Unbreakable: A Young Athlete's Journey from Trauma to Triumph - Alexa Leary

the Brown Park podcast is brought to you by grow clinics they're Australia's leading hair transplant clinics and you can go to grow clinics.com and we're on hello good day mates we have a future champion on our show today this woman is an inspiration her story is phenomenal she should be dead she should be the journey that she's been on is epic yeah and it's only been 2 years and she looks set to go to the par Olympics this year her name is Alexa Le and she's Our Guest today on the Brown Park [Music] podcast Brown podcast question what do you got for me when are you going to send your daughter out to work fulltime oh at what age what as in when she's just going to get a job like macers of whatever yeah well as soon as she's ready so my my eldest has recently turned 13 mhm instantly went I'm going to go and get a job and I've just gone [ __ ] there goes my weekend what good well for the drop off and pickup drop offs pickups well yeah she can catch a bus now so where where does she want to work like boost oh yeah but the interesting thing about it is I've gone okay well jump online look it up go and have a have a check see what's needed and then make an application and do whatever they say on there and she goes okay but I don't want to do it without a friend oh oh yeah cuz life's wired like that isn't it and so that's the conversation I've since had going well no that's not how life works you can't go and get a job with bestie that's it because you're not going to be rosted on with him she goes no but then it's just the thought that we're both working there and I'm like but this is where the growth is children like you have to go to a place where you don't know the people some of them look they some of them are going to be pricks I TR I'm trying to remember back to the stone ages when I first had my first job you got there on a horse and cart and I worked uh my first job was Hungry Jacks oh was it nice and um I was a burger flipper mhm and I didn't join with any friends I didn't know anybody yeah see I mean one of mean I had a law M when I was a kid but I went and got a um job at mackers and half of tweet heads worked at the cooling Gat Ma so I knew people almost every shift yeah okay I knew no one and then I went and got a job at Franklin's oh good old Franklin Franklin's No Frills what' you do there oh god I've set myself up what oh I didn't see this coming no were you a check out I was one of the very first ever checkout chicks male checkout chicks yeah cuz they didn't used to put D put guys on the front counter I was the only one in my Franklin's oh I was the token token testicles on the front CER the token testicles look I've never heard it phrase that way but I like it man though I experienced reversed sexism oh did you at the time yeah oh yeah really you're a guy on the front counter are you really how are you how's your your boyfriend C back in the day I was just like wow and then even to the point that the bosses were all women there yeah you couldn't get away with it now but I remember one of the old loves there was like all right come on [ __ ] go and get your stuff oh okay Karen like wow okay yeah well because even mackas at the time I wanted to be on the front counter because it was way easier job than out the back flipping the burgers and making your fillet of fish and stuff but they wouldn't put guys on the counter no it just wasn't done back then done at all I wouldn't have put a [ __ ] black you on the front C no completely valid and maybe it wasn't just a sexist thing maybe they just didn't want me on the [Music] counter Alexa ly welcome to the show hello hi welcome to my dining room love that for us yeah you should have seen it before before we were here before you got here there was like because it had been raining we'd had all I had all the washing out say we it's no no no you don't live you don't live here um but all my washing was out on the line here so we like I've had to go through and clean up the whole place before you got here and um and if there's a little dog that will be running around here so just please excuse her if there's something licking your feet that's not chisto fine it's um it's yeah my dog hi so but thanks for for doing this thank you um how are you yeah I'm good you've had a big year yeah very big one you've um just come back from Manchester yeah Manchester where you got a gold medal yes I did yes what was that for the 100 the 100 meter freestyle in your category yeah and like I was reading some of the reports that said you absolutely annihilated the competition yeah I tried my best I was like come on let's whip something out you got to go so hard surely bring home a gold I kept telling myself that yeah I was like come on you got to did you did you know your times were going to be that good going into the going into the event um no I didn't I was so nervous the night before I was in a room they put me in a room by myself because I was so like I don't talk to anyone that's how I focus on the race I don't for a week I just don't talk to anyone I put my headphones in I just go I'm not gonna talk not gonna communicate I'm just gonna my zone good job and then yeah I did that and they put me a room by myself and my coach had to come in at like 10: p.m. that night make me a tea a sleeping tea because I wasn't sleeping yeah I was not sleeping what are you listening to on your headphones oh just bang of music I love it so it's not like positive affirmations going you can do this Lex you can do this it's just like Tunes yeah because I tell myself that I go no you can do it you're gonna win this you're gonna do it I find uh reading your story that's kind of like your mantra for your entire life isn't it that you tell yourself you can get through it so like for those that don't know you let's go back before the day that changed your your life what was young alary like oh just wild was Wild Child like yeah I'm ADHD so I'm always on the go go go so I just didn't stop there you go when at 40 40 45 I was diagnosed with ADHD so I never really knew I had it until I was five when I was diagnosed with yeah well half your luck cuz I wasted my whole life until I was 46 so there you go oh wow yeah yeah do you take Med medication medication like right now yeah yeah good job man I take it before the podcast especially cuz um my mind still even when we do a podcast if I don't take the medication then I'm likeing doing everything and you're not meant to be doing everywhere um so you were you were very sporty as a child anyway yeah I was yeah born in 2001 yeah on the go Coast um moved to yber yeah we moved seven years and then we moved to um NSA for eight years yeah and you fell into Triathlon yes I how does how does somebody okay I can imagine I can imagine doing one sport like and doing it well but then doing three Sports in one and nailing it that would be hard y it was but it was worth it because I know with my ADHD I want to do everything so my parents were cyclist still are yeah they to tour to cure and everything my parents are still cyclists and stuff like that and I don't know since I was a little girl I've always been like I want to go do stuff I want to do that I want to do it with them so I would get in the morning bunch with them when I was only 10 and getting the bunch with them in y yeah I had to do everything but I always made myself go I want to do more than just that yeah I want to do extra so I had to do three Sports in one nice yeah so how far were you okay so so at the age of 10 and you were doing triathlons at that age yeah yeah even eight I think I started them when I was like uh seven so how far do they make you run when you're seven and eight for each thing oh not far I would say like a okay okay or even 2K and then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger y yep it did so we've got kids in the other room need probably need to bring them in to hear this cuz I know my daughter at 11 wouldn't be able to do that no no no I wouldn't have been able to do that at 11: yeah would you do it now I wouldn't be able to do that 48 I don't know definitely not um so you were into triathlons and you were so you were doing that as well as school and trying to fit it all in yeah I was how far had you gone in triathlons I saw that you you gotten it was it a silver yeah I I made I was 19 it was like a little bit just for the accident it was um I don't I sadly don't really remember much but um my dad and I still got the meow and stuff I went to Switzerland and I raced the world titles and I got second yeah and then Dad gave me the privilege he goes like just before we left he still tells me this I have a memory but he tells me that he goes if you get a medal or if you get like top three I'll get put you in business class and I did what how old were you 19 oh stop it that's always the goal have you been in business class since no no I haven't there you go should and do you do you remember business class no that's not fair no not fair at all but I know I'm right I'm sure somebody there done that I'm sure somebody will make that happen for you at some point Emirates if you're listening come on on in yeah well look you know you might end up going to Paris so you need to oh yeah yeah you need to business class it over there I think oh for sure I need that mentally got to prepare for it you need the business class I need that so let's let's go to the the date that changed your life forever in uh what was it July 20121 yeah you were competing in a triathlon and I know you said you said you don't remember much about the day so on the day I was doing a morning cycling ride Y and it was just like apparently 100K in already it was a big one 100K yeah apparently something like that maybe 80 I don't know it was close to and that's like the first day my dad tells me it was the first day ever that I've made it this far with the elite Bunch like the first day apparently I hopped off my bike I put my beanie was on my head so I had to put it in my back pocket I messaged my dad and I told him I've made it I've made it 80k with the bunch so far and this is like the top grade Bunch so it was good that I did that yeah and then I said like a little bit more to go and then I put phone back in my bag like in my pocket and yeah I just I went off and then the big accident happened so you clipped somebody's wheel yeah so obviously we were going like 70 70 or 75 km down a hill it was really quick it was like a a steep hill like a berry and with a bunch is all going hard ass and apparently I suck cuz that I'm ADHD of course I suck up on people's whip yeah that's you're going to sit back of course my dad does the same thing apparently I would must have sucked up on someone's back of the like the wheel yeah and yeah I clipped it and then Bo I hit on the right first and then my helmet flung off oh and I went spam on my head on the left I really don't remember so the helmet came up I was going to say if you helmet wouldn't that have helped but far no it flung off and yeah I still have the helmet actually and this little this little thing I made of the helmet to say like it's something special to me how far I've been yeah yeah so on the right has all the damage but my left it flung off has no and that's all there a lot of damage in my brain how damaged is the right hand side of it is it yeah quite damaged but the left has nothing because it flung off and my left side of my head took so so the damage that was on the right of the helmet was essentially then what's transferred to your head without the helmet far out yeah so yeah what I live with now [Music] I was reading that luck was really on your side on that day yeah um and and by that I mean there was uh somebody that saw it happen had the foresight to tell one of the cyclists to get the top of the hill to get reception yeah there was a doctor that was that was watching yes that's the weirdest thing ever on the other side of the road so when I'm going down there was a doctor on the other side going up and he saw it what cycling or just cycling so I was cycling down and the doctor was actually riding up the hill and apparently he saw my fall and everything and he had to put me in a breathing position cuz my lung collapsed so yeah to put me in like a breathing position and stuff like that and then there was a car coming down they copped up like they went up to the hill and like tried to get someone and they got the car to come down and then take them 10 km out to call the ambulance for reception yeah and weirdest thing ever the Ence people were only just around the corner they were doing another not helping anyone they were just around the corner so they came to me quite quick yeah yeah and and also because you'd recently messaged your dad they sort of had a rough idea of where you would be as well right yeah I would say so but my dad was cycling that day as well but he was way behind he didn't he left him for dust slow see you yeah see you later but yeah that's the way it worked but I don't know Dad was like a fair chunk behind but he stopped at another little place and then I don't know he came down when I had left the ambulance had to get me in yeah and you don't remember obviously you don't remember anything so so do you have memories before so from the accident they say because I I did upset my brain very badly so yeah I have a TBI TBI is a traumatic brain injury okay so like I have a fake bone and a shunt in my head really yeah it go I go off at the airport sometimes and I'm like go I don't have drugs I don't have animals it's got a cool head just got a headit of Steel um but yeah so that um what else was I saying where were we just just what that your dad you left your dad behind you left your dad behind and you don't remember anything before no so they say from like the accident so with the TBI I slaughtered my brain very bad I've got one of the worst tbis in Australia all right but yeah so that's annoying but they said they say yeah every day is a hard day but it's all right um so they say from the day of the accident so the 17th of July July yeah 17th of July they said three to four years prior Alexa has no memory don't I really don't some of the people that came in to visit me I only met them a year before the accident no idea who they were I still don't I've got things on my phone I'm like who's this person far out I would consider something like the the the phone you would have all these memories you'd see and go well at least I did this and I did that yeah but there's nothing there I can't can't fa that I don't remember getting second in the world titles I don't remember and people you met and things like that nothing gone crazy no idea and how how's your memory after it so it's f um I actually we made this like little book so every day I would print off what I did and it would go into my book so we've got like lots of little books or started last year I got out of the hospital y so yeah I was doing that to remind myself I would printing off everything and I'd tell my mom what did I do they tell me I'd print off all these little photos that I did in the day and that's how I would know yeah I find it phenomenal that this was only just over two years ago look how far you've come man holy crap holy hell Brown Park grow clinics are proud to support the Brown Park podcast and if you're feeling like your hairlines doing a disappearing act faster than Houdini at a birthday party or maybe you're looking more like a bowling ball than a babe magnet fear not our follicular friends Grow Clinic is here to give your head The Green Thumb it deserves we're not talking about magic beans but they'll have those little hair soldiers marching across your scalp like a Victory Parade grow clinics uses Cutting Edge technology so Advanced it will make your barar Cry tears of Envy plus it's completely painfree and unlike that time you tried to dye your hair blonde with lemon juice admit it you've done it so stop worrying about your Dome and start strutting your stuff with grow clinics they'll give you the main event not just a comb overcome back grow clinics grow your confidence grow your hair and don't wait call them today and check out their website at grow clinics.com and tell them that Brown Park sent you the brown podcast reading your dad's story or reading what your dad recalls of it um was quite emotional because he he was like you know you can see that he was crying a lot and and he said he was crying for like two months or something straight well imagine seeing your daughter in that yeah that' be hectic but you they had to say goodbye like you you were literally called you were literally called a miracle yeah yeah so eight times they had to come and say goodbye yeah so um cuz my lung collapsed so my right side I all the tubes and yeah I have like a still slash inside of here because like they had to put lots of things in because I really wasn't really breathing at all yeah so well I was in ICU for a month yeah and then I got a big Stitch they didn't Stitch me for two weeks because they said to my parents that I'm not going to be here anymore but I know on the second in the first week I had all these I still had all these tubes regardless even when I was at the ambulant like when I at the in the ambulance and stuff they all had to put this stuff for me to breathe I had the tubes in I think yeah and then all of a sudden they said to my mom and dad everyone like they took my tubes out and I didn't breathe so they everyone had to come and say goodbye to me because they put all the tubes back in to say that this is like I'm gone cuz the next day they're going to turn my she like take my tubes out and I'm not because I wasn't breathing were you in a coma then or were you I was in a coma and then so the next day everyone already had to say goodbye to me and it was really sad it was only two weeks and I seeu and they all say goodbye then the next day they took all the tubes out and I went and I breathed all right so that's they say like miracle miracle yeah they Stitch my my knee and my my arm okay now we can fix her it's fixed I fix all the the thing that I find fascinating is that there were so many moments in your life where they basically said no this is it say goodbye no you're never going to walk again never never going to do any of this again they said that I will never ever walk talk again and like Sally say in the hospital I really couldn't I couldn't even speak English I was like I really couldn't there's videos I look back on through and I'm like w I've come so far and the fact that months I had to learn how to walk like yeah it's it's hard would were they telling you that or your parents that my parents because I couldn't formally talk I was because I because I got a TBI so traumatic brain injury it was due CU my helmet flung off that I smacked my head quite very hard that the fact that yes it made me not know any of this I was I was out of it in a coma for months so I really didn't know see I want to know why the doctors actually say that I mean shouldn't they give give the parents hope or something like you know I was so bad yeah that's why they said that I'm someone that's had one of the worst TB in Australia that I'm not gonna live for how bad of the accident I've had yeah but I fought so hard I I'm living so what do you remember about being in hospital do you remember anything about that at all nothing at all but um the weirdest thing is cuz in our brains so my um I destroyed my whole brain but mainly the left which makes it goes opposite and makes my right physically damaged right so that's why I'm used to be right-handed I'm left-handed now my life does everything sometimes when I am out walking doing things I'll have to just stop for a little bit to get this to wake up how do you find that we're swimming so after I race I cannot move for a while I'm just like come on wake up come come on buddy no some coffee on it or some people have to just pick me up and then I hop but then I have to sit on this thing and just awake the right the legs both the whole thing goes out yeah there must be some sort of incredible life force inside of you yeah that wants to succeed and wants to to make something of themselves to be able to to go through what you've been through yeah and particularly when like you know there's stories of you on the news and stuff stuff like that yeah and there's footage of you learning how to walk again what was that like yeah well when I look at it I'm like who cuz like I don't remember rbw Rob in hospital I don't actually formally remember living there for months and I don't remember watching myself like I have to watch the videos because I don't remember I really couldn't walk there was like a lot of the I was in a wheelchair for months and is there a sense of pride in yourself for what you've done should yeah I look at myself and I go well Lex look how far you've actually come well M mean just show I mean this is how far you've come in this short period of time so how far are you going to go when you give yourself years next year in Paris I'm coming for you yeah so so what's the warmup to Paris like what's your regime now because you're obviously in training for Paris yeah when did you get to that point where you go where you you've gotten out of the hospital and you've gone you know what yeah I can I've learned to walk I'm talking again let's go for it what are we going to do yeah so um when when I got out of the hospital I also not only lived in the hospital I lived in a special brain home in baru it's in um Brisbane yep so I lived in um rbw for like five months and then I lived in Buu for like two months and that was so that's that's for very damaged brains so when you've upset your brain very badly and you've just I restarted a new life basically I had to relearn how to I still do every day like I have to somewhat remember things like when to brush my teeth wash my hair I've got to actually inform that in my head so that's when I was there I had to do that all again walking as well so that's a big thing but all through that the brain doctors were like we got to start getting my right side to move with me yeah so I when I was in I don't know my dad when I was in ICU y my dad got a weirdly enough to tell you guys this just it's going it just comes to my head yeah um my dad yeah got this person like a fortune teller to talk to me when I was in ICU and she said that in my brain that I want to I want to walk and I want to talk and I want to go I want to swim I want to go to the par Olympics I said that to her when I was and when I knocked out she said that apparently I said that to my parents you actually spoke it to her my head in my brain I was in ICU she can read [ __ ] there's some really cool people out there that do that and she did and I never got told about this halfway through last year and I was already swimming yeah but in a Tron I'll tell you this one my best leg was the swim yeah best leg yes you smash Nationals when I was a little girl swimming is the best thing ever it just not that's where you build your Gap right [Music] yeah so where did you when did you decide that this I'm going to get back in the pool I'm going to do this I'm I'm right now mhm started last year so in newu I was still in h in Pomona I had to go to rehab yeah so I I was always there every single day rehab and all that stuff like I'm still in rehab and I will be for many years yeah but um I wanted to swim every day I was just like when we after rehab your purpose too but we had to see like yeah my right side wasn't exactly working with me but a little bit like Mom was watching and saying like you're so with it like I haven't lost anything I'm with it but yeah so is it mean you will you right keep getting stronger as you you keep progressing yeah will it will take a bit of time cuz I know that I have like the damage in my Reign for life but that's okay just life's very different but um yeah so I know that my right's not always going to be the best like I'm not right-handed I'm left-handed now so it's like a bit it's never going to be the same well I guess you mean to guess moving being right-handed and now being left-handed I mean if you can learn to walk you can sure as H learn to write with your left hand or do whatever you really can it's actually sem me as good it's okay even brushing your teeth as a right hand with my left and I sometimes because I rehab is to try to get my they've got this like little Playdoh I have to play with to get my right side to move my right hand so we got to do that and I I sometimes brush my teeth with my left and my right my right does it sometimes it's depending how my brain feeling think or you did just whatever you pick it up with and it just yeah it's just whatever whatever my brain is at the day however it's feeling yeah okay good CU yeah that's that's cuz um a part of my TBI I upset my behavior and emotions so I get sad happy angry in a split out of a minute or even in a day I just can't really sadly I did do a lot of damage so yeah my behavior yeah but my behavior is very high yeah so yeah so I'd wake up maybe I want to brush my teeth with my left maybe I want to do it with my right it's depending how my right side's gonna be feeling in my brain I don't want to be crashed but I would find wiping the hardest do you know what I mean I'm not even going there with you no I don't and I don't want it to be crashed but that was the first thing was like oh my God you literally have to learn everything again but with your left hand yes yes you would yes you would thank you for that thank you for that uh you know um visual far out so how were your mom and dad through I mean how are they how were they through that period because obviously as you know fathers of girls how' they hold up yeah well my dad's my best friend so so good and my mama yeah they um literally they paid no not paid they actually went next door they so Royal brisen Hospital I lived at they got the resort right next door dad booked a place for me for them to live at that's cool a for the whole time because they're like they going to keep coming over to me but my brothers were in grade 12 and 10 and I was in hospital yeah so it was very hard yeah so they were graduating one was graduated and I was in hospital and it was like halfway through the year so was the end towards the end of the year I was still in hospital so my parents had to literally I know what they did cuz my poor my brothers were a mess y because I wasn't well but what happened is they had to get people to from all over NSA to give them their like food like always because Brothers don't have mom and dad with them yeah yeah they always came to the hospital to see me as photos yeah it's great when a community comes together to help help a family like that well that leads into the move for Lex yeah because that really took off because people got behind your story yeah so what is move FX it it was a it was originally a like people just donating to help you out but now it's become a movement of time yeah and it wasn't even a donation it was actually just a thing to write move for Lex move for me because I really really couldn't for like months I really couldn't move I couldn't walk and I couldn't talk so what they did was my sisters started it actually yeah my sisters started it and along with my parents as well because they're like let's get people moving for those who can't really and move for me and then they started doing a fund like funding for towards the hospital rbw and we raised a lot of money 250,000 for the hospital MX raised it y because yeah it's a big thing and what do move Flex now what do you what do you do with it it's still it's still there it's still fun fundraising still there and stuff but there's another little thing that I made for the hospital cuz I'm always on the news and I got up and I spoke something which is very true so when the accident happened my family they what have nowhere to stay nowhere to nothing they have no like no support they don't have anything so we start this new thing me and my dad flex f Lex and that is where we've done a lot of more fun like fising fundraising yes we did more for um parents and for people in general when they have a sick kid and they've got nowhere for accommodation theyve got I guess you have for for young kids you have like the McDonald house that's for for the little ones but but maybe not for for older kids because it's it's a financial burden on on the like living in Roy was in hospital it's like where are they going to get accommodation and everything so that's what we did and we we spoke I got up and spoke about on the news and my dad did too and it's been this new thing and there's a lot of money going towards it so whenever there's they've got nowhere they go straight to rbw P the funding of it all they give them the money for their that's incredible yeah Brown we interrupt this podcast to say a huge huge thank you to our sponsors grow clinics now if you're tired of fighting the losing battle with hair loss grow clinics offers Advanced results driven hair transplant Solutions with proven Effectiveness the minimally invasive procedures utilize the latest techniques to transplant healthy hair follicles from donor areas to the thinning of boarding areas this means natural permanent hair growth not quick fixes or gimmicks now what can you expect I hear you ask well their experienced surgeons boast a 95% success rate in hair transplant procedures ensuring visible long-lasting results most procedures are completed in a single day with minimal discomfort and it's a super quick recovery time they meticulously plan and execute trans plans to achieve a natural hairline and hair density that blends seamlessly with your existing hair and every patient receives a tailor made treatment plan based on their unique needs and goals so take control of your hair loss today visit their website at grow clinics.com to book a free consultation and tell them Brown Park cent in a world that's often defined by its shadows I'm here to shine a light on the power of redemption and resilience of the human Spirit I'm Russell maner welcome to the stickup my journey is one of stark contrast from a past stain with bank robberies prison Wars to the present where I openly explore the depths of trauma survival transformation and hope how did you take that brave like when when someone says your role model is not here no more how did you take that it's just a moment that time I don't talk about that but but it impacts me greatly and it will forever join me each week as I engage with guests who have navigated the darkest corners of their own lives my other sister who was sitting on the floor her back snapped up and I went oh my God it's happened to her too subscribe now to the stickup with me Russell maner and embark on a journey that goes beyond the surface if if I look at my career I never want to win the Grand Final I want to be in the top four or the top six for my whole career you know you want to keep the hunger yeah for sure that's the hunger search the stickup on Spotify YouTube or wherever you get your podcast hey while we've got your attention listen up we just want to ask a quick favor if you could go to your podcast provider wherever you're listening to this and write a lovely review give it a rating do whatever you can we would be most appreciative or even at the very least just hit that little subscribe button so then the episodes when we release them come up in your feed exactly that is all back to the show as you were thank you the brown podcast were your parents working at what my dad yeah yeah yeah imagine that as a father having to keep up your job and then having your daughter you know Gravely sick to to navigate that would be so hard so you know obviously props to them for managing that yeah my dad just like he somewh kept not really they stopped working completely really yeah don't work at all what made you keep going was there a little voice inside your head that just sort of kept going I've got to do this I've got to get up screw this I'm going to keep going I'm not going to let this beat me yeah like dead said I got so much motivation so much push like Drive yeah I'm a person when you want it you're G to get it yeah like that's what I do like I'm I'm so much for that and I'm a person like I I've got like a never die attitude I'm like yeah want clear you beat it eight times like I've got to yes exactly so I'm just so driven the things but that's where the positive of an ADHD brain comes into play too because we get fixated on something and we just drive forward it saw my psychiatrist when I got diagnosed he said be focused on everything that ADHD is taken away from you focus on the things that it has given you because it actually does serve a purpose it does in your life so much drive yeah that's it it that's definitely would have helped do you find that when you're not on the medication it's just like Ping Ping it's different going crazy y oh I'm doing everything in a hot minute and like yeah I have support workers with me yeah and they they help me a lot of the time like it's really great they're like awesome but like what is I one minute exactly but like sometimes sometimes yeah he's got to be on to it when I'm having my meds like Lex take your dexis now medication well you cuz me even me sometimes I'll take them and five minutes later I'm like have I have I taken them yeah you don't actually formally remember you taking them I don't have a memory anyways but I destroyed that one too so there you go you got the double double sword I mean like cuz when we went to Barley a little like a year and a half and um I didn't take my medication with me cuz he was frightened of well cuz at I I didn't have the letter cuz if you Trav to Indonesia like was you know considered narcotics or whatever so I left him at home worst thing I did I would have preferred to have a prison sentence and um than not have him because my wife I mean the reason that I jumped on him because my marriage was getting affected because I was never focusing and just doing everything confused so then we get to Barley I'm not on my medication and I think that was the true validation that medication works and you need to be on it cuz I was because he'd just sit there and go all right we're going to the beach for some Long Island Ice te let's go and you're gone the kids are like sitting there like what are we doing and the wives are like what what are you doing yeah for sure yeah and I've come back with a 100 Rolexes yeah so I want to talk about your regime uh every day because we were talking about this before we got on the show um and you are going hardcore for Paris MH what is your daily regime what are you doing now to to to make sure that you are going to make that team oh like I know like it's really hard for me at times because my I am in so I want to go to the par Olympics because I am in a classification of S9 so S1 to S10 is physical damage I am not the best is S10 I'm S9 because my right side really doesn't work with me like against me sometimes and then I'm like come on buddy that's let's do it but um yeah I can't really do any other strokes but freestyle y but that's all right so when you wake up in the morning you're going to the pool oh yeah so I wake up and I literally do my brain exercise I do does jet wake you up or you just I just have my own place and with a roommate oh yeah we just wake up I just wake up and I go training and um I do a brain exercise ask what the brain exercise is yeah so I do this brain exercise and there's I also had I also go to Charlie Tio do you know who that is yeah I go to him a lot of the time he's um brain surgic y yeah one one of the country's best okay yeah he shoots like my brain and it actually has repaired me like it's actually he said it will take eight to 10 years for me to be somewhat better but never I'm never going to be fully healed yeah but that is that's okay but what happens is it's making me less so my behavior less ra like High yeah it's giving it lower P getting lower lower lower which is good so so get up do brain exercises brain exercises what is exercise what is it Cameron gives me myand exercise I just put this thing on my head and I watch this person run then slowmo it's actually do this medical visual yeah it's like it's no it's just this little thing that goes around my head and I just watch it and it's like clocking it's got things in it that's clocking my brain to the screen and Mak R activities and stuff then you jump in the pool yep I so I get there like yeah I get to the pool after my brain exercises and I usually train in the mornings with John and how far are you swimming in the L A lot sometimes it's like 600 in the morning and then or not even in the morning some would be like i' say 4 in the morning 600 at night so you swim for a couple hours then obviously diet and and other exercises and things like that oh my God so diet diet's hard for me because I love my bubble tea so I can't help myself that's all the craze too isn't it yeah it's the best thing ever I've never had one never had had really yep what are those things in it just pears they're pears yeah pearls are what what are they just like starch brown sugar and so foodwise you have to is that playing a big part of what you have to do at the moment apart from bubble tea because like yeah the thing is they're trying to get me a new like dietitian or person for like my food I already have one because I'm through I'm I'm in the Australian team so like yeah it all goes through to that and stuff like that that they can provide that for me so that works but yeah so I just think that I need to be back on like not eating lots of junk things like pull myself like no Lex no I want it see that be tough it's really hard when it's so good see see the gym that I go to is well you know my wife will back to DEA because I don't go that often anymore need to go more but there's a KFC right at the front of my gym and every time the best thing ever I know right so you come out of the gym and it's all like a smell it's like oh my God okay let's just go over there for a little bit just little I've worked it work for it oh God chicken's the best thing ever yeah it's the best oh my God not going to lie that popcorn chicken and bubble tea all right we're none yeah Best Thing their winners see and and and look where you are because of it yeah so when do you find out about Paris oh so I go through classifications and then they'll give me the classification and then I just have to swim a time that will give me the approval to go now having said that you did Manchester M where you absolutely blit the competition I did a pretty good time so yeah so Paris should be a fairly good thing oh I hope so I'm I'm I'm hoping that I go but we we'll have to wait and see yeah yeah how do you feel about it oh awesome well I mean clearly I love that she can she's going to you're going to get there clearly you're so you're so driven for yeah for sure so good Crepes oh my goodness you going there for the food not for the Olympics right sorry about that have you ever been to Paris before yeah we so with the um before we went to Manchester we lived so we're away for a month yeah we lived in France for three weeks first and that's where we do all our prepping like our training and a gym we got a gym there and everything but on our days off which is good occasionally went to the Eiffel Tower went to the church going say you're too busy training to not even yeah no when we got a free moment we're allow there's a pool there so we got to tan and stuff like that we still we just we got to be our focus on the swim swim swim how beautiful is Paris oh so nice um and want to ask I mean we touch on it off air but financially somebody in your position you you're training do you have a full-time job or your full-time job is actually is the swimming yeah and also due to like the damage in my brain like the neuro doctors were like saying that like it's not capable of me of getting a job or having a job because I formally still learning life things sure like and how to because I upset my brain so I've got a behavior coach someone to teach me how to I don't know like less anger less sadness and all those little things I upset my brain with that um yeah so I'm just learning different ways of how to communicate to others and how to speak in a better A Better Way yeah yeah cuz imagine I mean especially if you if you get angry or whatever then you there'd be zero control I put like a holes in the wall like I would I go put holes in the wall and stuff like that I just my anger is just I don't I can't control it but sometimes it's okay but seeing as I'm getting better daily it's a lot better and the sadness as well that' be tough very very I was on depression meds last year and stuff like that like I just upset my brain a bit are you bad are you hard on yourself anymore or are you proud of what you're achieving I am pretty hard of myself that was the number one thing I just wanted to say so start of this year I started with my behavior coach and she asked me what are the things that you love about yourself Lex and I said nothing I don't like myself I hate myself and she goes what she goes you know what we need to start doing you need to start writing a quote on your wall every day in the end you need to do that you keep looking at every day so every single day I wake up I put a quote on my wall and at the end of it I put Lex because it's directed at me yeah because the more I learn to love myself the more I'm going to love others around me my family so to stop the anger stop being that's it's interesting that you don't love yourself when you're achieving such great things I know but I just it's hard because I restarted a new life I st on I only just got my license by the way guys conratulations got my hey yeah two and a half years that's very cool though so you had to do the test again and go to the I back of myo last year Jes only 20 I was only 20 but yeah um onlya that was the only allowable thing and um yeah it took a long time I do this test on the iPad all the time it's just the brain so it's like that but yeah and then I finally got it awesome yeah finally got it got some Independence back in that space that be beepic so good you should be incredible proud of yourself I am yeah but yeah I I think I am be easy go easy on yourself I mean it's I'm a bit hard on myself and there's not many athletes that aren't because it takes a certain motivation to get to the point that you're at but with it if you look at where you were two years ago to where you are now there should be an immense sense of pride of what you've achieved and what you're achieving but also not only that but what you're doing for people that have followed your story yeah yeah like you're truly an inspiration um to to young women particularly but also to to people that have been in your situation that can overcome what should have killed you yeah and didn't and you are living proof of it yeah even parents that have children or anyone that have had a or suffered a TBI yeah seeing your story would give them so much hope that we can get through this look at what Alexa's done let's just keep on this path because it' be easy to give up and throw your hands and it would be but no you got to have that in your head that you've got this you've got to say got this leg come on I to keep telling myself that you have Alexa ly um where can we follow you you've got your socials which is just your name Alexa ly yeah and then there's MOX because when I look at move Flex I go like you move for those who can't surely your life has got to be a movie at some point yeah I reckon and a book yeah there got to be something for sure yeah I think yeah there's been some offers but yeah I think so something like maybe we we'll wait and see well excellent and don't forget Flex Flex the other one too there's that one too helping put all of that in the show notes of the podcast and good luck in getting gold in them in Paris oh I can't wait like surely I take more than just one yeah worry you'll be fine my 50 in the my 50 at M Chester was silver I was like come on come on you failed what I was like every time I got to show people just my gold left see you later silver first loser who are you Alex thank you very much for joining us on the show and giving us your time today thanks thank you so much thanks Brown podc why are you happy I don't want to be sad