5x Gold Medalist Ellie Simmonds Opens Up on Her Adoption, Disability & The TRUTH Behind Retirement

Intro you broke your own world records gold is lovely but when you've been the fastest in the world it was the best feeling ever Ellie Simmons five time par Olympic gold medalist I'm a par Olympic swimmer went to four par Olympic Games first one Beijing in 2008 when I was 13 but I think definitely my career highlight was London 2012 there were games like no other and especially for the par Olympic movement when I got that gold medals more relief and now they're just in a bag in in my wardrobe you've won five gold medals your first gold medal at 13 but you've got a heartbreaking story why did you decide to retire yeah swimming is a very lonely spoor but also knowing that I was adopted I wanted to find out who actually what am I and I think throughout my life I've not really wanted to talk about it [Music] because hi I'm Abby Clancy and welcome to exhibit a I've got an amazing guest Who is Ellie today Ellie Simmons of course I know who you are but for everyone else who is Ellie Simmons yeah so thank you so much Abby I'm really look for to it with you today but I think for me I'm um a par Olympic swimmer well retired now par Olympic swimmer went to four par Olympic games uh first one Beijing in 2008 when I was 13 came away with two gold medals and then four years later was my probably my proudest achievement and games that I would love to go back and do all again which was London 2012 I think everyone remembers those games um there were games like no other and especially for the paralympic movement but for me I had a great games um swam personal best the best I've ever swam both Heats and finals and came away with the full set really two goals a silver and a Ron so it's nice to have the whole collection you know I know we we talk about winning and we like getting we've both very very competitive but you know what it's nice to get gos but it's nice to get other colors as well and then four years after that I went to Rio 2016 and came away with a gold and a bronze and then four years later well five years actually no four five well there was Co in the way five years and I went to my last par Olympics in Tokyo in 2021 and I didn't get any medals but I was a bit old for swimming that's the thing with athletes obviously I know being Retirement married to one myself it's such a short life yeah it's weird like cuz I've retired at the age of 20 26 I retired and people like you're retired that young but for me I I yeah I was so lucky that I found my talent and my sport at a young age and like going to my first games at 13 and the career that I've had it's like now I'm having that second career but I was lucky that yeah I found it young and that's the sport that I did whereas now it's like yeah is that that next chapter in away I think anyone finds their talent don't they what things that they enjoy things that they like doing it could be at any age but mine was just younger and like you said with with Pete or with any other athletes it's such a short span of their career um but they dedicate their life to it I I live and breathe swimming and my Sport and I got to travel the world and meet so many amazing people and represent my country and just so many amazing incredible things that where I'm I'm sitting here now I wouldn't have got a chance to do if I wasn't an athlete and this next career as well is I'm I'm loving exciting yeah let's go back to baby and where it all began you know Early Childhood you've got a a heartbreaking story you know doing the research on so many things I didn't even know about you and I was you know really upset me like the start you had in life and how far you've come you know yeah Champion record breaking Olympian you know talk me through your Early Childhood yes so um I've had actually only just recently uh spoken about it but I was adopted um at such a young age um and I think throughout my life I've not really wanted to talk about it because I wanted the swimming to do the talking yeah um and I think for me I wasn't until I retired that I wanted to find out who I really was but young age um at the start of my life I had a great I still have sorry a great great family my parents F and Steve and uh love swimming um from like you ABS I've got a big big family got three sisters and one brother and they're all adopted to and my parents used to Foster so we're very much a family of that welcom so many different yeah inclusivity and lots of different people and with a family that just is full of love full of opportunities my parents and especially my mom drove me to all these amazing activities after school like I don't know about you when you were younger but I hated being bored I could never sit on the sofa I had to be doing something all the time whether it was ballet whether it's stage School whether it was swim in I always had to be in on my bike on my trampoline with my friends hanging out in the C sack you know going to the park just and I've always been aware of that I've been adopted so how how did it work with your family were they were they very open and honest with you from a a young age that you adopted yeah always been um I think as well because my parents fostered because my other siblings are adopted it's been very much an open conversation and it's been a a conversation those Adoption conversations just like just talking about yeah you're adopted um like some of my um older siblings they see their their birth parents as well um on a regular occasion so we've just been always just yeah like oh um my sibling she's they're going to see the the birth dad on the weekend you know it's did that upset you Mom and Dad no no because they've been like they're so open to it and so open to talking and other people and just things Happ happen for a reason and we were very much yeah open to change and open to differences and like even my family my cousin she's got um asperis um we've we're a family of all different disabilities so we're very much just used to being around different types like my older sister next to me Katie she's got DSM and then Pauline she's got um like learning disability so we're just a family of all different differences so we used to just having those conversations are different and I think for me what's helped me is that knowing I've always been adopted and you know even the likes of the um I watched the story of Tracy Beaker um and she talks about being in a care home and being adopted well being just in a care home and like having an imagination of what her birth mom's going to be and I always like had visions of like what's my birth mom like and even when growing up uh I had a booklet like a an photo album of like what my um birth parents look like had photos of them with me you know and I think just having that someone to see and just having that open conversation I've mean then growing up later on in life I'm not like just not H not happy I think there's a word for it but I just just I'm not I'm just I know who they are you don't fear it in a way yeah yeah yeah I don't fear I don't yeah I'm just I'm not angry or yeah there's there's not been secrets that they've hi from me for years because we've always been open to asking questions and stuff and I'm not really asked questions to my parents but my other siblings have been open to ask questions but I've always just been so like focused and just go go go so I've not really had the time to sit down incredible people oh yeah my parents are like I was speaking to my my mom the other day actually like if I wasn't with them I wouldn't be where I am today like I wouldn't probably had the time to my parents sacrificed a lot to take me swimming to take me training how did they do that with six kids six kidss or seven us five of us in total Moving to Swansea yeah cuz I was saying to you earlier like you know just me trying to juggle the four kids the after school clubs and all their different commitments you know you feel like they're not getting enough in a way because you your time has spread so thin so like for your mom and dad to be driving you all up and down the country and even moveing house you moved to Swansea to yeah we did yeah I don't I don't know how they did it when I was younger again like Katie had was doing other things or my other siblings so I don't I look back and I think I should probably ask them how did you do it you do that don't you for the ones you love you sacrifice things and you sacrifice your life for for giving your children or giving your loved ones the opportunities and my parents have done that for me throughout my career and that's what I found weird in Tokyo and I I didn't like Tokyo because they weren't being they weren't there I love having having my loved ones around me and they're my comfort zone and like throughout my whole swimming career like I know every competition that I've been to my parents were there in the crowd even though I don't like talking to them I like just knowing that they're there they always sit in sat in the same spot at every different pool that we I rased at I knew where they were it was like my comfort zone and having them not there in Tokyo was just odd they just weren't they were why didn't they go because of No Crowds in Tokyo Co so like we couldn't have anyone in the crowd and how was that like it was odd swiming with no crowds it was so odd I didn't like it I realized actually I love competing in front of a crowd I love that Adrenaline Rush yeah it makes me [ __ ] myself even more you know makes me so nervous having a massive crowd behind in the audience and especially like lond in 2012 like 17 and a half thousand people cheering it would made me so nervous but I loved it it was so exhilerating I think that's something that an Elite Sports person thrives on because you know my my husband I'm like I don't how you do that go out well obviously he's retired now but how would you go out and perform in in front of 30 40 50,000 people and it's the buzz of it like for me like we've both done Strictly Come Dancing and I found that a real challenge with my confidence I loved rehearsing in the in the rehearsal room but when it came to the performance side and doing it in front of the crowd I couldn't do it how did you cope with the nerves because I don't know about you but like I remember standing on the ballroom and like when announc your name like oh W ah it was a horrible feeling the starting life you had and you know your your disability obviously you're not defined by your disability at all but putting yourself out there on a a global platform swimming representing the country but being open to all kinds of scrutiny must have been hard yeah it was but I think for me now I'm more nervous about this next chapter this work on TV this work like I'm my worst me in that sense I scrutinize myself every single day like why did I say this wrong why did I do that like I'm like I love it like I'm loving all the opportunities of doing the TV stuff and interviewing but I go back at night and I'm like why did I say this why did I can't I do that better I'm like yeah there's like there's a there's a saying for it isn't there like you're um your where critic is yeah and that's me at the moment with this TV stuff and I'm loving it and the documentaries and all that that is an elite Sportsman's or Sports person's Selfbelief mindset yeah where it's like swimming in a way I knew I was good at so I had that even though I was nervous even though I yeah sometimes would be like how do I cope with this pressure in the back of my mind it was something that I did every single day I had nine swim sessions I did it since I was 5 years old it was my comfort blanket I was talented at it I knew I was good i' represented my country so I had that natural confidence when I walk into a swi pool and I knew that I could go out there and smash it whereas so I think when you practice and when you're good at something and when you work hard at something your nerves are there but you've also got confidence so I think self-belief yes belief is definitely a big big thing but also I think it's okay to be nervous because you it shows you care it shows you want to do well it shows you're passionate it shows it's okay to have that sick feeling adrenaline do you think you were born with it or do you think I think like I've always been tenacity the determination Drive I think I was born with it I think I was born with being driven being um very competitive and that's not just in swimming that's in everything and we saw and I saw yours come out on cooking with the Stars too but I think it needs to be yeah the whole skills you know but also that that support team around you to nurture that talent and to drive you and to to um Glide you into that right direction and swimming wasn't just a sport that I absolutely loved it was friendship I had everything but also I was lucky I found my talent and I was good at it as well I didn't realize I was good at it until probably making the world championship team in 2006 so you were swimming with Swimming with nondisabled kids non-disabled kids which I've read at times you said knock knocked your confidence because you were losing yeah so what what spared you on and what made you push on to to to better yourself eventually be spotted to represent Great Britain so I think for me when I was younger and when when I was training with non-disabled children and competing against them like I said AB I wasn't doing well and I think in a way that made me work harder CU I wanted would put people off wouldn't it yeah but I think again my my drive my personality is I want to be like them I want to keep up with them so I was just like so determined that I wanted to I worked harder and harder to try and go up to the next level with them and be with them and compete with them and stuff and yeah I wasn't winning but I think my changing point my what changed my life was watching Athens 2004 par Olympics as a 9 10 year-old sitting on the sofa and seeing people like myself with a disability on TV and I was like oh my gosh I can compete at par Olympics I can compete against different disabilities I can compete with people like myself and I was like I'll said to myom like how old do you have to be to go to the par Olympic she was just like you have to be 12 and old older well she said at the time any age but you know you have to be 12 and older but I think for me again my personality so driven so determined I was like I want to do that I want to compete against at a par Olympics and that's where my dream started but I think looking back I think what helped me become good at a young age was the difference between me and a non-disabled person because so when did when did you realize you were you were When did you realize you were different different I do you know what when a young kid you know every everyone's kind of the same height and you then yeah you know then differences start to appear like yeah I was in Primary School actually and I was playing in like you know when you play hide and seek in a playground and I remember I was the seeker and I remember like being in the C in like the corner seat like you know counting down like 1 2 3 4 five and like I just remember being like I'm Different aren't I do you know when you were like a kid you like just talk to yourself I was like I'm different like all these people can run really fast and like are tall what what's different about me like and I just remember then going home and saying to my mom and dad like why why am I small like what's different about me um and they just answered you've got dwarfism well I've got a conl it's a type of dwarfism what does that mean so it just means that um I've got like a genetic Gene that just means that um I just don't grow so my um torso is average height but my limbs like my arms and legs just don't grow to the same as a a non-disabled average height person but it means that like I've been really really lucky that apart from I've had operations on my knees for the Bowing of my legs a lot of people with dwarfism have like shunts in their back they have like ear issues back problems I've been lucky that throughout my life that I've not had that so far um but again it means that like I can still do exactly the same as everyone else yeah I've got stools around my house everywhere I've got pedal extensions in my car but I can still do absolutely everything I might have to do it in a different way but I can still do it like you saw in cooking with the SS had like stalls everywhere and they were lethal because I kept tripping off I know but like and I think it's so I think if like of myself or so many other people talk about different being different it helps children be be known that they're going to be okay because I think even tall people even disable people you know he he he he kind of his whole He nearly quit football because you know the opposite end of the spectrum he was getting such abuse for his height like he should be in the circus he he's a freak and I didn't know like I've been with him 20 years I didn't even know some of this stuff that had been said about him and he's kept this in and I I saw all these headlines and it wasn't one it was years weekly like to the point where he wouldn't even leave the house you know and I don't know how he carried on and again came to represent his country and you know people do see him as a role model and you know being different is a positive thing I think it's it's similar because and I think it's getting better and better but there's still times when even I've had it where I've had people like couple of years ago actually like maybe yeah a couple of years ago where I had it on the street so I was walking at the traffic Center yeah got him been there for years I love the traff center and but I had like two guys like um walking behind us and they had their phones out and they were FaceTiming someone and they were like let like let's flick the camera like look at what's in front of us look what's in front of us and there was like laughing and laughing but it still happens to ABS it still happens now to to people on the streets that people are getting filmed and laughed at what you say do you say anything do you know what I feel like sometimes I no I don't say anything because sometimes I feel like I probably should say something but then sometimes I'm like you know what if I react if I say something it's like a laughing stock for them still like that's what they want you know so I think to myself like like I try and stin confidence wise Stand Tall like I've achieved what I've achieved you know like that's just me um thinking that but it still needs to like education it still needs to change and even like in the media you see it even on socials on Instagram on people comment horrible horrible stuff and even though there must there's that one comment you still attach yourself to that one comment whereas there and it and it if you've got 20 positive comments you will still dwell on that negative one but I I actually don't know why it's allowed yeah you know like when even people having that the ability to say it you know do it like you know like how what goes through their mind want to say and hurt someone because I know that you say to yourself oh you've got loved ones around you but you're still that one comment can take you can can hurt people really really bad and it can like when you go to sleep you think about it even though you've got you loved ones around you you can still focus on that one comment and it can really knock your confidence and get you down and like I know there's so many people with dwarf is them all different disabilities still are sometimes quite scared even to go out and about because they get laughed at and still even in 2024 and even my ITV documentary where I find about myself and my adoption and um I look into uh adoption and disability I found that my birth mom even what TW nearly 30 years ago now got the information saying about a person with dwarfism was seen in as the circus that's they were not mentally going to be right they were going to be laughed at they were going to be all that type of stuff and that was 30 years ago and that's like to know that that was not that long ago really it's it's not long ago at all and it's absolutely disgusting and it's kind of so outdated and but I I just put myself in that position like most women who are pregnant and about to give birth you've got so many like fears and you're hormonal like to get given information like that before you're about to give birth or after you've given birth I I don't know what they're thinking I I think you know what I think more support should be given to you guys given to to parents or to to birth mothers and especially when you want the best for your baby don't you and when you hear the news that your child has is a is different has a disability you need the people that you trust such as doctors such as um midwives and I know they're incredible they go above and beyond to support and help but I think the wording could change even the likes of like when I did um my world without dwarfism document country the wording that they they got told when their child has orphism is oh you could There's an opportunity you could have bought it which straight away that is negativity and negative yeah and that's the support as well because there's so many amazing Charities out there and even like um little people UK or dwarf Sports Association or restricted growth like they should be directed to those Charities to know that actually the child even though it has a dwarfism or has a disability it can still live a fulfilled life and I think that's why TV and is so powerful go on to be in a a gold Olympic yeah or even like just just knowing that life's going to be okay because like you said abs like you're a vulnerable You're emotional you just given birth and your child is different and not every not every woman given birth has a great support network around them so if they're already going in Support System feeling vulnerable and then they get information like this I I I can't even imagine what state of mind you would be in you know yeah and you can't can you and I think that's why the support system is so important and the support system from medical professions and the language that they use and the education and all that and TV to like with strictly yeah they having so many different types of people on that show makes change because they when your child is born you see people like oh I remember like um Johnny peacock who has missing a Lim is was on quickly he he's he he's amazing you know all that type ofing isn't it for kids yeah yeah and I think if they can relate to someone who's similar to them yeah you know it just gives them an extra boost to confidence like what would you say to like kids who uh you know in a Low SelfEsteem similar position to you or have any form of disability or just low self-esteem in general I think like for me like I don't know like now since when I have like my low days I think we all have high and low days and I think when I was an athlete like what kept me going was my support team around me my friends um you know I used to get so motivated to go to training because I would have like laughs with my friends and banter and even when training wasn't going well I had those people around me to keep me going and like now I I still use my friends but also like writing things down of like the positives you know like the simple things like oh sunshine sun is shining today like it makes you feel happy just calling people calling someone that helps you makes you lift you up again and I think just doing those little things to to make you happy whether it's yeah writing things down um whether it what's on your mind whether it's yeah the three things that make you the simple things that make you happy and thankful for things whether it's being okay to feel low as well don't worry about like there's so many amazing Charities and support teams around you that um to reach out to people and to tell people that you feel low but we definitely all have our lows and Highs but I think when your lows is prolonged for a lot longer that's the time to reach out and to to use the support system and to use the the support Charities out there so going back to the Olympic Journey swim you're 13 years old you've been asked to represent the country and compete at the Olympics what did that feel like you know what I think for me I was buzzing I was so like literally I was going on my summer holidays to China like and going to a par Olympics like I think four years before that I was watching it on TV and then finally getting getting the CH opportunity to go and cuz we never expected to go to Beijing the plan was London 2012 um that was like the plan because I would be 17 by then we never in the Wildest Dream as a as my coach Billy pie who was my coach from 12 till when I retired when I was that Billy who came to C yeah yeah he's he's like my second dad really I love him so so much like he's been he knows me how did you meet him so long story so I got picked to go to my first world championships in 2006 when I was 12 and um he was like a coach there and you know when you just click with someone and I clicked with him straight away and then I on my summer holidays um because at the time I was based in Birmingham at wsel with my family and all that that's where I grew up on my summer holidays we would I would go and train with him in Swansea and where he trains um was a high performance center for Paris women so there was a big group there there was probably be about 12 people there and I just love being with them with people like me um same like mindset mentality all athletes and me and him just clicked straight away and I just was like I just wanted to be trained with h by him and then after World Championships in 2006 as a family we all sat down and decided did that training at my swimming club balir which was incredible they got me so far I needed that next extra step if I wanted to go to a Paro Olympics and we thought about like lots of different stuff we thought about private schools we thought about um get like TR going to lra Bath all this type of Place Manchester and it just clicked like let's why don't I move to Swansea so me and my mom um moved to Swansea so Sunday night till Saturday morning we lived in Swansea and then on the weekends we would go back home to be with my family but it was perfect timing my sister next to me casy she had just go was going to University so it would just be the three of us anyway at home so they made a big sacrifice my parents living away from each other and I can't probably probably welcome that after years together yeah they probably sounds great to me they probably did to be fair um they're still together now and very happy but you know I think without that the Sacrifice from them and without that move I don't think I would have gone to Beijing um and I think that's the thing like when you want something so bad you've sometimes got to make those uncomfortable decisions and sacrific and I love my time in swans they I had the best time I went was in school from Year s till six form and oh W um I had to go to Welsh school start all new which you speak Welsh I learned it at school but AB um I was a white a lot so I failed it at GC you know what it was the most amazing time and I think without that sacrifice I wouldn't have got to Beijing um or even London 2012 as as a 13-year-old going to Beijing to represent your Dealing with Pressure country you must were you not petrified or were you just like I'm ready do you know what I think when you I was probably 13 do you know when you're 13 Going on 30 you think you do anything yeah you think you can do anything but also I think I had an advantage in a way being so young because I think for me it was just going on a summer holidays it was just just being with my friends for a summer do you know I never really actually thought to the extent of how big it actually was I didn't think of pressure I didn't think of anything I was just going out there to swim as fast as I could how did you deal with pressure um you know what later on in life now I find it a lot harder when I was an athlete I think I I love the pressure it definitely got to me as I got older um but when I was young and especially like ba London Beijing Rio I did I quite enjoyed the pressure I looked like it drove me but now looking back I think to myself how did I cope with London 2012 CU of all the amount of pressure on our shoulders from like the crowd from the home expected yeah home expectations the national governing body everyone was expecting me to win the gold and even before i' actually done it but I don't know Howes that feel when you know people are expecting you to win Mental Health do you feel like you know a lot of weight on your shoulders like you can't let people down you can't let your fans down you can't let your country down I thought a crazy amount of pressure crazy amount of pressure on my shoulders like I don't know how I did it and I wish I did I wish I knew how I did it because then I could use use it now because I look I think I again the support team around me was huge like with my parents my coach Billy um my friends my I had a great training group all par Olympians all gold medalists so being around those really helped with motivation and having a good life balance as well like I was going to school so it was quite nice nice to get away from it mentally have a bit of a break but I don't know how I did it and I wish I really did like I remember yeah I don't even remember how I did it and it annoys me because I'm like I would love to still know I would have loved to have known but I think I was 17 Again still quite young still quite it was quite yeah you still a kid at something yeah and I think looking back I think that's why after to after Rio sorry Rio 2016 which is my third Paro Olympics I had to have a break from the sport mentally because yeah swimming is a very lonely spoor it's not one that you can chat to well you can chat on the sides at the end but actually when you're doing 200 400 meters you can't talk to anyone so in a way it's it's nice because you are in your own mind but also it's sometimes your mind can take over and really question things and stuff whereas for me I think what I learned from swimming the discipline was being organized being because especially when I was at school and with the early it's timec consuming sport I had to pack my bags the night before for both training in the morning A day at school and then training in the afternoon so I had everything laid out all organized so I knew like my I would give my mom like this is my swimming bag in the morning this is my bag that I need to and you did that as a kid yeah and I think because one that's me anyway like I'm super organized I live even now I live out my diary my house is very clean organized I'm quite OCD in that sense so one that was me anyway but also swimming help develop that also like I think the time management as well I learned I learned like we were never able to be late I always had to be on time for everything and that was disciplined with to me when I was a swimmer and I think now it helps cuz I love getting things places early me too I like to get even if I'm half an hour earlyer I like to sit relax have a coffee I know I'm there cuz if I'm late I panic it's the worst thing ever but also I think yeah also the skills it gave me to like be around so many different people travel the world be around so many different cultures um and the skill of being on my own as well because you flying on your own sometimes you're like yeah being on camps I can't do anything on my own can you not I think it's good to worry because you're thinking about absolutely anything and like yes it's tough and yes it's probably more stressful on your shoulders but actually also it's you think you you're making sure everyone else is okay and making sure you're okay but also worrying is is is not a bad thing you know it's it's it's okay to worry like I worry all the time I think I'm I sound pretty similar to you I like worry about like even at night I'm like my God why did I say that why did I wear this why did I I'm I'm like you you make beat yourself up yeah and then the next day it's not as bad as you think it's going to be but I think also that's just our personalities and sometimes that's it's okay that that is like we're we're our unique self aren't we we're we're our own people and it's embracing that I guess oh yeah exactly exactly and like yeah just Embrace that difference yeah so we need to talk about these medals there's so many to talk about got there I forget about them now I like even at the start we I was like how many medals have I actually won cuz you're just now like they're just in a bag in in my wardrobe talk me about talk me through winning your first gold medal yeah so do you know what ABS I can't really remember it really cuz I was 13 I was quite Young I wish I did you think can you hear yourself say that I know I don't know like how I did it like I look at 13 like I look back at photos I'm like you're a kid you know but I think again like that had um positivities CU you I was only a kid so I didn't really feel the the pressure or anything like that but you know what I remember touching the wall after the 100 meters so two lengths an olympic size from in Paul how many meters is that so 100 MERS 100 m so it's a bit like a Sprint well 50 MERS is a Sprint 100 I wasn't the favorite to win I was like probably going to come in the 100 me but I think because all my other competitors probably didn't um they weren't watching me because they didn't think I could getat so I wasn't a threat so they were all watching each other and I look what looked back and I was like I came in they were all watching each other and I just somehow just put my little gear up and just went and touched and they were all focusing on each other and I touched first and I remember touching and just like I look at the interviews I think it was like with CLA bordon actually just crying my eyes out because I'd finally like I had achieved my dream you know we all have dreams but you never think you're going to achieve it and I never thought like four years later after watching Athens 2004 that I would achieve my dream of getting where did you go from that you're 13 you've got the ultimate goal the gold medal London 2012 where'd you go from there five more the will yeah the will the the the competive iess to want to do it again and again and again four years later was London 2012 so as soon as we touched down on the plane from Beijing the countdown was on London 2012 so with the sponsors the media the hype for that it was just the bus like four years so you're training four years for the next Olympics are you doing any other competing in the mean yeah like it's not just every four years we have Europeans we have World Championships we have World Series um racing like all the time pretty much and we weigh a lot as well training camps and stuff which is so like that's what I miss getting a tan all the time but like even when I was swimming like I had a CO a hat line all the time and goggle marks and like but I loved having a tan and swimming outdoors and swimming in the sun is just the best feeling ever yeah and then you know coming to the UK and having the whole country cheering you on Par Olympians was that your proudest moment oh exactly London 2012 and I think London 2012 wasn't just a home game but I think par Olympians were finally the perception on the par Olympics and the par Olympics par Olympian sorry it changed yeah you know it it took that next level we were seeing as finally professional athletes and what London 2012 did like even now like I speak to um French athletes who are gearing up for their home Olympics and Par Olympics they're still asking like what did London 2012 do for the par Olympics and they like asking for advice and stuff do then do you know what it just we were finally like had crowds and tickets were sold we had the sponsors that we've never had before we had the support we had just the perception the per just getting recognized as a profession athlete and not being defined by whatever disability yeah no exactly and like the likes of Channel 4 and like even the last leg is a is a show that's on Channel 4 that came from about from London 2012 is still seeing us on TV now do you know just I think the awareness of disability and the the change of the Paralympics and the paralympic movement was just blown to an extra level of proportion that's amazing it was incredible and that that that should it that's how it should be yeah it should be and it's it's finally getting better and like it would be great if it was on TV more it's not just every four years we have World Championships we have Europeans we have all different um competitions and events so it would be good if it was on TV more but you know what it's getting better and better and we there's always room for improvement with anything so you not only just won gold medals you broke World Records gold is lovely but when you've been the fastest in the world in in that event is is is great to have um because it's it's not just your fastest time ever that you've done but it's the fastest in the world so it's that's what you go for as well the world records not just a gold which is I would take a gold any day to have that also added on as a world record it's not even a PB it's a world record that was yeah what would you what would you say to anyone who is wanting to you Motivation know start a career and people have told them that you can't do that because of whatever reason you know you don't live in the right area you've got a disability you can't do it what would you say to the people who say you can't do it do you know what use it as a motivation uh I would use it and train even harder or just show them actually like you said I can't do it actually I can do it change the perception change the wording they believe that you can't but actually you can you can do anything and yes might have to do it in a different way you might have to sacrifice things but you can get there no matter what we've seen it in the world haven't we people have gone above and beyond even with like refugees who've compet and Olympics and Par Olympics they've done it in so many different environments you know that you can do it so use that as a motivation and use it like they can't they don't believe you can do it but actually you can you've won five gold medals your Career Highlight first gold medal at 13 but what was your career highlight would you say oh I think definitely my career highlight was London 2012 the first gold medal at that event the 400 meters freestyle um was my first race and I had a big rivalry between myself and an American going into those games I was um in a way the favorite um because it was I was British what I'd achieved four years previously in Beijing but actually I wasn't the number one favorite going into it so the American Victoria Arland and that's quite quite a good thing about Paris sport is anyone can become disabled overnight and so you never know sometimes who you're racing because of disability and people get injured have accidents which is very it's incredible for for parasport and for people just to get involved in sport in in general but Victoria C went at her us Oly us Paro Olympic trials broke the world record in the 400 meters freestyle and I was the world record holder so she broke my world record and I was devastated because you know when you're like the favorite and you're like I've know I've got all this pressure on my shoulders people expecting me to get this gold and now she's gone and broken the world record I've never raised her before but you know so you never cross paths before no no cuz she' just come on the scene okay cuz she had an illness that made her um paralyzed she just yeah she was an able a non-disabled swimmer before so she raced at competitively swimming before she came disabled so she had all that ability and I knew that she was going to be on form having just broken the world records but I used it as a motivation I was like I need to train harder I need to work harder and it be be going into those par Olympics and those 2012 games with Paris women it's all about classification so it could be seen as confusing for people on the the outside but you have one to S10 classification in swimming so S1 is the uh is impairment so the higher the number the lower the impairments she was ns6 same as what I am ns6 and going into London 2012 she was classified in one day classified out the other so I found it quite hard because I didn't know whether I was racing her or not but actually the day of the compet competition the 400 meters fre it was like day three she actually was competing so I knew that I had to step up my game and it was a big race between me and an American and Victoria and it was head-to-head all the way and actually through the whole uh 400 m so eight length of the swimming pool she was tra I was trailing behind so I was losing and that last 50 m I stepped up my gear I don't know how I did it but you know that Willl to Wi just comes out that extra Red Zone that just something I wanted it so badly it just came out and that last 50 MERS I gave everything I got and I touched first and it was the best feeling ever because i' got that gold medal and I think compared to Beijing it was emotion it was excitement and it was all that London 2012 when I got that gold medal was more relief because of all that pressure on my shoulders and I finally was able to have that gold medal around my neck and with all the sponsors and all the pressure it was it was done but definitely that rivalry between me and an American and Victoria was I loved it but it was tough as well but yeah it was it was a great race that I'll never ever forget and the crowd like 70 and a half thousand people cheering and singing the National Anthem and I had friends and family that never ever seen me swim before we were there because it was 2012 and because it was London they were able to come and watch me was just a games that I would do go out go and do again and again so after Beijing yeah you got the NBA I did and you were the youngest ever person to receive one of these like what an incredible achievement yeah it was like to be honest though ABS I didn't even know what an NBA was what is an NBA fell so like I remember it was a so it's an honor from the queen um it's called the member of the British Empire so individuals if they've done something for whether it's sport or um education or what whatever field it is they get an honor from the queen but when I was at when I was young um especially after Beijing I got the letter through the post I remember I was like Mom what the letter what's this like it's a letter from the queen do you know when you just don't know what it is so I tossed it to from side and she was like oh my gosh Ellie like it's an MBA it's like I was like oh brilliant like do I get to go to bookland Palace that's what I was more excited about getting dressed up but you know what it was an amazing honor and it was an amazing day going to bookham Palace and to to meet the queen who at the time um was the same age as my grandma so for me it was like it's like just talking to my grandma and she's so wonderful and she was just put me an ease cuz I was really nervous because you get told to to um all these like um things of like not showing your back and being like saying her majesty and all these things that you have to say I was really nervous I didn't want to mess those up um so I was just yeah just wonderful to be there and to be honored and then four years later after London 2012 I got an OB but I'm sure it's the same with Pete like you don't do it for these honors you just do it for the love at your sport and for the for me it was just swimming up and down every day and to be able to opportunity to represent my country and to get all these honors is just a bonus but you just don't do it for that no yeah cuz it's like now I Finding her passion think some kids look at footballers and go you know want the cars or want the life but even talking to be he said when he was a little boy it was just cuz he wanted the ball at his feet oh you know that's all he wanted to do he wanted to play football and it was nothing else that came with it yeah you know it's and I think that's like you he don't you like watching documentaries of like T like the sports and stuff it's just For the Love of the Game or for the love of things and I think when you love something and when you enjoy something whether it's sport whether it's work you get the best out of it because you want to be there you want to do something you want to do it to the best of your ability and I think I've been lucky that I found my love of my Sport and love of what I've done from such young age but you find it at any age and it could be anything it could be sport it could be going out for a walk you know you see train spotters they love doing that like we all have things that we love to do and I think it's so that everything's different and everything's unique I agree so after you got your MBA then Taking a year out it's Beijing you've got more medals and then you decide to take a year out why was that so Rio I took a year out because um going into the sport we we had an individual on the team that was yeah just didn't treat us right really just didn't yeah wasn't a great individual and it really knocked my confidence and like I was skinniest I've ever been I was weighing myself every single day I was like just so just drained from it you know when you walk into a pool which normally like I've said I've love I love doing and that's your comfort zone yeah and you're told that you're not like you get told that you're not good at it and you knock your confidence and it's definitely affected me now like speaking to my friend best friend the other day like it still sometimes affects me when you've when you have an individual that just puts you down all the time you just yeah like just doesn't isn't you're not treated right like I've learned a lot from it I've learned that you should never get treated like that again and next time like I wish looking back I did stand up for myself and my teammates but when you're in that that in the the bubble of it yeah you can't because you just there's something that just you can't you're just so it's it's yeah it's it's I don't know what makes you can't but there's something that is controlling um but I've learned that yeah like if anything like that happens again to stand up for myself but um I just needed an escapism that as well as I 21 I I missed a lot of growing up and all that type of stuff I just needed to get away from my Sport and figure out who I was and how did how was that welcomed by your coach and everyone around you were they like go for it go and have a great time or they were like no you got work to do um do you know what they were a lot of them were supportive of me because I think a lot of them realized that the the situation that not just myself but my teammates were in and I was fortunate that I could do that I could take a break and I could have a year out and go traveling and figured things out and yeah I might have I looked back and I think I probably could have if I carried on I probably could have swam a lot faster in Tokyo but also mentally I just needed a break and sometimes looking after yourself m is so much more important than achievements and swimming and life in general you just need to look after yourself mentally and and I did that and taking a break from the pressure and the situation that we were in and under was just had me feeling better mentally and I think that's what I think now like to people sometimes people work work work like it's okay to take a leap of faith and try something new or take a bit of a break like when I've traveled I've met so many amazing people and it's it's helped me like gain so much knowledge about the world and different cultures I've learned so much about myself and other people through that and you you don't have to do it expensive you can do it really cheaply like I've done it so cheaply what did you do where did you go so I went like I went like Mexico I did Vietnam Thailand um Australia um where else Madagascar wow um and again what's really nice and about sport is because you compete on different in different countries and you meet lots of different people and um you compete against different countries you make lots of friends along the way so definitely during those trips I've definitely stayed at different individuals houses of swimmers and stuff so I've had free accommodation in that sense but it's nice it definitely and they've looked after me and I'm so thankful for all those different types of people but um yeah it's definitely helped me mentally and I think that's what I'd say like it's okay to take that leap of fa and try something new and try something different and I think you don't know until you try you don't and maybe sometimes it might not work you can always go back to what you used to do definitely so after after after the Travelin did you compete again yeah yeah so after traveling I decided that swimming in a way I changed my mindset and it helped having that escapism and that break that what I love swimming and I found my love back for did you miss it do you swim like on holiday and stuff but now like actually since this year since um I didn't had a bit of a break from swimming after retirement and now been retired three years I try and swim once a week just to get myself back in the water mentally more than anything be hard like yeah I get bed your whole life swimming every day to not own it yeah it was like it was weird and I think a lot of sports people talk about it don't they um when you make that decision to to retire you've you've done your sport for so so long you've you're missing a massive part of you you've lost your identity in a way like I think a lot of sports individuals and I know myself we have that four-year plan that year plan that week plan that day plan we know where we've got to be every single day and then you wake up and that plan's not there anymore you you get lost you're you're like what can I do what is there like yes you've got so much opportunities and so much choice because you can do anything anything but it's that's the hardest thing is you you wake up and you're like what shall I do and you hear stories don't you have people going getting lost and getting addicted to things and going on the wrong path and all that type of stuff but it's tough like I know that I've had definitely highs and lows and I've had very much of emotional roller coaster and especially now trying to figure out this next chapter and this next life I compare myself to what I was like as an athlete and now I want to be good again at something else so I'm like trying to find out what I want to be good at and sometimes it's hard because like for me my reward was gold medals and I had that and it was substantial I saw it I I I swam as fast as I could and the time was good and I was being able to see that I was good at something whereas now this new chapter of life it's like you don't really get told you're good yeah um you don't get told like you do get told like you could cuz you you get asked to do more and more things but there's nothing that you can like grab on to that's substantial that you know that you're good at so like again mentally it takes over you think oh my gosh you seeing other people get signed for things and doing lots of things and again it's hard because we shouldn't compare ourselves to other people but naturally and natur to it's mentally tough because you want to be know that you're good at something but there's nothing to to reward you with it what what why did you decide to retire so I decided to retire for many reasons I think I was getting more resentful with my swimming I was like going to the pool I was I want to be somewhere else I want to do other things um and then also I'd done everything I wanted to do like never in my wildest dreams when I was watching Athens 2004 as a 9 10 year-old would I thought I'd got the opportunity to go to four games and get the medals that I've done and done all of the those games and opportunities so I just was ready mentally I was just ready for that next chapter but does that bring any Finding out who she is obviously when you're this AET you're training every day you're focused on something and now all that training Focus attention has gone you've got more time to think yeah so yeah I did and with that more time to think I questions who I actually am not just as Ellie Simmons swimer or taking that year out but also knowing that I was adopted um and am adopted I wanted to find out who actually what am I up to this point you'd never met your Bear's mother no no no and you know when you go to like the doctors and they always say like what's your medical history have you got anything in your family like I've never known any of that why did you wait to you're what 26 at this point why did you wait so long to ask those questions or or you never thought to seek hair out before because I was so focused on swimming I didn't want any distractions because I've heard it from other people who've gone through the whole journey it's so emotional and it brings up so much stuff and I was lucky that I got a positive outcome but lots of people don't get the outcome that they want and it's it's tough and when I was a swimmer I just didn't want any distractions I was so Focus I don't want any of that to be an added emotion to my swimming and to my Sport and a distraction and it just wasn't the right time and I think like meeting loads of people who've gone through the same Journey as me finding out who they actually are it's you've got to have that right time for you yeah and I was after retiring and after Tokyo it was just that right time and it was tough cuz I was decided then to do strictly at the same time and do strictly to doing finding out who are my birth mother and my adoption and all that type of stuff like there was a lot of emotions going on and I think still now I haven't really fully processed all of it what did you find out so I found out like um again my birth mother I found out my foster family I found out like so you were G given away for adoption yeah yeah yeah B about like two weeks yeah and then you were fostered yeah so fostered and then adopted so yeah I found out that like again what my mom had gone through um with um finding out I had um dwarfism and again that left letter that she received and also again the emotions of finding out I've got siblings and finding out like my birth father and I've not met him yet but finding out all the other things like that and just it just brings up a lot and the questions that I had and I was very um fortunate I got to meet my bth mom um and like I was so nervous so so nervous cuz did you not did you not feel like resentment or you know uh people have asked me a lot about that um but actually I didn't because I think I've got such a solid family and my mom and dad and my siblings are my family so I've got them which I know a lot of people who've gone through the process um it's caused a lot of upset for them you know and but I'm so thankful that I've got them as my supporters and like even now I couldn't do anything without them um and they were supportive throughout this journey so there was there was no resentfulness or anger or anything and like again she did it for the for the reasons of many reasons she wasn't it wasn't just what was the first thing you said to her um I was just nervous like when we walked met each other I said to my like support worker gln I just want to meet her for 10 minutes that's all I want to do like I just want to like just see her for 10 minutes just see what she looks like like where have I got my hair from where have I got my eyes from what is is there any looks what's like like have I got any of my traits from them did you did did you have the same eyes or hair or yeah yeah both so everything like it's like weird and that was like the strangest thing is like everyone else knows growing up like where they've got their things from whereas I've never had that I've but seeing someone who looks like you it's mindboggling like I can't stop st like I didn't stop staring at because it was like I was looking at myself it was really OD but like she was very chatty like bubbly like similar personality so so lovely and again um we just knocked like got on like a house on fire like we were ended up chatting for like 5 hours and we had to like stop it because of time because we didn't realize but like there was like 28 years of catching up to do and like all that type of stuff but like I still love my mom and dad like my mom and dad are still my mom and dad that's incredible that that was a positive experience for you as you say it's so different for everyone who's in a similar position you know you don't know what you're going to be faced with yeah you never know and I've met so many people that sadly haven't had like my my birth mom said that she didn't change a name because like she'd moved on from my birth dad but she didn't change her name cuz she knew that eventually I would find her so she wanted to keep that open but and did she ever try and did she know who you were did she know that yes she her daughter was Ellie Simmons yeah so she did but again super respectful of her is that like she's always she doesn't didn't want to bother me mentally and left me do my thing and stuff and always wanted me to be the first um individual starter of that finding and conversation because she said that like it just in case like it would upset me and all that and I think again that's super respectful cuz she could have gone to any of my competitions or any of my Med or yeah like she but throughout this and even rud being respectful like she didn't want to be on camera and all that type of stuff which I totally got and I I supported her out that cuz I it was nice that it was filmed um on the documentary ITV finding it's incredible the documentary oh thank you finding my secret family like it was definitely emotional like I watch it sometime like the other day I was at an awards event and it came up on the screen and like it got me emotional like and I don't know why like it still does and I think one of the reasons why wanted to do it was just shine a light on adoption because again adoption and also disability in the care system well is it 40% of kids in care in the UK got a disability I read it's like definitely I think it's a high high number and like children with a disability are seen as cut harder to place like I remember following social workers um and with the documentary and we looked at the database and say there was a thousand families looking for a child when they said that they were happy to have a child with a a disability went from a thousand to about eight no way yeah like not many people are um again I think it's that it's education it's the it's the it's teaching people that just because you've got a disability it it doesn't mean you know it's going to be more expensive or a harder life or tougher like I think people just need to be given more information on the on the I think again people are scared as well because I think again with Society everyone wants that perfect baby don't know that they can put on socials that they can put on like do all that type of stuff that when your baby's different it's again it's a shock and it's not what you expect and also then you've got the choice of having a baby you still want that perfect baby um but again like it's I think when someone hasn't had maybe had a disability in their family or and they not seeing it out and about again it's daunting and like you said it's it can be more expensive it can be lots of a Time lots of appointments in the hospitals but it can be also done and children with a disability still need the same love as everyone else and all they want is a family and I've been so thankful that I've had that I've had have you spoke to your your mom and dad like about the the reasons why they you know chose to adopt children with disabilities um you know what I'm not but I think because they're so open to having like children with disabilities um I think how I came about is because my sister had orphism they saw in like the database that they'd already got a child with orphism and adopted one so they were like there was me around and available so they were like oh like what about having another person with dotism and I think my parents can't say no really to babies so they just said yes to me and yeah cuz like again I was in a different Council um and a different District so and normally I think they try and keep in the same like Council and area but no I was totally but again because my parents are so open to different disabilities and again supportive of that would you adopt yeah no I think so like again it's it's traumatic and it's emotional I'd love to have children of me own yeah um but again if it's the right situation there's definitely um I know there's a lot of children not just in the UK but worldwide that need families so yeah if there's if I'm in the right situation I would in the future and if my other the half would like that too I don't have they don't have a choice plan moving into your retirement and what is next you know after after your documentary what you did Finding Your you did another documentary yeah yeah so I did um a world without dwarfism as well which is a documentary on BBC and it's so with dwarfism there's this new drug come around um by bayarin which is a drug company from itical company called vistide and um it's a drug where a child with dwarfism uh can injects themselves every single day and ites from what age oh well actually they've just started well when I did it they just started testing on babies so over here in the UK it's not been um it's still on trial on the NHS it's not been approved fully or in America it's been approved 2021 I think wasn't it yeah like in America it definitely had been approved and how does it work you the child injects themselves and um the protein from the drug hits the protein of like the bones and the growth and makes them grow taller whereas vorti are also saying that it can help and improve life of individual with a a dwarfism so again bowing of the legs stunts in the back of the neck the back issues and problems whereas actually they're not testing that they're only T testing the the the how tall the child yeah how the the child grows so again this is a factor of are they actually changing the individual to make them fit into society whereas they grow taller to be seen as everyone else actually fixing medical problems so in a way it's like why is this drug around like at the start I was very much against the drug whereas now I'm like a bit impartial because again it's choic isn't it people all have Choice whether it's to change the look of them whether it's to be taller whether it's to be thin all that type of stuff and this drug is around to to to make a child with a dwarfism taller whereas what needs to be more done is the education and being like it's okay that you're going to be small like you can still do everything else it's okay to be living with dwarfism and again it's education on society that it's okay to be different you don't have to fit in yeah just and be taller to to be like everyone else you until you're in that situation where you've got a child you you want the best for them and we're all individuals we all make different decisions for the best thing for our children so I understand totally If the parents have chosen to go on the drug but it wouldn't be my choice so what is next for you I know you've got your your kids books out you've brought your documentaries out you've been on Strictly what is next again just grasp every opportunity uh travel more um I love traveling I've just been to Poland and continue traveling is definitely like one of my hobbies and just yeah just be just grasp every opportunity which I'm sure is exactly the same with you ABS so before you go if you could just leave our listeners with one piece of advice or a mantra that you live by yeah it's one piece that's tough isn't it there lo and that I've learned I think for me is just support people with different disabilities you know and I think also treat them exactly the same and yes you might have to adapt your office building or adapt your your way but it still can happen so I think reach out and use different disabilities use people in either your workplace or reach out and use them to to to to talk to you know I think and it's great that this this world is so different and let's celebrate our differences yeah and it's okay to ask questions and being inquisitive and yeah and I think if we don't ask you don't know and I think like I'm more than happy to to be the like ask those question and to be the answer to those questions well you go into the schools and do all your yeah and I think again it's just being open and just education is definitely massive it's big and there's so many support systems out there for people with different disabilities and some amazing Charities so don't be afraid to reach out well thank you no thank you very much amazing thank you so thank you