and I also think that in the whole Paparazzi gate situation what some viewers and fans and maybe even people on your cast seem to be missing which is so confounding to me is that you did AC according to what we've been told on the show you did tell Katie not to bring it up but the issue is that she brought it up and because she brought it up on camera you are then going to bring it up to Heather so I don't understand I guess what I don't understand is why Heather is so mad because you did try to keep it from coming on the show what are your what are Reflections right now did you did Heather ever understand that I don't know and it is certain to honestly it is starting to upset me like in real time now because I'm like wow I couldn't have had her back more you know I couldn't I was the only one who was speaking up every single time I was communicating directly to Katie that I thought this was all not valid you know the stuff she was bringing up against Heather the other stuff outside of the paparazzi stuff and you see Katie already admits that at the very beginning I told her not to do this so and I'm glad that you guys see it because I I hope everybody else sees it because it's so obvious it's like if we discussed this and I told you and then you made a decision on your own to go forward and now you're in hot water with de bro and you realize that that doesn't feel good and your instinct is to then push it back on me like I'm really I'm hurt Honestly by both of them that's what so fair and I'm and I'm glad that you're glad the viewers are seeing all of that I wonder do you think Heather will see that her comparing that to what you had to deal with last reunion with Shannon and your kids was not the best comparison in my opinion do you I mean I hope so because that to me really was ridiculous and at the very least it's like um what you're comparing it to is something that like Shannon did that specifically to me to her to yeah I did not do this to Heather Katie did this to Heather in fact I tried to stop Katie from doing this so and and honestly and since last year I'm the only one who believes her who consistently believes her and yet I'm still the one who did something wrong you know and you get to a point where you're like all right I realize I don't really think this is a me problem and I don't think that no matter what I do I'm ever going to be seen as not betraying these women or abandoning these women I think we also need to be careful about the words you use because like betrayal and abandonment are very heavy in words you know and I don't feel like what happened there me being like ha that's funny Heather got caught her pants down oh wait don't don't do it it's not a good idea for either of you da d d d da is betrayal watching this all play back on the show you said that it was kind of making you upset I'm wondering how reliving it is impacting your current relationship and dynamic with Heather what's the communication like these days you know it's funny because it's like the communication is actually good great you know between Heather and I but that's part of what I think I'm realizing myself is like anytime that I sense that she's going to be upset about something whether it's something I've done or somebody else I'm like concerned about her feelings I'm like picking up the phone and calling her and all that and it's like at a certain point when you see things that are happening that are upsetting towards me and it's not reciprocated you know I it's start it's like my I I watching between last week and this week and seeing how this all played out I am upset about it and watching other people other women other ones of he's friends say the things that they've said and weigh in on the situation the way that they have and guess we're all good they're still friends everybody's still friends that's okay like I'm the only one I feel like at this point that's even still taking a hit for something that I didn't do wow because I would have expected after last week's episode Heather to reach out to you and be like it was Heat of the Moment I said some I made a comparison that wasn't right but she you she picking up she not picking up the phone for anything not say that oh okay all so you plan to move forward now that you're sort of having these internal reflection do you plan on saying something to her because I feel like that's like sometimes it's hard to communicate something to a friend that you know is just going to upset them and potentially set you back further but then if you don't it just keeps stewing and you don't feel good so what like what are you GNA do yeah it's a tricky mess man get the Clorox WIP out I guess man I don't know it is it's tough and I don't and and it's also it's interesting too because we have um reunion coming up you know so it's like we still have to have all these conversations so it's like do I have these conversations now do we have them there I really am not somebody who wants to ever just come in and chop anyone's head off but I like to have these constructive conversations so hopefully we can have that I think the difference is some people you know with regard to the Heather situation I if anybody it's not a thing with me of me being afraid of Heather I genuinely care about Heather so I care about our feelings you know so and I but Heather's very sensitive so I feel like I operate around that sensitivity a lot and at a certain point it just gets to be too much you know