we pulled up to Scott's grandmother's home in night Dale after paying the two-story home a full Gander I observed Scott we're good he nodded yeah the kid wouldn't even look me in the face Scott you'll be fine Sunday will be here before you know it and on Monday I'll be fussing behind you to get out of the house for school on time one side of his mouth lifted telling of his relenting worry I'll be on time he rolled his eyes in the most adorable way and so will I I assured him now you have the number to the hotel where I'll be staying and remember our secret I know don't tell anyone you'll answer from me yep I enunciated the pee you and only you then I elbowed him gently you're going to have a great time your grandmother will get you to school on time and pick you up then you'll make that special visit on Friday so she's picking you up early Scott's nod still consisted of dejection making my tummy toil I offered him my fist he returned it with a gentle pound can you at least let me know when you land up there isn't it cold up North with my chin resting on my mounded fist I nodded just got cold which is strange October's the best flex for those last days of summer temps although it isn't summer you miss it Miss what New Jersey Scott clarified I mean I know we're in North Carolina and all but righ ain't the country I smiled even broader no it's not Raleigh is mildly Metropolitan but my hometown East Orange is a lot different in Pace and culture you didn't answer my question which was do you miss it taking in a deep breath my eyes drifted and I considered that for a moment honesty it was my new approach to the people in my life swallowing I admitted lately I have been see man Scott curled over his lap yanking his blonde hair at the skull Scott I warned him I'm sorry I really am but something just feels off he lifted and shook his head look at me I demanded voice controlled the torment in his eyes jump started my anxiety about this trip like last year the one before the one before that and so on I'll be back I promise Scott I saw it Scott a 13-year-old who lived through more trauma than I could imagine braved himself for the worst Scott needed endless reassurance after the week weed had I knew nothing about this role had no manual for it