR SO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT WATCHING.
JUST WATCH PORNOGRAPHY, BLOODY DRAGON PORNOGRAPHY.
>> JON SNOW IS BACK AND THIS TIME HE'S GOT IBS.
>> Taylor: MARIA. >> FINALLY GOING TO SHOW SOME
DRAGON TEETH. >> TO YOUTH?
>> MARIA, WHERE DID YOU GO? >> IT'S ONLY FOR LIKE TWO
SECONDS BUT YOU SEE A LITTLE BIT OF A NIP.
>> DRAGON NIP SLIP. >> LIKE A DRAGON SLIPS THE
NEGLIGEE OFF ITS SHOULDER. >> Taylor: I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE
I'M AIR TO THE THRONE, WHO KNOWS.
THAT'S ALL THE SHOW IS ABOUT. THE WHOLE SHOW IS LIKE MY VOICE
OF THE KING, AND YOU'RE LIKE ALL RIGHT.
I TOLERATE A LOT OF THINGS ON THE INTERNET, BUT ONE THING I
REFUSE TO STAND FOR IS BULLYING, WHICH IS WHY I WAS NOT HAPPY TO
SEE THIS VIRAL TWEET MAKING FUN OF BARRY KEOGHAN'S IRISH ACCENT.
X USER @JoelGolby WROTE A FAKE EXCHANGE BETWEEN CELEBRITY
COUPLE, SABRINA CARPENTER AND BARRY KEOGHAN.
SABRINA ASKS "WHAT'S THE JOKER?" AND BARRY RESPONDS "HE'S SORT OF
LIKE AN EVIL PERSON." NO, NO.
JUST BECAUSE IRISH ACCENTS SOUND KINDA GOOFY TO AMERICANS AND
MAKES US THINK OF FIDDLES AND LEPRECHAUNS, THAT DOESN'T MEAN
HE DESERVES TO BE MOCKED! PANEL, ON BEHALF OF THE
INTERNET, I WANT YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO BARRY KEOGHAN.
MARIA. >> ALL, IT'S NOT LIKE I PUT A
CAR BOMB IN YOUR LUCKY CHARMS. THE TROUBLES HAPPENED BETWEEN
THE PROTESTANTS AND THE CATHOLICS MANY YEARS AGO.
IT'S A REAL PART OF IRISH HISTORY
>> Taylor: THAT'S TRUE. PETE.
SPEED TWO OH OH, BARRY! , I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S
Speed two oh oh, Barry! CLEARLY A SCOTTISH ACCENT. AS IT CAME OUT, I REALIZED I
HAVE A NEW APOLOGY FOR YOU. IT'S A DIFFERENT COUNTRY.
>> Taylor: VINNY. >> BARRY, I'M SORRY, I'D LIKE TO
PAY OUT FOR A NIGHT ON A RESTAURANT FOR LEGAL REASONS I
CAN'T SAY HERE. I WANT YOU TO GO GET A
SOUTHWESTERN EGG ROLL AT A CHAIN RESTAURANT THAT I CAN'T NAME
HERE. >> VERY NICE IRISH ACCENT.
>> Taylor: THAT VERY GOOD. MARIE IS IN THE LEAD WITH 4,000
POINTS. MARIE IS IN THE LEAD WITH 4,000
POINTS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL BE KICKING ASS AND CHOOSING NAMES.
STICK AROUND! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪