Gutfeld! 8/30/24 FULL HD | FOX BREAKING NEWS TRUMP August 30, 2024

[Applause] thank you thank you thank thank you thank you can somebody help that poor woman who fainted happy Thursday everyone this fall Chris Christie will teach a class at Yale on how to run a political campaign uhoh there he'll discuss everything he's ever done and then say don't do that the class will only be open to 10 students because that's the most that'll fit in there with him the class will be very inclusive considering Christy is fluent in over eight sandwiches and any student bringing an apple should be aware he won't accept it unless it's dipped in Caramel he's a friend KLA Harris has been roundly criticized for bringing Tim Waltz along with her for tonight's CNN interview but supporters say America's used to her dragging around a creepy old white [Applause] guy Harris has claimed she once worked at McDonald's but people are finding it very hard to verify this although one former employee says she did put him in jail why would she lie anyway a Venezuelan migrant gang was caught on camera taking over an apartment complex in Aurora Colorado authorities are at a loss on how to negotiate with people so willing to risk their sec security deposit you know I like that joke and I resent you for not laughing I approve this resentment Thank You Laundry experts may have uncovered where your missing socks have gone they may have been sucked into improperly inserted lint filters although some men might have just put them down the front of their pants [Applause] Colorado man survived a night alone on a mountain after his co-workers left him behind during an office retreat hell why didn't we think of this huh I saw that one coming according to the US Surgeon General parenting can be hazardous to your health due to high levels of stress especially when your kids hate your guts yeah just keep it on there we love you Jamie and finally sources say Baron Trump will not follow in his Father's Footsteps and instead will go to school somewhere in New York Hunter Biden however still plans on following his Father's Footsteps by banging Jill all right let's do a monologue now I don't want to get ahead of myself cuz then all I do is stare at my ass but what if Trump wins who would he ask to join his merry pirate ship of radicals what about Elon Musk this week former Navy SEAL Shan Ryan mentioned that musk expressed an interest in being part of the second Trump Administration H I wonder if he and Elan have a great relationship is he great is he a totally unusual character and do we have to cherish our Geniuses have a great relationship he's great he is a totally unusual character do you know Elon at all I don't he's great and he's smart and we have to cherish our Geniuses you know we don't have too many of them right mm he's right we don't have enough Geniuses but this Trump musk matchup is like one of those videos where an owl becomes friends with a lion you know I just love unexpected m match ups you don't like this or this wow and this but would Trump put musk in the cabinet I put him in the cabinet absolutely but I don't know how he could do that with all the things he's got going but he can sort of as the expression goes consult with the country and give you some very good ideas he's right musk could offer a ton of good ideas plus it would be fun to see how many government workers he gets pregnant but if you don't think musk is qualified remember he runs X and Tesla and launches Rockets the only thing Biden has been known to launch as an underwear rocket after his metam musal smoothie and have you seen Biden's hires it looks like they sent a head hunter to the bar in Star Wars so what's so radical about a president having smart people in his cabinet be a nice change from the Biden Harris White House Which is less a cabinet and more a padded cell think about it mayor Pete blinkin Rondo Cardona Garland mayorcas it's like they found these people under the roommates wanted section of Craigslist but Trump you know he should treat his cabinet like Oceans 11 put together the most elite team of Brant mines across multiple Fields get the best CEOs or other great thinkers instead of lifelong politicians make it the opposite of the Biden clim clown show where they cast for diversity instead of Brilliance and didn't care about the end result and it seems like Trump's already thinking that way Tulsi gabber and RFK Jr have already joined his White House transition team that's two former Dems working for Trump which is akin to the Dems like Maxine Waters joining Aryan Brotherhood welcome aboard and apparently the pair have said they' contribute to the Trump lineup in their fields of expertise for RFK it could be chronic diseases or legal reform or how to get sick abs and for Tulsi why not foreign policy it'd be nice to have a Secretary of State who can bring us peace without leaving a trail of unfortunate suicides but who else could Trump tap Joe Rogan Mike Row Dana White Bill Amman Kid Rock how about Larry cudow as treasury secretary he's smarter than Janet Yellen and his haircut wasn't brought to you by Tupperware judge Janine could be attorney general finally we could Deport haraldo never over the right he could be secr AR of State what better way to reflect America than Outsourcing an important job to an Indian Tyrus could head up Homeland Security hell he's big enough to be the Department of Homeland Security part time part time part part time cat could be the Secretary of interior cuz she never leaves her house kill me could head up the the Department of Transportation after all his career is a train wreck how about Pete heith the head of Veterans Affairs you know he'll uphold the Constitution when he's got it tattooed on his arm then there's me what should I do perhaps a new position for Secretary of muscles yeah you won't get ripped off you'll you'll just get ripped look we already got the makings of the most Anti establishment presidency in history so let's start there and then create a merry unpredictable perhaps even eccentric band of Rogues with specific talents make it the perfect pirate ship and isn't this exactly how this country was founded not by arrogant rent seeking insiders and bureaucrats but Renegades and miscreant our founding fathers weren't The Establishment they were Rebels badasses and even Playboys they make the crew on Oceans 11 look like the Rats from car for kids so why not model a cabinet after them you could do worse hell we've seen worse up close bottom line our founding fathers weren't people who got along with others if that were true we'd still be speaking English perod is let's welcome tonight's guest like diets and taxes he's used to being cheated on actor writer comedian Jamie the [Applause] S this young lass will go far with a name like an Irish bar Fox Business correspondent kellyo Grady we never thought a twig could get this big New York Times best selling off contributor cat too and his idea of a lunchbox is a restaurant New York Times bestselling author comedian [Applause] Jamie you're familiar with a Dream Team your wife had one consisting of lawyers when she took everything that you owned mhh what do you see Trump doing I'm excited about his cabinet I think I'm sick of the you know they they F in B do you ever know Biden's cabinet was filled with prescription bottles and Vaseline and so by the way RFK that photo my good is it normal to be able to see someone's heart what does that guy do for heart in the gym oh my good I would like to defend uh KL a little bit here you know she's getting a lot of flack for bringing her buddy with the CNN interview is it possible she's just used to watching Joe have handlers everywhere whether it's when he's walking or in the bathroom um right maybe by the way ever since Joe moved in they're calling at the White House with brown spots and um [Applause] should I stop there Jamie it it might be the right thing to do um I'm being honest I I love that you Kelly welcome to the show was why not do something I mean he's over his White House is already considered kind of like Renegade just by him being there assuming he wins why not think outside the box so to speak well I mean absolutely right I mean that that's kind of what president Trump is known for his whole campaign people love that about him I don't love Elon Musk though as a pick and especially if I'm a Tesla shareholder every Tesla investor is going dear God no not another thing for this man to add to his plate if you own Tesla and you're watching at home sell if he heads up because that is going to go down the stock um I I don't love him to be advising on artificial intelligence that's been kind of thrown around I hate when you have people who are in the U the cabinet or or rather uh advising on this stuff and they have a financial interest in a certain space but I do love imagining what it would be like in their meetings because both of them are are known to be talkers yeah they're known to be passionate um they they're known to get sidetracked you would really need someone to just pull them all together and be like okay so the question was this yes let's get back yeah they talked for like almost three hours was it last yeah yeah and it was like they talked like for one hour on one topic and it was them know do how does he have how does Elon build Rockets he does Tesla and then he does he smokes weed and does podcast for three hours get all of the time I had one show yesterday I took two naps cat um would you ever work in the White House like if you like if they asked you to do something would you do it or you so adamant against government you wouldn't work for them the only thing I would do is that they would just let me Shut things down I don't want to I don't want add but I think I think that actually what Trump would need would be somebody like like Kelly here to say we need he needs somebody to say I don't love that you can't have all yes people around you you have to have people who can be honest with you you have to have people where you know you show them the outfit that you're planning to wear and they say what else do you have right you know because if you're surrounded by all people who are not a who are too afraid to disagree with you that doesn't mean people who hate you obviously it could be people who trust you have to make sure you have all yes people around you because otherwise people it's not going to go well for you I think that's that's that's um very important for for everyone really yes I'm a huge proponent of yes people right tus no thank you not welcome would you ever if if if Trump called you up and said uh Tyrus I think you're great I think you're awesome you're keep going yes I'd like you to be I'd like you to be in my cabinet uh I'd like to like do press secretary part-time I think that would be fun just to just to go at reporters you know and uh insist on things like follow-up questions uh there'll be no notebooks because the one we saw for the last three and a half years had no answers in it so there's no point in having it yeah um and the one thing we would do is we would push hard to be everybody had to be vetted so going back to this kamla McDonald's you know issue yeah she came from a loving family right so I'm sure they have a picture of her first day at McDonald's so put that picture up there and shut everybody up listen I understand I worked at Arby's for 6 minutes yeah no I I did I showed up 15 minutes late and uh they were like yo you're late and I was like oh the watch is The White Man's tool and uh then they say okay start on dishes oh it's cuz I'm black you want me to wash dishes I'm not doing it and then the black manager said to me you can go yeah so did you see I uh I saw part of the interview it was only 18 minutes long where kamla actually said that we had these we had uh deadlines that were bound to time and I'm like trying to think what other deadlines are there that aren't B down to time who was her speech writer Edgar Allen po it was the worst day it was the first day yeah it was the best day yeah she's she's she looked miserable but anyway it was CNN what do you expect up next cat ladies give kamla a gift without consulting Taylor Swift a live stream feston with swift loveing goons our video of the day comes to us from swifties for comma to our Zoom fundraiser with Taylor Swift fans including Liz Warren and self- proclaimed original cat lady Carol King watch please let's elect kamla Harris the next president of the United States swifties you can get this done so make the Friendship braceless get out to vote talk to your fellow swifties about what's at stake in this election if Taylor's music gives you that that jolt gives you that sense of community which I know that it does for so many on here channel that I'm excited about kamla because so many people are excited about kamla Taylor uh in inducted me into the rock and roll of Hall of Fame and she sang my song will you love me tomorrow so I have to go plays going to play play play play play play haters going to hate hate hate hate hate baby I'm just going to shake shake shake shake shake I Shake It Off I shake it off you know I sing the same thing at the urinal Kelly I that almost compels me to vote specifically to cancel out one of their votes was that persuasive at all to you uh it was not I also I mean first of all trying to say associate being a single cat lady with Taylor Swift cuz she owns cats Taylor Swift has not been single for more than 5 minutes of her life okay she's always got a new boyfriend which you know power to her um but I'm curious what she thinks about this right because she has not come out and endorsed anyone this time she did endorse Biden last time but if she's smart she won't you know back in the day she started as well a country artist I think she was going to open for Kenny Chesney at one point I went to a Kenny Chesney concert two weeks ago I did not see any comma supporters okay I saw a bunch of Maga hats and I think she knows you know just as Michael Jordan say says rather uh Republicans buy sneakers too Republicans listen to her music there you go cat do you have Tim like Swift these are there do you have Tim that like like uh I don't know do stuff like that I don't think that they do stuff like that I I do have people who like me oh that's good yeah that's all I wanted to know I was worried do you know that they raised 144 Grand first thought you were going to say $144 that would be but there were 30,000 people so 144 divided by 30 is about 40 bucks that's not bad a person that was pretty good math huh was I just the singing I I was reallys I was I was disturbed by it yes and I wish she didn't do that because I kind of liked I liked what she was saying until she did that yeah I like that she said I'm excited about kamla cuz I'm seeing a lot of people excited about comma yes I thought that that was very honest yeah it's true because that's really the reason people are excited is it's this this feeling that they have that they it's not like a what policy of hers are you the most excited for that's not really a question you can answer so I appreciate the honesty but one of my favorite things to watch is Liz Warren tries to be relatable yes she started this call like saying High swifties yes never in your life have you had you had someone told you what that was yes it was like when she first tried to open up a beer remember that oh yeah I'm going to get myself a beer yeah a beer and she asked her husband if he wanted one he looked at her like what's happening yeah she's crazy Tyrus um well to be fair English is her second [Laughter] [Applause] language you know um since since Taylor was not affiliated should they imprison these people for doing this by the way can we discuss that there were men male swifties is that masculine is it the new kind of masculinity um at the last Alpha masculine toxic mail meeting um Symposium oh that hurt my brain how I can't say um it didn't come up yeah between weightlifting and chugging beer it never came up like oh actually the song one of the guys turned the song on he was beating the submission um this whole but this is the problem like no grandparents don't try to be cool to their grandchildren be you know like when when you see people old enough to say they remember when Jesus Christ was walking telling you that their hip Tucka Tucka like check me out it's the exact turnoff Trump should use this he should run this if you don't vote for me you have to the swifties are coming like and then you have her take take take I mean that was I'm going to be honest with you I peed a little I was so scared like I didn't know like I understand now what a dog feels like when the fire to truck drives by cuz I was like we can stop that's this is what they're running on feelings yes like when you first you meet before you married up and all that stuff when you meet her the first time the smile when you see your home boys then you get married and the the feelings turn into facts and you go from this the I like how they just went to Jamie a they just went to Jamie I didn't even like you say Jamie has rested sad dad face yes were you just thinking when you when you watch that video Jamie that you will never be that popular yeah I will I actually choose this moment to announce that I will be uh supporting Trump with a Club of my own if anyone wants to sign up now you can be the first person to sign up and um that was horrible even did you notice even The Interpreter during that song was rolling her eyes going um which that's three nights in a row by the way I don't know that's three nights in a row we're on a streak by the way when that when you do that when the sign language interpreter does that does that mean masturbate I it means change the channel my my remote's broken I don't I was actually watching the subtitles and it said yatsi um I tried to watch this thing just I try to watch it do research it's like a little survey at the beginning and it was like do you have a penis I said yes and it logged me out and so haters are going to hate hater haters hate this you're right haters hate and by the way you don't need to say single cat lady you can just say cat lady isn't it disrespectful to people assuming they can't read yeah you can't just have captions on there like they don't read apparently like like it's a lost art also it's kind of it's kind of interesting that to be a deaf person who's also a Swifty maybe that's maybe that's the best kind that's a that's an excellent point oh my goodness you know I feel like Swifty should mean when someone kicks you in the balls I know it's off topic way off topic but that's just how I feel in my house Swifty is what you clean the floor with yes Swifty I love those up next doctors say it's true parenting is killing you Surgeon General parenting is hazardous all right tyus the US Surgeon General warns parenting can be harmful to your health due to Dangerously high levels of stress citing data that half of parents reported feeling overwhelmed with its with it most days isn't this kind of like so government oh this is a very tough thing so don't do it yeah it's stressful oh when they said it to my dad he took them right to and he disappeared so at least he's not stressed out that's cool this is the stupidest ever heard in my life yeah I'm sorry like I'm sorry uh every time one of my kids does something cool or I I I feel it adds years to my life and every time they mess up I enjoy getting revenge for all the times I got in trouble when I was a child so PE parenting is is is a tough job it is a sacrifice so if you and you're not their buddies and your friends not raising your kid and letting them grow up is more dangerous to your health and your neighbor's Health yeah so you better reel the little bastards in and raise them cat uh you're going to be a parent soon God willing uh do you find this to be somewhat I don't know stupid in the sense that it's like duh yeah yeah yeah I actually really really hate when people tell me how hard it's going to be yeah I it's like I'm yeah I'm not a 16 right like I waited it's not like I waited until I was of the age that is a geriatric pregnancy because I'm not afraid of this like I'm already scared to do it so like leave me alone and I just it's I I did like to see like one word in this article that said there's also some Joy yeah they don't want I was like wow great to know cuz it's weird cuz being pregnant is it sucks and it's hard but man it's I think sometimes it's going to be so weird when the baby lives in my apartment yeah that's even weirder and like need stuff yeah and then it's going to get older and it's going to be like no and I'm going to be like what the Yeah get used to know right now you think I'm not thinking about this I know that it's going to be so hard but like don't be like oh your whole life's about to change yeah yeah I'm aware of that yeah right now your body's a one-bedroom oh my yeah it is wh why is that insulting I don't understand goes oh there's a baby in here that's why we're having this conversation but you know what's okay so what's interesting is you're seeing this Vibe Jamie and this is a serious question I'm actually not going to say horrible things about you and your kids but there is this overarching vibe that children are a a a baggage it's as though we should all not have them it's and and that uh it's like it it just Falls in line with all of the advice they're bad for the climate we're overpopulating it's it's this message don't have them we already are born we're good that's a great point and it's also like to cat's Point like why are you telling me this why me like why are you telling me it's not like I can go like oh this is bad for me this year I'm going to be healthy I'm going to cut down on carbs and children yeah right like I'm oh my kids I'm trying to quit like it doesn't make any sense and I I would like to propose I don't know if Elon Musk could do this or someone else but what if we only got information that could help us like a search engine where I don't have to hear that kids cost $500,000 or something tell that to someone who doesn't have kids yet what if there was a way to cultivate only things that would help me right like maybe every morning I get an article that says hey masturbation's way better than sex I just don't think you need and it's we it's hard like ter is so right you need that message Jamie listen J you're put put a button on it Jamie okay the greatest yeah and keep it in your pants the greatest the greatest and I've accomplished many things in my I've lived many lives and I've had many CH whatever the greatest title in my life is Dad I would trade there's nothing you love it it makes you the best you you find out who you are as a man when you have children I can't wait to find out who I am as a man yeah my favorite achievement was when I was called daddy mhm okay cost me 100 bucks an hour hey you know what I find interesting Kelly is I think about parents of old and the their parents do you think that the word stress even existed you just called it life it's like people I I think like the the concept of stress was only to for buildings and then sometime in the 7s all of a sudden they applied it to humans like your parents your grandparents they were like think oh this is so stressful no they just were like this is what we do right I think you're exactly right I I think you know back in the day it was just like okay like this is what we do I am of the opinion I like that we're talking about this so that if you are going to have a kid you go into this with eyes WI open um because there are going to be those moments tius like like you said where it's amazing but there are also those times you're going to be like why why did you spill that all over the couch and you ruined it so I think you know it's it's important to think about that it's important to think about the fact that like nowadays versus back when my parents were having me financially it's so tough to raise a kid you have to plan for it but then when you going to put what are you going to spend the money on anyway oh we vacation a lot more because we don't have kids you ever see those stories like in the New York Times or something it's like you know hey we're living our best life we're going to Malaysia it's like who cares yeah and then 6 months later the nanny's preg yeah but to that point to that point it's important to think about those things so that when you are ready you are financially ready no it's ever ready that's the I'm certainly not ready ready nobody's ready I'm the king of not being ready I had three in one year should have three different uteruses it out there a children trade school where you can trade your kids for a different kid oh that's not like if it doesn't work out you go like okay this one didn't work out you get you like the par the two parents have to be okay with it to trade their kids my kid asked if there was one for Dad's there is okay I mean that literally happened to you yes uhhuh call step I don't know why everybody laughed coming up Vermont schools Vermont schools which fore speech look at the look at the th look at the way ey look at the at fore fore speech foree that was it no know move it done