[Music] good evening America tonight we bring you breaking news about a virus that's taking the nation by stor no it's not zombie apocalypse we all have been waiting for no no no it's something much slower and cuter oh my God yes we are talking about about the sloth fever virus let's get across to our field reporter hey Gary how you doing thanks Jame I'm doing great here at the Central Park where people are moving slower than a Monday morning without coffee it's pure SLO Mania out here experts are still trying to figure out if this virus actually makes you love naps more or if it's just an excuse to avoid work you know what I mean let me ask this guy sir sir sir can you hear me sir can you tell me how are you feeling do you have any symptoms yeah I just really want to take it easy bro you know what I mean I used to run marathons and now I'm thinking maybe just a little soll forever fascinating and have you noticed any other changes as well well I think I have developed a craving for not going to the office and taking more leaves and just chilling at home thanks for the report Gary we hearing similar stories across the country in fact scientists are now recommending a new workout routine no running just hang out on a tree branch and let gravity do all the work now let's get across to Brooklyn where Dr POI is waiting for us what can you tell us about about this virus well let me tell you something I'm going to spend the next couple of minutes talking to you about this virus this virus is unlike anything we have seen before it is not about speed it is about style we are advising people to take things slow brace their inner sloth and maybe even skip the gym it's about time America got a little more chill you heard it right folks the sloth fever was us isn't just a health issue it's a lifestyle so if you see someone moving at a speed of molasses Don't Panic give them a high five slowly and remember sloth life is the best life that is all for tonight stay slow stay safe and if you need me I'll be napping good night America [ __ ] the slot