being the embodiment of perfection was very risky that's her character's Mantra that's her character's Mantra to keep yourself going whole thing for me was was terrifying I remember being on the phone with with Ron and and finally like okay you're going to do this yes I'm going to do this and hanging up very excited and 20 minutes later call him back and like having doubts like I you know were feeling scared like I just didn't know I had made the right decision or I was the the right person for it for me that's what's all about you know um that's what I find interesting and and fulfilling and and exciting and and if it's not that I don't I don't want it you know it's it's what it's what makes me enjoy every day at work that's that's what I that's what it makes it not feel work