[Music] it's been hard for me to get to a point where I feel like comfortable saying that I'm like in [Music] love um [Music] man I'm sorry that I have to apologize they're not doing anything wrong you're being you and you're following your heart and whatever that means to you when I get that [Music] I think there's many layers to being in love and there's a lot of there's a lot of different phases of love and I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I am in love with you and the way that you make me feel and the way that we we have had so many moments in which I can't even explain it but felt so comfortable with you and felt so close to you felt like I needed to say that to get it off of my chest and not necessarily fore to say anything but because I would be doing myself a diservice and not saying how I truly feel so yeah [Music] there's a part of me that still wants to like guard myself cuz like we're not at the end yet but uh you know try as hard as I can I'm going to keep doing that even you know when I am feeling like a bit afraid or uncertain [Music] but I am trying I know you are and I see that every time that we're together and I know that it's hard for you and I want to do everything that I can to to be able to continue to be there for you and to help make this easier for you and I want you to be confident in this and I want you to feel like this is something that is unique and special and makes you want to jump in um you make me feel amazing you really do that means the world to me that you just said that I guess like the biggest thing that I want you to know is like even though I'm not there yet I would not be sitting in front of you right now if I didn't think that it was possible so I want to just continue to be like hopeful you you deserve all the love in the world and I'm trying to get there I'm like hopeful I like feel so grateful to still be here Jen says that she is in love with me and that was like one thing that uh I didn't know I needed to hear until I heard it and it does make me realize how important our connection is to her I have something for you do you want to read it yeah I [Music] do says Jen Marcus I hope seeing the Mana race tonight reminded you that Wonder much like love can be found unexpectedly should you choose to forgo your individual rooms please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite what do you think what do you think yeah to spend the night with you I think would be um hugely beneficial they think it'll be a really good time for growth for the two of us I agree all right let's do it shall we no having that alone time with Jen is massively important Jen knows how she feels and I'm looking forward to getting to a point where I feel as certain about her as she does about me best case scenario like I do find that Clarity and that confidence that I'm looking for and there is a love story at the end of this that's why I'm still here that's why I'm still trying [Music] is this us I think this is us okay if Jen and I make it through this I would feel like the struggle to find love was worth all the the discomfort to to get there I'm happy that I was honest with you and I do believe in us I don't want to be here unless I don't believe in us so just thank you for tonight cheers [Music] I am in love with maras my biggest hope is that he is in love with me by the end of the week and he does want to propose I could see myself living a very happy life with Marcus I feel so hopeful for our future [Music] good morning how are you feeling this morning um feeling really good really grateful I feel like our date yesterday was awesome and I feel like we needed last night and talk about a lot of the things that were Weighing on me and I appreciate you know how well you took everything mhm waking up next to Jen this morning feels magical the uh we had the ocean out in front of us the sun shining the birds chirping last night was I think hugely beneficial to the both of us hearing that Jen is in love with me means the world to me I've been falling for Jen and every time that I get to spend with her I feel you know a little more strongly about her oh my good I just have to meet her where she's at and I think that like the sky is the limit with us so I definitely feel a little bit more hopeful so I know that this is going to be the last time I see you before uh the next row ceremony mhm and I just want you to know that last night and this morning was extremely special to me and it definitely uh helps me with some of the doubts that I was having okay that makes me feel better but do you think honesty is always like the best thing and I would never want you to lie to me and not tell me how you're feeling and I think it's always good to just talk about it so yeah I think it was um was a good step for us yeah something on your lip mhm feels so good waking up next to him and I could really see Marcus of someone being at the end of this all and I want that for us like I am in love with him and I told him last night and I think we just had a really good night together come here I'm going miss you I'll miss you too we'll see you soon mhm don't start thinking too [Music] much but it's terrifying to be in love with someone who isn't there yet I I do have hope for Marcus and I but I need him to get there because meeting the family is next week a proposal is next week and I want to be able to be confident in the person standing across from me bye goodbye Jen I'll miss you it's getting harder every day that I'm here because I do have such strong feelings for all three of them there's just so much that I have to handle emotionally I just want to be able to really keep it together because things can change daily and be sad to lose somebody that I do love