Okay, let’s see if we can get
through one of these skits. Sketches, Davey, please. And... Okay, ready camera one. -Action.
-Okay, ready camera one. Do you want me to break your fucking jaw? Fucking amateur hour! Lorne Michaels:
Uhhh... Okay! Do we go again? Get actors on their marks. Lorne Michaels:
My name is Lorne Michaels. Lorne Michaels:
I’m the producer and creator of Saturday Night. We’re excited, because there’s never
been a television show like this. Dick Ebersol:
Okay, but what kind of show is it, Lorne? Dick Ebersol:
Do you even know what the show is? Did anyone ask Edison what a lightbulb
was before he harnessed electricity? Who are you in the metaphor? Don Pardo:
Chevy Chase. Don Pardo:
Gilda Radner. Don Pardo:
Dan Ayik-uh... How the fuck do you pronounce this? Aykroyd. These can’t be the right size. Yeah, you’re right, they should
be a little bit smaller. And, action on rehearsal! Don Pardo:
And now, Weekend Update! Good e- Chevy Chase:
Good evening. Lorne Michaels:
Uh, gentlemen! How long have you been standing there? Long enough. They want you to fail. Dick Ebersol:
They’re betting on it. Lorne Michaels:
That’s logical, Dick! That’s why they’re paying us all to be here! Dick Ebersol:
NBC makes more money playing reruns of The Tonight Show. Dick Ebersol:
I mean, Lorne, 90 minutes of live television by a group of 20 year olds
who have never made anything! Okay, so this is, this is, this is a bit? Look, I don’t get half the shit that they do. David Tebet:
You haven’t locked a script. David Tebet:
Your actors are missing. Have you seen John Belushi? David Tebet:
Your crew is in open rebellion. Jesus Christ! You kids aren’t ready for primetime. Everyone down to the 8th floor now! Whoo! What is this? Gilda Radner:
This is kind of exciting! We need to let the audience in. No you don’t! 5! What the hell is happening? What- 4! Lorne, I’m not gonna be able to protect you. We just have to make it to air. Don Pardo:
Live from New York, it’s- The writers tied a belt around Big Bird’s neck and hung him from my dressing room door. Hey I heard about Big Bird. So sorry. Auto-erotic asphyxiation, who knew?