Hold still. You can't move like that. It's like cutting the
hair of a cuckoo bird. I'm sorry. I'm just a little tense
today. I knew it, something
happened. Because when somebody
works in a salon, they know when someone needs
to talk. Actually, you might be
able to help me with this one. Claire and I got
into a huge fight last night. I'm not even sure
what it was about. Was that why you didn't
want to go to the mall with her? No. That was more about a
weird mall habit that Claire has. Oh, my God, that's good. Oh oh, go low go low go low
go low. Oh! Oh! Oh my God! Dad! Dad, you gotta get one
of these. Oh! Oh! It is impressive how much
Haley's earning. She's over $500 already. That's a lot of cheddar. Why is everyone acting like she's the first 17 year old to have a job? In other cultures, she'd have two kids already, and they'd have jobs. You know, I stopped by the restaurant a couple times, and she wasn't there. When? Uh, I don't remember. I
was at the mall for a movie. Think! I need details. Okay. It was a romantic
comedy. My now ex-friend Ruben
recommended. Not about the movie.
What day? Focus. Okay. Uh. It was Tuesday, but I
also ate there again on Saturday. And she wasn't
there then either. Oh, my God, I bet she
doesn't even work there. Well, then where's all
this money coming from? Do you notice how every
single night is just under $60? Grandpa gave her $60 for
her birthday. She's just hanging
around the mall all day, flashing the same cash
every night and fooling my parents into buying
her a car. Hey, dad, can we eat at
Haley's restaurant tonight? Hey, there's a good idea. Great. I'll text her. Oh, God. No. Oh, God. Yes. Oh. Oh, God. Yes! Oh! Get after it. Oh,
amazing. I'm going for 15 more. I think you got what you needed from that. Oh, okay. Thank you. You know, maybe you do
need to talk about this fight. With Phil? How could you not know
what she was mad about? Because she didn't tell
me. She just freaked out. I cannot believe you,
Phil. How could you? What is happening? What? What did I do? Are you serious? You are. You don't know? We've
had this conversation 100 times. No no, no, I'm
not. I'm not doing this again. You tell me what you did. Uh. Uh. Was it.
- Was it. No, Phil. No no no no no,
I'm going to get some air.
- Claire! No. Don't follow me! Happy Valenbirthaversary. Storming off. Right out of your mom's playbook.
- Hmm. Where'd you go? Well, as it turns out,
not very far. Oh my God! Phil! Phil, you moron! Stop it! Oh!
- It's me. -You idiot! What are you doing?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought you were a
raccoon. You thought I was a
raccoon because people look so much like raccoons. Oh, look, there's one now.
- No! No! Wait a minute. Not even
crazy woman go crazy for no reason. What happened
before the broccoli? That's just that. It came
out of the blue. I walked in the door. We
were having a conversation about nothing. Hey, honey. Hi. Sorry I got stuck at
the office. How was your day? It was good. Although, you know
what? What? Debbie stood me up for lunch. Rude, right? No. She called. I didn't get a message. Yeah. You did. I left you one. It's right there. Uh huh? That's it. How is she supposed to
see this? If you give me a message
this tiny, I kill you. But that's not when she
got mad. Also, I talked to the
insurance company about that little accident. That wasn't your fault
because the brakes weren't working right. And that's not going to
cost us as much money as I thought. So that's
good. That's it. You insult a woman's
driving and you use the air bunnies. You do that
to me, and I kill you.