I do want to give a little context to my relationship to Project Healthy minds and this this this whole movement here I had sort of the privilege of being around when phm as we call it was born it was actually six years ago this month uh my friend logic had performed his song at the VMAs in 2017 1800 2738255 which was um it was a song about somebody with depression um who calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline he did it on the VMAs and I read an article about how dur during the show just in the hours after the VMAs the call skyrocketed to the hotline was up 50% right after that I interviewed logic and some guy named Phil shurmer whoever he was and that's where they announced during the interview the birth of Project Healthy minds and that's when I decided that I didn't just want to help promote him I wanted to to join him I wanted to help in the fight I had my own mental health story to tell and I said to Phil hey if you ever need me let me know he called me 20 minutes later said you're in um signed me up on the spot he's very good at that and in the three years that I've watched him work his tail off with his his group that are all here tonight they are helping to change the narrative around mental health eventually make Health Care available to everybody that's the mission of what we're here to do to support tonight so just quickly again our North Star the CEO of Project Healthy Minds Phil stand up take an Applause take a thank you Phil shurmer it just doesn't happen without this guy good it just has to be done good I'm glad you didn't come up CU I wasn't inviting you up just pause line uh I want to tell you just quickly this is like seven minutes I'll be out of your way a little bit about my mental health story and how I became involved in the community before Tik Tok and Instagram before Facebook before all of that there was total requests live the OG TRL if you don't know was appointment television for a generation it's where you went to interact with your favorite singers and celebrities it's how MTV News brought small town kids the world's biggest stories it's where thousands of screaming teenagers Tangled Time Square traffic every single day it was a safe space for young people and I was a safe host I was basically the babysitter for the lashy kids of America it's also where one September Day I thought I was going to die it was a broadcast like any other in the first incredible years of TRL a million viewers a day Britney might be calling in Adam samler could be there Eminem shutting down Time Square I was in my dressing room and I could sense all the normal live Buzz of a of the show before it went on I could hear the crowd outside I could hear horns Hawking honking normal total request chaos very usual then something very unusual happened to me out of nowhere in my dressing room I felt which I can describe as like a snap in my brain my heart started to race and fear went through my body like I was a kid and wouldn't let go it was like somebody cracked one of those cold compresses at a little league game and put it on my my neck and I could see my producer talking to me in the doorway totally normal expression on his face saying something about Hansen probably I couldn't hear him it looked like he was talking in slow mo I was literally leaving reality I thought my God I'm having a stroke in front of Hansen it passed in 30 seconds but it felt like 30 minutes somehow I was able to get through it I did the show that day live on autopilot you know number six here's 98 Degrees just did my thing but the whole time beneath the surface I was absolutely terrified that whatever had just happened to me could happen again at any moment so right after the show I went to my doctor and I told him I said I need help he ran an entire battery of tests I said give it to me straight like am I dying is it cancer what is it and he said Carson he was laughing he said you're 100% physically healthy I said said there's no way I felt my brain snap in the dressing room and he said your real problem is that your life is unmanageable and what you had was called a panic attack I said a panic attack I've never heard of a panic attack much less considered it what was the trigger of this panic attack was it Nick Lee I don't know as it turned out the panic attack was a symptom Stress and Anxiety were the cause I needed to slow down I needed to make my unmanageable life manageable so I fired my manager slowing down didn't do the trick I kept having panic attacks you've never had them this intense fight ORF flight response the urge to literally drop everything and run it's like an outer body experience we call it derealization sometimes I could even see myself from above like I was at snoop's house and he gave me the that killed Elvis this was not an ideal way to live I started thinking all right what are the triggers for these panic attacks how can I avoid Avid them and eliminate them I had a panic attack in Aspen Colorado fine no more altitude for me panic attack at midnight going to bed at 10:00 panic attack anywhere well I guess it's time to become a recluse and stay at home like Howard Hughes that's where I was literally headed full-blown agoraphobia and that's when I decided to take the single most important step in my mental health Journey it's not riveting so hold on to your seats you ready for it here's what I did I took the wildest leap I opened up and I talked to a friend I did that Rebel stuff right and he looked at me and he said man I know exactly what you're talking about I had those all through school growing up and just hearing him say that was relevator I was so happy to learn that I wasn't the only one feeling this way I wasn't alone he said he need to talk to a professional not a doctor a mental health professional and again this is something I did not know existed I didn't grow up with any of this we didn't talk about our mental health it was suck it up I said okay so I found a therapist named Dr Oakley who was the director of of psychology at UCLA I liked his Vibe liked his office went to see him first session Dr Oakley says to me all right I want you to hyperventilate in this paper bag and we're going to induce the symptoms of a panic attack on purpose and I looked at him like he was the one who needed help I said doc you got to be kidding me do you have any idea how hard I try to not have those I almost had one in your parking lot and went home but he was right exposure is important taking the time to be vulnerable and learning about yourself is important sometimes you have to Dance with the Devil to get out of hell it was time to stop running and it was time to start working on myself and over the years I put in the work to manage and ultimately admire my anxiety I learned that the brain can send these false alarms to your body telling you that there's an imminent threat like there's a saber-tooth tiger on the stage about to rip my head off but that that doesn't exist it's not actually true I learned to manage it with a regiment that smart people help me meditation breathing taking taking a cold plunge focusing on working hard for my family and taking my meds the prescribed kind not the kind from Snoop but ultimately I came to accept that this is who I am and not only do I accept it I'm stronger because of it that doesn't mean I'm never going to have a panic attack again the body can always trick the mind I had one hosting the voice in it's Heyday 12 million people watching I felt the wave come over me live on NBC not a good time to lose your thought I was going to pass out so I just held on right hand clutching the microphone smiling this what you see left hand in the pocket I grabbed my left thigh so hard I started to bleed 30 seconds is what it lasted but again it felt like an eternity but I made it in fact I was worried I was going to have a panic attack today with the Duke and Duchess or tonight right here in front of all of you I may never cure my anxiety sometimes it's tough but it's more important that I have The Bravery to share my story just in case it helps somebody the way that my friend helped me I'm not a mental health expert I've had a chance to think a lot about the Mental Health crisis I'm almost done I think there's three chapters to The Arc in our society of mental health the first chapter was when mental health was considered something to keep hidden in the shadows it was something to be ashamed of that chapter unfortunately stretched for the entire history as a species the second started a few decades ago when doctors and researchers did the hard work of changing what we know about science Advocates did the hard work of changing the hearts of Minds brave people sometimes risking their own careers and their reputations came forward to share their mental health struggles and each of them made it easier for 10 more of us to come forward and that brings us to the third chapter in The Arc of mental health and the reason that we're all here tonight building a world where everyone knows that mental health isn't something to hide from but a journey to take openly and a journey where you'll find support along the way we have a lot of work to do 65 million Americans are going to experience a mental health condition this year that's four times the number of Americans who be diagnosed with cancer and it takes far too long to reach them think about it this way if you roll your ankle on a basketball court in a pickup game how long does it take you to go to the Urgent Care to get a diagnosis 10 minutes how long it takes you to get there the time it takes between somebody experiencing their first mental health symptom and actually getting help is 11 years 11 years and that's on average it takes a lot longer in poorer communities marginalized communities communities of color the distance to access is further and the stigma is greater and all of that is why we have to reach people earlier we have to show them that they're not alone there's everybody going through something that we cannot see we have to convince people people that grappling with your mental health does not make you weak learning about it managing it making it work for you turning your vulnerability into your greatest strength that's what makes you strong mental health is no longer the Scarlet a on our chest it is the bright red s on our chest we're superheroes we're the Avengers of a galaxy jocks and Misfits All with our own issues coming together to help people and who knows maybe even save the world that's why we're here tonight to celebrate our own Journey but more importantly to help others take their own to Build a Better World I'm profoundly grateful to everybody here tonight for joining all of us at Project Healthy Minds in that mission thank you very much hey thanks for watching don't miss the Today show every weekday at 11:00 a.m. eastern 8 Pacific on our streaming Channel today all day to watch 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