with our GMA cover story about a Tennessee mom of four who is getting real when it comes to volunteering for school or Sports as a parent she simply said no she calls herself the venmo mom Ariel Rush up is here to explain and Ariel this comes right after you told us about the surgeon general's warning about overwhelmed parents yeah that's right Gio we've all been talking about this and we know that parents face many demands for their time and there's often added pressure to get involved with our kids schools and their activities now the self-described venmo mom saying her quiet part out loud in a viral video sounding off about just saying no she's the straight talking Tennessee mom whose minute long Tik Tock video is going viral I don't want to be on PTO PTA room mom t- Mom I don't want to do any of that Casey Neil embracing the idea of doing less saying no to volunteering and coining a new phrase venmo Mom I'm like no I know they're judging me because I'm not raising my hand I don't want to come in I don't want to set up if the room mom needs money for everyone to participate fine I'll them owe money right over and this morning Neil speaking to GMA telling us between work and four kids ages 3 to 11 she's already at capacity encouraging other parents to be honest when it's all just too much I thought it was me that felt like I wasn't doing a good enough job as a parent because I just am so burnt out from Sports and homework and to and from and work and um but it was nice to know that like there's a whole mom Community that's like girl I got you this week Surgeon General VC Murthy issuing an advisory warning that parents especially in the age of social media are facing pressure and the weight of unrealistic expectations with 48% reporting most days their stress is completely overwhelming right now at the beginning of the school year we carry this incredible weight of trying to be everything to everyone and showing up as that perfect parent but yet what we really have to do is just step back and look at what best works for our family unit Neil says it's not about throwing money at a problem but instead setting limits those moms that are making that happen and taking other moms cash and making sure that team bonding is fun and um classroom parties like that is a part of my kids's childhood and I appreciate that and I'll be right there in the corner at the class party and if you need me to VMO you let me know this one truly has so many parents talking and experts say it's important to realize that we all have our ways to contribute and how we lean in as parents is really a personal choice it's also better to commit to what is realistic in your life and have those conversations with your kids ahead of time so they know what you're going to commit to you're not going to I got to say yeah exactly I got to say I sent this to my best friend who is on the other side of the spectrum like she's the one that's volunteering for everything but we need that we need the moms that do everything and the moms that show up in other way she has four kids she has a job I mean I don't blame her for contributing in a way that she feels like she can it is a really good conversation and by the way it's been going on since my generation before you know it was all being put out there on the internet it's it's what can you do you know and do it well just reserve the judgement 100% And we see how much all three of you do as well so you can say no