The Eden Formula (2006) is a VERY BAD movie!

the Eden formula is a 2006 Creature Feature directed by John Carl buer a team of mercenaries trying to steal a secret formula capable of bringing extinct creatures back to life accidentally release a Tyrannosaurus Rex which goes on a rampage through Los Angeles but before we get into this lowbudget lck I just want to ask that if you end up enjoying this video then please think about hitting that like button and subscribing to my channel it would really help me out so thanks also there will be full spoilers ahead but if that doesn't bother you then grab your T-Rex arm flavored popcorn and whip out your Tony Todd in the hole as we die into the Eden formula which is actually the last movie to contain footage from the carnosaur series so I guess you can probably tell what this is going to be like so the movie begins with a truck rocking up to the delivery Bay of some big building then this fell gets out who looks a bit like Christopher eckl so let's call him Eckles cake who is it it's the delivery man I'm here to deliver your latest delivery kind of late for deliveries isn't it no it's delivery o' now suck my glock no no you don't oh for God's sake who turned off Tony Todd's mic we hired one of the most recognizable voices in movies and you can't even hear the bastard then a voice comes through on the dead guard's radio asking what's going on I just Dro My Clipboard on the button sir I'm sorry oh you Butterfinger Bend you're always doing that and also why do you sound like Tony Todd doing a funny voice I'm sorry whatever just come back inside will you you're letting a draft in higher up in the building were introduced to Jeff farahi and D Wallace's characters who I'm going to call Jeff and D for the sake of Simplicity also I think this is the first time I've seen Jeff farahi without a beard and I don't like it he better have grown a beard by the next time we see him or I swear I'll probably do nothing anyway they work for this company who have developed the titular Eden formula which can bring extinct species back to life case in point a Tyrannosaurus Rex which they're keeping in the basement with Peter Griffin looking after it so I can't see this ending well Peter goes to feed it and says sorry only one C of night which reminds me I need to order more cows from the internet cow shop then he starts wolfing down a sandwich because he's borderline malnourished then we see this cop who gets a call from dispatch telling her to check out the big building cuz the silent alarm was triggered earlier yeah no worries I'll head over there now oh and stop smoking at work I can smell it down the phone how there back to the baddies who have been securing the premises and these fellas walk up to Tony and say Sir Carl and I have cleared the ground floor that means we killed FK eh it so once we crack the safe and steal the Eden formula are you sure we can synthesize more of it after 15 years in biogenetics I think I should know what I'm doing hey I want none of that cheek specs don't call me specs no I was asking for the specs of the safe specs Rebecca status report all telephone lines cables and alarms have been cut excellent not a problem is it just me or does everything she say sound really seductive anyway she's trying to open the safe via the computer then this fell says but no one can access them without the codes oh yes I I can you go girl oh boy is it hot in here I would stand up to open the window but uh I've broken me legs well done lad they didn't suspect a thing here have some dopamine As a treat so she unlocks the safe but because all the systems are connected every other lock in the building opens too including the T-Rex cage which shocks Peter so much that he drops his sandwich and the 5-second rule doesn't even apply cuz it landed in some cow's blood and it looks like eckel's cake lost a bed that sexy voice couldn't open the safe give me [ __ ] you know it so that's where I've been going wrong oh I've got to go and try this for myself don't you go anywhere I'll be back in a minute a few minutes later this movie is full of lies it lied to me back to Jeff and d and they're so bored that they've whipped out the wacky baky and D's all like dude how did I not know that bran flakes tasted this good but then Jeff gets a sudden bout of paranoia how long is that light been Flash oh my God the T-Rex has got out and there's buddies in the building oh I bet they're trying to rob the formula oh this is going to send us on a Whitey I need to lie down there's no time for that D we need to hide the formula but where aha the last place that'd ever look dude I am not shoving it up your ass then we see some security guards who have noticed the phone lines are down so they go and investigate he's been shot now I've been shot no [ __ ] Sherlock damn I got blood all over it it's ruined then they bring out this lady who is an activist who's been heavily critical of the company which made the formula I'm going to call her Sammy shot shoulder cuz she gets shot in the shoulder so once the baddies have the formula they plan on blowing up the building with a big bomb and she'll take the blame you son of a [ __ ] Pig I said your son is a [ __ ] yeah that's what you get for insulting ni son which I don't have meanwhile that cop from earlier shows up and says is everything okay here yes officer everything is fine oh okay then bye baddies W cops zero then we finally get some footage from carnosaur 1 where the T-Rex breaks through the wall to escape and despite being a massive lumbering Beast it somehow manages to sneak up on this cleaner and bites his head off mostly using footage from carnosaur 2 of course then it goes for a wondering Jesus catapult accident Christ just look at this thing oh this movie was made 13 years after Jurassic Park elsewhere the Buddies gain access to where the formula should be only to find it's been moved which annoys Tony so much that he does this oh you've gone too far this time Tony I've loved you in every movie I've seen you in but snapping that pencil is a step too far even for me I demand a written apology and don't forget to sign it to Comic lots of love from Tony back to Jeff and D who bump into the last remaining security guard who looks a bit like John Goodman but not as good so let's call him John aagan so they start heading to the way out and then freeze now put your hands up but you told me to freeze well well well what do we have here three people walking down the stairs obviously yeah but what are you doing here walking down the stairs oh got any other questions actually yeah do you have the time sure I've got the time right [Music] here that wasn't the time that was a kick me down the stairs to my death oh elsewhere the T-Rex has been wandering the streets of Los Angeles for a while now and no one's even noticed then it hears a radio playing at a nearby gas station and it loves a good tune so it goes for a gooy then this mechanic hears the radio turn off and goes to investigate saying damn kids they turned off my radio radio and placed it on the ground again this mild inconvenience is unacceptable then because no one can see this T-Rex until it makes a noise it gets the drop on him and then gives him the chomp meanwhile Jeff D and John make it downstairs and find Sammy shot shoulder with d saying when they shoot you what did they The Bullet Hole in my shoulder might be a bit of a giveaway don't you think so she tells them about the bomb and Jeff says who's got the Detonator your little friend does I'll have you know my penis is capable of no such thing they wouldn't even be able to hold it it's not like it's an elephant's trunk but then one of the baddies finds them and we get somewhat of a strange shootout where everyone just wastes their ammo shooting walls hey Jeff when would be a good time now would be a good time elsewhere that copies on the phone and says no mom we'll get the cake on Sunday no it's my birthday and I want it on Saturday and don't you be late don't worry I'll be on time and I don't want to hear any excuses like oh I got eaten by a T-rex or some crap like that back to the building and then alarm starts blaring with Sammy saying what the hell is that noise it sounds like the food buzzer why does your food buzzer sound like the building's going to explode then suddenly the T-Rex breaks its way back into the building and this numpty decides to stand still and shoot at it this goes about as well as you'd expect but then his mate Cary goes and does the exact same thing look boss I'm shooting at it there you come that strategy clearly isn't working people try something else but then I kid you not another baddy does the same damn thing what are they thinking you lot of the survival instincts of a hot dog anyway the goodies trying to escape but Tony gives Sammy a throwing knife to the head which is probably for the best to be honest Jeff and John aagan get subdued by the Buddies while D and the cop run outside but get followed by the T-Rex D gets in the car and then you know as I lie here I can't help but comment I'm going to do the exact same thing which got the last three people killed oh except it'll be different this time I know it'll be different this time did I ever tell you the definition of insanity oh hey Mom you'll never guess what's happened anyway D drives off in the Cop cast subbing before she radios the police dispatch and says there's been a break in and people have been killed and there's a giant T-rex Loos in the city oh you were doing well until you mentioned the dinosaur now he's not going to believe you is e because you sound insane placing a prank call to the 9/11 service line is a misdemeanor the 911 service line no it's 911 nobody calls it 9911 do they especially since this was made after 911 back to the buddies and Tony is interrogating Jeff to find out where he hid the formula I want the formula what formula is that oh that formula I gave that to your sister oh my mistake now replace sister with mother and formula with trouser trout I got you didn't I yeah I'll admit it that was a good one elsewhere D tries her look with the police dispatch again but this time tries her best not to sound mental I'd like to report a break in at Cal foreign Industries to your knowledge has anything been taken from the premises well don't you say it something's escaped actually don't you say it there's a giant man eaing dinosaur that is loose in this city so a call ends the same way it did the first time then she pulls over to steal some high fives from the back of her truck cuz she's already stolen a cop car so why stop there then we see the security guard at a construction site he looks out the window to find a T-Rex walking around outside so he does what anyone would do in that situation he grabs a shotgun goes outside and walks slowly towards it and can you guess what happens of course you can because it's already happened for God damn time bet it ain't done snacking on the residence of La just yet this limo driver rocks up to a club and says here we are shall I leave the car here before the T-Rex shows up and eats the bouncer which scares the limo driver so much that he somehow manages to fly the car into a car shall I leave the car here back to Jeff and he manages to free himself from his binds because Tony foolishly left a knife in his hand so he and John escaped to go and retrieve the formula before they book it like an automatic fed but when they get to it plot twist for the MERS Jon is actually working for the baddies and he pulls a gun on Jeff personally I would have waited until his back was turned but I'm no close combat expert unlike Jeff so Jeff decides to burn the formula and all the data on it so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands the baddies soon find it and they're not very happy is it gone burned up ruined Parker not sure why you'd blame Spider-Man for this but hell it's your show Tony you blame whoever you like fella then Jeff gets the drop on them before he swiftly gets knocked out by JN I guess Jon must have been wearing his melee resistant face today beanie hat M [ __ ] is surprised to find that John's on their side and says well call me yep and punch me in the face yep so the baddies have tied up Jeff again and Tony is thinking about what to do next but beanie hat MCAT wants to just blow up the building and leave don't you know that this is over oh and then there's the little issue regarding a [ __ ] dinosaur Tony ain't putting up with this in subordination though so him and MCAT have a we scuffle which Tony obviously wins because he's twice his size he does let him live though so I guess he can just go home and put this all behind him right nah instead the absolute Nitro cabbage decides to steal a car and speed off like a maniac crash into another car drive down the wrong side of the street before seeing the T-Rex panicking and driving himself off the road into something explosive oh that's some Darwin Award level dumbassery right there the next morning Anton's decided to kidnap Jeff so they can force him to recreate the formula somewhere else then this delivery driver turns up and has himself a loud delivery man boogie but the T-Rex shows up because it loves a good Boogie thankfully it's distracted by even louder music coming from a trail of high fives that DIA has set up lined with dynamite which she got from the dynamite shop I guess then the beasy makes a be line for the highi and we get some of the greatest special effect shots I have ever seen oh my God three years after this movie came out Avatar came out just think about that man oh I tell you those are some special special effects right there Tony then shoots the van driver and loads Jeff into the van before telling the others to go and kill D so there aren't any Witnesses but surpris the T-Rex ain't dead and it apparently eats all three of them in a single bite off screen because the special effects budget was clearly used upon the jumping re/ explos combo Jeff then has a fight with Tony and ends up impaling him to a wall with his own throwing knife saying stick around then the T-Rex eats Tony who was full of red paint all along Jeff and D take off with Tony's Detonator before hitting the button and both the building and the T-Rex go kmo okay maybe a giant dinosaur wasn't a great idea I was thinking maybe next time a giant ape seriously why don't we just move the experiment to New York and put it on display while we're at it you're a dumbass and you fire end of movie well I don't think I can sugarcoat this one folks the Eden formula is a terrible movie it really does have some of the worst special effects I have ever seen and it doesn't make a lick of sense Tony Todd D Wallace and Jeff fari clearly did the best with what they had to work with but just about everything else is just hilariously bad this is definitely one worth watching with your mates after a few drinks good Lord so the Eden formula what did you think of it did you like it did you love it let me know in the comments below while I melt