Golden Bachelor Episode 4 Recap - I Think I'm Falling in Love with You!

[Music] welcome to the world let me tell you what I've learned about it welcome back to aliens watching reality TV I'm Erica and I'm Janette and we are uh recapping the golden Bachelor all season long today episode four um Janette why why are you uh involved in why am I watching the golden Bachelor yeah who are who are you to me I I was just going to let you instead of me well Erica you and I have been talking for decades since I'm your mom and we do love talking to each other all the time so we have fantastic phone conversations of course we used to live together for decades and now we get to talk about the golden Bachelor it's my first time watching The Bachelor and you said it's only your second time so it's been pretty fun for us to look into what has been a cultural phenomenon for 20 years and I just found that out today I didn't realize how long it had been on the show yeah until at the start of this episode four right away they have Trista from Bachelorette oh yeah Bach Bachelorette season 1 come out she was on The Bachelor season one also and then she was the runner up and they selected her to be the B first Bachelorette and that was 20 years ago and and they're still married as far as I know they got married and they have two kids I mean that that is a that's a wild success you know like wow I just saw on Wikipedia you can look up how many times was there a proposal how often did that lead to a relationship that is still together and it's not 100% it's not even 50% but there are plenty of relationships that have stayed together so hopefully this one will work out for the golden Bachelor Gary yeah I mean I I pretty much uh disregarded the like reality of Bachelor relationships at all so I guess I actually um underestimated the power of the romance um but yeah I feel like the golden Bachelor is just different they're they're here for the real deal well let's hope so and also like I mean it doesn't mean they're necessarily going to find it but I feel like they're intending to I think I think they are and I I do think there were many hopeful moments in episode 4 and there were some moments that I wrote down I think this is like the regular Bachelor it seemed like something times it had that feeling yeah it's fun cuz I actually I just listened to a podcast um from people who usually recap The Bachelor and so they um get like they always notice when something is like uh like a a a Trope from you know the regular Bachelor and stuff so it's like I've been able to learn about the bachelor without having to watch it um and there were several things that they mentioned this time they're like oh this is classic Bachelor so that's interesting that you notice it too well one thing that I saw right away is they jump right into okay let's get to the plot we're going to have a group date and we're going to have a solo date and they list off the names of everybody in the group date and that means whoever wasn't listed is going to get a solo date and um so they they have the group date which turns out to be eight women so that means there's nine left at this point the eight women are paired into four pairs to play pickle ball and I did think it was just a couple of things the back to you take grownups who've been around and independent for decades and then you say okay we're going to do a talent show and you all have to do it and they're like okay and you know that was last week and then this week we're all going to play pickall and they're like yeah let's do it and then I I had to look at my own self and say am I more closed-minded than I think I am because each of these challenges they do feel like challenges I have thought I don't know I don't know pickle ball is actually pickle ball is hugely popular among old people so that's not a challenge for them this this is their their hobby like pickle ball old people love pickle ball and you and I have talked about that concept of PDA I I think that ties in here I would just have this pathological demand avoidance to anyone saying you are now going to be on a team and play a pickle ball and I'd be like I don't know about that so anyway that's why I'm not a contestant I don't think I'd be a very good oh yeah so I guess I'd say all of that to loop back to it's interesting then to see how other people are thinking when they are presented with opportunities I feel like I'm a really open-minded and active person and then I just can't seem to make myself do things like play Pickleball or do a talent on demand but also like if if um if they were going on like a long bike ride you know in a area or something if it was something you liked then you would be down and lots of people like pickle ball but you don't I bwarts people that's okay there's eight women that are going to play and Gary's going to watch with other a lot of other people watching and that did seem like wow um here's your outfits and you're all going to dress in these short shorts and and we're going to just like play ble ball and Gary and millions of viewers are going to watch but they know they're on a TV show so they are down for this is what's going to happen they don't know exactly what would happen but I guess that's one of the things they are expecting we're going to play pickle ball so um the pickle ball games I did think were weirdly kind of fun because these women are just trying their hardest to look okay and get Gary's attention and the one that I thought was the most fun and I bet other people thought this too was Sandra and we were all thinking man I want sandre to win so badly because Sandra admits she never played pickle ball in her life and then she's out there killing it against Ellen who a pickle ball knees two replacement knees never played in her life and she is playing like she has she is the captain and Ellen's the co- captain of the pickle ball team in Florida it was so pretty fun to watch sandre going for that ball smiling the whole time wanting to win so much and the only reason she didn't win is because her partner was one of the least athletic of all the other women and every now and then you'd see sandre raning for it and it sometimes it's going straight to her partner so she waits and her partner goes swish it's like oh poor Sandra you know what's funny is I am so apathetic about sports that like I watched this but I didn't even like notice who won like oh I I watched them play you know like yesterday I watched this yesterday at the beginning Ellen was like I'm going to win this I'm a champion was I wasn't really like I wasn't really registering like ah that person like That's how little I can care about competition so do you remember there's a moment where April falls down and twist her ankle and it looks like so not a real fall and then she looks at the camera you know and they interview her later and she's like I didn't really hurt myself she just wanted her hero to rush over so apparently that that is a bachelor classic okay um a fake injury um during you know one of the games so that they get to sit down and just have private time with the bachelor um basic there's always somebody with a fake injury apparently I can't imagine ever ever even thinking to use a strategy like that to get someone's attention no it didn't seem to work for her either if we can just jump you know a little a little foreshadowing yeah didn't well I mean it's one thing that's kind of fun about Gary is like I feel like um I pretty much understand the way he thinks and so the things that like seem manipulative and um like not genuine to me seemed that way to him too you know yeah I think he's definitely uh off the charts in emotional intelligence he's really paying attention to what is real and not real so they also bring on Joey he's he's definitely he's more of a krier than I am he's he connects with people more than I do but I get him yes yeah you understand him and that I think it's a reason why a lot of the women are connecting with him they're thinking I wish I had a guy like Gary or Gary in my life because he would be pretty great I think he'd be a great boyfriend for any of us he's a he's a really great guy and I don't think there's a lot of them you know you don't think there's a lot of great guys I'll just find a guy like Gary yeah I don't think there's a lot of guys like Gary I don't think there's a lot of guys like Gary I've never met an old person that like I got along with so I but I would get along with Gary and I'm not saying that to like slander old people but like um I I don't know my whole life I never I had like limited interactions with old people and and they were always mad at me so my interactions W weren't very good and maybe Gary would be mad at you you don't know no no I can tell we get along okay so they bring in Joey from Bachelor season 28 and I looked that's the most recent one does that mean he was The Bachelor and he proposed to someone uh I yeah I think so yeah oh let me he was The Bachelor I'm going to just look at that real quick and season 28 okay oh it's happening now I think January 2024 he's he's a future Bachelor he's been hired and not yet tested aha maybe he was on The Bachelorette before or something oh maybe that's how they that might be it now that they each feed into each other that would be a good way to do it yeah people have a favorite and they're like I feel like that's usually how they do it yeah that's something we might talk about in next episode when they whittel it down a bit more and we're like okay who do we wish if she doesn't get it she gets to have her own golden Bachelorette Susan really Susan golden Bachelor you already decided I love Susan and I think she'll go far but I think they're not each other's person but I think she's so great and I would love to see her find her person she is really thoughtful to other people she definitely cares more about other people than most of the women on the show she's always like grooming them and listening to them and cooking for them and yeah I like she out in the pool too and whenever they show the pool Susan's in it she's funny she's secure in herself and um yeah I mean I'm breaking my own chronological rule but and in this episode we got to see like she can really open up and and feel and connect and you know so it's like she she's the whole package so we go we have the rest of the pickle ball game they do a quick photo shoot with Kathy and Ellen and Gary and then they break away and bring up the Kathy Teresa drama again and I got a better understanding of what's bothering Kathy but I still just really don't like the way she tries to address it with Teresa they're both surprisingly immature Teresa why can't she see that she is hurting people's feelings with the things that she brings up it does seem like it has to either be on purpose or she's willfully never thought through how it hurts people people when you talk about braggy things about you that they don't have you know just like hey kids I got new roller skates in the neighborhood look at my skates everybody look at me skate and nobody else has skates I mean it just seems like Teresa should have learned that when she was five but then I also felt yeah yeah it that it's hard to give her the benefit of the doubt when she's had 65 years to learn it you know and um even though Kathy doesn't give her feedback in a kind way and that's probably what ends up hurting her later is that Teresa reacts to it like a 5-year-old would defending yourself that's not what I meant oh I can't believe you took it that way that's not what I meant and I thought oh my gosh that is not what any adult does I even learned when I was 5 years old honestly I was pretty bad when I was 5 years old and I did say things like I didn't mean to I didn't mean to but my goodness I'm grown up now and I've learned it and I do think Teresa is and she's 64 and she's like oh my gosh that's not what I meant I can't believe that hurt your feelings so I did find that a problem I actually think um unfortunately a lot of adults react like that um I agree that it's not an adult way to react but it's even why like there's a um a phrase impact over intent and like that phrase had to be invented and spread around because like people thought oh well as long as my intentions were good then you can't be mad at me um a lot of people they have such a an emotional reaction to people being mad at them that then um when they hurt someone else's feelings they require suddenly validation and support from that person because um it's so hard on them to have someone be upset with them and like that's that's very immature and um and she is like that but also like Kathy is u mean she's mean yeah so and you know what uh when you get those two kinds of people together cuz this does just happen some people are sort of like vulnerable mice and some people are just like Hawks circling overhead they are what they are and when they're with their own species you know you don't notice any like particularly odd behavior but you get them together and the Hawks are going to attack the mice they just are they can't help it and the mice are going to cower from the Hawks like and it's just like those people shouldn't be friends yeah and I'm a hawk I can't be friends with people people who are I it's out there I'm nicer than Cathy watch out I just know it's true but I'm I I'm nicer than Kathy yeah it's not hard to do well and I don't think you're a big game player I don't notice it no I'm not a game player at all I'm not a game player at all it's just that um well I guess actually that's kind of part of why I'm a hawk is I won't play other people's games even when they are really trying to get me to you know they're trying to emotionally emotionally manipulate me into giving them whatever emotional experience they want and I'm like uh no so I don't really care Gary has these interactions then with Teresa and with Kathy and I found it really surprising that he put himself in the middle of it like I'm going to see if I can figure this out and see if I can get to the bottom of it and I I'm sure that's part of the show you know like I wondered I bet if they'd say well there's some drama going on you should probably talk to these two women or if if he really just naturally noticed something I mean I do think he he doesn't want to be dating someone who is mean to The Other Women you know so like he he did want to figure out you know is there somebody here who is the problem and then he he saw it this time like oh oh it's Kathy I do wonder if if he's if I wonder if the women who are not on the show later if they go back you know the ones that were on it but then they didn't win is what I mean they the losers the losers who don't get married failures old cronn Spencers if they go back and they watch it and they try to get some personal growth from it to kind of see I mean they will see it's an edited version of what happened but then I I do wonder how they might react to that later yeah I I think um you know some people I I've definitely heard both like you some people are on go on reality TV and they see some unflattering things about themselves and they use that as an opportunity to reflect and other people um they are have no interest in in self-growth you know like and so it doesn't matter what you show them like you know I just finished with a covering love is blind and like at the reunion they show a video of this one girl Stacy cuz she had just said about how like she was nice the whole time and it was all other people's fault and so they show a clip of her just being a bully and a huge and like calling people out out and um she is completely unrepentant watching it so I have been surprised that Gary's inserting himself in to some of the the women's conflicts and he's he's tried to pull people aside for various moments for like Sandra's daughter got married and he's like w that was just terrible that you missed that let's go ahead and call her and so they do they call her and then he gives Sandra a rose which I'm really glad he did because she ends up missing the rose ceremony because they host while the the single the one-on-one dat is going on they host a little um never have I ever game sitting around on the couches and they have to eat ice cream but no one has asked if anybody has an allergy I found this really strange Sandra says I should I shouldn't be eating this I'm lactose intolerant she like because she's trying to win she wants to do all the game exactly right and then she can't get out of bed the next day cuz her stomach's so messed up that she misses the rose ceremony and I thought that's on the producers too she definitely filled out something that says I'm lactose and intolerant I'm sure she did and they give Everybody regular ice cream they could have given her vegan ice cream that's so easy they're in California it would be hard to find a non-vegan ice cream in California I guess now that you mention it you know I have felt a Temptation in the past to like be chill about gluten you know cuz it's like I don't want to be a bother um and I I can't really conceive of how impossible it is for me to be chill about it like my digestive system can't be chill it doesn't matter what I emotionally want to do like yeah I would be like Sandra totally out of commission the next day paying for I did feel badly for her cuz I know she's just trying to do everything she can to see if she can win she does really like Gary but at the same time I think she more wants to win than she is into Gary it's just a feeling that I have about sandre she just seems like an amazing think she also is just having fun know she doesn't want to leave the show it's the best time she's had in a long long time and I think a lot of them are feeling that it's so they're feeling a closeness in the party and they're at this cool house and they're on TV and they're like I want to just do whatever I can to stay on and so she ate that ice cream and she shouldn't have but then yeah no it's a good point um speaking of her though what did you think about her missing her daughter's wedding I thought that they probably also have a really close relationship like you and me and you and I would have done the same thing talk about what are the pros and cons cuz a wedding could have gotten changed more than a bachelor episode you know a season could change so the daughter could have changed her wedding also and some people might say you can't change a wedding but yeah you can it's also just a party so I think they both made decisions paying attention to each other's needs and they both were like you do you I didn't see any problem with it I I mean it's um it was a like I didn't like it at first it was a little off-putting to me you know I was like damn I don't I don't think you should miss your daughter's wedding for The Bachelor um and I feel like Gary also had that hesitation where he was like um I don't know if that was the right choice but once we heard from her daughter like I felt differently cuz it was clear like her daughter wasn't um secretly sad she wasn't there you know like then we kind of got it it probably made fun of her mom well during the wedding and they're like and let's toast my mom who's on The Bachelor right now instead of here at this wedding and like there are so many ways to get married in kinds of weddings and I think a lot of times people you know they just associate it with whatever their wedding was and they're like if my mom wasn't there it would have been if it's a 500 person wedding and it cost thousands of dollars but it's possible that she got married in the living room like I did yeah if it's like a wedding it's mostly cuz like you've been together a long time but you need um health insurance like yeah shouldn't you don't need your mom I got married in my living room with my 11-year-old daughter Erica playing the piano yeah and I don't remember how to play the piano anymore you were good back then phew I caught it just in time you wouldn't play the piano for me now so I'm glad I did it I yeah good thing you're not getting married again cuz I can't learn the piano all over again so we have this moment where Gary talks to Teresa and then Gary talks to Kathy and then when he talks to Kathy he's like what did you say why did you say zip it and she's like oh yeah he didn't like that well the thing that I noticed in this exchange with Kathy and Gary is Kathy interrupted him over and over again she's like no and I but but it was and I thought oh man Kathy You're Gonna Lose just right now you are supposedly trying to get this man to love you and you are interrupting him to defend yourself and then uh she says I think she knew that um he wouldn't like what she had done she was really good at manipulating him before I think if she had just listened and cried and like she did last time maybe she just put all her tears into the last one cuz she just can't make herself cry this much uh that would make sense but then she says into the when she's interviewed after because of Teresa now I'm not getting a rose and I was like wow yeah that suck out ler when no it's he watches this edited later he's going to be like oh thank God I didn't choose her he would never was going to because he would have been able to see it that she's she's mean and she has her own way of seeing the world and nobody else's but it still was like Wow who says that she lives she lives in a world where everyone is manipulating each other and trying to hurt each other um but she has created that world because actually I mean she she's not alone in it there's plenty of people living in there with her but um not not on the golden Bachelor you know did you notice they're pretty emotionally she even said um I'm not a villain and you had said that they always get a villain on there and so she was probably like oh man they got me on here to be the villain I'm not a villain and it's her way of saying yeah I realize that's why I'm here I'm here to be the villain and I did it she's so obvious she walked right in cuz I think people thought at first that it might be April but then April was too nice well and April was kind of bland she had a sexy thing going but that's pretty much all she I thought all she really had going for her was I know how to get a man interested in me with my sexiness she had made that calendar she had this weird like theme of chickens sometimes she was uh dressing like a rave girl like she she's in her own world she did they showed it at the very end her running around and saging the whole place while all the women are coughing yeah so no I think April was was fun okay but maybe not Gary's kind of fun I guess not because he let her go yeah I mean I think um it was pretty obvious who was going to go home and I feel like there's a couple more people that it's like yeah that's that's not going to be Gary's person um jumping ahead a little bit because Leslie has a one-on-one with him we didn't get to talk about yet yeah so he and Les Leslie gets dropped off in the middle of nowhere and they give us a tumble weed moment just to see if she's going to get nervous and then Gary rides up on an ATV and I so much wanted in that moment she climbs on and rides up for them but no she gets her own ATV and she's like I don't know how to drive one of these things and garys off like 60 M an hour on this thing and she's got a chalk and dust and stuff just like all over her face and she's trying to keep up with him like oh I'm having fun I really I'm make I want to have fun I don't want to lose him and you could just see it wasn't going great for her she was really trying to be a good sport about it um but then she does end up getting on the ATV with him I was like that should have been the day all along whose dumb idea was it to get two of these so apparently this is a bachelor classic they do this all the time they give them two ATVs yes yeah um partly because it's going to be weird you know um and but yeah I I the the other like recap podcast I listen to they were like I don't know why they decided to make the golden Bachelor go through this one like not everything uh should be used you know for the golden set they purposefully picked Leslie and I don't think Gary did I'll bet the producers did because they're like Leslie is fit enough that she can do this she could hold on and like shurn through those streets she's a fitness instructor I think they weren't worried about her but they would have been with maybe April that April would crash that vehicle and roll and get hurt but Leslie could handle it I think in that case um it would have been Faith cuz Faith rides a motorcycle but maybe that was too obvious uh Faith r a motorcycle is get her on ATV I I think it had to be Leslie and I bet the producers picked it but anyway she she goes along with it and seems to have a good time she says she has a good time but I bet she would have loved to have had Teresa's date more everybody would have rather had Teresa's date more than the one that that she got um so Leslie he and Leslie Gary and Leslie talk to each other and the whole time she's talking I keep thinking she seems so faked me she really seems like she's trying to be she's like leaning in she's looking at him she's so insecure it looks so much like she's performing this is what a girl in my position would do right now Darin and then he says it's cuz she's so insecure and he said she was so open and warm sad to see I think he's definitely going to see through it that he just isn't really connecting with Leslie so I don't see her sticking around I think I think he just like there are a couple women who he just think are really hot and so like that's affecting his decision I think I think she's really hot and so like you know she doesn't have to have as good of conversational skills I I hope everybody who watches this don't think he'll pick that I hope they get that feeling of you've got to go beyond hot cuz hot just doesn't get you the dayto day to day to day it's just not going to be enough also um and so I'll admit I don't I cannot tell Faith and Leslie apart a lot of the time they just because they're both like beautiful brunettes who look very young for their age um and for no reason are constantly like radiating insecurity and um and really just kind of have bad vibes um and they both like are annoying me because of that but so I can't remember which one of them it was but when they were talking about oh I never get chosen it's never me and Stu it's like why did you brought this Dynamic about like and these beliefs about yourself to the show it did not exist um Without You creating it here you see that Sandra would never say that about herself never no she has complete confidence in herself that's why Sandra is always being herself because she's she's just secure in herself and so I think it does also show you like um Beauty does not equal confidence cuz like those two women they have no real reason to be this insecure but you can see their insecurity is is it's really the only thing wrong with them like and um it's the thing that's going to keep them from uh having a a successful relationship and and uh and I'm not like blaming them for that it just makes me sad I was thinking more about Leslie besides the fact that I think she's insincere and as you say that's because she's insecure I was listening to for each of the women how they give compliments to Gary and what they compliment him about and they are always in the moment noticing a real thing he's doing right now and then they reflect it back to him and so she's looking at Gary and she's like leaning in and she's trying to tilt her head and she's got getting this look and she says to him that she thinks he's funny and sensitive and kind and I thought I think you rehearsed that before you ever got to this show point out something that he's doing right at one point she says I think you would fit into my life I thought good call good catch on that that's weird because I think he doesn't want to fit into your life I think you fit nicely in my closet yeah it's instead of they just went on an ATV ride together she should be saying something about his Fitness or his daring or something that's relevant to what just happened instead of he's funny and he's sensitive and he's kind mind and she then get does this whole whiny thing about how she doesn't have good picks but she thinks he's good and then I'm like oh you just ruined it there's no way he's going to trust she's a Vibe Ruiner he can't trust your opinion now because you just said do you think he is funny sensitive kind and you're not good at picking people so you probably just got him wrong and that's the way anybody might take it including I hope Gary I think he's probably done with Leslie I think yeah I don't think she uh cuz I don't know why she and Faith seem to have the same personality but they both like are negative anes rain sadness going on that's true yeah and a very you know woe is me and which even if you hate yourself um if you're still thinking about how much you hate yourself all the time that's still being uh completely self-centered like stop hating yourself all the time and think about other people like and kill two birds with one you're actually not going to be good in a relationship with Gary or anyone if you are still so needy you'll just kind of suckle the air out of the room I don't understand the um the impulse to like put themselves down and stuff but I guess that's also cuz I you know am uh self Grand and overly confident good for you thank you um oh so he pulls Susan aside and they both admit Cas we haven't had any time together he does want to I think she's going to get the next full date it's going to be Susan he wants to get to know her better and faith is just going to like lose her mind she's like why did I get the first impression Rose she says it on everyone and he never hangs out with me um and you even said that after the first episode she you said first impression gr people hardly ever make any Headway but apparently yeah it's a curse it's a curse and she shouldn't have gotten it shouldn't have ridden up on that motorcycle uh yeah and play guitar come on he's like should have saved one for later the impression but Susan gets a little gift from him and it's a pink quartz pink rose quartz and she's like wow and he says this reminds me of my wife and I can see Susan and Sandra remind me more of what his wife Tony looked like just from the the first pictures that you see so you can't say oh he's going to go for one of those probably looks the most like yeah so um and then they make out super hard he's made out with I think he's made out with almost everybody I don't know if he's made out with sandre yet I would love to see him and sandre make out but anyway I think he's made out with pretty much every I feel like Sandra there's no way s hasn't planted some on him by now I we probably yeah or they didn't show it to us because they want to save a big cuz he's maybe made out with uh with um Susan before but this is the first time they showed it and maybe that's why they were so comfortable just like a all over each other but it was pretty cool he's definitely getting to make out with a lot of hot women and no matter what happens on this show for all of those you know on the Wikipedia list that were like nope nope nope all those guys got to make out with a ton of gorgeous women so they're not regretting it at all and then he gets some time with Ellen again he's having a great time and he um she says to him with she just does speak with this sincerity that we don't see in a lot of the others and she says you brought out a spark spark in me I I feel all you know with all the giggling and kissing and she just hasn't done that in a long time and I know that's something that a lot of older people watching this it will resonate with them if you've been out of a relationship for a while you you can't imagine that you'll ever feel giggly again and you'll ever want to just like make out with the guy I get that already you're feeling that way yeah I haven't felt that way about someone for years so yeah I understand so when Ellen says I have this woken up in me she even is kind of like no pressure man you know it's woken up in me she doesn't say you made me feel this way and I really like the way she phrases to that she feels giggly and she's all kissy and it's just such a great feeling and connection that she has with him and it really resonated with me I think she might be the one it's possible I think she's going to be in it for a while I I think it's we saw in the previews from the first SE the first episode it's not Teresa that did show that at the very beginning ah yeah and that doesn't surprise me that much no she's um she's not interesting they gave they gave her a bit of villain energy also so they wouldn't give us this unsatisfying oh that one that was you know so insensitive to the needs of others they if they wanted her to you know if they figured out by the time they before they edited it was all done filming and then they would know who to edit in so anyway who do we see that still left there are plenty that it could be I think it's gonna be Susan between Susan and Ellen and then Susan will be second and Ellen will win that's myess I would like to see if you get some make out with Sandra because then I do think there's a chance it could be Sandra but I do think she's there more to win than to get a boyfriend I feel like they really like each other and um he finds her attractive and fun and all of that but they don't have a like connection the same way that like he feels with Ellen yeah you know cuz last week he said that he can be most himself with Ellen and I feel like that is a deciding factor like that's that's for me that would be the deciding factor so also do you see these two women and all of the women they've got entrenched lives in another part of the United States of America so one in Florida one in Pennsylvania and he's in Indiana and he just bought this dream lake house so yeah I would just pick the one in Florida whoever is in the warm weather oh okay that's all go I I what I hope happen he gets to meet their families and all what I hope happens is at some point he gets to pull them aside and say let's talk Logistics we have our own lives our own Families how much do you really want to get there near the end do they do that on a regular Bachelor did they finally start talking Logistics are we going to live I mean I haven't watched the second half of I only know that they I I only know that when there's four they visit their homes and then I would just assume if you any kind of reasonable human being you would just have to discuss that stuff in this crying time she says you know I never thought I'd see it again and I think I'm I'm falling in love with you and he says that he's in the same place and I wonder was that if he's not in love with her was that too close to saying I love you too I just thought it would be so hard in that moment to know when you say I'm in the same place is that like a ditto where you're saying I don't love you yet but I'm I could and maybe you're saying this to anyway I just thought it was uh it was a little awkward so I did learn actually um they're not supposed to say I love you on Bachelor like that is she say I'm falling in love with you cuz she did I mean it's the bachelor is I supposed to say okay okay because um oh that's good to know yeah there it's just like so him not saying it doesn't mean um that's not necessarily like a pointed choice on his part I felt like him saying I'm in the same place it didn't mean like I'm in the falling place you know so her feelings might be a little more U solidified than his but I feel like he was saying like yeah I'm definitely I'm having those those feelings and have that experience well then we get to Nancy who has a stress fracture from the pickle ball and was clearly not athletic enough for this this whole thing she's like I think we're not connecting emotionally I should probably go I did like it that she kind of kicked herself out instead of keeping herself on cuz she just wants to win and then and then she didn't really want to stay she was like eh it's yeah I I ran the whole course and I got a foot fracture and so I think I'm ready to go she's like I I actually have a life at home you know with like a mattress that is comfortable and you know my children you when Nancy leaves all the women cried and I was like wait what this must be a similar like Bachelor moment why why did they all cry I don't think the women us they all cried all of them I don't think the women usually like each other I think they these women get along better and care about each other more than like the contestants usually do I'm I'm curious to see more of them will cry or if they just don't give us many moments to see that they all cry but they they all cried and we did find out that um Kathy and April were let go so Kathy was right I'm not getting a rose and it's all because of Teresa um and then she gives this cryptic I might burn the house down before I go oh you don't have villain energy huh okay but then we find out that next week they're going to meet the families and they get to take a helicopter to a yacht and then this big crying thing they show of Gary which could be next episode or a future one where he says this isn't worth all of it it's too hard it is too hard I can see he is too emotionally sensitive for what he's going through right now I couldn't do it yeah fra and I were talking about it while we're were watching it and I was like um it's so horrible to hurt one person's feelings like I I don't think I could hurt this many people's feelings like it just I don't think I yeah people who are really really it's going to be really hard on him man yeah but I like that he now has a goal of not just trying to be in love and who does he care you know who's he like but who can he not live without where he's just like I can't let that woman walk away from this series and I never see her again I can't let that happen that is a good way for him to look at and go that's not Nancy I'm I'm able to let Nancy go I'm able to let Kathy go uh you know it's kind of it's kind of morbid but if I was them I would also be thinking like who's the one that I'm going to want at my hospital bed when like it's the end who who's the one who's going to comfort I'm going to feel comforted and that I trust and like because you're going to go through those things with that person over the next you don't think it should be who's best at pickle ball um I don't and I also don't think it should be who's hot hottest who best at pickle B who can wear this pink dress best that's why I think it I think it will be Ellen or Susan because I think um I can just like see realistically them having a life together you know um but yeah that is kind of crazy though like they're at an age where it's like they're picking the person they want to die next to yikes well supposedly that's what all of The Bachelors are doing it's yeah young people have too hard of a time even really imagining that happening I still can't really imagine like being 40 you know e uh yeah I'm like H I know it'll happen but who who will I you know I've been in this Renning club for 20 some years and when I joined it I was in my 30s and uh and I there were people in it there were women and it was all women who were in their 50s and even 60s and now I do see them around town and I can see wow they were my age and now they're really old and I can't go like oh that's that's pretty wild to see that and oh well it's good to be alive I you know um we had talked about how like we wondered if this show was making people feel better about getting old and actually I saw a Tik Tok today from somebody who was like these ladies are making me like less afraid of getting older like they are having a the time of their life and they look fantastic and like all of these fears that I have that I thought you know I associate with getting older like clearly it doesn't have to be that way so I yeah I mean that's a huge impact to me cuz especially in such a youth like focused culture and um even when you're like 22 years old you're terrified of aging and you feel it so rapidly slipping away and so it is a relief like to see Sandra and she's 75 and like she's living she's happier than anyone I know and she's so active gosh I just with replacement and the way she flew around that Court she's like I'm she dove into the crowd to get that ball knocked it in the right direction having never played before I was like there's no way yeah no I don't have that kind of athleticism I never have uh but I do feel like you know replacement knees look like the move yeah and you wouldn't be against I can't evene oh I into it give me bionic bionic everything why not let's do it yeah yeah let's fix up well episode four it was a good episode it wasn't as many tears as some of the other ones and not as many as we see that are coming up in the future but we are seeing uh relationships growing and developing some windows into why we do and don't think some people are authentic and loving and maybe a little hope for the future for everybody who's watching and listening along with us and I still didn't talk about my own dating experience yet yeah we'll have to uh give ourselves more time off yeah we're busy modern we do we know how many episodes are left um no but I did yeah the podcast I was listening to they were saying this is an accelerated timetable it's like half as many episodes or something so we're let we're halfway through now it seems like they're letting two people go each time and so now they're down to 7 are they well yeah so I know next week they will that will be the cut before going to visit like their families and that's going to be four okay I think there's they're to six now because Nancy left and then he kicked the other two off yeah yeah so there's six and then they'll go down they'll kick two more off and you think it's going to be the twins I think it should be it should be the twins I think I think you're right but he's he's sometimes you know a little more uh incentivized by their attractiveness than you know I would maybe expect cuz like he is really taken by how hot they are um oh yeah and I don't think he's going to go for Teresa in part because she's also kind of sad and not super athletic and I think he wants a real athlete partner and probably Tony was she you know she they probably did a lot of active things together I mean that's a reason why a lot of guys have liked going out with me I like to do a lot of active things and and somebody that wouldn't is they're not going out with I don't know people people like going out with me because I give you plenty of free time and space to go do your active thing leave me [Laughter] alone uh but yeah no I'm loving the show I love it actually this is the first episode I didn't I didn't cry okay well job thank you so much yeah I'm working on being a hardened shell of human no just kidding I was just on my period before now I'm not so like that might be the deciding factor well I look forward to talking with you about another episode Erica and to talk to you again about everything yeah I'm sure we we'll talk as humans before uh next week but we will also talk as podcast hosts in a week I love you ER I love you too bye okay bye aliens watching reality TV is hosted by Erica Heald and Josh Sher it's produced and edited by Erica Heald that's me and our theme song is just World by Erica hawald which is also me available for streaming on iTunes and Spotify for $5 a month you can subscribe to our patreon and get an extra full length episode of the podcast every week right now we're covering Love is Blind season 1 we'd love to hear from you our social media links are in the episode notes or you can write to us at aliens watching realitytv gmail.com thank you for listening and as always until death do us part Amen to the world let me tell you what I've learned about it it's a just world